FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > When do you know?
When do you know?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So when you start chatting to someone new, when do you know when theres no chemisty or its not clicking or even they are just gonna waste your time?
For me within 2 to 3 messages and i can sus if im into them or not or even if they arent feeling me. |
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"So when you start chatting to someone new, when do you know when theres no chemisty or its not clicking or even they are just gonna waste your time?
For me within 2 to 3 messages and i can sus if im into them or not or even if they arent feeling me."
same within a couple of messages mostly . if meeting at as social I generally know within the first 1minute if its going to be a waste of time ultimately . you just vibe almost instantly with the right people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I find the messages flow really well. then it kinda fizzles out. If I like the person I'll send a follow up message in a few days to see how they are but if nothing I leave them alone |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I find the messages flow really well. then it kinda fizzles out. If I like the person I'll send a follow up message in a few days to see how they are but if nothing I leave them alone"
Tha is a respectful way of doing things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There's no flow and I'm the one carrying the conversation. Pretty quickly someone can go from really interesting to really boring, I haven't got the patience for it these days so will just cut it if it's going no where. |
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All the depends on how open they are. Where the conversation goes.
Whether the are interested in me or just how interested I am in them. That's probably the point I start to lose interest, if it feels like that. |
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About 99% of messages received on here are an instant no for me.
Some take a little longer to click that it's a no go for me.
I usually know pretty early if it's someone I would like to meet in the flesh, but even then I don't put any stake in it until I've met them in person. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When they keep giving me dead one sentence replies I’m out
I thought that’s how people communicated here. It’s all I get, even when someone initiates contact. "
One sentence replies are clear signifiers of no interest to me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've been here on and off 9 years and I learned early on that most people apparently seem compatible online.
The moment chat verges into smut, or they direct straight into meeting for "fun", it's goodbye from me - same applies where the chap wants to take chat away from here to SC or Kik suchlike, which I no longer do.
Previously however, where the chat has been sustaibed her on Fab and it's reached a point where we meet socially, I usually know during that meeting things aren't going to progress. |
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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago
for a penny |
"When they keep giving me dead one sentence replies I’m out
I thought that’s how people communicated here. It’s all I get, even when someone initiates contact.
One sentence replies are clear signifiers of no interest to me. "
As you would expect, but it seems to be the pattern that I get a message or a wink then it goes all monosyllabic on their side |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Immediately but sometimes it fades after a day or two, a week.
You just know, being left on read, double parked messages, short one word replies.
I'm usually quick to move on. Efficiency and ruthlessness aren't bad traits to have here, despite some people's objections. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never really know until I've met someone in person, got on great with people online, but it's been a massive no in real life, and vice versa."
Also this.
I stand by the view that nothing counts or is real until you are sat opposite each other over coffee.
And even then, thats only slightly more tangible. Things can still go off the boil at the next stage. |
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"So when you start chatting to someone new, when do you know when theres no chemisty or its not clicking or even they are just gonna waste your time?
For me within 2 to 3 messages and i can sus if im into them or not or even if they arent feeling me."
If there’s never going to be chemistry between us I know immediately. There will be something about their profile or messages that puts me off (or vice versa).
Otherwise it usually takes me a while to work someone out and establish whether we’re ever going to meet. And then it can go either way - socials are an opportunity to discover someone’s true personality.
On meeting someone, I know immediately whether or not I fancy them. But they can still be boring as hell! |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Usually within exchanging a few messages I would have an idea if I think I want to meet them later on or usually if I don't.
In person I know within a minute or so if I want to take it farther or not. |
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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago
The dot in the i |
Usually pretty quickly, some faster than others, it’s just whenever they objectify rather then speak like I’m as human as they are, when it all becomes sex and innuendo and stops being any kind of actual conversation
I get it, this is a swinger site but it’s a human swinger site, humans, not holes to poke  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Usually pretty quickly, some faster than others, it’s just whenever they objectify rather then speak like I’m as human as they are, when it all becomes sex and innuendo and stops being any kind of actual conversation
I get it, this is a swinger site but it’s a human swinger site, humans, not holes to poke "
Totally agree. I get we are here to swing and ideally have sex but minute I feel like I am just a pussy and some tits then I lose interest. And especially when people are pushing to meet in first few messages. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So when you start chatting to someone new, when do you know when theres no chemisty or its not clicking or even they are just gonna waste your time?
For me within 2 to 3 messages and i can sus if im into them or not or even if they arent feeling me."
How can you tell?? What are the tell ,tell signs? Or wording? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just before the first message…
I'm the same.
If they reply I'm shocked "
I become flustered and lose all frail of thoughts….it’s like being on the receiving end of a miracle  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When they keep giving me dead one sentence replies I’m out
I thought that’s how people communicated here. It’s all I get, even when someone initiates contact. "
Lol about to say just that.
Its a total minefield. Tbh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When they treat you more like a confessional/pillow to cry on/boost of the day, than an object of desire.
T"
thought object of desire. Was just cattle meat!!
I messaged one on here. I asked what do you bring to the table?
Me!! Followed by a X.
I then replyed is that all.
WTF.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I never really know until I've met someone in person, got on great with people online, but it's been a massive no in real life, and vice versa.
Also this.
I stand by the view that nothing counts or is real until you are sat opposite each other over coffee.
And even then, thats only slightly more tangible. Things can still go off the boil at the next stage."
110% online is a fantasy show. |
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Pretty much from the first message or reply.
If the profile is basic, dick pics and/or message is just basic, then it’s not going to go anywhere.
One word replies, not asking questions to carry on conversations are like pulling teeth.
When the conversation flows, answers are thought through and the level stays high, that’s when it’s exciting…
A good conversation is seemingly a dying art…so when it happens, it’s fantastic.
K |
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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago
The dot in the i |
"Usually pretty quickly, some faster than others, it’s just whenever they objectify rather then speak like I’m as human as they are, when it all becomes sex and innuendo and stops being any kind of actual conversation
I get it, this is a swinger site but it’s a human swinger site, humans, not holes to poke
Totally agree. I get we are here to swing and ideally have sex but minute I feel like I am just a pussy and some tits then I lose interest. And especially when people are pushing to meet in first few messages. "
Absolutely! Their rush is a great filter for me |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Usually pretty quickly, some faster than others, it’s just whenever they objectify rather then speak like I’m as human as they are, when it all becomes sex and innuendo and stops being any kind of actual conversation
I get it, this is a swinger site but it’s a human swinger site, humans, not holes to poke "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When they treat you more like a confessional/pillow to cry on/boost of the day, than an object of desire.
T thought object of desire. Was just cattle meat!!
I messaged one on here. I asked what do you bring to the table?
Me!! Followed by a X.
I then replyed is that all.
WTF.
"
I think th reply to your "what do you bring to the table?" was pretty funny. I would definitely have carried on the banter after that. |
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By *mf123Man
over a year ago
with one foot out the door |
I used to have a 7 message flow rule if you can send 7 flirty messages back and forth and the flow is natural not manufactured like your booking a car rental then your onto a winner by message 8 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When they treat you more like a confessional/pillow to cry on/boost of the day, than an object of desire.
T thought object of desire. Was just cattle meat!!
I messaged one on here. I asked what do you bring to the table?
Me!! Followed by a X.
I then replyed is that all.
WTF.
I think th reply to your "what do you bring to the table?" was pretty funny. I would definitely have carried on the banter after that. "
Have you had that, ??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Pretty much from the first message or reply.
If the profile is basic, dick pics and/or message is just basic, then it’s not going to go anywhere.
One word replies, not asking questions to carry on conversations are like pulling teeth.
When the conversation flows, answers are thought through and the level stays high, that’s when it’s exciting…
A good conversation is seemingly a dying art…so when it happens, it’s fantastic.
K"
Its dead and buried in my opnion!
We had to have game gift of the gab flow and style with words,flirt or your " dry or lame "
Like if you could not dance!
My thoughts and opinion anyway.  |
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