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They/ Them
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"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? " It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example… You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport. Me: What time are you picking them up? You: They land at 5pm so not long after that. | |||
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"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they". I will not be compelled to do so either. "  | |||
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"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they". I will not be compelled to do so either. "Bang on | |||
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"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they". I will not be compelled to do so either.
Bang on"100%, pretend to be who you want but it's him/her. Nothing has changed & nothing will. Before anyone mentions "be kind", you mean "pretend". | |||
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"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example… You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport. Me: What time are you picking them up? You: They land at 5pm so not long after that. " This. | |||
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" 100%, pretend to be who you want but it's him/her. Nothing has changed & nothing will. Before anyone mentions "be kind", you mean "pretend"." Exactly | |||
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"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example… You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport. Me: What time are you picking them up? You: They land at 5pm so not long after that. " I believe you would pick him or her up when his or her plane arrives but you might use they if you don’t know the sex of the person that you are referring. | |||
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"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they". I will not be compelled to do so either. " I feel the same way, not everything society introduces we need to go along with like robots or sheep. We are human beings with our own views, beliefs and choices  | |||
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"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? " Can't link it because of forum rules, but the Oxford English Dictionary blog (yeah that's a thing!), written by a professor of English, points out that singular they has been in use in English since at least 1375. And if we're going to object to singular "they", we also need to object to singular "you" on the same grounds | |||
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"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? Can't link it because of forum rules, but the Oxford English Dictionary blog (yeah that's a thing!), written by a professor of English, points out that singular they has been in use in English since at least 1375. And if we're going to object to singular "they", we also need to object to singular "you" on the same grounds " 
Oh Swing | |||
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"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? Can't link it because of forum rules, but the Oxford English Dictionary blog (yeah that's a thing!), written by a professor of English, points out that singular they has been in use in English since at least 1375. And if we're going to object to singular "they", we also need to object to singular "you" on the same grounds " They knows it. | |||
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"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example… You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport. Me: What time are you picking them up? You: They land at 5pm so not long after that. " This. We already use them in every day language. They/them is probably the easiest pronoun change to make mentally over ze/zir etc. For all the people saying they will never use any pronouns other than he/her... I'm sure you'll take someone using alternative pronouns when speaking about or to you with zero fuss right? Or is it just *you* that should be able to do it and everyone has to respect your pronouns? | |||
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"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example… You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport. Me: What time are you picking them up? You: They land at 5pm so not long after that. " I guess its easier in context of how it would be used. In person I could say oooh id love to grab them tits… so it would be … them’s tits!’ Thanks for clearing this up for me!!  | |||
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"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they". I will not be compelled to do so either. I feel the same way, not everything society introduces we need to go along with like robots or sheep. We are human beings with our own views, beliefs and choices "Plus, English law does not allow "compelled speech". As long as I am not being derogatory I will address people how I see them. If their biology/appearance doesn't match the pronoun I will gladly use their name. Their real name. Funnily enough, it is just this POV that gained Jordan Peterson his notoriety. | |||
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"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example… You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport. Me: What time are you picking them up? You: They land at 5pm so not long after that. I guess its easier in context of how it would be used. In person I could say oooh id love to grab them tits… so it would be … them’s tits!’ Thanks for clearing this up for me!! "The possessive of them is their. | |||
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"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example… You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport. Me: What time are you picking them up? You: They land at 5pm so not long after that. I guess its easier in context of how it would be used. In person I could say oooh id love to grab them tits… so it would be … them’s tits!’ Thanks for clearing this up for me!! "Or their tits  | |||
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"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments. Whatta shocka "This is my shocked face | |||
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"I identify as a carrot " Please don't. All jokes aside it's the same argument that was used against gay marriage... "We can't let the gays get married - then they might want to marry dogs or Houses, or Kids... I know it sounds cute/funny/rediculous but it just really fans the flames and doesn't help anyone. | |||
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"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments. Whatta shocka "Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using. | |||
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"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example… You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport. Me: What time are you picking them up? You: They land at 5pm so not long after that. I guess its easier in context of how it would be used. In person I could say oooh id love to grab them tits… so it would be … them’s tits!’ Thanks for clearing this up for me!!
The possessive of them is their."I dont want to possess them - just want to borrow them | |||
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"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example… You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport. Me: What time are you picking them up? You: They land at 5pm so not long after that. I guess its easier in context of how it would be used. In person I could say oooh id love to grab them tits… so it would be … them’s tits!’ Thanks for clearing this up for me!!
The possessive of them is their.
I dont want to possess them - just want to borrow them "Possessive is the grammatical term. So his is the possessive of he I want to grab his tits | |||
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"In other news - this was a genuine question and its been answered - don’t let the thread descend into woke bashing or negativity if someone wants to be a toaster then they can be but as has been said society is a very big place and people will continue to use terms they are familiar with without intent to offend - heres an idea - lets just be tolerant. No one died! "The whole woke vs based bashing thing is massively frustrating. Media on both sides is a lot to blame. | |||
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"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments. Whatta shocka
Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using. "Just doesn’t feel like it’s going with the thread. Just projecting. The thread asked a question, what’s wrong with answering it? | |||
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"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they". I will not be compelled to do so either. "  | |||
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"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they". I will not be compelled to do so either.
Bang on
100%, pretend to be who you want but it's him/her. Nothing has changed & nothing will.
Before anyone mentions "be kind", you mean "pretend"."It’s wording like this from both sides that I think people get upset with. Show a little more empathy in your response. | |||
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"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example… You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport. Me: What time are you picking them up? You: They land at 5pm so not long after that. I guess its easier in context of how it would be used. In person I could say oooh id love to grab them tits… so it would be … them’s tits!’ Thanks for clearing this up for me!!
The possessive of them is their.
I dont want to possess them - just want to borrow them
Possessive is the grammatical term.
So his is the possessive of he
I want to grab his tits "Buy me a drink first xx | |||
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"I identify as a carrot " Must have taken you all night to think of this!!!! | |||
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"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments. Whatta shocka
Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using.
Just doesn’t feel like it’s going with the thread. Just projecting. The thread asked a question, what’s wrong with answering it? "The same can be said for others on both sides that have shared their opinion that doesn’t directly correlate to grammar, yours included.  | |||
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"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they". I will not be compelled to do so either.
Bang on
100%, pretend to be who you want but it's him/her. Nothing has changed & nothing will.
Before anyone mentions "be kind", you mean "pretend"." | |||
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""People can identify however they wish" "I will be misgendering them because I'm not a sheep" Stay classy fab "Who have you quoted? Stay classy. | |||
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"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others. I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose. I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well. " So you'd be ok if they started calling you she/her? | |||
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"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others. I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose. I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well. " But you just called them 'them'... | |||
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"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments. Whatta shocka
Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using. "Nobody has explained why they are not comfortable, though. How does it affect them? What difference does it make? The world has evolved. If someone says 'can you please use they, I am not comfortable being called she, she is not who I am' I don't see how it can hurt to respect that. It's not been a snap decision. FWIW I've not come across anyone who has corrected me, yet, so it's not as if its an every day occurrence | |||
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"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others. I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose. I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well. But you just called them 'them'..." There are a lot more than one of them.  | |||
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"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others. I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose. I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well. " Hate to break it to you, but you just used pronouns here | |||
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"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others. I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose. I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well. " Bravo -if I am reading this right I mean. So I read that as (in answer to my question above) you respect someones right to misgender you and will be happy to let them do it, in the way you'd misgender them? | |||
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"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others. I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose. I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well. So you'd be ok if they started calling you she/her? " That would be misgendering me. But they can call me what they wish, I know who I am and care little about pronouns. I would suggest they go to Specsavers though. | |||
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"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others. I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose. I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well. But you just called them 'them'... There are a lot more than one of them. "If you are referring to multiple people, then why would you use just one name? Where the pronoun is ambiguous, such loose grammatical construction will lead to confusion. | |||
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"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others. I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose. I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well. Hate to break it to you, but you just used pronouns here "How so, surely using they/them as a collective which is how it should be used? | |||
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"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments. Whatta shocka
Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using.
Nobody has explained why they are not comfortable, though. How does it affect them? What difference does it make?
The world has evolved. If someone says 'can you please use they, I am not comfortable being called she, she is not who I am' I don't see how it can hurt to respect that. It's not been a snap decision.
FWIW I've not come across anyone who has corrected me, yet, so it's not as if its an every day occurrence "Happy to give my genuine thoughts, but if I do I can almost guarantee it’ll kick off regardless of how I word it. More than happy if you wanted to message. | |||
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"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others. I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose. I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well. So you'd be ok if they started calling you she/her? " Wouldn’t bother me in the slightest and if it did I’d just leave them to it. | |||
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"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments. Whatta shocka
Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using.
Just doesn’t feel like it’s going with the thread. Just projecting. The thread asked a question, what’s wrong with answering it?
The same can be said for others on both sides that have shared their opinion that doesn’t directly correlate to grammar, yours included. "Yeah true. Anyways | |||
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"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others. I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose. I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well. So you'd be ok if they started calling you she/her? That would be misgendering me. But they can call me what they wish, I know who I am and care little about pronouns. I would suggest they go to Specsavers though. " That’s a fair response. | |||
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"People can identify how they wish, but I won't be calling anyone "them/they". I will not be compelled to do so either. " I'm with you on that one. | |||
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"It is very rare, when you use she/he in addressing someone in your presence, so I don't understand the use of they/them. " Clearly never been in any of my work meetings. The amount of times someone will say 'she was speaking', 'i think what they were trying to say was' etc etc. (Honestly a room full of neurodiverse nerds makes meetings either amazing or hell!) | |||
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"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments. Whatta shocka
Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using.
Just doesn’t feel like it’s going with the thread. Just projecting. The thread asked a question, what’s wrong with answering it?
The same can be said for others on both sides that have shared their opinion that doesn’t directly correlate to grammar, yours included.
Yeah true.
Anyways "I rest my case. | |||
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"It is very rare, when you use she/he in addressing someone in your presence, so I don't understand the use of they/them. Clearly never been in any of my work meetings. The amount of times someone will say 'she was speaking', 'i think what they were trying to say was' etc etc. (Honestly a room full of neurodiverse nerds makes meetings either amazing or hell!) " The ND meetings we have are always brilliant. They do tend to go over the allotted time by a fair old chunk though. | |||
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"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments. Whatta shocka
Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using.
Just doesn’t feel like it’s going with the thread. Just projecting. The thread asked a question, what’s wrong with answering it?
The same can be said for others on both sides that have shared their opinion that doesn’t directly correlate to grammar, yours included.
Yeah true.
Anyways
I rest my case. "I just don’t want to talk to you. Please just leave me alone lmao. | |||
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"If we're getting all grammarly we could introduce the royal 'we'. " A grammar thread might be fun | |||
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"I will not be doing so because I don't have to and I will not comply with the demands of others. I will call them by a name, sure. But I will not misgender them by calling them whatever label they choose. I do not dispute their right to do this and they should accept I have similar rights as well. So you'd be ok if they started calling you she/her? That would be misgendering me. But they can call me what they wish, I know who I am and care little about pronouns. I would suggest they go to Specsavers though. " You care so little about pronouns that you would refuse to use their preferred pronoun and purposefully misgender them because 'its my right' ...yeah that makes perfect sense | |||
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"OP has no issue other than something that has been cleared up. And yet so much projection about dislike for they/them pronouns in the comments. Whatta shocka
Nothing wrong with people saying it’s not for them. Can still offer the same compassion & empathy to differing genders without having to subscribe to pronouns they’re not comfortable using.
Just doesn’t feel like it’s going with the thread. Just projecting. The thread asked a question, what’s wrong with answering it?
The same can be said for others on both sides that have shared their opinion that doesn’t directly correlate to grammar, yours included.
Yeah true.
Anyways
I rest my case.
I just don’t want to talk to you.
Please just leave me alone lmao. "Then stop replying. | |||
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"So much intolerence from so many, its very sad. I am slightly older than a lot of you and I am bringing up my child to be respectful of other peoples choices, not ignore them." Absolutely treat people with respect but how someone identifies and even how some identify on any given day is their business and shouldnt be compelled upon anyone else. | |||
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"As an aside and back to the OPs original point... Using they/them has an undertone of multiple personality syndrome which doesn't help with people who have potentially bigoted attitudes. It can be misconstrued easily. On that basis I would imagine, in the same situation, I would possibly use something a little less so. And if I did...I would never expect anyone to know what it was immediately, nor would I labour the point. But it isn't important to me so I guess I don't know whatbi am talking about. " I'm not sure what dissociative identity disorder has to do with anything in this instance? They in the singular has a long pedigree. It might have become a culture war recently, but it goes back to before the onset of modern English. If people want to shit on the mentally ill as well as the gender diverse - well, it's a free country I suppose, and I can respond to them accordingly and choose with whom I associate or not. | |||
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"If we're getting all grammarly we could introduce the royal 'we'. A grammar thread might be fun" No full stop - stay behind after class.. with me and a bottle of wine.. you saucy minx!! | |||
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"If we're getting all grammarly we could introduce the royal 'we'. A grammar thread might be fun No full stop - stay behind after class.. with me and a bottle of wine.. you saucy minx!! "I'm more of a descriptivist than a prescriptivist  | |||
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"another one gone bad" If this was a meeting Id have put a stop after it went so far off topic … but I can’t  | |||
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"As an aside and back to the OPs original point... Using they/them has an undertone of multiple personality syndrome which doesn't help with people who have potentially bigoted attitudes. It can be misconstrued easily. On that basis I would imagine, in the same situation, I would possibly use something a little less so. And if I did...I would never expect anyone to know what it was immediately, nor would I labour the point. But it isn't important to me so I guess I don't know whatbi am talking about. I'm not sure what dissociative identity disorder has to do with anything in this instance? They in the singular has a long pedigree. It might have become a culture war recently, but it goes back to before the onset of modern English. If people want to shit on the mentally ill as well as the gender diverse - well, it's a free country I suppose, and I can respond to them accordingly and choose with whom I associate or not." All true. But the original, perfectly civil OP, was asking about this. If he was asking an honest question then those who are less accepting will do the same. I have heard some say that it points to mental illness. When you point out it's grammatically correct it doesn't really make a dent. In my job I deal with a lot of narrow-minded, often openly bigoted people. From this I think the other pronouns used do not trigger as readily. But I am talking observationally here so I may be wrong. | |||
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"another one gone bad If this was a meeting Id have put a stop after it went so far off topic … but I can’t "Was always going to happen given the topic, all us ND folk and how emotionally charged it is.
Personally think it’s a great topic that needs to be discussed more to help people ok the extremes of both sides try to align a little more. | |||
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"another one gone bad If this was a meeting Id have put a stop after it went so far off topic … but I can’t
Was always going to happen given the topic, all us ND folk and how emotionally charged it is.
Personally think it’s a great topic that needs to be discussed more to help people ok the extremes of both sides try to align a little more."Well in that case - you’re welcome xx | |||
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"It is very rare, when you use she/he in addressing someone in your presence, so I don't understand the use of they/them. " It's so that other people can have the opportunity to get offended on their behalf. A very popular hobby these days | |||
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"another one gone bad If this was a meeting Id have put a stop after it went so far off topic … but I can’t "Before it went off topic as these always do I started looking for some articles online to direct you to that I found interesting and explained they/them/non-binary 'stuff' without getting all academical. Not sure if one can paste links here though? | |||
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"As an aside and back to the OPs original point... Using they/them has an undertone of multiple personality syndrome which doesn't help with people who have potentially bigoted attitudes. It can be misconstrued easily. On that basis I would imagine, in the same situation, I would possibly use something a little less so. And if I did...I would never expect anyone to know what it was immediately, nor would I labour the point. But it isn't important to me so I guess I don't know whatbi am talking about. I'm not sure what dissociative identity disorder has to do with anything in this instance? They in the singular has a long pedigree. It might have become a culture war recently, but it goes back to before the onset of modern English. If people want to shit on the mentally ill as well as the gender diverse - well, it's a free country I suppose, and I can respond to them accordingly and choose with whom I associate or not. All true. But the original, perfectly civil OP, was asking about this. If he was asking an honest question then those who are less accepting will do the same. I have heard some say that it points to mental illness. When you point out it's grammatically correct it doesn't really make a dent. In my job I deal with a lot of narrow-minded, often openly bigoted people. From this I think the other pronouns used do not trigger as readily. But I am talking observationally here so I may be wrong. " I mean, you're the one who brought up the older and more problematic term for dissociative identity disorder... | |||
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"As an aside and back to the OPs original point... Using they/them has an undertone of multiple personality syndrome which doesn't help with people who have potentially bigoted attitudes. It can be misconstrued easily. On that basis I would imagine, in the same situation, I would possibly use something a little less so. And if I did...I would never expect anyone to know what it was immediately, nor would I labour the point. But it isn't important to me so I guess I don't know whatbi am talking about. I'm not sure what dissociative identity disorder has to do with anything in this instance? They in the singular has a long pedigree. It might have become a culture war recently, but it goes back to before the onset of modern English. If people want to shit on the mentally ill as well as the gender diverse - well, it's a free country I suppose, and I can respond to them accordingly and choose with whom I associate or not. All true. But the original, perfectly civil OP, was asking about this. If he was asking an honest question then those who are less accepting will do the same. I have heard some say that it points to mental illness. When you point out it's grammatically correct it doesn't really make a dent. In my job I deal with a lot of narrow-minded, often openly bigoted people. From this I think the other pronouns used do not trigger as readily. But I am talking observationally here so I may be wrong. " Those who talk about mental illness are generally talking about trans and non binary people. Which for me smarts. Yes I'm non binary. No I never used to feel comfortable in my own body. I was a 'tomboy' and 'unruly and unladylike' growing up. Now as an adult I have a good idea of the scientific reasons behind this. If you took a blood test and looked at my hormone levels... A doctor would assume I was male... My hormones, the very things that tell my body what to do and when to do it, think I'm male. My boobs and vagina make it look like I'm female. In reality I don't know that I fit either. But in all honesty I just wish someone, anyone, could have an idea what's going to happen to me when I'm *supposed* to hit the menopause... Cause even specialists can't answer that. But yeah. It's just a mental illness of not wanting to be my assigned at birth gender. | |||
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"It is very rare, when you use she/he in addressing someone in your presence, so I don't understand the use of they/them. Clearly never been in any of my work meetings. The amount of times someone will say 'she was speaking', 'i think what they were trying to say was' etc etc. (Honestly a room full of neurodiverse nerds makes meetings either amazing or hell!) " I would just use their name, most meetings are with people, I know or you are introduced. Otherwise I feel very rude not knowing someone's name and calling them a pronoun like she/he/it/them/they etc. | |||
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"As an aside and back to the OPs original point... Using they/them has an undertone of multiple personality syndrome which doesn't help with people who have potentially bigoted attitudes. It can be misconstrued easily. On that basis I would imagine, in the same situation, I would possibly use something a little less so. And if I did...I would never expect anyone to know what it was immediately, nor would I labour the point. But it isn't important to me so I guess I don't know whatbi am talking about. I'm not sure what dissociative identity disorder has to do with anything in this instance? They in the singular has a long pedigree. It might have become a culture war recently, but it goes back to before the onset of modern English. If people want to shit on the mentally ill as well as the gender diverse - well, it's a free country I suppose, and I can respond to them accordingly and choose with whom I associate or not. All true. But the original, perfectly civil OP, was asking about this. If he was asking an honest question then those who are less accepting will do the same. I have heard some say that it points to mental illness. When you point out it's grammatically correct it doesn't really make a dent. In my job I deal with a lot of narrow-minded, often openly bigoted people. From this I think the other pronouns used do not trigger as readily. But I am talking observationally here so I may be wrong. Those who talk about mental illness are generally talking about trans and non binary people. Which for me smarts. Yes I'm non binary. No I never used to feel comfortable in my own body. I was a 'tomboy' and 'unruly and unladylike' growing up. Now as an adult I have a good idea of the scientific reasons behind this. If you took a blood test and looked at my hormone levels... A doctor would assume I was male... My hormones, the very things that tell my body what to do and when to do it, think I'm male. My boobs and vagina make it look like I'm female. In reality I don't know that I fit either. But in all honesty I just wish someone, anyone, could have an idea what's going to happen to me when I'm *supposed* to hit the menopause... Cause even specialists can't answer that. But yeah. It's just a mental illness of not wanting to be my assigned at birth gender. " As I said previously. I have no issues with anything other than the "compelled speech" aspects of some of those in this area. It is a very personal thing for all those involved. I am not one of those so was remarking, observationally, upon those opinions I have heard expressed by different groups about pronouns and their use. Your experience sounds painful and nothing I would ever want anyone to suffer through. The doubts you have even now about physical change should not be there. That's where lobbying would help for research to investigate and explain...not define. | |||
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"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example… You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport. Me: What time are you picking them up? You: They land at 5pm so not long after that. " I believe you would pick him or her up when his or her plane arrives but you might use they if you don’t know the sex of the person that you are referring. | |||
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"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example… You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport. Me: What time are you picking them up? You: They land at 5pm so not long after that. I believe you would pick him or her up when his or her plane arrives but you might use they if you don’t know the sex of the person that you are referring. " They might. They may not. So their. | |||
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"So much intolerence from so many, its very sad. I am slightly older than a lot of you and I am bringing up my child to be respectful of other peoples choices, not ignore them." Is age relevant, I,m older than you. You are likely bringing your kid up to be dishonest as ultimately that's where pretend comes from so maybe consider the damage you are doing to him/her/it. . | |||
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"So much intolerence from so many, its very sad. I am slightly older than a lot of you and I am bringing up my child to be respectful of other peoples choices, not ignore them. Is age relevant, I,m older than you. You are likely bringing your kid up to be dishonest as ultimately that's where pretend comes from so maybe consider the damage you are doing to him/her/it. ." You’re really not helping with how aggressive you’re wording your replies. | |||
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"So much intolerence from so many, its very sad. I am slightly older than a lot of you and I am bringing up my child to be respectful of other peoples choices, not ignore them. Is age relevant, I,m older than you. You are likely bringing your kid up to be dishonest as ultimately that's where pretend comes from so maybe consider the damage you are doing to him/her/it. . You’re really not helping with how aggressive you’re wording your replies." Man up! | |||
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"So much intolerence from so many, its very sad. I am slightly older than a lot of you and I am bringing up my child to be respectful of other peoples choices, not ignore them. Is age relevant, I,m older than you. You are likely bringing your kid up to be dishonest as ultimately that's where pretend comes from so maybe consider the damage you are doing to him/her/it. ." No age is not relevant! I'm even older than u! But am tolerant and open to others preferences! And what a ridiculous thing to say! Said child will hopefully have understanding and empathy with their fellow human! Damage jeez!x | |||
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"This has been a wonderful read to find out who I would not wish to speak to "Ha ha yes me 2! My private note feature has worked overtime on this thread x | |||
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"Using terms like aggressive etc are deflection tactics used by people not able to comprehend a different point of view." Unless it is a aggressive comment?? | |||
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"I call them “abusers”. They need to stop reading badly-written nonsense written by abuse apologists like Judith Butler." Off to Google her.... | |||
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"This has been a wonderful read to find out who I would not wish to speak to "Always  | |||
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"So much intolerence from so many, its very sad. I am slightly older than a lot of you and I am bringing up my child to be respectful of other peoples choices, not ignore them. Is age relevant, I,m older than you. You are likely bringing your kid up to be dishonest as ultimately that's where pretend comes from so maybe consider the damage you are doing to him/her/it. ." I think age is relevant yes. Since the older generation are often more prejudiced. I was explaining that I am a little older, and yet Not prejudiced. These are learned behaviours, we aren't born with them. Hence having open Honest conversations with my child about these things. | |||
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"So much intolerence from so many, its very sad. I am slightly older than a lot of you and I am bringing up my child to be respectful of other peoples choices, not ignore them. Is age relevant, I,m older than you. You are likely bringing your kid up to be dishonest as ultimately that's where pretend comes from so maybe consider the damage you are doing to him/her/it. . No age is not relevant! I'm even older than u! But am tolerant and open to others preferences! And what a ridiculous thing to say! Said child will hopefully have understanding and empathy with their fellow human! Damage jeez!x" Honestly thank you for saying it. I have this debate every week with my nan (mainly because i think she forgets we have it practically 52 weeks a year for the last few but thats a different story) people can be tolerant of people if they choose to be. No ones saying you have to like it but just be kind the world would be so much of a nicer place. | |||
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"This has been a wonderful read to find out who I would not wish to speak to "Yes, it easy to assess someone by reading, and possibly misintereting, a few posts on a thread. This is how bubbles form. Hear something you don't like or agree with, block and find someone who (apparently) does. I am all for a free exchange of ideas but completely understand if others aren't. | |||
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"Using terms like aggressive etc are deflection tactics used by people not able to comprehend a different point of view. Unless it is a aggressive comment??" Have you read the definition of aggressive, using these trendy terms don't change their meaning. Nothing was aggressive, it was a clear response to a post in my opiwhich is as valid as the original posters but the predictable 'pile on' occurs by bleeding hearts. | |||
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"Using terms like aggressive etc are deflection tactics used by people not able to comprehend a different point of view." Ermm you’re clearly not a regular here, or would understand just how daft that comment is. | |||
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"So much intolerence from so many, its very sad. I am slightly older than a lot of you and I am bringing up my child to be respectful of other peoples choices, not ignore them. Is age relevant, I,m older than you. You are likely bringing your kid up to be dishonest as ultimately that's where pretend comes from so maybe consider the damage you are doing to him/her/it. . You’re really not helping with how aggressive you’re wording your replies. Man up!" What does that even mean? Are you implying you’re more of a “man” than me? | |||
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"This has been a wonderful read to find out who I would not wish to speak to
Yes, it easy to assess someone by reading, and possibly misintereting, a few posts on a thread.
This is how bubbles form. Hear something you don't like or agree with, block and find someone who (apparently) does.
I am all for a free exchange of ideas but completely understand if others aren't.
"All of this!!! I’ve had some interactions and messages from peeps on here that sit on the complete opposite side of the fence to me. | |||
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"This has been a wonderful read to find out who I would not wish to speak to
Yes, it easy to assess someone by reading, and possibly misintereting, a few posts on a thread.
This is how bubbles form. Hear something you don't like or agree with, block and find someone who (apparently) does.
I am all for a free exchange of ideas but completely understand if others aren't.
"Quite happy to block as I see fit as I’m sure you’re able to as well | |||
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"Man up means stop sniffing and go hunt me a wild boar" Sounds like too much cardio for me tbh. | |||
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"Man up means stop sniffing and go hunt me a wild boar Sounds like too much cardio for me tbh. " Can't/won't | |||
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"I've used they and them as a singular even when knowing what gender they are, "they might know this" or "it's up to them". As far as using those terms as pronouns, it's literally not an issue if they want to be referred to as they/them because it makes no difference to my everyday life using those terms for them. What on earth makes it so difficult for others to do the same other than the fact that it's one more thing to remember. Some people need to get a grip "I don’t think most have a problem with using it out of courtesy, it’s being compelled to myself and others have an issue with. | |||
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"Man up means stop sniffing and go hunt me a wild boar Sounds like too much cardio for me tbh. Can't/won't " I’m now using them as my preferred pronouns! | |||
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"It's not difficult to respect what ppl want" Agreed, but the logic goes both ways. | |||
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"Why don't we just start referring to everyone as they/them? Problem solved." That works and i have been doing it for a while now and no ones ever said anything about it | |||
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"Yes I'll start blocking everyone who doesn't share my opinion despite never previously talking to them to begin with Fuck that, that's just more time wasted when I could be slacking off playing world of goo" I prefer not to live my life in an echo chamber. | |||
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"Yes I'll start blocking everyone who doesn't share my opinion despite never previously talking to them to begin with Fuck that, that's just more time wasted when I could be slacking off playing world of goo" I've never understood this way of thinking. Personally I think it's a huge reason for people not being able to debate. If we all learnt to listen and understand each others opinions we may actually make some progress | |||
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"Oof seems some hurt feelings at the mention of blocking. "You’re reading waaaaaay too much into the replies. | |||
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"Yes I'll start blocking everyone who doesn't share my opinion despite never previously talking to them to begin with Fuck that, that's just more time wasted when I could be slacking off playing world of goo I've never understood this way of thinking. Personally I think it's a huge reason for people not being able to debate. If we all learnt to listen and understand each others opinions we may actually make some progress" Get out my head! | |||
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"Yes I'll start blocking everyone who doesn't share my opinion despite never previously talking to them to begin with Fuck that, that's just more time wasted when I could be slacking off playing world of goo I've never understood this way of thinking. Personally I think it's a huge reason for people not being able to debate. If we all learnt to listen and understand each others opinions we may actually make some progress" I sort of agree but I can't help point out your contradiction because you said you never understood their way of thinking... even though you listened... | |||
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"As pronouns.. no issue other than aren’t they both plural pronouns- what’s the singular equivalent? It can be used as both a plural and a singular. For example… You: I’m picking my cousin up from the airport. Me: What time are you picking them up? You: They land at 5pm so not long after that. " ^^^This. It's already used naturally when we do not know the gender of a person (such as the cousin above). | |||
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"Yes I'll start blocking everyone who doesn't share my opinion despite never previously talking to them to begin with Fuck that, that's just more time wasted when I could be slacking off playing world of goo I've never understood this way of thinking. Personally I think it's a huge reason for people not being able to debate. If we all learnt to listen and understand each others opinions we may actually make some progress Get out my head! " Not my fault your mind is open just enough for me to get inside | |||
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"Yes I'll start blocking everyone who doesn't share my opinion despite never previously talking to them to begin with Fuck that, that's just more time wasted when I could be slacking off playing world of goo I've never understood this way of thinking. Personally I think it's a huge reason for people not being able to debate. If we all learnt to listen and understand each others opinions we may actually make some progress I sort of agree but I can't help point out your contradiction because you said you never understood their way of thinking... even though you listened... " I've never understood because it's never explained. That's not a contradiction | |||
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"Some very nasty people on this thread. The block button has been well used this morning "The private note thingy is better I find! Have had some ask to meet and when I've noticed I've got a detrimental private note I can say no ty little things I know! But gives me petty pleasure! X | |||
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"[Removed by poster at 17/05/23 12:39:04]" I see you | |||
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"Yes I'll start blocking everyone who doesn't share my opinion despite never previously talking to them to begin with Fuck that, that's just more time wasted when I could be slacking off playing world of goo" That's why no-one can have a debate anymore or change their opinions. I like to debate and I do change my opinions because I'm not always right and it's intriguing hearing others reasoning.... or sometimes I just like poking the bear. No wonder people are so aggressive if they aren't surrounding themselves in diverse opinions, reminds me of a baby throwing their toys out of the pram because you don't agree. | |||
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"Yes I'll start blocking everyone who doesn't share my opinion despite never previously talking to them to begin with Fuck that, that's just more time wasted when I could be slacking off playing world of goo I've never understood this way of thinking. Personally I think it's a huge reason for people not being able to debate. If we all learnt to listen and understand each others opinions we may actually make some progress I sort of agree but I can't help point out your contradiction because you said you never understood their way of thinking... even though you listened... I've never understood because it's never explained. That's not a contradiction "That's a fair point! | |||
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"I have a non binary child. They use they/them pronouns and while I done 100% understand it, I do respect their wishes. No different to their life long friend is under going gender reassignment. I've known them as one thing for 20 years, but now is something else. I respect their choices It's not difficult to respect what ppl want" Exactly this! X | |||
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"I have a non binary child. They use they/them pronouns and while I done 100% understand it, I do respect their wishes. No different to their life long friend is under going gender reassignment. I've known them as one thing for 20 years, but now is something else. I respect their choices It's not difficult to respect what ppl want Exactly this! X" Again it goes both ways. | |||
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"Let me see they them titties! "In this example, you would use "your", wouldn't you? A pronoun would be grammatically incorrect. "Let me see YOUR titties". *Pedant poster popping off* | |||
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"I have a non binary child. They use they/them pronouns and while I done 100% understand it, I do respect their wishes. No different to their life long friend is under going gender reassignment. I've known them as one thing for 20 years, but now is something else. I respect their choices It's not difficult to respect what ppl want Exactly this! X Again it goes both ways." Elaborate | |||
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"What's A private note? " Profilemenuprivate notes | |||
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"I have a non binary child. They use they/them pronouns and while I done 100% understand it, I do respect their wishes. No different to their life long friend is under going gender reassignment. I've known them as one thing for 20 years, but now is something else. I respect their choices It's not difficult to respect what ppl want Exactly this! X Again it goes both ways. Elaborate " It’s not difficult to respect people with opposing views. | |||
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"What's A private note? Profilemenuprivate notes" Site supporters only  | |||
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"What's A private note? " The 3 little lines drop down menu on there x | |||
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"What's A private note? The 3 little lines drop down menu on there x" Profile * | |||
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"What's A private note? The 3 little lines drop down menu on there x" What's it for? Is it like a criminal record? So say for example This person offended you and you popped this on a private note then if they spoke to you at a later date, the note would flag that they was a bit of an arse? | |||
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"What's A private note? The 3 little lines drop down menu on there x What's it for? Is it like a criminal record? So say for example This person offended you and you popped this on a private note then if they spoke to you at a later date, the note would flag that they was a bit of an arse? " More or less yes! Look on their profile see I've made a private note x | |||
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"What's A private note? The 3 little lines drop down menu on there x What's it for? Is it like a criminal record? So say for example This person offended you and you popped this on a private note then if they spoke to you at a later date, the note would flag that they was a bit of an arse? More or less yes! Look on their profile see I've made a private note x" I applaud the petty! | |||
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"What's A private note? The 3 little lines drop down menu on there x What's it for? Is it like a criminal record? So say for example This person offended you and you popped this on a private note then if they spoke to you at a later date, the note would flag that they was a bit of an arse? More or less yes! Look on their profile see I've made a private note x" Can't, I foolishly spent my site supporter money on food for my child | |||
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"I identify as a carrot " Me as a rabbit poor you | |||
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"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum? They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community. And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work? Take a look at yourselves." xxx | |||
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"Fuck me, I must have enough notes for a hard back edition " Go for it! I don't have that many but has grown considerably today! X | |||
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"What's A private note? The 3 little lines drop down menu on there x What's it for? Is it like a criminal record? So say for example This person offended you and you popped this on a private note then if they spoke to you at a later date, the note would flag that they was a bit of an arse? More or less yes! Look on their profile see I've made a private note x" I note if I have seen their face. Did i find them attractive. Real names. What we have messaged about. I never thought that I could use it to remind me that once, a while ago, they said/did something I didn't like but which didn't make me think they were an overbearing dick. They aren't that much of a dick that I'd block them, but, maybe in the future, I could use it as motivation to gain revenge for a slight that they probably didn't know about and would probably make them "Meh, who's next". Damn it. | |||
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"Fuck me, I must have enough notes for a hard back edition Go for it! I don't have that many but has grown considerably today! X"I'm not a site supporter, may I block you instead? | |||
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"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum? They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community. And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work? Take a look at yourselves." Most aren’t picking a fight with anyone and most aren’t taking spiteful swipes. It’s comments like these on both sides that stop genuine discourse. Take a look at yourself. | |||
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"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum? They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community. And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work? Take a look at yourselves." But they need to save grammar from... something that's been true since at least the fourteenth century! | |||
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"In other news - this was a genuine question and its been answered - don’t let the thread descend into woke bashing or negativity if someone wants to be a toaster then they can be but as has been said society is a very big place and people will continue to use terms they are familiar with without intent to offend - heres an idea - lets just be tolerant. No one died! "Oh god can I be the toast  | |||
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"I've used they and them as a singular even when knowing what gender they are, "they might know this" or "it's up to them". As far as using those terms as pronouns, it's literally not an issue if they want to be referred to as they/them because it makes no difference to my everyday life using those terms for them. What on earth makes it so difficult for others to do the same other than the fact that it's one more thing to remember. Some people need to get a grip "An example I used on another thread is when my teacher got married halfway through a school year. A school of about 1500 children managed to change what they called her overnight without any issues yet some adults seem to think changing someone’s pronouns is an impossible task. | |||
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"What's A private note? The 3 little lines drop down menu on there x What's it for? Is it like a criminal record? So say for example This person offended you and you popped this on a private note then if they spoke to you at a later date, the note would flag that they was a bit of an arse? More or less yes! Look on their profile see I've made a private note x I note if I have seen their face. Did i find them attractive. Real names. What we have messaged about. I never thought that I could use it to remind me that once, a while ago, they said/did something I didn't like but which didn't make me think they were an overbearing dick. They aren't that much of a dick that I'd block them, but, maybe in the future, I could use it as motivation to gain revenge for a slight that they probably didn't know about and would probably make them "Meh, who's next". Damn it. " Good idea go for it! Personally there are some people I would rather not engage with if I fee very strongly with their opinion so as well as getting my petty revenge save waisting my time and theirs! As I found to my displeasure once in a coffee shop with a guy! But must say the other coffee drinkers in the shop were entertained for a while! x | |||
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"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum? They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community. And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work? Take a look at yourselves. Most aren’t picking a fight with anyone and most aren’t taking spiteful swipes. It’s comments like these on both sides that stop genuine discourse. Take a look at yourself. " There is no "both sides" to this. It's not a debate. People in this thread have made it pretty clear that they choose to misgender othet not out of ignorance, but out of spite and hate. | |||
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"Fuck me, I must have enough notes for a hard back edition Go for it! I don't have that many but has grown considerably today! X
I'm not a site supporter, may I block you instead? "Of course! X | |||
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"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum? They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community. And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work? Take a look at yourselves. Most aren’t picking a fight with anyone and most aren’t taking spiteful swipes. It’s comments like these on both sides that stop genuine discourse. Take a look at yourself. There is no "both sides" to this. It's not a debate. People in this thread have made it pretty clear that they choose to misgender othet not out of ignorance, but out of spite and hate. " Or because they have their preferences and they have a right. I mean sure, anyone has a right to say most things they want. I also have a right to think someone is an arsehole and the way they speak is horrendous - and act accordingly. (I also have the right to say what I think about such things) | |||
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"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum? They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community. And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work? Take a look at yourselves. Most aren’t picking a fight with anyone and most aren’t taking spiteful swipes. It’s comments like these on both sides that stop genuine discourse. Take a look at yourself. There is no "both sides" to this. It's not a debate. People in this thread have made it pretty clear that they choose to misgender othet not out of ignorance, but out of spite and hate. " Except this thread shows quite clearly there are both sides. There’s been daft comments thrown around by both sides. | |||
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"I've used they and them as a singular even when knowing what gender they are, "they might know this" or "it's up to them". As far as using those terms as pronouns, it's literally not an issue if they want to be referred to as they/them because it makes no difference to my everyday life using those terms for them. What on earth makes it so difficult for others to do the same other than the fact that it's one more thing to remember. Some people need to get a grip
An example I used on another thread is when my teacher got married halfway through a school year. A school of about 1500 children managed to change what they called her overnight without any issues yet some adults seem to think changing someone’s pronouns is an impossible task."In this situation, I am required to call her by her new name in law. So I would. If she was just swanning about calling herself a different name without cause in law, I don't have to. What I do call her depends on our relationship. | |||
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"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum? They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community. And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work? Take a look at yourselves. Most aren’t picking a fight with anyone and most aren’t taking spiteful swipes. It’s comments like these on both sides that stop genuine discourse. Take a look at yourself. There is no "both sides" to this. It's not a debate. People in this thread have made it pretty clear that they choose to misgender othet not out of ignorance, but out of spite and hate. Or because they have their preferences and they have a right. I mean sure, anyone has a right to say most things they want. I also have a right to think someone is an arsehole and the way they speak is horrendous - and act accordingly. (I also have the right to say what I think about such things)" Thank you! Exactly this! Most probably think I’m a bellend for my views and that’s cool. | |||
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"I've used they and them as a singular even when knowing what gender they are, "they might know this" or "it's up to them". As far as using those terms as pronouns, it's literally not an issue if they want to be referred to as they/them because it makes no difference to my everyday life using those terms for them. What on earth makes it so difficult for others to do the same other than the fact that it's one more thing to remember. Some people need to get a grip
An example I used on another thread is when my teacher got married halfway through a school year. A school of about 1500 children managed to change what they called her overnight without any issues yet some adults seem to think changing someone’s pronouns is an impossible task."And they manage to call Richard a Dick. | |||
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"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum? They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community. And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work? Take a look at yourselves. Most aren’t picking a fight with anyone and most aren’t taking spiteful swipes. It’s comments like these on both sides that stop genuine discourse. Take a look at yourself. There is no "both sides" to this. It's not a debate. People in this thread have made it pretty clear that they choose to misgender othet not out of ignorance, but out of spite and hate. Except this thread shows quite clearly there are both sides. There’s been daft comments thrown around by both sides. " I mean sure, in the same way there's two sides in whether the world was created in seven days or if the science has a point | |||
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"Some very nasty people on this thread. The block button has been well used this morning "I'm sure those affected will be devastated, but thanks for letting everyone know | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"Why is it that every few days someone decides to pick a fight with the trans community on this forum? They/them pronouns have been used as both singular and plural for decades. You know it. I know it. Yet you make the same spiteful swipes at this legitimately marginalised community. And people wonder why you need diversity and inclusion training modules at work? Take a look at yourselves. Most aren’t picking a fight with anyone and most aren’t taking spiteful swipes. It’s comments like these on both sides that stop genuine discourse. Take a look at yourself. There is no "both sides" to this. It's not a debate. People in this thread have made it pretty clear that they choose to misgender othet not out of ignorance, but out of spite and hate. Except this thread shows quite clearly there are both sides. There’s been daft comments thrown around by both sides. I mean sure, in the same way there's two sides in whether the world was created in seven days or if the science has a point "I shall await that debate patiently. | |||
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"(attempts to leave the thread before anylbe notices I popped in) " You could always pop my way lol because I saw you. | |||
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"Some very nasty people on this thread. The block button has been well used this morning
I'm sure those affected will be devastated, but thanks for letting everyone know "I get blocked on a regular basis. Almost everyday, I'm devastated | |||
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"Some very nasty people on this thread. The block button has been well used this morning
I'm sure those affected will be devastated, but thanks for letting everyone know "I applaud the sarcastic passive aggression. | |||
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"I've used they and them as a singular even when knowing what gender they are, "they might know this" or "it's up to them". As far as using those terms as pronouns, it's literally not an issue if they want to be referred to as they/them because it makes no difference to my everyday life using those terms for them. What on earth makes it so difficult for others to do the same other than the fact that it's one more thing to remember. Some people need to get a grip
I don’t think most have a problem with using it out of courtesy, it’s being compelled to myself and others have an issue with."But why do you have an issue being compelled to say it? They have fought a lifetime to find something to fit into into, you just have to use slightly different words in a sentence. It's not something to kick off about | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I've used they and them as a singular even when knowing what gender they are, "they might know this" or "it's up to them". As far as using those terms as pronouns, it's literally not an issue if they want to be referred to as they/them because it makes no difference to my everyday life using those terms for them. What on earth makes it so difficult for others to do the same other than the fact that it's one more thing to remember. Some people need to get a grip
An example I used on another thread is when my teacher got married halfway through a school year. A school of about 1500 children managed to change what they called her overnight without any issues yet some adults seem to think changing someone’s pronouns is an impossible task.
In this situation, I am required to call her by her new name in law. So I would. If she was just swanning about calling herself a different name without cause in law, I don't have to.
What I do call her depends on our relationship. "What law makes you call someone by their correct name? I'm pretty sure that you are not required to call someone by their chosen name, whether it's a married name or their legal name or otherwise. | |||
Reply privately (closed, thread got too big) | |||
"I've used they and them as a singular even when knowing what gender they are, "they might know this" or "it's up to them". As far as using those terms as pronouns, it's literally not an issue if they want to be referred to as they/them because it makes no difference to my everyday life using those terms for them. What on earth makes it so difficult for others to do the same other than the fact that it's one more thing to remember. Some people need to get a grip
An example I used on another thread is when my teacher got married halfway through a school year. A school of about 1500 children managed to change what they called her overnight without any issues yet some adults seem to think changing someone’s pronouns is an impossible task.
In this situation, I am required to call her by her new name in law. So I would. If she was just swanning about calling herself a different name without cause in law, I don't have to.
What I do call her depends on our relationship. "I’m unaware of a law you’d be breaking by calling her by her maiden name. | |||
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