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Valid reasons
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"You’re currently happy. If that’s true then why shake things up?
If you’re not happy then do something about it."
I am very happy indeed.
It’s others who aren’t happy to see me happy, I guess I’m looking for more reasons to use if this kind of conversation arises again in the future. |
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"You’re currently happy. If that’s true then why shake things up?
If you’re not happy then do something about it.
I am very happy indeed.
It’s others who aren’t happy to see me happy, I guess I’m looking for more reasons to use if this kind of conversation arises again in the future. "
I just don't understand why some people think that everyone ought to be partnered up. |
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By *pYaMan
over a year ago
whereever you are… |
Being single has its benefits, but having a partner does too.
If I could be single and have a friend to to spend time with and go on holiday together but with no commitment to each other (other than friends) that would be ideal  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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because i refuse to let anyone that close to me ever again, just to ruin every piece of my soul.
being single means i can do what i want, when i want, without fear of someone hurting me again.
only you know why you want to be single OP.. you don't need to justify it to anyone at all.
you do you  Px  |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"You’re currently happy. If that’s true then why shake things up?
If you’re not happy then do something about it.
I am very happy indeed.
It’s others who aren’t happy to see me happy, I guess I’m looking for more reasons to use if this kind of conversation arises again in the future. "
Fuck ‘em! |
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"Also these people are the ones who need valid reasons for questioning you. Maybe smile nicely and tell them to mind their own effing business  "
Absolutely agree. I feel like it’s time for some serious “friends” revaluation. |
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"You’re currently happy. If that’s true then why shake things up?
If you’re not happy then do something about it.
I am very happy indeed.
It’s others who aren’t happy to see me happy, I guess I’m looking for more reasons to use if this kind of conversation arises again in the future. "
Yep this, is others making me feel abnormal for being single by choice or not. I hate people saying, oh you should get a gf like it's so fucking easy, argghhh. |
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"Also these people are the ones who need valid reasons for questioning you. Maybe smile nicely and tell them to mind their own effing business
Absolutely agree. I feel like it’s time for some serious “friends” revaluation."
It makes me really cross when others try to make you be like them. Could it be insecurity on their part? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"because i refuse to let anyone that close to me ever again, just to ruin every piece of my soul.
being single means i can do what i want, when i want, without fear of someone hurting me again.
only you know why you want to be single OP.. you don't need to justify it to anyone at all.
you do you Px "
Or who you want  |
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"Also these people are the ones who need valid reasons for questioning you. Maybe smile nicely and tell them to mind their own effing business
Absolutely agree. I feel like it’s time for some serious “friends” revaluation.
It makes me really cross when others try to make you be like them. Could it be insecurity on their part?"
Possibly. I feel like they see me as a potential threat to their “relationship”.
They stop including me in our usual outings, unless I come with 1+.
I know it’s ridiculous and I know my way around it but just feel like I need some validation for my decision. Hope it makes sense. |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"Also these people are the ones who need valid reasons for questioning you. Maybe smile nicely and tell them to mind their own effing business
Absolutely agree. I feel like it’s time for some serious “friends” revaluation.
It makes me really cross when others try to make you be like them. Could it be insecurity on their part?
Possibly. I feel like they see me as a potential threat to their “relationship”.
They stop including me in our usual outings, unless I come with 1+.
I know it’s ridiculous and I know my way around it but just feel like I need some validation for my decision. Hope it makes sense."
You’re a little bit of your own worst enemy by the sounds of things.
If any of my “friends” treated me even slightly like that, they’d be called out and/or kicked to the curb.
Stand up for yourself. Have an honest conversation, say exactly how you feel and how they make you feel. If they’re genuine friends they’ll be mortified about how they’ve made you feel. If they’re not then time to show them the door. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Also these people are the ones who need valid reasons for questioning you. Maybe smile nicely and tell them to mind their own effing business
Absolutely agree. I feel like it’s time for some serious “friends” revaluation.
It makes me really cross when others try to make you be like them. Could it be insecurity on their part?
Possibly. I feel like they see me as a potential threat to their “relationship”.
They stop including me in our usual outings, unless I come with 1+.
I know it’s ridiculous and I know my way around it but just feel like I need some validation for my decision. Hope it makes sense."
They might have stopped because they didn't want you to feel like a third wheel. Or they felt the pressure to entertain you whilst having plus 1 takes that off them and allows them some silliness just between them even if out with other people. Can be so many reasons.
I think sometimes other people think they know what would be good for us. But maybe it's actually what would make them more comfortable to be around you?
T |
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"Also these people are the ones who need valid reasons for questioning you. Maybe smile nicely and tell them to mind their own effing business
Absolutely agree. I feel like it’s time for some serious “friends” revaluation.
It makes me really cross when others try to make you be like them. Could it be insecurity on their part?
Possibly. I feel like they see me as a potential threat to their “relationship”.
They stop including me in our usual outings, unless I come with 1+.
I know it’s ridiculous and I know my way around it but just feel like I need some validation for my decision. Hope it makes sense.
You’re a little bit of your own worst enemy by the sounds of things.
If any of my “friends” treated me even slightly like that, they’d be called out and/or kicked to the curb.
Stand up for yourself. Have an honest conversation, say exactly how you feel and how they make you feel. If they’re genuine friends they’ll be mortified about how they’ve made you feel. If they’re not then time to show them the door."
That’s true. I have this conversation in my head just not able to verbally express it.
Haven’t been feeling well MH wise recently and that’s probably why.
Thanks, btw
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"Also these people are the ones who need valid reasons for questioning you. Maybe smile nicely and tell them to mind their own effing business
Absolutely agree. I feel like it’s time for some serious “friends” revaluation.
It makes me really cross when others try to make you be like them. Could it be insecurity on their part?
Possibly. I feel like they see me as a potential threat to their “relationship”.
They stop including me in our usual outings, unless I come with 1+.
I know it’s ridiculous and I know my way around it but just feel like I need some validation for my decision. Hope it makes sense."
I'm sorry to hear this. We have more single than partnered friends who we meet regularly together and separately.
I understand how people can make you feel you need to validate your personal situation. I have a couple of mates like that.
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"The only validation you need for any decision you make beautiful OP is for you to make it yourself and like it.
No fucks given remember?
Sending hugs "
I do, my love.
Getting better and better every day.
Thank you x
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+ to having a relationship,
Someone who’ll look out for you, care when you’re feeling ill or down.
Financially as long as they work, two incomes.
Hugs.
Sex, well at least at the beginning.
Someone to bounce ideas off, advise, talk, share good and bad days.
- for having a relationship.
Dealing with their moods.
Feeling they’re taking you for granted.
Having to compromise.
Criticism.
Sex getting stale.
Not feeling you have your own space, friends or life.
But if they’re your best friend, lover and someone you still fancy the pants off them, then all of the above doesn’t matter. |
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By *4bimMan
over a year ago
Farnborough Hampshire |
what is in your heart OP?
what conversation have you had with yourself?
because we sometimes pretend to listen to others but soon we are alone with our thoughts go in a different direction.
what is it you need out of a relationship?
is it a complete full on lets get off fabs type or lets make a couples profile type.
nothing personal. but what do you bring to a relationship? your selling point is? is it a fear of getting older that you feel rushed to do it?
and if you met someone, even if they were on here would you be prepared to leave this, all your male friends and make sure they were the only person in your life.
its not easy. |
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"+ to having a relationship,
Someone who’ll look out for you, care when you’re feeling ill or down.
Financially as long as they work, two incomes.
Hugs.
Sex, well at least at the beginning.
Someone to bounce ideas off, advise, talk, share good and bad days.
- for having a relationship.
Dealing with their moods.
Feeling they’re taking you for granted.
Having to compromise.
Criticism.
Sex getting stale.
Not feeling you have your own space, friends or life.
But if they’re your best friend, lover and someone you still fancy the pants off them, then all of the above doesn’t matter. "
This is brilliant, thank you xx |
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"I can think of so many but in a nutshell I get to do exactly what I want when I want. No compromising. No one killing my vibe. "
Exactly this, with the addition of people can have some really annoying traits, if you spend too long with them |
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"what is in your heart OP?
what conversation have you had with yourself?
because we sometimes pretend to listen to others but soon we are alone with our thoughts go in a different direction.
what is it you need out of a relationship?
is it a complete full on lets get off fabs type or lets make a couples profile type.
nothing personal. but what do you bring to a relationship? your selling point is? is it a fear of getting older that you feel rushed to do it?
and if you met someone, even if they were on here would you be prepared to leave this, all your male friends and make sure they were the only person in your life.
its not easy."
It’s got nothing to do with Fab.
Just to be clear, I am perfectly happy with being single, couldn’t be happier, really.
It’s others around me who aren’t, and I look for more valid points to stick in their heads. |
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By *4bimMan
over a year ago
Farnborough Hampshire |
"what is in your heart OP?
what conversation have you had with yourself?
because we sometimes pretend to listen to others but soon we are alone with our thoughts go in a different direction.
what is it you need out of a relationship?
is it a complete full on lets get off fabs type or lets make a couples profile type.
nothing personal. but what do you bring to a relationship? your selling point is? is it a fear of getting older that you feel rushed to do it?
and if you met someone, even if they were on here would you be prepared to leave this, all your male friends and make sure they were the only person in your life.
its not easy.
It’s got nothing to do with Fab.
Just to be clear, I am perfectly happy with being single, couldn’t be happier, really.
It’s others around me who aren’t, and I look for more valid points to stick in their heads."
then to them its a thanks but no thanks.
good luck op |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
"to stay single.
After a serious pep talk from a friend last night, I guess I need some validation for my decision to stay single forever."
Finding a relasionship based on the expectations of others is one reason to stay single.
If something happens organicly then that is one thing but, looking for something can lead to bad discission and poor judgement. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Hey OP.
First, I really like that item in your avatar - I'm sure I've seen another user with it - where is it from? :D
There's nothing wrong with not wanting a relationship, there's nothing wrong with wanting one. On the forums we're quite quick to post about the downsides of relationships. In the right one for you I don't think there are.
Equally, being single is great. I guess the validation is - is it what you want in this moment of time/for however long? Does it make you happy? That's enough. Validate yourself and know that your decision is valid and right for you, x |
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"to stay single.
After a serious pep talk from a friend last night, I guess I need some validation for my decision to stay single forever."
‘Pep talks’ irritate the hell out of me. Friends sitting me down to discuss why I am single and how to overcome it.
I totally get that, as ‘animals’ we are predisposed to finding a mate to share life with and procreate. The fact is, we’re no longer animals. We can reason, cogitate and evolve.
I’m single and have been for a very long time. I have been trying to date for some of that, unsuccessfully. I would like to be with someone but I refuse to ‘settle’ and so the hunt continues. But there are long periods of my life in which I have actively avoided dating and relationships. It seems there are some who have relationships that feel everybody should also be in one and that they must be unhappy or flawed if they are not!
Fuck off!!!
If your life is working for you, that’s great. I’m genuinely pleased for you. But don’t judge me by your standards. There is nothing wrong with me. I am me. And if I’m actually happy atm, then fuck you for seeking to unbalance me.
Easier typed here than said to a friend’s face though, eh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You’re currently happy. If that’s true then why shake things up?
If you’re not happy then do something about it.
I am very happy indeed.
It’s others who aren’t happy to see me happy, I guess I’m looking for more reasons to use if this kind of conversation arises again in the future. "
In that case, say you're not making a conscious decision to remain single but to be happy, and if something happens for you to change being single, you'll accept it, and until then you'll keep looking to remain happy. |
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By *pYaMan
over a year ago
whereever you are… |
Dear OP, (and anyone else in a similar situation).
If you are happy it is them that has a problem, sometimes we have to make some decisions and go a different direction.
About 20 years ago I had a massive friendship circle, however they did not like that I was taking time for myself and would not go out with them every night, they started cutting me out of things and I thought hold on, WTF, it was at that point I realised they were not really my friends and I dropped them all.
I now have a few friends (very few) but I am happy with that and free to do what I want and don’t have to comply with them.
Their loss as far as I am concerned.
Do what is best for you and be happy. |
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"You’re currently happy. If that’s true then why shake things up?
If you’re not happy then do something about it.
I am very happy indeed.
It’s others who aren’t happy to see me happy, I guess I’m looking for more reasons to use if this kind of conversation arises again in the future. "
If others aren't happy for you if there in your friend group or part of your family it's time you made it clear that you no longer want them in your life if there being negative about your happiness |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"Also these people are the ones who need valid reasons for questioning you. Maybe smile nicely and tell them to mind their own effing business
Absolutely agree. I feel like it’s time for some serious “friends” revaluation.
It makes me really cross when others try to make you be like them. Could it be insecurity on their part?
Possibly. I feel like they see me as a potential threat to their “relationship”.
They stop including me in our usual outings, unless I come with 1+.
I know it’s ridiculous and I know my way around it but just feel like I need some validation for my decision. Hope it makes sense.
You’re a little bit of your own worst enemy by the sounds of things.
If any of my “friends” treated me even slightly like that, they’d be called out and/or kicked to the curb.
Stand up for yourself. Have an honest conversation, say exactly how you feel and how they make you feel. If they’re genuine friends they’ll be mortified about how they’ve made you feel. If they’re not then time to show them the door.
That’s true. I have this conversation in my head just not able to verbally express it.
Haven’t been feeling well MH wise recently and that’s probably why.
Thanks, btw
"
Ah then it’s bound to proper sting you as they’re supposed to be your support network. 
Massively shitty of them to let you down. Mind if I ping you a message? |
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"Hey OP.
First, I really like that item in your avatar - I'm sure I've seen another user with it - where is it from? :D
There's nothing wrong with not wanting a relationship, there's nothing wrong with wanting one. On the forums we're quite quick to post about the downsides of relationships. In the right one for you I don't think there are.
Equally, being single is great. I guess the validation is - is it what you want in this moment of time/for however long? Does it make you happy? That's enough. Validate yourself and know that your decision is valid and right for you, x"
Hi Meli, thank you. The item is Figleaves Pimlico slip and I got it from ASOS a while ago. It’s like a second skin.
I am completely happy with my decision of being single and I understand now I no longer need a validation from so called “friends”. |
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"Also these people are the ones who need valid reasons for questioning you. Maybe smile nicely and tell them to mind their own effing business
Absolutely agree. I feel like it’s time for some serious “friends” revaluation.
It makes me really cross when others try to make you be like them. Could it be insecurity on their part?
Possibly. I feel like they see me as a potential threat to their “relationship”.
They stop including me in our usual outings, unless I come with 1+.
I know it’s ridiculous and I know my way around it but just feel like I need some validation for my decision. Hope it makes sense.
You’re a little bit of your own worst enemy by the sounds of things.
If any of my “friends” treated me even slightly like that, they’d be called out and/or kicked to the curb.
Stand up for yourself. Have an honest conversation, say exactly how you feel and how they make you feel. If they’re genuine friends they’ll be mortified about how they’ve made you feel. If they’re not then time to show them the door.
That’s true. I have this conversation in my head just not able to verbally express it.
Haven’t been feeling well MH wise recently and that’s probably why.
Thanks, btw
Ah then it’s bound to proper sting you as they’re supposed to be your support network.
Massively shitty of them to let you down. Mind if I ping you a message?"
Of course, feel free x |
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