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If it looks like a duck
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Walks like a duck, quacks like a duck…
Is it a duck?
I could of left this here for some funny answers but what I’ve been pondering about recently is that can we be delusional about ourselves?
If you think you are X but everyone sees Y doesn’t that mean you are Y?
Or are you really X but only show Y?
Ps welcome to my head 
Marc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I show what I want people to see (or what I think I want them to see)
What they actually see might be very different.
People rarely see me the way I see myself.
So I don't know if I'm a duck or not? |
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"Walks like a duck, quacks like a duck…
Is it a duck?
I could of left this here for some funny answers but what I’ve been pondering about recently is that can we be delusional about ourselves?
If you think you are X but everyone sees Y doesn’t that mean you are Y?
Or are you really X but only show Y?
Ps welcome to my head
Marc"
Do you waddle and pester people for bread?
Does your voice produce an echo? |
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"I will give you this though Marc.
Looks can be deceptive.
We look at the outside like that is the person. But it's not. It's what's inside that counts. 
Jo.Xx
It’s also based on interactions though
Marc
"
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"Walks like a duck, quacks like a duck…
Is it a duck?
I could of left this here for some funny answers but what I’ve been pondering about recently is that can we be delusional about ourselves?
If you think you are X but everyone sees Y doesn’t that mean you are Y?
Or are you really X but only show Y?
Ps welcome to my head
Marc"
Fascinating stuff!! And I’m not sure what the answer is.
Thinking it through, I know people see me differently to how I see myself. I have never been assessed, but I firmly believe I am autistic.
Having certain traits means that, for me, I find public interaction with strangers difficult. I can also come across as rude or disinterested when I’m not intending to be.
So - I think I’m being X, other people *may* see me as being Y. But I can’t say for sure because people rarely sit someone down and explain how they see them and check if that matches how they see themselves.
My family and close friends will see a truer version of me. Strangers are most likely to see a veneer - a coping strategy.
I’m becoming more aware of my traits as I get older and more willing to accept I’m a bit wonky. I certainly never set out to be X but show Y. I try to remain true to myself, but it doesn’t always come across.
I feel like I’ve randomly rambled on talking nonsense!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are all XY, a combination of our thoughts and theirs. We choose what we show and they choose what they want to see. So ultimately all labels are temporary except the D or the V. |
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"Walks like a duck, quacks like a duck…
Is it a duck?
I could of left this here for some funny answers but what I’ve been pondering about recently is that can we be delusional about ourselves?
If you think you are X but everyone sees Y doesn’t that mean you are Y?
Or are you really X but only show Y?
Ps welcome to my head
Marc
Fascinating stuff!! And I’m not sure what the answer is.
Thinking it through, I know people see me differently to how I see myself. I have never been assessed, but I firmly believe I am autistic.
Having certain traits means that, for me, I find public interaction with strangers difficult. I can also come across as rude or disinterested when I’m not intending to be.
So - I think I’m being X, other people *may* see me as being Y. But I can’t say for sure because people rarely sit someone down and explain how they see them and check if that matches how they see themselves.
My family and close friends will see a truer version of me. Strangers are most likely to see a veneer - a coping strategy.
I’m becoming more aware of my traits as I get older and more willing to accept I’m a bit wonky. I certainly never set out to be X but show Y. I try to remain true to myself, but it doesn’t always come across.
I feel like I’ve randomly rambled on talking nonsense!! "
I’m not sure if it’s a good thing but that has made perfect sense to me
Marc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Other peoples views on me are none of my business 
Very much so and i do believe this but it makes me question do we show enough of ourselves?
Marc"
I can’t see why not? We naturally share what we need to or feel comfortable sharing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"im out of focus.
someone else tunes the picture"
Oh I like this. They’re using their bandwidth to tune into ‘their’ perception of ‘you’. Which may be totally at odds with ‘your’ self-perception. So which perception is ‘true’?! Maybe all of them |
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By *4bimMan
over a year ago
Farnborough Hampshire |
"im out of focus.
someone else tunes the pictureOh I like this. They’re using their bandwidth to tune into ‘their’ perception of ‘you’. Which may be totally at odds with ‘your’ self-perception. So which perception is ‘true’?! Maybe all of them "
ah |
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This is deeply philosophical. I don't have enough headspace to think it through too much at the moment. But... We're not always what we think we are. We will sometimes go to great lengths to preserve the image we have of ourselves. We rewrite the past and convince ourselves that ours is the true view.
J |
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"This is deeply philosophical. I don't have enough headspace to think it through too much at the moment. But... We're not always what we think we are. We will sometimes go to great lengths to preserve the image we have of ourselves. We rewrite the past and convince ourselves that ours is the true view.
J"
Sorry 
But… does that make us disillusioned about ourselves?
Marc |
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I’ve lived in this body and mind for 40 years, I know what I am and what I think.
People perception of me may differ. I’ll take the compliment but I know they are wrong, and probably took my politeness as something else.
The mr |
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"This is deeply philosophical. I don't have enough headspace to think it through too much at the moment. But... We're not always what we think we are. We will sometimes go to great lengths to preserve the image we have of ourselves. We rewrite the past and convince ourselves that ours is the true view.
J
Sorry
But… does that make us disillusioned about ourselves?
Marc"
Don’t make me think on my lunch break!
No, we're unaware because we've convinced ourselves that we think is true particularly if we've done something horrible. I'm not sure if I'm even answering the original question now 
 ?
J |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"If *you* think you're x then you are. What other people see is to a large extent beyond your control as it's through the lens of their personal experience and prejudices "
Yes, very much this. Add in the fact that different people bring different sides of me out. I think we're multifaceted, difficult to neatly label beyond - we're human.
Ask a selection of people what you think about x and you'll receive a myriad of responses. I think as long as we know ourselves, or at least have confidence in who we are, that's the most important thing.
There's some irony within the conversation isn't there? We don't think people could know us fully because we're complex, fluid, ever changing and learning. Yet we don't afford those we view in the same way - look at how quick we are to say a person is some negative trait/characteristic/not for me based on a few posts read through our bias lense.
It's an interesting question anyway OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It reminds me of something I heard that we judge others by their actions but judge ourselves by our intentions.
I think that says a lot by how we see ourselves compared to how others see us  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Couldn't give a rats backside about how others perceive me, here and in real life. There will always be someone who judge you, always those who want to tear you down. Just be yourself to please yourself I say |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Walks like a duck, quacks like a duck…
Is it a duck?
I could of left this here for some funny answers but what I’ve been pondering about recently is that can we be delusional about ourselves?
If you think you are X but everyone sees Y doesn’t that mean you are Y?
Or are you really X but only show Y?
Ps welcome to my head
Marc"
As long as your nice to them and then to you…I don’t see a problem |
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"Walks like a duck, quacks like a duck…
Is it a duck?
I could of left this here for some funny answers but what I’ve been pondering about recently is that can we be delusional about ourselves?
If you think you are X but everyone sees Y doesn’t that mean you are Y?
Or are you really X but only show Y?
Ps welcome to my head
Marc"
Perception is reality |
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"Other peoples views on me are none of my business
Very much so and i do believe this but it makes me question do we show enough of ourselves?
Marc"
That's an individual thing. I don't think many people show much of their real self to anybody apart from those very close to them |
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"The individuals reality but certainly not the majorities."
They will all have their own perceptions and they are all real to them.
I dont subscribe to the notion that what others think is not significant. We dont exist in a vaccuum. We exist in an environment which we all share. What people perceive of me impacts their interactions with me. For me, it matters. |
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"The individuals reality but certainly not the majorities.
They will all have their own perceptions and they are all real to them.
I dont subscribe to the notion that what others think is not significant. We dont exist in a vaccuum. We exist in an environment which we all share. What people perceive of me impacts their interactions with me. For me, it matters. "
We never see ourselves as other do  |
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"The individuals reality but certainly not the majorities.
They will all have their own perceptions and they are all real to them.
I dont subscribe to the notion that what others think is not significant. We dont exist in a vaccuum. We exist in an environment which we all share. What people perceive of me impacts their interactions with me. For me, it matters. "
Brilliant, thanks for letting me know. |
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"I am whatever I am to me… wether that be a duck and everybody else sees a pigeon, that’s their business and non of my concern. I’d live a very anxious life if I let other people define me
J. "
100% right, if you are a bloke who wants to be a woman don't get arsey when not perceived as a woman.
Be who you want to be & although others to live in there own reality as you do yours. |
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"If *you* think you're x then you are. What other people see is to a large extent beyond your control as it's through the lens of their personal experience and prejudices
Yes, very much this. Add in the fact that different people bring different sides of me out. I think we're multifaceted, difficult to neatly label beyond - we're human.
Ask a selection of people what you think about x and you'll receive a myriad of responses. I think as long as we know ourselves, or at least have confidence in who we are, that's the most important thing.
There's some irony within the conversation isn't there? We don't think people could know us fully because we're complex, fluid, ever changing and learning. Yet we don't afford those we view in the same way - look at how quick we are to say a person is some negative trait/characteristic/not for me based on a few posts read through our bias lense.
It's an interesting question anyway OP. "
You are very much right about this. We know that within ourselves that we change constantly, add in external factors and we may react to things differently each time. Yet you often don’t give others the same license.
Marc |
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"The individuals reality but certainly not the majorities.
They will all have their own perceptions and they are all real to them.
I dont subscribe to the notion that what others think is not significant. We dont exist in a vaccuum. We exist in an environment which we all share. What people perceive of me impacts their interactions with me. For me, it matters. "
Yes I agree with you that other people perceptions do matter at times and as you say it’s the interactions that will often dictate this
Marc |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Walks like a duck, quacks like a duck…
Is it a duck?
I could of left this here for some funny answers but what I’ve been pondering about recently is that can we be delusional about ourselves?
If you think you are X but everyone sees Y doesn’t that mean you are Y?
Or are you really X but only show Y?
Ps welcome to my head
Marc"
They are both correct. |
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Jo.Xx 
