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Words that really get to you
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And not in a good way either
I’m not talking about words like ick, that gives me the ick *shudder
Or words that can put you off people, ok babe?!
What I’m talking about in particular is words that are used to either reassure you or even compliment you but they don’t just hit the mark for you
The ones that really made me feel worse that I did before:
Fine as in you look fine to me
Good. That was good
Ok. That was ok, it looks ok etc
For me these are a way of saying below par but I’m being nice.
As I’m rambling now and losing direction with this I will hand it over to you and ask what words make you feel a little more down when they are meant to bring praise?
Marc |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"And not in a good way either
I’m not talking about words like ick, that gives me the ick *shudder
Or words that can put you off people, ok babe?!
What I’m talking about in particular is words that are used to either reassure you or even compliment you but they don’t just hit the mark for you
The ones that really made me feel worse that I did before:
Fine as in you look fine to me
Good. That was good
Ok. That was ok, it looks ok etc
For me these are a way of saying below par but I’m being nice.
As I’m rambling now and losing direction with this I will hand it over to you and ask what words make you feel a little more down when they are meant to bring praise?
Marc "
You did go on a ramble and confused me.
I'll have a think  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When people call me a tease when I don’t respond to them…like I’m not a tease I’m just not interested
And I hate being called gorgeous, idk why, always hated it |
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"Ick
Ick
Ick
Ick
Ick
Ick
Ick
Ick
Ick.
What's ick about ick Marc?"
Not sure I know how to use this emoji (vomit)
It makes we want to walk away from people who use it more than once in a single minute
Marc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hubby, hun and wifey all give me the ick
I’m not talking about ick words ffs. That given me the ick having to write it 3 times now 
Marc "
Oh sorry, I’ve speed read and fucked it up 
A few lately, ‘you’re in your 40s so you don’t need to try and look good’ 
‘You’d look even better if your arms weren’t so big’
‘Have you tried the gym?’
In my head I’m like ‘fuck off’, ‘it’s muscle you cunt’ and ‘I’ve been going to the gym since you were in nappies chap and my right cross would put you on your arse before you see it coming so pipe the fuck down’ |
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""you're one of the strongest people I know"
Just once, I'd like to be regarded as the strongest 
God yes, I says ask one of how many? 1 of 5 or 1 of a million?
Marc"
It comes across to me as "stop whinging" lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lad. Hate it. Especially when you hear someone talk and its said several times in a sentence
"Lad, I get you lad, but here's the thing lad. But there's things that need to change lad" |
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"Hubby, hun and wifey all give me the ick
I’m not talking about ick words ffs. That given me the ick having to write it 3 times now
Marc
Oh sorry, I’ve speed read and fucked it up
A few lately, ‘you’re in your 40s so you don’t need to try and look good’
‘You’d look even better if your arms weren’t so big’
‘Have you tried the gym?’
In my head I’m like ‘fuck off’, ‘it’s muscle you cunt’ and ‘I’ve been going to the gym since you were in nappies chap and my right cross would put you on your arse before you see it coming so pipe the fuck down’ "
Omg yes when people compliment you but at the same time suggest how you could be better 
Marc |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I'm going to be sensible though -
Yes. It's that faintly damning praise, the sort of thing where it seems the other is saying "yeah sure, that'll do".
I used to get a bit upset about it - like I dislike sending photos of myself day to day - if someone asks for one and says "you look okay" it's so fucking dreary.
Or if someone asks me to do something, especially work related and it's just a "ah nice". Really? Out of all of words you settled on the ever so dreary nice? Without even a thank you in acknowledgment.
Now though, it doesn't bother me as much. I can't control or dictate how someone responds to me, I don't have the energy to be upset nor to expect a particular response. Plus some people really aren't as fond of waffling on as I am. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't know how you do it!
Meant as a compliment to praise resilience or strength but kind of highlights that others see the struggle and that's what they chose to focus on?
It used to get to me.
T. |
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"“Don’t worry about it”
Ahh yes, excellent idea!! Why didn’t I think of that. Thank you, all my worries are gone now  "
I must admit I am guilty of using this but I know it can come across wrong. It’s normally when I’m having a conversation but during that time I’ve worked things out in my own head so don’t worry about it, save your energy
Marc |
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"I'm going to be sensible though -
Yes. It's that faintly damning praise, the sort of thing where it seems the other is saying "yeah sure, that'll do".
I used to get a bit upset about it - like I dislike sending photos of myself day to day - if someone asks for one and says "you look okay" it's so fucking dreary.
Or if someone asks me to do something, especially work related and it's just a "ah nice". Really? Out of all of words you settled on the ever so dreary nice? Without even a thank you in acknowledgment.
Now though, it doesn't bother me as much. I can't control or dictate how someone responds to me, I don't have the energy to be upset nor to expect a particular response. Plus some people really aren't as fond of waffling on as I am. "
Photos are a great example. You look good in that one etc
Only good? So if I don’t knock your socks off, what number on the queue am I of acceptable people?
Marc |
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"I don't know how you do it!
Meant as a compliment to praise resilience or strength but kind of highlights that others see the struggle and that's what they chose to focus on?
It used to get to me.
T. "
This comes from them not thinking you are capable of doing what you just did. But yes often meant as praise and it isn’t.
I would just rather hear, I knew you could do it that’s why I asked
Marc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know how you do it!
Meant as a compliment to praise resilience or strength but kind of highlights that others see the struggle and that's what they chose to focus on?
It used to get to me.
T.
This comes from them not thinking you are capable of doing what you just did. But yes often meant as praise and it isn’t.
I would just rather hear, I knew you could do it that’s why I asked
Marc"
Yes. Preferably
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When someone says "we can do" in response to me suggesting something. I have no idea how to interpret that! Is it....
A. "yes, that sounds great and I'm very happy to be doing it with you". Or,
B. "it's not my first choice, but I'll go along with it for you". Or....
C. "I'm really keen but I don't like letting people down, so I'll say yes in a non-commital sort of way and hope you pick up on my reluctance through the powers of telepathy"....?
Nell |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"When someone says "we can do" in response to me suggesting something. I have no idea how to interpret that! Is it....
A. "yes, that sounds great and I'm very happy to be doing it with you". Or,
B. "it's not my first choice, but I'll go along with it for you". Or....
C. "I'm really keen but I don't like letting people down, so I'll say yes in a non-commital sort of way and hope you pick up on my reluctance through the powers of telepathy"....?
Nell"
Oh this is such a good one! Yes, actually. I don't want it unless it's A and they make me feel like they actually want to be doing that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone says "we can do" in response to me suggesting something. I have no idea how to interpret that! Is it....
A. "yes, that sounds great and I'm very happy to be doing it with you". Or,
B. "it's not my first choice, but I'll go along with it for you". Or....
C. "I'm really keen but I don't like letting people down, so I'll say yes in a non-commital sort of way and hope you pick up on my reluctance through the powers of telepathy"....?
Nell
Oh this is such a good one! Yes, actually. I don't want it unless it's A and they make me feel like they actually want to be doing that. "
Precisely! It's a bone of contention in our house. MrWho uses the phrase frequently |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"When someone says "we can do" in response to me suggesting something. I have no idea how to interpret that! Is it....
A. "yes, that sounds great and I'm very happy to be doing it with you". Or,
B. "it's not my first choice, but I'll go along with it for you". Or....
C. "I'm really keen but I don't like letting people down, so I'll say yes in a non-commital sort of way and hope you pick up on my reluctance through the powers of telepathy"....?
Nell
Oh this is such a good one! Yes, actually. I don't want it unless it's A and they make me feel like they actually want to be doing that.
Precisely! It's a bone of contention in our house. MrWho uses the phrase frequently "
Why can I picture your adorable face screwing up so clearly?
You probably already know this but I have a friend who does that. I've resolved to not make suggestions, organise things because if it feels like I'm the one doing the labour in our friendship? It's not going to work.
But it's so hard when you love planning and know that you'll get a somewhat lacklustre response. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not a fan of the word nice. Nice is what you say when a toddler gives you a shit painting or when your complimenting your nan. I don't spend hours getting ready to be called nice. |
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"“You look nice today”
Emphasis on today
As in you look shit every other day
You look even nicer today than you did yesterday  "
She hates it when someone says she looks nice or lovely her response….my Nan looks nice/lovely |
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"“You look nice today”
Emphasis on today
As in you look shit every other day
You look even nicer today than you did yesterday
She hates it when someone says she looks nice or lovely her response….my Nan looks nice/lovely "
She likes me too much to hate what I say  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone says "we can do" in response to me suggesting something. I have no idea how to interpret that! Is it....
A. "yes, that sounds great and I'm very happy to be doing it with you". Or,
B. "it's not my first choice, but I'll go along with it for you". Or....
C. "I'm really keen but I don't like letting people down, so I'll say yes in a non-commital sort of way and hope you pick up on my reluctance through the powers of telepathy"....?
Nell
Oh this is such a good one! Yes, actually. I don't want it unless it's A and they make me feel like they actually want to be doing that.
Precisely! It's a bone of contention in our house. MrWho uses the phrase frequently
Why can I picture your adorable face screwing up so clearly?
You probably already know this but I have a friend who does that. I've resolved to not make suggestions, organise things because if it feels like I'm the one doing the labour in our friendship? It's not going to work.
But it's so hard when you love planning and know that you'll get a somewhat lacklustre response."
Whoops! C. should be "really NOT keen...."
But, yes. It can be quite dismaying when their enthusiasm isn't clear. |
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"When someone says "we can do" in response to me suggesting something. I have no idea how to interpret that! Is it....
A. "yes, that sounds great and I'm very happy to be doing it with you". Or,
B. "it's not my first choice, but I'll go along with it for you". Or....
C. "I'm really keen but I don't like letting people down, so I'll say yes in a non-commital sort of way and hope you pick up on my reluctance through the powers of telepathy"....?
Nell"
I would interpret this as we can do, but would rather not
Marc |
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"I'm not a fan of the word nice. Nice is what you say when a toddler gives you a shit painting or when your complimenting your nan. I don't spend hours getting ready to be called nice."
Yes exactly 100%
Marc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone says "we can do" in response to me suggesting something. I have no idea how to interpret that! Is it....
A. "yes, that sounds great and I'm very happy to be doing it with you". Or,
B. "it's not my first choice, but I'll go along with it for you". Or....
C. "I'm really keen but I don't like letting people down, so I'll say yes in a non-commital sort of way and hope you pick up on my reluctance through the powers of telepathy"....?
Nell
I would interpret this as we can do, but would rather not
Marc"
That's what I think, but according to my partner it means "yes, that sounds nice". |
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"I'll give it 110%
No, you can't do that - it really irritates me just give it 100% there's nothing wrong with that "
This is something that really winds me up. 100% is all that you can give. Of you think you can give 110% then you’re 100% want 100% in the first place and I highly doubt your 100 will even reach 50
Marc |
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"When someone says "we can do" in response to me suggesting something. I have no idea how to interpret that! Is it....
A. "yes, that sounds great and I'm very happy to be doing it with you". Or,
B. "it's not my first choice, but I'll go along with it for you". Or....
C. "I'm really keen but I don't like letting people down, so I'll say yes in a non-commital sort of way and hope you pick up on my reluctance through the powers of telepathy"....?
Nell
I would interpret this as we can do, but would rather not
Marc
That's what I think, but according to my partner it means "yes, that sounds nice". "
Effing nice? That just reinforces it for me
Marc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone says "we can do" in response to me suggesting something. I have no idea how to interpret that! Is it....
A. "yes, that sounds great and I'm very happy to be doing it with you". Or,
B. "it's not my first choice, but I'll go along with it for you". Or....
C. "I'm really keen but I don't like letting people down, so I'll say yes in a non-commital sort of way and hope you pick up on my reluctance through the powers of telepathy"....?
Nell
I would interpret this as we can do, but would rather not
Marc
That's what I think, but according to my partner it means "yes, that sounds nice".
Effing nice? That just reinforces it for me
Marc"
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"When someone says "we can do" in response to me suggesting something. I have no idea how to interpret that! Is it....
A. "yes, that sounds great and I'm very happy to be doing it with you". Or,
B. "it's not my first choice, but I'll go along with it for you". Or....
C. "I'm really keen but I don't like letting people down, so I'll say yes in a non-commital sort of way and hope you pick up on my reluctance through the powers of telepathy"....?
Nell
I would interpret this as we can do, but would rather not
Marc
That's what I think, but according to my partner it means "yes, that sounds nice". "
Nell!  Do I have to be nice to him when I see you both? Because there are some things that aren't excusable.
(Joke; love you both) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"“You look nice today”
Emphasis on today
As in you look shit every other day
You look even nicer today than you did yesterday
She hates it when someone says she looks nice or lovely her response….my Nan looks nice/lovely
She likes me too much to hate what I say "
I hate that you’re right |
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"“You look nice today”
Emphasis on today
As in you look shit every other day
You look even nicer today than you did yesterday
She hates it when someone says she looks nice or lovely her response….my Nan looks nice/lovely
She likes me too much to hate what I say
I hate that you’re right "
But I'm always right |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'll give it 110%
No, you can't do that - it really irritates me just give it 100% there's nothing wrong with that
This is something that really winds me up. 100% is all that you can give. Of you think you can give 110% then you’re 100% want 100% in the first place and I highly doubt your 100 will even reach 50
Marc"
Absolutely, it's always aggravated me but people say it with pride |
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I get the being damned with faint praise thing but, on balance, think I prefer that to hyperbole. If something's good, it's good. No need to pretend to me it's great.
But maybe I am thinking too much along work lines. I know it's different when receiving a personal compliment, but even then I baulk if I think it sounds OTT...
This has come up before but I don't have the problem with the word "nice" that many people do! |
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"I get the being damned with faint praise thing but, on balance, think I prefer that to hyperbole. If something's good, it's good. No need to pretend to me it's great.
But maybe I am thinking too much along work lines. I know it's different when receiving a personal compliment, but even then I baulk if I think it sounds OTT...
This has come up before but I don't have the problem with the word "nice" that many people do! "
I do agree it’s always easier in person and the tone or body language that is used at the same time can change its emphasis but these words still irritate me
Marc |
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"I couldn't have picked a worse meme to send you the other day!
J
I did wonder what had caused this to be playing on my mind more than usual lately…
You all need a firm talking to
Marc"
Yes please
J |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not going to lie..." so the rest of the time when you dont say that you are telling lies, is that what I am meant to take from it.
Also, "Do you know what I mean?" when they have just made the most bleeding obvious statement that could not have any other meaning. |
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"When people call me a tease when I don’t respond to them…like I’m not a tease I’m just not interested
And I hate being called gorgeous, idk why, always hated it "
Ugh yes this grosses me out. Some men whatever you do think it has to be related to their pleasure in a way. I can be talking to a guy and if I'm not in the mood and I don't flirt he'll call me a tease like it's all an act to make him more aroused. No dude I'm just tired.
Same goes in the webcam rooms if I dont strip naked for people who ask. They say I'm a tease when I'm just trying to sit there and talk to people. My existence is only to titillate or deny men apparently. I can't just be. |
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Like when you hear young women use it every second fucking work
And they supposed to be educated lol not like in my day when every body called each other man .where it was man or a woman . don't mean to get heavy man but. Like every second word pisses me off. |
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To be honest it's more the person saying them than the words.
If you can get away with calling me sweet or babe then I'm pretty much in the  zone.
Someone called me honourable last night, they understood my situation deeply and really meant it. That was significant to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was ya?. Instead of were you?. My sister in law irritates the hell out of me but I just can't tell her. Even her brother is aware of this and laughs at me. |
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'for your age'
I think it's insulting to have that tacked on to an attempt at complimenting me.
That reminded me. I bent to tie my shoelace recently and my friend said
"You should wear slip ons at your age because you can't bend down" despite the fact that there I was bending down |
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By *lofeldMan
over a year ago
Redhill |
"'My truth' This ridiculous one is starting to creep into society, uttered typically by morons. There is no 'My truth'. There is 'The truth'.
No Cap?
Marc"
As in no capital letter used on truth? Or no cap on the amount of times these words put together will irritate me? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When someone says "we can do" in response to me suggesting something. I have no idea how to interpret that! Is it....
A. "yes, that sounds great and I'm very happy to be doing it with you". Or,
B. "it's not my first choice, but I'll go along with it for you". Or....
C. "I'm really keen but I don't like letting people down, so I'll say yes in a non-commital sort of way and hope you pick up on my reluctance through the powers of telepathy"....?
Nell
I would interpret this as we can do, but would rather not
Marc
That's what I think, but according to my partner it means "yes, that sounds nice".
Nell! Do I have to be nice to him when I see you both? Because there are some things that aren't excusable.
(Joke; love you both)"
You can do...
MrWho. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When people say they’re “naughty.” Or they’re hoping for some “naughty fun.” Takes all the sexiness and eroticism out of swinging."
This.
Even worse when they use that word to excuse disrespectful behaviour. |
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"When people say they’re “naughty.” Or they’re hoping for some “naughty fun.” Takes all the sexiness and eroticism out of swinging.
This.
Even worse when they use that word to excuse disrespectful behaviour. "
Absolutely! |
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Ooooo just thought I’d another fab related.
When people write on a veri ‘leaves you wanting more’ I read that as didn’t completely satisfy the first time
I know it’s meant to be a compliment but still…
Marc |
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"Ooooo just thought I’d another fab related.
When people write on a veri ‘leaves you wanting more’ I read that as didn’t completely satisfy the first time
I know it’s meant to be a compliment but still…
Marc "
"Treat this one with respect"
What, and call all the others every name under the sun? |
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"When people say they’re “naughty.” Or they’re hoping for some “naughty fun.” Takes all the sexiness and eroticism out of swinging."
This. I know it's hard to find ways to describe certain umbrella terms for sex acts but come on! |
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"Ooooo just thought I’d another fab related.
When people write on a veri ‘leaves you wanting more’ I read that as didn’t completely satisfy the first time
I know it’s meant to be a compliment but still…
Marc
"Treat this one with respect"
What, and call all the others every name under the sun? "
Haha this is normally after the most graphic of veris too
Marc |
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"Ooooo just thought I’d another fab related.
When people write on a veri ‘leaves you wanting more’ I read that as didn’t completely satisfy the first time
I know it’s meant to be a compliment but still…
Marc
"Treat this one with respect"
What, and call all the others every name under the sun?
Haha this is normally after the most graphic of veris too
Marc "
So true!! |
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