FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Unexpected visitor.
Unexpected visitor.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So there I am naked, with a man, on my bed in my own home and it's just the two of us.
And then the front door opens. No knock first. It's left unlocked during awake hours if I'm home. My ex has turned up with the small me's as one of them wants something from the house. The small me in question just walks in and goes to get what they are after the others don't enter the house. Meanwhile naked man is left in my bedroom and the initial wtf from both us is like we've been having some sordid affair and the husband had just walked in the house. How awkward for both of us!
Should the ex have turned up when I hadn't answered a call from him an hour before? He knew I had no car. So I'm guessing he assumed I was home. But I still could have been out. And I could have had friends round, or been asleep, or naked... Which I was.
(and by posting this in a forum I now realise no one is ever going to come to me and I've just shot myself in the foot in that)
I have full consent from said naked man to post. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's the difficulties of blended lives with otherwise clear distinctions
Ideal, no? Innocent enough in the pursuit of the child's immediate needs, yeah.
Something you want to discuss in the future? Probably.
A funny story in the making. Oh indeed. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The ex had to drive them across town so doesn't it fall on him to check.
He was a tad shitty with me when I said he shouldn't turn up if I haven't answered messages or calls. |
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By *lexV16Man
over a year ago
Welling |
No, he should not. I am on amicable terms with my ex and she has keys to my house as we share parental responsibility so she can turn up and get kids stuff but only with prior chat and explicit permission. Can’t imagine any of us turn up by the door unannounced let alone entring house without even knocking |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m assuming the child that entered the house lives with you. If that’s the case then I don’t see the problem. The ex didn’t enter the property and the child just came home. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
If the small was less small and was out alone but popped back for something without warning, how would you feel about that?
I feel that the ex was just doing as the small wanted, and that's a good thing. Not ideal in the circumstances, but not actually wrong. But I guess it also depends on whether the ex just walked in and poked about as well.
I also think that if you aren't comfortable with it then talk to the ex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So there I am naked, with a man, on my bed in my own home and it's just the two of us.
And then the front door opens. No knock first. It's left unlocked during awake hours if I'm home. My ex has turned up with the small me's as one of them wants something from the house. The small me in question just walks in and goes to get what they are after the others don't enter the house. Meanwhile naked man is left in my bedroom and the initial wtf from both us is like we've been having some sordid affair and the husband had just walked in the house. How awkward for both of us!
Should the ex have turned up when I hadn't answered a call from him an hour before? He knew I had no car. So I'm guessing he assumed I was home. But I still could have been out. And I could have had friends round, or been asleep, or naked... Which I was.
(and by posting this in a forum I now realise no one is ever going to come to me and I've just shot myself in the foot in that)
I have full consent from said naked man to post. "
Do a film
Carry on Petitelady
Be a winner
Or
Confessions of petitelady  |
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This is a tricky one and depends what relationship you have/want with your ex and whether you want the children to feel like they can drop home whenever they want even when with dad.
At least you were in the bedroom and not on the sofa 
Seems like said naked man found the funny side so no harm done 
I have a teenage son who is in 6th form so just appears when I think he should be at school etc. It has dampened the extra curricula fun for me for a while as thats my worst nightmare.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fair enough the child wanted something from home so the ex drove them round, I'd have no issue with that.
But, I'd always have my door locked so anyone arriving unexpected had to knock.
Also, how many nutcases are there in the world now, you never know if any random person or thief will ever take an opportunity to try your door and just walk in. If you was in the shower or had music on as an example you'd never hear them walk in.  |
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You said you didn’t answer a call from him an hour earlier so it sounds like he attempted to call ahead first to check.
Yes, you were busy but then you could have just locked the door and then he’d just assume you were out when he called round…
I suspect you won’t make that mistake again
These things happen - I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault - it’s an innocent thing to happen.
K |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So there I am naked, with a man, on my bed in my own home and it's just the two of us.
And then the front door opens. No knock first. It's left unlocked during awake hours if I'm home. My ex has turned up with the small me's as one of them wants something from the house. The small me in question just walks in and goes to get what they are after the others don't enter the house. Meanwhile naked man is left in my bedroom and the initial wtf from both us is like we've been having some sordid affair and the husband had just walked in the house. How awkward for both of us!
Should the ex have turned up when I hadn't answered a call from him an hour before? He knew I had no car. So I'm guessing he assumed I was home. But I still could have been out. And I could have had friends round, or been asleep, or naked... Which I was.
(and by posting this in a forum I now realise no one is ever going to come to me and I've just shot myself in the foot in that)
I have full consent from said naked man to post. "
Can’t see much of and issue here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So he tried calling you which you never responded too. I think depending on what it was the child wanted then him popping the child round was justified, he waited an hour for a response which is reasonable I think. Child probably doesn't realise that they need permission to enter their own home while in the care of the father.
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"The ex would have walked in if I had said some thin gnome from upstairs asking why they had shown up.
And yes I should lock the door. Lessoned learned. "
Sorry the typos made it impossible to get what you meant matey. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The ex would have walked in if I had said some thin gnome from upstairs asking why they had shown up.
And yes I should lock the door. Lessoned learned.
Sorry the typos made it impossible to get what you meant matey."
The ex would have walked in if I had said something from upstairs asking why they had shown up.
And yes I should lock the door. Lessoned learned. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The ex would have walked in if I had said some thin gnome from upstairs asking why they had shown up.
And yes I should lock the door. Lessoned learned.
Sorry the typos made it impossible to get what you meant matey.
The ex would have walked in if I had said something from upstairs asking why they had shown up.
And yes I should lock the door. Lessoned learned."
*hadnt |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You said you didn’t answer a call from him an hour earlier so it sounds like he attempted to call ahead first to check.
Yes, you were busy but then you could have just locked the door and then he’d just assume you were out when he called round…
I suspect you won’t make that mistake again
These things happen - I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault - it’s an innocent thing to happen.
K"
This  |
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Your ex tried to ring you, probably to ask if you were home so they could come and collect what they wanted.
But you didn't answer the call.
I'm going to assume that your children live with you the majority of the time?
If so, it's there home as much as yours, so they've as much right to just walk into it, as you do
Id probably reccommend locking the door if you have company of the naked kind in future.
And answering your phone when the person who is caring for your children tries to contact you. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
It's not something I took notes on but I can't remember anyone not locking the door when we met, either by key or deadbolt. Upping and walking out of their house wasn't something done, they always seemed to see me out at the door. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Bang out of order :
I would never approach the building with out confirmation .
Unless a desperate emergency of a item immediately needed - Wich I very doubt .
and would knock , shout the name of bell wouldn’t work .
Enter the permisses with out permission I find it extremelly rude .
even being harmless . |
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Honest opinion.
Yes he shouldn’t just walk in without confirming his arrival children or not.
But you should really lock your door when you have visitors. And do not wishes to be disturbed.
The mr |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The ex had to drive them across town so doesn't it fall on him to check.
He was a tad shitty with me when I said he shouldn't turn up if I haven't answered messages or calls. "
Shows a distinct lack of respect, communication is still key between adults especially with the kids, has all the makings of something to giggle about in the future, life’s too short eh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve always locked my door when on a meet I even lock it when I’m home alone, my young adults have keys but they always let me know if they are coming around |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it's always awkward for the current partner when the ex arrives unexpectedly regardless of situation.
But yes, he shouldn't of just turned up...regardless of what he's doing he could of phoned again once outside to see if you was available |
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I would be fuming with him, its disrespectful!
Theres precious little that a small needs to get belatedly, that couldnt have waited, I suspect.
It sounds like inappropriate behaviour on his part.
He should have waited for a response. |
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"Honest opinion.
Yes he shouldn’t just walk in without confirming his arrival children or not.
But you should really lock your door when you have visitors. And do not wishes to be disturbed.
The mr "
Did he walk in? the op said the child walked in and everyone else stayed outside. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Surprised at some of the harsher comments expressed.
I would want to know more in order to comment properly, like how old was small me and how important was the thing he wanted?
If I was in your ex's position, I would not have driven over if no answer to my call.
He should have knocked.
But you've learnt keep your door locked.
Hope you get an opportunity to discuss ground rules with him in an amicable manner.
Good luck. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Honest opinion.
Yes he shouldn’t just walk in without confirming his arrival children or not.
But you should really lock your door when you have visitors. And do not wishes to be disturbed.
The mr
Did he walk in? the op said the child walked in and everyone else stayed outside."
Surely that's pretty crap of the ex if true. No answer to the phone call but the door was unlocked. OP could have been injured or attacked- child would have found her. |
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"So he tried calling you which you never responded too. I think depending on what it was the child wanted then him popping the child round was justified, he waited an hour for a response which is reasonable I think. Child probably doesn't realise that they need permission to enter their own home while in the care of the father.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When me and C met for the first time something really similar happened and I thought she was secretly married!! We laugh about it now but at the time it was so awkward 
Mr |
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Shouldn't have just turned up and should have checked was ok first 
