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The importance of...
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
sex.
How important is sex to you? The feeling of being desired? Are there positive/negative effects on your general wellbeing/mood because of it?
Are your sexual needs being met currently or do you feel a bit sexually lacking?
The sun has me thinking about libido, clearly! :D
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By *ORBCouple
over a year ago
Dundalk |
I enjoy sex it can be a lot of fun and can bring you closer to someone in a way nothing else can,the depth of emotions and sensations is amazing at times.
In saying that though sex is not one of the most important things in my life,it's a good bit down any list I may have. I went without it for years because I got fed up of mediocre sex that was all about the other people's pleasure. So while yes now I enjoy great sex it's still not a major factor in my life much as I enjoy it when it happens.
I would actually hate to have it on my mind all the time I think it would be annoying as hell and make me annoying as well to other people if it was such a big deal.
Bo. |
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Sex is really important to both of us. Think we both had partners where we didn't click sexually. And now we found someone we are and we cherish it.
And to me, it's not just about the act of sex itself, it's everything that is associated with it. The flirting and looks of desire. And to be honest I just enjoy it all, it makes me feel good. |
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By *mf123Man
over a year ago
with one foot out the door |
I miss it but where i was once a bit like a kid in a vagina shop im not into just sex for the sake of having it without that animal desire to just take someones mind and body and turn them to a shaking exhausted heap of a woman and do it again i dont really think much about it anymore i miss just talking to people i like much much more i think i dunno maybe i grew up or maybe i just got dull in my old age |
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It's very important to me. My Fab life, which complements the friendships and the fora interactions, is intrinsic with my yearning for sex, tactile fulfilment and being fervently desired.
Are my sexual needs being met? Yes, but not often enough, which leaves me pining, frustrated and sexually tormented. Sometimes I'm even irascible with myself if my libido is high. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It might not be massively important to me but it’s still more important than I wished it was. I sometimes wish that I didn’t have the need for it at all and everything else would be amazing but I’ve come to realise over time that I do still have that proverbial itch to scratch |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I used to think it wasn't important but that wasn't me thinking that, I was made to feel that way. After a long time of feeling unwanted, undesired and pretty shitty about myself, this lifestyle awakened what I needed. Its very important to me now as I never want to feel like that again. |
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By *hilloutMan
over a year ago
All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest |
"sex.
How important is sex to you? The feeling of being desired? Are there positive/negative effects on your general wellbeing/mood because of it?
Are your sexual needs being met currently or do you feel a bit sexually lacking?
The sun has me thinking about libido, clearly! :D
"
Sex is very important as it's something I greatly enjoy and am frankly pretty good at. I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone that wouldn't at least match my appetite stride for stride.
That being said, I have gone for long periods without with no real detrimental effects on my mental well being or mood. I will say I'm a bit more cheery if I get it regularly (endorphins have that effect).
My needs are more than met when we're together. The periods in between make sure the sexual collision on reuniting is more intense  |
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Sex is definitely important to me but sex doesn't make me feel desired, intimacy does especially with the Mr.
We are lucky I guess we still grope and compliment each other as we did when we 1st met, those little ass grabs,cuddles talking random shite, laughing before we nod off, collapsing into each others arms and falling asleep after sex those little things make me feel more desired then sex does.
Mrs |
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You know what I’ve never actually thought about it until now. Obviously it’s nice to feel desired, but in all honesty my opinion whatever I say is invalid as I’ve never not felt undesirable, I know I’ve got an alright face, notice being check out all that shite etc, but I’ve always been safe in the knowledge that am desirable to someone.
The mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sex is definitely important to me but sex doesn't make me feel desired, intimacy does especially with the Mr.
We are lucky I guess we still grope and compliment each other as we did when we 1st met, those little ass grabs,cuddles talking random shite, laughing before we nod off, collapsing into each others arms and falling asleep after sex those little things make me feel more desired then sex does.
Mrs"
Yeah i think it's different when you have sex on tap...sometimes, due to circumstances, you can't have it, no matter how much you want it, so it has to get compartmentalised or you'd just spontaneously combust  |
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"Sex is really important to both of us. Think we both had partners where we didn't click sexually. And now we found someone we are and we cherish it.
And to me, it's not just about the act of sex itself, it's everything that is associated with it. The flirting and looks of desire. And to be honest I just enjoy it all, it makes me feel good. "
This is pretty much exactly what I wanted to say. The energy and excitement when you just click with someone sexually is such a powerful potion!  |
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I really enjoy sex but the longer I go without sex the less I miss it.
I don't like or want hook up sex, it has in the past made me feel very negative. I crave a connection and intimacy, which for me ensures great sex. Therefore holding out until I find it. |
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"sex.
How important is sex to you? The feeling of being desired? Are there positive/negative effects on your general wellbeing/mood because of it?
Are your sexual needs being met currently or do you feel a bit sexually lacking?
The sun has me thinking about libido, clearly! :D
"
obviously being desired for sex is different to being desired for you, i can live without sex but i love it so I'm not giving it up just yet  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I miss sex as I enjoy it. When I was married (21 yrs), the last 6 years of it contained zero affection, intimacy and of course zero sex.
Sex is important to me however, affection and intimacy I miss so much more as there's a deeper connection and contentment.
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Sex is one of the most important factors in a relationship. And ensuring you are close to being on the same page sexually is integral too.
It’s only now I’m realising how easier a relationship is when sex drives/needs/desires/fantasies are aligned and being able to talk so openly about sex.
Sex is one of the main factors for divisions within relationships whether it’s not getting any, not being able to talk together, share fantasies and/or be yourself.
K
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sex.
How important is sex to you? The feeling of being desired? Are there positive/negative effects on your general wellbeing/mood because of it? "
I like feeling sexy, I like sex (with the right person) and it does make me feel good. Do I feel bad without it? No, but it bothered me that my youth(yes! I’m still young) is going to disappear and I’ll look back at and think of a lot of ‘what ifs!’ Those fantasies and desires will just be broken dreams.
" Are your sexual needs being met currently or do you feel a bit sexually lacking? "
not even close.
The sunshine brings out the best in me too. 
Fancy a drink in a couple of week Meli? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My sex drive has dipped in recent years which I hate but my want for affection and desire is higher than ever. I just don’t think you can beat kissing, flirting and cuddles |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being desired is extremely important to me. Not feeling desired has had really negative effects in the past on my well-being. Feeling ugly or undesirable for other reasons. My current partners all make me feel beautiful and attractive and sexy and that’s very important to me.
In terms of sexual needs- all being met often enough.  |
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Sex is very important to me.
If I don't feel that crushing need for a while, that absolute lust and desire, I feel like I'm incomplete. And I can't deal with it being one sided, I need that mirror, I need to feel as wanted as I want my partner. Or else something is wrong with the world. |
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"sex.
How important is sex to you? The feeling of being desired? Are there positive/negative effects on your general wellbeing/mood because of it?
Are your sexual needs being met currently or do you feel a bit sexually lacking?
The sun has me thinking about libido, clearly! :D
"
More important than Prince Andrew |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
Sex is vitally important but have no real need to feel desired just submitted to.
It can be a little distracting when it consumes my thoughts but generally it’s positive, expressive, and opens up the fun, adventurous & creative part of me.
I’m not getting enough right now  but it’s by choice. It’s not a bad thing to reduce or even fast from sex for periods if you have propensity to sex addiction. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sex isn't a big deal at all for me (I note Mr has also said the same).
If you came and told me that I couldn't have sex ever again it wouldn't phase me at all.
Of course I enjoy it when I do have sex, and it leaves me feeling satisfied. But I can get the satisfaction another way whether that's masturbating or something completly different to sex. 
F |
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Ask himself how grumpy I get when I don't have as much sex as I'd like  
Actually, he usually checks if I want feeding too, being hungry makes me equally as grumpy.
I'm basically a Gremlin! Not cute Gizmo, a bad one |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"
I enjoy sex it can be a lot of fun and can bring you closer to someone in a way nothing else can,the depth of emotions and sensations is amazing at times.
In saying that though sex is not one of the most important things in my life,it's a good bit down any list I may have. I went without it for years because I got fed up of mediocre sex that was all about the other people's pleasure. So while yes now I enjoy great sex it's still not a major factor in my life much as I enjoy it when it happens.
I would actually hate to have it on my mind all the time I think it would be annoying as hell and make me annoying as well to other people if it was such a big deal.
Bo."
Oh there's definitely something to be said for not settling for mediocre sex and going without rather than putting up with that.
There's a marked difference between enjoying great sex and having it on your mind all the time. I think it would be rather annoying as well. And kind of draining. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Sex is really important to both of us. Think we both had partners where we didn't click sexually. And now we found someone we are and we cherish it.
And to me, it's not just about the act of sex itself, it's everything that is associated with it. The flirting and looks of desire. And to be honest I just enjoy it all, it makes me feel good. "
That's enough though, isn't it? Enjoying it because it makes you feel good, rather than some deep meaning. I think there's something to be said for enjoying things simply because they make you feel good. And sex is great! I like the energy people have after really great sex - I can tell when a couple of my close friends are buzzing from it. It's lovely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me sex is important in a relationship as is being desired. Not being in a relationship it’s currently not that important to me, but we I do have sex yes it can affect how I feel, good and bad. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I miss it but where i was once a bit like a kid in a vagina shop im not into just sex for the sake of having it without that animal desire to just take someones mind and body and turn them to a shaking exhausted heap of a woman and do it again i dont really think much about it anymore i miss just talking to people i like much much more i think i dunno maybe i grew up or maybe i just got dull in my old age"
I don't think that makes you dull - far from it. Like you, I don't want sex just for the sake of having sex. It's great, it really is. But those days of hopping on any cock because I'm insatiable are long behind me.
Maybe it's not about growing up or becoming dull. Maybe it's more about being comfortable and recognising what it is you want. |
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"sex.
How important is sex to you? The feeling of being desired? Are there positive/negative effects on your general wellbeing/mood because of it?
Are your sexual needs being met currently or do you feel a bit sexually lacking?
The sun has me thinking about libido, clearly! :D
"
Bear in mind that my answers are taken within the context of a 24 year relationship which is my first and only long term relationship. Sex itself is quite important but I've always happy to look after myself.
Feeling desired within our relationship is really important. We went through a really rough patch where we were both wrongly convinced the other was no longer attracted. There was sex in that time but it wasn't great. How can you have good sex when you don't feel desired. We have worked hard to resolve things and are still working hard to keep our relationship strong. So yes, there are definitely negative effects for me to not feeling desired within a relationship. I have no idea how to answer the same question without that framing. In the same way, feeling desired definitely puts a smile on your face and a spring in your step.
Yes, my needs are being met at the moment
J |
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"sex.
How important is sex to you? The feeling of being desired? Are there positive/negative effects on your general wellbeing/mood because of it?
Are your sexual needs being met currently or do you feel a bit sexually lacking?
The sun has me thinking about libido, clearly! :D
"
When I have sex, I want it so much more regularly.
Would love a regular fwb. There’s always the little bit of a low the day after |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"It's very important to me. My Fab life, which complements the friendships and the fora interactions, is intrinsic with my yearning for sex, tactile fulfilment and being fervently desired.
Are my sexual needs being met? Yes, but not often enough, which leaves me pining, frustrated and sexually tormented. Sometimes I'm even irascible with myself if my libido is high."
Fora. 
Ah I can be a bit of a mardy arse if I've not had enough sex lately. Try and not inflict it on others.
Feeling frustrated is understandable - after sex you can feel so much better in yourself. Like an itch has been deliciously scratched and you can relax a bit more. |
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"It's very important to me. My Fab life, which complements the friendships and the fora interactions, is intrinsic with my yearning for sex, tactile fulfilment and being fervently desired.
Are my sexual needs being met? Yes, but not often enough, which leaves me pining, frustrated and sexually tormented. Sometimes I'm even irascible with myself if my libido is high.
Fora.
Ah I can be a bit of a mardy arse if I've not had enough sex lately. Try and not inflict it on others.
Feeling frustrated is understandable - after sex you can feel so much better in yourself. Like an itch has been deliciously scratched and you can relax a bit more."
Correct me if I'm wrong Meli, didn't you say in another thread not long ago that you hadn't had sex in 5 years |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It is important to me but not as important as feeling desired for who I am in my entirety, not for the goal I represent for some men.
I’ll even add that there is nothing better than being uniquely desired. When you realise that the desire that man has toward you, isn’t fabricated, tailored and given to every woman he would like to fuck. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"It's very important to me. My Fab life, which complements the friendships and the fora interactions, is intrinsic with my yearning for sex, tactile fulfilment and being fervently desired.
Are my sexual needs being met? Yes, but not often enough, which leaves me pining, frustrated and sexually tormented. Sometimes I'm even irascible with myself if my libido is high.
Fora.
Ah I can be a bit of a mardy arse if I've not had enough sex lately. Try and not inflict it on others.
Feeling frustrated is understandable - after sex you can feel so much better in yourself. Like an itch has been deliciously scratched and you can relax a bit more.
Correct me if I'm wrong Meli, didn't you say in another thread not long ago that you hadn't had sex in 5 years "
Ha! I'm going to reply to this post quickly because I'm flattered someone remembers my forum posts.
I can't quite take some things seriously on here - so occasionally I'm a tad daft. It's not been five years. It's not been five months, five weeks or...
You get the idea.
In a slightly weird way - the more I have great sex the more I want it. Sometimes it's good for me to not have sex for a couple of weeks so I don't become an insatiable wench, fucking everything constantly. |
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"It's very important to me. My Fab life, which complements the friendships and the fora interactions, is intrinsic with my yearning for sex, tactile fulfilment and being fervently desired.
Are my sexual needs being met? Yes, but not often enough, which leaves me pining, frustrated and sexually tormented. Sometimes I'm even irascible with myself if my libido is high.
Fora.
Ah I can be a bit of a mardy arse if I've not had enough sex lately. Try and not inflict it on others.
Feeling frustrated is understandable - after sex you can feel so much better in yourself. Like an itch has been deliciously scratched and you can relax a bit more.
Correct me if I'm wrong Meli, didn't you say in another thread not long ago that you hadn't had sex in 5 years
Ha! I'm going to reply to this post quickly because I'm flattered someone remembers my forum posts.
I can't quite take some things seriously on here - so occasionally I'm a tad daft. It's not been five years. It's not been five months, five weeks or...
You get the idea.
In a slightly weird way - the more I have great sex the more I want it. Sometimes it's good for me to not have sex for a couple of weeks so I don't become an insatiable wench, fucking everything constantly. "
•
In other words:
She was fucked 5 days ago.
She was bonked 5 weeks ago.
She was made love to 5 years ago.
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Hubby n I make love which to me is completely different to sex. It’s about the build up and the closeness and the feelings between us. That’s so important to me but don’t have to have it a set amount of times a week etc.
Sex/fucking, I like this at clubs 1/2 a month. This is completely different to me. No feelings, no complications |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I used to think it wasn't important but that wasn't me thinking that, I was made to feel that way. After a long time of feeling unwanted, undesired and pretty shitty about myself, this lifestyle awakened what I needed. Its very important to me now as I never want to feel like that again. "
Don't take this in a patronising way (fuck knows I can be/can come across as patronising)
I understand that completely. For a good couple of years I was made to feel very undesirable. Like I had no sexual value, no one would want to have sex with me because of how I look. I am. That crap is really damaging.
Embracing who you are? All of you, including that sexual side is so important. I hope you never feel like that again, x |
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"It's very important to me. My Fab life, which complements the friendships and the fora interactions, is intrinsic with my yearning for sex, tactile fulfilment and being fervently desired.
Are my sexual needs being met? Yes, but not often enough, which leaves me pining, frustrated and sexually tormented. Sometimes I'm even irascible with myself if my libido is high.
Fora.
Ah I can be a bit of a mardy arse if I've not had enough sex lately. Try and not inflict it on others.
Feeling frustrated is understandable - after sex you can feel so much better in yourself. Like an itch has been deliciously scratched and you can relax a bit more.
Correct me if I'm wrong Meli, didn't you say in another thread not long ago that you hadn't had sex in 5 years
Ha! I'm going to reply to this post quickly because I'm flattered someone remembers my forum posts.
I can't quite take some things seriously on here - so occasionally I'm a tad daft. It's not been five years. It's not been five months, five weeks or...
You get the idea.
In a slightly weird way - the more I have great sex the more I want it. Sometimes it's good for me to not have sex for a couple of weeks so I don't become an insatiable wench, fucking everything constantly. "
And that's how you confuse a dickhead namely me |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Ah I can be a bit of a mardy arse if I've not had enough sex lately. Try and not inflict it on others.
Feeling frustrated is understandable - after sex you can feel so much better in yourself. Like an itch has been deliciously scratched and you can relax a bit more.
Correct me if I'm wrong Meli, didn't you say in another thread not long ago that you hadn't had sex in 5 years
Ha! I'm going to reply to this post quickly because I'm flattered someone remembers my forum posts.
I can't quite take some things seriously on here - so occasionally I'm a tad daft. It's not been five years. It's not been five months, five weeks or...
You get the idea.
In a slightly weird way - the more I have great sex the more I want it. Sometimes it's good for me to not have sex for a couple of weeks so I don't become an insatiable wench, fucking everything constantly.
And that's how you confuse a dickhead namely me "
Ah you're not a dickhead! Far from it. I'm a bit of a twunt who doesn't take this place seriously all the time.
It's just dawned on me - I think I met you a couple of weekends ago. Yeah, you're not a dickhead.
Although I might be if I didn't meet you and am thinking of someone else. |
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"Ah I can be a bit of a mardy arse if I've not had enough sex lately. Try and not inflict it on others.
Feeling frustrated is understandable - after sex you can feel so much better in yourself. Like an itch has been deliciously scratched and you can relax a bit more.
Correct me if I'm wrong Meli, didn't you say in another thread not long ago that you hadn't had sex in 5 years
Ha! I'm going to reply to this post quickly because I'm flattered someone remembers my forum posts.
I can't quite take some things seriously on here - so occasionally I'm a tad daft. It's not been five years. It's not been five months, five weeks or...
You get the idea.
In a slightly weird way - the more I have great sex the more I want it. Sometimes it's good for me to not have sex for a couple of weeks so I don't become an insatiable wench, fucking everything constantly.
And that's how you confuse a dickhead namely me
Ah you're not a dickhead! Far from it. I'm a bit of a twunt who doesn't take this place seriously all the time.
It's just dawned on me - I think I met you a couple of weekends ago. Yeah, you're not a dickhead.
Although I might be if I didn't meet you and am thinking of someone else. "
You met me at UTB Meli, albeit very briefly |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"sex.
How important is sex to you? The feeling of being desired? Are there positive/negative effects on your general wellbeing/mood because of it?
Are your sexual needs being met currently or do you feel a bit sexually lacking?
The sun has me thinking about libido, clearly! :D
Sex is very important as it's something I greatly enjoy and am frankly pretty good at. I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone that wouldn't at least match my appetite stride for stride.
That being said, I have gone for long periods without with no real detrimental effects on my mental well being or mood. I will say I'm a bit more cheery if I get it regularly (endorphins have that effect).
My needs are more than met when we're together. The periods in between make sure the sexual collision on reuniting is more intense "
Oh Chill. You adorable man.
It's quite rare, well on the forums at least, for someone to say they're pretty good at sex. I like it.
When it comes to relationships; sex is such an important part. It helps build that closeness and love. Well I think so anyway.
Like you I couldn't be in a relationship if it wasn't matched. Forget surpassed, I don't think that will ever happen. |
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"It's very important to me. My Fab life, which complements the friendships and the fora interactions, is intrinsic with my yearning for sex, tactile fulfilment and being fervently desired.
Are my sexual needs being met? Yes, but not often enough, which leaves me pining, frustrated and sexually tormented. Sometimes I'm even irascible with myself if my libido is high.
Fora.
Ah I can be a bit of a mardy arse if I've not had enough sex lately. Try and not inflict it on others.
Feeling frustrated is understandable - after sex you can feel so much better in yourself. Like an itch has been deliciously scratched and you can relax a bit more.
Correct me if I'm wrong Meli, didn't you say in another thread not long ago that you hadn't had sex in 5 years
Ha! I'm going to reply to this post quickly because I'm flattered someone remembers my forum posts.
I can't quite take some things seriously on here - so occasionally I'm a tad daft. It's not been five years. It's not been five months, five weeks or...
You get the idea.
In a slightly weird way - the more I have great sex the more I want it. Sometimes it's good for me to not have sex for a couple of weeks so I don't become an insatiable wench, fucking everything constantly.
•
In other words:
She was fucked 5 days ago.
She was bonked 5 weeks ago.
She was made love to 5 years ago.
"
Not all hero's wear capes  |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
Although I can go without sex for quite some time, it's very important to me, for the intimacy and feeling of a warm body touching me.
I know the men from here couldn't care less who I was, but I'd like to think my long term partner feels a little differently; which he says he does.
I don't have to be loved, but I like to be desired for more than what my mouth and hands can do, and for my convenient holes.
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"...In other words:
She was fucked 5 days ago.
She was bonked 5 weeks ago.
She was made love to 5 years ago.
·
Not all hero's wear capes "
•
Some wear velvetine green dinner jackets. Especially the obsequious ones. |
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"Sex is definitely important to me but sex doesn't make me feel desired, intimacy does especially with the Mr.
We are lucky I guess we still grope and compliment each other as we did when we 1st met, those little ass grabs,cuddles talking random shite, laughing before we nod off, collapsing into each others arms and falling asleep after sex those little things make me feel more desired then sex does.
Mrs
Yeah i think it's different when you have sex on tap...sometimes, due to circumstances, you can't have it, no matter how much you want it, so it has to get compartmentalised or you'd just spontaneously combust "
3 months now and no sex, it's not always on tap.
I generally miss the affection and intimacy more than sex.
Mrs |
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"...In other words:
She was fucked 5 days ago.
She was bonked 5 weeks ago.
She was made love to 5 years ago.
·
Not all hero's wear capes
•
Some wear velvetine green dinner jackets. Especially the obsequious ones."
Servility is a beautiful trait to carry. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sex is very important to me, but It isn't to be confused with intimacy. That is the bond you feel with someone special in your life. That intimate sex is always better, but it isn't everything. That special someone might not be turned on to the same things as you and it isn't fair to expect them to do anything out of their comfort zone. With their blessing we can seek fellow fabbers who like the same thing as we do. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Sex is definitely important to me but sex doesn't make me feel desired, intimacy does especially with the Mr.
We are lucky I guess we still grope and compliment each other as we did when we 1st met, those little ass grabs,cuddles talking random shite, laughing before we nod off, collapsing into each others arms and falling asleep after sex those little things make me feel more desired then sex does.
Mrs"
Intimacy! I think I'd kind of forgotten about that when I was typing the op. Yes; it's those little moments that make you feel special. Groping and compliments are lovely (from someone you want that from) - I can kind of tell when a relationship is done (for me at least) because those little compliments, that shared intimacy kind of stops. For all his occasional grumpiness, your Mr is a sweetheart.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"At the moment I'm losing the desire to look for new men, in the category I usually look.
I think, perhaps, I'm starting to act my age.
"
So shall I give up then…? |
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"sex.
How important is sex to you? The feeling of being desired? Are there positive/negative effects on your general wellbeing/mood because of it?
Are your sexual needs being met currently or do you feel a bit sexually lacking?
The sun has me thinking about libido, clearly! :D
"
The self esteem boost from being wanted, the sharing of something so primal, carnal and intimate with another. The trust, the privilege. There’s lots of reasons that it’s essential to us as humans. Especially those of us with a higher than average drive, and boundaries that have been pushed beyond the vanilla.
Plus it feels good |
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"My sex drive has dipped in recent years which I hate but my want for affection and desire is higher than ever. I just don’t think you can beat kissing, flirting and cuddles "
you can't fer sure its life a bit of affection |
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It’s important to me, as it gives me a bit more self esteem. I think how my past relationships made my attitude towards sex to feel wrong, particularly in the last few months of them, played a huge part in this.
It was almost treated like an addiction/perversion that needed addressing, when I just liked showing affection through physical intimacy including sex, which was nothing out of the ordinary for our earlier relationship.
But lack of sleep is even worse than lack of sex sometimes! |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
I've decided to look for someone my age or thereabouts.
I'm setting my criteria as 5ft10 +, and they must be a builder or decorator.
That way, if the sex is shit I can drop subtle hints about my bedroom ceiling needing painting as I'm trying to not fall asleep underneath him. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"At the moment I'm losing the desire to look for new men, in the category I usually look.
I think, perhaps, I'm starting to act my age.
So shall I give up then…?"
Oh no, I'm not quite there yet.
Can you paint? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's importance has waned over the years
I think I had too much in my 30' & 40's and it kinda holds few surprises or anything new for me
I mean we all do much pretty much the same thing, some just do it more your way than others
Bearing in mind I have sex largely on tap, we maybe have sex say once a fortnight and even then it's kind of a lazy affair and then in the shower before breakfast & work
I'm just not into making 'special time' for it - it always seems too scripted that way
I also think I used sex - and perhaps, more importantly, numerous partners to validate me
Looking back, I met them because I enjoyed the chase and it also made me feel better about myself and feel better looking / sexier than I felt I was
Now I am out of the other side, I realise it was a sticking plaster for the real fulfilment that I needed
So, all in all, my relationship with sex is a little skewed
If I have love, sex becomes something of an incidental triviality
Probably not the best confession to make on a swingers site |
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It's important yes and I think it's important to maintain a healthy relationship however it's not everything.
As I'm getting older I think it's just as much about physical contact holding hands, cuddling.
We have a little cuddle every night in bed just before sleeping.
That said we had impromptu sex on the sofa this evening after tea jools was sitting there looking all sexy and cute in her shorts and BLAMO!
Couldn't keep our hands off each other. |
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Sexy is amazing when done right, and I love it.
For me though a lot of other factors around it need to be right for it to feel that way, the act of sex alone isn't the thing that makes me feeling giddy and warm, but when it's with someone you truly care about, and have a proper connection with it leaves with that feeling of more more more, smiling back at what has happened. Whist also thinking ahead to what might come next.
All that is what makes sex special for me, and is why I'd say my sexual needs aren't fully fulfilled most of the time. Finding those people that give you that feeling is a hard thing to do. I definitely prefer the slightly unfulfilled, but special when it happens approach to any other way I've taken on my life. |
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By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
I love sex. I love being desired and someone having the confidence and no bullshit approach to tell me they desire me (as I happily inform people I desire).
I have a close friend who whenever I say “I’m horny” simply responds “Well, you *are* awake”.
I’m insatiable.
All teh sex, please.
Okthankyoubye. |
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I don't think they are fully being met at the minute and find that if I go too long without it, my labido goes down so I can find it tough to perform if the opportunity finally arises. But once the floodgates open... |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"It's importance has waned over the years
I think I had too much in my 30' & 40's and it kinda holds few surprises or anything new for me
I mean we all do much pretty much the same thing, some just do it more your way than others
Bearing in mind I have sex largely on tap, we maybe have sex say once a fortnight and even then it's kind of a lazy affair and then in the shower before breakfast & work
I'm just not into making 'special time' for it - it always seems too scripted that way
I also think I used sex - and perhaps, more importantly, numerous partners to validate me
Looking back, I met them because I enjoyed the chase and it also made me feel better about myself and feel better looking / sexier than I felt I was
Now I am out of the other side, I realise it was a sticking plaster for the real fulfilment that I needed
So, all in all, my relationship with sex is a little skewed
If I have love, sex becomes something of an incidental triviality
Probably not the best confession to make on a swingers site "
No, I like that you shared that. Fuck what you should say. I'm not a swinger anyway.
Yes, that seeking validation through sex thing isn't healthy is it? It's just a temporary solution to a bigger issue. I'm happy you're in a better place with regards to how you feel about it - you don't have to be doing All The Sex, all the time anyway. There are a lot of important things in life - if sex is one, great. If not, that's fine as well. |
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Sex is hugely important to me but, as others have said, the connection is key to great sex. I have a ridiculously high sex drive so more than 2 weeks without has a massively negative effect on me.
My needs are more than being met atm and it’s totally awesome, but my personal circumstances means they can’t be met anywhere near as much as I want or need. D x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I could actually take or leave the sex part I think (although I love it and would rather not)
For me, I need affection, touch, the feeling of being desired. To be wanted. The mutual desire with someone. I need to be kissed often, by someone who knows how.
I think in the past I've probably used sex as a way to get those other needs met.
I could go months without sex but I struggle without the rest.
Sometimes it comes in other forms; conversation, flirtation or the outright I want you from someone who is genuinely meaning it. I need that to bridge the gaps I suppose.
I'm writing this and wondering if I'm actually quite needy  |
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"Sex is definitely important to me but sex doesn't make me feel desired, intimacy does especially with the Mr.
We are lucky I guess we still grope and compliment each other as we did when we 1st met, those little ass grabs,cuddles talking random shite, laughing before we nod off, collapsing into each others arms and falling asleep after sex those little things make me feel more desired then sex does.
Mrs
Intimacy! I think I'd kind of forgotten about that when I was typing the op. Yes; it's those little moments that make you feel special. Groping and compliments are lovely (from someone you want that from) - I can kind of tell when a relationship is done (for me at least) because those little compliments, that shared intimacy kind of stops. For all his occasional grumpiness, your Mr is a sweetheart.
"
He really is, don't let him see you type that though it's a secret.
Mrs |
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"I could actually take or leave the sex part I think (although I love it and would rather not)
For me, I need affection, touch, the feeling of being desired. To be wanted. The mutual desire with someone. I need to be kissed often, by someone who knows how.
I think in the past I've probably used sex as a way to get those other needs met.
I could go months without sex but I struggle without the rest.
Sometimes it comes in other forms; conversation, flirtation or the outright I want you from someone who is genuinely meaning it. I need that to bridge the gaps I suppose.
I'm writing this and wondering if I'm actually quite needy "
The way my sexuality manifests, the absence of those elements, especially felt mutual desire, would likely cause me to withdraw.
The closing of the gap is what makes it a personal and shared experience. I've no desire to build a bridge over that. |
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Sex is important to me, as an urge that affects my personality and social responses. However proper full on sex, as an activity involving at least two people, is something that has been very rare in my life. Probably my fault as I am over analytical rather than just diving in to life, also I'm down in the 1% of the 1% in terms of matching someone's desire, but life is what it is.
Without any sexual urges though I'm sure I would be a very different person. |
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Sex is important to me, as an urge that affects my personality and social responses. However proper full on sex, as an activity involving at least two people, is something that has been very rare in my life. Probably my fault as I am over analytical rather than just diving in to life, also I'm down in the 1% of the 1% in terms of matching someone's desire, but life is what it is.
Without any sexual urges though I'm sure I would be a very different person. |
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