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An arrogant gentleman who displays ignorance too?
I went to a spa with a guy yesterday before we met up he said I am welcome to go off and speak with others don't feel to stick by him because of feeling like I have to so I explained to him if I am invited out with a person I don't wonder off and spend time talking to others it's bad manners but if I go somewhere alone then I would be the lone wolf I am
Anyway we went to the spa and had a lovely time, he gave me money to get a cab home
Today he messages me to say if I agree to stick around it's not bad manners but he doesn't want a person stood next to him because they feel inclined to it's bad manners to him.
He even said if I went off with other guys he would think I traded a Lamborghini for a Ford |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A knobhead at its finest.
If I agree to attend somewhere with that person I also wouldn't dissapear on them.
Mingle yes, chat to others, but I'd always include that person.
Sounds like they have the issues not you. |
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"An arrogant gentleman who displays ignorance too?
I went to a spa with a guy yesterday before we met up he said I am welcome to go off and speak with others don't feel to stick by him because of feeling like I have to so I explained to him if I am invited out with a person I don't wonder off and spend time talking to others it's bad manners but if I go somewhere alone then I would be the lone wolf I am
Anyway we went to the spa and had a lovely time, he gave me money to get a cab home
Today he messages me to say if I agree to stick around it's not bad manners but he doesn't want a person stood next to him because they feel inclined to it's bad manners to him.
He even said if I went off with other guys he would think I traded a Lamborghini for a Ford "
I think he sounds very insecure |
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Applause to you all :D thank you he was telling me to compose myself but dismissing what impact his words has carried.
I told him I'm very perspective and also mindful. I can be blunt but have learnt I don't always have to be.
Its how the truth is delivered and he was going on about how he is not responsible for how I interpret something when he was not being malicious
Isn't that a form of mind games? |
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"I wouldn't call it a good idea to start a thread about him"
Its not everyday I come across gentleman who are arrogant.
His name is not mentioned here, you can't tell others what to do. Threads are started off many topics if you saw the point for the thread you would be less reluctant on telling me what to do |
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"Did he use you to get in as a couple, then want to flirt elsewhere, do you think?"
It was our first time there and first time meeting up in person. We stuck around each other but he was telling me about an Italian lady who kept staring us
We both felt it was odd of her and I smiled at her previously but she didn't smile back
He went on to say she must be feeling some type of way as she is naked and not one guy has gone up to her of course she would want to have a chance with me
I brushed that comment off but it's the fact of him saying to me he would rather I looked elsewhere if I feel to stick around him because I feel inclined to and was saying he is the option not an option.
To me its not nice to make a person feel uncomfortable and make them have to reassure you they do want to be around you. They shouldn't have to constantly voice it when their actions show they are happy to be around you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I kind of get what he's saying. When you attend a place with someone there is this obligation to stay together which can be uncomfortable if one of you wants to branch out a little bit and talk to others. As long as everyone is on the same page though, there shouldn't be an issue. |
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"I kind of get what he's saying. When you attend a place with someone there is this obligation to stay together which can be uncomfortable if one of you wants to branch out a little bit and talk to others. As long as everyone is on the same page though, there shouldn't be an issue."
Me and him discussed it all already before we met and I told him that's not me as a person but I wouldn't be offended if he mingled with others.
My post is more to do with his arrogance where he compared himself to a lamborghini saying he didn't think I would trade it for a Ford looking type of guy
Yet he was a gentleman yesterday to give me money so I could get myself home safely.
Its not often I come across that so it's made me bring it to the forums because perhaps there is others who have experienced what I just did |
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"A knobhead at its finest.
If I agree to attend somewhere with that person I also wouldn't dissapear on them.
Mingle yes, chat to others, but I'd always include that person.
Sounds like they have the issues not you. "
Exactly this xx |
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"A cunt who thinks you should do what he tells you to do! "
Yes 100% when we first spoke he advised I did a breast picture and reminded me of it at the spa
I don't like to read into things but there was a hidden message I missed but that's because I like to see the good in others it's ashame most don't show their good traits xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Applause to you all :D thank you he was telling me to compose myself but dismissing what impact his words has carried.
Its how the truth is delivered and he was going on about how he is not responsible for how I interpret something when he was not being malicious
Isn't that a form of mind games?"
Bingo. You just found yourself a narcissist (and you’ve spotted the very slight mask slip). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Did he use you to get in as a couple, then want to flirt elsewhere, do you think?
It was our first time there and first time meeting up in person. We stuck around each other but he was telling me about an Italian lady who kept staring us
We both felt it was odd of her and I smiled at her previously but she didn't smile back
He went on to say she must be feeling some type of way as she is naked and not one guy has gone up to her of course she would want to have a chance with me
I brushed that comment off but it's the fact of him saying to me he would rather I looked elsewhere if I feel to stick around him because I feel inclined to and was saying he is the option not an option.
To me its not nice to make a person feel uncomfortable and make them have to reassure you they do want to be around you. They shouldn't have to constantly voice it when their actions show they are happy to be around you."
So he was basically hopeful that you'd go speak to women to secure him a threesome perhaps?  |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I was under the impression if you went somewhere as a couple you couldn't go off alone.
Or is that just in particular clubs.
He may have used you to get in cheaper, and wanted to look for other women. |
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"Sounds like a failure to communicate and some bruised ego. Either way its done and you had a nice day and a cab home.next."
That's right
I thanked him for a nice time at the spa and the money to get back safely in a cab but had to leave him be |
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"Applause to you all :D thank you he was telling me to compose myself but dismissing what impact his words has carried.
Its how the truth is delivered and he was going on about how he is not responsible for how I interpret something when he was not being malicious
Isn't that a form of mind games?
Bingo. You just found yourself a narcissist (and you’ve spotted the very slight mask slip). "
This is very true
I said to him I'm quite mindful in how I communicate so it doesn't come over wrong and he asked so your only mindful when it suits you?
:/ looool who is mindful after someone tries putting words in another person's mouth and is just so arrogant and ignorant that's a huge red flag |
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"Did he use you to get in as a couple, then want to flirt elsewhere, do you think?
It was our first time there and first time meeting up in person. We stuck around each other but he was telling me about an Italian lady who kept staring us
We both felt it was odd of her and I smiled at her previously but she didn't smile back
He went on to say she must be feeling some type of way as she is naked and not one guy has gone up to her of course she would want to have a chance with me
I brushed that comment off but it's the fact of him saying to me he would rather I looked elsewhere if I feel to stick around him because I feel inclined to and was saying he is the option not an option.
To me its not nice to make a person feel uncomfortable and make them have to reassure you they do want to be around you. They shouldn't have to constantly voice it when their actions show they are happy to be around you.
So he was basically hopeful that you'd go speak to women to secure him a threesome perhaps? "
No he just wanted a pretty lady to go into the spa with
Biggest sly user I have ever met |
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"I was under the impression if you went somewhere as a couple you couldn't go off alone.
Or is that just in particular clubs.
He may have used you to get in cheaper, and wanted to look for other women."
Exactly same principle I have and will always have
He would have had to pay the same price if he went alone so he just used me as like some trophy on his arm
Yuck |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
"Yes he did give off strong control freak energy and did me a favour blocking me.
The constant reassurance was icky"
Did you not pick any of this up prior to meeting him?
We don't chat much before meeting someone (socially) but can usually spot narcissistic behaviour from their profile or from a couple of messages, and the funny thing is we (my wife and I) always come to the same conclusions. K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes he did give off strong control freak energy and did me a favour blocking me.
The constant reassurance was icky"
So, maybe he blocked you as he wasn't that into the time spent together either? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes he did give off strong control freak energy and did me a favour blocking me.
The constant reassurance was icky
So, maybe he blocked you as he wasn't that into the time spent together either? "
Why the favour? You're saying you weren't that enamored with the meet. But he clearly doesn't want a repeat either? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds like a failure to communicate and some bruised ego. Either way its done and you had a nice day and a cab home.next.
That's right
I thanked him for a nice time at the spa and the money to get back safely in a cab but had to leave him be "
Did you fuck him? |
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To be fair, it sounds like he is lacking in confidence and maybe felt that he was cramping your style. You saying that you would stay with him because of manners suggested to him that you ONLY stayed with him as you felt obliged to do so, Not because you wanted too.
I'm not saying that he was right, just expressing how it seems he was probably thinking/feeling.
Cal |
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"Yes he did give off strong control freak energy and did me a favour blocking me.
The constant reassurance was icky
Did you not pick any of this up prior to meeting him?
We don't chat much before meeting someone (socially) but can usually spot narcissistic behaviour from their profile or from a couple of messages, and the funny thing is we (my wife and I) always come to the same conclusions. K"
I'm very observant, he didn't display it in an obvious way. I don’t like to read into things too much and carry assumptions. Being observant from what a person shows is enough for me 
Nothing was losses from the experience of meeting him, I was shown his narcissism once I met him so it wasn't time wasted for me as I learnt how he is and have blocked him moved away.
I brought it to forums as I have not had that experience before with a guy should say boy really lool xx |
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"Yes he did give off strong control freak energy and did me a favour blocking me.
The constant reassurance was icky
So, maybe he blocked you as he wasn't that into the time spent together either? "
He thanked me for good company next day actually.
He did me a favour by blocking me also as he didn't like that I saw what he showed me  means he can no longer contact me so of course its a huge favour |
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"Sounds like a failure to communicate and some bruised ego. Either way its done and you had a nice day and a cab home.next.
That's right
I thanked him for a nice time at the spa and the money to get back safely in a cab but had to leave him be
Did you fuck him?"
Thankfully no
I like to becareful who I exchange energies with xx |
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"Well there’s always one cunt who thinks he’s a Lamborghini when he’s really a 3 wheeled morris minor with an engine history problem & gilts to the far left! "
To me from what his actions displayed he's a bicycle that cam keep on pedalling.
Absolutely is carrying a lot of past problems with him but that's for him to carry not me.
I can't stand arrogant people and ignorance which is very strong in society.
I'll take positive over negative and good energy all day everyday.
Most are confused to what positive actually means also which is for them to learn not I
He already knows my view on his spoken words and behaviours.xx |
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"To be fair, it sounds like he is lacking in confidence and maybe felt that he was cramping your style. You saying that you would stay with him because of manners suggested to him that you ONLY stayed with him as you felt obliged to do so, Not because you wanted too.
I'm not saying that he was right, just expressing how it seems he was probably thinking/feeling.
Cal"
Cal you have read what I wrote wrong.
I said to him and I would say so here, I don't do anything that I feel forced to do. No one makes me feel obligated to do anything
He invited me to a spa and I agrees to go
If he felt it would cramp my style why would he ask ?
I'm speaking on an experience that recently happened to me you can't try manipulate a situation you was not part of, the only option is take on board what was is said or leave it.
Never would I tell a person on a thread maybe they did something because of XYZ we are grown people on here who should be treated as having a level of their own intelligence Thank you |
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"To be fair, it sounds like he is lacking in confidence and maybe felt that he was cramping your style. You saying that you would stay with him because of manners suggested to him that you ONLY stayed with him as you felt obliged to do so, Not because you wanted too.
I'm not saying that he was right, just expressing how it seems he was probably thinking/feeling.
Cal
------
Cal you have read what I wrote wrong.
I said to him and I would say so here, I don't do anything that I feel forced to do. No one makes me feel obligated to do anything
He invited me to a spa and I agrees to go
If he felt it would cramp my style why would he ask ?
I'm speaking on an experience that recently happened to me you can't try manipulate a situation you was not part of, the only option is take on board what was is said or leave it.
Never would I tell a person on a thread maybe they did something because of XYZ we are grown people on here who should be treated as having a level of their own intelligence Thank you "
I don't think I've read it wrong, I just think that what he thinks and what you think about the situation are different... I could be wrong.
You don't feel obligated, but he feels as though you do feel obligated.
As I said previously, I'm saying that he is right, just that it seems likely that he was feeling that way.
Obviously, I can only go on what you've written, but that's how it reads to me.
It's also possible, that he might have liked to see you go off with others... but didn't want to express that?
Cal |
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"To be fair, it sounds like he is lacking in confidence and maybe felt that he was cramping your style. You saying that you would stay with him because of manners suggested to him that you ONLY stayed with him as you felt obliged to do so, Not because you wanted too.
I'm not saying that he was right, just expressing how it seems he was probably thinking/feeling.
Cal
------
Cal you have read what I wrote wrong.
I said to him and I would say so here, I don't do anything that I feel forced to do. No one makes me feel obligated to do anything
He invited me to a spa and I agrees to go
If he felt it would cramp my style why would he ask ?
I'm speaking on an experience that recently happened to me you can't try manipulate a situation you was not part of, the only option is take on board what was is said or leave it.
Never would I tell a person on a thread maybe they did something because of XYZ we are grown people on here who should be treated as having a level of their own intelligence Thank you
I don't think I've read it wrong, I just think that what he thinks and what you think about the situation are different... I could be wrong.
You don't feel obligated, but he feels as though you do feel obligated.
As I said previously, I'm saying that he is right, just that it seems likely that he was feeling that way.
Obviously, I can only go on what you've written, but that's how it reads to me.
It's also possible, that he might have liked to see you go off with others... but didn't want to express that?
Cal"
Cal
Your not making sense here
1 I'm not a mind reader neither should be treated as one. No one should
2 He and I discussed the freedom we gave each other to part and mingle with others if we wished to do so prior to arriving at the place
3 As said he thanked me for good company so we both thought the same of the situation. We had somewhat of a nice time until the next day he speaks over what was discussed and settled already
He has issues from his past that he will constantly bring over into his present and possibly future
I don't dwell on past issues from however many months or years ago. I heal from those things learn to accept what I can not change and have courage and wisdom to make a better way for myself.
I don't have to carry another's trauma they are dealing with or thier shit they give me and I certainly don't give shit to others.
I take no BS and give no BS that's me
Only narcissistic people do that, they pick people up for their own satisfaction self gratitude and drop them because of the person's reactions to their BS
There is a reaction for every action even walking away with out speaking anything messaging anything is a reaction |
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"To be fair, it sounds like he is lacking in confidence and maybe felt that he was cramping your style. You saying that you would stay with him because of manners suggested to him that you ONLY stayed with him as you felt obliged to do so, Not because you wanted too.
I'm not saying that he was right, just expressing how it seems he was probably thinking/feeling.
Cal
------
Cal you have read what I wrote wrong.
I said to him and I would say so here, I don't do anything that I feel forced to do. No one makes me feel obligated to do anything
He invited me to a spa and I agrees to go
If he felt it would cramp my style why would he ask ?
I'm speaking on an experience that recently happened to me you can't try manipulate a situation you was not part of, the only option is take on board what was is said or leave it.
Never would I tell a person on a thread maybe they did something because of XYZ we are grown people on here who should be treated as having a level of their own intelligence Thank you
I don't think I've read it wrong, I just think that what he thinks and what you think about the situation are different... I could be wrong.
You don't feel obligated, but he feels as though you do feel obligated.
As I said previously, I'm saying that he is right, just that it seems likely that he was feeling that way.
Obviously, I can only go on what you've written, but that's how it reads to me.
It's also possible, that he might have liked to see you go off with others... but didn't want to express that?
Cal
Cal
Your not making sense here
1 I'm not a mind reader neither should be treated as one. No one should
2 He and I discussed the freedom we gave each other to part and mingle with others if we wished to do so prior to arriving at the place
3 As said he thanked me for good company so we both thought the same of the situation. We had somewhat of a nice time until the next day he speaks over what was discussed and settled already
He has issues from his past that he will constantly bring over into his present and possibly future
I don't dwell on past issues from however many months or years ago. I heal from those things learn to accept what I can not change and have courage and wisdom to make a better way for myself.
I don't have to carry another's trauma they are dealing with or thier shit they give me and I certainly don't give shit to others.
I take no BS and give no BS that's me
Only narcissistic people do that, they pick people up for their own satisfaction self gratitude and drop them because of the person's reactions to their BS
There is a reaction for every action even walking away with out speaking anything messaging anything is a reaction "
I'm basing my opinion on what you wrote that he said.
"
he doesn't want a person stood next to him because they feel inclined" - which makes it sound as HE feels like you only stayed with him because you felt you should.
"He even said if I went off with other guys he would think I traded a Lamborghini for a Ford" - which to me sounds like he feels as though he is a lesser option than others. (He is the Ford not the Lambo.)
I'm not suggesting that YOU have done anything wrong, just that it sounds to ME as though his comments are meant differently to how you perceived them... one of the problems with messages is that they their "tone" is not necessarily obvious.
Cal |
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"To be fair, it sounds like he is lacking in confidence and maybe felt that he was cramping your style. You saying that you would stay with him because of manners suggested to him that you ONLY stayed with him as you felt obliged to do so, Not because you wanted too.
I'm not saying that he was right, just expressing how it seems he was probably thinking/feeling.
Cal
------
Cal you have read what I wrote wrong.
I said to him and I would say so here, I don't do anything that I feel forced to do. No one makes me feel obligated to do anything
He invited me to a spa and I agrees to go
If he felt it would cramp my style why would he ask ?
I'm speaking on an experience that recently happened to me you can't try manipulate a situation you was not part of, the only option is take on board what was is said or leave it.
Never would I tell a person on a thread maybe they did something because of XYZ we are grown people on here who should be treated as having a level of their own intelligence Thank you
I don't think I've read it wrong, I just think that what he thinks and what you think about the situation are different... I could be wrong.
You don't feel obligated, but he feels as though you do feel obligated.
As I said previously, I'm saying that he is right, just that it seems likely that he was feeling that way.
Obviously, I can only go on what you've written, but that's how it reads to me.
It's also possible, that he might have liked to see you go off with others... but didn't want to express that?
Cal
Cal
Your not making sense here
1 I'm not a mind reader neither should be treated as one. No one should
2 He and I discussed the freedom we gave each other to part and mingle with others if we wished to do so prior to arriving at the place
3 As said he thanked me for good company so we both thought the same of the situation. We had somewhat of a nice time until the next day he speaks over what was discussed and settled already
He has issues from his past that he will constantly bring over into his present and possibly future
I don't dwell on past issues from however many months or years ago. I heal from those things learn to accept what I can not change and have courage and wisdom to make a better way for myself.
I don't have to carry another's trauma they are dealing with or thier shit they give me and I certainly don't give shit to others.
I take no BS and give no BS that's me
Only narcissistic people do that, they pick people up for their own satisfaction self gratitude and drop them because of the person's reactions to their BS
There is a reaction for every action even walking away with out speaking anything messaging anything is a reaction
I'm basing my opinion on what you wrote that he said.
"
he doesn't want a person stood next to him because they feel inclined" - which makes it sound as HE feels like you only stayed with him because you felt you should.
"He even said if I went off with other guys he would think I traded a Lamborghini for a Ford" - which to me sounds like he feels as though he is a lesser option than others. (He is the Ford not the Lambo.)
I'm not suggesting that YOU have done anything wrong, just that it sounds to ME as though his comments are meant differently to how you perceived them... one of the problems with messages is that they their "tone" is not necessarily obvious.
Cal"
I have gained further understanding to your point but me and the guy had the conversation about mingling with others before we met and I said I don't that in general it's not in my nature
He was comparing himself as The sports cat not the Ford
I can confirm that I discerned that as he was already making negatives comments about a larger lady's size where he said if you look at her compared to me of course she would want a chance
That's sheer ignorance xxx |
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