FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Advise my mate
Advise my mate
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My best mate just told me that he's first fab meet, they met 4 weeks ago, just informed him that she's pregnant.
She's not met anyone else since their meet.
AS you'd expect, he is discombobulated! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They met once, had sex with no condom or contraceptive and now theres a pregnancy and it's his because she said theres only been him.....cynical maybe but I'd want more than her word and only advice I'd offer him is wear a bloody condom ffs. |
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"My best mate just told me that he's first fab meet, they met 4 weeks ago, just informed him that she's pregnant.
She's not met anyone else since their meet.
AS you'd expect, he is discombobulated! "
I wonder about the bareback gangbang she had the night before….?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did he wear protection? If not then I’m not sure why he’d be discombobulated.
He didn't  "
Aww well I’ve no sympathy for either of them. They’re old enough to know how babies are made  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They met once, had sex with no condom or contraceptive and now theres a pregnancy and it's his because she said theres only been him.....cynical maybe but I'd want more than her word and only advice I'd offer him is wear a bloody condom ffs."
I agree. I'd want alot more confirmation that what she was saying was true. Wear a condom in future and ask for a paternity test. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe he should start getting to know her on a deeper level now…"
No rush, they’ll have the next 18 years to get to know each other. I’m sure everything will work out just fine  |
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There really is only 2 options for advice here, either do the right thing and own the consequences of both their stupid mistake, or build a time machine and go back and fix it. If this post suddenly disappears off fab then we'll know which option was taken. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If they live in Scotland they’ll get the baby box while she’s pregnant. Comes with loads of things for the baby and mum, but it also comes with condoms
Tell him to wear them next time |
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"Two things is he sure it's is id have a test if he stops around 2nd is she local to him does she no where he lives and works if not don't keep in touch."
Wow. How mature. So he should totally evade his responsibility as an adult and half of a pair who made a baby?
And she is, what, supposed to bring up the unfortunate nipper on her own because he can’t be arsed?
Nice. |
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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago
Ilkeston |
"Two things is he sure it's is id have a test if he stops around 2nd is she local to him does she no where he lives and works if not don't keep in touch."
It take two to tango he has to take responsibility for the situation they both are in.
It’s completely wrong to ditch her with potentially his kid and expect her to do everything |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Is he super sperm? First meet and ovulating at that exact time and BB.. I've had better odds on Everton winning the league. "
It only takes one tiny sperm cell to swim upstream |
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"Two things is he sure it's is id have a test if he stops around 2nd is she local to him does she no where he lives and works if not don't keep in touch."
Why shouldn't he shoulder some of the responsibility? She didn't force him to go bareback! |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"My best mate just told me that he's first fab meet, they met 4 weeks ago, just informed him that she's pregnant.
She's not met anyone else since their meet.
AS you'd expect, he is discombobulated! "
Could be worse.
His mate could have told the entire lounge forum population.
A |
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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
"My best mate just told me that he's first fab meet, they met 4 weeks ago, just informed him that she's pregnant.
She's not met anyone else since their meet.
AS you'd expect, he is discombobulated! "
Well he finds himself in a pickle now doesn’t he lol  .
-1st off he’s a silly sausage for diving in raw that was not a smart decision.
- its still early in the pregnancy so I suppose there is always that other option if both of them don’t want this! Just saying
- if they do agree to proceed I would recommend a DNA test asap! If he is the daddy for sure time to put on his big daddy pants & make sonny or daughter proud  |
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Can I just say that I conceived while we were using condoms. I was also 46 years old at the time. If a pregnancy wants to occur it damn well will and this couple might well have taken precautions.
Whatever their situation to those who assume they didn't use protection please don't rely on condoms as 100% fail safe contraception if you want to be sure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can I just say that I conceived while we were using condoms. I was also 46 years old at the time. If a pregnancy wants to occur it damn well will and this couple might well have taken precautions.
Whatever their situation to those who assume they didn't use protection please don't rely on condoms as 100% fail safe contraception if you want to be sure "
Says at the top it was a bareback 1st meet so no one is assuming in this case or story. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Also I hope he's not expecting us all to attend the baby shower and take gifts  "
Don't spoil it, we're all one big happy family on Fab. I am expecting an invite to the wedding (or are they going to live in sin, in which case what a scandal that'll be for all of us)  |
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"Also I hope he's not expecting us all to attend the baby shower and take gifts
Don't spoil it, we're all one big happy family on Fab. I am expecting an invite to the wedding (or are they going to live in sin, in which case what a scandal that'll be for all of us) "
They got to name it faby I reckon |
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"Your best mate is barebacking first fab meets?
What’s wrong with the mandem   "
Hmmm
I don't see the problem
Especially if they have chatted before the meet and assured each other that they have been tested and that either he is snipped and or she is on the pill or something. |
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"Your best mate is barebacking first fab meets?
What’s wrong with the mandem
Hmmm
I don't see the problem
Especially if they have chatted before the meet and assured each other that they have been tested and that either he is snipped and or she is on the pill or something. "
Guessing he's not had the snip and no contraceptive is 100% safe against pregnancy and the problem is she's pregnant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From previous experience of a one night stand ending up in pregnancy, I would tell your friend to request a paternity test as soon as the baby is born, he only has her word she’s not fucked anyone else, especially if she starts asking for money! She defo baby trapped him, finding out she’s pregnant after only sleeping together 4 weeks prior? Sounds pretty sus to me, tell your lad no more bareback riding and to book himself in for a sexual health screening. |
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"Did he wear protection? If not then I’m not sure why he’d be discombobulated.
He didn't "
Then it’s gonna be her choice what to do and he’s gonna need to pony up!
One of the many risks of unprotected sex! |
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" She defo baby trapped him, finding out she’s pregnant after only sleeping together 4 weeks prior? "
..........................
We don't know anything about her or what she was thinking, but we do know he defo trapped himself, she didn't force him to ejaculate inside her. |
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She’s symptomatic and tested and confirmed after just 4 weeks, so just barely a full cycle?
That’s not impossible, but given how this meet was arranged and went down, I’d be cynical that this was his.
If she’s keeping it, I’d want a paternity test. |
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"She’s symptomatic and tested and confirmed after just 4 weeks, so just barely a full cycle?
That’s not impossible, but given how this meet was arranged and went down, I’d be cynical that this was his.
If she’s keeping it, I’d want a paternity test."
Having no actual knowledge of how it all works, I (Frankie) did think it was quite quick to know! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Your best mate is barebacking first fab meets?
What’s wrong with the mandem
Hmmm
I don't see the problem
Especially if they have chatted before the meet and assured each other that they have been tested and that either he is snipped and or she is on the pill or something. "
Do you believe everything someone tells you  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Two things is he sure it's is id have a test if he stops around 2nd is she local to him does she no where he lives and works if not don't keep in touch."
No irony in your username being bad dad. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A friend of mine, lost his virginity, got a girl pregnant and caught chlamydia in the matter of about 5 minutes!"
He doesn’t cross roads on his own does he |
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"A friend of mine, lost his virginity, got a girl pregnant and caught chlamydia in the matter of about 5 minutes!
You never forget your first time."
Nope, he also now has a keepsake! Personally I’d have preferred a photo or even a fridge magnet |
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"She’s symptomatic and tested and confirmed after just 4 weeks, so just barely a full cycle?
That’s not impossible, but given how this meet was arranged and went down, I’d be cynical that this was his.
If she’s keeping it, I’d want a paternity test.
Having no actual knowledge of how it all works, I (Frankie) did think it was quite quick to know! "
Me too…so I googled it- apparently pregnancy tests can reliably test positive as little as 10 days after conception. Who knew?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A friend of mine, lost his virginity, got a girl pregnant and caught chlamydia in the matter of about 5 minutes!
He doesn’t cross roads on his own does he
No he has a child to help him across "
Well that’s something! |
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"She’s symptomatic and tested and confirmed after just 4 weeks, so just barely a full cycle?
That’s not impossible, but given how this meet was arranged and went down, I’d be cynical that this was his.
If she’s keeping it, I’d want a paternity test."
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Also I hope he's not expecting us all to attend the baby shower and take gifts
Don't spoil it, we're all one big happy family on Fab. I am expecting an invite to the wedding (or are they going to live in sin, in which case what a scandal that'll be for all of us)
They got to name it faby I reckon "
Fabio if its a boy or Fabienne if it's a girl.
A |
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"She’s symptomatic and tested and confirmed after just 4 weeks, so just barely a full cycle?
That’s not impossible, but given how this meet was arranged and went down, I’d be cynical that this was his.
If she’s keeping it, I’d want a paternity test.
Having no actual knowledge of how it all works, I (Frankie) did think it was quite quick to know! "
If her period was due the week after the meet, and tested two weeks after that, she's pregnant. A full cycle is irrelevant. It's an embryo until six weeks. Very early. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She defo baby trapped him, finding out she’s pregnant after only sleeping together 4 weeks prior? Sounds pretty sus to me"
Hate to break it to you, that's kinda how pregnancy works |
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"Also I hope he's not expecting us all to attend the baby shower and take gifts
Don't spoil it, we're all one big happy family on Fab. I am expecting an invite to the wedding (or are they going to live in sin, in which case what a scandal that'll be for all of us)
They got to name it faby I reckon
Fabio if its a boy or Fabienne if it's a girl.
A"
What about, Fabino? |
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"Can I just say that I conceived while we were using condoms. I was also 46 years old at the time. If a pregnancy wants to occur it damn well will and this couple might well have taken precautions.
Whatever their situation to those who assume they didn't use protection please don't rely on condoms as 100% fail safe contraception if you want to be sure
Says at the top it was a bareback 1st meet so no one is assuming in this case or story. "
Ah missed that. My mistake |
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"My best mate just told me that he's first fab meet, they met 4 weeks ago, just informed him that she's pregnant.
She's not met anyone else since their meet.
AS you'd expect, he is discombobulated! "
Where’s Jeremy Kyle when you need him!?? |
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By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
"Also I hope he's not expecting us all to attend the baby shower and take gifts
Don't spoil it, we're all one big happy family on Fab. I am expecting an invite to the wedding (or are they going to live in sin, in which case what a scandal that'll be for all of us)
They got to name it faby I reckon
Fabio if its a boy or Fabienne if it's a girl.
A"
Those baby names cracked me up hahaha |
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"Honestly, yes a condom would have been a good idea but also she in all honesty should also be using birth control, sounds a bit like a honey trap. "
Erm, did this guy not realise what causes pregnancy? |
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Thank god i had the snip as condoms can still break. If i was him id insist on DNA tests before thinking of paying child support. She might well have bb fucked a few guys on here and lied telling him he was the first. She might well be just after money who knows. John. |
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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago
Ilkeston |
"Honestly, yes a condom would have been a good idea but also she in all honesty should also be using birth control, sounds a bit like a honey trap.
Erm, did this guy not realise what causes pregnancy?"
Honestly it amazes me how many people would just run and not bother about the consequences |
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"Honestly, yes a condom would have been a good idea but also she in all honesty should also be using birth control, sounds a bit like a honey trap.
Erm, did this guy not realise what causes pregnancy?"
Takes two to tango though. She is responsible for her body. |
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"You say she hasn't met anyone else since their meet.
Had she met anyone else prior to it?"
That's what I thought too... From meeting 4 weeks ago to actually realising she's pregnant is a very small window of time. I had no idea until I was nearly 3 months gone.
Of course, he should offer to support her with whatever decision she makes.
Also he needs to get himself tested for STIs. |
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"My best mate just told me that he's first fab meet, they met 4 weeks ago, just informed him that she's pregnant.
She's not met anyone else since their meet.
AS you'd expect, he is discombobulated! "
If you're his best mate you'll be in the running for best man, dust off the suit |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A lot of judgement on the woman here… suggesting he gets tested but nobody suggested she does?
Either way, two responsible adults acting irresponsibly. Both have a duty of care here, and the future needs to be decided together… and yes, I’d suggest a paternity test.
Amazed at those who think severing all contact and doing a runner is a morally acceptable option.
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"A lot of judgement on the woman here… suggesting he gets tested but nobody suggested she does?
Either way, two responsible adults acting irresponsibly. Both have a duty of care here, and the future needs to be decided together… and yes, I’d suggest a paternity test.
Amazed at those who think severing all contact and doing a runner is a morally acceptable option.
"
The thread is primarily for advice for the op’s friend. Not the lady! |
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"Honestly, yes a condom would have been a good idea but also she in all honesty should also be using birth control, sounds a bit like a honey trap.
Erm, did this guy not realise what causes pregnancy?
Takes two to tango though. She is responsible for her body. "
I agree but to suggest it's a trap when none of us know anything about either if them is a bit much I think. If it was designed to trap him, from the information we have here, he's walked into it with his eyes wide open. |
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"Honestly, yes a condom would have been a good idea but also she in all honesty should also be using birth control, sounds a bit like a honey trap.
Erm, did this guy not realise what causes pregnancy?
Honestly it amazes me how many people would just run and not bother about the consequences"
It doesn't amaze me. I've seen too many men and the occasional woman walk away from their partner and children without a thought for their welfare and fight tooth and nail to contribute as little as possible to their both financially and emotionally to be surprised by someone suggesting they walk away from an unborn baby |
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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago
Ilkeston |
"Honestly, yes a condom would have been a good idea but also she in all honesty should also be using birth control, sounds a bit like a honey trap.
Erm, did this guy not realise what causes pregnancy?
Honestly it amazes me how many people would just run and not bother about the consequences
It doesn't amaze me. I've seen too many men and the occasional woman walk away from their partner and children without a thought for their welfare and fight tooth and nail to contribute as little as possible to their both financially and emotionally to be surprised by someone suggesting they walk away from an unborn baby "
Your right, i just couldn’t do it its not fair on the child who has no choice in the matter and has to live with poor decisions made by the person |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Two things is he sure it's is id have a test if he stops around 2nd is she local to him does she no where he lives and works if not don't keep in touch.
Why shouldn't he shoulder some of the responsibility? She didn't force him to go bareback!"
she also never said he needed to both should take blame not ideal for bringing up a child |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Two things is he sure it's is id have a test if he stops around 2nd is she local to him does she no where he lives and works if not don't keep in touch.
Why shouldn't he shoulder some of the responsibility? She didn't force him to go bareback!she also never said he needed to both should take blame not ideal for bringing up a child "
So supposing she keeps it, and it goes full term, and a paternity test proves he is the father… (three big ifs)
…Are you suggesting he should still do a runner? He shares half the blame. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"She’s symptomatic and tested and confirmed after just 4 weeks, so just barely a full cycle?
That’s not impossible, but given how this meet was arranged and went down, I’d be cynical that this was his.
If she’s keeping it, I’d want a paternity test."
If they met 4 weeks ago then she would have had to be ovulating then which would make her about 6 weeks pregnant. |
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"Honestly, yes a condom would have been a good idea but also she in all honesty should also be using birth control, sounds a bit like a honey trap. "
So he's okay with risk of STIs but the woman should be on the pill? |
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"Two things is he sure it's is id have a test if he stops around 2nd is she local to him does she no where he lives and works if not don't keep in touch.
Why shouldn't he shoulder some of the responsibility? She didn't force him to go bareback!she also never said he needed to both should take blame not ideal for bringing up a child "
He cannot make that decision for himself?
I've been in a situation I've stated condom and the guy beg entry, while trying! Even at a club.  |
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"She’s symptomatic and tested and confirmed after just 4 weeks, so just barely a full cycle?
That’s not impossible, but given how this meet was arranged and went down, I’d be cynical that this was his.
If she’s keeping it, I’d want a paternity test.
If they met 4 weeks ago then she would have had to be ovulating then which would make her about 6 weeks pregnant. "
Don't confuse the men , they'll say it wasn't his. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's not his.
Tell him to dump her and sever all contact.
She's the type his mother told him to avoid.
I'd get banned if I typed my thoughts, so... "
Me too! Some of the replies are shocking! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d erm, get him to go and get tested for STI’s etc. I’d suggest sending him there to ask for some safe sex advice too, the guy is an idiot.
Also, if she’s being that reckless on here, it’s not her first bareback so I’m putting a fiver on an infection |
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"I’d erm, get him to go and get tested for STI’s etc. I’d suggest sending him there to ask for some safe sex advice too, the guy is an idiot.
Also, if she’s being that reckless on here, it’s not her first bareback so I’m putting a fiver on an infection"
Which one are you betting has the infection because he was equally reckless. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s amazing how many men on here don’t know how pregnancy and period cycles work."
At school they always told us that we would get pregnant if we sat on the radiators (not sure how that works, especially for a man).
Thinking that maybe I need some lessons. Free all weekend  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s amazing how many men on here don’t know how pregnancy and period cycles work."
I didn't know you had to cycle. Maybe if they used stabilisers it might not have happened. |
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"I’d erm, get him to go and get tested for STI’s etc. I’d suggest sending him there to ask for some safe sex advice too, the guy is an idiot.
Also, if she’s being that reckless on here, it’s not her first bareback so I’m putting a fiver on an infection"
I bet it isn't his first bareback either. The poor woman is getting a right slating. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I’d erm, get him to go and get tested for STI’s etc. I’d suggest sending him there to ask for some safe sex advice too, the guy is an idiot.
Also, if she’s being that reckless on here, it’s not her first bareback so I’m putting a fiver on an infection"
I hope he hasn't given her anything that could harm the baby. |
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"I’d erm, get him to go and get tested for STI’s etc. I’d suggest sending him there to ask for some safe sex advice too, the guy is an idiot.
Also, if she’s being that reckless on here, it’s not her first bareback so I’m putting a fiver on an infection
I hope he hasn't given her anything that could harm the baby."
Me too after all if he's being that reckless on here he's probably got an infection.
Honestly I really thought we'd moved on from 1950 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’d erm, get him to go and get tested for STI’s etc. I’d suggest sending him there to ask for some safe sex advice too, the guy is an idiot.
Also, if she’s being that reckless on here, it’s not her first bareback so I’m putting a fiver on an infection
I bet it isn't his first bareback either. The poor woman is getting a right slating."
Both sound as bad as each other. He should definitely get tested for STIs and ask her for a DNA test. It sounds like something off the old Jeremy Kyle show. |
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"It's not his.
Tell him to dump her and sever all contact.
She's the type his mother told him to avoid.
I'd get banned if I typed my thoughts, so...
Me too! Some of the replies are shocking!"
Some of the replies are absolutely what I expect because they're what were said to me when I became pregnant with my son. I got ALLLLLLLLLLL the names thrown at me. Father did not get a solitary negative thing said to him about it. It's the never ending gift of misogyny that keeps on giving [specifically, where women who fall pregnant are the harlot/slag etc and are held to blame while the man could simply walk away, never to be seen again/should suspect foul play etc] |
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