FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why do men......
Why do men......
Jump to: Newest in thread
.... Have to work harder then women to secure dates, meets etc? Is it because males are more desperate they will take anything including selling their own sexuality for a shot with a woman?
Is this why males pester more?
And not just on the site but in general, men always have to work harder, arrange the date, pay, make the first move etc
Is it tradition or just arrogance on a woman's part?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Come on women. Why aren’t you deliberately:
working harder
Or making it easier for men
Even though you don’t have to.
you could just to make it fair.
It must be arrogance |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think women put in just as much effort, we just don't tend to broadcast it or moan about it.
Everyone should be fussy and because of that arranging good encounters takes effort, time and patience.
It is worth it though.
I think some people are wrongly thinking this is instashag.
While we might get more attention, it's not all good attention and takes a heck of a lot of effort to filter through to find the right people
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I just think it’s the fact that there’s so many males to chose from. So women can quite rightly chose who they prefer.
So it’s good in a way because it makes all us guys up our game. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
No, no they don't.
I don't think or like men arranging everything, paying for it all.
On a site like this, it might seem like men need to make more of an effort - that's down to a number bias. Yes, men might have to make more of an effort on their profile.
But women? Women have to try and find someone they're compatible with. The amount of my female friends who've had dates/meets/socials cancelled. Where things haven't gone further, there's been no second meet/date etc and the woman ends up feeling a bit down and used.
I think that every person should make an effort and feel like that effort is reciprocated. Like they're wanted. If you're doing all the heavy lifting in something, stop that crap. There'll be someone out there who wants to meet you half way. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think women put in just as much effort, we just don't tend to broadcast it or moan about it.
Everyone should be fussy and because of that arranging good encounters takes effort, time and patience.
It is worth it though.
I think some people are wrongly thinking this is instashag.
While we might get more attention, it's not all good attention and takes a heck of a lot of effort to filter through to find the right people
"
I really don't think women put in as much effort as men |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think women put in just as much effort, we just don't tend to broadcast it or moan about it.
Everyone should be fussy and because of that arranging good encounters takes effort, time and patience.
It is worth it though.
I think some people are wrongly thinking this is instashag.
While we might get more attention, it's not all good attention and takes a heck of a lot of effort to filter through to find the right people
I really don't think women put in as much effort as men "
What do you mean by effort? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not sure what kind of women you chase, but I've always arranged most of my own meets and paid my own way for things like hotels , drinks,meals,travel etc etc
I don't demand or expect a man to pay for me and I've probably gone out of my way far more often to make it happen than the guys I've met previously. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think women put in just as much effort, we just don't tend to broadcast it or moan about it.
Everyone should be fussy and because of that arranging good encounters takes effort, time and patience.
It is worth it though.
I think some people are wrongly thinking this is instashag.
While we might get more attention, it's not all good attention and takes a heck of a lot of effort to filter through to find the right people
I really don't think women put in as much effort as men
What do you mean by effort? "
I think in terms of chasing women, men tend to more but women seem to put more effort into making the relationship work
Not all, but traditionally
But from personal experience, it's a lot more men in our inbox then women |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
".... Have to work harder then women to secure dates, meets etc? Is it because males are more desperate they will take anything including selling their own sexuality for a shot with a woman?
Is this why males pester more?
And not just on the site but in general, men always have to work harder, arrange the date, pay, make the first move etc
Is it tradition or just arrogance on a woman's part?
"
Men are more desperate? 
I joke.
This isn’t my experience at all OP. I like to make an effort with everything in life. But some don’t. Some do. Life is just like that  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think women put in just as much effort, we just don't tend to broadcast it or moan about it.
Everyone should be fussy and because of that arranging good encounters takes effort, time and patience.
It is worth it though.
I think some people are wrongly thinking this is instashag.
While we might get more attention, it's not all good attention and takes a heck of a lot of effort to filter through to find the right people
I really don't think women put in as much effort as men "
Well you need to meet different women |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think women put in just as much effort, we just don't tend to broadcast it or moan about it.
Everyone should be fussy and because of that arranging good encounters takes effort, time and patience.
It is worth it though.
I think some people are wrongly thinking this is instashag.
While we might get more attention, it's not all good attention and takes a heck of a lot of effort to filter through to find the right people
I really don't think women put in as much effort as men
What do you mean by effort?
I think in terms of chasing women, men tend to more but women seem to put more effort into making the relationship work
Not all, but traditionally
But from personal experience, it's a lot more men in our inbox then women "
.
We're not looking for women so our in box is going to be male centred, it seems even in couples it's mostly the man messaging.
I think the roles you assign to relationships probably appear correct on the surface but could that be because of the difference in the way *some* men and women to go about relationships, treating them like a points scoring exercise in some cases? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
(From experience), It becomes difficult when your fab peeps recognise you, it's a walk like the Pied Piper with women flocking from all corners of town just to catch a glimpse, throwing themselves over benches, plants, partitions all wanting to touch you like a golden fleece! I ended running into a shop for safety once, little did I know it sold pasties.. you can guess the outcome, bedlam. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think women put in just as much effort, we just don't tend to broadcast it or moan about it.
Everyone should be fussy and because of that arranging good encounters takes effort, time and patience.
It is worth it though.
I think some people are wrongly thinking this is instashag.
While we might get more attention, it's not all good attention and takes a heck of a lot of effort to filter through to find the right people
I really don't think women put in as much effort as men
What do you mean by effort?
I think in terms of chasing women, men tend to more but women seem to put more effort into making the relationship work
Not all, but traditionally
But from personal experience, it's a lot more men in our inbox then women
.
We're not looking for women so our in box is going to be male centred, it seems even in couples it's mostly the man messaging.
I think the roles you assign to relationships probably appear correct on the surface but could that be because of the difference in the way *some* men and women to go about relationships, treating them like a points scoring exercise in some cases?"
Yeah most of the couples I've spoke to have been the male. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think women put in just as much effort, we just don't tend to broadcast it or moan about it.
Everyone should be fussy and because of that arranging good encounters takes effort, time and patience.
It is worth it though.
I think some people are wrongly thinking this is instashag.
While we might get more attention, it's not all good attention and takes a heck of a lot of effort to filter through to find the right people
I really don't think women put in as much effort as men
What do you mean by effort?
I think in terms of chasing women, men tend to more but women seem to put more effort into making the relationship work
Not all, but traditionally
But from personal experience, it's a lot more men in our inbox then women
.
We're not looking for women so our in box is going to be male centred, it seems even in couples it's mostly the man messaging.
I think the roles you assign to relationships probably appear correct on the surface but could that be because of the difference in the way *some* men and women to go about relationships, treating them like a points scoring exercise in some cases?
Yeah most of the couples I've spoke to have been the male. "
Anyone who speaks to us is going to be talking to the woman  Mr N just looks over my shoulder and says "you've gone too far this time!" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think women put in just as much effort, we just don't tend to broadcast it or moan about it.
Everyone should be fussy and because of that arranging good encounters takes effort, time and patience.
It is worth it though.
I think some people are wrongly thinking this is instashag.
While we might get more attention, it's not all good attention and takes a heck of a lot of effort to filter through to find the right people
I really don't think women put in as much effort as men
What do you mean by effort?
I think in terms of chasing women, men tend to more but women seem to put more effort into making the relationship work
Not all, but traditionally
But from personal experience, it's a lot more men in our inbox then women
.
We're not looking for women so our in box is going to be male centred, it seems even in couples it's mostly the man messaging.
I think the roles you assign to relationships probably appear correct on the surface but could that be because of the difference in the way *some* men and women to go about relationships, treating them like a points scoring exercise in some cases?
Yeah most of the couples I've spoke to have been the male.
Anyone who speaks to us is going to be talking to the woman Mr N just looks over my shoulder and says "you've gone too far this time!" "
I don't have that luxury. I only have two speeds, "quiet" and "you've fucked up again" |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Perhaps one reason is down to the numbers as currently the ratio on fab is at least 100 men to every woman on fab and so us men need to make at least some effort to stand out.
As for the comments about being 'desperate' and selling their sexuality, I'm afraid that I have to disagree.
Whilst I can't speak for other men, personally, I see no reason why I should lower my standards or take whatever offers I get - if I've interpreted it right - and I think that any perception any woman gets that anyone approaching them is doing this is likely to be detrimental and self defeating as I'm pretty sure that no woman is going to be very impressed or enthusiatic about meeting someone with such a mindset - if that makes any sense.
I'd compare this to those who make a big thing about making any mention on their profiles about getting that first verification.
Let's face it, if we felt that someone was only interested in meeting us in order to get that little green tick, we'd get the impression that they weren't necessarily interested in us personally and that all they were after was getting that veriifcation. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
".... Have to work harder then women to secure dates, meets etc? Is it because males are more desperate they will take anything including selling their own sexuality for a shot with a woman?
Is this why males pester more?
And not just on the site but in general, men always have to work harder, arrange the date, pay, make the first move etc
Is it tradition or just arrogance on a woman's part?
"
So much nope in this. Sorry.
On Fab it may appear the case but it's not. I never struggled as a solo guy on here. Ever. Fox on the other hand had to ward of tons of unwanted attention, despite using every filter going. There's only so much you can do when you can only sift messages based primarily on age, gender and a few other loose parameters. Even when finding potentially interesting suitors there was the mix of those desperate to meet asap due to a lack of sex, those promising they wanted regular meets yet would vanish after one, the ghosters the fantasists and the strangely 'never available' at the times they claimed they'd be. I had it easy in comparison. Women don't have the easy ride they're often said to have.
Then there's couples looking for couples. Four way attraction is fucking hard to find. Plus finding times when everyone is free due to work, childcare and other 'coupley' responsibilities. Way harder than for a single guy.
As for men having to 'always work harder, pay, make the first move etc.' ? 
I think the 1950's just called and asked for their attitude back.
'Traditions' like those are only perpetuated these days by those looking for a convenient excuse as to why they find things hard on sites like this and in dating in the real world, or by muppets like Tate. The world moved on long ago. Nobody expects those stereotypes to be lived up to these days.
As to whether males pester more or not I'm on the fence. They may seem to, but is that due to the volumes of them swaying the results? Or is it the tiny minority behaving in ways so negative that it drives people to shout about them loudly and as such cause some to cast aspersions on the entire gender?
Because most people I know make no such assumptions about single guys and have never subscribed to the notion of tarring all with any brush, recognising that individuals can be fucknuggets regardless of gender and that their behaviour only reflects on themselves, not others.
A |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Also reward is directly correlated to effort, if it’s easy you aren’t working at it, life’s not about coasting and having it easy, you don’t tell your children not to try and be excellent, you don’t tell your work colleagues not to bother working hard, it’s the same for fab, life everything surely |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I generally message people I'm interested in first, I always pay my own way on meets, I'll often make a suggestion of where to meet up that is fair travel wise... I'm not sitting on my hands like some passive wallflower waiting on a man to notice me  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It's a dance and every dance is different. There's always ebb and flow. If it was static it would be lifeless.
If it feels natural, I continue to engage.
If she isn't synchronising with you, then the discordance is probably between who she is and what you desire.
Why put effort into someone you think to be arrogant, or attention seeking etc etc?
I can honestly say, on occasion women have put huge effort in, sometimes without me realising till the moment of critical mass. You may well be missing that whilst you bang your head against a brick wall.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've just noticed the last line. I think you might have got away with it otherwise, OP.
Well people can misinterpret it how they like. It's a genuine question"
It's difficult to misinterpret when the only options are tradition and arrogance |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've just noticed the last line. I think you might have got away with it otherwise, OP.
Well people can misinterpret it how they like. It's a genuine question
It's difficult to misinterpret when the only options are tradition and arrogance "
Well you'll have to excuse my poor choice of words on this one good sir
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Some decent replies here people. Maybe I'm wrong and basing my assumptions off older world values
"
I'm sure there's some truth to it. I've had women openly express how slut-shaming affects them, for example.
Personal experience too I would say plays a large part.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've just noticed the last line. I think you might have got away with it otherwise, OP.
Well people can misinterpret it how they like. It's a genuine question
It's difficult to misinterpret when the only options are tradition and arrogance
Well you'll have to excuse my poor choice of words on this one good sir
"
No problem young man  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't think they actually do though, very few men put in any effort.
They might chase and pester, but that's not the same as requesting a social, arranging a time and place, and turning up, looking half decent and buying the coffee! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't chase or hunt on here and never have done. I don't want to be chased or hunted either and anyone doing so will be ignored.
That's why I spend so much time getting to know people before even being for a social. Partly to ensure we are compatible and partly to ensure they are making a similar amount of effort.
I've said many times on threads offering advice to single men about improving their experience with a little more effort that it should apply to everyone and not just men.
Of course women and couples will get lots of offers regardless of how sparse or lazy their profiles are but it's all a bit pointless if they aren't the quality offers they expect.
Laziness begats laziness.
Anyone wishing to be successful here has to make an effort and if they don't they have no reason to whinge about poor experiences as a direct result of their own lack of effort. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I've just noticed the last line. I think you might have got away with it otherwise, OP.
Well people can misinterpret it how they like. It's a genuine question
It's difficult to misinterpret when the only options are tradition and arrogance
Well you'll have to excuse my poor choice of words on this one good sir
No problem young man "
I'll take that  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
Men don't have to do anything.
I don't force anyone to message me to see if I'm interested.
As for arranging dates and paying for things, I've picked a pub and got the drinks in before they've got there.
I put a lot of effort into finding the right men for me; if they think I'm hard work I'm sure there'll be someone in need of a quick fuck who doesn't care who puts his dick inside her. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
".... Have to work harder then women to secure dates, meets etc? Is it because males are more desperate they will take anything including selling their own sexuality for a shot with a woman?
Is this why males pester more?
And not just on the site but in general, men always have to work harder, arrange the date, pay, make the first move etc
Is it tradition or just arrogance on a woman's part?
"
Ask most guys on here if a lass has ever approached them first regarding going a date, and if they answer honestly, I can’t imagine many have. There are of course exceptions, but on the whole it’s the blokes making the first move. So I agree with a lot of what you say.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *vilgasamWoman
over a year ago
The dot in the i |
Men don’t have to work hard, they do of their own accord by sending millions of messages to anyone they cross paths with
Women here are inundated because of this
Men did that themselves, just calm down and let us come to you
Although we know you won’t, which is a shame |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Everyone should make an effort on here - we wouldn’t engage with someone who doesn’t.
But we get loads of messages from people who don’t and when C was single and had a profile on here, before she posted pics she got hundreds of messages.
So it appears men don’t help themselves - they’ll message anyone and everyone and because of that it seems the men do more chasing when in reality they don’t or shouldn’t - a lot will just send so many messages out, whether they match or not.
Due to this woman don’t have to send so many messages as they have to wade through the crap. Also women target people they think they’d match with.
So if guys thought with their brains in their heads and not their dicks then the site would work easier and there would be more parity 
K |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
When I was meeting I used to out a lot of effort into selecting guys I was compatible with. I'd usually suggest a location and would never expect a guy to pay for me. It worked for me as I never had a no show or cancellation.
I wasn't one to sit around waiting for a guy to do everything |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
".... Have to work harder then women to secure dates, meets etc? Is it because males are more desperate they will take anything including selling their own sexuality for a shot with a woman?
Is this why males pester more?
And not just on the site but in general, men always have to work harder, arrange the date, pay, make the first move etc
Is it tradition or just arrogance on a woman's part?
"
Just simply more men  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
Is making the first move hard work for a man?
If I see someone I'm interested in on a night out I'll smile at him. If he's interested he'll smile back and approach me. I'll offer to buy a drink, or offer to get them if he asks first.
Is that hard work?
Do men think being turned down by women who aren't interested in them is hard work?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"Is making the first move hard work for a man?
If I see someone I'm interested in on a night out I'll smile at him. If he's interested he'll smile back and approach me. I'll offer to buy a drink, or offer to get them if he asks first.
Is that hard work?
Do men think being turned down by women who aren't interested in them is hard work?
"
Certainly not a great feeling when you get rejected so just getting the courage to approach a lass is hard work. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Is making the first move hard work for a man?
If I see someone I'm interested in on a night out I'll smile at him. If he's interested he'll smile back and approach me. I'll offer to buy a drink, or offer to get them if he asks first.
Is that hard work?
Do men think being turned down by women who aren't interested in them is hard work?
Certainly not a great feeling when you get rejected so just getting the courage to approach a lass is hard work."
I imagine it can be embarrassing or dejecting but they must know that every woman they approach can't be interested, or not available.
I wouldn't call it hard work though.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"Is making the first move hard work for a man?
If I see someone I'm interested in on a night out I'll smile at him. If he's interested he'll smile back and approach me. I'll offer to buy a drink, or offer to get them if he asks first.
Is that hard work?
Do men think being turned down by women who aren't interested in them is hard work?
Certainly not a great feeling when you get rejected so just getting the courage to approach a lass is hard work.
I imagine it can be embarrassing or dejecting but they must know that every woman they approach can't be interested, or not available.
I wouldn't call it hard work though.
"
Why is it you won’t approach a guy then out of interest? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Perhaps if more men actually read a profile properly and took in the pertinent points of information, it would help them reduce a waste of effort.
Also "hi, how are you?" Or "hi, would love to meet" are just lazy opening messages. Something a bit more interesting to capture some interest and be a bit different would help. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"Perhaps if more men actually read a profile properly and took in the pertinent points of information, it would help them reduce a waste of effort.
Also "hi, how are you?" Or "hi, would love to meet" are just lazy opening messages. Something a bit more interesting to capture some interest and be a bit different would help."
The OP meant in general, not just on here I believe. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Regarding the "life in general" comment, that's completely false. When I was single I was taken for an absolute ride by every single guy I dated - they lead me on, getting anything like dates etc was like squeezing blood from a stone, they were users and liars and I'm well rid of them all.
It doesn't mean men are lazy and arrogant, it just means THOSE men were. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No, no they don't.
I don't think or like men arranging everything, paying for it all.
On a site like this, it might seem like men need to make more of an effort - that's down to a number bias. Yes, men might have to make more of an effort on their profile.
But women? Women have to try and find someone they're compatible with. The amount of my female friends who've had dates/meets/socials cancelled. Where things haven't gone further, there's been no second meet/date etc and the woman ends up feeling a bit down and used.
I think that every person should make an effort and feel like that effort is reciprocated. Like they're wanted. If you're doing all the heavy lifting in something, stop that crap. There'll be someone out there who wants to meet you half way. "
Good point well said |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"Regarding the "life in general" comment, that's completely false. When I was single I was taken for an absolute ride by every single guy I dated - they lead me on, getting anything like dates etc was like squeezing blood from a stone, they were users and liars and I'm well rid of them all.
It doesn't mean men are lazy and arrogant, it just means THOSE men were."
In your current relationship who asked who on the first date?
Just because you’ve had bad experiences doesn’t mean what the op said is “completely false”. They do sound awful though, us blokes can be twats! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Regarding the "life in general" comment, that's completely false. When I was single I was taken for an absolute ride by every single guy I dated - they lead me on, getting anything like dates etc was like squeezing blood from a stone, they were users and liars and I'm well rid of them all.
It doesn't mean men are lazy and arrogant, it just means THOSE men were.
In your current relationship who asked who on the first date?
Just because you’ve had bad experiences doesn’t mean what the op said is “completely false”. They do sound awful though, us blokes can be twats!"
It is "completely false" that women are all arrogant etc etc etc, I think my comparison was quite clear |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think women put in just as much effort, we just don't tend to broadcast it or moan about it.
Everyone should be fussy and because of that arranging good encounters takes effort, time and patience.
It is worth it though.
I think some people are wrongly thinking this is instashag.
While we might get more attention, it's not all good attention and takes a heck of a lot of effort to filter through to find the right people
"
Alot of men do think it's instashag on here and that a woman will just drop her knickers because he's messaged and said "Hi".
I've made it very clear I'm after a regular arrangement but I've lost count of how many offers of same day f**k meets I've had. The vast majority of guys who message make no effort at all.
I want a connection which means the chat needs to encompass other things besides sex and I wish it was easier for them to understand this and make more of an effort.
When I have met I always try and suggest somewhere half way and invariably it's me that gets told to choose, not sure if that's because they can't be bothered or they think letting me choose will make me more comfortable. If I get there first I'll buy the drinks if I don't I'll offer to buy the next round. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I don't think men so work harder, judging on here they definitely find it harder but work harder....no, sending a cock in the inbox isn't exactly hard work, or the fancy a fuck messages, again zero effort or one we had just the letter E, I mean where's the work your talking about??
Arrogance on a woman's part for all this hard work I've never seen, erm....no!
I pay my way & I'll put the effort in.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"Regarding the "life in general" comment, that's completely false. When I was single I was taken for an absolute ride by every single guy I dated - they lead me on, getting anything like dates etc was like squeezing blood from a stone, they were users and liars and I'm well rid of them all.
It doesn't mean men are lazy and arrogant, it just means THOSE men were.
In your current relationship who asked who on the first date?
Just because you’ve had bad experiences doesn’t mean what the op said is “completely false”. They do sound awful though, us blokes can be twats!
It is "completely false" that women are all arrogant etc etc etc, I think my comparison was quite clear "
He never stated they were, he asked a question. So who asked who on the first date out of you guys?
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Regarding the "life in general" comment, that's completely false. When I was single I was taken for an absolute ride by every single guy I dated - they lead me on, getting anything like dates etc was like squeezing blood from a stone, they were users and liars and I'm well rid of them all.
It doesn't mean men are lazy and arrogant, it just means THOSE men were.
In your current relationship who asked who on the first date?
Just because you’ve had bad experiences doesn’t mean what the op said is “completely false”. They do sound awful though, us blokes can be twats!
It is "completely false" that women are all arrogant etc etc etc, I think my comparison was quite clear
He never stated they were, he asked a question. So who asked who on the first date out of you guys?
"
Have you got our green arrow bookmarked?
He certainly suggested they were all arrogant.
We both talked about the idea. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I would never spending time convincing someone to meet with me.
It’s either they want to or don’t it’s that simple.
Yes i made an effort on my bio and photos when i was single but that is more of a reflection of who I am rather than competing against other males which is a difficult thing mentally to do when often at times i do need the attention.
I always go by the motto don’t sell to someone who doesn’t want to buy
Marc |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"Regarding the "life in general" comment, that's completely false. When I was single I was taken for an absolute ride by every single guy I dated - they lead me on, getting anything like dates etc was like squeezing blood from a stone, they were users and liars and I'm well rid of them all.
It doesn't mean men are lazy and arrogant, it just means THOSE men were.
In your current relationship who asked who on the first date?
Just because you’ve had bad experiences doesn’t mean what the op said is “completely false”. They do sound awful though, us blokes can be twats!
It is "completely false" that women are all arrogant etc etc etc, I think my comparison was quite clear
He never stated they were, he asked a question. So who asked who on the first date out of you guys?
Have you got our green arrow bookmarked?
He certainly suggested they were all arrogant.
We both talked about the idea."
Not sure what you mean by the bookmark comment tbh.
He never suggested it at all, his words are there and clear, you’ve just chosen to interpret a different way due to past experiences.
So basically he asked you, absolutely nothing wrong with it, just making a point that the majority of the time the onus is on the guy to make the first move. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"I don't think people always recognise the work on the other side of the equation, in these dynamics."
This is true. I think women put in an awful lot of effort into making relationships work. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Regarding the "life in general" comment, that's completely false. When I was single I was taken for an absolute ride by every single guy I dated - they lead me on, getting anything like dates etc was like squeezing blood from a stone, they were users and liars and I'm well rid of them all.
It doesn't mean men are lazy and arrogant, it just means THOSE men were.
In your current relationship who asked who on the first date?
Just because you’ve had bad experiences doesn’t mean what the op said is “completely false”. They do sound awful though, us blokes can be twats!
It is "completely false" that women are all arrogant etc etc etc, I think my comparison was quite clear
He never stated they were, he asked a question. So who asked who on the first date out of you guys?
Have you got our green arrow bookmarked?
He certainly suggested they were all arrogant.
We both talked about the idea.
Not sure what you mean by the bookmark comment tbh.
He never suggested it at all, his words are there and clear, you’ve just chosen to interpret a different way due to past experiences.
So basically he asked you, absolutely nothing wrong with it, just making a point that the majority of the time the onus is on the guy to make the first move. "
He was already a frequent visitor to my area, I suggested it even though I chickened out initially lol. But I'll let you win this one if it helps  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"Regarding the "life in general" comment, that's completely false. When I was single I was taken for an absolute ride by every single guy I dated - they lead me on, getting anything like dates etc was like squeezing blood from a stone, they were users and liars and I'm well rid of them all.
It doesn't mean men are lazy and arrogant, it just means THOSE men were.
In your current relationship who asked who on the first date?
Just because you’ve had bad experiences doesn’t mean what the op said is “completely false”. They do sound awful though, us blokes can be twats!
It is "completely false" that women are all arrogant etc etc etc, I think my comparison was quite clear
He never stated they were, he asked a question. So who asked who on the first date out of you guys?
Have you got our green arrow bookmarked?
He certainly suggested they were all arrogant.
We both talked about the idea.
Not sure what you mean by the bookmark comment tbh.
He never suggested it at all, his words are there and clear, you’ve just chosen to interpret a different way due to past experiences.
So basically he asked you, absolutely nothing wrong with it, just making a point that the majority of the time the onus is on the guy to make the first move.
He was already a frequent visitor to my area, I suggested it even though I chickened out initially lol. But I'll let you win this one if it helps "
Not a case of winning, it’s just a discussion. Thanks for clarifying he did though. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Regarding the "life in general" comment, that's completely false. When I was single I was taken for an absolute ride by every single guy I dated - they lead me on, getting anything like dates etc was like squeezing blood from a stone, they were users and liars and I'm well rid of them all.
It doesn't mean men are lazy and arrogant, it just means THOSE men were.
In your current relationship who asked who on the first date?
Just because you’ve had bad experiences doesn’t mean what the op said is “completely false”. They do sound awful though, us blokes can be twats!
It is "completely false" that women are all arrogant etc etc etc, I think my comparison was quite clear
He never stated they were, he asked a question. So who asked who on the first date out of you guys?
Have you got our green arrow bookmarked?
He certainly suggested they were all arrogant.
We both talked about the idea.
Not sure what you mean by the bookmark comment tbh.
He never suggested it at all, his words are there and clear, you’ve just chosen to interpret a different way due to past experiences.
So basically he asked you, absolutely nothing wrong with it, just making a point that the majority of the time the onus is on the guy to make the first move.
He was already a frequent visitor to my area, I suggested it even though I chickened out initially lol. But I'll let you win this one if it helps
Not a case of winning, it’s just a discussion. Thanks for clarifying he did though. "
I'm literally telling you you're wrong but you're determined |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"He was already a frequent visitor to my area, I suggested it even though I chickened out initially lol. But I'll let you win this one if it helps
Not a case of winning, it’s just a discussion. Thanks for clarifying he did though.
I'm literally telling you you're wrong but you're determined "
You said you chickened out which logically says to me he asked. Not sure what you think I’m determined about.
My point is that for most (not all) guys we’re expected to approach first and yes it’s hard work. I personally don’t see it as a bad thing and women put in more work in other areas. This is the way.  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"He was already a frequent visitor to my area, I suggested it even though I chickened out initially lol. But I'll let you win this one if it helps
Not a case of winning, it’s just a discussion. Thanks for clarifying he did though.
I'm literally telling you you're wrong but you're determined
You said you chickened out which logically says to me he asked. Not sure what you think I’m determined about.
My point is that for most (not all) guys we’re expected to approach first and yes it’s hard work. I personally don’t see it as a bad thing and women put in more work in other areas. This is the way. "
A Mando approved comment! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I make a big effort if I am engaged. Some of my replies can be epic. But if there is not the connection there why would I bother making much effort? I always offer to pay but won't argue if the guy insists. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"He was already a frequent visitor to my area, I suggested it even though I chickened out initially lol. But I'll let you win this one if it helps
Not a case of winning, it’s just a discussion. Thanks for clarifying he did though.
I'm literally telling you you're wrong but you're determined
You said you chickened out which logically says to me he asked. Not sure what you think I’m determined about.
My point is that for most (not all) guys we’re expected to approach first and yes it’s hard work. I personally don’t see it as a bad thing and women put in more work in other areas. This is the way.
A Mando approved comment! "
Yay to compromise over Star Wars.  We’re just clearly two opinionated, feisty fuckers |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I don't think they actually do though, very few men put in any effort.
They might chase and pester, but that's not the same as requesting a social, arranging a time and place, and turning up, looking half decent and buying the coffee! "
Exactly this. The "effort" men put in seems to be to have a half arsed attempt at a profile (songle man looking for women and couples, a few pics of their dick). A message saying, "you're fit, lets fuck tonight."
Not reading our carefully put together profiles, which state our preferences.
I have had to arrange the meets I have had, setting the time and place. If it is not me travelling to meet them, it is me having to make sure that my house is spotless because they can't accomodate. Usually because they still live at home, or shared house, or are doing the dirty on their partner.
We may get a lot of messages, but I see women as having to put in way more effort. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've had a think about this, and looked back at the last few women I've dated, plus there has been a couple more that have expressed interest.
I don't find it to be true that women put in less effort.
In fact, I'd likely be a virgin if it was up to me to put in that effort.
My partner has commented several times that I was hard work and placed her in the friend zone.
I'm not stating I'm a catch, more that I miss the obvious signs.
From this, I'm thinking you may be chasing the wrong women, or going about it the wrong way. Maybe. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Funny to watch the guys not miss a chance to play the sensitive considerate role in there responses…
Where the fuck is the vomit emoji!
There are 10000 guys for every woman (or couple looking for a guy) on here. Basic Darwinian economics suggest the boys have to peddle faster. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Society installs in us all that men are to pursue and women are to be pursued. Once you find the right person, there will be no chasing. Effort will be equal and a partnership will be born. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
From my experience, it's not just men that do. I have to put in the effort too to reap the rewards. It's certainly not handed on a plate to me that's for sure. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"Funny to watch the guys not miss a chance to play the sensitive considerate role in there responses…
Where the fuck is the vomit emoji!
There are 10000 guys for every woman (or couple looking for a guy) on here. Basic Darwinian economics suggest the boys have to peddle faster."
Balls I blew it!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There's an old saying
'he chased her until *she* caught him'
A lot of men think they've made the first move or they've done all the running when in fact they've been lead by the nose (or other part of body). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There's an old saying
'he chased her until *she* caught him'
A lot of men think they've made the first move or they've done all the running when in fact they've been lead by the nose (or other part of body). "
Bingo. A tale as old as time. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There's an old saying
'he chased her until *she* caught him'
A lot of men think they've made the first move or they've done all the running when in fact they've been lead by the nose (or other part of body).
Bingo. A tale as old as time."
I think it's about understanding the way society has defined how men and women should behave. It's mostly made us develop varying ways of communicating interest |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Isnt it universal (ish) all over the animal world. The male is bright and sparkly and does a lot of dancing around to get the ladies to his bed. And then usually fucks off to some unknown but surely relaxing place leaving her to bring up some straggling brood alone? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rispyDuckMan
over a year ago
Chinese Takeaway near you |
"Society installs in us all that men are to pursue and women are to be pursued. Once you find the right person, there will be no chasing. Effort will be equal and a partnership will be born."
Totally agree with this
Only chase after someone whose shown their worth your time & effort & can reciprocate with the same enthusiasm |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"Isnt it universal (ish) all over the animal world. The male is bright and sparkly and does a lot of dancing around to get the ladies to his bed. And then usually fucks off to some unknown but surely relaxing place leaving her to bring up some straggling brood alone? "
So basically we’re just big, cunty peacocks? I’ll take it! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Isnt it universal (ish) all over the animal world. The male is bright and sparkly and does a lot of dancing around to get the ladies to his bed. And then usually fucks off to some unknown but surely relaxing place leaving her to bring up some straggling brood alone?
So basically we’re just big, cunty peacocks? I’ll take it! "
Yes |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Firstly the ratio of men to women favour the female sex on here. Therefore men have to stand out more in a crowded field ... simple maths.
However it's not hard to stand out when too many people think "wanna fuck?" as an opening line is going to get them a meet.
As a female member of fab having a busy life and standards is not arrogance it makes sure my needs and desires are met and I am safe and going to enjoy a meet. I need to have a level of attraction to the person I am going to meet. I will only meet when suits me.
Ultimately I am here for my own pleasure and don't owe anyone on here anything and they don't owe me either. If the odds are against you then that's not my issue. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think women put in just as much effort, we just don't tend to broadcast it or moan about it.
Everyone should be fussy and because of that arranging good encounters takes effort, time and patience.
It is worth it though.
I think some people are wrongly thinking this is instashag.
While we might get more attention, it's not all good attention and takes a heck of a lot of effort to filter through to find the right people
"
I tried so many times to explain this to my ex. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
".... Have to work harder then women to secure dates, meets etc? Is it because males are more desperate they will take anything including selling their own sexuality for a shot with a woman?
Is this why males pester more?
And not just on the site but in general, men always have to work harder, arrange the date, pay, make the first move etc
Is it tradition or just arrogance on a woman's part?
"
Bit of both... That and sexism of course... Maybe |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Would be handy if there were some rules though. Imean some women expect you to pay... Its a deal breaker. Some like it but dont mind. And some punch you on the nose at the notion of paying for them... Its a deal breaker. Help us out ladies... Pick a lane. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
".... Have to work harder then women to secure dates, meets etc? Is it because males are more desperate they will take anything including selling their own sexuality for a shot with a woman?
Is this why males pester more?
And not just on the site but in general, men always have to work harder, arrange the date, pay, make the first move etc
Is it tradition or just arrogance on a woman's part?
"
I love equality, when efforts are matched, the attraction is matched, the respect and decency, honesty and all the other things we could list that come with the territory.
If a man picks a lavish outing and earns far more than I do then maybe he should account for that, saving some embarrassment for or feelings of another negative nature.
But this can only happen with a certain level of trust and communication. And dates can be way too soon in the process or completely unnecessary in the context. So maybe it's a little harder to achieve than we would like.
I always think agreeing to go Dutch is the best way on the easier to navigate bits. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I think women put in just as much effort, we just don't tend to broadcast it or moan about it.
Everyone should be fussy and because of that arranging good encounters takes effort, time and patience.
It is worth it though.
I think some people are wrongly thinking this is instashag.
While we might get more attention, it's not all good attention and takes a heck of a lot of effort to filter through to find the right people
I really don't think women put in as much effort as men
What do you mean by effort?
I think in terms of chasing women, men tend to more but women seem to put more effort into making the relationship work
Not all, but traditionally
But from personal experience, it's a lot more men in our inbox then women
.
We're not looking for women so our in box is going to be male centred, it seems even in couples it's mostly the man messaging.
I think the roles you assign to relationships probably appear correct on the surface but could that be because of the difference in the way *some* men and women to go about relationships, treating them like a points scoring exercise in some cases?
Yeah most of the couples I've spoke to have been the male.
Anyone who speaks to us is going to be talking to the woman Mr N just looks over my shoulder and says "you've gone too far this time!" "
Sister's in crime love you.x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
".... Have to work harder then women to secure dates, meets etc? Is it because males are more desperate they will take anything including selling their own sexuality for a shot with a woman?
Is this why males pester more?
And not just on the site but in general, men always have to work harder, arrange the date, pay, make the first move etc
Is it tradition or just arrogance on a woman's part?
"
I don't believe that arrogant women exist - especially on sites like this. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
".... Have to work harder then women to secure dates, meets etc? Is it because males are more desperate they will take anything including selling their own sexuality for a shot with a woman?
Is this why males pester more?
And not just on the site but in general, men always have to work harder, arrange the date, pay, make the first move etc
Is it tradition or just arrogance on a woman's part?
I don't believe that arrogant women exist - especially on sites like this. "
Clearly haven’t met my ex. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Would be handy if there were some rules though. Imean some women expect you to pay... Its a deal breaker. Some like it but dont mind. And some punch you on the nose at the notion of paying for them... Its a deal breaker. Help us out ladies... Pick a lane. "
I think there's a simple solution, just ask at the time .... Would you mind me paying? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"Is making the first move hard work for a man?
If I see someone I'm interested in on a night out I'll smile at him. If he's interested he'll smile back and approach me. I'll offer to buy a drink, or offer to get them if he asks first.
Is that hard work?
Do men think being turned down by women who aren't interested in them is hard work?
Certainly not a great feeling when you get rejected so just getting the courage to approach a lass is hard work.
I imagine it can be embarrassing or dejecting but they must know that every woman they approach can't be interested, or not available.
I wouldn't call it hard work though.
Why is it you won’t approach a guy then out of interest?"
I would if I were looking for a relationship, and saw someone I thought might also be interested.
At my age most men are in committed relationships , and I rarely go anywhere to meet men in my age bracket.
If I'm out with my sister we're usually in a pub and I'm not interested in the men who drink there.
I'm not much of a catch to be fair. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
".... Have to work harder then women to secure dates, meets etc? Is it because males are more desperate they will take anything including selling their own sexuality for a shot with a woman?
Is this why males pester more?
And not just on the site but in general, men always have to work harder, arrange the date, pay, make the first move etc
Is it tradition or just arrogance on a woman's part?
"
I work in an office full of women and they do nothing but talk about how great each other are and how much they hate men and think they are stupid. I’m treated like a leper. I work my ass off and take care of all my affairs without complaint, they just moan about their privileges. Help |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"'selling their own sexuality', not sure what you mean."
It means that straight guys will suddenly become bisexual if they think they have a shot at the woman
That's the desperate lengths some will go to |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Look to nature.
The birds and other animals.
It’s always the male that has to show his suitability and primacy to interest a female in wanting to breed with home for strong healthy young.
On a very basic level we’re just animals still. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Look to nature.
The birds and other animals.
It’s always the male that has to show his suitability and primacy to interest a female in wanting to breed with home for strong healthy young.
On a very basic level we’re just animals still. "
Exactly, males are built essentially to come and go.
Unless you're a female antelope. They're the equivalent of your basic fab male who won't take no for an answer |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We have the power on here, get over it.
This attitude certainly helps "
I’d like to see your attitude when a woman is being unfairly treated outside of fab. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Men seem to be more desperate.
Most woman have higher standards. The amount of men to woman on the this site is heavily male.
So woman have more options.
I for one am picky. I dont want sex. I want good sex. With guys who are respectful.
Tbh, most guys ruin it for themselves with boring messages or dull profiles. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We have the power on here, get over it.
This attitude certainly helps
I’d like to see your attitude when a woman is being unfairly treated outside of fab. "
Men are quick to realise that there is a power imbalance when they find themselves at the wrong receiving end… |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Never been asked to sell my sexuality, I wonder if I'd get much for it? Like the rest of me it's slightly scuffed."
Technically most on here are slightly scuffed, used and been through many users but if it works that's the main thing brother |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We have the power on here, get over it."
While that is true, I think it can be helped if some guys didn't see any hole as a goal and rattle off a message to every woman on the site. Every so often I'll have a browse locally and for all the stick men get about their profiles, I have seen some genuinely shit women's profiles and yet they can still afford to be picky with the lack of effort they put in. It boggles my tiny mind... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Men seem to be more desperate.
Most woman have higher standards. The amount of men to woman on the this site is heavily male.
So woman have more options.
I for one am picky. I dont want sex. I want good sex. With guys who are respectful.
Tbh, most guys ruin it for themselves with boring messages or dull profiles. "
This |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We have the power on here, get over it.
While that is true, I think it can be helped if some guys didn't see any hole as a goal and rattle off a message to every woman on the site. Every so often I'll have a browse locally and for all the stick men get about their profiles, I have seen some genuinely shit women's profiles and yet they can still afford to be picky with the lack of effort they put in. It boggles my tiny mind..."
It is also the reflection of the wider society. How men see us. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I don't think they actually do though, very few men put in any effort.
They might chase and pester, but that's not the same as requesting a social, arranging a time and place, and turning up, looking half decent and buying the coffee!
Exactly this. The "effort" men put in seems to be to have a half arsed attempt at a profile (songle man looking for women and couples, a few pics of their dick). A message saying, "you're fit, lets fuck tonight."
Not reading our carefully put together profiles, which state our preferences.
I have had to arrange the meets I have had, setting the time and place. If it is not me travelling to meet them, it is me having to make sure that my house is spotless because they can't accomodate. Usually because they still live at home, or shared house, or are doing the dirty on their partner.
We may get a lot of messages, but I see women as having to put in way more effort. "
This!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We have the power on here, get over it.
While that is true, I think it can be helped if some guys didn't see any hole as a goal and rattle off a message to every woman on the site. Every so often I'll have a browse locally and for all the stick men get about their profiles, I have seen some genuinely shit women's profiles and yet they can still afford to be picky with the lack of effort they put in. It boggles my tiny mind...
It is also the reflection of the wider society. How men see us."
*Some men, of course but yeah, that's a fair point. I'd like to think it's slowly changing though, if not quickly enough! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We have the power on here, get over it.
You don't
That’s why you did that thread "
Someone working harder in life doesn't automatically give someone else complete power. If anything, it just makes them lazier |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We have the power on here, get over it.
You don't
That’s why you did that thread
Someone working harder in life doesn't automatically give someone else complete power. If anything, it just makes them lazier "
Keep telling that to yourself while I am enjoying the power of my pussy |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"We have the power on here, get over it.
You don't
That’s why you did that thread
Someone working harder in life doesn't automatically give someone else complete power. If anything, it just makes them lazier
Keep telling that to yourself while I am enjoying the power of my pussy "
You don't hold anything over me. Good day ma'am |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Men outnumber women at a rate of about 500 to 1. It’s just supply and demand. Women will always hold the power on here and the scene in general
Mr"
The numbers mean nothing. Unless of course you fall into the trap of believing that ratios are the most important thing and that individuals can't co trol their own interactions and behaviour.
There could be 100 women for every man and still many would fail to get meets on here because they act and behave in a way that doesn't attract and interest people.
The same with couples.
There are plenty of men living a full and happy swinging life on Fab and having little to complain about, because they don't allow number imbalances to impact how they use the site, see themselves (rightly) as equals to women and couples and don't blame either the numbers or the actions of others for any rejections they get. They just get on with Fab life.
There's no hierarchy placing women on a pedestal. There's no unwritten rule saying men are beneath women and couples in any pecking order.
If people stopped peddling this BS and recognised that any lack of success is more down to lack of (the right kind of) effort, portraying themselves badly in profiles, sending crass messages and basically acting like a dog on heat, then maybe the myth that 'its all about the ratios' would disappear.
But hey. Its always much easier to blame numbers and the actions of others than to look inwards and recognise that your own worst enemy is yourself.
A |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
When I look at a lot of my last relationships. I did all the running. I made all the effort, I had to as they wouldn't. At the time I thought that was OK. Im a giver, an arranger and I love doing things for others. However looking back actually it wasn't ok.
Effort should be a two way street. If its not maybe they just aren't really that interested.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *4bimMan
over a year ago
Farnborough Hampshire |
"Society installs in us all that men are to pursue and women are to be pursued. Once you find the right person, there will be no chasing. Effort will be equal and a partnership will be born."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"When I look at a lot of my last relationships. I did all the running. I made all the effort, I had to as they wouldn't. At the time I thought that was OK. Im a giver, an arranger and I love doing things for others. However looking back actually it wasn't ok.
Effort should be a two way street. If its not maybe they just aren't really that interested.
"
Effort should be equal. I used to be like that. Was in a relationship last year and he put in hardly any effort, so I ended it. Not putting up with that any more. Same on here, the effort has to be reciprocated, although I do think the man should make the first move. It seems even in 2023 men much prefer to chase. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think women put in just as much effort, we just don't tend to broadcast it or moan about it.
Everyone should be fussy and because of that arranging good encounters takes effort, time and patience.
For me the latter paragraph hell yes I want my meet or meets to be special hope you have a great day
It is worth it though.
I think some people are wrongly thinking this is instashag.
While we might get more attention, it's not all good attention and takes a heck of a lot of effort to filter through to find the right people
"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Men outnumber women at a rate of about 500 to 1. It’s just supply and demand. Women will always hold the power on here and the scene in general
Mr
The numbers mean nothing. Unless of course you fall into the trap of believing that ratios are the most important thing and that individuals can't co trol their own interactions and behaviour.
There could be 100 women for every man and still many would fail to get meets on here because they act and behave in a way that doesn't attract and interest people.
The same with couples.
There are plenty of men living a full and happy swinging life on Fab and having little to complain about, because they don't allow number imbalances to impact how they use the site, see themselves (rightly) as equals to women and couples and don't blame either the numbers or the actions of others for any rejections they get. They just get on with Fab life.
There's no hierarchy placing women on a pedestal. There's no unwritten rule saying men are beneath women and couples in any pecking order.
If people stopped peddling this BS and recognised that any lack of success is more down to lack of (the right kind of) effort, portraying themselves badly in profiles, sending crass messages and basically acting like a dog on heat, then maybe the myth that 'its all about the ratios' would disappear.
But hey. Its always much easier to blame numbers and the actions of others than to look inwards and recognise that your own worst enemy is yourself.
A"
I quite literally never said any of that but your assumptions are appreciated. My point was that women outnumber men to such a degree on here that they have more to choose from. So the guys who put barely any effort into their messages, profile and generally how they behave, will always struggle to be the guys who get a response from single ladies.
At what point did I say men are beneath women? I simply pointed out that the demand is far higher than the supply, so the power of choice and selection will always sit with women. To deny that fact simply because it doesn’t align with your personal view doesn’t make sense.
I’ve been on the scene for many years both as a single guy and now as part of couple so I understand those two perspectives at least and what I’ve said is simply what I’ve seen and learnt in my time.
But hey, what do I know, I’m just out here peddling my BS
Mr |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"When I look at a lot of my last relationships. I did all the running. I made all the effort, I had to as they wouldn't. At the time I thought that was OK. Im a giver, an arranger and I love doing things for others. However looking back actually it wasn't ok.
Effort should be a two way street. If its not maybe they just aren't really that interested.
Effort should be equal. I used to be like that. Was in a relationship last year and he put in hardly any effort, so I ended it. Not putting up with that any more. Same on here, the effort has to be reciprocated, although I do think the man should make the first move. It seems even in 2023 men much prefer to chase."
I love the traditional men chasing women, flowers, courtship etc
I just think it's a lot lot easier for women and I firmly stand by that |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"When I look at a lot of my last relationships. I did all the running. I made all the effort, I had to as they wouldn't. At the time I thought that was OK. Im a giver, an arranger and I love doing things for others. However looking back actually it wasn't ok.
Effort should be a two way street. If its not maybe they just aren't really that interested.
"
I think that's one of the hardest things to accept isn't it?
I'm very much a people pleaser. Love doing it. But in one relationship, as much as I enjoyed organising things, it became almost expected that I'd do everything. Because "women don't normally do that", he was always the one to plan things etc.
At first I loved it.
Over time I realised I was investing the energy and headspace into sorting things out. While freeing up his to plan things with other women.
I didn't really feel particularly loved or valued towards the end of it. Now, I want it to be equal. I don't need to be waiting for attention, effort from someone when there are so many more who'll be willing to meet me halfway.
So yes, it's lovely when men are more proactive - if they plan a date/a social. Makes me feel wanted. At the same time, I want to make someone else feel wanted.
If someone isn't making the effort with you, they're just not that into you. Regardless of gender. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
