FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Do you check distance?
Do you check distance?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Before messaging someone?
I've traveled over 200 miles across the country and the people In my inbox don't seem to have checked my distance.
Do you check before you message? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never message people first but I do check distance if someone messages me
I'm always surprised when folk 100+ miles away find my profile from a sea of literally thousands of single blokes here |
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I roughly base it around an hour ish max drive , unless it’s clear they are travelling work and in hotel or I am travelling elsewhere but then I would just change my location temporarily to where I am if was looking to meet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On random browsing yeah, I apply a realistic filter of distance.
However, there are times you meet someone via the forums and you click.
Is the distance a bit overwhelming, or off putting, initially yes, but, I think most things can be worked out for the right people.
I'd rather spend a few hours or more in the car for a fantastic night or weekend, than stay local and be miserable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Before messaging someone?
I've traveled over 200 miles across the country and the people In my inbox don't seem to have checked my distance.
Do you check before you message?"
Yes we do, ideally looking for locals but if people are happy to travel then we are happy with that, especially slim, petite ladies x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Before messaging someone?
I've traveled over 200 miles across the country and the people In my inbox don't seem to have checked my distance.
Do you check before you message?
Yes we do, ideally looking for locals but if people are happy to travel then we are happy with that, especially slim, petite ladies x"
How far would you travel to a fat old trout?  |
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Upto 60 miles, it's not so much the travelling there, its the travelling back if you don't stay over.
Ideally your get together go's well, you shag all night into the early hours, then have a few hours drive back, I have done it in the past but now am more sensible I'd rather not be doing a 2-3 hour drive after shagging all night and being awake for 18-24 hours |
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I don't send first contact messages so distance is irrelevant.
When I receive a message I might check to see where they are from.
Regardless, even when I am actually meeting I won't travel more than an hour due to previous expectations that I'd driven 3½ hours once so there was nothing to stop me doing it on a regular basis.
I've told the story here before about a couple asking to meet me in an hotel the following day.
I referred them to my profile and they apologised saying they were happy to meet socially first and they would buy the coffee.
What about the plane tickets? I then asked.
What plane tickets?
The ones I'm going to need to get to the USA where you are! |
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Realitybites
The boarder is around an hour away am guessing? I know this will sound a nieve question to you, but have you experienced anyone from either side that won't cross the border for a meet?
Fuck the politics but if am driving for a meet and the speed limit changes to KPH and the road signs are in kilometres, am guessing I have gone to far |
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"Realitybites
The boarder is around an hour away am guessing? I know this will sound a nieve question to you, but have you experienced anyone from either side that won't cross the border for a meet?
Fuck the politics but if am driving for a meet and the speed limit changes to KPH and the road signs are in kilometres, am guessing I have gone to far"
It's much less than that but I've never experienced that issue and don't know anyone who has. |
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By *awty_TwoCouple
over a year ago
Near Maidstone |
"Before messaging someone?
I've traveled over 200 miles across the country and the people In my inbox don't seem to have checked my distance.
Do you check before you message?"
We can’t answer you as you are roughly 90 miles away which is a tad too far  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Before messaging someone?
I've traveled over 200 miles across the country and the people In my inbox don't seem to have checked my distance.
Do you check before you message?"
Only check and message back the ones I like but I would not travel far. Maximum half an hour drive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Distance is irrelevant when it comes to connection and attraction.
When you click you just click
I’ve flown as far as New York before for a 3 day fun meet.
Sometimes distance can make it more exciting, anticipation, excitement….. |
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By *lex46TV/TS
over a year ago
Near Wells |
I'm wary of guys saying they would travel 100 miles to meet me. I always wonder why as they must have others that are nearer who they could meet.
Also because of the rise in time wasters, I don't want to commit myself for a couple of hours waiting for a guy to arrive. |
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In my experience there is a proportion of women who do not check the distance when messaging me. I've had introductory messages from Ireland to Guernsey, and a few from the northernmost point of the Scottish mainland.
If they're just sending a compliment then geographical disparities aren't an issue. It's when their expectations are beyond the cursory "Hi" is when I start to question their motives. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
The rules according to Fab Forums are: if you see a tidy woman, you fall over yourself announcing 'you would' or 'more fool them' if someone was let down (angst), usually along with offerings of cake.
Consider it as a move up in divisions, just sit back and put your feet up, enjoy the fab fawning, where you don't have to make efforts but post thoughts and they will come (aubergine).
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It's a grey area.
If it's someone on the forums I've likely got into a conversation with them from a thread, so distance is irrelevant.
I had a conversation like that recently, which evolved into the we should meet sphere and they are 200+ miles away. That's the grey area.
Otherwise, why proactively choose that layer of complication? I thrive on spontaneity: so having to arrange meets to fit into schedules, can be a bit of a mood killer. If we are into each other I don't want to be having perpetual 'if only you were here' conversations. Conversely, if the desire to see each other isn't there, then I don't seek mediocrity either.
A friend said to me once: If you are hoping for it not to be too good, because that's the only way it can work - then why do it? Very good advice. |
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Yep. The number of people willing to travel hundreds of miles or get a hotel for the weekend just for a social with us has surprised us. It's almost as if despite us being very clear no more than a cup of coffee or a drink is on the cards they think we'll change our minds... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If one’s intentions are clear and all
Parties know exactly where you stand,
Distance becomes irrelevant and it becomes a personal choice based on one’s circumstances.
A drive here, a flight there…hey if the company is decent and the food is good …live and let live.
You have to remember, just because you can’t or choose not too, doesn’t mean others are in the same position |
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I do.
In general, I don't find people to be interesting enough to travel 100s of miles for. I don't care if they're willing to travel to me, if I don't think it's worth it I'm not having the added weight of expectations from someone who has travelled that far.
Very very occasionally, someone I would travel for appears. But the distance is still a consideration for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't mind travelling up to or just over an hour for a meet, but have travelled further when spending the weekend with someone but that was only because we'd met before so I trusted her  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't mind travelling up to or just over an hour for a meet, but have travelled further when spending the weekend with someone but that was only because we'd met before so I trusted her "
Makes a note to move within an hour of derby  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Before messaging someone?
I've traveled over 200 miles across the country and the people In my inbox don't seem to have checked my distance.
Do you check before you message?"
Absolutely….whilst I think distance shouldn’t be an issue, in todays world we have to be pragmatic about it…..fuel costs for one (although it’s on the decline…under £1.50) and when the horn takes over….don’t think I could contain myself for 200 miles haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Before messaging someone?
I've traveled over 200 miles across the country and the people In my inbox don't seem to have checked my distance.
Do you check before you message?"
Yes I always do, but doesn't mean you still can't send a polite message being friendly |
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"Yep. The number of people willing to travel hundreds of miles or get a hotel for the weekend just for a social with us has surprised us. It's almost as if despite us being very clear no more than a cup of coffee or a drink is on the cards they think we'll change our minds...
"
A coffee with you would be worth the journey my lady and pleasure to meet your other half if i was ever in your area and you can show me your boots . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Always, but not just the distance that fab shows, because that's just as the crow flies and, particularly where I am, there are other factors, such as the River Thames.
For instance, Sheerness is less than 10 miles away, in a straight line, but I don't fancy swimming there, but by road it's around 60 miles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Always, but not just the distance that fab shows, because that's just as the crow flies and, particularly where I am, there are other factors, such as the River Thames.
For instance, Sheerness is less than 10 miles away, in a straight line, but I don't fancy swimming there, but by road it's around 60 miles"
I'd take up swimming  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes I/we do check distance but then we would rather accommodate anyway.
Being a PT I check when I am contacted with regards to my services as when we moved into the valley's we had no clue it was basically in the middle of nowhere, lol. So I warn people about the distance they may have to travel to get to my private gym. |
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"Yep. The number of people willing to travel hundreds of miles or get a hotel for the weekend just for a social with us has surprised us. It's almost as if despite us being very clear no more than a cup of coffee or a drink is on the cards they think we'll change our minds...
A coffee with you would be worth the journey my lady and pleasure to meet your other half if i was ever in your area and you can show me your boots ."
I haven't worn them yet. Looks like it'll be autumn before I do now |
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"Before messaging someone?
I've traveled over 200 miles across the country and the people In my inbox don't seem to have checked my distance.
Do you check before you message?"
Some people are just interesting and intriguing and messaging is just to find out more about them. In that case distance is irrelevant.
I also travel long distances, so if you have connected with someone distance can be overcome with a little planning even if it is just for a coffee. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't mind travelling up to or just over an hour for a meet, but have travelled further when spending the weekend with someone but that was only because we'd met before so I trusted her
Makes a note to move within an hour of derby "
I mean, even if you just happen to be passing by |
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"Before messaging someone?
I've traveled over 200 miles across the country and the people In my inbox don't seem to have checked my distance.
Do you check before you message?"
I check the distance before messaging. Unfortunately, the distance makes meet harder to organise. |
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By *arkus1812Man
over a year ago
Lifes departure lounge NN9 Northamptonshire East not West MidlandsMidlands |
"Before messaging someone?
I've traveled over 200 miles across the country and the people In my inbox don't seem to have checked my distance.
Do you check before you message?
Yes we do, ideally looking for locals but if people are happy to travel then we are happy with that, especially slim, petite ladies x
How far would you travel to a fat old trout? "
As I am fond of Trout I would travel say 40 to 50 miles for a good specimen |
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"The only distance I check is from the balls to the tip."
That might need a bit more context - the older men get, the closer their balls get to their knees! Might sound like I’ve got a 2’ cock haha |
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I don't even answer a message if they're more than 20 miles away . I spend 6 months a year travelling Europe. I tend to meet people within a 2 mile radius of where I'm at. When in Scotland I prefer to be within 5/10 miles max from any potential partner. I've yet to see anyone I'd travel more than that for. I guess if you've worked your way through all the locals and half the site you might have to travel further but sod that for a fuck lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my experience there is a proportion of women who do not check the distance when messaging me. I've had introductory messages from Ireland to Guernsey, and a few from the northernmost point of the Scottish mainland.
If they're just sending a compliment then geographical disparities aren't an issue. It's when their expectations are beyond the cursory "Hi" is when I start to question their motives."
have had similar from guys, not so much from the gurls because they seem to be better at communicating in all honesty (speaking from my own experiences that is), the ladies I've found have a better tendency to read and ask the appropriate questions whereas the majority of guys just seem to look at pics. Good level of communication, understanding and integrity always an important part to play in the outcome of successful meet-ups. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm wary of guys saying they would travel 100 miles to meet me. I always wonder why as they must have others that are nearer who they could meet.
Also because of the rise in time wasters, I don't want to commit myself for a couple of hours waiting for a guy to arrive. "
Tendency not to do many 1-2-1's nowadays since much better prefer having plenty fun at clubs and or cruising outdoors.
Also, sometimes certain peeps if the chemistry feels right are worth travelling for, no matter what the distance.
No hard and fast rule, just gutt instincts |
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I am not currently meeting anyone new, only open to meet in clubs, by chance. But whenever I get a message, I do check distance. As I prefer regular meets, and I'd expect someone having to travel over an hour to meet me would eventually get weary of all the travelling. |
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"Before messaging someone?
I've traveled over 200 miles across the country and the people In my inbox don't seem to have checked my distance.
Do you check before you message?"
There’s an irony here for me. I have searches saved for my preferences and that is set to a 30 mile limit. But I no longer proactively search as I cannot be bothered.
I now spend all my time cocking around in the forums and have made some awesome online friends. So here’s the irony - people for whom I haven’t searched who live way outside my usual search radius, I would travel to see just for a coffee (although, irrelevantly, chances are it would end up being more).
So to answer the question, OP, yes. And no. |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"Before messaging someone?
I've traveled over 200 miles across the country and the people In my inbox don't seem to have checked my distance.
Do you check before you message?"
I most certainly do, for the right woman, no distance would keep me away. |
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"Before messaging someone?
I've traveled over 200 miles across the country and the people In my inbox don't seem to have checked my distance.
Do you check before you message?
There’s an irony here for me. I have searches saved for my preferences and that is set to a 30 mile limit. But I no longer proactively search as I cannot be bothered.
I now spend all my time cocking around in the forums and have made some awesome online friends. So here’s the irony - people for whom I haven’t searched who live way outside my usual search radius, I would travel to see just for a coffee (although, irrelevantly, chances are it would end up being more).
So to answer the question, OP, yes. And no."
Indeed. I have travelled on the basis of a connection built over time, when it just started as a forum conversation. (They're the exception not the rule) But I'd never look that far away at the outset. |
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"I'm wary of guys saying they would travel 100 miles to meet me. I always wonder why as they must have others that are nearer who they could meet.
Also because of the rise in time wasters, I don't want to commit myself for a couple of hours waiting for a guy to arrive. "
I think especially as. tv/ts and the sheer number of time wasting men , anyone that want to travel 100miles to get a suck/nut etc is just laughable and 99% will just cancel/no show/ghost .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Have many atime traveled. The excitment the challenge etc was the rage back afew yrs ago off chatlines.
But never off fab.
Rather stay in london and meet.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Don't think many men do. And when the penny drops they don't turn up because of the distance. Wish they save everyone's time by reading profiles properly before engaging in conversation "
Ok men are the problem.
Do you travel to meet?? |
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I travelled to Scotland once after chatting on here for a while, and then FaceTime. The weekend was amazing. Fine food, fine wine. Cracking hotel.
We were just two people where the planets aligned and everything fell into place.
Long distance meets can happen, so for me personally, I wouldn’t check as I don’t see it as a hurdle. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I travelled to Scotland once after chatting on here for a while, and then FaceTime. The weekend was amazing. Fine food, fine wine. Cracking hotel.
We were just two people where the planets aligned and everything fell into place.
Long distance meets can happen, so for me personally, I wouldn’t check as I don’t see it as a hurdle. "
Success story! Right here.
Well done fella. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When chatting only, don't think it matters?
I don't want to just chat... I want to rip someone's clothes off.
Haha! Do you think it matters? "
Jeez, can't travel 100 miles for coffee and a chat these days without them wanting to rip your clothes off  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I travelled to Scotland once after chatting on here for a while, and then FaceTime. The weekend was amazing. Fine food, fine wine. Cracking hotel.
"
I’d have traveled to Scotland once. … |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When chatting only, don't think it matters?
I don't want to just chat... I want to rip someone's clothes off.
Haha! Do you think it matters? "
Brb, just gonna get my clothes ripped off |
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"When chatting only, don't think it matters?
I don't want to just chat... I want to rip someone's clothes off.
Haha! Do you think it matters?
Jeez, can't travel 100 miles for coffee and a chat these days without them wanting to rip your clothes off "
I think that says more about you than anyone else |
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Sometimes we check but we also travel about quite a bit so it’s nice to have people in different places.
Our FWB lives in Wales…we have another in Birmingham. We go for weekends there for a change of scenery and a hot time.
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When chatting only, don't think it matters?
I don't want to just chat... I want to rip someone's clothes off.
Haha! Do you think it matters? "
I could take my shirt off on the way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When chatting only, don't think it matters?
I don't want to just chat... I want to rip someone's clothes off.
Haha! Do you think it matters?
Jeez, can't travel 100 miles for coffee and a chat these days without them wanting to rip your clothes off
I think that says more about you than anyone else "
It's not my fault the coffee scene in other cities are so interesting to me  |
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Of course I do. But sometimes it’s just nice to chat and also I never say never. If its planned and we have a good back and forth conversation, and a appropriate phone call or FaceTimeing, who knows
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"I roughly base it around an hour ish max drive , unless it’s clear they are travelling work and in hotel or I am travelling elsewhere but then I would just change my location temporarily to where I am if was looking to meet "
I agree with this, 45 mins - 1hr max for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes it’s not just distance per say but ease of travel.
Also if travelling to an area for work i might then look around once free afterwards so if I’m near Norfolk another 10 miles on the return to Manchester way isn’t an issue |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I roughly base it around an hour ish max drive , unless it’s clear they are travelling work and in hotel or I am travelling elsewhere but then I would just change my location temporarily to where I am if was looking to meet
I agree with this, 45 mins - 1hr max for me."
So in London that would limit you to one side of town + maybe centre lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I roughly base it around an hour ish max drive , unless it’s clear they are travelling work and in hotel or I am travelling elsewhere but then I would just change my location temporarily to where I am if was looking to meet
I agree with this, 45 mins - 1hr max for me."
I’d travel on hour to NOT meet someone and spend the day alone! 
I’d travel whatever it took for the person who I wanted to see. The more I want to see them, the more I would travel.  |
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"Depends on the mood, sometimes I'll just message hot women online and not care. But usually yes "
Yup you and 90% men on here never look at distance and just waste women's time when most have no intention travelling that far to meet a stranger for sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends on the mood, sometimes I'll just message hot women online and not care. But usually yes
Yup you and 90% men on here never look at distance and just waste women's time when most have no intention travelling that far to meet a stranger for sex"
It’s a numbers game.
Swipe on enough of them…. I bet one would/will reply. Can we blame someone for doing this?
I blame the ability to do it. |
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"Depends on the mood, sometimes I'll just message hot women online and not care. But usually yes
Yup you and 90% men on here never look at distance and just waste women's time when most have no intention travelling that far to meet a stranger for sex
It’s a numbers game.
Swipe on enough of them…. I bet one would/will reply. Can we blame someone for doing this?
I blame the ability to do it. "
Pointless exercise but fair dues if that's your strategy |
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"Depends on the mood, sometimes I'll just message hot women online and not care. But usually yes
Yup you and 90% men on here never look at distance and just waste women's time when most have no intention travelling that far to meet a stranger for sex
It’s a numbers game.
Swipe on enough of them…. I bet one would/will reply. Can we blame someone for doing this?
I blame the ability to do it.
Pointless exercise but fair dues if that's your strategy "
Women thrive on being part of the numbers game. Great tactic lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends on the mood, sometimes I'll just message hot women online and not care. But usually yes
Yup you and 90% men on here never look at distance and just waste women's time when most have no intention travelling that far to meet a stranger for sex
It’s a numbers game.
Swipe on enough of them…. I bet one would/will reply. Can we blame someone for doing this?
I blame the ability to do it.
Pointless exercise but fair dues if that's your strategy
Women thrive on being part of the numbers game. Great tactic lol"
I know, it’s flattering isn’t it.
So why doesn’t a website like this not put a restriction on how many NEW profiles you can message in a day? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends on the mood, sometimes I'll just message hot women online and not care. But usually yes
Yup you and 90% men on here never look at distance and just waste women's time when most have no intention travelling that far to meet a stranger for sex
It’s a numbers game.
Swipe on enough of them…. I bet one would/will reply. Can we blame someone for doing this?
I blame the ability to do it.
Pointless exercise but fair dues if that's your strategy "
I never said I do it. I kinda just agreeing and understand why those that do.
I’m not a maths man but odds are, one would work. |
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