FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Tell me something, boy
Tell me something, boy
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Men, tell us about the last time you had a good conversation about your feelings and who was it with?
It’s tough opening up sometimes, do you do it often?
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m lucky that I have my wife. If I’m feeling down I can open up and talk to her. Before her I was really bad at bottling everything up and exploding in a fit of rage every so often but I can’t even remember the last time I did that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I only tell people superficial things about me.
People are not to be trusted with feelings."
this ....I've been talking to myself since 2018.... can't say it works but the alternative has been proven to be worse several times over. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
My good lady, my better half...we talk about our feelings any time there is an obvious need to.
It took us a lifetime, almost, but we found each other and we can trust each other with our feelings which, by the sounds of it, is absolutely priceless.
Mr
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aggonerMan
over a year ago
for a penny |
I don’t know anyone who is genuinely interested in other peoples’ problems. At best you get a polite “poor you” then move on.
This is making me look pathetic but I’m OK with it, I’m just stating the case.
If I want to wallow, I could always post a thread saying I’m leaving fab. That seems to work. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"I don’t know anyone who is genuinely interested in other peoples’ problems. At best you get a polite “poor you” then move on.
This is making me look pathetic but I’m OK with it, I’m just stating the case.
If I want to wallow, I could always post a thread saying I’m leaving fab. That seems to work. "
You’re in the right place bud. Plenty on here are massive empaths. More than welcome to ping a message if want/need to chat. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don’t know anyone who is genuinely interested in other peoples’ problems. At best you get a polite “poor you” then move on.
This is making me look pathetic but I’m OK with it, I’m just stating the case.
If I want to wallow, I could always post a thread saying I’m leaving fab. That seems to work. "
No, not really the way. Some people do care and certainly here too from personal experience. I also consider myself to be someone who cares so again as others said, always happy to listen.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes too often but better to talk to people than let it fester and act on them
Fortunately have some close friends "
Always better to get it out than let it fester. I’m glad you have close friends but don’t ever feel like you talk about feelings too much |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I’m lucky that I have my wife. If I’m feeling down I can open up and talk to her. Before her I was really bad at bottling everything up and exploding in a fit of rage every so often but I can’t even remember the last time I did that."
Partners are great. Because they see the real us. And love us for it. I’m glad you have each other |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Years, absolutely years, I moved to Scotland from London and seem to have isolated myself, I need to fix that  "
Get in contact with an old friend!
And if you’re ever in London I’ll buy you a drink and listen |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Fortunate to have several female friends that i talk to A LOT. one who I will share any emotion I am having with, she is the sweetest person in the whole world."
God it’s so important to have friends like this. Friends that you can be your whole self with. So beautiful you have that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m lucky that I have my wife. If I’m feeling down I can open up and talk to her. Before her I was really bad at bottling everything up and exploding in a fit of rage every so often but I can’t even remember the last time I did that.
Partners are great. Because they see the real us. And love us for it. I’m glad you have each other "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Years, absolutely years, I moved to Scotland from London and seem to have isolated myself, I need to fix that
Get in contact with an old friend!
And if you’re ever in London I’ll buy you a drink and listen "
All day sesh ???  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Years, absolutely years, I moved to Scotland from London and seem to have isolated myself, I need to fix that
Get in contact with an old friend!
And if you’re ever in London I’ll buy you a drink and listen
All day sesh ??? "
I’m down! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This morning with my boss. It was about things I don't like at work but we both know that both of us genuinely want things to be better.
We can have proper, grown up, challenging chats about how we feel, which is a great working relationship. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Years, absolutely years, I moved to Scotland from London and seem to have isolated myself, I need to fix that
Get in contact with an old friend!
And if you’re ever in London I’ll buy you a drink and listen
All day sesh ???
I’m down! "
Boys social!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Today for me and unusually for me on here but some awesome individuals to talk too. Thank you. "
Gorgeous! I’m so glad you’ve found the good eggs on here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Years, absolutely years, I moved to Scotland from London and seem to have isolated myself, I need to fix that
Get in contact with an old friend!
And if you’re ever in London I’ll buy you a drink and listen
All day sesh ???
I’m down!
Boys social!!"
Get organised 
I'm on my way |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I only tell people superficial things about me.
People are not to be trusted with feelings. this ....I've been talking to myself since 2018.... can't say it works but the alternative has been proven to be worse several times over."
I also talk to a therapist and I personally think everyone should do therapy even just to be able to talk to someone! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"My good lady, my better half...we talk about our feelings any time there is an obvious need to.
It took us a lifetime, almost, but we found each other and we can trust each other with our feelings which, by the sounds of it, is absolutely priceless.
Mr
"
Goodness! So beautiful. It’s honestly so special having someone to be yourself with especially if that person is your partner |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"I only tell people superficial things about me.
People are not to be trusted with feelings. this ....I've been talking to myself since 2018.... can't say it works but the alternative has been proven to be worse several times over.
I also talk to a therapist and I personally think everyone should do therapy even just to be able to talk to someone! "
A good analogy is the gym. We go to get fit/healthy/strong. We often don’t wait till we’re injured/broken.
Should treat your mental health the same way imo. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Thank you for this thread. I think it's so important to be able to confide in others and I know men often struggle with this. I have 3 sons and I've seen first hand how much pressure there is for men to just not talk about how they feel. It makes me sad.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don’t have friends that I value enough to open up to. So I keep my troubles to myself generally. "
Not always the best way, speaking from experience. For me, I value my friends and always there for them but don't find it easy to open up myself. Most of the time I feel I can't pile anything else on them when they have their own problems |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I only tell people superficial things about me.
People are not to be trusted with feelings. this ....I've been talking to myself since 2018.... can't say it works but the alternative has been proven to be worse several times over.
I also talk to a therapist and I personally think everyone should do therapy even just to be able to talk to someone!
A good analogy is the gym. We go to get fit/healthy/strong. We often don’t wait till we’re injured/broken.
Should treat your mental health the same way imo."
Agree |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I don’t know anyone who is genuinely interested in other peoples’ problems. At best you get a polite “poor you” then move on.
This is making me look pathetic but I’m OK with it, I’m just stating the case.
If I want to wallow, I could always post a thread saying I’m leaving fab. That seems to work. "
Feeling things isn’t pathetic. It’s nice and it’s good to feel things. Even on fab, we’re more loved than we think |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"I only tell people superficial things about me.
People are not to be trusted with feelings. this ....I've been talking to myself since 2018.... can't say it works but the alternative has been proven to be worse several times over.
I also talk to a therapist and I personally think everyone should do therapy even just to be able to talk to someone!
A good analogy is the gym. We go to get fit/healthy/strong. We often don’t wait till we’re injured/broken.
Should treat your mental health the same way imo.
Agree"
Holyyyyyyyy shit balls we agree on something!!! It’s a miracle!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *aggonerMan
over a year ago
for a penny |
"I don’t know anyone who is genuinely interested in other peoples’ problems. At best you get a polite “poor you” then move on.
This is making me look pathetic but I’m OK with it, I’m just stating the case.
If I want to wallow, I could always post a thread saying I’m leaving fab. That seems to work.
You’re in the right place bud. Plenty on here are massive empaths. More than welcome to ping a message if want/need to chat. "
I don’t know you so I may be doing you a great disservice, but why would you be interested in problems of people you don’t know?
In my estimation most people on fab are very superficial and that’s fine: that’s the nature of fab. So this hardly seems the place to bear your soul and expect solace. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"This morning with my boss. It was about things I don't like at work but we both know that both of us genuinely want things to be better.
We can have proper, grown up, challenging chats about how we feel, which is a great working relationship."
So so important I think. I am so glad you have a manager like that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I only tell people superficial things about me.
People are not to be trusted with feelings. this ....I've been talking to myself since 2018.... can't say it works but the alternative has been proven to be worse several times over.
I also talk to a therapist and I personally think everyone should do therapy even just to be able to talk to someone!
A good analogy is the gym. We go to get fit/healthy/strong. We often don’t wait till we’re injured/broken.
Should treat your mental health the same way imo.
Agree
Holyyyyyyyy shit balls we agree on something!!! It’s a miracle! "
I think we agree on many things probably. Just not a few things which are very important to me. Which is fine  disagreement is normal |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I don’t have friends that I value enough to open up to. So I keep my troubles to myself generally. "
Your beard looks familiar! Hmmm!
Anyway, it’s sad that you don’t feel like you can open up. I think opening up is so important. Please just try out with one person. I’ve found it so helpful and like a weight lifted! People are so willing to help! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Yesterday...with 3 people.
I am in touch with my feelings and I'm gonna make damn sure everybody else is as well "
I love it ! It’s like a beautiful square of feelings! Love that  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"I don’t know anyone who is genuinely interested in other peoples’ problems. At best you get a polite “poor you” then move on.
This is making me look pathetic but I’m OK with it, I’m just stating the case.
If I want to wallow, I could always post a thread saying I’m leaving fab. That seems to work.
You’re in the right place bud. Plenty on here are massive empaths. More than welcome to ping a message if want/need to chat.
I don’t know you so I may be doing you a great disservice, but why would you be interested in problems of people you don’t know?
In my estimation most people on fab are very superficial and that’s fine: that’s the nature of fab. So this hardly seems the place to bear your soul and expect solace. "
Because I’ve been where you are, come close to doing something stupid and have lost several friends.
Just because I don’t know doesn’t mean I can’t show empathy & compassion. You’re clearly not in a great place as you’re talking very negatively, but rest assured there are plenty of genuine, good humans on here that would be more than happy to chat. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"I only tell people superficial things about me.
People are not to be trusted with feelings. this ....I've been talking to myself since 2018.... can't say it works but the alternative has been proven to be worse several times over.
I also talk to a therapist and I personally think everyone should do therapy even just to be able to talk to someone!
A good analogy is the gym. We go to get fit/healthy/strong. We often don’t wait till we’re injured/broken.
Should treat your mental health the same way imo.
Agree
Holyyyyyyyy shit balls we agree on something!!! It’s a miracle!
I think we agree on many things probably. Just not a few things which are very important to me. Which is fine disagreement is normal"
High five to that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Quite often. Connection is very important and we dont value it enough perhaps.."
So right. But we should. I truly believe that people mostly want to help others where they can. And listening costs us very little most of the time so we’re happy to do at least that. So glad you open up often |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thank you for this thread. I think it's so important to be able to confide in others and I know men often struggle with this. I have 3 sons and I've seen first hand how much pressure there is for men to just not talk about how they feel. It makes me sad.
"
The pressure of being a young boy and now a man is heavy on the head. And it feels sometimes like even just being honest about being open can be hard. I think that even though or especially because I didn’t feel like I could be emotional growing up (I often was anyway) I want to make society an easier place for young boys now. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don’t have friends that I value enough to open up to. So I keep my troubles to myself generally.
Your beard looks familiar! Hmmm!
Anyway, it’s sad that you don’t feel like you can open up. I think opening up is so important. Please just try out with one person. I’ve found it so helpful and like a weight lifted! People are so willing to help! "
That’s all lovely in theory, but in practice for me….so much more difficult. I’ve always been a lone wolf type, and don’t have any real friends. The gym was my therapy up until a few months ago. Injury and circumstances have taken that away from me too. I do what I do best……suck it up, keep smiling, and crack on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
