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Forums say a lot about people.
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My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.
This ^ promoted some self analysis.
Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media 
That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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I think that's true to some extent.
It does surprise me that we're so quick to judge others, to label them as being x, not able to change and yet we see ourselves as being more than a glimpse of insight in a post. Able to change. More nuanced than some sentences on a forum.
I guess we all judge, whether we're able to admit it or not. But having that skill to recognise our own bias is a good one. |
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"You don't get much leeway outside of social media either unless you're forced to spend time with someone at work or something. "
It is also true in the real world. Rampant individualism has a lot to do with that.
It's wild that we spend drastically more time with our work colleagues than with our friends and family. I saw something the other day that by the time you leave home you've already spent 90% of the days you'll spend with your parents before they're gone.  |
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"I think that's true to some extent.
It does surprise me that we're so quick to judge others, to label them as being x, not able to change and yet we see ourselves as being more than a glimpse of insight in a post. Able to change. More nuanced than some sentences on a forum.
I guess we all judge, whether we're able to admit it or not. But having that skill to recognise our own bias is a good one."
We're all plagued by bias but most don't even properly understand the depth of what bias can mean.
We do hold ourselves up as morally perfect and all else are imperfect actors. We could all do with a good self inspection methinks. |
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"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”
Mike Tyson.
So true. "
Some people scream 'free speech' when what they actually mean is 'I want to say all the shitty things I really think but no one is allowed to call me out on it'. Not the same thing, and most of the time they wouldn't dare say it to someone's face. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"I think that's true to some extent.
It does surprise me that we're so quick to judge others, to label them as being x, not able to change and yet we see ourselves as being more than a glimpse of insight in a post. Able to change. More nuanced than some sentences on a forum.
I guess we all judge, whether we're able to admit it or not. But having that skill to recognise our own bias is a good one.
We're all plagued by bias but most don't even properly understand the depth of what bias can mean.
We do hold ourselves up as morally perfect and all else are imperfect actors. We could all do with a good self inspection methinks."
That's exactly it.
You notice it in things people say to you - take for example someone saying 'you always do X, Y and Z'. Do you really? I mean, let's put aside the exaggeration; there's also the fact that a person is failing to see you as a whole and thinks you're always doing something - failing to see their confirmation bias in play.
Maybe not too much self inspection though.  as much as I love navel gazing/overthinking, it's definitely possibly to over do it. |
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"You don't get much leeway outside of social media either unless you're forced to spend time with someone at work or something.
It is also true in the real world. Rampant individualism has a lot to do with that.
It's wild that we spend drastically more time with our work colleagues than with our friends and family. I saw something the other day that by the time you leave home you've already spent 90% of the days you'll spend with your parents before they're gone. "
I think we place way too much emphasis on work.
Your last point is quite sad for many but for some might be a huge relief |
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100% true! That's why I decided to stay away from politics section this time when I created this profile even though I was active the last time.
Human instinct for tribalism kicks in much easily when you have online debates. You can easily categorise and call someone names by seeing just a few of their posts. Only when you meet and talk to strangers in real life do have realise that there is nuance to everything. |
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"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.
This ^ promoted some self analysis.
Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media
That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.
"
If its prompted introspection then that's a good thing.
The forums teach me nothing really about people except to take things with a pinch of salt, as people put up fronts and facades in the hope of attracting some dick or vagina, so how true is their forum persona to their real life persona. There's alot of dishonesty that goes on in this pursuit... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.
This ^ promoted some self analysis.
Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media
That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.
If its prompted introspection then that's a good thing.
The forums teach me nothing really about people except to take things with a pinch of salt, as people put up fronts and facades in the hope of attracting some dick or vagina, so how true is their forum persona to their real life persona. There's alot of dishonesty that goes on in this pursuit..."
Fuck me that was very nearly a perfectly spelled post |
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"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.
This ^ promoted some self analysis.
Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media
That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.
If its prompted introspection then that's a good thing.
The forums teach me nothing really about people except to take things with a pinch of salt, as people put up fronts and facades in the hope of attracting some dick or vagina, so how true is their forum persona to their real life persona. There's alot of dishonesty that goes on in this pursuit...
Fuck me that was very nearly a perfectly spelled post "
Progress not perfection |
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"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.
This ^ promoted some self analysis.
Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media
That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.
"
I couldn’t agree more, OP!
I’ve been judged on here by things I’ve written, had my words picked apart and generally put down. It’s even worse when I respond and get told it’s my fault for misreading something.
I write what I think and who I am. Very few people on this site know me as anything more than a picture and a few words.
Passive aggressive responses irritate me and really get me down. I am just here for a laugh and to contribute my thoughts. They are not invalid or wrong, they are my thoughts. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.
This ^ promoted some self analysis.
Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media
That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.
If its prompted introspection then that's a good thing.
The forums teach me nothing really about people except to take things with a pinch of salt, as people put up fronts and facades in the hope of attracting some dick or vagina, so how true is their forum persona to their real life persona. There's alot of dishonesty that goes on in this pursuit...
Fuck me that was very nearly a perfectly spelled post
Progress not perfection "
So close! |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
When I make an assessment of someone on here based on what I see and what's written it's just personal to me. Nobody else including the person I'm assessing, judging....call it what you will.
I was always taught that first impressions last. Of course they can be wrong, but that's evaluated over time, so if there's only brief interaction there's no chance for that.
People judge eachother all the time. Sometimes they're right, sometimes they're wrong.
It matters a lot to not make snap calls and get it right if it's in a work environment, a relationship situation, new family relationships through partners or where there will be long term interactions.
Waaaaay less so on an online platform that revolves around idle chat and the expression of views on a site like this.
I couldn't care less how people I'll never meet or care for view me based on what I type on a screen. Likewise I'm kind of not bothered if someone thinks or feels I've wrongly assessed them based purely on my responses to their posts. I'll respond based on how I perceive things and people, not how they want to be viewed, whether I'm right or wrong. It's my opinion - nobody else's. It's there to be ignored and given zero value should you wish. It won't bother me at all. 
A |
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Great post OP. I like your point on individualism being at the root of the issue. I try my best not to judge someone until I’ve got to know them in person. Easier said than done though, I’ll be the first to admit! |
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"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.
This ^ promoted some self analysis.
Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media
That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.
If its prompted introspection then that's a good thing.
The forums teach me nothing really about people except to take things with a pinch of salt, as people put up fronts and facades in the hope of attracting some dick or vagina, so how true is their forum persona to their real life persona. There's alot of dishonesty that goes on in this pursuit...
Fuck me that was very nearly a perfectly spelled post
Progress not perfection
So close! "
I shall attain that blowjob my dyslexic brain shall not get in the way, of that instant oral gratification. |
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"Great post OP. I like your point on individualism being at the root of the issue. I try my best not to judge someone until I’ve got to know them in person. Easier said than done though, I’ll be the first to admit!"
Totally agree with this too. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"I couldn't care less how people I'll never meet or care for view me based on what I type on a screen. Likewise I'm kind of not bothered if someone thinks or feels I've wrongly assessed them based purely on my responses to their posts. I'll respond based on how I perceive things and people, not how they want to be viewed, whether I'm right or wrong. It's my opinion - nobody else's. It's there to be ignored and given zero value should you wish. It won't bother me at all.
A"
When I first read this I thought fuck, that's a bit heartless.
But the more I read it, the more I kind of like it. Sometimes I think I can be guilty of overthinking posts on here (my own, not others). We lose so much of seeing and hearing someone's accompanying voice, their emotions behind a post and it doesn't always translate. Humour, sadness etc. A wealth of emotions.
Equally, we can spend too much time thinking about it. Far too much.
I hope when I'm old I'm as wise as you Obi. |
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By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago
The dot in the i |
I probably overthink about others feelings about my posts which leads me to delete half of my comments before posting them but when I do it’s only a reply to whatever is being said in the moment and never anything more, fighting and arguing takes more energy than I want to give
Besides, other people’s thoughts are a reflection of themselves more than the person their aimed at
I know I’m not here to step on toes or cause ripples
If someone has an issue with you and they’re telling everyone but you, they don’t have an issue with you, they’re just enjoying that attention and using you as the clutch, adults can communicate and solve issues and move on, some simply can’t
It’s a good filter at times |
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If my only interaction with someone is through a forum I will judge them on whatever persona they present here.
I never pause for self reflection here because so much of what is said carries little or no value or weight and anyone judging me using the same criteria has no impact on my thoughts or feelings.
I have grown more cynical since I started using the forums because I've seen so many wolves in sheeps clothing and sheep pretending to be wolves.
I didn't realise fanny blindness was an actual affliction until I became a forum regular. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The problem with communicating via text on forums /social media is that around 80% of communication is in the tone, nuance, body language and connection.. So I'm not surprised at all that people make snap decisions based on their interpretation of the text, tone +meaning
Put the same sentence up from 5 different posters and you'll get the whole rainbow, and then some, of personal interpretation and according responses.. It would be a fascinating experiment
There is nothing wrong with unc*nscious bias - so long as you are aware of it.. Its hard to move the needle from your comfort zone, but definitely possible. Always good to take a breath before you hit reply and put yourself in that persons shoes and think how would i react... Could i make this softer, better.. Less antagonist etc |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I couldn't care less how people I'll never meet or care for view me based on what I type on a screen. Likewise I'm kind of not bothered if someone thinks or feels I've wrongly assessed them based purely on my responses to their posts. I'll respond based on how I perceive things and people, not how they want to be viewed, whether I'm right or wrong. It's my opinion - nobody else's. It's there to be ignored and given zero value should you wish. It won't bother me at all.
A
When I first read this I thought fuck, that's a bit heartless.
But the more I read it, the more I kind of like it. Sometimes I think I can be guilty of overthinking posts on here (my own, not others). We lose so much of seeing and hearing someone's accompanying voice, their emotions behind a post and it doesn't always translate. Humour, sadness etc. A wealth of emotions.
Equally, we can spend too much time thinking about it. Far too much.
I hope when I'm old I'm as wise as you Obi. "
I'm old. Not necessarily wise.  
I think people put too much thought into others opinions and what are essentially just words on a screen.
People disagree with what others write about opinions, views, events, news, people and anything and everything all the time. That's life. Expecting people to agree and see things the way you do is onky ever going to end badly - for you, not them. Because most people won't actually care if you agree with them or not. A lot of the 'thumbs up emoji use, the comments agreeing and the praise thrown at people js just smoke being blown up arses because people think it'll curry favour, get them in with what they think is the in crowd or the popular folk, and they'd likely agree black is white if the thought it would get them a fuck.
I'd rather someone was consistent in their views, their way of interacting with people and the image of themselves they portray of themselves. Whether I agree with them or not, like them or not or value their thoughts or not.
I don't have to like people to respect them. Nor do I have to agree with someone to value their thoughts.
I've never been here to please or validate others. I'm just passing my own time, typing my own shit and bimbleing along the forum road at my own speed.
Just do you and let others do them and worry not if the two disagree or appear to be on completely different wavelengths. That's life.
A |
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"Great post OP. I like your point on individualism being at the root of the issue. I try my best not to judge someone until I’ve got to know them in person. Easier said than done though, I’ll be the first to admit!"
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My take is that people always judged like this, but extensive written communication has upset the traditional balance of power, so those who succeed more offline notice the judgement.
Those who are a little more on the outer knew the judgement was there all along. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.
This ^ promoted some self analysis.
Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media
That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.
"
Yeah but are you for or against the forum?
Personally, I'm for it for reasons I've not thought through. |
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"If my only interaction with someone is through a forum I will judge them on whatever persona they present here.
I never pause for self reflection here because so much of what is said carries little or no value or weight and anyone judging me using the same criteria has no impact on my thoughts or feelings.
I have grown more cynical since I started using the forums because I've seen so many wolves in sheeps clothing and sheep pretending to be wolves.
I didn't realise fanny blindness was an actual affliction until I became a forum regular."
Fanny blindness hahaha. Adding that one to the vocabulary. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I think you can tell certain things from things people type. And certain things from things they say, and from what they do.
But any opinion one person has about another is heavily weighted by the bias, the personality and the opinions of the reader, and does not tell the whole story. |
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"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.
This ^ promoted some self analysis.
Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media
That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.
Yeah but are you for or against the forum?
Personally, I'm for it for reasons I've not thought through."
Ultimately humans communicating is a good thing. We're social creatures after all. Communication is definitely an art form and a skill to master. Forums gud |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.
This ^ promoted some self analysis.
Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media
That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.
Yeah but are you for or against the forum?
Personally, I'm for it for reasons I've not thought through.
Ultimately humans communicating is a good thing. We're social creatures after all. Communication is definitely an art form and a skill to master. Forums gud"
I'm all for them and personally hate anyone who is against them. |
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We all judge for sure! It's human nature! And yes make opinions on others here! I allways speak my mind in a polite way and probably get judged for that! I do think though when u have been here on the forums a good while its easy to form an opinion on regulars! X |
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"
The forums teach me nothing really about people except to take things with a pinch of salt, as people put up fronts and facades in the hope of attracting some dick or vagina, so how true is their forum persona to their real life persona. There's alot of dishonesty that goes on in this pursuit..."
I use to look at the forum persona's through rose tinted glasses, it's only when someone takes them off you, so you can see the golden apples, that you realise how many people are actually deceiving others. That really triggered my trust issues |
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"
The forums teach me nothing really about people except to take things with a pinch of salt, as people put up fronts and facades in the hope of attracting some dick or vagina, so how true is their forum persona to their real life persona. There's alot of dishonesty that goes on in this pursuit...
I use to look at the forum persona's through rose tinted glasses, it's only when someone takes them off you, so you can see the golden apples, that you realise how many people are actually deceiving others. That really triggered my trust issues "
Forum thread award for best username |
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It varies sometimes someone will post something that's just a whole lot of nope. But then there's others that have a way with words as it were and know how to play the game and say what someone or everyone wants to hear. |
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I think some judgements can be made about some individuals for sure. They don't even try to hide some traits I usually find unattractive. Too much ego, unable to listen to a different opinion, unnecessary and 'abusive' behaviour towards others, unkind to those less fortu ate, extreme political views that clouds any common sense, a sense of entitlement, especially if they have been on here for a while, constantly trying to derail threads or post ones that are obviously there to create friction etc etc. Surely most people will make some sort of judgement on those. Mine is to stay well clear, I am here to pass the time, educate myself about cake and possibly come across some nice people to chat or meet with |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m pretty open to people but I refuse to spend any of my free time with people that don’t believe in challenging discrimination or are in the business of debating my experience, having experienced so much discrimination in my life and as recently as Saturday where a bunch of people stood around doing nothing.
If that makes me shallow then from the bottom of my heart I do not care. |
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"I’m pretty open to people but I refuse to spend any of my free time with people that don’t believe in challenging discrimination or are in the business of debating my experience, having experienced so much discrimination in my life and as recently as Saturday where a bunch of people stood around doing nothing.
If that makes me shallow then from the bottom of my heart I do not care. "
 |
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"
The forums teach me nothing really about people except to take things with a pinch of salt, as people put up fronts and facades in the hope of attracting some dick or vagina, so how true is their forum persona to their real life persona. There's alot of dishonesty that goes on in this pursuit...
I use to look at the forum persona's through rose tinted glasses, it's only when someone takes them off you, so you can see the golden apples, that you realise how many people are actually deceiving others. That really triggered my trust issues "
See this is the thing, we will make meaning to things people say on what is virtually an anonymous platform, it does take experience for those Rose coloured glasses to be removed, and in turn the reality of this to be shown us. That not all what they seem to be, plus communication through the medium of messages is so easily misconstrued and misinterpreted.
Take me im fucking amazing in person, on here I'm a complete fucking twat. Tbf there's no difference from my online persona a d my in person persona, the one glaring difference is the environmental context, where someone in person, gets to feel my energy which is so important to gauge someone on, whereby online that is negated |
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I have no idea of others perception of me on here other than from what I hear from friends who I would like to think who know me well enough. In the same way my perception of others may be way off.
I don't think it really matters until you actually get to know someone. |
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We can't be all things to everyone, so our best bet is to just be ourselves. People will either like you or not, that's life. I don't post much on here any more, but I've always been quite direct, and I'm definitely not afraid to go against the grain. Some people find this refreshing, especially with the abundance of false personas on here. Some people just think I'm a c*nt, and they're entitled to that opinion of me. I don't tend to overthink these things. If different people have different opinions of me from the same behaviour, do I really need to do any self-reflection? If absolutely everyone thought I was a tw*t then that's obviously something that I'm doing to cause such a reaction. But mixed opinions of me? That's just individual judgements. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think the forums are a great filter ....I tend to look at ppl's views but more importantly how they express them. How you interact with ppl you don't know speaks volumes as it relates to character.
Also lets me find ppl who share similar interests/views that I could possibly vibe with |
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We all form some kind of opinion on everyone in here it's human nature.. I've met a fair few that have surprisingly been far nicer in person tbh ..
Then having said that being accused of something that is blatantly clearly not me really does rile me massively and I can't forgive that shite !!
Have a lovely afternoon all |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We can't be all things to everyone, so our best bet is to just be ourselves. People will either like you or not, that's life. I don't post much on here any more, but I've always been quite direct, and I'm definitely not afraid to go against the grain. Some people find this refreshing, especially with the abundance of false personas on here. Some people just think I'm a c*nt, and they're entitled to that opinion of me. I don't tend to overthink these things. If different people have different opinions of me from the same behaviour, do I really need to do any self-reflection? If absolutely everyone thought I was a tw*t then that's obviously something that I'm doing to cause such a reaction. But mixed opinions of me? That's just individual judgements. "
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"We all form some kind of opinion on everyone in here it's human nature.. I've met a fair few that have surprisingly been far nicer in person tbh ..
Then having said that being accused of something that is blatantly clearly not me really does rile me massively and I can't forgive that shite !!
Have a lovely afternoon all "
If it don't apply let it fly |
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"We all form some kind of opinion on everyone in here it's human nature.. I've met a fair few that have surprisingly been far nicer in person tbh ..
Then having said that being accused of something that is blatantly clearly not me really does rile me massively and I can't forgive that shite !!
Have a lovely afternoon all "
Grumpy by name… |
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"We all form some kind of opinion on everyone in here it's human nature.. I've met a fair few that have surprisingly been far nicer in person tbh ..
Then having said that being accused of something that is blatantly clearly not me really does rile me massively and I can't forgive that shite !!
Have a lovely afternoon all
Grumpy by name… "
Nah Happy as Larry me |
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"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.
This ^ promoted some self analysis.
Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media
That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.
"
are you trying to say they are part of an obvious clique? |
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I'm much more blunt on forums than I would be IRL. It can be interesting to see all the conversations that are going on and it can also be incredibly tedious seeing the same inane crap regurgitated all the time too.
The nice thing about forums is the distance and depersonalisation of it. If we were all in a room together I would be exhausted from masking after an hour. I'm not going to ever meet anyone from here so I don't have to care what anyone thinks of me, so the freedom from that is nice. |
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I think the big problem lies is the handheld mobile computers we all own (ie smartphones) more than with social media itself as such. People love theirs of course, but they are a human disaster imo! pt |
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"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.
This ^ promoted some self analysis.
Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media
That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.
are you trying to say they are part of an obvious clique? "
That wasn't really what I was getting at. Even though it feels like there's an element of that here sometimes. |
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"I'm much more blunt on forums than I would be IRL. It can be interesting to see all the conversations that are going on and it can also be incredibly tedious seeing the same inane crap regurgitated all the time too.
The nice thing about forums is the distance and depersonalisation of it. If we were all in a room together I would be exhausted from masking after an hour. I'm not going to ever meet anyone from here so I don't have to care what anyone thinks of me, so the freedom from that is nice. "
Like this take. Sympathetic towards the masking dealio also. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"I'm much more blunt on forums than I would be IRL. It can be interesting to see all the conversations that are going on and it can also be incredibly tedious seeing the same inane crap regurgitated all the time too.
The nice thing about forums is the distance and depersonalisation of it. If we were all in a room together I would be exhausted from masking after an hour. I'm not going to ever meet anyone from here so I don't have to care what anyone thinks of me, so the freedom from that is nice. "
So much this!
While some can throw up fake personas, hide their real selves and views behind a screen to ensure they maintain a visible image of sugar and spice and appeal to the masses or specific target groups, the distance offered enables others to be 100% themselves, open and honest, clear in their beliefs and views and represent themselves accurately - without the drama that would entail if they were as forthright, blunt and honest in a face to face environment.
Some find being so open difficult in real life situations for fear of causing upset, any verbal (or potentially even physical) retaliation, being seen as rude by those on the receiving end of truthful opinions and because generally people in face to face social situations hold back, are often more reserved and occasionally more bothered about putting up a good front than showing their true selves.
The internet is a great leveller. There's no volume control where someone can shout louder (TYPING IN CAPS MEANS FUCK ALL ), nobody can invade your personal space and get right in your face to attempt to intimidate you and no matter how heated discussions become they'll never become physical conflicts.
It's far easier for anyone to stand their ground and argue their case online than it is in person, especially for those who can sometimes lack confidence.
A |
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"I'm much more blunt on forums than I would be IRL. It can be interesting to see all the conversations that are going on and it can also be incredibly tedious seeing the same inane crap regurgitated all the time too.
The nice thing about forums is the distance and depersonalisation of it. If we were all in a room together I would be exhausted from masking after an hour. I'm not going to ever meet anyone from here so I don't have to care what anyone thinks of me, so the freedom from that is nice.
So much this!
While some can throw up fake personas, hide their real selves and views behind a screen to ensure they maintain a visible image of sugar and spice and appeal to the masses or specific target groups, the distance offered enables others to be 100% themselves, open and honest, clear in their beliefs and views and represent themselves accurately - without the drama that would entail if they were as forthright, blunt and honest in a face to face environment.
Some find being so open difficult in real life situations for fear of causing upset, any verbal (or potentially even physical) retaliation, being seen as rude by those on the receiving end of truthful opinions and because generally people in face to face social situations hold back, are often more reserved and occasionally more bothered about putting up a good front than showing their true selves.
The internet is a great leveller. There's no volume control where someone can shout louder (TYPING IN CAPS MEANS FUCK ALL ), nobody can invade your personal space and get right in your face to attempt to intimidate you and no matter how heated discussions become they'll never become physical conflicts.
It's far easier for anyone to stand their ground and argue their case online than it is in person, especially for those who can sometimes lack confidence.
A"
Very insightful. Wise words indeed |
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"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.
This ^ promoted some self analysis.
Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media
That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.
"
I don't think social media has made us more judgemental but I do think it has made it feel more acceptable to give voice to our opinions. We are all judgemental to one extent or another, very few people even attempt to be impartial and even fewer succeed. Social media has just given people bandwagons to jump on safe in the knowledge there are others that think the same. Fitting in has always been a significant driver in human behaviour and that's a lot easier to do online. You have the reassurance of relative anonymity if others don't support your views and a big enough audience to ensure some at least will do. |
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"You don't get much leeway outside of social media either unless you're forced to spend time with someone at work or something.
It is also true in the real world. Rampant individualism has a lot to do with that.
It's wild that we spend drastically more time with our work colleagues than with our friends and family. I saw something the other day that by the time you leave home you've already spent 90% of the days you'll spend with your parents before they're gone. "
Recent union-related jiggery-pokery at work has really underscored the rampant individualism for me. People can't think that it might benefit someone else marginally more than them, so will say no, or find fault where there is none. It's astonishing, actually. |
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"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect "
I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC |
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"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect
I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC "
It's because I'm old isn't it |
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"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect
I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC
It's because I'm old isn't it "
Maybe...... |
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"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect
I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC
It's because I'm old isn't it
Maybe...... "
I have to say that I'm often surprised by how seriously people take others internet based assessment of them when they clearly know very little about them. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect
I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC
It's because I'm old isn't it
Maybe......
I have to say that I'm often surprised by how seriously people take others internet based assessment of them when they clearly know very little about them. "
At a social I was chatting to a long time forum user and getting along swimmingly, then she asked my Fab name.
When I told her she said oh, I always thought you were a bit of a c***, and laughed.
Just goes to show |
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"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect
I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC
It's because I'm old isn't it
Maybe......
I have to say that I'm often surprised by how seriously people take others internet based assessment of them when they clearly know very little about them.
At a social I was chatting to a long time forum user and getting along swimmingly, then she asked my Fab name.
When I told her she said oh, I always thought you were a bit of a c***, and laughed.
Just goes to show "
|
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"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect
I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC
It's because I'm old isn't it
Maybe......
I have to say that I'm often surprised by how seriously people take others internet based assessment of them when they clearly know very little about them. "
Very true. NC, if we do ever descend to visit family on the south coast, we shall wave and see if you're free for one of your fancy coffee/cakes, because I reckon we'd get on well socially |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I understand where you’re coming from but not all is as it seems on here. We’ve met a few people from here at social events/clubs and they’ve not been anything like they are on here. We’ve met just as many who are exactly the same as they are on here. So really, you can’t judge people too much by what they say or do here on the forums
Mr |
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"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect
I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC
It's because I'm old isn't it
Maybe......
I have to say that I'm often surprised by how seriously people take others internet based assessment of them when they clearly know very little about them.
Very true. NC, if we do ever descend to visit family on the south coast, we shall wave and see if you're free for one of your fancy coffee/cakes, because I reckon we'd get on well socially "
That would be lovely . Coffee and donuts on Hastings pier is an experience not to be missed but I'm not sure you'd call it fancy |
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"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”
Mike Tyson.
So true.
Some people scream 'free speech' when what they actually mean is 'I want to say all the shitty things I really think but no one is allowed to call me out on it'. Not the same thing, and most of the time they wouldn't dare say it to someone's face."
Absolutely this.
This type of person wants to say whatever shitty thing they want with no consequence |
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"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”
Mike Tyson.
So true.
Some people scream 'free speech' when what they actually mean is 'I want to say all the shitty things I really think but no one is allowed to call me out on it'. Not the same thing, and most of the time they wouldn't dare say it to someone's face.
Absolutely this.
This type of person wants to say whatever shitty thing they want with no consequence "
You are never going to be able to explain to them that freedom of speech is not freedom of consequence. |
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Forums really tell you nothing about the person, some people find it difficult to guage sarcasm, humour, the point you're trying to make, so you are unable to come across as you and will get judged upon it, just be aware of that in every comment you make. Online has an element of unaccountability so people say things they wouldn't normally  |
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"Forums really tell you nothing about the person, some people find it difficult to guage sarcasm, humour, the point you're trying to make, so you are unable to come across as you and will get judged upon it, just be aware of that in every comment you make. Online has an element of unaccountability so people say things they wouldn't normally "
I’d disagree. I’ve seen some vile xenophobic and sexist comments in these forums… that told me a great deal about the people making them |
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"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”
Mike Tyson.
So true.
Some people scream 'free speech' when what they actually mean is 'I want to say all the shitty things I really think but no one is allowed to call me out on it'. Not the same thing, and most of the time they wouldn't dare say it to someone's face.
Absolutely this.
This type of person wants to say whatever shitty thing they want with no consequence
You are never going to be able to explain to them that freedom of speech is not freedom of consequence. "
But I thought consequences were a way to suppress speech I like?
It's justice when it's speech I don't like.
Or something. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”
Mike Tyson.
So true.
Some people scream 'free speech' when what they actually mean is 'I want to say all the shitty things I really think but no one is allowed to call me out on it'. Not the same thing, and most of the time they wouldn't dare say it to someone's face.
Absolutely this.
This type of person wants to say whatever shitty thing they want with no consequence "
What would the consequence be?
For every 'keyboard warrior' there's a wannabe Mike Tyson. Both pathetic.
As for the whole 'wouldn't say it to their face' bollocks. Does that mean Tyson's entitled to say whatever he wants just because he could punch you out? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It does and it doesn't.
Sometimes, taking things at face value and not reading between the lines, something will be missed.
However, sometimes reading between the lines instead of taking it at face value, that can give the wrong picture.
It's not only how others put themselves across, it's how we each read into their words and actions, sometimes our view of another is simply a reflection upon ourselves.
I guess, the threads we choose to post upon are possibly more telling.
Maybe. |
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"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”
Mike Tyson.
So true.
Some people scream 'free speech' when what they actually mean is 'I want to say all the shitty things I really think but no one is allowed to call me out on it'. Not the same thing, and most of the time they wouldn't dare say it to someone's face.
Absolutely this.
This type of person wants to say whatever shitty thing they want with no consequence
You are never going to be able to explain to them that freedom of speech is not freedom of consequence.
But I thought consequences were a way to suppress speech I like?
It's justice when it's speech I don't like.
Or something."
Actions have consequences, speech is an action.
Freedom of speech allows you to say what you want but it doesn't free you from the consequences of what you said.
For an over the top example.
You tell your partner you hate everything about them. Freedom of speech.
In response to your words they leave you. Consequence.
|
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"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”
Mike Tyson.
So true.
Some people scream 'free speech' when what they actually mean is 'I want to say all the shitty things I really think but no one is allowed to call me out on it'. Not the same thing, and most of the time they wouldn't dare say it to someone's face.
Absolutely this.
This type of person wants to say whatever shitty thing they want with no consequence
You are never going to be able to explain to them that freedom of speech is not freedom of consequence.
But I thought consequences were a way to suppress speech I like?
It's justice when it's speech I don't like.
Or something.
Actions have consequences, speech is an action.
Freedom of speech allows you to say what you want but it doesn't free you from the consequences of what you said.
For an over the top example.
You tell your partner you hate everything about them. Freedom of speech.
In response to your words they leave you. Consequence.
"
I know. I'm being sarcastic, sorry.
There's some level of discourse where... people think that they can say what they want and any sort of reaction (including negative inference) is creeping tyranny.
Of course, that's not how anything works. |
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"Forums really tell you nothing about the person, some people find it difficult to guage sarcasm, humour, the point you're trying to make, so you are unable to come across as you and will get judged upon it, just be aware of that in every comment you make. Online has an element of unaccountability so people say things they wouldn't normally
I’d disagree. I’ve seen some vile xenophobic and sexist comments in these forums… that told me a great deal about the people making them "
yes maybe you have but in isolation |
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"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”
Mike Tyson.
So true.
Some people scream 'free speech' when what they actually mean is 'I want to say all the shitty things I really think but no one is allowed to call me out on it'. Not the same thing, and most of the time they wouldn't dare say it to someone's face.
Absolutely this.
This type of person wants to say whatever shitty thing they want with no consequence
You are never going to be able to explain to them that freedom of speech is not freedom of consequence.
But I thought consequences were a way to suppress speech I like?
It's justice when it's speech I don't like.
Or something.
Actions have consequences, speech is an action.
Freedom of speech allows you to say what you want but it doesn't free you from the consequences of what you said.
For an over the top example.
You tell your partner you hate everything about them. Freedom of speech.
In response to your words they leave you. Consequence.
I know. I'm being sarcastic, sorry.
There's some level of discourse where... people think that they can say what they want and any sort of reaction (including negative inference) is creeping tyranny.
Of course, that's not how anything works."
Oh, yeah that makes sense. I have shamed my ancestors in missing a sarcasm. |
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"It does and it doesn't.
Sometimes, taking things at face value and not reading between the lines, something will be missed.
However, sometimes reading between the lines instead of taking it at face value, that can give the wrong picture.
It's not only how others put themselves across, it's how we each read into their words and actions, sometimes our view of another is simply a reflection upon ourselves.
I guess, the threads we choose to post upon are possibly more telling.
Maybe."
Absolutely this, everything has to be brought back to first person and self... |
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"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect
I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC
It's because I'm old isn't it
Maybe......
I have to say that I'm often surprised by how seriously people take others internet based assessment of them when they clearly know very little about them.
At a social I was chatting to a long time forum user and getting along swimmingly, then she asked my Fab name.
When I told her she said oh, I always thought you were a bit of a c***, and laughed.
Just goes to show "
This says it all |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Great post OP. I like your point on individualism being at the root of the issue. I try my best not to judge someone until I’ve got to know them in person. Easier said than done though, I’ll be the first to admit!"
I don’t struggle to withhold judgement. There is literally one person in life I don’t like and it’s been building a few years and supported by things close friends have said about them.
Other than that person I dint really judge anyone, certainly no one here has ever upset or offended me, a few have tried but failed |
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"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.
This ^ promoted some self analysis.
Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media
That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.
"
Don’t do social media ( fbook,insta etc) personally feel the world would be a better place without it, but hey what the hell do I know ! |
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By *otsossieMan
over a year ago
local, but not too local |
I’m happy to say I don’t really care what people think online.
Different platforms reflect different facets of your personality, and there’s always going to be a clash with someone - and odds are it will be mutual. You might get on fine in real life. You might not. |
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By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.
This ^ promoted some self analysis.
Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media
That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.
"
From when I was younger in the 70s I was always being judged without people knowing me. It us just nowadays with social media you are exposed to the behaviour even more. People's behaviour does not change that much. |
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I read approx the first ten of the posts....
When responding on here or any where else including 'real life' it is the comment made and never the person that I respond to.
I find that those of us who remain immature due to experiences or pure genetics tend to attack the person. They fight and defend. That is all they are capable of.
People like this lack the ability to think and see that what they have read or heard from another is simply thought.
It's a bit like not liking the news on the radio so you throw the radio at the wall to smash the whole thing.
Conversation over. No need to think and grow. |
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"I read approx the first ten of the posts....
When responding on here or any where else including 'real life' it is the comment made and never the person that I respond to.
I find that those of us who remain immature due to experiences or pure genetics tend to attack the person. They fight and defend. That is all they are capable of.
People like this lack the ability to think and see that what they have read or heard from another is simply thought.
It's a bit like not liking the news on the radio so you throw the radio at the wall to smash the whole thing.
Conversation over. No need to think and grow."
Emotional intelligence plays a big part in it, and regulation of emotions. What people negate is the triggering effect of words. Then the ability to deal with what ever gets brought for them. Hence the reacting instead if responding.. and not giving themselves the gift of the pause... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I read approx the first ten of the posts....
When responding on here or any where else including 'real life' it is the comment made and never the person that I respond to.
I find that those of us who remain immature due to experiences or pure genetics tend to attack the person. They fight and defend. That is all they are capable of.
People like this lack the ability to think and see that what they have read or heard from another is simply thought.
It's a bit like not liking the news on the radio so you throw the radio at the wall to smash the whole thing.
Conversation over. No need to think and grow."
Didn’t read but I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN AGES |
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"I read approx the first ten of the posts....
When responding on here or any where else including 'real life' it is the comment made and never the person that I respond to.
I find that those of us who remain immature due to experiences or pure genetics tend to attack the person. They fight and defend. That is all they are capable of.
People like this lack the ability to think and see that what they have read or heard from another is simply thought.
It's a bit like not liking the news on the radio so you throw the radio at the wall to smash the whole thing.
Conversation over. No need to think and grow.
Didn’t read but I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN AGES"
Sorry 2long n not your dong ! |
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"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.
This ^ promoted some self analysis.
Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media
That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.
"
That lot says a lot about you. |
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"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.
This ^ promoted some self analysis.
Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media
That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.
That lot says a lot about you."
Right back at ya |
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