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is this person narcissistic?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Can somebody tell me if this person is narcissistic, wants to be in control? this person knows I don't answer the phone after a certain time in the evening but always calls me at that time or after that time.
I've asked this person please don't call me after a certain time and they've acknowledged that they understood what I said. But still, continue to call me even when I ignore it. if I answer the phone the conversation is 1 sided and it's always repetitive. The same subject and moans every time.
If this person leaves a message The first sentence is oh I forgot you don't answer the phone at a certain time (Giggle giggle) then fill up my answer machine with a repetitive message.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Airplane mode is useful ....
There's a lot more to narcissistic behaviour. The person you refer to isn't respecting your wishes/boundaries despite them claiming to! |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Can somebody tell me if this person is narcissistic, wants to be in control? this person knows I don't answer the phone after a certain time in the evening but always calls me at that time or after that time.
I've asked this person please don't call me after a certain time and they've acknowledged that they understood what I said. But still, continue to call me even when I ignore it. if I answer the phone the conversation is 1 sided and it's always repetitive. The same subject and moans every time.
If this person leaves a message The first sentence is oh I forgot you don't answer the phone at a certain time (Giggle giggle) then fill up my answer machine with a repetitive message.
"
I wouldn't jump to narcissism but they're definitely intentionally seeing if they can push your clearly stated boundaries.
What have you to lose by directly confronting them? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Eh, I'm not sure any of us could give her that label without being an expert on narcs and knowing more information, and even then, we are not professionals. O.o
I guess you have to ask yourself does this person deserve to be a part of your life? Sounds pretty disrespectful to me, but you've got to weigh up if she's worth it or not. |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
They are not respecting you and don't deserve your time. I would switch my phone off and not have it go to answering machine. If you don't want calls after a certain time then you shouldn't have them. |
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By *ickD80Man
over a year ago
Wolverhampton |
It seems like this person likes to chat after a certain time in the evening, maybe that’s the only time they have free to chat…., but you don’t like to chat after a certain time in the evening. This person phones you after a certain time in the evening even though they know you don’t answer your phone after a certain time in the evening, you have told this person not to phone you after a certain time in the evening even though you know this person likes to chat after a certain time in the evening. So you’re accusing this person of being narcissistic and controlling because they phone you when you’ve told them you don’t answer the phone but you’ve told them not to phone you at the time when you know they want to chat….so before accusing other people of being narcissistic and controlling I think you should look at your own actions and consider whether you’re being narcissistic and controlling. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They are being a twat and you are not enforcing your boundaries so are enabling their behaviourto continue.
You can't change their behaviour .... and clearly asking them not to call hasnt changed their behaviou ......but you can control your reaction and what you do.
So it's your choice .... you can change the situation ... but do you really want to? |
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The person is repeatedly calling you beyond a stated time you have asked not to be called.
There is a lot to unpack here.
1. They are exercising control over you. This is a dominance play.
2. They call you on or very close to the stated time. They know that at this time you are likely to be anxious and waiting for their call. They are deliberately engineering an anxious and dependent/anticipatory state in you. It's a form of remote, coercive sadism. Again, a dominant move, tinged with sadism.
3. When you answer, a normal conversation is not had. It is one sided and repetitive. Narcissistic. You will listen to them, because they have engineered it to be so. You are being conditioned and they are controlling this narrative.
4. The "giggle" is a diversionary tactic used to solicit sympathy and forgiveness and undermine your rational judgement. When babies gurgle, parents coo and ahh. It's a form of conditioning and control. The subject's reversion to child-like behaviour is a red flag that their grip on reality is tenuous at best. However it may not be that at all, if the giggling is deliberate, in which case it is highly-developed and finely honed manipulation.
If you'd said you were playing a D\s game, this would all make sense. If it's not a game, then I'd run a mile.
Whatever it is, I wish you well. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't turn your phone off. That's nonsense. If you do that then it restricts you and everyone else. Just block them. "
Mainly this, if it’s someone you really don’t want/need to respond to block x |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"They are being a twat and you are not enforcing your boundaries so are enabling their behaviourto continue.
You can't change their behaviour .... and clearly asking them not to call hasnt changed their behaviou ......but you can control your reaction and what you do.
So it's your choice .... you can change the situation ... but do you really want to?"
Yep pretty much this. You're allowing it to continue for some reason even though you say you don't like it happening.
I know if someone did it to me I'd block them or have my phone on do not disturb like I do every night after a certain time with only a handful of numbers who are allowed to get through in case of an emergency.And their number would not be on the list.
By allowing them to continue to get through you are enabling the behaviour so you need to look at why are you doing this. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Over used word of the time is over used.
Also trying to apply diagnostic criteria in such a limited and biased way, also over used.
If you are unhappy though, cut ties.
That is actually enough of a reason too. No need for the current zeitgeist or popular nomenclature to justify it, let alone public opinion.
You're unhappy enough to ask, that's indicative. So do it. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Can somebody tell me if this person is narcissistic, wants to be in control? this person knows I don't answer the phone after a certain time in the evening but always calls me at that time or after that time.
I've asked this person please don't call me after a certain time and they've acknowledged that they understood what I said. But still, continue to call me even when I ignore it. if I answer the phone the conversation is 1 sided and it's always repetitive. The same subject and moans every time.
If this person leaves a message The first sentence is oh I forgot you don't answer the phone at a certain time (Giggle giggle) then fill up my answer machine with a repetitive message.
"
Is it your mum ?
I wouldn’t say narc, possibly lonely though |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"It seems like this person likes to chat after a certain time in the evening, maybe that’s the only time they have free to chat…., but you don’t like to chat after a certain time in the evening. This person phones you after a certain time in the evening even though they know you don’t answer your phone after a certain time in the evening, you have told this person not to phone you after a certain time in the evening even though you know this person likes to chat after a certain time in the evening. So you’re accusing this person of being narcissistic and controlling because they phone you when you’ve told them you don’t answer the phone but you’ve told them not to phone you at the time when you know they want to chat….so before accusing other people of being narcissistic and controlling I think you should look at your own actions and consider whether you’re being narcissistic and controlling. "
That’s exactly what I thought on first read but didn’t want to be mean .  |
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I'd cut contact and block OP
They are disrespectful of a boundary you have, that would be an instant "fuck Off" from me, if they kept ringing when I'd asked them not to, like when I'm putting the kids to bed....
Plenty more fish in the sea  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can somebody tell me if this person is narcissistic, wants to be in control? this person knows I don't answer the phone after a certain time in the evening but always calls me at that time or after that time.
I've asked this person please don't call me after a certain time and they've acknowledged that they understood what I said. But still, continue to call me even when I ignore it. if I answer the phone the conversation is 1 sided and it's always repetitive. The same subject and moans every time.
If this person leaves a message The first sentence is oh I forgot you don't answer the phone at a certain time (Giggle giggle) then fill up my answer machine with a repetitive message.
"
I have the BT phone that vets calls. You can accept once, all time or block. That way once you put their number in phone they cannot get through, ever. 74 pounds for 3 handsets. BT callblocker |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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All of you berating this poor person are mean. This person clearly suffers from a medical condition.
Based on my knowledge, the medical term is "massivus bellendus" and it seems they also suffer from "boundarius disrespectus".
There is no cure, unfortunately. All you can do is deal with the symptoms. Block the calls. Delete the number. And move on |
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No O.P. I don't think they are narcissistic simply because they phoned after your boundary time.
In fact I am tired of people being labelled incorrectly for simply not liking the same food as someone else and similar.
My phone is set to go to Do Not Disturb at 22.00 hours until 07.00 hours.
My family know to ring the land line if there is an emergency between those times.
Using my phone settings means that I don't get disturbed between those hours and I don't have to beg, plead, get frustrated with or alienate others.
I CONTROL my phone .......... does that make me a narcissist ? Not in my book.
Use your settings or own the times you get disturbed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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OP, I'm not sure you'll find the answer here, your post is quite vague, and with not much to go off, nobody can say yay or nay.
I'm happy to chat, if you feel that can help, maybe get things off your chest or seek another perspective.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Can somebody tell me if this person is narcissistic, wants to be in control? this person knows I don't answer the phone after a certain time in the evening but always calls me at that time or after that time.
I've asked this person please don't call me after a certain time and they've acknowledged that they understood what I said. But still, continue to call me even when I ignore it. if I answer the phone the conversation is 1 sided and it's always repetitive. The same subject and moans every time.
If this person leaves a message The first sentence is oh I forgot you don't answer the phone at a certain time (Giggle giggle) then fill up my answer machine with a repetitive message.
"
Either put do not disturb on your phone like I have it tell them to fuck off  |
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