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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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It's just a vent. A waffle. But there's a question at the end
Where to start.. i moved here 10 years ago to start fresh from a bad relationship. My ex turned our friends against me. I had no one. I've had no contact for 10 years and out of the blue a few hours ago I got an email from him, bringing up things that happened 12 years ago and stating I'm the cause. I'm not, I had issues with him and personal hygiene but didn't tell a soul. The things he has brought up he knew because we argued before I left but he is now saying I told our friends behind his back and that's how he found out (combine this with some viscous name calling) Having read it over and over it's now made me realise why they turned on me. He did more damage than I realised. I've sat, pondered, and now I feel I did the right thing and I have the reasons why things happened the way they did. I have closure.
I know there's two sides to every story.
The question is
Have you experienced a moment of closure? |
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Hey, OP. Crikey, that’s quite a thing to experience (and I imagine that’s just the edited highlights!). I hope he hasn’t upset you and that you do genuinely have closure from him.
The only time I’ve ever wanted closure, was when the woman with whom I was completely in love inexplicably dumped me a week before Christmas. To this day I never got an explanation and it was the single most frustrating experience of my life.
I have since discovered that she died a couple of years back (long after we separated). Obviously that is incredibly sad but I often think how I’ll never now find out why. I feel selfish just typing that - I do not think that is more important than her losing her life - but still…. |
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By *hyme2020Woman
over a year ago
Glasgow Scotland |
Yes I had a moment of clarity and closure very recently actually. About a guy I met on here and got feelings for. We met for quite a long time and then he went back to his ex wife. Always maintained that he was going to stay faithful to her but still kept up a friendship with me, chatting anyway although said he wanted to still meet me. Wanted to have a sexual relationship with me and wasn’t interested in meeting anyone else apparently. I then found very recently he had a profile on here again which I found by chance saying he met when he was working away and had a sexy playmate etc etc. it had been on for over a year. I confronted him and he lied straight to my face about it and denied it all. I knew it was him and my moment of closure came a week ago when I realised the profile had blocked me without actually me ever contacting it. He then admitted it was him and it was all I needed to tell him to get out of my life and head once and for all. When someone knows that someone has had feelings for them and then uses it against them to some how keep them dangling, it’s not the type of person I want anything to do with any more. I don’t think he will ever realise how much he hurt me over the last 3 years! I hope his wife finds out. |
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Over the years I've realised that I'm more complex than I thought. I've shut off from things, with closure finally been got years later.
I'm a contradiction, a great communicator who can also be one of the worst. I've had commitment issues in the past and gone at things too fast. I'd like to think that I have learned and mellowed but by the same token have to keep myself busy to stay ahead of grief that I feel deeply after the loss of my brother a couple of years ago. I'm good at burying that deep within, but I should talk more, and accept and build other friendships and connections... |
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OP, Did you respond to your ex?...
In my younger days, I always sort closure (or my version of it - which was basically answers) I had this real need to know & understand everything. Talk bout hard work lol.
Nowadays I readily accept that some people are not who they pretend to be and their issues are theirs & that's the end of that...
 |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"OP, Did you respond to your ex?...
In my younger days, I always sort closure (or my version of it - which was basically answers) I had this real need to know & understand everything. Talk bout hard work lol.
Nowadays I readily accept that some people are not who they pretend to be and their issues are theirs & that's the end of that...
"
I thought about it but no, and I don't intend to. I feel like it would just be entertainment for him/ them. 10 years on and the silly games they still play and I won't be a part of it. I've grown
(In everyway lol) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Hey, OP. Crikey, that’s quite a thing to experience (and I imagine that’s just the edited highlights!). I hope he hasn’t upset you and that you do genuinely have closure from him.
The only time I’ve ever wanted closure, was when the woman with whom I was completely in love inexplicably dumped me a week before Christmas. To this day I never got an explanation and it was the single most frustrating experience of my life.
I have since discovered that she died a couple of years back (long after we separated). Obviously that is incredibly sad but I often think how I’ll never now find out why. I feel selfish just typing that - I do not think that is more important than her losing her life - but still…."
I'm not upset, I just had a funny half hour of wtf, pacing, then I worked it out and just breathed it out.
I'm sorry that you were in that situation, I don't think it's a selfish thing to want to know. X |
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