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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Something has recently happened and I’m at a loss.
The finer details don’t matter, they are personal, but the question is how do you deal with emotions in swinging.
The opening of body and mind to have it closed in your face.
In some ways I admire those that can just have sex without needing a mental connection.
I can’t, therefore I’m not sure that it’s for me anymore |
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If it's causing you hurt you might be right. Why continue with a voluntary pass time that's making you unhappy?
A lot of people can form a mental connection with those they have sex with but are able to compartmentalise.
Is it possible you're looking for more? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a couple we don’t want or need a connection with the people we meet. If we thought someone was becoming emotionally involved we would cut off all contact. If this is what has happened to you then I do sympathise with you but situations like that just complicate things. |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
It can happen to anyone even poly people. And even with clear boundaries and especially when not looking. You just meet someone and think aha this is something else , it changes things. Nothing was missing before but you found something potentially better that you didn’t know existed. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You can have love with sex, you can have love without sex and you can have sex ( a bodily need) without love .
So, just think it's a treat to have sex without love. After all, your loved ones are still there if you both are happy. Leave the emotions at the door to pick up on way out. I adore my partner of nearly 40 years but we do our own thing and there's no jealousy. No one will ever become between us. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's quite easy for emotions to become hightened especially when there's sex involved and sometimes people can confuse true emotion with lust. I care about people of course, but always try to disconnent the two. Clear boundaries, expectations and being honest about what you can offer us important. As well as the understanding of stepping away if they can't be stuck too. I like to say I'm an open book with a few pages missing, my whole world isn't open to them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Something has recently happened and I’m at a loss.
The finer details don’t matter, they are personal, but the question is how do you deal with emotions in swinging.
The opening of body and mind to have it closed in your face.
In some ways I admire those that can just have sex without needing a mental connection.
I can’t, therefore I’m not sure that it’s for me anymore "
And if it's not for you, fine. Just stop. Other ways to relieve yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people don't want, or aren't looking for a meaningful connection...
It sounds like you do want a meaningful connection, I'm the same. I like to get lost in the moment and without knowing the person I'm with vibes with me in the same way..well, it's just not the same.
I'd rather have no sex than sex with someone without these feelings.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think what I’d do is start a thread and leave the site 11 minutes later."
Ooft, harsh!!!  
To answer th OP. (If they read this), it’s interesting, I need to like someone to get naked with them, I then need to really like them to want to share some sexy sensual or filthy hard sex with them. But developing feelings of what might feel like some sort of love is beyond planning. You can’t know that would happen. So, take some time to reflect. Maybe talk to who else is involved.
For some, sex is not just sex, for some it is. But what and where in the whole scheme of things feeling and what those feeling are will be different for everyone. waffle, I know.  |
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