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How comfortable are you...
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
with those you're talking to/fucking/seeing/dating (look, I'm trying to be inclusive) doing the same with others? Do you adopt a neutral stance or are you happy for them? Or even uncomfortable?
Are you able to communicate that/listen to the other person? Obviously depending on the dynamic - getting miffed and huffing after talking might be a bit odd but I'd like to keep this judgement free, as much as possible.
And no, this isn't about me. :D |
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"with those you're talking to/fucking/seeing/dating (look, I'm trying to be inclusive) doing the same with others? Do you adopt a neutral stance or are you happy for them? Or even uncomfortable?
Are you able to communicate that/listen to the other person? Obviously depending on the dynamic - getting miffed and huffing after talking might be a bit odd but I'd like to keep this judgement free, as much as possible.
And no, this isn't about me. :D"
be yourself and let others decide |
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By *red333Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"with those you're talking to/fucking/seeing/dating (look, I'm trying to be inclusive) doing the same with others? Do you adopt a neutral stance or are you happy for them? Or even uncomfortable?
Are you able to communicate that/listen to the other person? Obviously depending on the dynamic - getting miffed and huffing after talking might be a bit odd but I'd like to keep this judgement free, as much as possible.
And no, this isn't about me. :D"
all my conversations are relaxed and stress free  |
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I expect partners to be seeing and communicating with others, where there's no formal agreement to anything different.
OK, if you meet someone who's exceptionally good with you, you'd perhaps like a little more frequently but I so rarely have much free time that I'm typically the difficult one. |
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By *aggonerMan
over a year ago
for a penny |
It depends entirely on who you’re talking to, the circumstances, what it’s about, etc.
it might be different if you’re close to someone but generally people aren’t really interested in hearing others winge, especially about things that don’t directly concern them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am a big soft hearted sap and sometimes that means I do get little prangs of jealousy but ultimately, I think its normal. It's just when you get consumed with it that there's a problem. And mostly that's likely because you've not been able to say how you feel.
We are all on here for our own reasons and it's not my place to stand in the way of that for anyone else.
I'm always happy enough to say if something was upsetting me though because being able to talk about that is important.
Respect is important and that has to work both ways so I'd want them to feel able to be honest with me too.
Without communication and mutual respect can you really have great sex? |
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"We fully embrace the swinging lifestyle so never any issues or jealousy. It's all about mutual pleasure and it's a great way to live."
Same here, though we have a social tomorrow and I just feel really nervous and I'm usually ok with everything. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say I don’t always like being told about it because it feels braggy or sometimes feels inconsiderate of the time we have together or relationship we have. But then actually fucking or dating or loving other people, I’m happy for them because it’s natural. But I think naturally I like reassurance about my space in their lives and always always give people reassurance about their place in my life and them being special and my feelings for them not being related to my feelings for anyone else. |
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By *ack688Man
over a year ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
Very happy, it’s the ideal scenario really, everyone being open and honest about seeing multiple people and each of you cheering the other on and happy for the fun they are getting to have. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"With regards to people on here? Crack on and live you best life.
With partners there’s been plenty of issues tbh. "
Oh it's not just about people on here - more a general thing rather than Fab focused.
I like crack on and live your best life as a punchy soundbite - might borrow that. Sorry to read about the issues, it's pretty wank. |
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If anything, I would encourage them to explore with others (safely).
I want honest and open communication. No huffing, stressing or feeling bad.
Just explaining your viewpoint, undrstanding anothers, and working through a solution, comprimise, agreeing that its not going to happen or, simply ending things without blame, anger etc. |
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I like my partners to have other partners. I like hearing about their joys and fun things and seeing them happy. For just fucking, I'm very happy to see that, but I can feel a bit weird when it comes to seeing them have sex with someone else they have a proper relationship with rather than it just being some happy hedonism. |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"With regards to people on here? Crack on and live you best life.
With partners there’s been plenty of issues tbh.
Oh it's not just about people on here - more a general thing rather than Fab focused.
I like crack on and live your best life as a punchy soundbite - might borrow that. Sorry to read about the issues, it's pretty wank."
Thanks matey, but I grew massively as an individual so defo wins.  |
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The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles |
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I've had a lot of experience sharing in intimate relationships, it's nearly always compersion for me now. If I like someone I want them to be happy.
Some keep their cards close to their chest about it- others are more open.
If we are just talking and it isn't mentioned - I am unlikely to pay much attention to it.
If it is I am always down for having those open conversations. |
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"with those you're talking to/fucking/seeing/dating (look, I'm trying to be inclusive) doing the same with others? Do you adopt a neutral stance or are you happy for them? Or even uncomfortable?
Are you able to communicate that/listen to the other person? Obviously depending on the dynamic - getting miffed and huffing after talking might be a bit odd but I'd like to keep this judgement free, as much as possible.
And no, this isn't about me. :D"
I'm in a long term relationship and totally happy with her talking to/ fucking/seeing other people though I'd draw the line at dating. I suspect, despite protestations to contrary, she is only happy with me talking to others without her there and even that gets a snappy response on occasion. As for the people we meet, beyond concerns for sexual health, neither of us care in the slightest. |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles"
If someone we meets is married that’s their issue, not ours. It’s for them to communicate.
That said we prefer single, or poly/enm folks. |
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"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
If someone we meets is married that’s their issue, not ours. It’s for them to communicate.
That said we prefer single, or poly/enm folks."
I won't go down this rabbit hole. I just find it so hypocritical when words like respect are used. |
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"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles"
Is this about specific people who've responded or just a general some people say they are vegans and most people eat meat, so they're all hypocrites? |
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"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles"
I guess there's 3 possible answers to that.
1) The people talking about respect and communication aren't the ones cheating or seeing married people
2) Those who are cheating or seeing married people only care about respect and communication in one area of their lives, that is if they're cheating then the person they are cheating with knows about their partner or if they're seeing a cheater they see that as none of their business so long as they show respect to their own partner
3) They're nice words to type and portray how they want others to view them even if it isn't how they behave. |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
If someone we meets is married that’s their issue, not ours. It’s for them to communicate.
That said we prefer single, or poly/enm folks.
I won't go down this rabbit hole. I just find it so hypocritical when words like respect are used."
You’re entitled to your opinion of course, but if the person we’re meeting shows respect towards us that’s what matters. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"It depends entirely on who you’re talking to, the circumstances, what it’s about, etc.
it might be different if you’re close to someone but generally people aren’t really interested in hearing others winge, especially about things that don’t directly concern them. "
I'm not sure how whinging comes into it. Well, where it does.
Yes, it's very much situational. If a partner was unhappy, I'd have a lot of time to listen to them. Someone I'd spoken to a handful of times? I'd listen politely but also find it a bit much. |
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I'm.just me a bit if a dick, accept me for me or fuck off outta my arena...I can talk comfortably to to anyone, from a top CEO to the street homeless who are struggling, I learn from both, I cam also pass on my experience to both |
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"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
If someone we meets is married that’s their issue, not ours. It’s for them to communicate.
That said we prefer single, or poly/enm folks.
I won't go down this rabbit hole. I just find it so hypocritical when words like respect are used."
There is nothing in the word respect that implies it needs to be universal. It is quite easy to respect your partner but not an unknown partner of someone you're fucking. I'm not saying that as a moral stance, just that believing it is hypocritical isn't logical. |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
If someone we meets is married that’s their issue, not ours. It’s for them to communicate.
That said we prefer single, or poly/enm folks.
I won't go down this rabbit hole. I just find it so hypocritical when words like respect are used.
There is nothing in the word respect that implies it needs to be universal. It is quite easy to respect your partner but not an unknown partner of someone you're fucking. I'm not saying that as a moral stance, just that believing it is hypocritical isn't logical."
I see you’re also a person that has a logical brain, it’s both a blessing and a curse.  |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I am a big soft hearted sap and sometimes that means I do get little prangs of jealousy but ultimately, I think its normal. It's just when you get consumed with it that there's a problem. And mostly that's likely because you've not been able to say how you feel.
We are all on here for our own reasons and it's not my place to stand in the way of that for anyone else.
I'm always happy enough to say if something was upsetting me though because being able to talk about that is important.
Respect is important and that has to work both ways so I'd want them to feel able to be honest with me too.
Without communication and mutual respect can you really have great sex? "
I think you can. You as in the general you - sometimes you just need that chemistry and lust and that's a person sorted. Happy.
But for me, personally? I'm similar to you in how I view it. |
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Totally comfortable with it. As my self confidence grew so did my openness.
I'm in a very secure relationship but have no issue with my partner playing with whoever she wants to. She's the same with me.
You're not going to be everything to everyone. If she wants to go and sleep with a very masculine guy then enjoy! If she wants to go and sleep with a woman then great. |
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"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
If someone we meets is married that’s their issue, not ours. It’s for them to communicate.
That said we prefer single, or poly/enm folks.
I won't go down this rabbit hole. I just find it so hypocritical when words like respect are used.
There is nothing in the word respect that implies it needs to be universal. It is quite easy to respect your partner but not an unknown partner of someone you're fucking. I'm not saying that as a moral stance, just that believing it is hypocritical isn't logical.
I see you’re also a person that has a logical brain, it’s both a blessing and a curse. "
It mostly gets me in trouble. Saying if you believe x that implies y doesn't always go down well  |
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"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
If someone we meets is married that’s their issue, not ours. It’s for them to communicate.
That said we prefer single, or poly/enm folks.
I won't go down this rabbit hole. I just find it so hypocritical when words like respect are used.
There is nothing in the word respect that implies it needs to be universal. It is quite easy to respect your partner but not an unknown partner of someone you're fucking. I'm not saying that as a moral stance, just that believing it is hypocritical isn't logical.
I see you’re also a person that has a logical brain, it’s both a blessing and a curse.
It mostly gets me in trouble. Saying if you believe x that implies y doesn't always go down well "
Y goes all the way down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends, if a believe the bulls… stuff they tell me. 
It’s all about honesty, I replay what I always say when I’m talking to people about stuff (I mean conversations about sensitive subjects that have the power to hurt or bring joy!) I can deal with the truth, I’m not dealing with lies, because I’m obviously not reacting to what ACTUALLY going on.
On here, I can assume a lot, which helps, but when I know, I can then have a much more comfortable relationship with them. I’m talking to lots of people, so why wouldn’t I be happy for them to talk with others.
But if I get the impression it’s more of an exclusive thing… I’d need to find a way to feel comfortable, as I’m sure I’d want them to feel the same.
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"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
Is this about specific people who've responded or just a general some people say they are vegans and most people eat meat, so they're all hypocrites?"
Not naming anyone. A general observation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
Is this about specific people who've responded or just a general some people say they are vegans and most people eat meat, so they're all hypocrites?
Not naming anyone. A general observation."
Drama. I LOVE drama  |
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I mean it depends on the dynamic ... But with partners..I want them to be happy and have fun times. I'm secure enough in our dynamic that I don't see their engagement in whatever form with others a threat to what we have.
It helps im not naturally jealous... although not totally immune to it. Ultimately I know it's hypocritical, and I know what our importance is to eachother. So if it surfaces , it's how you deal with it. |
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"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
If someone we meets is married that’s their issue, not ours. It’s for them to communicate.
That said we prefer single, or poly/enm folks.
I won't go down this rabbit hole. I just find it so hypocritical when words like respect are used.
You’re entitled to your opinion of course, but if the person we’re meeting shows respect towards us that’s what matters."
Yes i am, as are you. I just think if you can't respect your wife/husband/partner...then i would not think of said person being capable of respect at all |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
If someone we meets is married that’s their issue, not ours. It’s for them to communicate.
That said we prefer single, or poly/enm folks.
I won't go down this rabbit hole. I just find it so hypocritical when words like respect are used.
You’re entitled to your opinion of course, but if the person we’re meeting shows respect towards us that’s what matters.
Yes i am, as are you. I just think if you can't respect your wife/husband/partner...then i would not think of said person being capable of respect at all"
So us playing with married peeps is ok? Sorry you’re not being very clear is all. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
If someone we meets is married that’s their issue, not ours. It’s for them to communicate.
That said we prefer single, or poly/enm folks.
I won't go down this rabbit hole. I just find it so hypocritical when words like respect are used.
You’re entitled to your opinion of course, but if the person we’re meeting shows respect towards us that’s what matters.
Yes i am, as are you. I just think if you can't respect your wife/husband/partner...then i would not think of said person being capable of respect at all"
But who are these people on this thread who aren't showing respect to their partner? It's kind of a rather big tangential leap that I'm not quite following. Perhaps I'm being slow today. |
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"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
If someone we meets is married that’s their issue, not ours. It’s for them to communicate.
That said we prefer single, or poly/enm folks.
I won't go down this rabbit hole. I just find it so hypocritical when words like respect are used.
You’re entitled to your opinion of course, but if the person we’re meeting shows respect towards us that’s what matters.
Yes i am, as are you. I just think if you can't respect your wife/husband/partner...then i would not think of said person being capable of respect at all
So us playing with married peeps is ok? Sorry you’re not being very clear is all."
Thats up to you of course isn't it. |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
If someone we meets is married that’s their issue, not ours. It’s for them to communicate.
That said we prefer single, or poly/enm folks.
I won't go down this rabbit hole. I just find it so hypocritical when words like respect are used.
You’re entitled to your opinion of course, but if the person we’re meeting shows respect towards us that’s what matters.
Yes i am, as are you. I just think if you can't respect your wife/husband/partner...then i would not think of said person being capable of respect at all
But who are these people on this thread who aren't showing respect to their partner? It's kind of a rather big tangential leap that I'm not quite following. Perhaps I'm being slow today."
That’s where I’m lost. |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
If someone we meets is married that’s their issue, not ours. It’s for them to communicate.
That said we prefer single, or poly/enm folks.
I won't go down this rabbit hole. I just find it so hypocritical when words like respect are used.
You’re entitled to your opinion of course, but if the person we’re meeting shows respect towards us that’s what matters.
Yes i am, as are you. I just think if you can't respect your wife/husband/partner...then i would not think of said person being capable of respect at all
So us playing with married peeps is ok? Sorry you’re not being very clear is all.
Thats up to you of course isn't it. "
But do you think it’s disrespectful/hypocritical to use your words? |
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"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
If someone we meets is married that’s their issue, not ours. It’s for them to communicate.
That said we prefer single, or poly/enm folks.
I won't go down this rabbit hole. I just find it so hypocritical when words like respect are used.
You’re entitled to your opinion of course, but if the person we’re meeting shows respect towards us that’s what matters.
Yes i am, as are you. I just think if you can't respect your wife/husband/partner...then i would not think of said person being capable of respect at all
But who are these people on this thread who aren't showing respect to their partner? It's kind of a rather big tangential leap that I'm not quite following. Perhaps I'm being slow today."
Its a general observation. |
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"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
If someone we meets is married that’s their issue, not ours. It’s for them to communicate.
That said we prefer single, or poly/enm folks.
I won't go down this rabbit hole. I just find it so hypocritical when words like respect are used.
You’re entitled to your opinion of course, but if the person we’re meeting shows respect towards us that’s what matters.
Yes i am, as are you. I just think if you can't respect your wife/husband/partner...then i would not think of said person being capable of respect at all
So us playing with married peeps is ok? Sorry you’re not being very clear is all.
Thats up to you of course isn't it.
But do you think it’s disrespectful/hypocritical to use your words?"
I think its disrespectful to partner/husband/wife if unaware. Again, don't want to go down a rabbit hole. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I would say I don’t always like being told about it because it feels braggy or sometimes feels inconsiderate of the time we have together or relationship we have. But then actually fucking or dating or loving other people, I’m happy for them because it’s natural. But I think naturally I like reassurance about my space in their lives and always always give people reassurance about their place in my life and them being special and my feelings for them not being related to my feelings for anyone else. "
That's really lovely Pickle 
I think in terms of poly/enm dating, it's important for a person to still feel special/like a priority even when you're seeing others. It's easy to be intoxicated with New Relationship Energy but I think if someone really matters to you, heck if you love them still - you show that.
You can have space for different people in your life (although poly saturation is a real thing!) and still appreciate the value each person brings to you. |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
If someone we meets is married that’s their issue, not ours. It’s for them to communicate.
That said we prefer single, or poly/enm folks.
I won't go down this rabbit hole. I just find it so hypocritical when words like respect are used.
You’re entitled to your opinion of course, but if the person we’re meeting shows respect towards us that’s what matters.
Yes i am, as are you. I just think if you can't respect your wife/husband/partner...then i would not think of said person being capable of respect at all
So us playing with married peeps is ok? Sorry you’re not being very clear is all.
Thats up to you of course isn't it.
But do you think it’s disrespectful/hypocritical to use your words?
I think its disrespectful to partner/husband/wife if unaware. Again, don't want to go down a rabbit hole."
So you think we’re being disrespectful to the partner we’ve never met/spoken to? No rabbit hole, just intrigued is all. |
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"The thing is, i see words like communication, respect, compassion, jealousy etc etc running through this thread. But i find it so hypocritical that many are engaging with married men/women or are actually cheating themselves. Where is the respect, communication then? The mind boggles
If someone we meets is married that’s their issue, not ours. It’s for them to communicate.
That said we prefer single, or poly/enm folks.
I won't go down this rabbit hole. I just find it so hypocritical when words like respect are used.
You’re entitled to your opinion of course, but if the person we’re meeting shows respect towards us that’s what matters.
Yes i am, as are you. I just think if you can't respect your wife/husband/partner...then i would not think of said person being capable of respect at all
So us playing with married peeps is ok? Sorry you’re not being very clear is all.
Thats up to you of course isn't it.
But do you think it’s disrespectful/hypocritical to use your words?
I think its disrespectful to partner/husband/wife if unaware. Again, don't want to go down a rabbit hole.
So you think we’re being disrespectful to the partner we’ve never met/spoken to? No rabbit hole, just intrigued is all."
I'm really not going to comment on individual people, or specifics. I guess its just when i see honesty/ respect/communication and words such like...and there actually is none in certain dynamics, i do think its a bit hypocritical is all |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"I'm really not going to comment on individual people, or specifics. I guess its just when i see honesty/ respect/communication and words such like...and there actually is none in certain dynamics, i do think its a bit hypocritical is all"
You’re not making much sense I’m afraid, but fair enough matey. |
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"I'm really not going to comment on individual people, or specifics. I guess its just when i see honesty/ respect/communication and words such like...and there actually is none in certain dynamics, i do think its a bit hypocritical is all
You’re not making much sense I’m afraid, but fair enough matey. "
Apologies, my brain maybe not so logical. I know what i mean. Am not into pointing fingers... |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"I'm really not going to comment on individual people, or specifics. I guess its just when i see honesty/ respect/communication and words such like...and there actually is none in certain dynamics, i do think its a bit hypocritical is all
You’re not making much sense I’m afraid, but fair enough matey.
Apologies, my brain maybe not so logical. I know what i mean. Am not into pointing fingers..."
All good was just genuinely intrigued. It’s good to get other peoples perceptions on things. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"My compersion loves it and actively encourages them to do it as well "
Compersion really suited you as a username. Actively encouraging is lovely, if it brings you both joy (which I'm sure it does). |
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I’m not here on Fab for exclusive relationships, whether they’re sexual, romantic, just friendship, or any variation along that spectrum.
But I’ve been thinking about this recently because I’m lucky enough to have found someone special here and for us to be pretty damn close. Even then, I still don’t want exclusivity for either of us. What I want is for us both to embrace our mutual love of sex and everything around it. Including other people.
I might feel jealousy while she’s with someone else, or meeting a couple without me. But that’s okay. It’s nothing compared to the pride and pleasure I get from seeing her embracing and indulging her sexuality. I want her to enjoy herself. As much as possible.
And if she wants to tell me all about it afterwards, maybe while we’re in bed and she’s slowly stroking my cock or something … then I’m going to feel like we’re sharing these experiences and letting them bring us even closer together.
(Sheesh. Maybe this was a bit of an overshare. Ah well. Fuck it. ‘Post message’.) |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I’m not here on Fab for exclusive relationships, whether they’re sexual, romantic, just friendship, or any variation along that spectrum.
But I’ve been thinking about this recently because I’m lucky enough to have found someone special here and for us to be pretty damn close. Even then, I still don’t want exclusivity for either of us. What I want is for us both to embrace our mutual love of sex and everything around it. Including other people.
I might feel jealousy while she’s with someone else, or meeting a couple without me. But that’s okay. It’s nothing compared to the pride and pleasure I get from seeing her embracing and indulging her sexuality. I want her to enjoy herself. As much as possible.
And if she wants to tell me all about it afterwards, maybe while we’re in bed and she’s slowly stroking my cock or something … then I’m going to feel like we’re sharing these experiences and letting them bring us even closer together.
(Sheesh. Maybe this was a bit of an overshare. Ah well. Fuck it. ‘Post message’.)"
Excuse the language - what the fuck is an exclusive just friendship thing? I've never heard of that. :D
It's an overshare but sod it - if it brings you happiness, the people you're meeting are happy with being mutual wank fodder later? Go for it - sex is fun. Wonderful even. If it brings two people closer together, happiness in seeing another embracing theirs, I'm all for it. |
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As long as your honest about what you want…
I’m 100%, Absolutely clear I will be doing whatever I want whenever I want with men I have sex with, or club with. And expect the same.
I do have an expectation of standards and hygiene.
And if I’m dating, I’m not interested in swinging and wouldn’t date someone who was. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South |
They can do what they want, but I don’t want or need to hear about it. And also don’t make out like I’m the best thing to happen to your cock if you’re seeing others.
There has to be some distance. So there is a line drawn in the (imaginary) sand, for me. Mostly to protect myself and my feelings.
I’m not one to be ok and happy if you tell me you’re shagging about and give me all the details. But if you tell me and don’t harp on about it, I can live with it. |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
It's an interesting one reading all the responses really. I don't have a problem with someone I'm with seeing being with other people as it's not my place to stop their happiness.
Would I want to hear details about it?Possibly not but I think that comes down more to my head goblin 'comparison the thief of joy'
I would hate to think they are talking about 'my performance' with someone else and I didn't measure up if that makes any sense. My brain is brained out for the day.
Ultimately I just want people I know and care about to have all the fun and joy they can in life - we're not here for long  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"….
Would I want to hear details about it?Possibly not but I think that comes down more to my head goblin 'comparison the thief of joy'
I would hate to think they are talking about 'my performance' with someone else….."
That’s it right there.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When I first started all this I did get massive pangs of jealousy but also had the best time, I guess the mix of adrenaline, hormones or whatever made for great chemistry.
I realised it wasn’t a healthy way to be feeling so managed to rein it in & I don’t care what anyone else does now but the intensity & butterflies are not the same, which is a shame.
Aware now that I’m rambling |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"When I first started all this I did get massive pangs of jealousy but also had the best time, I guess the mix of adrenaline, hormones or whatever made for great chemistry.
I realised it wasn’t a healthy way to be feeling so managed to rein it in & I don’t care what anyone else does now but the intensity & butterflies are not the same, which is a shame.
Aware now that I’m rambling "
That’s exactly how I felt to start too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Me & the OH both have bed partners outside of the relationship
Our take on it is that we know it is on the cards, it isn't taboo, but neither wants to hear about it from the other either
In other words, do it if you want, but I don't need or want to know
I don't want any emotional connection with those I meet for sex and am quite rigid with that
I rarely meet the same person twice
Hence meeting other blokes makes it much easier for me on here
I doubt that if I wanted meets purely with females I would get anywhere |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me & the OH both have bed partners outside of the relationship
Our take on it is that we know it is on the cards, it isn't taboo, but neither wants to hear about it from the other either
In other words, do it if you want, but I don't need or want to know
I don't want any emotional connection with those I meet for sex and am quite rigid with that
I rarely meet the same person twice
Hence meeting other blokes makes it much easier for me on here
I doubt that if I wanted meets purely with females I would get anywhere"
I guess I should also say that we do sometimes play together with others, but what we find attractive is so far apart that it there are very few that tick both our boxes |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
It depends on the person and the agreement we have.
I'm very open, and I find it quite easy to have the "hard" conversations, because honesty is important to me. So as long as we have that between us, everything else can be dealt with.
I have brain goblins, I don't think I have ever tried to hide that, here on the forum or in private, and there are many, many times when they give me pause, or cause me to start comparing myself to someone else. And the resultant feeling can initially come across (when I try and explain it) as jealousy, rather than inadequacy. But this is where open and honest communication comes in, and is so important. It stops misunderstandings and stops the brain goblins being able to settle in and make camp.
I'm complicated, but I like to try and make things as simple as possible for those around me. And if I feel that a situation may be too difficult or cause someone else pain or heartache, I will always extract myself from it. |
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If we're not actually dating, what they do with whoever they see is nothing to do with me, they can crack on. Hearing about it wouldn't do anything for me, but it wouldn't bother me either. It's all good. The only exception is that I'd feel weird about them meeting an ex of mine.
If we were dating, I'd want to be kept in the loop. I have a few rules in an open relationship, full disclosure being one; it's much harder for anyone to get jealous or paranoid if we both know everything going on.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When I first started all this I did get massive pangs of jealousy but also had the best time, I guess the mix of adrenaline, hormones or whatever made for great chemistry.
I realised it wasn’t a healthy way to be feeling so managed to rein it in & I don’t care what anyone else does now but the intensity & butterflies are not the same, which is a shame.
Aware now that I’m rambling
That’s exactly how I felt to start too. "
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"with those you're talking to/fucking/seeing/dating doing the same with others?"
Talking to/ fucking/ meets - couldn't care less if they're doing the same with multiple others, I assume they are.
Dating as in official, public knowledge, not just a few dates to see how it goes - I'm not poly so I wanna be the only one they're dating. And I'll communicate that to them. |
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