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Only child vs siblings

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

Do you wish you could change your childhood in that aspect? Did you get along with your brothers or sisters? Has that changed since you became adults? I always wished for a big brother. Someone to hang out with, do non girly things, someone to scare away annoying boys pulling my plaits, etc I had to play that role myself for me and my younger cousins and adored my older male cousins always wishing we could spend more time together. They would make me laugh, share interests, inspire, make observations I related to.

On the other hand, being only child had its perks. Maturing faster I think, being exposed to adult chats more often but also no arguments about petty things with siblings - peace and quiet time with a book or pets.

Have you enjoyed your place in family hierarchy ? have you created a family which replicates your own childhood experience or some other family model you wished for?

So many questions and I wouldn't expect answers to them all. Just go with the flow on only child vs siblings topic.

I don't reply to all the comments but will read them all with interest.

T

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple  over a year ago

Leeds

I’ve got an older brother, he bullied me until I was big enough to knock him out, then I bullied him. ( I held a grudge back then )

We both grew up when there is a “ family day “ it’s all fake smiles and bullshit small talk. I have no idea what his opinion is of me, mine of him is, I don’t like his wife and he’s a prick.

Always did wonder what life would have been if I did have a big sister though. My mate had one kept him on the straight and narrow, I like the concept.

The mr

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I was an only child for 10 years and never cared about having a sibling. When my sister came along I remember being miserable she cried all the time, I got less attention from my parents now there was two of us. Having such a big age gap I was never really bothered about bonding with her , I was too busy going out with friends. If I try to think back to when she was growing up, there’s not much I can actually remember.

Now she’s my best friend, we do everything together, I talk to her everyday and she’s really the only person that can make me laugh so much my stomach hurts. I couldn’t imagine life without her being here

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By *2000ManMan  over a year ago

Worthing

Got two younger brothers. Only a few years age difference. We are best mates.

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By *mf123Man  over a year ago

with one foot out the door

Naa id have been bored as an only kid

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

I'm the oldest child and the only girl, I have a shed load of brothers and uncles who are barely older than I am. I'm also the oldest grandchild.

My youngest brother and I barely knew each other because I left home when he was very young (people used to think I was his mum) but now we get along extremely well. All my siblings still defer to me and since the older generation of women in my fairly matriarchal family have died my wider family seem to think I'm in charge of family stuff now.

I'm pretty certain that nobody who knows me will be surprised about any of this

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By *icecouple561Couple  over a year ago
Forum Mod

East Sussex

And no, I haven't replicated this model

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Oh and to add to my first comment, there seems to be a strange pattern in our family. Me, my mum, my gran and her mother all had 2 kids all girls

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By *addad99Man  over a year ago

Rotherham /newquay

Me and my older sister used to fight like cats and dogs to the point I stab her when I was ten now we don't go a few days without seeing or calling each other my kids are same never spoke to each other now grown up with kids there always chatting eldest son and daughter middle one still doesn't talk to eldest.

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By *oeBeansMan  over a year ago

Derby

I'm the youngest of 4 with a brother (the oldest) and 2 older sisters and always felt a generation behind as there were 4 years between those 3 and 5 and a half between my youngest sister and I who I get on with the most. Naturally, they've always thought I was spoiled being the youngest but that's just because my parents had more money when I was born so probably bought me more stuff as a result but it did also mean I was more sheltered and wasn't allowed to grow up and mature the way I wanted to.

I enjoyed having my youngest sister as she helped me with me more with my sensitive side and we still get on great. I'm not so much a fan of the older 2 as I think we just clash with our personalities and I don't know where that stems from.

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By *emorefridaCouple  over a year ago

La la land

Easily summed up for me, we may fight like cat and dogs, but it's a brave person to take one of us one, because you get a bogof deal

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By *issmorganWoman  over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Sadly my only sibling (sister) died almost 13 years ago .

We were so close when young & in our twenties,even when she moved quite a way to be with her partner.

Its hard at times sill.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I have an older brother. We got on for a bit when we were young but when teens hit we didn't. He would boss me about, then bring his god awful girlfriend to the house ... she then became his awful first wife ... he then moved overseas has an awful 2nd wife and kids.

Thankfully we have next to no contact other than the obligatory birthday email ... even then he forgets mine and gets the day wrong often. Haven't actually spoke to him for about 6 years when I called him a twat for not visiting my father who'd had cancer surgery ... my brothers flight would have been 4hrs mine was 20+hrs .... he couldn't spare the time apparently.... I was done with him at that point.

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By *ORBCouple  over a year ago

Dundalk

I (Bo) have siblings. We had a very tough childhood with parents who were very abusive. We weren't close growing up but now as we've gotten older we have become a lot closer.

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By *ad NannaWoman  over a year ago

East London

I had a great childhood with my siblings.

We have a good relationship still and see each other at family dos.

I see my younger brother and sister the most as my sister is my drinking and days out buddy and my brother's wife often joins us for lunch or a trip to a garden centre.

My brother hosts a few times a year too.

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By *hilloutMan  over a year ago

All over the place! Northwesr, , Southwest

My brother is 2.5 years younger. We constantly fought until I was 10 and he was 8, after which we mellowed and have been best friends since.l

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By *ou only live onceMan  over a year ago

London

I love my sisters, and we all got on well growing up, as we do now. We're a close family.

I sometimes wish I'd had a brother too, as I think that's a different relationship and I assume we'd have had sport etc in common (big assumptions, I know...I'm assuming a brother in my own image!), but I've also seen brothers be unhealthily competitive with each other and I wouldn't have liked that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Easily summed up for me, we may fight like cat and dogs, but it's a brave person to take one of us one, because you get a bogof deal "

Haha.. I imagined it just like that. Hence I had more than one. It is !

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By *etterdays2021Man  over a year ago

PETERBOROUGH

Well i grow up with and older brother 1 year older and a younger 6 years younger..but i have more thank 60 cousin's..big family i know.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I (Bo) have siblings. We had a very tough childhood with parents who were very abusive. We weren't close growing up but now as we've gotten older we have become a lot closer."

That is quite empowering overcoming abuse together and not letting that affect your adult relations.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"Sadly my only sibling (sister) died almost 13 years ago .

We were so close when young & in our twenties,even when she moved quite a way to be with her partner.

Its hard at times sill."

I am sorry for your loss. Some people we shall miss until the day we are gone ourselves.

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By *aggonerMan  over a year ago

for a penny

I was separated from my siblings at age 11 and spent a miserable childhood. So I have learned to be emotionally self-sufficient, which has stood me in good stead for the last 20 years.

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By *issmorganWoman  over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"Sadly my only sibling (sister) died almost 13 years ago .

We were so close when young & in our twenties,even when she moved quite a way to be with her partner.

Its hard at times sill.

I am sorry for your loss. Some people we shall miss until the day we are gone ourselves. "

Thank you & thats so true x

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I have an older brother. We got on for a bit when we were young but when teens hit we didn't. He would boss me about, then bring his god awful girlfriend to the house ... she then became his awful first wife ... he then moved overseas has an awful 2nd wife and kids.

Thankfully we have next to no contact other than the obligatory birthday email ... even then he forgets mine and gets the day wrong often. Haven't actually spoke to him for about 6 years when I called him a twat for not visiting my father who'd had cancer surgery ... my brothers flight would have been 4hrs mine was 20+hrs .... he couldn't spare the time apparently.... I was done with him at that point. "

It's in a way fascinating that you grew apart being close as kids. Maybe you just grew into very different people with different values? Got influenced by people you chose to surround yourself with? On that note.. I'm sorry he had such a bad taste in female companionship it would be nice to have a friend sister in law wouldn't it. Hope that maybe older days bring you together again.

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By *d4fun73Man  over a year ago

Shipley

I'm a only child, was a bit lonely at times. but you learn to make friends. Although I wish I'd had a younger sister though. Oh well

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I'm a only child, was a bit lonely at times. but you learn to make friends. Although I wish I'd had a younger sister though. Oh well "

Adopt me. I wanted older brother and I am younger than you

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By *d4fun73Man  over a year ago

Shipley


"I'm a only child, was a bit lonely at times. but you learn to make friends. Although I wish I'd had a younger sister though. Oh well

Adopt me. I wanted older brother and I am younger than you "

Ok! But I've used all my clothes pegs lol

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By *oeBeansMan  over a year ago

Derby


"I love my sisters, and we all got on well growing up, as we do now. We're a close family.

I sometimes wish I'd had a brother too, as I think that's a different relationship and I assume we'd have had sport etc in common (big assumptions, I know...I'm assuming a brother in my own image!), but I've also seen brothers be unhealthily competitive with each other and I wouldn't have liked that. "

I have an older brother and there are benefits to it as he was always someone I could play football or cricket with and he was role model to me when I was younger. The problem came when I started doing better in my career and earning more money and suddenly he'd been very short when talking to me. I'm not fussed but it's an example of what happens when the oldest doesn't feel the most superior.

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By *lynJMan  over a year ago

Morden

I have an older brother and 2 younger sisters. I haven't spoken to any of them for years. Don't miss them to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was an only child for 10 years and never cared about having a sibling. When my sister came along I remember being miserable she cried all the time, I got less attention from my parents now there was two of us. Having such a big age gap I was never really bothered about bonding with her , I was too busy going out with friends. If I try to think back to when she was growing up, there’s not much I can actually remember…."

I was an only child for 10 years too, then my dad remarried and had a kid, then a year later me mum did the same and had 2. Suddenly forgotten about by both parents whose new offspring became what felt like, being more important than I. Though I’ve tried, I don’t get on with any of them. My dads other son is a complete chav now, still livening at home with his own son and jobless, back as a kid his mum babied him and he was a bully towards me (baring in mind I was 10 years older) if I tried to stop him doing stuff I’d get the blame (even when he was physically hitting me with metal objects or jumping on my head when I was asleep!).

My mothers son and daughter are nice enough but we didn’t grow up together and they might as well be strangers for how little I know about them, though not like I’ve tried getting to know them better, they just have separate lives.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I have an older brother and 2 younger sisters. I haven't spoken to any of them for years. Don't miss them to be honest."

Sometimes friends become our replacement family. I hope that the case for you.

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By *cunnylassCouple  over a year ago

Exeter


"I have an older brother and 2 younger sisters. I haven't spoken to any of them for years. Don't miss them to be honest."

Pretty much the same for me.I have a younger brother and sister and we don't have any contact at all.Long may it continue!

Mike

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By *929Man  over a year ago

newcastle

I have 2 sister but they are a fair bit older and other than brief stints when I was a bit older they never lived at home. As a kid I always envied my mates that had brothers as being only child could be quite boring I’d see how busy and fun it looked at their house when I’d go round and thought it looked great. Now as I’m older I’m glad there was just me

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West

I have a younger brother only, 2.5yrs difference. We got on reasonably well as kids but I got blamed for everything. He couldn't (and still can't) do anything wrong in the eyes of our mother but she manipulates him something rotten. I've seen the light and don't have anything to do with Mum now. Dad is elderly with advancing dementia so a very different relationship.

My brother and I get on pretty well but I do get cross when he makes continual poor financial decisions and then expects me to bail him out. I'm considered to be the person who keeps everything and everyone together and so when I've needed support, it's not always been forthcoming.

I don't want any other siblings and honestly, if I'd been an only child, I don't think it would have been a massive issue (not that I don't love my brother).

We're a tiny family and not many people in the family in our age bracket so not got any frame of reference really. I'd probably have fought with a sister to be honest!

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By *inkyInkedBiWoman  over a year ago

.

I have one older brother. Yeah we used to fight when we were younger but I think most do.

We grew up close along with cousins so we’re all still super close still now, and I love that

We empathise with each other due to devastating heartbreak, I’ll always be there for him, and him for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I have a younger brother only, 2.5yrs difference. We got on reasonably well as kids but I got blamed for everything. He couldn't (and still can't) do anything wrong in the eyes of our mother but she manipulates him something rotten. I've seen the light and don't have anything to do with Mum now. Dad is elderly with advancing dementia so a very different relationship.

My brother and I get on pretty well but I do get cross when he makes continual poor financial decisions and then expects me to bail him out. I'm considered to be the person who keeps everything and everyone together and so when I've needed support, it's not always been forthcoming.

I don't want any other siblings and honestly, if I'd been an only child, I don't think it would have been a massive issue (not that I don't love my brother).

We're a tiny family and not many people in the family in our age bracket so not got any frame of reference really. I'd probably have fought with a sister to be honest!"

I chuckled at the last sentence.;)

I fought a lot with my younger female cousin but got along with male ones. She was so whiney, stiff and serious. Little ice queen. Complete opposite of me at that time. So really clash of characters. In ideal world we would always keep siblings close I guess and I wish my offsprings will follow that. So far so good, they stand up for each other united when the outsider "attacks" and I hope it lasts. Like In Frieda's case. it's mighty good of you to come to your brothers rescue. "I'm angry at your behaviour but I still love you no matter what".

Ps. Got some good news. I have to message you.

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By *lynJMan  over a year ago

Morden


"I have an older brother and 2 younger sisters. I haven't spoken to any of them for years. Don't miss them to be honest.

Sometimes friends become our replacement family. I hope that the case for you. "

Thanks.

Yes, I have some good friends in the real world. My best mate made sure I was OK last year when my partner died.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

If I speak, big trouble.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman  over a year ago

little house on the praire

I used to fight like cat and dog with my sister. I stuck a knitting needle so far in her leg she had to go to A&E to have it removed.

Once we left home we got on although she's very bossy and treated me as though I was a lot younger than her

When my dad died she saw me in a new light as I single handedly sorted out his funeral and affairs ,(she lives abroad) We very rarely fall out and speak most days on whatsapp.

My son was an only child but had a best friend since he was 4 who would come on holiday with us and for days out. They where joined at the hip plus other friends where always round our house so don't think he missed out

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was an only child for 10 years and never cared about having a sibling. When my sister came along I remember being miserable she cried all the time, I got less attention from my parents now there was two of us. Having such a big age gap I was never really bothered about bonding with her , I was too busy going out with friends. If I try to think back to when she was growing up, there’s not much I can actually remember….

I was an only child for 10 years too, then my dad remarried and had a kid, then a year later me mum did the same and had 2. Suddenly forgotten about by both parents whose new offspring became what felt like, being more important than I. Though I’ve tried, I don’t get on with any of them. My dads other son is a complete chav now, still livening at home with his own son and jobless, back as a kid his mum babied him and he was a bully towards me (baring in mind I was 10 years older) if I tried to stop him doing stuff I’d get the blame (even when he was physically hitting me with metal objects or jumping on my head when I was asleep!).

My mothers son and daughter are nice enough but we didn’t grow up together and they might as well be strangers for how little I know about them, though not like I’ve tried getting to know them better, they just have separate lives. "

That’s horrible. Sorry you had to go through that

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I've got five brothers. Well, four now. I didn't get along with a few of them growing up as they were bullies and disinterested probably due to the age gap.

I did get on very well with my youngest brother, and my brother who was a year older than me. And as we grew up, I only remained close to one and we spoke and saw each other pretty much every single day but he died last year. I don't really speak to any of the others now.

When you have a sibling you get on with it's so beautiful, so many memories, knowing you always have someone to chat to, who gets you and loves you and has shared so much of your life together. But I could have easily lived without the others growing up, because back then they weren't important to me and even now, I feel like an only child and our relationship dud to lack of communication and contact. I only stay in touch for my nieces and nephews.

I only have one child but I'd love to have another couple of kids. It's just not the right time at the moment. And I do feel bad that I might not ever get around to it due to mental health and financial issues. I think everyone deserves a sibling. But again, it is only worth it if you get on. And who knows what will happen.

Sorry, rambled a bit there.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I am the middle of the 5,two older sisters and two younger brothers.

Growing up spent a lot of time alone as always felt the younger brothers got on better though there was bigger age gap.

Still talk to all of them to various degrees, some better than others.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 22/05/23 20:20:00]

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I am an only child and I haven’t given it much thought. I presume that means I was perfectly happy with it. I had friends around me most of the time. I think one brat was all my parents could handle.

M

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By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8

I hated my childhood. When people ask those questions of “What age would you go back to, if you could?” I never think earlier than about 20.

I was never very close with or liked my family. What a statement, huh! They weren’t abusive, neglectful or weird. Entirely normal, I just didn’t like them.

I particularly hated my brother who was a dick at best and a complete c**t at worst. He still is and so we never speak. He now lives in Canada which is actually a blessing. It means I don’t have to make a false effort for family get-togethers.

Until this year I have always sent him birthday and Christmas cards. I used to go to the bureau de change and change some money into Canadian for him. He would just send me Canadian dollars.

He has never sent me a birthday or Christmas card in time for the day itself. During covid he said he was unable to send me a card because of being locked down, despite working in IT (so obviously being very techie), and having an English bank account and Amazon account.

Last year he didn’t send me a card at all.

So fuck him. I can’t stand him anyway and I’ve had enough of doing the right thing.

I don’t know whether being an only child would have been better. In all probability, I think it would have been. Might have made me less shy, too.

I guess it’s a lottery as to whether you get a sibling and, if you do, whether you get on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago

I really want to reply individually seeing how emotive it became. Currently waiting for a call to schedule an urgent out of hours appointment for family member and just not in the right mind to offer holding the space you all deserve.

T

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By *evil-AngelWoman  over a year ago

...

I'm the oldest of 3 girls, very close in age to the middle but a bigger age gap with the youngest.

When I was having a family, my plan was to have 2 close in age because of the relationship my middle sister and I have. It didn't matter what situation we were in, having each other meant we never without a friend.

Looking back I feel very sorry for my younger sister as she was always trying to tag along but because of the age gap often got left out. I don't think it did her any harm as she is now the most independent of the three of us.

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By *elix SightedMan  over a year ago

Cloud 8


"I really want to reply individually seeing how emotive it became. Currently waiting for a call to schedule an urgent out of hours appointment for family member and just not in the right mind to offer holding the space you all deserve.

T"

Don’t worry, Mrs! We know you’re reading and appreciating them all. What you’re doing is way more important so concentrate on that x

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By *rAitchMan  over a year ago

Diagonally Parked in a Parallel Universe

I have one brother, who is just over 2 years yoinger than I am. We always got on well as kids, then we fell out in our late teens and didn't speak for about 15 years. We don't even know why we fell out.

Now, we get on very well again, and we are also band mates, too. I saw him after work as we had a rehearsal for a gig this weekend.

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By *uriousscouserWoman  over a year ago

Wirral

I have an older brother but we have never been close as he doesn't really understand human interaction!

Growing up we were indifferent strangers who happened to live in the same house.

Thankfully I have a LOT of cousins and we were pretty much raised as a pack. We also fostered so I had lots of foster-siblings. My childhood was noisy and boisterous and I was forever getting into scrapes, but I loved having so many playmates so readily available. I could always rustle up enough people for a huge game of rounders or British bulldog.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I have an older brother and 2 younger sisters. I haven't spoken to any of them for years. Don't miss them to be honest.

Sometimes friends become our replacement family. I hope that the case for you. "

Very much the case for me

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"I have a younger brother only, 2.5yrs difference. We got on reasonably well as kids but I got blamed for everything. He couldn't (and still can't) do anything wrong in the eyes of our mother but she manipulates him something rotten. I've seen the light and don't have anything to do with Mum now. Dad is elderly with advancing dementia so a very different relationship.

My brother and I get on pretty well but I do get cross when he makes continual poor financial decisions and then expects me to bail him out. I'm considered to be the person who keeps everything and everyone together and so when I've needed support, it's not always been forthcoming.

I don't want any other siblings and honestly, if I'd been an only child, I don't think it would have been a massive issue (not that I don't love my brother).

We're a tiny family and not many people in the family in our age bracket so not got any frame of reference really. I'd probably have fought with a sister to be honest!

I chuckled at the last sentence.;)

I fought a lot with my younger female cousin but got along with male ones. She was so whiney, stiff and serious. Little ice queen. Complete opposite of me at that time. So really clash of characters. In ideal world we would always keep siblings close I guess and I wish my offsprings will follow that. So far so good, they stand up for each other united when the outsider "attacks" and I hope it lasts. Like In Frieda's case. it's mighty good of you to come to your brothers rescue. "I'm angry at your behaviour but I still love you no matter what".

Ps. Got some good news. I have to message you. "

I replied

I only have 3 cousins, which is a lot less than most and 2 are blokes. They're sufficiently younger and live faaaaaaaaar away so as to be mainly strangers. The youngest is the same age as my son, for context. So it was me and my bro and no other family members of the same age or generation within 250 miles. I was very much a mini adult from being a small child and quite self sufficient.

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By *inky_couple2020Couple  over a year ago

North West


"I have an older brother and 2 younger sisters. I haven't spoken to any of them for years. Don't miss them to be honest.

Sometimes friends become our replacement family. I hope that the case for you.

Very much the case for me"

My husband became my main family connection. I rarely spend time with anyone else, other than our kids and our work colleagues.

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By *a LunaWoman  over a year ago

South Wales

Only child here. I sometimes wished I had an older brother (they seemed less aggressive than sisters going on what I witnessed with my friends) but other than that I don’t feel I missed out to be honest.

I had slightly older cousins who were sort of like sisters that you could hand back when you’d had enough, but we all grew apart when they’d left home and moved away.

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By *ou only live onceMan  over a year ago

London


"I love my sisters, and we all got on well growing up, as we do now. We're a close family.

I sometimes wish I'd had a brother too, as I think that's a different relationship and I assume we'd have had sport etc in common (big assumptions, I know...I'm assuming a brother in my own image!), but I've also seen brothers be unhealthily competitive with each other and I wouldn't have liked that.

I have an older brother and there are benefits to it as he was always someone I could play football or cricket with and he was role model to me when I was younger. The problem came when I started doing better in my career and earning more money and suddenly he'd been very short when talking to me. I'm not fussed but it's an example of what happens when the oldest doesn't feel the most superior."

Yeah, I can imagine that. I've got some really good friends who, despite everything being fine on the surface, are really passive aggressive with each other and seem to spend their lives in a constant game of one-upmanship. Must be knackering.

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By *idlandiaMan  over a year ago

Birmingham

Have 2 older sisters, who when we were growing up, ganged up on me and actively threw me under the bus if it meant redirecting the unnecessary over angryness of my classically spoilt only child dad.

One I bearly talk to, I think last time was 2 years ago ish. The other I get on slightly better with after she apologised for the many times they lied to my parents getting me in trouble for their actions.

All that said, I'm still happy I wasn't an only child as I see parts of my father's personality in me and at least my less than close relationship with my sisters stopped me potentially becoming the spoilt angry turd of a human my dad is.

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By *lexV16Man  over a year ago

Welling

I am a middle child, have elder and younger brothers with small age gap. Fight my existence with older brother through my childhood up till left for university. No much fight or issues with younger but he was always was a spoiled favourite youngest that made me a bit jealous.

We end up all three in different countries to our parents and each other. No regrets and think being a middle is a privilege that gives a great experience and life skills.

As of today I am in touch with younger bro and we see each other from time to time despite distance and borders but we both rarely speak or see our elder brother. We are on good terms just not too much interest in his life

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago


"I was an only child for 10 years and never cared about having a sibling. When my sister came along I remember being miserable she cried all the time, I got less attention from my parents now there was two of us. Having such a big age gap I was never really bothered about bonding with her , I was too busy going out with friends. If I try to think back to when she was growing up, there’s not much I can actually remember….

I was an only child for 10 years too, then my dad remarried and had a kid, then a year later me mum did the same and had 2. Suddenly forgotten about by both parents whose new offspring became what felt like, being more important than I. Though I’ve tried, I don’t get on with any of them. My dads other son is a complete chav now, still livening at home with his own son and jobless, back as a kid his mum babied him and he was a bully towards me (baring in mind I was 10 years older) if I tried to stop him doing stuff I’d get the blame (even when he was physically hitting me with metal objects or jumping on my head when I was asleep!).

My mothers son and daughter are nice enough but we didn’t grow up together and they might as well be strangers for how little I know about them, though not like I’ve tried getting to know them better, they just have separate lives.

That’s horrible. Sorry you had to go through that "

Don’t get me wrong, I love my family, but my childhood years were not very happy- my stepmum has apologised since, many times for the way we were treated so differently now, but yeah, age 10-18 were the worst years of my life I’d say.

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By *ablo minibar123Woman  over a year ago

.

My sister made my childhood miserable. She's still trying to make my life miserable now, which is good going since we hardly talk. I've only just seen my brother for the first time In 30 years. When I think of them I have no feelings, they just leave me numb, and have never benefitted my life in any way.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I’m technically an only child and my life was great for it.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

I got an older sister. There's 4 years gap between us. Ever since I was born, she hated me. She hated she isn't getting only attention anymore. It's hard to explain. We really loved each other deep down but at the same time, we fought like the dogs every day for the first 19 years of my life. We haven't had particularly easy childhood but I always knew she will get my back If I need her but to be truly honest, I was there always for her more than she ever was for me. When I emigrated to the UK, we softened and became best friends. I guess distance and true love for each other changed how we felt about each other. We also matured and when I became a young mum, she was very supportive of me and she quickly became the best auntie in the world. Now she is a mum herself and we just get on so well. Though sadly her new partner is quite controlling and trying to ruin what we have.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I got an older sister. There's 4 years gap between us. Ever since I was born, she hated me. She hated she isn't getting only attention anymore. It's hard to explain. We really loved each other deep down but at the same time, we fought like the dogs every day for the first 19 years of my life. We haven't had particularly easy childhood but I always knew she will get my back If I need her but to be truly honest, I was there always for her more than she ever was for me. When I emigrated to the UK, we softened and became best friends. I guess distance and true love for each other changed how we felt about each other. We also matured and when I became a young mum, she was very supportive of me and she quickly became the best auntie in the world. Now she is a mum herself and we just get on so well. Though sadly her new partner is quite controlling and trying to ruin what we have. "

At least she has you for support and that's crucial in those situations when someone is trying to possibly isolate her and worse. Stick around and keep safe. X

T

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"My sister made my childhood miserable. She's still trying to make my life miserable now, which is good going since we hardly talk. I've only just seen my brother for the first time In 30 years. When I think of them I have no feelings, they just leave me numb, and have never benefitted my life in any way."

Did the numbness come after seeing him? I've been there once and it's such a peculiar feeling. You'd think all emotions cumulated inside you for years would want to explode.. but no.. if there was no bond thats where sort of indifference steps in. Wishing you lots of strength.

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I have an older brother but we have never been close as he doesn't really understand human interaction!

Growing up we were indifferent strangers who happened to live in the same house.

Thankfully I have a LOT of cousins and we were pretty much raised as a pack. We also fostered so I had lots of foster-siblings. My childhood was noisy and boisterous and I was forever getting into scrapes, but I loved having so many playmates so readily available. I could always rustle up enough people for a huge game of rounders or British bulldog."

I am sorry about your brother. It sounds tough.

But what a wonderful childhood otherwise. I feel blessed with my cousins too. And kudos to your family for welcoming other children too..

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I was an only child for 10 years and never cared about having a sibling. When my sister came along I remember being miserable she cried all the time, I got less attention from my parents now there was two of us. Having such a big age gap I was never really bothered about bonding with her , I was too busy going out with friends. If I try to think back to when she was growing up, there’s not much I can actually remember….

I was an only child for 10 years too, then my dad remarried and had a kid, then a year later me mum did the same and had 2. Suddenly forgotten about by both parents whose new offspring became what felt like, being more important than I. Though I’ve tried, I don’t get on with any of them. My dads other son is a complete chav now, still livening at home with his own son and jobless, back as a kid his mum babied him and he was a bully towards me (baring in mind I was 10 years older) if I tried to stop him doing stuff I’d get the blame (even when he was physically hitting me with metal objects or jumping on my head when I was asleep!).

My mothers son and daughter are nice enough but we didn’t grow up together and they might as well be strangers for how little I know about them, though not like I’ve tried getting to know them better, they just have separate lives. "

That's quite heart breaking. I hope you had others like grandparents or other extended family to fill in the wounds they left.

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By (user no longer on site)  over a year ago

Me and my sister hated eachother until we both had our kids - I was 20 she was 22. Then we just became best friends. We are so close now! Me and my brother aren't very close but we are very similar.. he's 6 years older so he left home by the time I was in my teens. I see him about twice a year now but fine with that. Would have hated to be an only child.x

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By *d4fun73Man  over a year ago

Shipley


"Me and my sister hated eachother until we both had our kids - I was 20 she was 22. Then we just became best friends. We are so close now! Me and my brother aren't very close but we are very similar.. he's 6 years older so he left home by the time I was in my teens. I see him about twice a year now but fine with that. Would have hated to be an only child.x"

I didn't get a choice!

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I have one brother, who is just over 2 years yoinger than I am. We always got on well as kids, then we fell out in our late teens and didn't speak for about 15 years. We don't even know why we fell out.

Now, we get on very well again, and we are also band mates, too. I saw him after work as we had a rehearsal for a gig this weekend."

Aww good luck with your gig. Always nice to hear people can and do make up. I would find it difficult to trust someone again. How did you reconnect if you don't mind me asking?

T

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By (user no longer on site) OP     over a year ago


"I have an older brother and 2 younger sisters. I haven't spoken to any of them for years. Don't miss them to be honest.

Sometimes friends become our replacement family. I hope that the case for you.

Very much the case for me"

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