FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > I need 4 new women in my life…
I need 4 new women in my life…
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Absolutely yes. Surely that is what swinging is, right?
I wouldn't be exclusive with anyone on here. I'm here for fun, exploration and different experiences. |
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There's being open and then there's being secretive about being open. 
My only concern is if the person is willing to put the time into developing a connection with me. If not then I will lose interest. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"There's being open and then there's being secretive about being open.
My only concern is if the person is willing to put the time into developing a connection with me. If not then I will lose interest."
Do you prioritise that person? |
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I don't think of it as keeping options open.
I just make sure it's clear I'm not looking for cohabitation or The One. And that I fully intend to continue seeing my partners however things work out.
I'm certainly not shopping around for the best option to nail down, which is what that phrase always implied to me.
I like having my freedom. I like my partners to have their own lives away from mine  |
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"I don't think of it as keeping options open.
I just make sure it's clear I'm not looking for cohabitation or The One. And that I fully intend to continue seeing my partners however things work out.
I'm certainly not shopping around for the best option to nail down, which is what that phrase always implied to me.
I like having my freedom. I like my partners to have their own lives away from mine "
 |
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I’m not looking for any sort of exclusivity and therefore I would never expect it from anyone I meet.
I’m always really honest that I’m not looking for a singular person, but my meets are private so the details are not something I share. |
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"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are
upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it? "
Another great survey thread keep up the good work your research is most interesting . |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are
upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it?
Another great survey thread keep up the good work your research is most interesting ."
Will you mark my work when I’m finished?  |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
I had multiple buddies for years and it does get complicated. Some don't mind hearing of others, some do. Some meet others, others don't. Some say they don't mind knowing when they do. When you change plans to meet someone who is expecting to is when it starts getting difficult. All a learning curve and tying not to get ahead of yourself but huge fun along the way. |
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"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are
upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it?
Another great survey thread keep up the good work your research is most interesting .
Will you mark my work when I’m finished? "
Happy to do so previous threads have been worthy of top marks . |
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"There's being open and then there's being secretive about being open.
….
That’s really good. And thats deception. And deception can hurt. "
Agreed the deception is the part that hurts the most, I find. |
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By *unner6969Man
over a year ago
Bucks/London/Oxford |
"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it? "
Why “4”? Seems very specific…. |
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"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it?
Why “4”? Seems very specific…."
It's a nice square number and 9 is too many |
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"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it?
Why “4”? Seems very specific….
It's a nice square number and 9 is too many "
9 is a square number too  |
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"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it?
Why “4”? Seems very specific….
It's a nice square number and 9 is too many
9 is a square number too "
I know, that's why I said 9 is too many as it's next square number after 4 |
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"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it?
Why “4”? Seems very specific….
It's a nice square number and 9 is too many
9 is a square number too
I know, that's why I said 9 is too many as it's next square number after 4"
You could Fibonacci this shiz! 
J |
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"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it?
Why “4”? Seems very specific….
It's a nice square number and 9 is too many
9 is a square number too
I know, that's why I said 9 is too many as it's next square number after 4
You could Fibonacci this shiz!
J"
Calm down, it's a Sunday  |
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Am I ok being one of many? Yes, we're all grown up and know the deal; I would expect that to be the case with anyone I met on Fab. I don't particularly want too much detail so I'm not quite in the "so long as they tell me" camp; what they do in their time is up to them.
But do I sometimes also compare myself unfavorably to "the many" and decide not to pursue something or that we're not a match? Also yes. |
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Anyway back to the original post. It's different for us as a couple. We're not seeking exclusivity and as such would never expect it.
If I was single, I think it would be the same unless there was a mutual agreement after meeting. I can imagine it might on occasions be difficult if one party wanted more than the other though.
J |
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We couldn’t care less how many people are play friends or potential play friends are meeting as long as they make us feel like we are the only ones when together or chatting, like we do with them.
Some people can make you feel like you’re the only one in chats, others can’t and it’s obvious they are spinning plates and keeping a chat going with one word answers…they don’t last long
K |
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"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it?
Why “4”? Seems very specific….
It's a nice square number and 9 is too many
9 is a square number too
I know, that's why I said 9 is too many as it's next square number after 4
You could Fibonacci this shiz!
J"
I think that's actually the best answer. Ride the wave and all that. |
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I think it's absolutely fine! It's not like we're known to be strict monogamists around here anyway.
The only thing I don't like is having multiple people lined up for the same meet... Unless it's a group meet obviously 
This didn't happen to me, but a friend. He was in the car, halfway to meet someone when they messaged him telling him not to come because they'd decided to meet someone else.
Thing is, the guy they picked ended up having "car trouble", so they messaged my friend again an hour later asking if he still wanted to meet!  |
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I am happy being one of many and encourage them to do the same, some won't, some do. But in our group, we are honest about who and when we are meeting and spread equal time amongst each other. No one person is favoured above anybody else. Regardless of the distance from each other. We are all special and nurtured |
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By *unner6969Man
over a year ago
Bucks/London/Oxford |
"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it?
Why “4”? Seems very specific….
It's a nice square number and 9 is too many
9 is a square number too
I know, that's why I said 9 is too many as it's next square number after 4
You could Fibonacci this shiz!
J
I think that's actually the best answer. Ride the wave and all that."
So, 4 lovers? I was wondering whether you meant something like “3 family members (mother, wife and daughter) plus 1 lover.” Wife can be a lover too, of course (but definitely not the other two!) |
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"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it? "
Quite happy to accept this as part of the lifestyle. What I’d really like is to meet a fwb and find myself in a situation where we both really like each other, aren’t interested in a full blown relationship, but just want to shag each other and no one else (unless maybe it’s to invite a third in when we’re together).
Hopefully it would satisfy us both and remove the desire to hunt around. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's only right to be honest with people about who and when you last fucked, I prefer to have a couple of fwb rather than one off's, but I suppose even the fwb had to start somewhere......
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By *weetCruellaWoman
over a year ago
somewhere sweet and sour |
Quite happy to have a fwb or 2 or 3 .... unless I do decide to go to a club then for me its a free for all lmao.
But I have no desire to stop fwb seeing others. Upto them what they do but be honest about it... if I know a fwb has been playing with others, I actually find it a turn on and the one fwb I currently has loves it when I've met someone and had some yummy sex then meet up with him later or next day lol. I think people have sometimes the right intention of being on here, but wrong time to be looking for casual sex ... but hey ho thats just my opinion lol....
Anyway back to church *whistles*
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it?
Quite happy to accept this as part of the lifestyle. What I’d really like is to meet a fwb and find myself in a situation where we both really like each other, aren’t interested in a full blown relationship, but just want to shag each other and no one else (unless maybe it’s to invite a third in when we’re together).
Hopefully it would satisfy us both and remove the desire to hunt around."
So you want a relationship? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it?
Why “4”? Seems very specific….
It's a nice square number and 9 is too many
9 is a square number too
I know, that's why I said 9 is too many as it's next square number after 4
You could Fibonacci this shiz!
J
I think that's actually the best answer. Ride the wave and all that.
So, 4 lovers? I was wondering whether you meant something like “3 family members (mother, wife and daughter) plus 1 lover.” Wife can be a lover too, of course (but definitely not the other two!)"
Scottish - Welsh - English - Irish |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We couldn’t care less how many people are play friends or potential play friends are meeting as long as they make us feel like we are the only ones when together or chatting, like we do with them.
Some people can make you feel like you’re the only one in chats, others can’t and it’s obvious they are spinning plates and keeping a chat going with one word answers…they don’t last long
K"
Actually, I can relate to this. |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
I'm more than happy for people I'm meeting to be meeting others, it's not my place to moan or stop them from what makes them happy.
I'm happy knowing they are meeting someone particularly if it's a reason they cannot meet me (honesty is key) but I definitely don't need details! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't expect exclusivity. I'm not looking for it either. I'm enjoying being single.
I do however give and want respect.
If I'm with someone I want to be certain they aren't mentally wishing they were somewhere else.
I want that lost in the moment stuff.
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
"I don't expect exclusivity. I'm not looking for it either. I'm enjoying being single.
I do however give and want respect.
If I'm with someone I want to be certain they aren't mentally wishing they were somewhere else.
I want that lost in the moment stuff.
"
As usual MsWyld explained it better than me!! I'm off to try and get my brain to brain today  |
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"I don't expect exclusivity. I'm not looking for it either. I'm enjoying being single.
I do however give and want respect.
If I'm with someone I want to be certain they aren't mentally wishing they were somewhere else.
I want that lost in the moment stuff.
"
That's an awesome way of putting it. Cheers  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't expect exclusivity. I'm not looking for it either. I'm enjoying being single.
I do however give and want respect.
If I'm with someone I want to be certain they aren't mentally wishing they were somewhere else.
I want that lost in the moment stuff.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it? "
If I'm one of many I won't meet them. Public veris and chatting about other people they're fucking = fuck off. |
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Personally I hate when men blag how many women they seeing and I'm one of the many. I would just cut all ties with them. There should be a moral code about what you disclose to your lover, regardless whether you're in a ENM relationship. If she loves hearing about it, that's fine but permission should be asked before bragging. |
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"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it? "
Too true Woody my options are open  |
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"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it?
Quite happy to accept this as part of the lifestyle. What I’d really like is to meet a fwb and find myself in a situation where we both really like each other, aren’t interested in a full blown relationship, but just want to shag each other and no one else (unless maybe it’s to invite a third in when we’re together).
Hopefully it would satisfy us both and remove the desire to hunt around.
So you want a relationship? "
Isn't a fwb a relationship? |
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"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it?
Quite happy to accept this as part of the lifestyle. What I’d really like is to meet a fwb and find myself in a situation where we both really like each other, aren’t interested in a full blown relationship, but just want to shag each other and no one else (unless maybe it’s to invite a third in when we’re together).
Hopefully it would satisfy us both and remove the desire to hunt around.
So you want a relationship?
Isn't a fwb a relationship? "
nope its a club |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it?
Quite happy to accept this as part of the lifestyle. What I’d really like is to meet a fwb and find myself in a situation where we both really like each other, aren’t interested in a full blown relationship, but just want to shag each other and no one else (unless maybe it’s to invite a third in when we’re together).
Hopefully it would satisfy us both and remove the desire to hunt around.
So you want a relationship?
Isn't a fwb a relationship? "
A friend without benefits is also a relationship.
I meant -“ but just want to shag each other and no one else” this part sounds explusive. |
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"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it?
Quite happy to accept this as part of the lifestyle. What I’d really like is to meet a fwb and find myself in a situation where we both really like each other, aren’t interested in a full blown relationship, but just want to shag each other and no one else (unless maybe it’s to invite a third in when we’re together).
Hopefully it would satisfy us both and remove the desire to hunt around.
So you want a relationship?
Isn't a fwb a relationship?
A friend without benefits is also a relationship.
I meant -“ but just want to shag each other and no one else” this part sounds explusive. "
yes banging is explosive |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it?
Quite happy to accept this as part of the lifestyle. What I’d really like is to meet a fwb and find myself in a situation where we both really like each other, aren’t interested in a full blown relationship, but just want to shag each other and no one else (unless maybe it’s to invite a third in when we’re together).
Hopefully it would satisfy us both and remove the desire to hunt around.
So you want a relationship?
Isn't a fwb a relationship?
A friend without benefits is also a relationship.
I meant -“ but just want to shag each other and no one else” this part sounds explusive. yes banging is explosive "
Wait. Do we talk to FWB ? Or just bang em’?
Have I got what Felix meant completely wrong? |
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"Are you okay being one of many?
I can be alone in knowing that the person you might get to meet up with (on Fab) is also talking and planning on meeting others…unless they tell you otherwise and are upfront.
‘Keeping options open!’ Is common isn’t it?
Quite happy to accept this as part of the lifestyle. What I’d really like is to meet a fwb and find myself in a situation where we both really like each other, aren’t interested in a full blown relationship, but just want to shag each other and no one else (unless maybe it’s to invite a third in when we’re together).
Hopefully it would satisfy us both and remove the desire to hunt around.
So you want a relationship?
Isn't a fwb a relationship?
A friend without benefits is also a relationship.
I meant -“ but just want to shag each other and no one else” this part sounds explusive. yes banging is explosive
Wait. Do we talk to FWB ? Or just bang em’?
Have I got what Felix meant completely wrong? "
FWB........ Female went bang! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Personally I hate when men blag how many women they seeing and I'm one of the many. I would just cut all ties with them. There should be a moral code about what you disclose to your lover, regardless whether you're in a ENM relationship. If she loves hearing about it, that's fine but permission should be asked before bragging."
If he tells everyone about them he will also be telling everyone about me. Hell no. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Personally I hate when men blag how many women they seeing and I'm one of the many. I would just cut all ties with them. There should be a moral code about what you disclose to your lover, regardless whether you're in a ENM relationship. If she loves hearing about it, that's fine but permission should be asked before bragging.
If he tells everyone about them he will also be telling everyone about me. Hell no. "
What an ENm? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Just 1 for regular forays in the wonders of the world would be nice tbh.
With 4 I'd just confuse myself and end up with none again "
I’d forget their names. |
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"Personally I hate when men blag how many women they seeing and I'm one of the many. I would just cut all ties with them. There should be a moral code about what you disclose to your lover, regardless whether you're in a ENM relationship. If she loves hearing about it, that's fine but permission should be asked before bragging.
If he tells everyone about them he will also be telling everyone about me. Hell no.
What an ENm? "
Ethnical Non Monogamy |
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"Just 1 for regular forays in the wonders of the world would be nice tbh.
With 4 I'd just confuse myself and end up with none again
I’d forget their names. "
Oh I'd remember names, but I'd definitely call one of them by one of the others names at some point.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Personally I hate when men blag how many women they seeing and I'm one of the many. I would just cut all ties with them. There should be a moral code about what you disclose to your lover, regardless whether you're in a ENM relationship. If she loves hearing about it, that's fine but permission should be asked before bragging.
If he tells everyone about them he will also be telling everyone about me. Hell no.
What an ENm?
Ethnical Non Monogamy "
Ah. thank you. |
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