FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Ex gf pics… keep or delete???
Ex gf pics… keep or delete???
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So what is the right thing to do??? Pics of the mrs / now ex mrs… I to this day still play over them. They are fucking amazing. But now we have split up so I delete them or is it ok to keep them?? |
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"So what is the right thing to do??? Pics of the mrs / now ex mrs… I to this day still play over them. They are fucking amazing. But now we have split up so I delete them or is it ok to keep them?? "
-Why are you asking anyone else? |
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fwiw I went through some from last year on my pc just recently. Saw friends in common (one since dead), some great times, lovely Irish views, and Wales too. It's over, but I'm not happy to delete them yet clearly. We took some good pics - quite a lot over the year. Maybe one day I'll cut it down to a few. Maybe chuck the lot who knows. I do like my pics though. It#s up to you. The other person is unlikely to care either way. Maybe someone new might. At least if you keep looking at them. Bu they're just pics. pt |
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I don't think keeping them necessarily means you haven't moved on. Some people really do take interesting pics. It's life. It's our lives. Tbh, every relationship I've personally had really meant something to me. I put a lot into them and tried and make them work. I've probably got pics going back a few tbh. pt |
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I know a couple of my old flames will have done the same. Love is an unusual thing, and I still love them all in a certain way. Nothing has turned to hate for me. If only love was enough! We continue, we strive. pt |
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Wow, very personal and individual thing.
If you are holding onto them due to personal commitment type issues i.e. not moving on, then personally I would say delete them.
I was married for over 30 years but from about the first year on it was very apparent the whole marriage thing from both sides was just a convenience thing. The only thing we had in common was the swinging lifestyle and pretty much nothing else. I rarely, if ever, kept any pics etc. of just the two of us and any that I had just fell to a bin somewhere along the line.
With any of the swinging, cuckold, 3 sums, gangbangs etc. I only made with everyone involved authority and there was always the strict rule of all faces etc. edited to blur out which I always did and destroyed the original un-edited ones. When we did separate and divorce, we both agreed that all profiles were to be deleted but agreed due to the no faces or identities shown, that we could keep them for our own use. We split due to life just moving on and no animosity between us and in fact now neither of us have anything, what so ever, to do with each other, even live in totally different countries. So a totally different scenario to what I believe yours is. I've never and will never show these to family or mutual friends etc. but as it was agreed we could keep them for our own benefits, I do share and some when playing with some fb's who have never met us prior to the divorce. Never for anything to make her, and I hope the same from her side as well, to cause issues for one another. Just for sexual gratification etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’d say anything like nudes etc should definitely be deleted but normal pics of you both don’t need to be deleted. It’ll be harder to move on with reminders there but that’s your call 
Mr |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"So what is the right thing to do??? Pics of the mrs / now ex mrs… I to this day still play over them. They are fucking amazing. But now we have split up so I delete them or is it ok to keep them?? "
Have you asked her?
A |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
So long as strictly for you then completely your choice.
Personally I’d advise deleting as only prolonging the hurt.
Should caveat that by saying if she’s requests you delete all nudes & the like, then respect her choice, but she doesn’t haven’t the right to ask you to delete “normal” pics. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"So long as strictly for you then completely your choice.
Personally I’d advise deleting as only prolonging the hurt.
Should caveat that by saying if she’s requests you delete all nudes & the like, then respect her choice, but she doesn’t haven’t the right to ask you to delete “normal” pics. "
Yep - very much this. If she asks you to delete adult material, don't be a dick and keep it. Just delete that and move on. |
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"So what is the right thing to do??? Pics of the mrs / now ex mrs… I to this day still play over them. They are fucking amazing. But now we have split up so I delete them or is it ok to keep them?? "
Your asking others opinions on this, the only opinion that should inform this decision, is what you feel around it. And in turn how think around it. These ppl will tell you x y and z in regards what to do. Ultimately its up to you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a feeling by the way you worded your OP that you aren’t talking about normal pictures. If she hasn’t given you consent to still have them, do the right thing and delete them. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
Keep them, if you're certain they won't end up being seen by someone else, and you still find them useful to wank over.
Personally, I don't find anything about my ex attractive any more, but I have pics of him at parties etc on my phone and Facebook as we had 30 years of life together.
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I have pictures of me and my ex wife on my phone, should I delete those and pretend my marriage never happened ?
Same as an ex girlfriend I really loved, on Facebook sent me some pictures of our time together.
These women are part of my life, so I’m not going to do a Stalin and photoshop them out of my memories.
If a picture causes emotional distress then delete away for your sanity sake. But if you think in a few years it’ll be nice to have those memories keep them. |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"So what is the right thing to do??? Pics of the mrs / now ex mrs… I to this day still play over them. They are fucking amazing. But now we have split up so I delete them or is it ok to keep them?? "
its ok and next time shes in contact have sex with her too i mean it was a great aspect of your now defunct relationship  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it’s entirely up to you too. If you decide to keep them though, please make sure you won’t share them with anyone, you owe it to your ex. "
Agreed 100% .. also delete if ex has asked you to of course |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Delete, that's really creepy.
I’d be totally creeped out if I learned that my ex-wife was wanking over photos of my old cock.  "
Your cock doesn’t look that old |
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If you don't feel the need to delete them (and only you will know that) tben I dont see the harm in keeping them if you want to. I missed the sexual connotation of the OP here at fitst, but even those kind tbh. I show the very barest glimpse of my ex on one, but she wouldn't care. She was like me and saw very pic I own on here! Obviously I wouldn't share anything actually identifying.
This is so subjective I dont see how it can be a moral issue. Pictures have always been really important to me. Some people enjoy the act of deleting them and moving on, but each to their own surely? People have such different relationships too. And most people will do what they actually want to do in these matters anyway, not what's in line with the morality of others.
Pt |
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"So what is the right thing to do??? Pics of the mrs / now ex mrs… I to this day still play over them. They are fucking amazing. But now we have split up so I delete them or is it ok to keep them?? "
Delete. Move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So what is the right thing to do??? Pics of the mrs / now ex mrs… I to this day still play over them. They are fucking amazing. But now we have split up so I delete them or is it ok to keep them?? "
Keep them, it's a Kodak moment. |
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You said you play with yourself over them so it’s clearly not the book of face type pics. In which case you should delete.
Well at least you haven’t put them on here, which is seemingly what a lot of guys do to entice future partners 
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What do you think your ex would say if you were to ask her what she thinks?
If I split up with my partner, amicably, then I wouldn't have an issue if he wanted to keep them. As long as they were kept for his use only. I've spent a long time with my partner and he's seen me at my best and worst, so as long as we were on good terms I genuinely wouldn't mind.
I think the best option is to ask for her consent. If you can't do that, delete them.
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"What do you think your ex would say if you were to ask her what she thinks?
If I split up with my partner, amicably, then I wouldn't have an issue if he wanted to keep them. As long as they were kept for his use only. I've spent a long time with my partner and he's seen me at my best and worst, so as long as we were on good terms I genuinely wouldn't mind.
I think the best option is to ask for her consent. If you can't do that, delete them.
"
LBC, I want to butter your cupcakes! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What do you think your ex would say if you were to ask her what she thinks?
If I split up with my partner, amicably, then I wouldn't have an issue if he wanted to keep them. As long as they were kept for his use only. I've spent a long time with my partner and he's seen me at my best and worst, so as long as we were on good terms I genuinely wouldn't mind.
I think the best option is to ask for her consent. If you can't do that, delete them.
LBC, I want to butter your cupcakes!"
Aweeee I feel like I've not seen you in ages!! I'm glad you're still around.  |
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"What do you think your ex would say if you were to ask her what she thinks?
If I split up with my partner, amicably, then I wouldn't have an issue if he wanted to keep them. As long as they were kept for his use only. I've spent a long time with my partner and he's seen me at my best and worst, so as long as we were on good terms I genuinely wouldn't mind.
I think the best option is to ask for her consent. If you can't do that, delete them.
LBC, I want to butter your cupcakes!
Aweeee I feel like I've not seen you in ages!! I'm glad you're still around. "
People keep saying this and I feel like a fossil now  |
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"Are we talking just normal everyday pics or nude/sexy pics?"
Both, so best to specify if you have anopinion think.
I don't think this is a broadly moralistic matter in the way some people seem to it - certainly for non-nudes and even for nudes at lot of the time. I recently uploaded part of an ex's image, I think only for only the second time ever. I'm not going to feel bad about it - you can't identify her and she wouldn't care either. Do what feels right for you. Only you will know if it's exploitation or not! I'm pretty good on ethical issues and think it's fine. And she's hardly the focus of the image anyway. I'm certainly not going to totally delete the thing that's for sure!
I never get why people have to ask others this kind of stuff tbh, other than to be funny or perverse in their thread I guess. How will anyone else know?? I'm certainly not going to guide my life according to the broader morals of an online forum and I doubt anyone else will either! Pretty much all of us will do exactly what we feel like *at the time* re these type of private matters,whatever we tell others to do imo. Not everyone needs to delete all the pics to actually 'move on' that's for sure. Clearly a lot here do, but that is just them. pt |
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By *eyeYCouple
over a year ago
Nr Leicester |
Bluntly ex without kid's delete.. With kids as with Mr, keep his daughter lost her mum 10 years ago and is so glad she has the photos of them together, because he kept them for her. |
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Is it just me or does all this advice of deleting seem to anyone else maybe a touch cold? Especially in terms of where someone else might be 'at' (not particularly themselves as such).
I never married in the end, and as a consequence I've had a few relationships over my life. Once me and a partner split and then got back together not that long afterwards. She deleted her pics quite quickly while she was just really upset, and she told me she regretted it just as an act (I'm talking WA type nude pics here too, I tended to take the more normal ones).
I personally don't think it's necessarily all that 'healthy' to do it that quickly, but who am I to judge others? People will always do what they want surely. You can hardly get more personal than stuff like this.
Whenever I have split up with someone (and for whatever reasons I guess) I've never jumped back into a new relationships either, I tend to have a fairly long and contemplative 'regrouping' period first. Maybe that could involve photos? I'm sure a few times it has. pt |
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"I don't think this is a broadly moralistic matter in the way some people seem to it - certainly for non-nudes and even for nudes at lot of the time. I recently uploaded part of an ex's image, I think only for only the second time ever. I'm not going to feel bad about it - you can't identify her and she wouldn't care either. Do what feels right for you. Only you will know if it's exploitation or not! I'm pretty good on ethical issues and think it's fine. And she's hardly the focus of the image anyway. I'm certainly not going to totally delete the thing that's for sure!"
So your ex wouldn’t mind you posting a pic of her face as she’s rimming you and using her image to entice other play friends for you? What an understanding ex you have…
Asking yourself if you’re pretty good on ethical issues and saying it’s fine, doesn’t mean it’s fine! You’re hardly going to say no it’s not fine, since you posted a pic of your ex on a sex site!
I’ll guarantee that if 99% of people knew that their pics would be used on a sex site, by their ex, without their permission, they wouldn’t be fine…they’d be less than fine!
K |
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I still have pics and videos of ex partners and lovers in my phone, both intimate and regular ones. I’ve looked at them occasionally, had a couple of wanks watching some footage remembering better times.
They will equally have photos and videos of me. As long as they’re not sharing them, I don’t care that they still have them. Deleting the pic/video doesn’t delete the memory or make it so it didn’t happen so I don’t think it makes much difference tbh.
I think carefully about who I take pics/videos with because I always have in mind that they last forever. |
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"I still have pics and videos of ex partners and lovers in my phone, both intimate and regular ones. I’ve looked at them occasionally, had a couple of wanks watching some footage remembering better times.
They will equally have photos and videos of me. As long as they’re not sharing them, I don’t care that they still have them. Deleting the pic/video doesn’t delete the memory or make it so it didn’t happen so I don’t think it makes much difference tbh.
I think carefully about who I take pics/videos with because I always have in mind that they last forever.
"
--That last bit especially is a really good point I think.
I understand people feeling protective of their (and others) images, but I really don't get the level of moralising (our own relationships are known only to ourselves obviously, and 'weird' seems entirely the wrong word to me too).
It is human nature though I think to 'universalise' the subjective, ie to make-appropriate for others what we'd basically want for ourselves (or would *like to think* we'd do ourselves sometimes imo) - but of course that stems from the personal.
Hence even when navels were labelled by most fabbers as unattractive - a thread that made me chuckle recently because I know in the trade how much certain types of navels are used to sell so many things! I think that some of us sometimes 'subjectify' matters that are meant to be objective, on lots of levels.
And we do the opposite too. I read a thread the other day asking very-critically "what would our parents say?" about trans people. (Ok it was a bit of a trollish thread). But can we ask that question about being on Fabswingers too I wondered? Of course sometimes we objectify things and ignore what we do ourselves completely!
But the whole internet's known for being on the judgemental side, and probably Fab isn't really any different to anywhere else - why would it be I guess. We are all sexual creatures, and especially on here surely.
pt |
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"I don't think this is a broadly moralistic matter in the way some people seem to it - certainly for non-nudes and even for nudes at lot of the time. I recently uploaded part of an ex's image, I think only for only the second time ever. I'm not going to feel bad about it - you can't identify her and she wouldn't care either. Do what feels right for you. Only you will know if it's exploitation or not! I'm pretty good on ethical issues and think it's fine. And she's hardly the focus of the image anyway. I'm certainly not going to totally delete the thing that's for sure!
So your ex wouldn’t mind you posting a pic of her face as she’s rimming you and using her image to entice other play friends for you? What an understanding ex you have…
Asking yourself if you’re pretty good on ethical issues and saying it’s fine, doesn’t mean it’s fine! You’re hardly going to say no it’s not fine, since you posted a pic of your ex on a sex site!
I’ll guarantee that if 99% of people knew that their pics would be used on a sex site, by their ex, without their permission, they wouldn’t be fine…they’d be less than fine!
K "
As I seem to be blocked every now and again as a 'profile of no interest' on FS I think (which is entirely fair enough imo lol), I thought I better add here you can't really see (or certainly identify) my ex's face (she is sort-of rimming me) - and that is all you can see. I wouldn't go further than that, and the focus is on me or my side anyway.
And I'd also add too that no she wouldn't mind. She was bisexual and really into sex, just like me. I'll actually be sending her some face pics soon of her smiling (ie entirely at me), which she can use in places like Ok cupid if she wants to. And I expect she will too, as photography is something I'm quite good at and she looks fab in them. We probably took thousands between us over a year or so. People's lives are so personal, these things are up to us no? I honestly don't forget everyone too. Partners in my life do somehow remain part of my life.
pt |
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move on with your life! 
