FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Are you ever shy?
Are you ever shy?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
I had dinner with my bestie tonight. She knows all about my fab adventures and as we chatted she asked me this question.
I think she was pretty surprised when I said yes. I'm actually shy a lot.
I mean on here, behind a screen it's very easy to fake confidence. In person though it's very different.
I can think of lots of times when I've been suddenly overcome with shyness. Thinking things I want to say or do with someone in the moment but suddenly I'm too shy to say it or do it.
I remember being in the hot tub at chams in a bikini because I was too shy to strip off. I also genuinely didn't know where do look at times.
So are you ever shy? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes, anytime I’m pitched into a room full of strangers. I’m overcome with a crippling shyness that has me looking for the first. Possible exit strategy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I have a lot of shyness, and a lot of exhibitionism.
I think most times now I'm happy and comfortable enough to just be me. Put me in a swingers club or dungeon or just in good company and I have no doubts about myself.
But general social situations can be squiffy for me. And if I have a crush on someone I'm rarely capable of speech in their presence. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes, all the time! And that may surprise people who know me on here and those who know what job I do.
As a child I was painfully shy and far too polite for my own good. I’ve overcome a lot of that but some is ingrained and always will be.
In situations with which I am comfortable ie work/friends, I am fine. Anything where I feel out of place like not knowing people or anything to do with where I am, I’ll be reserved and quiet until someone draws me in.
Makes me feel so childish, sometimes. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think it is more common than you think.
Clubs can be quite intimidating if you are on your own. For a bloke you hesitate to join an existing group.
Shyness can be deeply ingrained, but a bit like a sticking plaster you have just to rip it off.
Not that I always take my own advice.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I'm horrendously shy. I get so much anxiety in any situation where there are people, and I can't settle at all. I hate people looking at me, I'm certain people are judging me (past experience has shown me that is true) and anything I say or do is completely wrong.
But I learnt over many years of running a pub how to put on my armour when I need to. That's Posh. She doesn't give a flying monkeys brass bollock if people are looking, or judging. Or if she looks and sounds like a prick.
And when I'm wearing her, I'm inside, crying, more often than not. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Around people I’m not familiar with, definitely! Especially if it a group. I do come out of it quite quickly though once I’ve got a feel for the people I’m around. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ubal1Man
over a year ago
Newry Down |
It would depend on the specific circumstances; I am not usually shy (timid or nervous) but I am very frequently cautious until I had sussed the power dynamics of the situation, and tailored my behaviour accordingly.
Ordinarily and almost invariably, I am not shy; I never have been. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Yes, all the time! And that may surprise people who know me on here and those who know what job I do.
As a child I was painfully shy and far too polite for my own good. I’ve overcome a lot of that but some is ingrained and always will be.
In situations with which I am comfortable ie work/friends, I am fine. Anything where I feel out of place like not knowing people or anything to do with where I am, I’ll be reserved and quiet until someone draws me in.
Makes me feel so childish, sometimes."
No matter how old you are, if it's not you are not naturally extrovert it's not going to change much I think. Everyone is different. Just be you. I am on the shy side when I first meet someone but not at all with family and friends.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My shyness is very much situation/person dependent. At a 1:1 social, I'm normally pretty relaxed, but would definitely be shy to walk into a big group of people I didn't know...I can do it when I have to though, and usually relax quite quickly.
I've not been to club, but I can imagine I'd be shy there. Maybe that's why I've never been! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If I thought I had to get totally naked then I would suddenly go very shy. Hence why I won't use hot tubs in clubs, I like to keep sexy underwear on.
That's about the only thing I am shy with though really. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It depends on the situation. I get a weird kind of impostor syndrome where I convince myself I'm not interesting/attractive/whatever enough. And that makes me clam up in a vicious shyness circle 
May I refer to my previous thread offer shyness cures courses and of course also my don't give fuck what others think course .
J"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes, I am shy. At school I was really quiet and hated any type of public speaking. Even to this day I’m not a huge fan of it but I get by. I’m also very quietly spoken and I think that hinders me a lot. If I raise my voice I feel like I’m shouting.
So when I’m out in a club or large group I sometimes struggle to get into conversation as I’m just drowned out by others. You could say it affects my confidence too.
Once I get to know people a bit more then I do open up, slowly but surely. I’m also very conscious about not coming across as arrogant/rude/twat etc lol. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I'm not shy in the slightest, but I had politeness and etiquette drummed into me when I was young, so I'd never interrupt a group of people that were talking for instance...I'm not scared to, I just don't want them to think I'm rude, and that can sometimes come across as me being shy.
I also like to suss people out, so I'll often do a lot more listening than talking when meeting someone new. And if I don't like someone I'll usually be the bare minimum of civil...again, not shyness, just stopping myself from calling them a cockwomble. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Never been particularly shy. Always felt comfortable enough to say pretty much what I wanted to anyone ive wanted. But definitely don't think I'm loud or particularly wanted to be the centre of attention either. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’m only ever shy with the people I love. I seem to lose my words and turn into some little version of myself. I’m not sure why. Probably because every second means so much it makes me not want to fuck it up?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m only ever shy with the people I love. I seem to lose my words and turn into some little version of myself. I’m not sure why. Probably because every second means so much it makes me not want to fuck it up? "
Grrr....get em off x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m only ever shy with the people I love. I seem to lose my words and turn into some little version of myself. I’m not sure why. Probably because every second means so much it makes me not want to fuck it up?
Grrr....get em off x"
I’m never shy getting naked  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m only ever shy with the people I love. I seem to lose my words and turn into some little version of myself. I’m not sure why. Probably because every second means so much it makes me not want to fuck it up?
Grrr....get em off x
I’m never shy getting naked "
No wonder you gloriously sexy minx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *r_PinkMan
over a year ago
london stratford |
I used to be painfully shy.
I know, in socials and gatherings I do not come across shy and people have laughed at me when i have told them I can be shy at times.
But inside, I feel like that shy boy I was and sometimes feel I am merely fronting it up. So it hides my shyness. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m only ever shy with the people I love. I seem to lose my words and turn into some little version of myself. I’m not sure why. Probably because every second means so much it makes me not want to fuck it up?
Grrr....get em off x
I’m never shy getting naked
No wonder you gloriously sexy minx "
Shush you! You’ll make me blush
Ps. I very rarely if ever blush  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m only ever shy with the people I love. I seem to lose my words and turn into some little version of myself. I’m not sure why. Probably because every second means so much it makes me not want to fuck it up? "
How little is a little version of Littlebird?
Microbird? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have never been shy, but have a nervous laugh if in the wrong place etc. I dont know where my confidence comes from but every opportunity or difficult times in my life, i have always felt i could take it on. I love talking in front of people and even coach 2 kids football teams. 1 girls and 1 boys and i try and make every kid no matter of abilities believe and feel like they have confident. As 99% of football is down to confident. Im a single dad and a self employed joiner but every day even when its hard or im tired. I give it 100%. I wished people realised how amazing they are and no.matter what life is like. Each day you wake up and take the world on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
I can be very shy - I walked away (almost ran) from someone before as I just lost all brain capacity to talk. I also fidget with my hands a lot and can sometimes go the complete opposite walk and just talk so much nonsense really fast to try and cover for by obvious shyness!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
On occasions I might a mixture of nerves and excitement, like first meeting someone I'm really interested in...that's because I want it to go well.
If I didn't get those feelings I'd question how into them I was.
I'm generally quiet in large groups of people, especially ones I don't know well. Some people equate that to being shy, it's not. I have no desire to be the loudest person in the room  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I … can sometimes go the complete opposite walk and just talk so much nonsense really fast to try and cover for by obvious shyness! "
This is exactly how I imagine you. 
(I’m not shy. Unless you try to take my photo. Then I am.) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m only ever shy with the people I love. I seem to lose my words and turn into some little version of myself. I’m not sure why. Probably because every second means so much it makes me not want to fuck it up?
How little is a little version of Littlebird?
Microbird?"
Hummingbird size  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
from time to time I get struck by what some might call shyness, being coy, reserved, nervous, whatever...
thankfully not often as it can be difficult to move forwards from the point when it kicks in, especially if the person we are meeting seems that way too.
If the conversation dries up anytime thats when Cj will jump in and make things happen (with their permission of course) lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m only ever shy with the people I love. I seem to lose my words and turn into some little version of myself. I’m not sure why. Probably because every second means so much it makes me not want to fuck it up?
How little is a little version of Littlebird?
Microbird?
Hummingbird size "
Cute!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yeah. I deal with it by assuming a character. Works well enough if I'm prepared. Not so well if I'm not which probably makes me seem like I have a split personality.
In social situations I either say nothing at all or talk endlessly.
One of my sons has been very shy too. Been interesting helping him figure out ways to deal with it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I can walk into a room full of strangers. I can turn up to a social. I can do presentations & meetings & speeches.
2 things I struggle with
Karaoke
And being 1-1 with someone I like. I have 2 modes on that one.
A) hope that they make the first move
B) overcompensate and go for it - usually head butting them or falling over (or both) in the process.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *atnayCouple
over a year ago
STEVENAGE |
Im not shy in most circumstances. Work, socials and day to day life. I'm a naturist and an improviser too, so not embarrassed by my body or standing out per say either.
But if a hot guy gives me a flash of a smile or shows interest, I'm often like a rabbit between the headlights lol. Hence liking confident guys that will make the 1st move.
And as for speaking up about what I want in the bedroom (exception of hubby as know each other to well already), Yeah, I can go very coy and shy.
Need to work on this. Lol.
Nat from Jatnay
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm shy when it comes to photo's of me..  I suppose that's also a lack of confidence in that area  "
Im surprised at this after reading your profile name? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *atnayCouple
over a year ago
STEVENAGE |
"I can walk into a room full of strangers. I can turn up to a social. I can do presentations & meetings & speeches.
2 things I struggle with
Karaoke
And being 1-1 with someone I like. I have 2 modes on that one.
A) hope that they make the first move
B) overcompensate and go for it - usually head butting them or falling over (or both) in the process.
"
God you just described me lol.
Nat from Jatnay. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"My shyness is very much situation/person dependent. At a 1:1 social, I'm normally pretty relaxed, but would definitely be shy to walk into a big group of people I didn't know...I can do it when I have to though, and usually relax quite quickly.
I've not been to club, but I can imagine I'd be shy there. Maybe that's why I've never been!"
Weirdly I'm the opposite, at a group social I relax quite quickly, no-one is there for me, and it's just a group of people meeting up for a drink and a laugh.
1:1 1st meets I feel more pressure to be impressive, and catch the eye because of the expectation that comes with it. They're there to meet you, a you that they'd like to be interested in and maybe attracted to.
Typing that has made me realise, I need to get out of my own head. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *4bimMan
over a year ago
Farnborough Hampshire |
I can lead, fight, survive, win at personal cost and not fear death.
But she could freeze me on the spot, confuse me, get inside me. And wonder why I've not made a move.
Don't ask me why, she makes me shy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thank you all so much for your comments. I've read them all and really appreciate the sharing.
Its a weird thing isn't it. Shyness, anxiety, imposter syndrome, insecurity, fears. We all experience these things in one way or another. At times they completely stop us in our tracks and at others there's an internal struggle.
Yet, for so many of us who have experienced these things, we can all probably be a little surprised when others open up and say they have too.
Why do we assume that we are the only one feeling awkward?
I can deliver presentations and training at work, I can stand on a stage and sing,prance about in my underwear and even go down to tassels (because I'm being a character) but sometimes the idea of certain social situations or getting naked with someone I really like can fill me full of all of those fears.
To the point in the past where I've held back too much or I've gone the other way and there's some embarrassing story.
Its nice to read we are all in it together kind of. Maybe this will help someone feel a little braver as a result.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Anyone who meets me will say I’m confident and outgoing, but deep down I’m not arrogant enough to say that shyness or insecurity isn’t in my locker.
It’s more of an age thing though as the older you get the more you’re aware of time slipping away. So it gives you the ‘fuck it’ attitude if they don’t like or accept me it’s their loss.
Do I suffer from shyness ? Yes, but I won’t allow it to get in my way. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"It is possible to get me into a shy state.
A kiss can do it if I have the major feelies it can turn me into mush
There ain't many who have pulled it off though! "
Can I pull you off? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It is possible to get me into a shy state.
A kiss can do it if I have the major feelies it can turn me into mush
There ain't many who have pulled it off though!
Can I pull you off? "
Seems perfectly reasonable |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"It is possible to get me into a shy state.
A kiss can do it if I have the major feelies it can turn me into mush
There ain't many who have pulled it off though!
Can I pull you off?
Seems perfectly reasonable "
I'll meet you in the alley  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It is possible to get me into a shy state.
A kiss can do it if I have the major feelies it can turn me into mush
There ain't many who have pulled it off though!
Can I pull you off?
Seems perfectly reasonable
I'll meet you in the alley "
Behind the bins?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *stellaWoman
over a year ago
London |
I’m shy, but I recognise that it’s limiting and that confidence is more calming/enjoyable for others. People think I’m confident as a consequence. I’m shy when I feel exposed and not sure it’s safe to be me, but often when I desperately want it to be safe and I’m kinda just learning the lay of the land with someone. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"It is possible to get me into a shy state.
A kiss can do it if I have the major feelies it can turn me into mush
There ain't many who have pulled it off though!
Can I pull you off?
Seems perfectly reasonable
I'll meet you in the alley
Behind the bins? "
Obviously... have to hide as I'm shy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am unbelievably confident. I have no problem domming, having wank groups, group meets etc
Spending time with someone in the sense of getting to know them or dating them is a different kettle of fish. It would take a long time for anything physical to happen and although I would still be confident, I'd be very shy in the connection department |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yep, as you say OP, on here there is an element of confidence that i lack in person. I get on well after the first little while at a private meet but struggle in a more open setting like a munch (well that's what a social swingers meet at a pub/hired venue was called my way) and why I've yet to build up confidence to go to a swinging club as a single guy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
The first time on a nudest beach. I was told that it is normal and people don't look as everyone is naked. I saw guy just looking at me up and down smiling. I felt so shy I sat down and made myself small as possible. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
No, I've been told many times that I have sigma male qualities so what appears to be shyness is something completely different, I somply have no interest in people that I find toxic or false, this include social situations. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I am. I never used to be, I used to be amazing at feigning confidence and the life and soul of everything. Covid kinda killed that off, now I can be quite shy for a while.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
