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Narcissism/ Anxiety
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I can’t remember if I’ve done this before but anyway.
So I have anxiety (it’s fine- therapy and meds) but do you ever have moments when you feel anxious that something is about you or that people don’t like you etc and then think, is it narcissistic to have these worries so often?
It’s that weird crossover of ‘shit is that about me?’ And ‘not everything is about me’.
Self awareness is good but also does it ever cross with your self hatred? what if your own perception of yourself is actually really wrong?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're just human, it's natural to have these thoughts. Narcissistic people lack the understanding and thought process to worry about these things so I wouldn't say the two are connected. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thinking way too much.
The worse thing about people these days is pointless psychobabble.
The NHS is crippled by made up mental health codswallop.
You're you.
Perfect.
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I think this is why self-acceptance is the next step from self awareness. In terms of getting to a healthy mental state.
It's the aspects of ourselves we don't think are acceptable that's really hard. We would maybe even be ashamed, if they were exposed.
It can be seen as narcissistic, in a way. Often it goes unnoticed as the person believes themselves to be thinking of others, when they are actually thinking about how other's perceive them. So their thoughts remain almost entirely self-centred.
Is being nice, because you are worried people don't like you really being nice? Or are you just feeding your anxiety? Where does that rabbit hole end? So much pressure... Nope not doing that, not sorry. |
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I always prefer to keep things on a fab forum about things on fab and within these walls I've witnessed people who are convinced that many forum comments whether they be positive or negative are directly aimed at them.
They react publicly and accept compliments that were offered to other people but they react privately and complain that people are shunning them or have it in for them even when the comment has nothing whatsoever to do with them and was thrown at someone else entirely.
I've always linked that to some form of narcissism because of how they treat people in general. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can’t remember if I’ve done this before but anyway.
So I have anxiety (it’s fine- therapy and meds) but do you ever have moments when you feel anxious that something is about you or that people don’t like you etc and then think, is it narcissistic to have these worries so often?
It’s that weird crossover of ‘shit is that about me?’ And ‘not everything is about me’.
Self awareness is good but also does it ever cross with your self hatred? what if your own perception of yourself is actually really wrong?
"
I would have thought of paranoid personality disorder rather than narcissism.
Have to admit i currently think certain threads on here are about me but that's based on events beforehand.
But maybe I'm just paranoid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can’t remember if I’ve done this before but anyway.
So I have anxiety (it’s fine- therapy and meds) but do you ever have moments when you feel anxious that something is about you or that people don’t like you etc and then think, is it narcissistic to have these worries so often?
It’s that weird crossover of ‘shit is that about me?’ And ‘not everything is about me’.
Self awareness is good but also does it ever cross with your self hatred? what if your own perception of yourself is actually really wrong?
"
Be yourself. Do you really need social acceptance to be like everyone else ? I have major issues because of my past experiences. I am not going to take drugs to suppress the pain. That pain defined me in the first place. So wave your middle finger to the ones that don't understand. Eventually you are still you and not them. |
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Everyone has a tiny bit of narcissism apparently we need it to survive.Ive always had anxiety and felt different.I basically think I'm autistic but definitely have dispraxia.
I tend to have periods when I over analyse and then I have to find tools to help me stop.
Masturbation is amazing  |
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"I can’t remember if I’ve done this before but anyway.
So I have anxiety (it’s fine- therapy and meds) but do you ever have moments when you feel anxious that something is about you or that people don’t like you etc and then think, is it narcissistic to have these worries so often?
It’s that weird crossover of ‘shit is that about me?’ And ‘not everything is about me’.
Self awareness is good but also does it ever cross with your self hatred? what if your own perception of yourself is actually really wrong?
"
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By *razelMan
over a year ago
South East |
When I was a teenager, I would chill at my friend's house that lived a 25 minute walk away from my house. After the whole night of getting high, I would have to walk home at about 3 in the morning in complete darkness. There were two options to get home. One route would be by a main road with a lot of people in public but it meant adding an extra 40 mins to my journey. The other was the quickest but it meant having to go through a really dark park. At the end of the park was a very narrow pathway that was pitch black with one light that went on for about half a mile. At the end of the pathway was a wooden bridge and just past that was a really small church that had a gravesite on it.
Every night I would take that route home and after getting so high it would be terrifying. I imagined there was this monster that was somewhere in this pathway. It had such a bad energy and I could feel things were watching me from the darkness and I would constantly be looking over my shoulder thinking some kind of evil entity was following me. I would run over the bridge and wouldn't even look at the gravesite and when I passed it, I felt so relieved but dreaded the idea of walking through there every night.
Then one night, before I made the dreaded walk through the pathway again, I imagined myself as the monster and whatever was in there would be afraid of me. Just like that, I slowed right down and I began to stroll through at my own leisure. The things I was afraid of didn't seem so scary anymore.
I hope you understand what I'm trying to say OP.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I was a teenager, I would chill at my friend's house that lived a 25 minute walk away from my house. After the whole night of getting high, I would have to walk home at about 3 in the morning in complete darkness. There were two options to get home. One route would be by a main road with a lot of people in public but it meant adding an extra 40 mins to my journey. The other was the quickest but it meant having to go through a really dark park. At the end of the park was a very narrow pathway that was pitch black with one light that went on for about half a mile. At the end of the pathway was a wooden bridge and just past that was a really small church that had a gravesite on it.
Every night I would take that route home and after getting so high it would be terrifying. I imagined there was this monster that was somewhere in this pathway. It had such a bad energy and I could feel things were watching me from the darkness and I would constantly be looking over my shoulder thinking some kind of evil entity was following me. I would run over the bridge and wouldn't even look at the gravesite and when I passed it, I felt so relieved but dreaded the idea of walking through there every night.
Then one night, before I made the dreaded walk through the pathway again, I imagined myself as the monster and whatever was in there would be afraid of me. Just like that, I slowed right down and I began to stroll through at my own leisure. The things I was afraid of didn't seem so scary anymore.
I hope you understand what I'm trying to say OP.
"
Is it don’t do drugs? |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"I can’t remember if I’ve done this before but anyway.
So I have anxiety (it’s fine- therapy and meds) but do you ever have moments when you feel anxious that something is about you or that people don’t like you etc and then think, is it narcissistic to have these worries so often?
It’s that weird crossover of ‘shit is that about me?’ And ‘not everything is about me’.
Self awareness is good but also does it ever cross with your self hatred? what if your own perception of yourself is actually really wrong?
I would have thought of paranoid personality disorder rather than narcissism.
Have to admit i currently think certain threads on here are about me but that's based on events beforehand.
But maybe I'm just paranoid. "
Holy self diagnosis batman.
Seriously we are in the age of self, it's all about ne, there's no us anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Is it don’t do drugs?
I'm sure even you're intelligent enough to realise that being high was a metaphor for anxiety. As in they both offset reasonable and rational thinking.."
swallow a pill for everything that is to make you be socially acceptable. No to being a individual it's not acceptable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" Is it don’t do drugs?
I'm sure even you're intelligent enough to realise that being high was a metaphor for anxiety. As in they both offset reasonable and rational thinking.."
Bit of a difference, one’s by choice and the other isn’t  |
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By *razelMan
over a year ago
South East |
" Is it don’t do drugs?
I'm sure even you're intelligent enough to realise that being high was a metaphor for anxiety. As in they both offset reasonable and rational thinking.. swallow a pill for everything that is to make you be socially acceptable. No to being a individual it's not acceptable."
What? |
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"I can’t remember if I’ve done this before but anyway.
So I have anxiety (it’s fine- therapy and meds) but do you ever have moments when you feel anxious that something is about you or that people don’t like you etc and then think, is it narcissistic to have these worries so often?
It’s that weird crossover of ‘shit is that about me?’ And ‘not everything is about me’.
Self awareness is good but also does it ever cross with your self hatred? what if your own perception of yourself is actually really wrong?
"
Um... and this is where you talk to your therapist and not random strangers on the internet.. Lol! 
Ok ok...seriously.. as I do take mental health seriously and I'm technically crazy..
Yes I have randoms anxiety and panic trigger by....nothing in particular...which I think at time is ridiculous and as fully grown adult at 40 something.
Being worried that people don't like you is not narcissistic....
Everything that goes on in your head unfortunately is about you and the only way around it is to hack your brain/mind/body/heart/soul. Because we can't control what other people think, feel, say or do. it's all about how we take it on board.
Wes there are things that I hate or find absolutely infuriating and irritating about myself which is normal because we all have flaws, weaknesses and some things that we can't change. We can only mitigate as best we can. I try not to go into the "hate zone" because that can trigger me in to maladaptive dysfunction unhealthy behaviour/thinking patterns.
If you think that your own perception of is wrong, then test out your theoretical perception. You test it by challenging yourself to do things, by asking your friends and family to give you feed back, by evaluating yourself in your work and social life and by ( full circle here) asking your therapist and the therapy group members how they perceive you.
This isn't stuff you can sort out alone in your head.
This is stuff that you need support from other people to do.
Sidenote: Men tend to see other men as the enemy/competition but no one can tell you how to navigate the world successfully as a man but another man. The things that my male friends worry about do not even come into my head as a woman and I have never heard them discussed among women as a group. |
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"Not easy to say, but I don't think self reflection is a bad thing in and of itself.
I've been told (therapy etc) that worrying about being narcissistic is a pretty good indication that you're not."
Yup. |
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"I think it's just anxiety driven anxiety
It is quite cannibalistic in its tendencies"
Yeah it's a thing...rumination.....downward spiral.... I have to find something to distract me from the anxiety. |
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"I think this is why self-acceptance is the next step from self awareness. In terms of getting to a healthy mental state.
It's the aspects of ourselves we don't think are acceptable that's really hard. We would maybe even be ashamed, if they were exposed.
It can be seen as narcissistic, in a way. Often it goes unnoticed as the person believes themselves to be thinking of others, when they are actually thinking about how other's perceive them. So their thoughts remain almost entirely self-centred.
Is being nice, because you are worried people don't like you really being nice? Or are you just feeding your anxiety? Where does that rabbit hole end? So much pressure... Nope not doing that, not sorry."
When I was OP's age, I worried a lot about what people think about me...Now I really can't be arsed...it's too much mental gymnastics.
Now I go with "here's my mental state, here's my morals values and sense of integrity, here's my responsibilities and here's other people stuff that have little to nothing to do with me" I do not have the capacity to please most people so I have to please myself.
Some people might see that as narcissistic but my sense of integrity won't allow me to run myself into a psychotic breakdown that harms myself and other people while trying to please people...Nope. I just return to work after 12 weeks off because I felt like I was close to said psychotic breakdown. Nope, No one including me had to deal with the trauma of being witness to a psychotic breakdown. Mine are bad enough to scare the clinicians. I'm not doing that to colleagues and the general public. I know better now so I do better and my better is " not to try to please and be nice to everyone"
I pay myself first and if I have any spoons left over, I'll naturally and automatically share.
I have to accept it because the other alternative is being off sick from work and in and out of A & E and the psych ward. Not fun at all. |
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"I always prefer to keep things on a fab forum about things on fab and within these walls I've witnessed people who are convinced that many forum comments whether they be positive or negative are directly aimed at them.
They react publicly and accept compliments that were offered to other people but they react privately and complain that people are shunning them or have it in for them even when the comment has nothing whatsoever to do with them and was thrown at someone else entirely.
I've always linked that to some form of narcissism because of how they treat people in general. "
I wish it really was that simple...but I know it's not for myself and other people. |
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"I can’t remember if I’ve done this before but anyway.
So I have anxiety (it’s fine- therapy and meds) but do you ever have moments when you feel anxious that something is about you or that people don’t like you etc and then think, is it narcissistic to have these worries so often?
It’s that weird crossover of ‘shit is that about me?’ And ‘not everything is about me’.
Self awareness is good but also does it ever cross with your self hatred? what if your own perception of yourself is actually really wrong?
I would have thought of paranoid personality disorder rather than narcissism.
Have to admit i currently think certain threads on here are about me but that's based on events beforehand.
But maybe I'm just paranoid. "
Let's not self-diagnose with personality disorder. From someone who has a personality disorder.
Hmm. I'm clinically diagnosed as crazy but I never think threads on here are about me. I suppose I do get paranoid from time to time but I try to distract from it and challenge it with "where's the evidence?" that works for me coming from a legal background.
Sidenote: Being paranoid is a normal thing, it's only when it starts to make you unwell, unhealthy, maladaptive and dysfunctional is when it's a problem and then you go to see a clinician. |
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"It's the "you're not the main character" thing.
Narcs don't worry about anything, so I think you're ok mate."
I've sat in a NHS support group someone who was clinically diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality disorder. Yes they worry about things.
People who don't worry about anything are usually psychotic or a psychopath. Psychotic because your brain has flipped a switch and you are no longer in control and/or coherent. No more rational thinking in your brain.
Psychopaths, unfortunately, are extremely rational and calculating. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You're just human, it's natural to have these thoughts. Narcissistic people lack the understanding and thought process to worry about these things so I wouldn't say the two are connected. "
That’s very true |
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"Sounds more paranoid than narcissistic.
But it’s a side effect of anxiety so it won’t hang around long "
I wish my anxiety would not hang around long....but last year I discovered the joys of travel anxiety-induced IBS, I was too ill to get on my flight and spent half my holiday in bed recovering...Luckily my holiday was to see my parents so my mother gave me weak soup and cream crackers. Lol! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thinking way too much.
The worse thing about people these days is pointless psychobabble.
The NHS is crippled by made up mental health codswallop.
You're you.
Perfect.
"
Thanks I guess?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thank you everyone for your replies and reassurance. I appreciate you. And it’s nice to know I’m more normal than I think  "
Fuck everyone else just be you |
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By *razelMan
over a year ago
South East |
" Is it don’t do drugs?
I'm sure even you're intelligent enough to realise that being high was a metaphor for anxiety. As in they both offset reasonable and rational thinking..
Bit of a difference, one’s by choice and the other isn’t "
They both have the same level of impact on the brain, regardless of its origin |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sounds more paranoid than narcissistic.
But it’s a side effect of anxiety so it won’t hang around long
I wish my anxiety would not hang around long....but last year I discovered the joys of travel anxiety-induced IBS, I was too ill to get on my flight and spent half my holiday in bed recovering...Luckily my holiday was to see my parents so my mother gave me weak soup and cream crackers. Lol!"
God bless mums! The worst side effect my anxiety gave me was tiredness, I used to be able to sleep 12 hours a day |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can’t remember if I’ve done this before but anyway.
So I have anxiety (it’s fine- therapy and meds) but do you ever have moments when you feel anxious that something is about you or that people don’t like you etc and then think, is it narcissistic to have these worries so often?
It’s that weird crossover of ‘shit is that about me?’ And ‘not everything is about me’.
Self awareness is good but also does it ever cross with your self hatred? what if your own perception of yourself is actually really wrong?
I would have thought of paranoid personality disorder rather than narcissism.
Have to admit i currently think certain threads on here are about me but that's based on events beforehand.
But maybe I'm just paranoid.
Let's not self-diagnose with personality disorder. From someone who has a personality disorder.
Hmm. I'm clinically diagnosed as crazy but I never think threads on here are about me. I suppose I do get paranoid from time to time but I try to distract from it and challenge it with "where's the evidence?" that works for me coming from a legal background.
Sidenote: Being paranoid is a normal thing, it's only when it starts to make you unwell, unhealthy, maladaptive and dysfunctional is when it's a problem and then you go to see a clinician."
I wasn't self diagnosing. Far from it. And the threads I was referring to were just in the last 24 hours based on events that's actually happened. I don't usually think that at all. In fact yesterday I proved much to my own embarrassment, when a thread did actually appear to be about me, that I hadn't thought it for a second. I actually looked thick more than anything because I hadn't thought it was about me. The embarrassment was quite uncomfortable. |
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"I can’t remember if I’ve done this before but anyway.
So I have anxiety (it’s fine- therapy and meds) but do you ever have moments when you feel anxious that something is about you or that people don’t like you etc and then think, is it narcissistic to have these worries so often?
It’s that weird crossover of ‘shit is that about me?’ And ‘not everything is about me’.
Self awareness is good but also does it ever cross with your self hatred? what if your own perception of yourself is actually really wrong?
Be yourself. Do you really need social acceptance to be like everyone else ? I have major issues because of my past experiences. I am not going to take drugs to suppress the pain. That pain defined me in the first place. So wave your middle finger to the ones that don't understand. Eventually you are still you and not them. "
I try to be myself but that puts most people off. Lol!
So rationally and realistically, myself is actually dysfunctional, unhealthy and maladaptive. Lol! I mean that's why it's called a personality disorder. So I have to mask some of my more....anti-social traits. Good thing I'm a good masker. But people who know me....I can make them uncomfortable. sometimes intentionally sometimes unintentionally.
I know I don't have to be like everyone else but I don't exactly want to be shunned or chased with pitchforks (bitches and witches style) or have the cops and paramedics banging on my door every day/week (true story)
So I take the meds and do therapy to be a little more..palatable for society. 
I could stick my finger up at my managers who don't understand but then I won't have a job so.....Having a job is important to keeping me sane so I don't get chased...by pitchforks or the cops and paramedics.
For me it's all about balance. Half the time I try to blend in ( it doesn't always work but there are contingencies for that) the other half I'm sitting in a nudist spa because being naked on the high street is illegal and also likely to get me chased...by pitchforks or the cops and paramedics or I'm at home being as crazy as I like with the windows, curtains and blinds closed. |
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"I can’t remember if I’ve done this before but anyway.
So I have anxiety (it’s fine- therapy and meds) but do you ever have moments when you feel anxious that something is about you or that people don’t like you etc and then think, is it narcissistic to have these worries so often?
It’s that weird crossover of ‘shit is that about me?’ And ‘not everything is about me’.
Self awareness is good but also does it ever cross with your self hatred? what if your own perception of yourself is actually really wrong?
"
So true self awareness would be seeing where the sense of self-loatning comes from, what was the experience that developed a certain belief system you carry!.
Anxiety stems from the thinking about self, a situation etc, so challenge the thoughts, by doing something different, them the anxiety will start to lessen... |
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"Everyone has a tiny bit of narcissism apparently we need it to survive.Ive always had anxiety and felt different.I basically think I'm autistic but definitely have dispraxia.
I tend to have periods when I over analyse and then I have to find tools to help me stop.
Masturbation is amazing "
I get to points where masturbation doesn't help and then...you don't want to go overboard with that and damage/desensitize yourself.
Watched a psychologist yesterday saying she had to wean someone off porn and masturbation because they rewired their brain doing it too much to not be able to have normal sex with their partner....OMG....  ..I thought that was myth but when a clinician tells you the truth...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No I wouldn’t say it’s narcissism.
My anxiety can be the same, so I empathise.
The brain is a complex old thing sometimes, I’d like to switch it off on occasion.
I try to distract myself and just keep telling myself it will pass. Big love |
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"When I was a teenager, I would chill at my friend's house that lived a 25 minute walk away from my house. After the whole night of getting high, I would have to walk home at about 3 in the morning in complete darkness. There were two options to get home. One route would be by a main road with a lot of people in public but it meant adding an extra 40 mins to my journey. The other was the quickest but it meant having to go through a really dark park. At the end of the park was a very narrow pathway that was pitch black with one light that went on for about half a mile. At the end of the pathway was a wooden bridge and just past that was a really small church that had a gravesite on it.
Every night I would take that route home and after getting so high it would be terrifying. I imagined there was this monster that was somewhere in this pathway. It had such a bad energy and I could feel things were watching me from the darkness and I would constantly be looking over my shoulder thinking some kind of evil entity was following me. I would run over the bridge and wouldn't even look at the gravesite and when I passed it, I felt so relieved but dreaded the idea of walking through there every night.
Then one night, before I made the dreaded walk through the pathway again, I imagined myself as the monster and whatever was in there would be afraid of me. Just like that, I slowed right down and I began to stroll through at my own leisure. The things I was afraid of didn't seem so scary anymore.
I hope you understand what I'm trying to say OP.
"
As someone clinically diagnosed as crazy who has had psychotic and suicidal episodes, I'm too scared to get high as a kite. ( run in the family: psychosis, dementia and addiction)
As far walking at 3am in the pitch black, yeah that's a no. r@pists, monsters, ghouls, s£rial kill£rs, pred@tors (human and non-human),me tripping over myself and lying in a ditch injured until the sun came up freezing my tits off. Lol!
One time I went out and had too many drinks.... I had a great time...I was going home on the night bus and then out of nowhere I had an enormous panic/anxiety attack so I stayed on the night bus past my flat until it got to the hospital A & E. sat in the A & E for to hours and then was ok snogged some other dude also in the A & E and d*unk and then went home at 4 am...not in the dark..London ain't dark...on the night bus going the other way. Lol!
I think you are telling the OP to get high until his fear/anxiety goes away. |
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"When I was a teenager, I would chill at my friend's house that lived a 25 minute walk away from my house. After the whole night of getting high, I would have to walk home at about 3 in the morning in complete darkness. There were two options to get home. One route would be by a main road with a lot of people in public but it meant adding an extra 40 mins to my journey. The other was the quickest but it meant having to go through a really dark park. At the end of the park was a very narrow pathway that was pitch black with one light that went on for about half a mile. At the end of the pathway was a wooden bridge and just past that was a really small church that had a gravesite on it.
Every night I would take that route home and after getting so high it would be terrifying. I imagined there was this monster that was somewhere in this pathway. It had such a bad energy and I could feel things were watching me from the darkness and I would constantly be looking over my shoulder thinking some kind of evil entity was following me. I would run over the bridge and wouldn't even look at the gravesite and when I passed it, I felt so relieved but dreaded the idea of walking through there every night.
Then one night, before I made the dreaded walk through the pathway again, I imagined myself as the monster and whatever was in there would be afraid of me. Just like that, I slowed right down and I began to stroll through at my own leisure. The things I was afraid of didn't seem so scary anymore.
I hope you understand what I'm trying to say OP.
Is it don’t do drugs? "
Lol! I mean drugs work....for some people....not me...not without a prescription and careful dispensing. |
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" Is it don’t do drugs?
I'm sure even you're intelligent enough to realise that being high was a metaphor for anxiety. As in they both offset reasonable and rational thinking.."
I wished that worked for my travel anxiety-induced IBS when I threw up outside an Uber in traffic at Heathrow. 
I calmed down enough the next day to get on the transatlantic flight. Lol!
IBS you are being completely irrational and unreasonable I demand you stop now so I can have a nice trip....didn't work. |
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"I can’t remember if I’ve done this before but anyway.
So I have anxiety (it’s fine- therapy and meds) but do you ever have moments when you feel anxious that something is about you or that people don’t like you etc and then think, is it narcissistic to have these worries so often?
It’s that weird crossover of ‘shit is that about me?’ And ‘not everything is about me’.
Self awareness is good but also does it ever cross with your self hatred? what if your own perception of yourself is actually really wrong?
I would have thought of paranoid personality disorder rather than narcissism.
Have to admit i currently think certain threads on here are about me but that's based on events beforehand.
But maybe I'm just paranoid.
Holy self diagnosis batman.
Seriously we are in the age of self, it's all about ne, there's no us anymore."
Meh you are born alone and you die alone. Some of us live alone. Some of us are isolated with our thoughts through no fault of our own.
Some of us have been brainwashed by the internet, porn and social media and don't know anything different.
As an old millennial ( Xennial) I can still come home and toss my phone somewhere and forget about it for hours.
For some of "us", It's hard to find an "us" when we have been traumatized, misunderstood and isolated by other people. You get stuck in survival mode and hypervigilance. Some of that fear and anxiety comes from if someone doesn't like me does that mean that they will hurt me, does that mean that they are now a threat, how can I survive them not liking me and wanting to hurt me?
This stuff doesn't develop in a vacuum. |
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" Is it don’t do drugs?
I'm sure even you're intelligent enough to realise that being high was a metaphor for anxiety. As in they both offset reasonable and rational thinking.. swallow a pill for everything that is to make you be socially acceptable. No to being a individual it's not acceptable."
As a pill swallower, I do not advocate swallowing a pill for everything and certainly not as a long-term strategy or without close monitoring of a clinician.
I suggest Balance- do half of the things so you are not shunned or chased by the..villagers ( ? )..I mean....authorities and do the other half of the things so you retain your identity and individuality. |
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"You're just human, it's natural to have these thoughts. Narcissistic people lack the understanding and thought process to worry about these things so I wouldn't say the two are connected.
That’s very true "
hugs |
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"Thinking way too much.
The worse thing about people these days is pointless psychobabble.
The NHS is crippled by made up mental health codswallop.
You're you.
Perfect.
Thanks I guess? "
Mind the generation gap, OP. You know yourself and you know what your medical team has said.
I for one take mental health very seriously due to my own illness and others that I have seen and who have lost their battle with their illness too soon.
All well calling it codswallop and listening to others who tell you that it's made up until you are actually sat in an NHS bed at £10,000 a night of public funds and are not free to leave of your own will and recognizance. Imagine not being able to sleep or pee without a staff member watching you. Starts to look like stark true reality then and not made up at all.  |
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I don't believe that narsasists reflect internally all that much. They may care how people perceive them, so they fit in, but not on anything above the superficial level.
Your thoughts are pretty normal and I regularly wonder why people talk to me, if I'm boring them, why do they like me and struggle to make/keep friends because of this. Part of it is because I hate trivial nonsense in conversations. Growing up, I hated talking about bands, celebrities, clothes, fashion or things like that as they were so mind numbingly boring to me. That made/makes me feel so out of place most of the time but I just live with it now. |
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"Sounds more paranoid than narcissistic.
But it’s a side effect of anxiety so it won’t hang around long
I wish my anxiety would not hang around long....but last year I discovered the joys of travel anxiety-induced IBS, I was too ill to get on my flight and spent half my holiday in bed recovering...Luckily my holiday was to see my parents so my mother gave me weak soup and cream crackers. Lol!
God bless mums! The worst side effect my anxiety gave me was tiredness, I used to be able to sleep 12 hours a day "
Yeah my mum in particular. She's a retired nurse and a feeder.. Lol! She makes food and I literally take it to my friends' houses so I don't have to eat it. Lol!
I'm an insomniac, with fatigue and poor quality sleep..I don't even know how I still function...just about. |
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"I can’t remember if I’ve done this before but anyway.
So I have anxiety (it’s fine- therapy and meds) but do you ever have moments when you feel anxious that something is about you or that people don’t like you etc and then think, is it narcissistic to have these worries so often?
It’s that weird crossover of ‘shit is that about me?’ And ‘not everything is about me’.
Self awareness is good but also does it ever cross with your self hatred? what if your own perception of yourself is actually really wrong?
I would have thought of paranoid personality disorder rather than narcissism.
Have to admit i currently think certain threads on here are about me but that's based on events beforehand.
But maybe I'm just paranoid.
Let's not self-diagnose with personality disorder. From someone who has a personality disorder.
Hmm. I'm clinically diagnosed as crazy but I never think threads on here are about me. I suppose I do get paranoid from time to time but I try to distract from it and challenge it with "where's the evidence?" that works for me coming from a legal background.
Sidenote: Being paranoid is a normal thing, it's only when it starts to make you unwell, unhealthy, maladaptive and dysfunctional is when it's a problem and then you go to see a clinician.
I wasn't self diagnosing. Far from it. And the threads I was referring to were just in the last 24 hours based on events that's actually happened. I don't usually think that at all. In fact yesterday I proved much to my own embarrassment, when a thread did actually appear to be about me, that I hadn't thought it for a second. I actually looked thick more than anything because I hadn't thought it was about me. The embarrassment was quite uncomfortable. "
I'm always uncomfortable so..... |
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"I can’t remember if I’ve done this before but anyway.
So I have anxiety (it’s fine- therapy and meds) but do you ever have moments when you feel anxious that something is about you or that people don’t like you etc and then think, is it narcissistic to have these worries so often?
It’s that weird crossover of ‘shit is that about me?’ And ‘not everything is about me’.
Self awareness is good but also does it ever cross with your self hatred? what if your own perception of yourself is actually really wrong?
So true self awareness would be seeing where the sense of self-loatning comes from, what was the experience that developed a certain belief system you carry!.
Anxiety stems from the thinking about self, a situation etc, so challenge the thoughts, by doing something different, them the anxiety will start to lessen..."
This sounds suspiciously like a clinician. Lol!
I should know I spend years...decades around them trying to hack my brain....me trying to hack my brain..not the clinicians trying to hack my brain....I am responsible for therapist burn out...about twice or thrice... |
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"No I wouldn’t say it’s narcissism.
My anxiety can be the same, so I empathise.
The brain is a complex old thing sometimes, I’d like to switch it off on occasion.
I try to distract myself and just keep telling myself it will pass. Big love "
Mine switches off at the spa and the beach and in the swimming pool. It tries to switch off in yoga and then I need to fart. The anxiwty of farting in pilates or yoga! Lol! |
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"I can’t remember if I’ve done this before but anyway.
So I have anxiety (it’s fine- therapy and meds) but do you ever have moments when you feel anxious that something is about you or that people don’t like you etc and then think, is it narcissistic to have these worries so often?
It’s that weird crossover of ‘shit is that about me?’ And ‘not everything is about me’.
Self awareness is good but also does it ever cross with your self hatred? what if your own perception of yourself is actually really wrong?
So true self awareness would be seeing where the sense of self-loatning comes from, what was the experience that developed a certain belief system you carry!.
Anxiety stems from the thinking about self, a situation etc, so challenge the thoughts, by doing something different, them the anxiety will start to lessen...
This sounds suspiciously like a clinician. Lol!
I should know I spend years...decades around them trying to hack my brain....me trying to hack my brain..not the clinicians trying to hack my brain....I am responsible for therapist burn out...about twice or thrice... "
Clinical possible, but primarily vast amounts of work on myself, that has eased my anxiety, so personal life experience |
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"I think this is why self-acceptance is the next step from self awareness. In terms of getting to a healthy mental state.
It's the aspects of ourselves we don't think are acceptable that's really hard. We would maybe even be ashamed, if they were exposed.
It can be seen as narcissistic, in a way. Often it goes unnoticed as the person believes themselves to be thinking of others, when they are actually thinking about how other's perceive them. So their thoughts remain almost entirely self-centred.
Is being nice, because you are worried people don't like you really being nice? Or are you just feeding your anxiety? Where does that rabbit hole end? So much pressure... Nope not doing that, not sorry.
When I was OP's age, I worried a lot about what people think about me...Now I really can't be arsed...it's too much mental gymnastics.
Now I go with "here's my mental state, here's my morals values and sense of integrity, here's my responsibilities and here's other people stuff that have little to nothing to do with me" I do not have the capacity to please most people so I have to please myself.
Some people might see that as narcissistic but my sense of integrity won't allow me to run myself into a psychotic breakdown that harms myself and other people while trying to please people...Nope. I just return to work after 12 weeks off because I felt like I was close to said psychotic breakdown. Nope, No one including me had to deal with the trauma of being witness to a psychotic breakdown. Mine are bad enough to scare the clinicians. I'm not doing that to colleagues and the general public. I know better now so I do better and my better is " not to try to please and be nice to everyone"
I pay myself first and if I have any spoons left over, I'll naturally and automatically share.
I have to accept it because the other alternative is being off sick from work and in and out of A & E and the psych ward. Not fun at all."
I don't think that's in the slightest bit narcissistic. I think it's a matter of survival that we define ourselves and look after our own needs, before the needs of others. It's human nature.
Here's to saying fuck it to what other people think  . |
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"I think this is why self-acceptance is the next step from self awareness. In terms of getting to a healthy mental state.
It's the aspects of ourselves we don't think are acceptable that's really hard. We would maybe even be ashamed, if they were exposed.
It can be seen as narcissistic, in a way. Often it goes unnoticed as the person believes themselves to be thinking of others, when they are actually thinking about how other's perceive them. So their thoughts remain almost entirely self-centred.
Is being nice, because you are worried people don't like you really being nice? Or are you just feeding your anxiety? Where does that rabbit hole end? So much pressure... Nope not doing that, not sorry.
When I was OP's age, I worried a lot about what people think about me...Now I really can't be arsed...it's too much mental gymnastics.
Now I go with "here's my mental state, here's my morals values and sense of integrity, here's my responsibilities and here's other people stuff that have little to nothing to do with me" I do not have the capacity to please most people so I have to please myself.
Some people might see that as narcissistic but my sense of integrity won't allow me to run myself into a psychotic breakdown that harms myself and other people while trying to please people...Nope. I just return to work after 12 weeks off because I felt like I was close to said psychotic breakdown. Nope, No one including me had to deal with the trauma of being witness to a psychotic breakdown. Mine are bad enough to scare the clinicians. I'm not doing that to colleagues and the general public. I know better now so I do better and my better is " not to try to please and be nice to everyone"
I pay myself first and if I have any spoons left over, I'll naturally and automatically share.
I have to accept it because the other alternative is being off sick from work and in and out of A & E and the psych ward. Not fun at all.
I don't think that's in the slightest bit narcissistic. I think it's a matter of survival that we define ourselves and look after our own needs, before the needs of others. It's human nature.
Here's to saying fuck it to what other people think ."
My personality disorder gets accused of being self-centered, selfish, attention-seeking, toxic, narcissistic, etc etc.... I often have to let people know yeah it's none of that if I'm trying to avoid a psychotic breakdown and end up in hospital.
I think what happens to a lot of people is that hearing about mental health triggers their own insecurities and discomfort and they do not want to deal with it....ever...which is fair....if they are a hermit...but if they actually want to be around people and interact with people...then they have to learn how to deal with people....fair, unfair, toxic, wonderful, amazing, cute, ugly, awkward, differently abled, purple hair...etc..Psychopathic...I'm currently reading a book on psychopaths....aka how to deal with toxic people i.e. run for the hills.... Lol! |
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