It appears to me to be beyond the realms of credulity that everyone dresses simply to please themselves yet manages simultaneously to wear clothes that not only to one degree or another conform with general fashions but also conform with norms for what they're planning to do and where they're planning to be while wearing those clothes. Despite the universally accepted comfort of a onsie for instance I'm yet to see someone wearing one in the office.
The truth is a lot more complex. We are, with very few exceptions, acutely aware of how we look, what image we portray and how our clothing style is likely to be perceived. You only need to look at the comments in the fashion pages or the way photo's of people who are dressed/look different to the born are shared to understand how much people are judged on experience.
This isn't the same as saying a person dressed in a certain way deserves to be treated badly or is "asking for it". It is merely pointing out that we are all very aware of the image we portray, how we are likely to be seen by others and how we are likely to be judged. It's why we don't wear a shirt and tie to work out or pyjamas to the office. When we say I'm wearing this because it makes me feel good, what we mean is I feel good because I'm confident the way I'm dressed portrays me the way I want to be seen. It's the other side of the coin to feeling awkward when we believe we've over dressed our under dressed for an occasion, the embarrassment some of us may feel if seen by our boss putting the bins out in a pair of pyjamas or the awkwardness we all felt at school when everyone else was wearing cool clothes and we weren't.
It is interesting also to consider why certain behaviors "feel good". Why for example is play universal across so many species? Because it feels good. Why? Because it is an activity that despite wasting a large amount of energy ensure the young in particular get the benefits of play - skills practice, strength, coordination etc. Individuals that got pleasure out of playing were by and large more likely to survive so playing became coded for in our genes. Why do foods containing sugar, salt and fat all taste so much better? Because these were scarce but much needed commodities so those who enjoyed them more made more effort to seek them out and so had better survival chances. Why does dressing in certain ways make us feel good? Because the individuals who had the strongest pleasure from certain behaviours made the most effort to display them and in turn were more likely to pass on their genes. That isn't too say that it is necessarily all about sex, clothing performs all kinds of social functions. No doubt there was a caveman equivalent of a lawyer getting no work and therefore starving to death because his clients didn't trust a lawyer dressed in paint spattered overalls. So we feel good going to a funeral dressed in black because it is socially acceptable but are highly unlikely to feel good wearing the same clothes to a sex club.
That said, certain ways of dressing are widely known to heighten sexual attraction. It seems very unlikely that a large number of women will deliberately seek to conceal their cleavage in order not to get unwanted sexual attention while others are oblivious to the fact this happens. If you dress to display your cleavage, whether you admit it to yourself or not, the reason it makes you feel happy is because you believe you look sexy - and that belief can only ever be based on a knowledge of how others perceive us. Again, that is very different to saying you are asking for unwanted sexual attention but to deny such awareness requires a great deal of self deception.
Obviously this goes both ways. There are any number of threads on watches, grey joggers, rolled up shirt sleeves etc etc that show clearly we are all aware certain looks, styles, clothes, accessories are appreciated by some members of the opposite sex. Knowing you look sexy makes you feel good so yes, the proximate reason you choose certain clothes may well be because they make you feel good but the ultimate reason is that evolution has ensured we all do our best to survive and pass on our genes. That means we need to fit in with social norms and we need to attract mates. Behaviour that works towards these goals is always going to be more pleasurable than behaviour that doesn't.
Put simply, if you feel you're only wearing a revealing top because it makes you feel good and that feeling has nothing whatsoever to do with how others will percieve you, ask yourself if you world feel equally as good in a garment that has a similar level of comfort but world be considered out of place. If you feel good wearing a plunging neckline to the shops but would feel awkward or embarrassed walking around Aldi in the top half of a wedding dress with an identical cut and the same pair of jeans, you are not dressing for yourself, you are dressing for how others perceive you. |