FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why are YOU struggling
Why are YOU struggling
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I can answer honestly for most men, however it's more for the women.
I've obviously seen a lot of profiles come and go in my time on fab (yes, I perv, so what)
But what is effectively a woman's marketplace whereas nothing happens without it being there choice (you can deny but most men on here will agree regardless of our efforts)
So, you're absolutely gorgeous physically, you have the perfect profile...every reads about you as "nice"
So why are you still struggling?? |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Because maybe they can't find people who they're compatible with, who doesn't mess them around, doesn't live too far away and gives them frequent fanny flutters.
I'm not struggling at all but those are the issues my friends and women on here bring up. |
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"Because maybe they can't find people who they're compatible with, who doesn't mess them around, doesn't live too far away and gives them frequent fanny flutters.
I'm not struggling at all but those are the issues my friends and women on here bring up. "
Absolutely this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can answer honestly for most men, however it's more for the women.
I've obviously seen a lot of profiles come and go in my time on fab (yes, I perv, so what)
But what is effectively a woman's marketplace whereas nothing happens without it being their choice ….
"
It’s also ANYONES choice. Nothing happens unless everyone wants it to.
Guys can have choices too. It’s our choice to join in with Fab or not.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just make your point O.P. or this thread will grow to the death of 175 with us never knowing.
What is it you really want to say ?"
Nope ... It's a guessing game  |
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Honestly I find it easier to get sex off fab than on fab
It makes sense, billions of messages to women whatever they look like asking for a shag and you'll naturally lose interest. I think it's the classic men too shy to chat in public but feeling confident behind a screen so women on here naturally get a lot more choosy and in many cases, stop caring.
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"Just make your point O.P. or this thread will grow to the death of 175 with us never knowing.
What is it you really want to say ?
Nope ... It's a guessing game "
Okay. I'm gonna have a guess ..... let me seeeeeeeeeee |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Oh btw, this isn't about me, you, anyone specific, male or female or both
It is just a general question created by status updates and of an overall thought
Right that should remove anything that was or might be considered "Hidden agenda-ish" |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I can answer honestly for most men, however it's more for the women.
I've obviously seen a lot of profiles come and go in my time on fab (yes, I perv, so what)
But what is effectively a woman's marketplace whereas nothing happens without it being their choice ….
It’s also ANYONES choice. Nothing happens unless everyone wants it to.
Guys can have choices too. It’s our choice to join in with Fab or not.
"
Yes. And men don't need to treat women like they have all the power. They don't. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Was it not you I saw crying earlier because someone called you ugly?"
Ooo, brave man with a silhouette showing his huge humourous testicles.
And it's fugly... Alright!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I can answer honestly for most men, however it's more for the women.
I've obviously seen a lot of profiles come and go in my time on fab (yes, I perv, so what)
But what is effectively a woman's marketplace whereas nothing happens without it being their choice ….
It’s also ANYONES choice. Nothing happens unless everyone wants it to.
Guys can have choices too. It’s our choice to join in with Fab or not.
Yes. And men don't need to treat women like they have all the power. They don't. "
 |
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"I can answer honestly for most men, however it's more for the women.
I've obviously seen a lot of profiles come and go in my time on fab (yes, I perv, so what)
But what is effectively a woman's marketplace whereas nothing happens without it being there choice (you can deny but most men on here will agree regardless of our efforts)
So, you're absolutely gorgeous physically, you have the perfect profile...every reads about you as "nice"
So why are you still struggling??"
Not struggling as I don’t expect any responses and I’m quite specific in what I’m asking for and if anybody does read my profile I already know what will put people off….. no judgment needed…. |
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"I can answer honestly for most men, however it's more for the women.
I've obviously seen a lot of profiles come and go in my time on fab (yes, I perv, so what)
But what is effectively a woman's marketplace whereas nothing happens without it being there choice (you can deny but most men on here will agree regardless of our efforts)
So, you're absolutely gorgeous physically, you have the perfect profile...every reads about you as "nice"
So why are you still struggling??"
Struggling for what? Getting a meet?
I think that some people view this website as a primarily a dating one.
It's a site with information and details of clubs, meets and forums with general advice. Yes, people put up their profiles and ask to meet, but I don't think that not getting a meet means that there is a 'struggle'.
Of course, many people hook up on here but if you don't, well, it isn't the main purpose of this website in my opinion.
I'd say that use of the info to find socials, clubs and parties, then to attend some would be a better approach as the ratio of men to women/couples is just so unbalanced here.
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I can answer honestly for most men, however it's more for the women.
I've obviously seen a lot of profiles come and go in my time on fab (yes, I perv, so what)
But what is effectively a woman's marketplace whereas nothing happens without it being there choice (you can deny but most men on here will agree regardless of our efforts)
So, you're absolutely gorgeous physically, you have the perfect profile...every reads about you as "nice"
So why are you still struggling??"
OP Let me help you understand with an example. There is a bar called Churchill’s in Lagos , Nigeria. If you walk in the door you’ll be immediately inundated with offers of sex and other things, from hordes of skanky looking aids ridden women and girls.
It’s not always about quantity of offers is it ? |
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By *om114Man
over a year ago
Belfast |
"Was it not you I saw crying earlier because someone called you ugly?
Ooo, brave man with a silhouette showing his huge humourous testicles.
And it's fugly... Alright!! "
What? You're well sensitive, that's hilarious |
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"I can answer honestly for most men, however it's more for the women.
I've obviously seen a lot of profiles come and go in my time on fab (yes, I perv, so what)
But what is effectively a woman's marketplace whereas nothing happens without it being there choice (you can deny but most men on here will agree regardless of our efforts)
So, you're absolutely gorgeous physically, you have the perfect profile...every reads about you as "nice"
So why are you still struggling??
OP Let me help you understand with an example. There is a bar called Churchill’s in Lagos , Nigeria. If you walk in the door you’ll be immediately inundated with offers of sex and other things, from hordes of skanky looking aids ridden women and girls.
It’s not always about quantity of offers is it ? "
I’m asking for a friend but where about is this bar….  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I can answer honestly for most men, however it's more for the women.
I've obviously seen a lot of profiles come and go in my time on fab (yes, I perv, so what)
But what is effectively a woman's marketplace whereas nothing happens without it being there choice (you can deny but most men on here will agree regardless of our efforts)
So, you're absolutely gorgeous physically, you have the perfect profile...every reads about you as "nice"
So why are you still struggling??
OP Let me help you understand with an example. There is a bar called Churchill’s in Lagos , Nigeria. If you walk in the door you’ll be immediately inundated with offers of sex and other things, from hordes of skanky looking aids ridden women and girls.
It’s not always about quantity of offers is it ? "
There's nothing to understand, I'm totally fine..it's just a general question asking people's opinions on fab, and what they discover or don't discover through observation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm not struggling
Women don't get sex just because they can, takes consent from all involved to start with.
Ignorance is what stops people getting anywhere on Fab when they think and believe people owe them something. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Was it not you I saw crying earlier because someone called you ugly?
Ooo, brave man with a silhouette showing his huge humourous testicles.
And it's fugly... Alright!!
What? You're well sensitive, that's hilarious"
Prime example...you've judged me by reacting to a comment that you considered humourous without even considering how offensive it might...me personally I'm not bothered what you think but you couldn't react politely when responded to.
I wish thee well
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We struggle as a couple. It's very hard to find the time to swing, between shift work, a family, animals, time of the month and the right events being on.
Once we do make it out we find it very hard to meet the right people, Penny is very choosy until she's wet and we only play straight. They need to be the right age, married or long term couple, be both physically attractive and have a fun personality. For single guys they need to be 100% honest, talk to us equally and not be like a dog with 2 dicks, sober enough to to be fully coherent and also find Penny attractive.
We haven't managed to play in nearly 6 months. |
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"I can answer honestly for most men, however it's more for the women.
I've obviously seen a lot of profiles come and go in my time on fab (yes, I perv, so what)
But what is effectively a woman's marketplace whereas nothing happens without it being there choice (you can deny but most men on here will agree regardless of our efforts)
So, you're absolutely gorgeous physically, you have the perfect profile...every reads about you as "nice"
So why are you still struggling??
OP Let me help you understand with an example. There is a bar called Churchill’s in Lagos , Nigeria. If you walk in the door you’ll be immediately inundated with offers of sex and other things, from hordes of skanky looking aids ridden women and girls.
It’s not always about quantity of offers is it ? "
You are right it's not always about the quantity of offers. For the skanky looking women and girls , their position is more about misogynist cunts in a patriarchal society who make use of poverty and pass their diseases to people who have to make their living that way ..... cos the skankies aren't there from choice but their users are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No one struggles to find any sex but everyone struggles to find someone you are mentally, physically and sexually compatible with. It's even harder when people can choose to be whoever they want to be online and care more about pleasing others than being who they truly are.
It's hard work for everyone, no matter what sex group you're in. |
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We're not currently looking, but the struggle was real when we couldn't get a meet for love nor money due to people's schedules etc, then as soon as life got crazy for us everyone started popping back up  that's life! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"No one struggles to find any sex but everyone struggles to find someone you are mentally, physically and sexually compatible with. It's even harder when people can choose to be whoever they want to be online and care more about pleasing others than being who they truly are.
It's hard work for everyone, no matter what sex group you're in. "
That's a fair response... probably the best explanation so far |
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"We struggle as a couple. It's very hard to find the time to swing, between shift work, a family, animals, time of the month and the right events being on.
Once we do make it out we find it very hard to meet the right people, Penny is very choosy until she's wet and we only play straight. They need to be the right age, married or long term couple, be both physically attractive and have a fun personality. For single guys they need to be 100% honest, talk to us equally and not be like a dog with 2 dicks, sober enough to to be fully coherent and also find Penny attractive.
We haven't managed to play in nearly 6 months. "
I think penny’s choice of food might scare some people….. hope it’s not English….  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We struggle as a couple. It's very hard to find the time to swing, between shift work, a family, animals, time of the month and the right events being on.
Once we do make it out we find it very hard to meet the right people, Penny is very choosy until she's wet and we only play straight. They need to be the right age, married or long term couple, be both physically attractive and have a fun personality. For single guys they need to be 100% honest, talk to us equally and not be like a dog with 2 dicks, sober enough to to be fully coherent and also find Penny attractive.
We haven't managed to play in nearly 6 months.
I think penny’s choice of food might scare some people….. hope it’s not English…. "
|
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I joined Fab over three years ago. I only 'struggled' for the first month or so because I simply didn't understand this place and all the insurmountable crass, nuances and complexities.
I haven't sent an introductory message in almost two years and it's been a fulfilling experience in every favourable way.
It requires concerted effort, mental 'depth', intuition and patience when making and sustaining new connections on here.
I struggle with the spectres and stupidity that often lands in my inbox.
I'm not struggling otherwise. |
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By *adCherriesCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire/Northwest |
Normally clubs we struggle with approaching couples because we can be quite shy and lost our tribe during covid as most people have left the scene/ broken up, so it's getting back into the vibe of how to approach people. |
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We don’t struggle but really we are looking for about 0.5% of FAB…the ones that will provide top shelf memories.
Not after half matches - we are after full ‘you are fucking incredible you sexy fuck’ type meets 
K |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
"I joined Fab over three years ago. I only 'struggled' for the first month or so because I simply didn't understand this place and all the insurmountable crass, nuances and complexities.
I haven't sent an introductory message in almost two years and it's been a fulfilling experience in every favourable way.
It requires concerted effort, mental 'depth', intuition and patience when making and sustaining new connections on here.
I struggle with the spectres and stupidity that often lands in my inbox.
I'm not struggling otherwise."
I did apologise for messaging you |
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After so many messages reading the same. I have come to the conclusion that I am little more than a hole to the majority of those that message. It’s not particularly flattering.
If a conversation flows it’s slightly better. But for the main it is demoralising. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"After so many messages reading the same. I have come to the conclusion that I am little more than a hole to the majority of those that message. It’s not particularly flattering.
If a conversation flows it’s slightly better. But for the main it is demoralising."
FAF ?? |
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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
I'm not struggling, I don't really try that hard and therefore, I reap the minimum rewards for my minimum efforts.
I have a great life; Fab is just an added bonus, no need to make it into a struggle. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"After so many messages reading the same. I have come to the conclusion that I am little more than a hole to the majority of those that message. It’s not particularly flattering.
If a conversation flows it’s slightly better. But for the main it is demoralising."
You're more than a hole. You're an adequately fuckable sentient piece of meat. Feel better now? |
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I could get sex pretty easily from here if I'm not at all selective. But this would be true for tinder, PoF etc. Finding a quality man who will satisfy me and who is looking for what I want? That's much more of a struggle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Is it cos I'm a massive prick tease?
I hadn't noticed you was drawn to you massive pricks ..I thought you treated us all equally "
Proper size queen is our Granny |
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Struggling would be the wrong word for me. More just worn down by everything in the world, sad that I've no idea if or when anybody that I fancy will ever fancy me, tired that it's so long since I've been properly shagged. Would be so nice for someone that matches my desires to make approaches to me, I'm getting too exhausted to keep making the approaches myself. Polly xxx |
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"I can answer honestly for most men, however it's more for the women.
I've obviously seen a lot of profiles come and go in my time on fab (yes, I perv, so what)
But what is effectively a woman's marketplace whereas nothing happens without it being there choice (you can deny but most men on here will agree regardless of our efforts)
So, you're absolutely gorgeous physically, you have the perfect profile...every reads about you as "nice"
So why are you still struggling??"
Gorgeous is subjective.
So are perfect profiles.
There are profiles here that are told on the forums how amazing they are and I've seen little or no evidence to back it up.
There are lots of perfect profiles complaining they can't get repeat meets so we can only assume that's a result of something lacking in the initial meet.
It's not beyond the bounds of possibility that perfect profiles could be less than perfect in the flesh or lacking bedroom skills. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I can answer honestly for most men, however it's more for the women.
I've obviously seen a lot of profiles come and go in my time on fab (yes, I perv, so what)
But what is effectively a woman's marketplace whereas nothing happens without it being there choice (you can deny but most men on here will agree regardless of our efforts)
So, you're absolutely gorgeous physically, you have the perfect profile...every reads about you as "nice"
So why are you still struggling??
OP Let me help you understand with an example. There is a bar called Churchill’s in Lagos , Nigeria. If you walk in the door you’ll be immediately inundated with offers of sex and other things, from hordes of skanky looking aids ridden women and girls.
It’s not always about quantity of offers is it ?
I’m asking for a friend but where about is this bar…. "
Lol …. It’s LEKKI phase one, Victoria island. It’s actually a great bar and awesome Karaoke nights. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I can answer honestly for most men, however it's more for the women.
I've obviously seen a lot of profiles come and go in my time on fab (yes, I perv, so what)
But what is effectively a woman's marketplace whereas nothing happens without it being there choice (you can deny but most men on here will agree regardless of our efforts)
So, you're absolutely gorgeous physically, you have the perfect profile...every reads about you as "nice"
So why are you still struggling??
OP Let me help you understand with an example. There is a bar called Churchill’s in Lagos , Nigeria. If you walk in the door you’ll be immediately inundated with offers of sex and other things, from hordes of skanky looking aids ridden women and girls.
It’s not always about quantity of offers is it ?
You are right it's not always about the quantity of offers. For the skanky looking women and girls , their position is more about misogynist cunts in a patriarchal society who make use of poverty and pass their diseases to people who have to make their living that way ..... cos the skankies aren't there from choice but their users are. "
A bit like people who watch porn then |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Struggling, yes, why?
Hundreds of messages in the inbox.
Look at the profile. If it lacks info delete!! that's most of the inbox deleted for starters.
Distance! Messages from miles away... Are they actually going to drive that distance for a bang? Or expect me to?
It's not really likely it'll happen is it?
So delete.
Most won't send a face pic and I can't get turned on over a headless man so again delete. Otherwise I'll spend absolutely hours messaging people for face pics. In saying that if the profile is good I'll ask. Most refuse or say they will only send o
If I do. So I delete.
Delete the cock pic profiles. The ones that want to breed, involve pee, poo etc. Those that put crass one liners, half hearted sentences and practically fuck all on the their profile. 1 sentence bios and 1 public photo is not enough to get me interested.the ones that ask if I'd like to watch them wank.... Seriously I'd rather fuck why do you think watching you wank is a good idea? That's just wasting a perfectly good cock isn't it at the very least.
What's left?
Probably 5/6 possibles.
Start a conversation.
Some will reply like they are entitled and you should be the free performing sex worker. Delete.
Others just can't manage a conversation at all.
Others push for a social in the first message when you've not got a feel for who they are.
What are you left with..... Despondency! And why the fuck do I bother?
Here's me with lots of photos, massive confusing bio. Verified etc.
And most post a cock pic including a toilet, and one sentence in their message.
I have no idea who the man is behind the profile!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh and let's ignore the fact that about 95% of the men on here are actually attached, hiding the fact, lying through their teeth and spinning elaborate stories to cover the fact and your not left with many men that can actually get out to fuck without having to act like a child sneaking around the parents! |
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"Gorgeous is subjective.
So are perfect profiles.
There are profiles here that are told on the forums how amazing they are and I've seen little or no evidence to back it up.
There are lots of perfect profiles complaining they can't get repeat meets so we can only assume that's a result of something lacking in the initial meet.
It's not beyond the bounds of possibility that perfect profiles could be less than perfect in the flesh or lacking bedroom skills. "
What he said
Frank |
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Because (some, not all) men are dickheads.
I was only telling someone today how exhausting it can be dealing with them on here.
It takes such little effort to be decent and genuine, yet they fall at the first hurdle. |
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"Oh and let's ignore the fact that about 95% of the men on here are actually attached, hiding the fact, lying through their teeth and spinning elaborate stories to cover the fact and your not left with many men that can actually get out to fuck without having to act like a child sneaking around the parents!"
Teehee.
In other news holy fuck look at your latest picture |
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"Because (some, not all) men are dickheads.
I was only telling someone today how exhausting it can be dealing with them on here.
It takes such little effort to be decent and genuine, yet they fall at the first hurdle."
This is a complex one. Because most women, do indeed like dickheads. Or at least at attracted to them, the whole nice guys finish last mantra.
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I can't say I have ever really struggled as such on here because I never really invested a lot into fab it's not the be all and end all to me. I have always kept tight filters so apart the first day I joined on here I haven't been inundated with messages from people I would have no interest in. I don't see the point in wanting a load of messages that I won't ever answer.I have made first contact with profiles I saw that I liked and thanks to that I've made a friend for life and the sex is just an added bonus to that friendship.
Yes I have had quite a few social meets with men off here and couples too at one stage. Rarely did it go beyond a nice chat and a cuppa.A few who it did go beyond that I only met a couple of times. But I've had some great meets and some people I met regularly for a good while.
Due to time and personal reasons I am no longer looking for any new meets for the foreseeable future. So just pop in and out of the forums mostly now.
Fab to me is meant to be fun and a way to escape and I know if I was struggling and found it to be affecting my life outside of here I would take a break or leave. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a numbers game and the odds are stacked much more in the women’s favour. They can be extremely selective as a result. It’s the nature of the site.
That’s before you even involve whether you fit what they find attractive. Although that can also be ruined by your bio, sent messages, pictures, distance, interests and not fitting in with their interests etc.
If something happens fine and if not life goes on. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"It’s a numbers game and the odds are stacked much more in the women’s favour. They can be extremely selective as a result. It’s the nature of the site.
That’s before you even involve whether you fit what they find attractive. Although that can also be ruined by your bio, sent messages, pictures, distance, interests and not fitting in with their interests etc.
If something happens fine and if not life goes on."
Even if the numbers situation was reversed I'd still be just as selective about who I get naked with. I'm fussy like that  |
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"
OP Let me help you understand with an example. There is a bar called Churchill’s in Lagos , Nigeria. If you walk in the door you’ll be immediately inundated with offers of sex and other things, from hordes of skanky looking aids ridden women and girls.
... "
I was rather hoping to get inundated without the bother of going into a bar! |
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"Because (some, not all) men are dickheads.
I was only telling someone today how exhausting it can be dealing with them on here.
It takes such little effort to be decent and genuine, yet they fall at the first hurdle.
This is a complex one. Because most women, do indeed like dickheads. Or at least at attracted to them, the whole nice guys finish last mantra.
"
That's simply not true. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Even if the numbers situation was reversed I'd still be just as selective about who I get naked with. I'm fussy like that "
Your free to choose who you like and be as subjective as you wish. |
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I’m not sure if I’m struggling, because I don’t put much effort into meeting through Fab, I usually meet people at parties.
I think that’s mainly because 90% of my interactions through Fab are a complete waste of time.
I’d say 99% of the messages I get are from men who either haven’t checked my profile to see what I’m looking for, have checked it and start their message with ‘I’m not black, but..’, live so far away it’s ridiculous to consider it or are so lack lustre with their messaging it’s just not appealing.
I haven’t had an interaction through Fab that successfully led anywhere since last year. So I’ve sort of given up. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Because (some, not all) men are dickheads.
I was only telling someone today how exhausting it can be dealing with them on here.
It takes such little effort to be decent and genuine, yet they fall at the first hurdle.
This is a complex one. Because most women, do indeed like dickheads. Or at least at attracted to them, the whole nice guys finish last mantra.
"
Couldn’t be less attracted to, or like dickheads |
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"Because (some, not all) men are dickheads.
I was only telling someone today how exhausting it can be dealing with them on here.
It takes such little effort to be decent and genuine, yet they fall at the first hurdle.
This is a complex one. Because most women, do indeed like dickheads. Or at least at attracted to them, the whole nice guys finish last mantra.
"
It's a story men like to tell themselves, certainly. It makes them feel better. |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"It’s a numbers game and the odds are stacked much more in the women’s favour. They can be extremely selective as a result. It’s the nature of the site.
That’s before you even involve whether you fit what they find attractive. Although that can also be ruined by your bio, sent messages, pictures, distance, interests and not fitting in with their interests etc.
If something happens fine and if not life goes on.
Even if the numbers situation was reversed I'd still be just as selective about who I get naked with. I'm fussy like that "
Hmnn, if your pool of available desirable men shrunk by 90% then either you won't be getting naked in company as much or reassessing your criteria. |
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"It’s a numbers game and the odds are stacked much more in the women’s favour. They can be extremely selective as a result. It’s the nature of the site.
That’s before you even involve whether you fit what they find attractive. Although that can also be ruined by your bio, sent messages, pictures, distance, interests and not fitting in with their interests etc.
If something happens fine and if not life goes on.
Even if the numbers situation was reversed I'd still be just as selective about who I get naked with. I'm fussy like that
Hmnn, if your pool of available desirable men shrunk by 90% then either you won't be getting naked in company as much or reassessing your criteria."
I doubt that's ever happening |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s a numbers game and the odds are stacked much more in the women’s favour. They can be extremely selective as a result. It’s the nature of the site.
That’s before you even involve whether you fit what they find attractive. Although that can also be ruined by your bio, sent messages, pictures, distance, interests and not fitting in with their interests etc.
If something happens fine and if not life goes on.
Even if the numbers situation was reversed I'd still be just as selective about who I get naked with. I'm fussy like that
Hmnn, if your pool of available desirable men shrunk by 90% then either you won't be getting naked in company as much or reassessing your criteria."
I wouldn’t sleep with someone I wasn’t attracted to, I’d just have a wank |
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"Because (some, not all) men are dickheads.
I was only telling someone today how exhausting it can be dealing with them on here.
It takes such little effort to be decent and genuine, yet they fall at the first hurdle.
This is a complex one. Because most women, do indeed like dickheads. Or at least at attracted to them, the whole nice guys finish last mantra.
"
I don’t think that’s true in this context. A Fab dickhead is likely to be entitled, disrespectful, inconsistent and think it’s ok to treat you like a sl*g because they’ve met you on here. I don’t know any woman who finds that attractive.
Sone women like a ‘bad boy’ but that not the same as a dickhead. |
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"It’s a numbers game and the odds are stacked much more in the women’s favour. They can be extremely selective as a result. It’s the nature of the site.
That’s before you even involve whether you fit what they find attractive. Although that can also be ruined by your bio, sent messages, pictures, distance, interests and not fitting in with their interests etc.
If something happens fine and if not life goes on.
Even if the numbers situation was reversed I'd still be just as selective about who I get naked with. I'm fussy like that
Hmnn, if your pool of available desirable men shrunk by 90% then either you won't be getting naked in company as much or reassessing your criteria."
I think that’s part of the problem. Men expect it to be really easy on here. Then it’s not. So then they reassess their criteria (which means going for women they don’t find attractive but think will say yes). Then it’s STILL not easy and the women they don’t actually find attractive are also rejecting them. So then they’re furious and are horrible to the women who never asked to be approached by them in the first place |
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"It’s a numbers game and the odds are stacked much more in the women’s favour. They can be extremely selective as a result. It’s the nature of the site.
That’s before you even involve whether you fit what they find attractive. Although that can also be ruined by your bio, sent messages, pictures, distance, interests and not fitting in with their interests etc.
If something happens fine and if not life goes on.
Even if the numbers situation was reversed I'd still be just as selective about who I get naked with. I'm fussy like that
Hmnn, if your pool of available desirable men shrunk by 90% then either you won't be getting naked in company as much or reassessing your criteria."
My pool of available desirable people has shrunk by over 99%.
I have a lot of early nights. All good. |
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"Just make your point O.P. or this thread will grow to the death of 175 with us never knowing.
What is it you really want to say ?
Nope ... It's a guessing game "
That’s the issue … to much game playing on here |
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"Because (some, not all) men are dickheads.
I was only telling someone today how exhausting it can be dealing with them on here.
It takes such little effort to be decent and genuine, yet they fall at the first hurdle.
This is a complex one. Because most women, do indeed like dickheads. Or at least at attracted to them, the whole nice guys finish last mantra.
I don’t think that’s true in this context. A Fab dickhead is likely to be entitled, disrespectful, inconsistent and think it’s ok to treat you like a sl*g because they’ve met you on here. I don’t know any woman who finds that attractive.
Sone women like a ‘bad boy’ but that not the same as a dickhead. "
My job without giving too much away involves a lot of modern day dating research. Obviously it's not all but a general problem occuring is many women are in their 30s single because they have been attracted to bad boys, therefore dickheads, in their 20s and found many men are taken the older they get.
It depends how people define dickhead and even badboy, but another general trait seems to be that people are attracted to confident cheeky people however that may be perceived, as opposed to nice - hi, how are you? Vibes |
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"Because (some, not all) men are dickheads.
I was only telling someone today how exhausting it can be dealing with them on here.
It takes such little effort to be decent and genuine, yet they fall at the first hurdle.
This is a complex one. Because most women, do indeed like dickheads. Or at least at attracted to them, the whole nice guys finish last mantra.
I don’t think that’s true in this context. A Fab dickhead is likely to be entitled, disrespectful, inconsistent and think it’s ok to treat you like a sl*g because they’ve met you on here. I don’t know any woman who finds that attractive.
Sone women like a ‘bad boy’ but that not the same as a dickhead.
My job without giving too much away involves a lot of modern day dating research. Obviously it's not all but a general problem occuring is many women are in their 30s single because they have been attracted to bad boys, therefore dickheads, in their 20s and found many men are taken the older they get.
It depends how people define dickhead and even badboy, but another general trait seems to be that people are attracted to confident cheeky people however that may be perceived, as opposed to nice - hi, how are you? Vibes "
Yes I think it’s that. A confident, cheeky, charismatic person is generally more attractive as likely to succeed in the online dating/sex arena than a mousy, charmless person. The latter are usually the ones who categorise themselves as ‘nice’ |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm not struggling
There is no struggle because I don't actively look
I kinda fuck about in the forums and every so often, fend off the attention of some poor misguided soul who thought messaging me at past midnight was a good idea |
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"I joined Fab over three years ago. I only 'struggled' for the first month or so because I simply didn't understand this place and all the insurmountable crass, nuances and complexities.
I haven't sent an introductory message in almost two years and it's been a fulfilling experience in every favourable way.
It requires concerted effort, mental 'depth', intuition and patience when making and sustaining new connections on here.
I struggle with the spectres and stupidity that often lands in my inbox.
I'm not struggling otherwise.
·
I did apologise for messaging you "
•
I'm still waiting for you to a_eliorate the situation. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"It’s a numbers game and the odds are stacked much more in the women’s favour. They can be extremely selective as a result. It’s the nature of the site.
That’s before you even involve whether you fit what they find attractive. Although that can also be ruined by your bio, sent messages, pictures, distance, interests and not fitting in with their interests etc.
If something happens fine and if not life goes on.
Even if the numbers situation was reversed I'd still be just as selective about who I get naked with. I'm fussy like that
Hmnn, if your pool of available desirable men shrunk by 90% then either you won't be getting naked in company as much or reassessing your criteria.
I doubt that's ever happening "
Oh I doubt it too  |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"It’s a numbers game and the odds are stacked much more in the women’s favour. They can be extremely selective as a result. It’s the nature of the site.
That’s before you even involve whether you fit what they find attractive. Although that can also be ruined by your bio, sent messages, pictures, distance, interests and not fitting in with their interests etc.
If something happens fine and if not life goes on.
Even if the numbers situation was reversed I'd still be just as selective about who I get naked with. I'm fussy like that
Hmnn, if your pool of available desirable men shrunk by 90% then either you won't be getting naked in company as much or reassessing your criteria."
In answer to you no I wouldn't reassess my criteria at all.I don't fuck people I'm not attracted to,sex isn't the be all and end all to me.So if there was no one on here that I was attracted to I would rather use my vibrator than be less fussy about who
I'd meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Not exactly struggling but 3/4 way attraction is difficult and I won't settle for anyone I'm not attracted to.
Mrs"
I manage with 0.25 (metric) attraction, why can’t you? |
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"It’s a numbers game and the odds are stacked much more in the women’s favour. They can be extremely selective as a result. It’s the nature of the site.
That’s before you even involve whether you fit what they find attractive. Although that can also be ruined by your bio, sent messages, pictures, distance, interests and not fitting in with their interests etc.
If something happens fine and if not life goes on.
Even if the numbers situation was reversed I'd still be just as selective about who I get naked with. I'm fussy like that
Hmnn, if your pool of available desirable men shrunk by 90% then either you won't be getting naked in company as much or reassessing your criteria.
In answer to you no I wouldn't reassess my criteria at all.I don't fuck people I'm not attracted to,sex isn't the be all and end all to me.So if there was no one on here that I was attracted to I would rather use my vibrator than be less fussy about who
I'd meet. "
Right, lets break it down. First the probability of such a scenario isn't the point. The point I'm making is that in an different environment with different options, People will make different choices. As a species we're pretty good at adapting, there will always be individuals behind the curve.
It's not a gendered argument. If a mans options increased in the same proportion , his behaviour would likely change too
When I think about it this scenario probably will be playing out in Ukraine in the future and probably played out after WW1 and WW2.
|
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"It’s a numbers game and the odds are stacked much more in the women’s favour. They can be extremely selective as a result. It’s the nature of the site.
That’s before you even involve whether you fit what they find attractive. Although that can also be ruined by your bio, sent messages, pictures, distance, interests and not fitting in with their interests etc.
If something happens fine and if not life goes on.
Even if the numbers situation was reversed I'd still be just as selective about who I get naked with. I'm fussy like that
Hmnn, if your pool of available desirable men shrunk by 90% then either you won't be getting naked in company as much or reassessing your criteria.
In answer to you no I wouldn't reassess my criteria at all.I don't fuck people I'm not attracted to,sex isn't the be all and end all to me.So if there was no one on here that I was attracted to I would rather use my vibrator than be less fussy about who
I'd meet.
Right, lets break it down. First the probability of such a scenario isn't the point. The point I'm making is that in an different environment with different options, People will make different choices. As a species we're pretty good at adapting, there will always be individuals behind the curve.
It's not a gendered argument. If a mans options increased in the same proportion , his behaviour would likely change too
When I think about it this scenario probably will be playing out in Ukraine in the future and probably played out after WW1 and WW2.
"
Only because I have a lot of options my behaviour doesn't change, if I don't want to fuck someone then I don't want to fuck them whether I have 1000 other options or just them to choose from, I would rather stay at home and wank than make do with someone just for the sake of it |
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"It’s a numbers game and the odds are stacked much more in the women’s favour. They can be extremely selective as a result. It’s the nature of the site.
That’s before you even involve whether you fit what they find attractive. Although that can also be ruined by your bio, sent messages, pictures, distance, interests and not fitting in with their interests etc.
If something happens fine and if not life goes on.
Even if the numbers situation was reversed I'd still be just as selective about who I get naked with. I'm fussy like that
Hmnn, if your pool of available desirable men shrunk by 90% then either you won't be getting naked in company as much or reassessing your criteria.
In answer to you no I wouldn't reassess my criteria at all.I don't fuck people I'm not attracted to,sex isn't the be all and end all to me.So if there was no one on here that I was attracted to I would rather use my vibrator than be less fussy about who
I'd meet.
Right, lets break it down. First the probability of such a scenario isn't the point. The point I'm making is that in an different environment with different options, People will make different choices. As a species we're pretty good at adapting, there will always be individuals behind the curve.
It's not a gendered argument. If a mans options increased in the same proportion , his behaviour would likely change too
When I think about it this scenario probably will be playing out in Ukraine in the future and probably played out after WW1 and WW2.
"
It has never been about options for me on here.
I've had 60+ verifications across the 4 different profiles I've had in 6½ years but only 7 of those ever went beyond a social meet.
In every case that was my choice because I don't have sex just for the sake of it.
I haven't sent a message on here in more than 3 years because I'm fussy about who I speak to.
I've had lots of opportunities for sex with different women and turned most of them down because we weren't on the same wavelength, they had unreasonable expectations or I just wasn't attracted to them.
It has never been a numbers game either because I don't speak to women as a collective and I'm not competing with anyone.
Therefore numbers are irrelevant in my fab journey. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s a numbers game and the odds are stacked much more in the women’s favour. They can be extremely selective as a result. It’s the nature of the site.
That’s before you even involve whether you fit what they find attractive. Although that can also be ruined by your bio, sent messages, pictures, distance, interests and not fitting in with their interests etc.
If something happens fine and if not life goes on.
Even if the numbers situation was reversed I'd still be just as selective about who I get naked with. I'm fussy like that
Hmnn, if your pool of available desirable men shrunk by 90% then either you won't be getting naked in company as much or reassessing your criteria.
In answer to you no I wouldn't reassess my criteria at all.I don't fuck people I'm not attracted to,sex isn't the be all and end all to me.So if there was no one on here that I was attracted to I would rather use my vibrator than be less fussy about who
I'd meet.
Right, lets break it down. First the probability of such a scenario isn't the point. The point I'm making is that in an different environment with different options, People will make different choices. As a species we're pretty good at adapting, there will always be individuals behind the curve.
It's not a gendered argument. If a mans options increased in the same proportion , his behaviour would likely change too
When I think about it this scenario probably will be playing out in Ukraine in the future and probably played out after WW1 and WW2.
Only because I have a lot of options my behaviour doesn't change, if I don't want to fuck someone then I don't want to fuck them whether I have 1000 other options or just them to choose from, I would rather stay at home and wank than make do with someone just for the sake of it"
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Because (some, not all) men are dickheads.
I was only telling someone today how exhausting it can be dealing with them on here.
It takes such little effort to be decent and genuine, yet they fall at the first hurdle.
This is a complex one. Because most women, do indeed like dickheads. Or at least at attracted to them, the whole nice guys finish last mantra.
I don’t think that’s true in this context. A Fab dickhead is likely to be entitled, disrespectful, inconsistent and think it’s ok to treat you like a sl*g because they’ve met you on here. I don’t know any woman who finds that attractive.
Sone women like a ‘bad boy’ but that not the same as a dickhead. "
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Because (some, not all) men are dickheads.
I was only telling someone today how exhausting it can be dealing with them on here.
It takes such little effort to be decent and genuine, yet they fall at the first hurdle.
This is a complex one. Because most women, do indeed like dickheads. Or at least at attracted to them, the whole nice guys finish last mantra.
I don’t think that’s true in this context. A Fab dickhead is likely to be entitled, disrespectful, inconsistent and think it’s ok to treat you like a sl*g because they’ve met you on here. I don’t know any woman who finds that attractive.
Sone women like a ‘bad boy’ but that not the same as a dickhead. "
|
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By *oggoneMan
over a year ago
Derry |
"Because (some, not all) men are dickheads.
I was only telling someone today how exhausting it can be dealing with them on here.
It takes such little effort to be decent and genuine, yet they fall at the first hurdle.
This is a complex one. Because most women, do indeed like dickheads. Or at least at attracted to them, the whole nice guys finish last mantra.
I don’t think that’s true in this context. A Fab dickhead is likely to be entitled, disrespectful, inconsistent and think it’s ok to treat you like a sl*g because they’ve met you on here. I don’t know any woman who finds that attractive.
Sone women like a ‘bad boy’ but that not the same as a dickhead.
"
Hmmn my unscientific opinion would be a that venn diagram of bad boys and dickheads would be closer to circular than oval. |
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When someone interesting and exciting appears, that's a bonus. I'm not here because I need anything, and I don't have any expectations of anything coming from here.