FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Where in the South west are there social only events
Where in the South west are there social only events
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So we met a couple last night, awesome night. However they said that they had seen a ‘social only’ event that people organised, in the south west. However we couldn’t find it last night.
When/where do these things happen?
Who arranges them?
Are they completely laid back to mix and socialise with like minded couples without the expectation of sex?
If you know of any please let us know  |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"We'd love to attend.
If only it wasn't exclusive to couples and single women and literally 'exclusive' to single men.
It's a social. Why exclude one particular group. 
A"
That's why I've never asked to go. I like single men  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"We'd love to attend.
If only it wasn't exclusive to couples and single women and literally 'exclusive' to single men.
It's a social. Why exclude one particular group.
A
That's why I've never asked to go. I like single men "
Us too.
The top piece of advice given to guys is generally to attend clubs and organised socials.
They're not excluded in Birmingham. Or Manchester. Or Northampton. Or as far as I know anywhere else.
Just Bristol.
How very inclusive........ 
A |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"We'd love to attend.
If only it wasn't exclusive to couples and single women and literally 'exclusive' to single men.
It's a social. Why exclude one particular group.
A
That's why I've never asked to go. I like single men
Us too.
The top piece of advice given to guys is generally to attend clubs and organised socials.
They're not excluded in Birmingham. Or Manchester. Or Northampton. Or as far as I know anywhere else.
Just Bristol.
How very inclusive........
A"
I have seen one or two others where they are... can't recall where off the top of my head. But most organisers seem to just cap the numbers rather than excluding.
We should organise a social! |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"We'd love to attend.
If only it wasn't exclusive to couples and single women and literally 'exclusive' to single men.
It's a social. Why exclude one particular group.
A
That's why I've never asked to go. I like single men
Us too.
The top piece of advice given to guys is generally to attend clubs and organised socials.
They're not excluded in Birmingham. Or Manchester. Or Northampton. Or as far as I know anywhere else.
Just Bristol.
How very inclusive........
A
I have seen one or two others where they are... can't recall where off the top of my head. But most organisers seem to just cap the numbers rather than excluding.
We should organise a social!"
That sounds like a plan and it's been a while since we did that. About 10 years in fact and that was a mega forum bash in Birmingham. 
Was much easier though as due to it being held in a swingers club we didn't have to worry about finding a safe vanilla environment.
Pity all the clubs in/around Bristol have shut. 
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We'd love to attend.
If only it wasn't exclusive to couples and single women and literally 'exclusive' to single men.
It's a social. Why exclude one particular group.
A
That's why I've never asked to go. I like single men
Us too.
The top piece of advice given to guys is generally to attend clubs and organised socials.
They're not excluded in Birmingham. Or Manchester. Or Northampton. Or as far as I know anywhere else.
Just Bristol.
How very inclusive........
A"
Because single men aren't swingers but single women are and, if course, all men have no control in a social situation. Really needs a facepalm emoji here |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"We'd love to attend.
If only it wasn't exclusive to couples and single women and literally 'exclusive' to single men.
It's a social. Why exclude one particular group.
A
That's why I've never asked to go. I like single men
Us too.
The top piece of advice given to guys is generally to attend clubs and organised socials.
They're not excluded in Birmingham. Or Manchester. Or Northampton. Or as far as I know anywhere else.
Just Bristol.
How very inclusive........
A
Because single men aren't swingers but single women are and, if course, all men have no control in a social situation. Really needs a facepalm emoji here "
how can a single woman be a swinger and not a single man?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We'd love to attend.
If only it wasn't exclusive to couples and single women and literally 'exclusive' to single men.
It's a social. Why exclude one particular group.
A
That's why I've never asked to go. I like single men
Us too.
The top piece of advice given to guys is generally to attend clubs and organised socials.
They're not excluded in Birmingham. Or Manchester. Or Northampton. Or as far as I know anywhere else.
Just Bristol.
How very inclusive........
A
Because single men aren't swingers but single women are and, if course, all men have no control in a social situation. Really needs a facepalm emoji here how can a single woman be a swinger and not a single man? "
I think there may have been a slight edge of sarcasm? |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"We'd love to attend.
If only it wasn't exclusive to couples and single women and literally 'exclusive' to single men.
It's a social. Why exclude one particular group.
A
That's why I've never asked to go. I like single men
Us too.
The top piece of advice given to guys is generally to attend clubs and organised socials.
They're not excluded in Birmingham. Or Manchester. Or Northampton. Or as far as I know anywhere else.
Just Bristol.
How very inclusive........
A
Because single men aren't swingers but single women are and, if course, all men have no control in a social situation. Really needs a facepalm emoji here how can a single woman be a swinger and not a single man?
I think there may have been a slight edge of sarcasm?"
Exactly. 
I mean.....how are lowly men meant to become fully fledged swingers if they're not able to meet single women at organised socials, hook up, become an item and join the ranks of true, genuine swingers as couples?
A
*we really need a facepalm emoji sometimes. |
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"We'd love to attend.
If only it wasn't exclusive to couples and single women and literally 'exclusive' to single men.
It's a social. Why exclude one particular group.
A
That's why I've never asked to go. I like single men
Us too.
The top piece of advice given to guys is generally to attend clubs and organised socials.
They're not excluded in Birmingham. Or Manchester. Or Northampton. Or as far as I know anywhere else.
Just Bristol.
How very inclusive........
A
Because single men aren't swingers but single women are and, if course, all men have no control in a social situation. Really needs a facepalm emoji here how can a single woman be a swinger and not a single man?
I think there may have been a slight edge of sarcasm?
Exactly.
I mean.....how are lowly men meant to become fully fledged swingers if they're not able to meet single women at organised socials, hook up, become an item and join the ranks of true, genuine swingers as couples?
A
*we really need a facepalm emoji sometimes. "
I think there needs to be a whole load of new emojis, about time admin got with the times and invested in some new ones.
Agree with all the points raised though.
So who’s going to organise the big social then, we wouldn’t have a clue where to start haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We've organised a few socials and it's incrediblely time consuming and hard work we might add.
Can shed a bit of light on the whole single male thing though
It's a bit of a two fold problem
1 the amount of single men on fab and all wanting to attend far far outweighs the amount of couples and ladies. You would be looking at 400 messages a day and the one's who don't get to go want to be abusive, make life difficult and spoil or prevent the event happening. happened to a social in Plymouth once where meet location was made public years ago and to us post our last event and part of the reason why we took a break from organising socials.
2 by making it open to single men you put off 75% of the couples - was definitely the most common question we where asked in the past.
Seen quite a few socials try to be organised that had single men that don't get off the ground but there's a few going through we've heard just like getting into a club it's going to be difficult because the numbers need to be ballanced so the places are restricted.
We used to offer or allow the single guys as a plus one to make it manageable but it was very rarely used?
Bristol has a popular and very well organised social that has been running for as long as we can remember if you fourm search "Bristol" it should come up and it's listed in the meets section, yes it is aimed at couples but think they also offer or used to offer places to the plus one's?
Hope this helps  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"We've organised a few socials and it's incrediblely time consuming and hard work we might add.
Can shed a bit of light on the whole single male thing though
It's a bit of a two fold problem
1 the amount of single men on fab and all wanting to attend far far outweighs the amount of couples and ladies. You would be looking at 400 messages a day and the one's who don't get to go want to be abusive, make life difficult and spoil or prevent the event happening. happened to a social in Plymouth once where meet location was made public years ago and to us post our last event and part of the reason why we took a break from organising socials.
2 by making it open to single men you put off 75% of the couples - was definitely the most common question we where asked in the past.
Seen quite a few socials try to be organised that had single men that don't get off the ground but there's a few going through we've heard just like getting into a club it's going to be difficult because the numbers need to be ballanced so the places are restricted.
We used to offer or allow the single guys as a plus one to make it manageable but it was very rarely used?
Bristol has a popular and very well organised social that has been running for as long as we can remember if you fourm search "Bristol" it should come up and it's listed in the meets section, yes it is aimed at couples but think they also offer or used to offer places to the plus one's?
Hope this helps "
I'm curious.
It works with single males attending in Manchester, Bristol and Northampton.
Why so hard in the SW?
The two most common bits of advice given to single males to help them get involved in swinging and to enable them to show themselves as they are, away from the barrier of a phone/laptop screen are clubs and organised socials.
Yet whilst they're welcome in the club scene it seems not in the world of (some) socials.
As for the aggro of organising them? I know that. We did a huge one many moons ago and welcomed single men. It was no different to allowing women and couples to attend at all. I honestly can't see how gender makes a difference.
A |
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"Exeter, plymouth, newton abbot, winchester, Basingstoke "
...Newport, Cardiff, Swansea, Gloucester. List goes on.
I don't see much of a problem with Bristol excluding guys in honesty. It's what they do, and they do what they do well.
It would maybe be a problem if there were no other options, but there's dozens of alternatives nearby and you kinda know what you'll get with Bristol, so... like, no issue really.
 |
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"We'd love to attend.
If only it wasn't exclusive to couples and single women and literally 'exclusive' to single men.
It's a social. Why exclude one particular group.
A
That's why I've never asked to go. I like single men
Us too.
The top piece of advice given to guys is generally to attend clubs and organised socials.
They're not excluded in Birmingham. Or Manchester. Or Northampton. Or as far as I know anywhere else.
Just Bristol.
How very inclusive........
A
Because single men aren't swingers but single women are and, if course, all men have no control in a social situation. Really needs a facepalm emoji here how can a single woman be a swinger and not a single man?
I think there may have been a slight edge of sarcasm?
Exactly.
I mean.....how are lowly men meant to become fully fledged swingers if they're not able to meet single women at organised socials, hook up, become an item and join the ranks of true, genuine swingers as couples?
A
*we really need a facepalm emoji sometimes. "
Thank you, I'm so glad I'm not the only one bothered by this.
I was gutted when I found out its women and couples only.
No gay/TV couples either from what I gather.
Such a shame. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
I'm curious.
It works with single males attending in Manchester, Bristol and Northampton.
Why so hard in the SW?
The two most common bits of advice given to single males to help them get involved in swinging and to enable them to show themselves as they are, away from the barrier of a phone/laptop screen are clubs and organised socials.
Yet whilst they're welcome in the club scene it seems not in the world of (some) socials.
As for the aggro of organising them? I know that. We did a huge one many moons ago and welcomed single men. It was no different to allowing women and couples to attend at all. I honestly can't see how gender makes a difference.
A"
Pretty sure the Bristol would fall inside in the SW and the social like we just said is aimed for MF, FF & F?
"some" clubs are no different either in the southwest most are aiming at couples and the most popular and highest regarded ones are couples only where as the majority of the the one's that have single guys are smaller or pritty empty in comparison that have a very different atmosphere.
There's a pretty good reason why things are different or the culture is in the swinger scene of the SW because its a lower population stretched accross a large area out on the edge harder to get in and out if you are trying to compare it to London, Midlands, or the city's of the north that are relatively close to each other with massive population so have a far better catchment area. It's not as open minded down here and there is only so many swinger couples and ladies to go around but single male numbers seem to be quite high probably more so post pandemic.
Not bashing any demographic just airing our experience.
You say that you can't see how gender makes a difference but in meny people's experience it does? You need to put yourself in their shoes we suppose? we've been on here both as singles and a couple and hate to say it but in both our experience online, in clubs at organised socials, nudist beaches and so on the majority of single male behaviour and what thay deem appropriate is very different sadly to say how a couple or single lady would behave? Yes there are some good guys out there but let's just say they only make a small percentage. Yes it's good advice for the genuine male to get out to a club or social but also couples and ladies are far outnumbered by single males on here by a large margin so unlike the guys would be unindated with choice and opportunities not to mention some purely just don't want to meet or be in the same event as them. Sorry that's just the way the scene has always been unfortunately.
Age old saying is think that you don't like something or think you can do better make a change or do it yourself, build it and they will come even comes to mind but it's a whole load of work we can tell you! We would like to see more socials and other events in the southwest that cater for both couples and ladies that do or don't want to meet single men if we're honest
Best of luck if you choose to organise one |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Exeter, plymouth, newton abbot, winchester, Basingstoke
...Newport, Cardiff, Swansea, Gloucester. List goes on.
I don't see much of a problem with Bristol excluding guys in honesty. It's what they do, and they do what they do well.
It would maybe be a problem if there were no other options, but there's dozens of alternatives nearby and you kinda know what you'll get with Bristol, so... like, no issue really.
"
Any social organiser can choose who they want attending, of course.
It just feels 'exclusive' rather than inclusive, which (in my mind) goes against the ethos of both socials and swinging in general.
Also doesn't help folk like us who 95% look to meet single guys.
Yes, there are other socials. We'd have loved to have gone to Manchester the other weekend and still hope to get to an UTB one. But we can be in Bristol in around half an hour as opposed to needing an overnight stay to attend most others.
It's a social. Not a play event. I honestly don't see how allowing single guys makes life any harder than having couples and women attend. There are as many 'problem' couples in the world of swinging as guys after all, so excluding all is frustrating for men, women and couples alike.
Just our view of course. Others will of course differ. 
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Exeter, plymouth, newton abbot, winchester, Basingstoke "
Exeter has had a few different organisers = some had single males
Plymouth = we've been to some in the last few years and pritty sure had limited guy spaces.
Newton abbot? Wow missed that one.
Also there was a couple who ran one in Cornwall we know but none recently - never been so can't say if it had guys allowed |
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"Exeter, plymouth, newton abbot, winchester, Basingstoke
...Newport, Cardiff, Swansea, Gloucester. List goes on.
I don't see much of a problem with Bristol excluding guys in honesty. It's what they do, and they do what they do well.
It would maybe be a problem if there were no other options, but there's dozens of alternatives nearby and you kinda know what you'll get with Bristol, so... like, no issue really.
Any social organiser can choose who they want attending, of course.
It just feels 'exclusive' rather than inclusive, which (in my mind) goes against the ethos of both socials and swinging in general.
Also doesn't help folk like us who 95% look to meet single guys.
Yes, there are other socials. We'd have loved to have gone to Manchester the other weekend and still hope to get to an UTB one. But we can be in Bristol in around half an hour as opposed to needing an overnight stay to attend most others.
It's a social. Not a play event. I honestly don't see how allowing single guys makes life any harder than having couples and women attend. There are as many 'problem' couples in the world of swinging as guys after all, so excluding all is frustrating for men, women and couples alike.
Just our view of course. Others will of course differ.
A"
Oh sure. I'm barely one way or another on the issue in honesty, mainly because like I said... there's so much choice I don't begrudge any one social having a bit of a different view.
But then, there's been a lot of female/femme only socials over the years and... yeah, that seems like nothing but a good thing.
If there's a demand for a complete social in Brizzle (and I'd go, it's ace there), then it'll happen y'know?
|
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Exeter, plymouth, newton abbot, winchester, Basingstoke
...Newport, Cardiff, Swansea, Gloucester. List goes on.
I don't see much of a problem with Bristol excluding guys in honesty. It's what they do, and they do what they do well.
It would maybe be a problem if there were no other options, but there's dozens of alternatives nearby and you kinda know what you'll get with Bristol, so... like, no issue really.
Any social organiser can choose who they want attending, of course.
It just feels 'exclusive' rather than inclusive, which (in my mind) goes against the ethos of both socials and swinging in general.
Also doesn't help folk like us who 95% look to meet single guys.
Yes, there are other socials. We'd have loved to have gone to Manchester the other weekend and still hope to get to an UTB one. But we can be in Bristol in around half an hour as opposed to needing an overnight stay to attend most others.
It's a social. Not a play event. I honestly don't see how allowing single guys makes life any harder than having couples and women attend. There are as many 'problem' couples in the world of swinging as guys after all, so excluding all is frustrating for men, women and couples alike.
Just our view of course. Others will of course differ.
A
Oh sure. I'm barely one way or another on the issue in honesty, mainly because like I said... there's so much choice I don't begrudge any one social having a bit of a different view.
But then, there's been a lot of female/femme only socials over the years and... yeah, that seems like nothing but a good thing.
If there's a demand for a complete social in Brizzle (and I'd go, it's ace there), then it'll happen y'know?
"
It would be great. Even if couples were allowed to add a +1. The current Bristol one already permits single guys and gals to go as a 'couple' so what harm in throuples?
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Probably worth pointing out that you maybe alright in Bristol-south whales area. there isn't meny proper or regular socials going on south of the Bristol area currently though.
There is one in torbay but it is in a club and play is allowed so technically not really a social. Something we can't get our heads around because you don't have to play in a club anyway and it's perfectly acceptable to go to a club nite like secrets and just network?
If you live in Cornwall, plymouth, Devon, Dorset, Somerset you wouldn't be spoilt for choice and may have to travel some distance regardless on insrests or demographic |
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As a newbie to all of this socials have been recommended as a way to meet people, I can be quite shy at first so attending a club night is probably out of my depth at the moment.
I'd love to attend one in Devon/SW or even just meet people for a social that isn't an Event.
Even getting that as a single guy is a nightmare I've found so far. |
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"We'd love to attend.
If only it wasn't exclusive to couples and single women and literally 'exclusive' to single men.
It's a social. Why exclude one particular group.
A
That's why I've never asked to go. I like single men
Us too.
The top piece of advice given to guys is generally to attend clubs and organised socials.
They're not excluded in Birmingham. Or Manchester. Or Northampton. Or as far as I know anywhere else.
Just Bristol.
How very inclusive........
A
I have seen one or two others where they are... can't recall where off the top of my head. But most organisers seem to just cap the numbers rather than excluding.
We should organise a social!"
We’re genuinely looking at venues for one in Taunton and would love to have you guys on board! |
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"I would love to find a social in the South West that caters for singles, rather than just couples. Kx"
Our ideal will be to have a mix, if there’s an entrance fee it will be per person and equal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's a huge social regularly held in Bristol, they always post it in the forums when one is coming up"
When did Bristol become part of the south West???? |
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"There's a huge social regularly held in Bristol, they always post it in the forums when one is coming up
When did Bristol become part of the south West???? "
For the purposes of this it is! It’s certainly not midlands! |
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