Is it possible too much emphasis can be put on conversing before potential play.
Before I (Jay) was on the scene and single at the time I inadvertently stumbled across a couple getting it on in the sand dunes. Instinctively I kept a distance and looked on, next thing the fella beckons me over to join them. This was the first best experience I have ever had. I find conversations can be a prelude to fun which in itself can feel predictable. As a couple we love the spontaneity and seeing what happens in the heat of the moment. We’ve found people shy at conversation yet full of confidence when playing. Can anyone else relate to this ? In a group scenario all someone needs to do is give a nod and if we are interested we can invite them in. We travel a good distance so would rather not spend too much time in the bar. |
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Spontaneous sex where everyone is willing and joins in readily and to who it comes naturally is exciting but not without huge risks.
My honest belief ( experience ) is that most people here ( or anywhere ) are not sexually adventurous , spontaneous , in touch with natural sexual instinct or even know about pleasure.
Most are everyday folk who haven't had a shag for some time and just want a safe leg over for the evening. One that's more low risk and where you know a bit about what you are getting yourself into. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Spontaneous sex where everyone is willing and joins in readily and to who it comes naturally is exciting but not without huge risks.
My honest belief ( experience ) is that most people here ( or anywhere ) are not sexually adventurous , spontaneous , in touch with natural sexual instinct or even know about pleasure.
Most are everyday folk who haven't had a shag for some time and just want a safe leg over for the evening. One that's more low risk and where you know a bit about what you are getting yourself into."
Was i meant to smile at that (cos I did).
However, having said that, ten years ago I had a lover that I called 'Miss Spontaneity', those were good times.
But now, the my idea of enjoyment is rubbing the linament over my tired and aching limbs, climbing in to the long johns, and waiting for the nurse to come and turn me over so as to ensure that I do not get bed sores!  |
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"Spontaneous sex where everyone is willing and joins in readily and to who it comes naturally is exciting but not without huge risks.
My honest belief ( experience ) is that most people here ( or anywhere ) are not sexually adventurous , spontaneous , in touch with natural sexual instinct or even know about pleasure.
Most are everyday folk who haven't had a shag for some time and just want a safe leg over for the evening. One that's more low risk and where you know a bit about what you are getting yourself into."
You’ve hit the nail on the head there. As much as we do enjoy socialising it rarely leads to anything for that reason. We don’t go with any intentions having said that. In our own experience we have been able to read a situation in a play room having started on our own having gone on to have some of our best experiences. That doesn’t mean to say we’re looking for casual meets as the same playmates are likely to be there at another event so you get to build up a rapport s along the way. |
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There doesn't have to be 1 style, even for any individual. It would become stale for many of us. Find your way and then filter for others who match.
I generally find it better to chat and have a connection, potentially using this to decline further involvement. But I have loved minimal chat too |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Spontaneous sex where everyone is willing and joins in readily and to who it comes naturally is exciting but not without huge risks.
My honest belief ( experience ) is that most people here ( or anywhere ) are not sexually adventurous , spontaneous , in touch with natural sexual instinct or even know about pleasure.
Most are everyday folk who haven't had a shag for some time and just want a safe leg over for the evening. One that's more low risk and where you know a bit about what you are getting yourself into."
Well, I'm all of those things you speak of, and know a great deal about carnal pleasures.
I prefer to have it with people I know more than the colour of their arse cheeks.
*to be read in the voice of the Dowager Countess of Grantham, Violet Crawley* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The vibe has to be there for me but yes sometimes there's too much focus on the conversation before hand. There's only so much you can know about a person online and in my experience, if you wait too long conversing, the meets not going to happen. This is why I like clubs, you get a feel of a person face to face from the get go. I've had experiences where your eyes meet with someone and you both know its about to go down with very little conversation but those kind of experiences are usually one offs unless we learn more about each other afterwards. |
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I've only ever been spontaneous once and got nothing from it so I wouldn't be in a rush to try it again.
I always meet socially now.That isn't negotiable and is after weeks of chatting.
Mostly because I prefer to get to know people first and don't have either the time or energy for lots of meets.
I've never had a no show or been ghosted or catfished in six years here so I must be doing something right.
For that reason I will continue as I have always done. |
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"Is it possible too much emphasis can be put on conversing before potential play.
Before I (Jay) was on the scene and single at the time I inadvertently stumbled across a couple getting it on in the sand dunes. Instinctively I kept a distance and looked on, next thing the fella beckons me over to join them. This was the first best experience I have ever had. I find conversations can be a prelude to fun which in itself can feel predictable. As a couple we love the spontaneity and seeing what happens in the heat of the moment. We’ve found people shy at conversation yet full of confidence when playing. Can anyone else relate to this ? In a group scenario all someone needs to do is give a nod and if we are interested we can invite them in. We travel a good distance so would rather not spend too much time in the bar. "
you know your wife or partner how can that be spontaneous or do you mean the waving of the hand to beckon you, sex is all different scenarios but with the same ending  |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
If someone has no interest in chatting first I've no interest in meeting them.But then my first meet with people off her is always a social anyhow. I've no interest in spontaneous meets and the two worst and scariest meets I have had off here were people I met quickly off here. I also don't do sex talk before I meet anyone so I'm polar opposite to you op.But it works for me,the same as your way works for you. That's the joy of fab. |
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Yes I get bored if people want weeks and weeks of messaging daily. Especially the pointless messaging Wray you upto / how is your day / favourite book etc
I tend to want to meet with 2 weeks of a couple chats / video call verify. Much longer than that I find it becomes less likely an actual meet happens
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On occasions where we have gone on to have spur of the moment spontaneous fun, those involved have lay back and conversed afterwards where conversation flowed. The vibe was more relaxing too. We are mindful what not too ask people respecting their privacy because not everyone wants to discuss personal matters such as work and family etc. We’ve been invited into a room by couples having not previously met them. We were newbies at the time so didn’t take the offer up, however we weren’t at all offended. I guess spontaneity works well for us and we’re good to get the measure of someone by how they are conducting themselves in a club environment. If something isn’t feeling right you leave it so no need to converse for hours in the bar beforehand in order to find fun. It can feel very much like a routine, you arrive, drinks in the bar then progress into the playroom a couple of hours after. At home you don’t plan to have fun when you’re together it just happens when the moment is right again it’s spontaneous. |
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"Is it possible too much emphasis can be put on conversing before potential play.
Before I (Jay) was on the scene and single at the time I inadvertently stumbled across a couple getting it on in the sand dunes. Instinctively I kept a distance and looked on, next thing the fella beckons me over to join them. This was the first best experience I have ever had. I find conversations can be a prelude to fun which in itself can feel predictable. As a couple we love the spontaneity and seeing what happens in the heat of the moment. We’ve found people shy at conversation yet full of confidence when playing. Can anyone else relate to this ? In a group scenario all someone needs to do is give a nod and if we are interested we can invite them in. We travel a good distance so would rather not spend too much time in the bar. you know your wife or partner how can that be spontaneous or do you mean the waving of the hand to beckon you, sex is all different scenarios but with the same ending "
Don’t quite get where you’re coming from ? What is the connection about knowing your wife and spontaneity. We mean beckon someone to join us if that’s what you’re saying |
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"There doesn't have to be 1 style, even for any individual. It would become stale for many of us. Find your way and then filter for others who match.
I generally find it better to chat and have a connection, potentially using this to decline further involvement. But I have loved minimal chat too"
Absolutely there definitely isn’t just one way or a right or wrong way either. What works for one doesn’t for another and vice versa. It’s just a generalised observation and open discussion about other people’s views |
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