I've just been messaged by a guy offering me a dirty meet in his hotel on Wednesday.
Leaving aside I make it clear on my profile I'm looking for something regular so he clearly hasn't read it or doesn't care. He says he's a single man looking for NSA fun but his profile picture shows him holding his phone with his left hand sporting a wedding ring!
Talk about shooting yourself in the foot  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
What's wrong with married men? I mean just because they are married are they meant to forgo natural urges when there wife hasn't got the same libido. I'd prefer to have fun else where than get divorced if I was married |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What's wrong with married men? I mean just because they are married are they meant to forgo natural urges when there wife hasn't got the same libido. I'd prefer to have fun else where than get divorced if I was married "
Nothing wrong about him being married but be honest about it don't lie in your profile and say you're single. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What's wrong with married men? I mean just because they are married are they meant to forgo natural urges when there wife hasn't got the same libido. I'd prefer to have fun else where than get divorced if I was married "
So lying and deception is better than divorce, I think the Mrs would feel different, the hurt and anguish that comes with cheating just so one can get their end away just isn't worth it in my opinion.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've just been messaged by a guy offering me a dirty meet in his hotel on Wednesday.
Leaving aside I make it clear on my profile I'm looking for something regular so he clearly hasn't read it or doesn't care. He says he's a single man looking for NSA fun but his profile picture shows him holding his phone with his left hand sporting a wedding ring!
Talk about shooting yourself in the foot "
If you are a Jezebel then you want someone else’s man. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've just been messaged by a guy offering me a dirty meet in his hotel on Wednesday.
Leaving aside I make it clear on my profile I'm looking for something regular so he clearly hasn't read it or doesn't care. He says he's a single man looking for NSA fun but his profile picture shows him holding his phone with his left hand sporting a wedding ring!
Talk about shooting yourself in the foot
If you are a Jezebel then you want someone else’s man. "
If you say so lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What's wrong with married men? I mean just because they are married are they meant to forgo natural urges when there wife hasn't got the same libido. I'd prefer to have fun else where than get divorced if I was married
Nothing wrong about him being married but be honest about it don't lie in your profile and say you're single."
Or lie even after you've asked explicitly and then a few months later be told yes they are actually married.
And if you are married or attached and make the choice to have sex outside of your relationships no problem. All I ask is for people to give me the respect to make fully informed choices about who I want to have sex with. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've just been messaged by a guy offering me a dirty meet in his hotel on Wednesday.
Leaving aside I make it clear on my profile I'm looking for something regular so he clearly hasn't read it or doesn't care. He says he's a single man looking for NSA fun but his profile picture shows him holding his phone with his left hand sporting a wedding ring!
Talk about shooting yourself in the foot "
Talk about thick as fuck. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What's wrong with married men? I mean just because they are married are they meant to forgo natural urges when there wife hasn't got the same libido. I'd prefer to have fun else where than get divorced if I was married
So lying and deception is better than divorce, I think the Mrs would feel different, the hurt and anguish that comes with cheating just so one can get their end away just isn't worth it in my opinion.
Mrs "
I'm not suggesting lying on a profile is right or that cheating is right but it always amazes me with this type of thread that people only ever mention hurt and anguish in relationship to the person who has been cheated on. Trust me, by the time many people turn to cheating they have been through many years of hurt and anguish. Similarly, while for some it may well be just about getting "their end away" (or whatever the female equivalent is) this is a gross over simplification for lots and it's an attitude that perpetuates the problem. When a person still feels the same way about their partner as the early days off their courtship is faced with a person who treats them as merely a provider (and that's not necessarily money but could simply be a provider of security, status or whatever) and offers them the same level of affection as the family pet it causes a huge amount of hurt. Unfortunately, the narrative you perpetuate is deeply ingrained so when this person tries to talk about their feelings it is inevitably twisted into an argument about sex. Although sex isn't the actual issue, as soon as the discussion/argument/row is framed in those terms they are shut down. They love their spouse, would never want to hurt them, certainly don't want them to fake enjoyment for their satisfaction so they end up being the one who just has to swallow the hurt and continue to try and act as though everything is normal.
I'm not condoning cheating but if you marry someone who once lit up when you walked in the room but has turned to someone who tuts in annoyance and lifts your hands off them the second you attempt to caress them in any intimate way, the hurt, the breaking of trust, the emotional damage is done, long before you go and stick you dick in someone else (or obviously the other way around when genders are reversed)
Maybe those who so readily condemn cheaters should spend a few minutes seriously considering how they would act if the partner who, right now, showers them with affection and intimacy slowly turned that tap off while simultaneously gaslighting them into believing they were the one with the problem. Made them believe that it was all the fault of their overactive sex drive. Just think how you would deal with a partner you still love and crave as strongly as the day you married but who gives you the cold shoulder day after day. It's easy to say you would walk away but would you really? Would you really walk away from your soul mate just because they didn't want sex with you (because that is what they will have convinced you is the problem)? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Maybe those who so readily condemn cheaters should spend a few minutes seriously considering how they would act if the partner who, right now, showers them with affection and intimacy slowly turned that tap off while simultaneously gaslighting them into believing they were the one with the problem. Made them believe that it was all the fault of their overactive sex drive. Just think how you would deal with a partner you still love and crave as strongly as the day you married but who gives you the cold shoulder day after day. It's easy to say you would walk away but would you really? Would you really walk away from your soul mate just because they didn't want sex with you (because that is what they will have convinced you is the problem)?"
I do know exactly what that is like 10 years of marriage... 7 years of which zero sex or touch.
I exhausted all avenues to communicate and begged for couples therapy .... got my own therapy ... I personally chose to not cheat ... instead I asked for a divorce.
I am not condemning married or attached people who play away without permission because I totally understand that it's complicated. I do however ask that people are honest and open and don't attempt to have sex with me by deception because they have lied about their marital status etc |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oo..Woman
over a year ago
Boo's World |
Reading your profile bio, no where does it actually state in writing "won't meet married men" so I'm confused and that's no doubt why that man messaged you to start with?
You need to add it to your bio  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
I am not condemning married or attached people who play away without permission because I totally understand that it's complicated. I do however ask that people are honest and open and don't attempt to have sex with me by deception because they have lied about their marital status etc "
Exactly this. I want to make up my own mind, rather than be dragged into an affair by deception and suffer the potential consequences. I've been there and felt like a right twat, as he got off me to answer his wife's phone call, answering as to why he wasn't coming home that night  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Maybe those who so readily condemn cheaters should spend a few minutes seriously considering how they would act if the partner who, right now, showers them with affection and intimacy slowly turned that tap off while simultaneously gaslighting them into believing they were the one with the problem. Made them believe that it was all the fault of their overactive sex drive. Just think how you would deal with a partner you still love and crave as strongly as the day you married but who gives you the cold shoulder day after day. It's easy to say you would walk away but would you really? Would you really walk away from your soul mate just because they didn't want sex with you (because that is what they will have convinced you is the problem)?
I do know exactly what that is like 10 years of marriage... 7 years of which zero sex or touch.
I exhausted all avenues to communicate and begged for couples therapy .... got my own therapy ... I personally chose to not cheat ... instead I asked for a divorce.
I am not condemning married or attached people who play away without permission because I totally understand that it's complicated. I do however ask that people are honest and open and don't attempt to have sex with me by deception because they have lied about their marital status etc "
I agree, no judgement but don't lie. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I've just been messaged by a guy offering me a dirty meet in his hotel on Wednesday.
Leaving aside I make it clear on my profile I'm looking for something regular so he clearly hasn't read it or doesn't care. He says he's a single man looking for NSA fun but his profile picture shows him holding his phone with his left hand sporting a wedding ring!
Talk about shooting yourself in the foot "
There are widowers out there you know, who don't want to remove the ring |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I am not condemning married or attached people who play away without permission because I totally understand that it's complicated. I do however ask that people are honest and open and don't attempt to have sex with me by deception because they have lied about their marital status etc
Exactly this. I want to make up my own mind, rather than be dragged into an affair by deception and suffer the potential consequences. I've been there and felt like a right twat, as he got off me to answer his wife's phone call, answering as to why he wasn't coming home that night "
That's awful! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What's wrong with married men? I mean just because they are married are they meant to forgo natural urges when there wife hasn't got the same libido. I'd prefer to have fun else where than get divorced if I was married
So lying and deception is better than divorce, I think the Mrs would feel different, the hurt and anguish that comes with cheating just so one can get their end away just isn't worth it in my opinion.
Mrs
I'm not suggesting lying on a profile is right or that cheating is right but it always amazes me with this type of thread that people only ever mention hurt and anguish in relationship to the person who has been cheated on. Trust me, by the time many people turn to cheating they have been through many years of hurt and anguish. Similarly, while for some it may well be just about getting "their end away" (or whatever the female equivalent is) this is a gross over simplification for lots and it's an attitude that perpetuates the problem. When a person still feels the same way about their partner as the early days off their courtship is faced with a person who treats them as merely a provider (and that's not necessarily money but could simply be a provider of security, status or whatever) and offers them the same level of affection as the family pet it causes a huge amount of hurt. Unfortunately, the narrative you perpetuate is deeply ingrained so when this person tries to talk about their feelings it is inevitably twisted into an argument about sex. Although sex isn't the actual issue, as soon as the discussion/argument/row is framed in those terms they are shut down. They love their spouse, would never want to hurt them, certainly don't want them to fake enjoyment for their satisfaction so they end up being the one who just has to swallow the hurt and continue to try and act as though everything is normal.
I'm not condoning cheating but if you marry someone who once lit up when you walked in the room but has turned to someone who tuts in annoyance and lifts your hands off them the second you attempt to caress them in any intimate way, the hurt, the breaking of trust, the emotional damage is done, long before you go and stick you dick in someone else (or obviously the other way around when genders are reversed)
Maybe those who so readily condemn cheaters should spend a few minutes seriously considering how they would act if the partner who, right now, showers them with affection and intimacy slowly turned that tap off while simultaneously gaslighting them into believing they were the one with the problem. Made them believe that it was all the fault of their overactive sex drive. Just think how you would deal with a partner you still love and crave as strongly as the day you married but who gives you the cold shoulder day after day. It's easy to say you would walk away but would you really? Would you really walk away from your soul mate just because they didn't want sex with you (because that is what they will have convinced you is the problem)?"
If all that shit is going on, they're not really a soul mate are they.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I try not to judge people. Honest people. Sexual identity? Preference? Marital status? Gender? Just be honest with yourself and then us Fab lot. Trust me it's better for you that way. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I am not condemning married or attached people who play away without permission because I totally understand that it's complicated. I do however ask that people are honest and open and don't attempt to have sex with me by deception because they have lied about their marital status etc
Exactly this. I want to make up my own mind, rather than be dragged into an affair by deception and suffer the potential consequences. I've been there and felt like a right twat, as he got off me to answer his wife's phone call, answering as to why he wasn't coming home that night "
Shout "because he's here fucking me!" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I am not condemning married or attached people who play away without permission because I totally understand that it's complicated. I do however ask that people are honest and open and don't attempt to have sex with me by deception because they have lied about their marital status etc
Exactly this. I want to make up my own mind, rather than be dragged into an affair by deception and suffer the potential consequences. I've been there and felt like a right twat, as he got off me to answer his wife's phone call, answering as to why he wasn't coming home that night "
OMFG that's awful what an enormous c*nt he was. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Wearing a ring on the ring finger doesn't necessarily mean that they are currently married to a living human.
I don't mind seeing married people, as long as their spouse gives enthusiastic consent.
I just don't want to deal with liars. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
A lot of people don't read profiles properly if at all. Also a lot of people pretend to be single...
Conclusion: there are some shitty people about...
Not allowing people to make an informed decision is just plain wrong in my book. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Im legally separated so sgl but I wear a wedding ring still - we’re great mates snd don’t envisage divorcing… certainly not any time soon - we go to family do’s together - we have 32 years of history together. It ultimately didn’t work out but … i have friends who are widowed who still wear wedding rings so that’s not always an indicator. That being said - it certainly requires an explanation… we shouldn’t always jump to what we think is the only conclusion…. That’s my 2p worth |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Im legally separated so sgl but I wear a wedding ring still - we’re great mates snd don’t envisage divorcing… certainly not any time soon - we go to family do’s together - we have 32 years of history together. It ultimately didn’t work out but … i have friends who are widowed who still wear wedding rings so that’s not always an indicator. That being said - it certainly requires an explanation… we shouldn’t always jump to what we think is the only conclusion…. That’s my 2p worth "
I have found that men in your situation (or widowed) are open about it. No need to ask for an explanation. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Im legally separated so sgl but I wear a wedding ring still - we’re great mates snd don’t envisage divorcing… certainly not any time soon - we go to family do’s together - we have 32 years of history together. It ultimately didn’t work out but … i have friends who are widowed who still wear wedding rings so that’s not always an indicator. That being said - it certainly requires an explanation… we shouldn’t always jump to what we think is the only conclusion…. That’s my 2p worth
I have found that men in your situation (or widowed) are open about it. No need to ask for an explanation. "
That is true xx I’m open about my situation. X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
