FabSwingers.com
 

FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Forums say a lot about people.

Forums say a lot about people.

Jump to: Newest in thread

 

By *eadintheclouds OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester

My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.

This ^ promoted some self analysis.

Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media

That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

You don't get much leeway outside of social media either unless you're forced to spend time with someone at work or something.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”

Mike Tyson.

So true.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.

I think that's true to some extent.

It does surprise me that we're so quick to judge others, to label them as being x, not able to change and yet we see ourselves as being more than a glimpse of insight in a post. Able to change. More nuanced than some sentences on a forum.

I guess we all judge, whether we're able to admit it or not. But having that skill to recognise our own bias is a good one.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eadintheclouds OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester


"You don't get much leeway outside of social media either unless you're forced to spend time with someone at work or something. "

It is also true in the real world. Rampant individualism has a lot to do with that.

It's wild that we spend drastically more time with our work colleagues than with our friends and family. I saw something the other day that by the time you leave home you've already spent 90% of the days you'll spend with your parents before they're gone.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *mf123Man  over a year ago

with one foot out the door

It says nothing about me that i dont say myself all else is just lies on lies with apple pies

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eadintheclouds OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester


"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”

Mike Tyson.

So true. "

This is a killer quote!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *renzMan  over a year ago

Between Chichester and Havant

They do.

I'm often surprised at the naivety of many, especially in this day and age.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eadintheclouds OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester


"I think that's true to some extent.

It does surprise me that we're so quick to judge others, to label them as being x, not able to change and yet we see ourselves as being more than a glimpse of insight in a post. Able to change. More nuanced than some sentences on a forum.

I guess we all judge, whether we're able to admit it or not. But having that skill to recognise our own bias is a good one."

We're all plagued by bias but most don't even properly understand the depth of what bias can mean.

We do hold ourselves up as morally perfect and all else are imperfect actors. We could all do with a good self inspection methinks.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *empusMan  over a year ago

Poole

I do feel free to talk on these forums, surprise myself sometimes, but am always respectful (or try to be at least) x

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds

I think it would make for quite comical reading hearing people opinions of me

The mr

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eiaorganaWoman  over a year ago

Dundee


"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”

Mike Tyson.

So true. "

Some people scream 'free speech' when what they actually mean is 'I want to say all the shitty things I really think but no one is allowed to call me out on it'. Not the same thing, and most of the time they wouldn't dare say it to someone's face.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.


"I think that's true to some extent.

It does surprise me that we're so quick to judge others, to label them as being x, not able to change and yet we see ourselves as being more than a glimpse of insight in a post. Able to change. More nuanced than some sentences on a forum.

I guess we all judge, whether we're able to admit it or not. But having that skill to recognise our own bias is a good one.

We're all plagued by bias but most don't even properly understand the depth of what bias can mean.

We do hold ourselves up as morally perfect and all else are imperfect actors. We could all do with a good self inspection methinks."

That's exactly it.

You notice it in things people say to you - take for example someone saying 'you always do X, Y and Z'. Do you really? I mean, let's put aside the exaggeration; there's also the fact that a person is failing to see you as a whole and thinks you're always doing something - failing to see their confirmation bias in play.

Maybe not too much self inspection though. as much as I love navel gazing/overthinking, it's definitely possibly to over do it.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"You don't get much leeway outside of social media either unless you're forced to spend time with someone at work or something.

It is also true in the real world. Rampant individualism has a lot to do with that.

It's wild that we spend drastically more time with our work colleagues than with our friends and family. I saw something the other day that by the time you leave home you've already spent 90% of the days you'll spend with your parents before they're gone. "

I think we place way too much emphasis on work.

Your last point is quite sad for many but for some might be a huge relief

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ostindreamsMan  over a year ago

London

100% true! That's why I decided to stay away from politics section this time when I created this profile even though I was active the last time.

Human instinct for tribalism kicks in much easily when you have online debates. You can easily categorise and call someone names by seeing just a few of their posts. Only when you meet and talk to strangers in real life do have realise that there is nuance to everything.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.

This ^ promoted some self analysis.

Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media

That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.

"

If its prompted introspection then that's a good thing.

The forums teach me nothing really about people except to take things with a pinch of salt, as people put up fronts and facades in the hope of attracting some dick or vagina, so how true is their forum persona to their real life persona. There's alot of dishonesty that goes on in this pursuit...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.

This ^ promoted some self analysis.

Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media

That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.

If its prompted introspection then that's a good thing.

The forums teach me nothing really about people except to take things with a pinch of salt, as people put up fronts and facades in the hope of attracting some dick or vagina, so how true is their forum persona to their real life persona. There's alot of dishonesty that goes on in this pursuit..."

Fuck me that was very nearly a perfectly spelled post

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.

This ^ promoted some self analysis.

Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media

That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.

If its prompted introspection then that's a good thing.

The forums teach me nothing really about people except to take things with a pinch of salt, as people put up fronts and facades in the hope of attracting some dick or vagina, so how true is their forum persona to their real life persona. There's alot of dishonesty that goes on in this pursuit...

Fuck me that was very nearly a perfectly spelled post "

Progress not perfection

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8


"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.

This ^ promoted some self analysis.

Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media

That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.

"

I couldn’t agree more, OP!

I’ve been judged on here by things I’ve written, had my words picked apart and generally put down. It’s even worse when I respond and get told it’s my fault for misreading something.

I write what I think and who I am. Very few people on this site know me as anything more than a picture and a few words.

Passive aggressive responses irritate me and really get me down. I am just here for a laugh and to contribute my thoughts. They are not invalid or wrong, they are my thoughts.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *astandFeistyCouple  over a year ago

Bournemouth

The forums have told me that way too many people are far too happy to judge people after having just one interaction or reading just a few posts.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.

This ^ promoted some self analysis.

Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media

That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.

If its prompted introspection then that's a good thing.

The forums teach me nothing really about people except to take things with a pinch of salt, as people put up fronts and facades in the hope of attracting some dick or vagina, so how true is their forum persona to their real life persona. There's alot of dishonesty that goes on in this pursuit...

Fuck me that was very nearly a perfectly spelled post

Progress not perfection "

So close!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inky Biscuit DunkerMan  over a year ago

Gloucestershire

OP have you ever ventured into the Virus forum?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

When I make an assessment of someone on here based on what I see and what's written it's just personal to me. Nobody else including the person I'm assessing, judging....call it what you will.

I was always taught that first impressions last. Of course they can be wrong, but that's evaluated over time, so if there's only brief interaction there's no chance for that.

People judge eachother all the time. Sometimes they're right, sometimes they're wrong.

It matters a lot to not make snap calls and get it right if it's in a work environment, a relationship situation, new family relationships through partners or where there will be long term interactions.

Waaaaay less so on an online platform that revolves around idle chat and the expression of views on a site like this.

I couldn't care less how people I'll never meet or care for view me based on what I type on a screen. Likewise I'm kind of not bothered if someone thinks or feels I've wrongly assessed them based purely on my responses to their posts. I'll respond based on how I perceive things and people, not how they want to be viewed, whether I'm right or wrong. It's my opinion - nobody else's. It's there to be ignored and given zero value should you wish. It won't bother me at all.

A

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *akingMemoriesMan  over a year ago

Toronto

Great post OP. I like your point on individualism being at the root of the issue. I try my best not to judge someone until I’ve got to know them in person. Easier said than done though, I’ll be the first to admit!

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.

This ^ promoted some self analysis.

Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media

That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.

If its prompted introspection then that's a good thing.

The forums teach me nothing really about people except to take things with a pinch of salt, as people put up fronts and facades in the hope of attracting some dick or vagina, so how true is their forum persona to their real life persona. There's alot of dishonesty that goes on in this pursuit...

Fuck me that was very nearly a perfectly spelled post

Progress not perfection

So close! "

I shall attain that blowjob my dyslexic brain shall not get in the way, of that instant oral gratification.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *oyahandrussCouple  over a year ago

Nr Rugby


"Great post OP. I like your point on individualism being at the root of the issue. I try my best not to judge someone until I’ve got to know them in person. Easier said than done though, I’ll be the first to admit!"
Totally agree with this too.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eliWoman  over a year ago

.


"I couldn't care less how people I'll never meet or care for view me based on what I type on a screen. Likewise I'm kind of not bothered if someone thinks or feels I've wrongly assessed them based purely on my responses to their posts. I'll respond based on how I perceive things and people, not how they want to be viewed, whether I'm right or wrong. It's my opinion - nobody else's. It's there to be ignored and given zero value should you wish. It won't bother me at all.

A"

When I first read this I thought fuck, that's a bit heartless.

But the more I read it, the more I kind of like it. Sometimes I think I can be guilty of overthinking posts on here (my own, not others). We lose so much of seeing and hearing someone's accompanying voice, their emotions behind a post and it doesn't always translate. Humour, sadness etc. A wealth of emotions.

Equally, we can spend too much time thinking about it. Far too much.

I hope when I'm old I'm as wise as you Obi.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *vilgasamWoman  over a year ago

The dot in the i

I probably overthink about others feelings about my posts which leads me to delete half of my comments before posting them but when I do it’s only a reply to whatever is being said in the moment and never anything more, fighting and arguing takes more energy than I want to give

Besides, other people’s thoughts are a reflection of themselves more than the person their aimed at

I know I’m not here to step on toes or cause ripples

If someone has an issue with you and they’re telling everyone but you, they don’t have an issue with you, they’re just enjoying that attention and using you as the clutch, adults can communicate and solve issues and move on, some simply can’t

It’s a good filter at times

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ealitybitesMan  over a year ago

Belfast

If my only interaction with someone is through a forum I will judge them on whatever persona they present here.

I never pause for self reflection here because so much of what is said carries little or no value or weight and anyone judging me using the same criteria has no impact on my thoughts or feelings.

I have grown more cynical since I started using the forums because I've seen so many wolves in sheeps clothing and sheep pretending to be wolves.

I didn't realise fanny blindness was an actual affliction until I became a forum regular.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

The problem with communicating via text on forums /social media is that around 80% of communication is in the tone, nuance, body language and connection.. So I'm not surprised at all that people make snap decisions based on their interpretation of the text, tone +meaning

Put the same sentence up from 5 different posters and you'll get the whole rainbow, and then some, of personal interpretation and according responses.. It would be a fascinating experiment

There is nothing wrong with unc*nscious bias - so long as you are aware of it.. Its hard to move the needle from your comfort zone, but definitely possible. Always good to take a breath before you hit reply and put yourself in that persons shoes and think how would i react... Could i make this softer, better.. Less antagonist etc

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I couldn't care less how people I'll never meet or care for view me based on what I type on a screen. Likewise I'm kind of not bothered if someone thinks or feels I've wrongly assessed them based purely on my responses to their posts. I'll respond based on how I perceive things and people, not how they want to be viewed, whether I'm right or wrong. It's my opinion - nobody else's. It's there to be ignored and given zero value should you wish. It won't bother me at all.

A

When I first read this I thought fuck, that's a bit heartless.

But the more I read it, the more I kind of like it. Sometimes I think I can be guilty of overthinking posts on here (my own, not others). We lose so much of seeing and hearing someone's accompanying voice, their emotions behind a post and it doesn't always translate. Humour, sadness etc. A wealth of emotions.

Equally, we can spend too much time thinking about it. Far too much.

I hope when I'm old I'm as wise as you Obi. "

I'm old. Not necessarily wise.

I think people put too much thought into others opinions and what are essentially just words on a screen.

People disagree with what others write about opinions, views, events, news, people and anything and everything all the time. That's life. Expecting people to agree and see things the way you do is onky ever going to end badly - for you, not them. Because most people won't actually care if you agree with them or not. A lot of the 'thumbs up emoji use, the comments agreeing and the praise thrown at people js just smoke being blown up arses because people think it'll curry favour, get them in with what they think is the in crowd or the popular folk, and they'd likely agree black is white if the thought it would get them a fuck.

I'd rather someone was consistent in their views, their way of interacting with people and the image of themselves they portray of themselves. Whether I agree with them or not, like them or not or value their thoughts or not.

I don't have to like people to respect them. Nor do I have to agree with someone to value their thoughts.

I've never been here to please or validate others. I'm just passing my own time, typing my own shit and bimbleing along the forum road at my own speed.

Just do you and let others do them and worry not if the two disagree or appear to be on completely different wavelengths. That's life.

A

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eadintheclouds OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester


"OP have you ever ventured into the Virus forum? "

I dare not think I'd struggle to practice what I preach hahaha

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eadintheclouds OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester


"Great post OP. I like your point on individualism being at the root of the issue. I try my best not to judge someone until I’ve got to know them in person. Easier said than done though, I’ll be the first to admit!"

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

My take is that people always judged like this, but extensive written communication has upset the traditional balance of power, so those who succeed more offline notice the judgement.

Those who are a little more on the outer knew the judgement was there all along.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.

This ^ promoted some self analysis.

Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media

That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.

"

Yeah but are you for or against the forum?

Personally, I'm for it for reasons I've not thought through.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eadintheclouds OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester


"If my only interaction with someone is through a forum I will judge them on whatever persona they present here.

I never pause for self reflection here because so much of what is said carries little or no value or weight and anyone judging me using the same criteria has no impact on my thoughts or feelings.

I have grown more cynical since I started using the forums because I've seen so many wolves in sheeps clothing and sheep pretending to be wolves.

I didn't realise fanny blindness was an actual affliction until I became a forum regular."

Fanny blindness hahaha. Adding that one to the vocabulary.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *otSoPoshWoman  over a year ago

In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon

I think you can tell certain things from things people type. And certain things from things they say, and from what they do.

But any opinion one person has about another is heavily weighted by the bias, the personality and the opinions of the reader, and does not tell the whole story.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eadintheclouds OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester


"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.

This ^ promoted some self analysis.

Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media

That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.

Yeah but are you for or against the forum?

Personally, I'm for it for reasons I've not thought through."

Ultimately humans communicating is a good thing. We're social creatures after all. Communication is definitely an art form and a skill to master. Forums gud

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.

This ^ promoted some self analysis.

Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media

That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.

Yeah but are you for or against the forum?

Personally, I'm for it for reasons I've not thought through.

Ultimately humans communicating is a good thing. We're social creatures after all. Communication is definitely an art form and a skill to master. Forums gud"

I'm all for them and personally hate anyone who is against them.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *andyfloss2000Woman  over a year ago

ashford

We all judge for sure! It's human nature! And yes make opinions on others here! I allways speak my mind in a polite way and probably get judged for that! I do think though when u have been here on the forums a good while its easy to form an opinion on regulars! X

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *hrista BellendWoman  over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights


"

The forums teach me nothing really about people except to take things with a pinch of salt, as people put up fronts and facades in the hope of attracting some dick or vagina, so how true is their forum persona to their real life persona. There's alot of dishonesty that goes on in this pursuit..."

I use to look at the forum persona's through rose tinted glasses, it's only when someone takes them off you, so you can see the golden apples, that you realise how many people are actually deceiving others. That really triggered my trust issues

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eadintheclouds OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester


"

The forums teach me nothing really about people except to take things with a pinch of salt, as people put up fronts and facades in the hope of attracting some dick or vagina, so how true is their forum persona to their real life persona. There's alot of dishonesty that goes on in this pursuit...

I use to look at the forum persona's through rose tinted glasses, it's only when someone takes them off you, so you can see the golden apples, that you realise how many people are actually deceiving others. That really triggered my trust issues "

Forum thread award for best username

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think you can and should judge people by what they write. It's straight from their brain and often unfiltered.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ocksareoffMan  over a year ago

Out n About

It varies sometimes someone will post something that's just a whole lot of nope. But then there's others that have a way with words as it were and know how to play the game and say what someone or everyone wants to hear.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *obilebottomMan  over a year ago

All over

I think some judgements can be made about some individuals for sure. They don't even try to hide some traits I usually find unattractive. Too much ego, unable to listen to a different opinion, unnecessary and 'abusive' behaviour towards others, unkind to those less fortu ate, extreme political views that clouds any common sense, a sense of entitlement, especially if they have been on here for a while, constantly trying to derail threads or post ones that are obviously there to create friction etc etc. Surely most people will make some sort of judgement on those. Mine is to stay well clear, I am here to pass the time, educate myself about cake and possibly come across some nice people to chat or meet with

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *he_Secret_GardenWoman  over a year ago

Naughty Lane

I'm usually pretty sarcastic on forums and talking rubbish

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’m pretty open to people but I refuse to spend any of my free time with people that don’t believe in challenging discrimination or are in the business of debating my experience, having experienced so much discrimination in my life and as recently as Saturday where a bunch of people stood around doing nothing.

If that makes me shallow then from the bottom of my heart I do not care.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"I’m pretty open to people but I refuse to spend any of my free time with people that don’t believe in challenging discrimination or are in the business of debating my experience, having experienced so much discrimination in my life and as recently as Saturday where a bunch of people stood around doing nothing.

If that makes me shallow then from the bottom of my heart I do not care. "

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”

Mike Tyson.

So true. "

Haha. True.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"

The forums teach me nothing really about people except to take things with a pinch of salt, as people put up fronts and facades in the hope of attracting some dick or vagina, so how true is their forum persona to their real life persona. There's alot of dishonesty that goes on in this pursuit...

I use to look at the forum persona's through rose tinted glasses, it's only when someone takes them off you, so you can see the golden apples, that you realise how many people are actually deceiving others. That really triggered my trust issues "

See this is the thing, we will make meaning to things people say on what is virtually an anonymous platform, it does take experience for those Rose coloured glasses to be removed, and in turn the reality of this to be shown us. That not all what they seem to be, plus communication through the medium of messages is so easily misconstrued and misinterpreted.

Take me im fucking amazing in person, on here I'm a complete fucking twat. Tbf there's no difference from my online persona a d my in person persona, the one glaring difference is the environmental context, where someone in person, gets to feel my energy which is so important to gauge someone on, whereby online that is negated

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *lexanderSupertrampMan  over a year ago

Gourock

I have no idea of others perception of me on here other than from what I hear from friends who I would like to think who know me well enough. In the same way my perception of others may be way off.

I don't think it really matters until you actually get to know someone.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ily WhiteWoman  over a year ago

?

We can't be all things to everyone, so our best bet is to just be ourselves. People will either like you or not, that's life. I don't post much on here any more, but I've always been quite direct, and I'm definitely not afraid to go against the grain. Some people find this refreshing, especially with the abundance of false personas on here. Some people just think I'm a c*nt, and they're entitled to that opinion of me. I don't tend to overthink these things. If different people have different opinions of me from the same behaviour, do I really need to do any self-reflection? If absolutely everyone thought I was a tw*t then that's obviously something that I'm doing to cause such a reaction. But mixed opinions of me? That's just individual judgements.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I think the forums are a great filter ....I tend to look at ppl's views but more importantly how they express them. How you interact with ppl you don't know speaks volumes as it relates to character.

Also lets me find ppl who share similar interests/views that I could possibly vibe with

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *iddlesticksMan  over a year ago

My nan’s spare room.

I’m a reasonably happy happy who is reasonably happy and occasionally funny and often unsuccessfully flirty.

A quick perusal of my thread posting should ratify that.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity

We all form some kind of opinion on everyone in here it's human nature.. I've met a fair few that have surprisingly been far nicer in person tbh ..

Then having said that being accused of something that is blatantly clearly not me really does rile me massively and I can't forgive that shite !!

Have a lovely afternoon all

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

That’s why private notes are very handy

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"We can't be all things to everyone, so our best bet is to just be ourselves. People will either like you or not, that's life. I don't post much on here any more, but I've always been quite direct, and I'm definitely not afraid to go against the grain. Some people find this refreshing, especially with the abundance of false personas on here. Some people just think I'm a c*nt, and they're entitled to that opinion of me. I don't tend to overthink these things. If different people have different opinions of me from the same behaviour, do I really need to do any self-reflection? If absolutely everyone thought I was a tw*t then that's obviously something that I'm doing to cause such a reaction. But mixed opinions of me? That's just individual judgements. "

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"We all form some kind of opinion on everyone in here it's human nature.. I've met a fair few that have surprisingly been far nicer in person tbh ..

Then having said that being accused of something that is blatantly clearly not me really does rile me massively and I can't forgive that shite !!

Have a lovely afternoon all "

If it don't apply let it fly

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ittlebirdWoman  over a year ago

The Big Smoke


"We all form some kind of opinion on everyone in here it's human nature.. I've met a fair few that have surprisingly been far nicer in person tbh ..

Then having said that being accused of something that is blatantly clearly not me really does rile me massively and I can't forgive that shite !!

Have a lovely afternoon all "

Grumpy by name…

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *rumpyMcFuckNuggetMan  over a year ago

Den of Iniquity


"We all form some kind of opinion on everyone in here it's human nature.. I've met a fair few that have surprisingly been far nicer in person tbh ..

Then having said that being accused of something that is blatantly clearly not me really does rile me massively and I can't forgive that shite !!

Have a lovely afternoon all

Grumpy by name… "

Nah Happy as Larry me

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ris GrayMan  over a year ago

Dorchester


"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.

This ^ promoted some self analysis.

Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media

That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.

"

are you trying to say they are part of an obvious clique?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *MisschiefxTV/TS  over a year ago

London

I'm much more blunt on forums than I would be IRL. It can be interesting to see all the conversations that are going on and it can also be incredibly tedious seeing the same inane crap regurgitated all the time too.

The nice thing about forums is the distance and depersonalisation of it. If we were all in a room together I would be exhausted from masking after an hour. I'm not going to ever meet anyone from here so I don't have to care what anyone thinks of me, so the freedom from that is nice.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ersiantugMan  over a year ago

Cardiff

I think the big problem lies is the handheld mobile computers we all own (ie smartphones) more than with social media itself as such. People love theirs of course, but they are a human disaster imo! pt

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *stellaWoman  over a year ago

London

But, do you love me?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"But, do you love me? "

Love you long time

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eadintheclouds OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester


"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.

This ^ promoted some self analysis.

Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media

That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.

are you trying to say they are part of an obvious clique? "

That wasn't really what I was getting at. Even though it feels like there's an element of that here sometimes.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eadintheclouds OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester


"I'm much more blunt on forums than I would be IRL. It can be interesting to see all the conversations that are going on and it can also be incredibly tedious seeing the same inane crap regurgitated all the time too.

The nice thing about forums is the distance and depersonalisation of it. If we were all in a room together I would be exhausted from masking after an hour. I'm not going to ever meet anyone from here so I don't have to care what anyone thinks of me, so the freedom from that is nice. "

Like this take. Sympathetic towards the masking dealio also.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eadintheclouds OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester


"But, do you love me? "

Should I?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *bi HaiveMan  over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset


"I'm much more blunt on forums than I would be IRL. It can be interesting to see all the conversations that are going on and it can also be incredibly tedious seeing the same inane crap regurgitated all the time too.

The nice thing about forums is the distance and depersonalisation of it. If we were all in a room together I would be exhausted from masking after an hour. I'm not going to ever meet anyone from here so I don't have to care what anyone thinks of me, so the freedom from that is nice. "

So much this!

While some can throw up fake personas, hide their real selves and views behind a screen to ensure they maintain a visible image of sugar and spice and appeal to the masses or specific target groups, the distance offered enables others to be 100% themselves, open and honest, clear in their beliefs and views and represent themselves accurately - without the drama that would entail if they were as forthright, blunt and honest in a face to face environment.

Some find being so open difficult in real life situations for fear of causing upset, any verbal (or potentially even physical) retaliation, being seen as rude by those on the receiving end of truthful opinions and because generally people in face to face social situations hold back, are often more reserved and occasionally more bothered about putting up a good front than showing their true selves.

The internet is a great leveller. There's no volume control where someone can shout louder (TYPING IN CAPS MEANS FUCK ALL ), nobody can invade your personal space and get right in your face to attempt to intimidate you and no matter how heated discussions become they'll never become physical conflicts.

It's far easier for anyone to stand their ground and argue their case online than it is in person, especially for those who can sometimes lack confidence.

A

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eadintheclouds OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester


"I'm much more blunt on forums than I would be IRL. It can be interesting to see all the conversations that are going on and it can also be incredibly tedious seeing the same inane crap regurgitated all the time too.

The nice thing about forums is the distance and depersonalisation of it. If we were all in a room together I would be exhausted from masking after an hour. I'm not going to ever meet anyone from here so I don't have to care what anyone thinks of me, so the freedom from that is nice.

So much this!

While some can throw up fake personas, hide their real selves and views behind a screen to ensure they maintain a visible image of sugar and spice and appeal to the masses or specific target groups, the distance offered enables others to be 100% themselves, open and honest, clear in their beliefs and views and represent themselves accurately - without the drama that would entail if they were as forthright, blunt and honest in a face to face environment.

Some find being so open difficult in real life situations for fear of causing upset, any verbal (or potentially even physical) retaliation, being seen as rude by those on the receiving end of truthful opinions and because generally people in face to face social situations hold back, are often more reserved and occasionally more bothered about putting up a good front than showing their true selves.

The internet is a great leveller. There's no volume control where someone can shout louder (TYPING IN CAPS MEANS FUCK ALL ), nobody can invade your personal space and get right in your face to attempt to intimidate you and no matter how heated discussions become they'll never become physical conflicts.

It's far easier for anyone to stand their ground and argue their case online than it is in person, especially for those who can sometimes lack confidence.

A"

Very insightful. Wise words indeed

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *erence IIMan  over a year ago

Irrelevant


"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.

This ^ promoted some self analysis.

Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media

That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.

"

I don't think social media has made us more judgemental but I do think it has made it feel more acceptable to give voice to our opinions. We are all judgemental to one extent or another, very few people even attempt to be impartial and even fewer succeed. Social media has just given people bandwagons to jump on safe in the knowledge there are others that think the same. Fitting in has always been a significant driver in human behaviour and that's a lot easier to do online. You have the reassurance of relative anonymity if others don't support your views and a big enough audience to ensure some at least will do.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"You don't get much leeway outside of social media either unless you're forced to spend time with someone at work or something.

It is also true in the real world. Rampant individualism has a lot to do with that.

It's wild that we spend drastically more time with our work colleagues than with our friends and family. I saw something the other day that by the time you leave home you've already spent 90% of the days you'll spend with your parents before they're gone. "

Recent union-related jiggery-pokery at work has really underscored the rampant individualism for me. People can't think that it might benefit someone else marginally more than them, so will say no, or find fault where there is none. It's astonishing, actually.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect "

I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect

I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC "

It's because I'm old isn't it

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect

I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC

It's because I'm old isn't it "

Maybe......

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect

I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC

It's because I'm old isn't it

Maybe...... "

I have to say that I'm often surprised by how seriously people take others internet based assessment of them when they clearly know very little about them.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London


"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect

I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC

It's because I'm old isn't it

Maybe......

I have to say that I'm often surprised by how seriously people take others internet based assessment of them when they clearly know very little about them. "

At a social I was chatting to a long time forum user and getting along swimmingly, then she asked my Fab name.

When I told her she said oh, I always thought you were a bit of a c***, and laughed.

Just goes to show

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect

I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC

It's because I'm old isn't it

Maybe......

I have to say that I'm often surprised by how seriously people take others internet based assessment of them when they clearly know very little about them.

At a social I was chatting to a long time forum user and getting along swimmingly, then she asked my Fab name.

When I told her she said oh, I always thought you were a bit of a c***, and laughed.

Just goes to show "

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect

I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC

It's because I'm old isn't it

Maybe......

I have to say that I'm often surprised by how seriously people take others internet based assessment of them when they clearly know very little about them. "

Very true. NC, if we do ever descend to visit family on the south coast, we shall wave and see if you're free for one of your fancy coffee/cakes, because I reckon we'd get on well socially

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I understand where you’re coming from but not all is as it seems on here. We’ve met a few people from here at social events/clubs and they’ve not been anything like they are on here. We’ve met just as many who are exactly the same as they are on here. So really, you can’t judge people too much by what they say or do here on the forums

Mr

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex


"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect

I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC

It's because I'm old isn't it

Maybe......

I have to say that I'm often surprised by how seriously people take others internet based assessment of them when they clearly know very little about them.

Very true. NC, if we do ever descend to visit family on the south coast, we shall wave and see if you're free for one of your fancy coffee/cakes, because I reckon we'd get on well socially "

That would be lovely . Coffee and donuts on Hastings pier is an experience not to be missed but I'm not sure you'd call it fancy

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *heRazorsEdgeMan  over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK


"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”

Mike Tyson.

So true.

Some people scream 'free speech' when what they actually mean is 'I want to say all the shitty things I really think but no one is allowed to call me out on it'. Not the same thing, and most of the time they wouldn't dare say it to someone's face."

Absolutely this.

This type of person wants to say whatever shitty thing they want with no consequence

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *MisschiefxTV/TS  over a year ago

London


"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”

Mike Tyson.

So true.

Some people scream 'free speech' when what they actually mean is 'I want to say all the shitty things I really think but no one is allowed to call me out on it'. Not the same thing, and most of the time they wouldn't dare say it to someone's face.

Absolutely this.

This type of person wants to say whatever shitty thing they want with no consequence "

You are never going to be able to explain to them that freedom of speech is not freedom of consequence.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ris GrayMan  over a year ago

Dorchester

Forums really tell you nothing about the person, some people find it difficult to guage sarcasm, humour, the point you're trying to make, so you are unable to come across as you and will get judged upon it, just be aware of that in every comment you make. Online has an element of unaccountability so people say things they wouldn't normally

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *heRazorsEdgeMan  over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK


"Forums really tell you nothing about the person, some people find it difficult to guage sarcasm, humour, the point you're trying to make, so you are unable to come across as you and will get judged upon it, just be aware of that in every comment you make. Online has an element of unaccountability so people say things they wouldn't normally "

I’d disagree. I’ve seen some vile xenophobic and sexist comments in these forums… that told me a great deal about the people making them

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”

Mike Tyson.

So true.

Some people scream 'free speech' when what they actually mean is 'I want to say all the shitty things I really think but no one is allowed to call me out on it'. Not the same thing, and most of the time they wouldn't dare say it to someone's face.

Absolutely this.

This type of person wants to say whatever shitty thing they want with no consequence

You are never going to be able to explain to them that freedom of speech is not freedom of consequence. "

But I thought consequences were a way to suppress speech I like?

It's justice when it's speech I don't like.

Or something.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”

Mike Tyson.

So true.

Some people scream 'free speech' when what they actually mean is 'I want to say all the shitty things I really think but no one is allowed to call me out on it'. Not the same thing, and most of the time they wouldn't dare say it to someone's face.

Absolutely this.

This type of person wants to say whatever shitty thing they want with no consequence "

What would the consequence be?

For every 'keyboard warrior' there's a wannabe Mike Tyson. Both pathetic.

As for the whole 'wouldn't say it to their face' bollocks. Does that mean Tyson's entitled to say whatever he wants just because he could punch you out?

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

It does and it doesn't.

Sometimes, taking things at face value and not reading between the lines, something will be missed.

However, sometimes reading between the lines instead of taking it at face value, that can give the wrong picture.

It's not only how others put themselves across, it's how we each read into their words and actions, sometimes our view of another is simply a reflection upon ourselves.

I guess, the threads we choose to post upon are possibly more telling.

Maybe.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Just chill ….

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *MisschiefxTV/TS  over a year ago

London


"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”

Mike Tyson.

So true.

Some people scream 'free speech' when what they actually mean is 'I want to say all the shitty things I really think but no one is allowed to call me out on it'. Not the same thing, and most of the time they wouldn't dare say it to someone's face.

Absolutely this.

This type of person wants to say whatever shitty thing they want with no consequence

You are never going to be able to explain to them that freedom of speech is not freedom of consequence.

But I thought consequences were a way to suppress speech I like?

It's justice when it's speech I don't like.

Or something."

Actions have consequences, speech is an action.

Freedom of speech allows you to say what you want but it doesn't free you from the consequences of what you said.

For an over the top example.

You tell your partner you hate everything about them. Freedom of speech.

In response to your words they leave you. Consequence.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *naswingdressWoman  over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)


"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”

Mike Tyson.

So true.

Some people scream 'free speech' when what they actually mean is 'I want to say all the shitty things I really think but no one is allowed to call me out on it'. Not the same thing, and most of the time they wouldn't dare say it to someone's face.

Absolutely this.

This type of person wants to say whatever shitty thing they want with no consequence

You are never going to be able to explain to them that freedom of speech is not freedom of consequence.

But I thought consequences were a way to suppress speech I like?

It's justice when it's speech I don't like.

Or something.

Actions have consequences, speech is an action.

Freedom of speech allows you to say what you want but it doesn't free you from the consequences of what you said.

For an over the top example.

You tell your partner you hate everything about them. Freedom of speech.

In response to your words they leave you. Consequence.

"

I know. I'm being sarcastic, sorry.

There's some level of discourse where... people think that they can say what they want and any sort of reaction (including negative inference) is creeping tyranny.

Of course, that's not how anything works.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ris GrayMan  over a year ago

Dorchester


"Forums really tell you nothing about the person, some people find it difficult to guage sarcasm, humour, the point you're trying to make, so you are unable to come across as you and will get judged upon it, just be aware of that in every comment you make. Online has an element of unaccountability so people say things they wouldn't normally

I’d disagree. I’ve seen some vile xenophobic and sexist comments in these forums… that told me a great deal about the people making them "

yes maybe you have but in isolation

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *MisschiefxTV/TS  over a year ago

London


"“Social media made y’all way too comfortable disrespecting people and not getting pinched in the face for it.”

Mike Tyson.

So true.

Some people scream 'free speech' when what they actually mean is 'I want to say all the shitty things I really think but no one is allowed to call me out on it'. Not the same thing, and most of the time they wouldn't dare say it to someone's face.

Absolutely this.

This type of person wants to say whatever shitty thing they want with no consequence

You are never going to be able to explain to them that freedom of speech is not freedom of consequence.

But I thought consequences were a way to suppress speech I like?

It's justice when it's speech I don't like.

Or something.

Actions have consequences, speech is an action.

Freedom of speech allows you to say what you want but it doesn't free you from the consequences of what you said.

For an over the top example.

You tell your partner you hate everything about them. Freedom of speech.

In response to your words they leave you. Consequence.

I know. I'm being sarcastic, sorry.

There's some level of discourse where... people think that they can say what they want and any sort of reaction (including negative inference) is creeping tyranny.

Of course, that's not how anything works."

Oh, yeah that makes sense. I have shamed my ancestors in missing a sarcasm.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"It does and it doesn't.

Sometimes, taking things at face value and not reading between the lines, something will be missed.

However, sometimes reading between the lines instead of taking it at face value, that can give the wrong picture.

It's not only how others put themselves across, it's how we each read into their words and actions, sometimes our view of another is simply a reflection upon ourselves.

I guess, the threads we choose to post upon are possibly more telling.

Maybe."

Absolutely this, everything has to be brought back to first person and self...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eadintheclouds OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester


"I would also say that nothing on the forum has ever caused me to self analyse. I suspect I don't take the internet seriously enough in that respect

I'm not allowed to venture an opinion as to why, dear NC

It's because I'm old isn't it

Maybe......

I have to say that I'm often surprised by how seriously people take others internet based assessment of them when they clearly know very little about them.

At a social I was chatting to a long time forum user and getting along swimmingly, then she asked my Fab name.

When I told her she said oh, I always thought you were a bit of a c***, and laughed.

Just goes to show "

This says it all

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *rHotNottsMan  over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"Great post OP. I like your point on individualism being at the root of the issue. I try my best not to judge someone until I’ve got to know them in person. Easier said than done though, I’ll be the first to admit!"

I don’t struggle to withhold judgement. There is literally one person in life I don’t like and it’s been building a few years and supported by things close friends have said about them.

Other than that person I dint really judge anyone, certainly no one here has ever upset or offended me, a few have tried but failed

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *eedsmale36Man  over a year ago

Leeds


"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.

This ^ promoted some self analysis.

Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media

That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.

"

Don’t do social media ( fbook,insta etc) personally feel the world would be a better place without it, but hey what the hell do I know !

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *otsossieMan  over a year ago

local, but not too local

I’m happy to say I don’t really care what people think online.

Different platforms reflect different facets of your personality, and there’s always going to be a clash with someone - and odds are it will be mutual. You might get on fine in real life. You might not.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *host63Man  over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham


"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.

This ^ promoted some self analysis.

Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media

That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.

"

From when I was younger in the 70s I was always being judged without people knowing me. It us just nowadays with social media you are exposed to the behaviour even more. People's behaviour does not change that much.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross

I read approx the first ten of the posts....

When responding on here or any where else including 'real life' it is the comment made and never the person that I respond to.

I find that those of us who remain immature due to experiences or pure genetics tend to attack the person. They fight and defend. That is all they are capable of.

People like this lack the ability to think and see that what they have read or heard from another is simply thought.

It's a bit like not liking the news on the radio so you throw the radio at the wall to smash the whole thing.

Conversation over. No need to think and grow.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *aucasian GhandiMan  over a year ago

from my dad's left nut (Warwick)


"I read approx the first ten of the posts....

When responding on here or any where else including 'real life' it is the comment made and never the person that I respond to.

I find that those of us who remain immature due to experiences or pure genetics tend to attack the person. They fight and defend. That is all they are capable of.

People like this lack the ability to think and see that what they have read or heard from another is simply thought.

It's a bit like not liking the news on the radio so you throw the radio at the wall to smash the whole thing.

Conversation over. No need to think and grow."

Emotional intelligence plays a big part in it, and regulation of emotions. What people negate is the triggering effect of words. Then the ability to deal with what ever gets brought for them. Hence the reacting instead if responding.. and not giving themselves the gift of the pause...

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

all I’m saying is i’m different to how i am here ..

Opinions of others don’t matter to me … read what you like … have a nice day mwah

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I read approx the first ten of the posts....

When responding on here or any where else including 'real life' it is the comment made and never the person that I respond to.

I find that those of us who remain immature due to experiences or pure genetics tend to attack the person. They fight and defend. That is all they are capable of.

People like this lack the ability to think and see that what they have read or heard from another is simply thought.

It's a bit like not liking the news on the radio so you throw the radio at the wall to smash the whole thing.

Conversation over. No need to think and grow."

Didn’t read but I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN AGES

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *stbury DavenportMan  over a year ago

Nottingham

It's amazing how keen people are to tell on themselves. Block button gets quite a workout.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ranny-CrumpetWoman  over a year ago

The Town by The Cross


"I read approx the first ten of the posts....

When responding on here or any where else including 'real life' it is the comment made and never the person that I respond to.

I find that those of us who remain immature due to experiences or pure genetics tend to attack the person. They fight and defend. That is all they are capable of.

People like this lack the ability to think and see that what they have read or heard from another is simply thought.

It's a bit like not liking the news on the radio so you throw the radio at the wall to smash the whole thing.

Conversation over. No need to think and grow.

Didn’t read but I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN AGES"

Sorry 2long n not your dong !

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

 

By *ts the taking part thatMan  over a year ago

southampton


"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.

This ^ promoted some self analysis.

Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media

That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.

"

That lot says a lot about you.

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

  

By *eadintheclouds OP   Man  over a year ago

Manchester


"My thought just now...It's amazing how much you can read about a person from their ramblings on the forums.

This ^ promoted some self analysis.

Social media has made me (and I believe most of us) preconditioned to judge people from the smallest actions nowdays. You get absolutely no leeway to show your true self and the depth of your opinion before you're stereotyped and labelled as part of a group. We all pretend to understand each other in shorthand but we really don't. Humanity has lost the nuance in it's debate. Ta social media

That's my 2 cents for myself on this random Monday. Don't fall into the trap of that basic instinct to label others straight off the bat. Invite nuance and we're all better off for it.

That lot says a lot about you."

Right back at ya

Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote or View forums list

» Add a new message to this topic

0.2343

0