FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > How would you feel if your partner had sex with someone else without your permission?
How would you feel if your partner had sex with someone else without your permission?
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I don't really see sex as something I need to give permission for.
As long as I have a heads up in terms of changing risk profiles for stds and I'm not being neglected for the sake of the new person, it's all good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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to me, it's absolutely was still cheating, and it absolutely was the beginning of the end, in terms of his position within my life.
never letting that happen again. Px  |
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By *obbo2022Man
over a year ago
little town near bishop |
That's how me and my ex split.
We had been swinging for years together.
Came home from work early caught her bent over being fucked by my best mate.
I went mental as you would.
There is a line and she crossed that line.
Not that she was not allowed to pick her guys we had a strict no friends rule.
Later found out she was having a affair with him for over 2 years hence why she is now my ex. |
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It's clearly a huge issue here and in general- how many times have I been messaged by couples who shall remain nameless and the mail boils down to 'it's just the male half today'!
So many people- both male and female- use swinging and kink as a charade, a masqerade, a cover, an excuse to control people, justify their own behaviour and to push boundaries and act like utter shits toward partners.
I know, it happened to me and it won't happen again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We're open so don't really need permission if things happen naturally with people without each others knowledge. If he didn't tell me afterwards though, I'd find that a bit wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes it's still cheating and I'd be furious, to be fair it would be the end of things, this lifestyle requires trust and communication once that's gone there's no going back.
Mrs "
Exactly what this person said.. Behind back is cheating n trust be gone, I wouldn't continue the relationship if cheated on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That's how me and my ex split.
We had been swinging for years together.
Came home from work early caught her bent over being fucked by my best mate.
I went mental as you would.
There is a line and she crossed that line.
Not that she was not allowed to pick her guys we had a strict no friends rule.
Later found out she was having a affair with him for over 2 years hence why she is now my ex."
Wow.. Sounds like u got a gd exit, she'd not change if u forgave her, she'd of continued n ur trust be lost.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sex is sex.
That's not the issue.
The fact it was done behind my back would be what I had the problem with. The trust would have been broken and without that trust there's no relationship for me.
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That’s the great thing about real trust and respect in a relationship, it would never happen. Bonnie would always send me pictures and a video if you hooked up with anyone |
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By *_J111Woman
over a year ago
home |
If it was behind my back and is against the agreements that we have discussed (not at a club where I know they are going and will probably play with others) then it's cheating and I would response accordingly
MJ |
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By *ruceyyMan
over a year ago
London |
It's happened to me before and I didn't mind. Whether I wasn't emotionally invested anymore I don't know but to me, sex is sex and can be absolutely nothing to do with any form of romance so I'd be ok with it. |
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By *lueFireCouple
over a year ago
just somewhere around here |
"That's how me and my ex split.
We had been swinging for years together.
Came home from work early caught her bent over being fucked by my best mate.
I went mental as you would.
There is a line and she crossed that line.
Not that she was not allowed to pick her guys we had a strict no friends rule.
Later found out she was having a affair with him for over 2 years hence why she is now my ex."
Sounds familiar ( in a past life) |
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"Needing permission" suggests ownership. Nobody owns anyone else. In the context of swinging,"giving permission" is another way of saying.. Lets review our agreements... I'd hate to be denied permission to do something, I love my freedom too much. I don't think I could be in a relationship where the other partner controlled my freedom, by granting or witholding permission. I can understand this is contentious, hence, we make agreements(in swinging) to behave in an agreed way. For me, with an agreement in place, there would be no need for "permission" to be requested, agreed or denied. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I don't really see sex as something I need to give permission for.
As long as I have a heads up in terms of changing risk profiles for stds and I'm not being neglected for the sake of the new person, it's all good. "
Yep this. If they lied or deliberately hid it, I'd be a little bit hurt. But they're not mine to control, I just hope and believe our relationship is good and close enough there'd be that level of honesty. |
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If I didn't know about it then I'd be furious, we discuss and change our boundaries if it's wanted/needed by either of us so to go behind my back to break our very flexible boundaries would be about the only thing that would class as cheating.
Luckily we have a great relationship and communication that works for us. |
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I think that regardless of the couple’s dynamics , whether prior permission is required or not , if lies are used to cover the deed/encounter then it’s cheating … And that’s unacceptable in my eyes, quite soul breaking . |
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We have agreed we can both fuck other people together or alone. The 1 rule is communication if 1 of us gets off with someone while out and decide to sleep with them, the agreement is we text so the other is aware before it happens |
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"Permission is a strong term.
Are you still in the age of ownership, where you decide what your partner can do?
Agreement is a term which I prefer. "
Think permission is actually the right term to use, it's not a contract 
I've never heard anyone say I have a agreement with my partner to sleep with other people, it's always been I have permission as that's what it is |
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By *mrmarkMan
over a year ago
tavistock |
My partner goes away every so often with her old group of friends. All ladies. They all play with each other and sometimes invite guys to join them. I'm not to know but do and it fine by me. I do so she can too. |
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By *obbo2022Man
over a year ago
little town near bishop |
"That's how me and my ex split.
We had been swinging for years together.
Came home from work early caught her bent over being fucked by my best mate.
I went mental as you would.
There is a line and she crossed that line.
Not that she was not allowed to pick her guys we had a strict no friends rule.
Later found out she was having a affair with him for over 2 years hence why she is now my ex.
Wow.. Sounds like u got a gd exit, she'd not change if u forgave her, she'd of continued n ur trust be lost.. "
She lost more than me house car and most of our swinging friends.
Trust was lost I could never forgive 24 years down the drain.
Hey ho moved on life's to short |
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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago
for a penny |
"Permission is a strong term.
Are you still in the age of ownership, where you decide what your partner can do?
Agreement is a term which I prefer.
Think permission is actually the right term to use, it's not a contract
I've never heard anyone say I have a agreement with my partner to sleep with other people, it's always been I have permission as that's what it is"
How many people tell you they have permission?
Just because people don’t phone you to tell you they have agreed something with their partner doesn’t mean it hasn’t happened.
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"We don't need each others permission but we are always honest with each other, no secrets, no lies....that's swinging. "
As it should be. Communication is everything, honesty is key even if both parties have differing desires. Everyone has their own kinks and should be able to support each other and encourage not sneak around putting the other party at unnecessary risk |
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I believe the missus has autonomy and ownership of her own body, not me. How she exercises that autonomy is her choice, not mine. So long as it's safe, sane and consensual, it's none of my business. |
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