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Songs to piss your neighbours off
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My next door neighbours are arseholes and have spent the last 5 years bitching and moaning about absolutely everything to me.
They are having a BBQ today and have asked me to ensure nobody smokes in my garden (as heaven forbid it might blow over their fence), and asked me to avoid having visitors as this would take up parking spaces on the (public) road.... They haven't mentioned anything about noise as I'm not generally a noisy person....
I therefore have decided that today I shall be cleaning my house with some loud music to keep me company. With the windows open. And not looking at WhatsApp when the inevitable message arrives asking me to turn it off.
I'm starting with Green Day - what other recommendations do people have  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Buy a sprinkler and pop it close to boundary fence and pretend it’s raining."
I don't have any grass in my garden
I'm thinking about hammering some wood or something in the shed as another noisy option |
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As tempting as it is, all this would do is probably make them turn up any music of their own, and then you enter in to a war of loudness to which innocent neighbours on other sides get embroiled in.
I would go for something more subtle.
It's going to be a lovely day for a spot of gardening.
So get the mower out.
Perhaps the borders need doing, so a strimmer as well, if you have one.
And if you have soil beds needing doing, it might be a good time to buy a large bag of manure or 3 and work that in to those beds to enrich the soil. Make sure you spread it liberally around to really get in to the ground.
Of course, you don't want to mozzies to bite you whilst you are working in the garden (if you are able to ofc), so some citronella candles over the place will help keep them at bay too. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Some quality bangers being suggested here
I'm creating a playlist of thrash metal, 90s cheese and reggae right now
Alas my garden that adjoins theirs is just an empty patio so I have no lawn to mow  might start spray painting the shed though |
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"Some quality bangers being suggested here
I'm creating a playlist of thrash metal, 90s cheese and reggae right now
Alas my garden that adjoins theirs is just an empty patio so I have no lawn to mow might start spray painting the shed though "
Don't forget the ibiza chilled vibes now... |
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"Some quality bangers being suggested here
I'm creating a playlist of thrash metal, 90s cheese and reggae right now
Alas my garden that adjoins theirs is just an empty patio so I have no lawn to mow might start spray painting the shed though "
Does your patio perhaps need power washed? Oops, some of the water has gone across into their garden! |
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As if they've asked you to do all this... how bloody cheeky it's your garden and your house so if friends/family come round it's tough if their visitors cannot park.. I would have any music on loud and do whatever I pleased to do and would definately invite people to come round.. the cheek of it!! Wow!!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My next door neighbours are arseholes and have spent the last 5 years bitching and moaning about absolutely everything to me.
They are having a BBQ today and have asked me to ensure nobody smokes in my garden (as heaven forbid it might blow over their fence), and asked me to avoid having visitors as this would take up parking spaces on the (public) road.... They haven't mentioned anything about noise as I'm not generally a noisy person....
I therefore have decided that today I shall be cleaning my house with some loud music to keep me company. With the windows open. And not looking at WhatsApp when the inevitable message arrives asking me to turn it off.
I'm starting with Green Day - what other recommendations do people have "
Wait until they’re all chatting away and pump out 5 finger Death punch - Jekyll and Hyde
Or
Disturbed - down with the sickness |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
I'd go with whatever your favourite song is, but have it on repeat. Then buy a recorder or penny whistle from your local music shop and then learn how to play that lovely song. Obviously there'll be plenty of screeching noises produced as you attempt to learn the right notes over and over again.
After a couple of hours invite a friend round and have a staged big argument about nothing in particular with plenty of raised voices and repeated shouting of "how dare you" and " who the hell do you think you are".
Shame I don't live nearer or I'd have offered to help  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'd go with whatever your favourite song is, but have it on repeat. Then buy a recorder or penny whistle from your local music shop and then learn how to play that lovely song. Obviously there'll be plenty of screeching noises produced as you attempt to learn the right notes over and over again.
"
This is a great idea - I play violin (badly) and feel that a lengthy practice in the garden on such a lovely sunny day is really needed  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Wtf? They're having a bbq (that smoke smell stinks on clothes) but you're not allowed to have people smoking in your garden?  "
Might even take up smoking again myself and puff it straight through the holes in the fence |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"As if they've asked you to do all this... how bloody cheeky it's your garden and your house so if friends/family come round it's tough if their visitors cannot park.. I would have any music on loud and do whatever I pleased to do and would definately invite people to come round.. the cheek of it!! Wow!!! "
Might throw a party tonight and have a really loud orgy with the windows open.
They really are unbearable, threatened to sue me about various things many times over the years. |
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By *igjonny090Man
over a year ago
blackpool and Manchester |
Depending on how good your singing is or isn’t, I’d go for something where you can make a racket with it.
My neighbours quite often party till 2/3am when they know I have to be up for work at 6 so when I’m in the shower they get my renditions of things like let it go, bring him home from les mis and ones where basically I can properly belt it and make a lot of noise to wake them up from their hangover |
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That would work can make noise till 11pm yeah it’s not nice but when people are arses it’s what they deserve. Also invite as many people round as you can take up all the parking and have your own party |
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What a bloody nerve they having a BBQ & sending smoke etc into your garden yet,tell you no smoking in your or no road parking.. 
I would have big bonfire in yours & blast out " I'm in the mood for dancing" by the Nolans then the Crazy Frog.. |
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By *izzy.Woman
over a year ago
Stoke area |
"I'd go with whatever your favourite song is, but have it on repeat. Then buy a recorder or penny whistle from your local music shop and then learn how to play that lovely song. Obviously there'll be plenty of screeching noises produced as you attempt to learn the right notes over and over again.
This is a great idea - I play violin (badly) and feel that a lengthy practice in the garden on such a lovely sunny day is really needed "
Violin practise ....awesome. just pick a really naff tune and it'll be delightful |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My next door neighbours are arseholes and have spent the last 5 years bitching and moaning about absolutely everything to me.
They are having a BBQ today and have asked me to ensure nobody smokes in my garden (as heaven forbid it might blow over their fence), and asked me to avoid having visitors as this would take up parking spaces on the (public) road.... They haven't mentioned anything about noise as I'm not generally a noisy person....
I therefore have decided that today I shall be cleaning my house with some loud music to keep me company. With the windows open. And not looking at WhatsApp when the inevitable message arrives asking me to turn it off.
I'm starting with Green Day - what other recommendations do people have "
Watch the world burn by Falling in Reverse. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I have no more fucks to give... can't remember who it's by but absolutely brilliant lol"
Oh yes! That's a good shout.:D
I wouldn't do it because I couldn't be arsed dealing with potential drama and fallout - not a good idea if you're planning on selling at any point.
But if I did, that would be my song of choice. |
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AC/DC - Highway to Hell
Led Zep - The immigrant song
Skunk Anansie - Hedonism
Black Sabbath - Paranoid
Steppenwoolf - born to be wild
Free - Wishing Well
Kiss - I was Made for Loving you
Eric Clapton - Layla
that should learn 'em  |
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"As tempting as it is, all this would do is probably make them turn up any music of their own, and then you enter in to a war of loudness to which innocent neighbours on other sides get embroiled in.
I would go for something more subtle.
It's going to be a lovely day for a spot of gardening.
So get the mower out.
Perhaps the borders need doing, so a strimmer as well, if you have one.
And if you have soil beds needing doing, it might be a good time to buy a large bag of manure or 3 and work that in to those beds to enrich the soil. Make sure you spread it liberally around to really get in to the ground.
Of course, you don't want to mozzies to bite you whilst you are working in the garden (if you are able to ofc), so some citronella candles over the place will help keep them at bay too."
My friend had a long running dispute with her neighbours so arranged for a big delivery of manure the morning she was going on holiday for 2 weeks - just as the UK had a heatwave….
J x |
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"As tempting as it is, all this would do is probably make them turn up any music of their own, and then you enter in to a war of loudness to which innocent neighbours on other sides get embroiled in.
I would go for something more subtle.
It's going to be a lovely day for a spot of gardening.
So get the mower out.
Perhaps the borders need doing, so a strimmer as well, if you have one.
And if you have soil beds needing doing, it might be a good time to buy a large bag of manure or 3 and work that in to those beds to enrich the soil. Make sure you spread it liberally around to really get in to the ground.
Of course, you don't want to mozzies to bite you whilst you are working in the garden (if you are able to ofc), so some citronella candles over the place will help keep them at bay too.
My friend had a long running dispute with her neighbours so arranged for a big delivery of manure the morning she was going on holiday for 2 weeks - just as the UK had a heatwave….
J x"
Thats genius pure genius like megalomaniac genus levels |
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I would certainly be livid too if they said these things. On the other hand though there are nightmare neighbours who feel they can do anything they like, not caring how it affects others. It's my home/garden and I do as I please sort of attitude. Well no, if you have 3 dogs constantly barking day and night, you let your kids run amok and turned your garden into a buttlins playground, play loud music and constantly partying at the expense of others and their enjoyment of their home/garden. It happens a lot unfortunately and blightens the life of others. However on this ocassion I do believe a bit of agadoo might be in order for being so cheeky, unless you have of course given them a lot of reason to be in the past. |
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"I prefer Rammstein, what is not to love about a very heavy metal german group, that only sings in german."
Not entirely true Amerika is sung in English and Pussy has English in it too and of course their version of Depeche Mode's Stripped... I'd go with Pussy though lol |
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By *ola xWoman
over a year ago
Oswestry Shropshire |
"My next door neighbours are arseholes and have spent the last 5 years bitching and moaning about absolutely everything to me.
They are having a BBQ today and have asked me to ensure nobody smokes in my garden (as heaven forbid it might blow over their fence), and asked me to avoid having visitors as this would take up parking spaces on the (public) road.... They haven't mentioned anything about noise as I'm not generally a noisy person....
I therefore have decided that today I shall be cleaning my house with some loud music to keep me company. With the windows open. And not looking at WhatsApp when the inevitable message arrives asking me to turn it off.
I'm starting with Green Day - what other recommendations do people have "
Dying to know how it went and what you did to help you neighbours enjoy their bbq  |
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By *uriousredWoman
over a year ago
Surrey/Hampshire |
I adopt a strategy with my downstairs neighbour that the moment he winds me up with his music/whistling or both, I kick in my music. Selections I have are:
Angry emo rock
The classic 'you're a cunt'
Dance tunes with excellent bass
The key thing is make sure whatever you're playing music from just has as much bass production as possible |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"My next door neighbours are arseholes and have spent the last 5 years bitching and moaning about absolutely everything to me.
They are having a BBQ today and have asked me to ensure nobody smokes in my garden (as heaven forbid it might blow over their fence), and asked me to avoid having visitors as this would take up parking spaces on the (public) road.... They haven't mentioned anything about noise as I'm not generally a noisy person....
I therefore have decided that today I shall be cleaning my house with some loud music to keep me company. With the windows open. And not looking at WhatsApp when the inevitable message arrives asking me to turn it off.
I'm starting with Green Day - what other recommendations do people have "
AC/DC ..make sure you turn it UP !!!  |
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Has anyone mentioned that gentle ditty that wafts along with the words
FUCK YOU! I WON'T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME....
(best played at volume 11)
Can also suggest
Sisters Of Mercy- Temple of Love 92 extended remix (Its long and kicks the speakers arse)
The Cult- She Sells Sanctuary... extended mix
The Entire Prodigy -Fat of the Land album and likewise, just work your way through Carter USM's back catalogue...you won't hear the shouting or door knocking
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Update!
Thank you all for your playlist suggestions! I had a fabulous cleaning disco, nice and loud, including shampooing the carpets with the noisy vax machine with the doors open. My friend with her 4 year old twins and a karaoke machine was the finale and a good squirt of killer out of my bedroom window onto the neighbours back lawn - was trying to make a penis shape but it's not easy! 
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Update!
Thank you all for your playlist suggestions! I had a fabulous cleaning disco, nice and loud, including shampooing the carpets with the noisy vax machine with the doors open. My friend with her 4 year old twins and a karaoke machine was the finale and a good squirt of killer out of my bedroom window onto the neighbours back lawn - was trying to make a penis shape but it's not easy!
"
T |
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"Update!
Thank you all for your playlist suggestions! I had a fabulous cleaning disco, nice and loud, including shampooing the carpets with the noisy vax machine with the doors open. My friend with her 4 year old twins and a karaoke machine was the finale and a good squirt of killer out of my bedroom window onto the neighbours back lawn - was trying to make a penis shape but it's not easy!
"
Loving the w@@dkiller!!!
J x |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"Update!
Thank you all for your playlist suggestions! I had a fabulous cleaning disco, nice and loud, including shampooing the carpets with the noisy vax machine with the doors open. My friend with her 4 year old twins and a karaoke machine was the finale and a good squirt of killer out of my bedroom window onto the neighbours back lawn - was trying to make a penis shape but it's not easy!
"
Fantastic! Sounds like your neighbours are already a penis shape. |
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The first time was fun, the second okay, but by the 10th time I was ready to do murder.
J
