 |
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
It does happen for many reasons.
Imagine you'd grown a small human inside you, and pushed it out while in immense pain.
Then there's the hormones and effect pregnancy and childbirth has on the muscles, nerves, bones and skin.
Not to mention the responsibility of keeping a living thing alive and healthy, while looking after the house and family.
Sex is quite low on the list of priorities.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"even a whole year later it seems like she just can't get in the mood. . . Or it's just me."
Dear OP, its definitely you ... because if you got off here and listened and communicated with her you might understand a little of the upheaval pregnancy and a new body plus caring for a young baby does to a woman. If you genuinely love her and your child get off here and don't try fucking other people. Otherwise you are risking losing everything... of course she may already know and be biding her time ...
Physically my body has never been the same .... largely thanks to 2 csections and the scare. After my first my ex was pestering me within a couple of weeks and frankly I gave in but it was painful and uncomfortable so after that I said no also because I had a young na yneith sleep and feeding issues and I was exhausted. I kept on saying no because he had this air of entitlement and demanding his right to fuck .... eventually he took that entitlement elsewhere and then spent the next 16 years seeing his child every other weekend and paying maintenance. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
When you say “shared responsibilities”…how much is actually shared?
Your partner went through an immense life changing event (you as well but let’s be honest the impact on her is higher). And taking care of a baby is no walk in the park.
Sex was literally not a priority at all whenever I had a child.
Doesn’t help you’re on here rather than taking care of your offspring. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Appreciate all the replies/ comments. It was fully conventual, she knows I'm here (she used to me too). But we are committed. I.e. I haven't cheated on her nor done anything she isn't aware of or approved... Really just wanted to gain an insight from a third party prospective...
We chat about this. She fobs it off a little so trying to fill in the blanks |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
And another thing I get it. You're feeling rejected, it's been a year, you were previously the main focus now you're not. It's very difficult for men and people aren't terribly understanding.
All I can suggest is that you have a good talk to your partner. Explain how you're feeling ask her how she's feeling (and listen). Then come up with a plan between you to give you both a little time together as partners. Sex might not happen for a while but if you can feel like lovers instead of mum and dad it might deepen your intimacy. Be aware that to do this you will need to ensure that all parental worries are taken care of so that neither of you are thinking about what hasn't been or will need to be done and that might involve some planning on your part. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Cooking cleaning bed times bath times. I'm fully there as much as possible.even changed job for less money to be able to spend more time with them. "
How much are you involved in care of the baby? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Being mum is fucking hard work, it's exhausting, draining and just mentally numbing especially the 1st year, your life revolves around your child.
We did have sex however finding the energy was hard on so little sleep.
If your struggling help out, take some night shifts take her on a date, don't join fab and spend your time perving elsewhere, distractions are easily noticed and it's not nice for the one sat at home.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
For me Yes, babies mentally and physically drain energy, took me 18 months before I was remotely interested in sex again, but being a single parent whilst being in a relationship put me right off him tbh.
All you can do is communicate with her. Good luck OP
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
