FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Am I really that bad?
Am I really that bad?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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This is going to sound like ‘poor old me’ but I going to put it out there anyway lol
I’ve been on here a few weeks now, sent loads of messages expressing interest to various couples and single ladies and very rarely get any kind of response. I consider my messages well put together, fun and including a recent face picture( I don’t consider myself a fugly) I never send a cock picture unless requested.
I’ve received winks, but once I reply I get deleted without any explanation. Whilst I appreciate it each to their own and I have no real expectation of people, but I must admit to being a little perplexed.
Am I really that bad? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Welcome to fab as a single male. The biggest thing is understanding its not the fuckfest that everybody thinks and its probably easier to get laid on other 'swipe right' sites.
Your profile seems in the upper half and a little patience and we are sure things will pick up, it can take time to understand the site, scene and begin to click with people but one you do its rather fun.
Good luck OP. |
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"This is going to sound like ‘poor old me’ but I going to put it out there anyway lol
I’ve been on here a few weeks now, sent loads of messages expressing interest to various couples and single ladies and very rarely get any kind of response. I consider my messages well put together, fun and including a recent face picture( I don’t consider myself a fugly) I never send a cock picture unless requested.
I’ve received winks, but once I reply I get deleted without any explanation. Whilst I appreciate it each to their own and I have no real expectation of people, but I must admit to being a little perplexed.
Am I really that bad?"
It's a weird world....welcome to the sea of cock that is fab....keep swimming and bobbing along in the tide |
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I'm afraid you are simply a little fish in a big pond. Thousands of messages go from men to women every day. The numbers are not on your side. Just try to have the best profile you can and be respectful to everybody you write to so you have the best chance, but there are no guarantees on this site. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is going to sound like ‘poor old me’ but I going to put it out there anyway lol
I’ve been on here a few weeks now, sent loads of messages expressing interest to various couples and single ladies and very rarely get any kind of response. I consider my messages well put together, fun and including a recent face picture( I don’t consider myself a fugly) I never send a cock picture unless requested.
I’ve received winks, but once I reply I get deleted without any explanation. Whilst I appreciate it each to their own and I have no real expectation of people, but I must admit to being a little perplexed.
Am I really that bad?
It's a weird world....welcome to the sea of cock that is fab....keep swimming and bobbing along in the tide "
Yes OP keep swimming in a sea of cock. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unfortunately you're one of thousands of single guys on here, the majority looking for the same.
I find it difficult on here too, hence why I attend clubs and social events. I find it easier to meet people that way.
Good luck. |
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"This is going to sound like ‘poor old me’ but I going to put it out there anyway lol
I’ve been on here a few weeks now, sent loads of messages expressing interest to various couples and single ladies and very rarely get any kind of response. I consider my messages well put together, fun and including a recent face picture( I don’t consider myself a fugly) I never send a cock picture unless requested.
I’ve received winks, but once I reply I get deleted without any explanation. Whilst I appreciate it each to their own and I have no real expectation of people, but I must admit to being a little perplexed.
Am I really that bad?
It's a weird world....welcome to the sea of cock that is fab....keep swimming and bobbing along in the tide
Yes OP keep swimming in a sea of cock. "
Throw a life line |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hi
I'm sure you will get there in the end.It isn't actually easy for anyone.Have you considered do a social plenty ongoing ones listed there you can chat & it's relaxed or joining a club.x"
I think that will be my next move and thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm afraid you are simply a little fish in a big pond. Thousands of messages go from men to women every day. The numbers are not on your side. Just try to have the best profile you can and be respectful to everybody you write to so you have the best chance, but there are no guarantees on this site. "
Thank you |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Hi
I'm sure you will get there in the end.It isn't actually easy for anyone.Have you considered do a social plenty ongoing ones listed there you can chat & it's relaxed or joining a club.x
I think that will be my next move and thank you"
I'm confused.
You say you've been swinging 20 odd years and are a semi regular at a club. Surely in that time you'd have garnered an understanding of how things work? 
Your profile is less than a month old. Give it time. Or just use whatever methods you've used in those 20 years, carry visiting clubs and have less of an expectation for instant success online.
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is going to sound like ‘poor old me’ but I going to put it out there anyway lol
I’ve been on here a few weeks now, sent loads of messages expressing interest to various couples and single ladies and very rarely get any kind of response. I consider my messages well put together, fun and including a recent face picture( I don’t consider myself a fugly) I never send a cock picture unless requested.
I’ve received winks, but once I reply I get deleted without any explanation. Whilst I appreciate it each to their own and I have no real expectation of people, but I must admit to being a little perplexed.
Am I really that bad?
It's a weird world....welcome to the sea of cock that is fab....keep swimming and bobbing along in the tide
Yes OP keep swimming in a sea of cock.
Throw a life line "
That was a lifeline |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Apparently it's notoriously difficult for single guys on here. Not sure if you've asked for profile advice so won't offer any.
Don't give up!  "
Aww, thank you xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you are going to feel bad about yourself, feel bad about yourself because you believe that shit not because of fab. This place is not the only place to meet people |
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"This is going to sound like ‘poor old me’ but I going to put it out there anyway lol
I’ve been on here a few weeks now, sent loads of messages expressing interest to various couples and single ladies and very rarely get any kind of response. I consider my messages well put together, fun and including a recent face picture( I don’t consider myself a fugly) I never send a cock picture unless requested.
I’ve received winks, but once I reply I get deleted without any explanation. Whilst I appreciate it each to their own and I have no real expectation of people, but I must admit to being a little perplexed.
Am I really that bad?
It's a weird world....welcome to the sea of cock that is fab....keep swimming and bobbing along in the tide
Yes OP keep swimming in a sea of cock.
Throw a life line
That was a lifeline "
Sink or swim in this game |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Unfortunately you're one of thousands of single guys on here, the majority looking for the same.
I find it difficult on here too, hence why I attend clubs and social events. I find it easier to meet people that way.
Good luck."
Thank you xx |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You’ve just got to take it as bonus when something happens. Don’t get too discouraged just yet because it’s the nature of things on here."
Thanks mate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This is going to sound like ‘poor old me’ but I going to put it out there anyway lol
I’ve been on here a few weeks now, sent loads of messages expressing interest to various couples and single ladies and very rarely get any kind of response. I consider my messages well put together, fun and including a recent face picture( I don’t consider myself a fugly) I never send a cock picture unless requested.
I’ve received winks, but once I reply I get deleted without any explanation. Whilst I appreciate it each to their own and I have no real expectation of people, but I must admit to being a little perplexed.
Am I really that bad?
It's a weird world....welcome to the sea of cock that is fab....keep swimming and bobbing along in the tide
Yes OP keep swimming in a sea of cock.
Throw a life line
That was a lifeline
Sink or swim in this game "
Or do what I do …just float. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What were your expectations on joining the site.
You've been here 4 weeks. That's nothing.
Most single guys wait around a year to get their first meet. Some fair better, others worse.
There are over a hundred men to every woman on here and so the single ladies are in high demand and are often inundated with messages.
Whoever you message will usually check out your profile before even thinking about reading what you've sent them and as most women and a lot of couples browse in  mode, you'll know nothing about it - but trust me, they'll have looked.
If they don't like what they see, or just don't think you're for them, why should they bother to read your message?
Remember, they haven't asked you to message them, so they don't owe you a reply and the site FAQs state that a non-reply should be taken as a 'No, thank you'
You're not going to appeal to everyone. In fact you probably won't appeal to most and only a select few, and of those, you miht only be attracted to half of those.
Fab is not dial-a-shag.
People on here are not on fab for your pleasure, they're here for theirs, and just becasue they're on here doesn't mean they'll fuck anyone who asks.
In fact, it's very much like the real world.
I don't think starting up a forum thread announcing how many people you've messaged is a particularly smart move.
Think about it for a moment. You're telling everyone on the forum that you're basically spamming people out of desperation for a shag and that you'll basically shag anyone.
Now think about how that might look to those who you've been messaging. They won't think that you're necessarily interested in them personally.
Basically, I think you've just shot yourself in the foot |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What were your expectations on joining the site.
You've been here 4 weeks. That's nothing.
Most single guys wait around a year to get their first meet. Some fair better, others worse.
There are over a hundred men to every woman on here and so the single ladies are in high demand and are often inundated with messages.
Whoever you message will usually check out your profile before even thinking about reading what you've sent them and as most women and a lot of couples browse in mode, you'll know nothing about it - but trust me, they'll have looked.
If they don't like what they see, or just don't think you're for them, why should they bother to read your message?
Remember, they haven't asked you to message them, so they don't owe you a reply and the site FAQs state that a non-reply should be taken as a 'No, thank you'
You're not going to appeal to everyone. In fact you probably won't appeal to most and only a select few, and of those, you miht only be attracted to half of those.
Fab is not dial-a-shag.
People on here are not on fab for your pleasure, they're here for theirs, and just becasue they're on here doesn't mean they'll fuck anyone who asks.
In fact, it's very much like the real world.
I don't think starting up a forum thread announcing how many people you've messaged is a particularly smart move.
Think about it for a moment. You're telling everyone on the forum that you're basically spamming people out of desperation for a shag and that you'll basically shag anyone.
Now think about how that might look to those who you've been messaging. They won't think that you're necessarily interested in them personally.
Basically, I think you've just shot yourself in the foot"
Good point, thank you |
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You've been on a few weeks. You're doing okay. All good things take time. Build trust and connection and then after time you will start to make more progress. It can feel shitty but just keep ploughing along. |
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I've been here since 2019 and it's taken a long time for me to build up a amazing list of friends.
I didn't get a meet for a few months after joining and that's quick for a single guy on here.
You need to go to socials and get to know people through using the forums and not worry about if you get messages back after sending them |
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Your experience sounds standard for you single men here. It's not about being bad, just like thousands of others.
I can't see your profile to compare you to the men around Birmingham as you have hidden it. The area is full of interesting people having fun.
Get to socials and meet people. Unhide your pool profile and ask for feedback if you'd like it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is going to sound like ‘poor old me’ but I going to put it out there anyway lol
I’ve been on here a few weeks now, sent loads of messages……"
And that’s where I stop you. …
How many messages?
You’re a new person in a place that’s crowded with people already (probably) interacting.
There quite a few here like me that’s been here a while and some of us have stopped messaging the 1st message completely.
Stick around and you’ll figure what works for you and makes you happy. 
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"This is going to sound like ‘poor old me’ but I going to put it out there anyway lol
I’ve been on here a few weeks now, sent loads of messages expressing interest to various couples and single ladies and very rarely get any kind of response. I consider my messages well put together, fun and including a recent face picture( I don’t consider myself a fugly) I never send a cock picture unless requested.
I’ve received winks, but once I reply I get deleted without any explanation. Whilst I appreciate it each to their own and I have no real expectation of people, but I must admit to being a little perplexed.
Am I really that bad?"
OK.
I can't read any more of these posts...losing the will.
Get the train up and I'll pump you.
Taking one for the Fab team.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This is going to sound like ‘poor old me’ but I going to put it out there anyway lol
I’ve been on here a few weeks now, sent loads of messages expressing interest to various couples and single ladies and very rarely get any kind of response. I consider my messages well put together, fun and including a recent face picture( I don’t consider myself a fugly) I never send a cock picture unless requested.
I’ve received winks, but once I reply I get deleted without any explanation. Whilst I appreciate it each to their own and I have no real expectation of people, but I must admit to being a little perplexed.
Am I really that bad?
OK.
I can't read any more of these posts...losing the will.
Get the train up and I'll pump you.
Taking one for the Fab team. "
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This is going to sound like ‘poor old me’ but I going to put it out there anyway lol
I’ve been on here a few weeks now, sent loads of messages expressing interest to various couples and single ladies and very rarely get any kind of response. I consider my messages well put together, fun and including a recent face picture( I don’t consider myself a fugly) I never send a cock picture unless requested.
I’ve received winks, but once I reply I get deleted without any explanation. Whilst I appreciate it each to their own and I have no real expectation of people, but I must admit to being a little perplexed.
Am I really that bad?
OK.
I can't read any more of these posts...losing the will.
Get the train up and I'll pump you.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha, that cracked me up ??
Taking one for the Fab team. "
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"This is going to sound like ‘poor old me’ but I going to put it out there anyway lol
I’ve been on here a few weeks now, sent loads of messages expressing interest to various couples and single ladies and very rarely get any kind of response. I consider my messages well put together, fun and including a recent face picture( I don’t consider myself a fugly) I never send a cock picture unless requested.
I’ve received winks, but once I reply I get deleted without any explanation. Whilst I appreciate it each to their own and I have no real expectation of people, but I must admit to being a little perplexed.
Am I really that bad?
It's a weird world....welcome to the sea of cock that is fab....keep swimming and bobbing along in the tide
Yes OP keep swimming in a sea of cock.
Throw a life line
That was a lifeline
Sink or swim in this game
Or do what I do …just float. "
Buoyancy is underrated |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is going to sound like ‘poor old me’ but I going to put it out there anyway lol
I’ve been on here a few weeks now, sent loads of messages expressing interest to various couples and single ladies and very rarely get any kind of response. I consider my messages well put together, fun and including a recent face picture( I don’t consider myself a fugly) I never send a cock picture unless requested.
I’ve received winks, but once I reply I get deleted without any explanation. Whilst I appreciate it each to their own and I have no real expectation of people, but I must admit to being a little perplexed.
Am I really that bad?
It's a weird world....welcome to the sea of cock that is fab....keep swimming and bobbing along in the tide
Yes OP keep swimming in a sea of cock.
Throw a life line
That was a lifeline
Sink or swim in this game
Or do what I do …just float.
Buoyancy is underrated "
Said the rubber duck |
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You’ve not asked for profile advice but if guys have mainly cock pics on their profile instead of intriguing pics then they won’t ever stand out from the 10,000 similar single guys on here.
It’s always better to sell you not your cock.
K |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"You go to Chams... that's the easiest place to pull, compared to here for a single man, who is unverified "
I did point that out earlier but it was evidently typed in invisible ink. 
A |
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"This is going to sound like ‘poor old me’ but I going to put it out there anyway lol
I’ve been on here a few weeks now, sent loads of messages expressing interest to various couples and single ladies and very rarely get any kind of response. I consider my messages well put together, fun and including a recent face picture( I don’t consider myself a fugly) I never send a cock picture unless requested.
I’ve received winks, but once I reply I get deleted without any explanation. Whilst I appreciate it each to their own and I have no real expectation of people, but I must admit to being a little perplexed.
Am I really that bad?"
Frightfully sorry, OP. This is actually my fault.
I’ve been here five weeks and I’m beating them off with a shitty penis (although that is it always the mood killer you might think!!). I’ve got two couples and three single women here right now (and another couple steaming down the M40 as we speak).
It appears I beat you to it and have tempted all the lady people with, like, fannies n stuff away from Brum and down to Oxford.
I’ll be finished with them all soon so just wait another 7-10 days. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is going to sound like ‘poor old me’ but I going to put it out there anyway lol
I’ve been on here a few weeks now, sent loads of messages expressing interest to various couples and single ladies and very rarely get any kind of response. I consider my messages well put together, fun and including a recent face picture( I don’t consider myself a fugly) I never send a cock picture unless requested.
I’ve received winks, but once I reply I get deleted without any explanation. Whilst I appreciate it each to their own and I have no real expectation of people, but I must admit to being a little perplexed.
Am I really that bad?
Frightfully sorry, OP. This is actually my fault.
I’ve been here five weeks and I’m beating them off with a shitty penis (although that is it always the mood killer you might think!!). I’ve got two couples and three single women here right now (and another couple steaming down the M40 as we speak).
It appears I beat you to it and have tempted all the lady people with, like, fannies n stuff away from Brum and down to Oxford.
I’ll be finished with them all soon so just wait another 7-10 days. "
Don’t forget us we are only 300 miles away  |
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"This is going to sound like ‘poor old me’ but I going to put it out there anyway lol
I’ve been on here a few weeks now, sent loads of messages expressing interest to various couples and single ladies and very rarely get any kind of response. I consider my messages well put together, fun and including a recent face picture( I don’t consider myself a fugly) I never send a cock picture unless requested.
I’ve received winks, but once I reply I get deleted without any explanation. Whilst I appreciate it each to their own and I have no real expectation of people, but I must admit to being a little perplexed.
Am I really that bad?"
Waste of time firing messages out.. get out to clubs and socials and see the difference.. you will be flying then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The line that stood out in your OP was "I’ve been on here a few weeks now"
What were you expecting?
Arranging a meet with someone that ticks your boxes and you theirs can take months, if not years |
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Join some social events on here and simply turn up mate. It gives people a no pressure scenario where they can meet up with you around other people and this in turn may lead onto further meets in the future. |
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