FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Desperately seeking...
Desperately seeking...
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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attention.
Yep, it's inspired by another thread.
I think we all seek attention to some degree or another on here. Whether via photos, statuses, forum posts/threads. Is it a bad thing in your eyes? Do you seek attention? Are you aware when you're doing it? |
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I don't post pictures of my boobies for nobody to look at them. 
But in all seriousness Fab would be like the lonely hearts section in a newspaper, if people didn't attention seek. This site works on everyone looking for attention, be it fabs on photos or responses on the forum. There are plenty of threads asking how to get on the top page or that there are cliques here.
I think it's only negative when people aren't aware of it or become too focused on gaining that attention, to the detriment of not seeing what they have as they chase more fab popularity. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't use the word desperate, as that has negative connotations. I would say confidently. And I think thats fine."
It was more a snazzy intro rather than a reflection of my views. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Yeah I mean I don't get it in the "real world" so would be nice to get some here"
I'm not going to patronise because it's Sunday morning and no one needs that. You know you better than I do. There's nothing wrong with wanting what you don't get in the "real world" on here.  |
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"I don't post pictures of my boobies for nobody to look at them.
But in all seriousness Fab would be like the lonely hearts section in a newspaper, if people didn't attention seek. This site works on everyone looking for attention, be it fabs on photos or responses on the forum. There are plenty of threads asking how to get on the top page or that there are cliques here.
I think it's only negative when people aren't aware of it or become too focused on gaining that attention, to the detriment of not seeing what they have as they chase more fab popularity. "
Sound point, why would you not post pics for people to look at?
But then I've seen people criticised for not having pics
Oh great gods of fab please tell us how many pics I should have on our profile |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I do dress to seek attention I must admit ha "
And that's absolutely fine.
I do it sometimes. That extra button undone on a cute summer dress. A bit more skin on show. Fuck it, it's nice to get appreciative looks. And hot women who want to kiss you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think everyone needs some attention in one form or another. And who doesn’t like it when they get some attention off people they find attractive?! We love getting fabs, winks and messages from people! Who doesn’t enjoy that attention? |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Yes, I post a lot of pics so I guess that’s attention seeking.
"
It is in its own way. It's nice to upload them though, even if you don't want them to be Fabbed. They're still seen by others. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Validation, yes we all do seek it I believe. But attention, it comes in levels. I actually find it quite uncomfortable to watch when people are over the top with it. I'm not sure if it's low self esteem, the need for everyone to be constantly fawning over them or just wanting to be popular. Whatever the reason, its hard to see. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I don't post pictures of my boobies for nobody to look at them.
But in all seriousness Fab would be like the lonely hearts section in a newspaper, if people didn't attention seek. This site works on everyone looking for attention, be it fabs on photos or responses on the forum. There are plenty of threads asking how to get on the top page or that there are cliques here.
I think it's only negative when people aren't aware of it or become too focused on gaining that attention, to the detriment of not seeing what they have as they chase more fab popularity. "
You have great boobs, thank you for your selfless contribution to this weird old place. 
Yes, you're right. We need people to want some form of attention or without it the site wouldn't work.
There can definitely be a potential negative element to it - it can affect people and damage their self confidence if they don't get the attention they're hoping for. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I don't think I desperately seek attention on here or anywhere else. I'd be pretty dissappointed if I did as most of my posts get ignored on her.But that's fine as I don't need to be one of the popular ones on here or in life outside of here,now that I think about it.
I post pics because I like them and yes getting a few fabs on them can be a bit of a boost at times I'll admit that. I never thought I'd ever post pics of me in lingerie a few years ago.
I like the forums they can be interesting to read and post on. My filters I keep tight as I don't want a lot of messages on here that I won't reply to as I don't see the point. I don't chat to many nor do I do groups off here anymore.Too much drama or info sharing in most of the ones I was in before put me off them.
So I suppose by posting pics I do like some attention but I don't crave or need it to be content in myself. |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
I think everyone likes some kind of positive attention whether that's through chatting or fabs etc.
But I post pictures for myself, I obviously hope people like them and get some lever of enjoyment out of them. But I never really look to see if its being fabbed etc because I wouldn't want the ego dent if it wasn't 
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think we all do or we wouldn't be here.
I'm very aware that sometimes I feel a bit starved of attention in the real world so sometimes that's when I'm most active on here.
I'll never not want to be told I'm attractive, I'll never believe it but still love to hear it and if honest that's why I returned.
I know most of it is false flattery and quite meaningless but sometimes that's enough to give a little boost.
So yes, I'll take all the ego stroking I can get and I'm never going to feel bad about that. |
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Sometimes attention is wanted and I will do what I can to get it. Other times I have no desire for it at all. Infact I would say it turns me off completely. It all depends on my mood on the day.
Jo.Xx |
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If I post a pic or a status I don’t do it to seek attention as some kind of validation - it is because I want to meet and nothing else.
I personally think trying to get validation from people you don’t know via likes/fabs is a strange concept but then I don’t really get social media and how it has shaped peoples view of the world. |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Validation, yes we all do seek it I believe. But attention, it comes in levels. I actually find it quite uncomfortable to watch when people are over the top with it. I'm not sure if it's low self esteem, the need for everyone to be constantly fawning over them or just wanting to be popular. Whatever the reason, its hard to see."
Yep 
I guess it's different strokes for different folks.
Some need adulation via pic fabs and are desperate to reach the dizzy heights of page 1.
Some need to be watched fapping furiously on cam.
Others need to appear in any one of the forum threads about who's hottest, who's in your dream 3some, who has the best tits/arse/kneecap?
Others want to rack up a veri list as long as war and peace.
Some need to post hundreds of near identical photos of their tits/dick as if the more photos they post the more attractive it/they become.
A few need to start as many forum posts as possible to seek as much interaction as possible and stay constantly in the forum thread listing.
But remember, whatever anyone types in here and whatever opinions are expressed - we're the 1% club. The tiny minority of site users that probably chat more than we shag others.
If you asked the other 99% they'd probably consider us all attention seekers just for using the forums. 
A |
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Only looking for attention from those I’d be attracted to / interested in knowing. But these people have to know I exist for me to have their attention
I could not care less if I’m fab popular. Nothing at all wrong with people who do, it’s just not my style. |
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I agree that to a certain extent everyone wants some form of attention in one way or another, otherwise why would we even be here.
We go through phases. When we are actively swinging and in the right zone, we perhaps actively do more.
At other times it's the last thing on our minds.
Depends on when, where, and why. |
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I don’t think it’s a bad thing Meli. This website thrives on attention, in one way or another, either is giving on receiving.
I can only speak for myself but I have a very stressful, uneventful and routine based life outside fab and being on here gives me this little boost and validation I didn’t know I needed so much.
Not desperately seeking it but gratefully welcoming it when it happens. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m conflicted.
I genuinely prefer a lack of attention in the real world and prefer a quiet life, yet when I have to get up & perform, I want to be noticed & have people appreciate what I do… and once the spotlight’s off I’m back to a quiet life
On here, as a single male I long ago accepted I’d be a small fish in a massive ocean (no, not even that big a fish, more like plankton) so as a result, I don’t waste mental energy agonising over whether anyone’s looked at me, or whether anyone would be at all interested
Any interest is purely a bonus |
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"Only looking for attention from those I’d be attracted to / interested in knowing. But these people have to know I exist for me to have their attention
I could not care less if I’m fab popular. Nothing at all wrong with people who do, it’s just not my style."
Now that answer got my attention |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Is getting noticed seeking attention?
I tend to shy away from attention, but being here involves an element of wanting to noticed"
I really did choose the opening sentence because it's early and I wanted something that made me smile and would get people talking.
I think if you want people to notice you, you do want their attention. Attention seeking is one end of the spectrum and automatically where our mind goes to when we talk about attention.
It can be more subtle than that though, on the other end of the spectrum. Wanting to be noticed by those who you might be compatible with. Who you're friendly with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't get a vast amount in the real world. I'm one of the many guys who has a cock shot as their profile pic but on the occasions I do get a compliment it does make me feel a little more sexually valid than before. |
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I only want it from my meaningful pursuits. From anyone else it's shallow and easily disregarded, so I don't seek it willy nilly for that purpose. Happily not having lots of people fawn over me, only the ones who I care about is enough for me |
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If I start a thread I rarely return to it because it then becomes about me rather than the subject.
In all my years on here I've only ever had one thread that had more than 30 replies so I certainly don't post for attention.
If I post on someone else's thread it's because I have experience of the subject. I don't give opinions on anything I don't have experience of so once again it's never done for attention.
The same is true for posting pics. If I was doing that for attention I would have given up a long time ago because none of my pics get double figure fabs straight away.
I enjoy taking them and that's the only reason I post them. If others like them that's a bonus.
There's nothing wrong with seeking attention or validation except when it's done to divert attention from your true intentions.
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"Yeah, we all do in some way or another. You have to grab people’s attention in order to be successful on here and stand out from thousands of others. "
Exactly. Sure, if you're a woman you can have a blank profile and receive a deluge of cock pictures and wuu2 messages. But if you want to be noticed by the right person/people for you, you make an effort to get their attention. |
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On here, I only posted pictures with the intention of attracting those that I would like to enjoy dalliances with. Of course, the fabs and compliments are an added bonus in the form of ego stroking. But I'm very comfortable and confident in my own skin, and don't need that external validation.
It makes me a little sad to see those people that seem truly desperate for the shallow aesthetic external validation to be found on here. You can see in their status updates, posts, daily picture uploads, and even their deleting and re-adding of the same pictures on a frequent basis that they seem to need others to tell them they're attractive because they don't believe it themselves. I'm not sure if it's healthy because they seem to rely on that rather than working on their self acceptance, and you can sometimes see the need turning to almost panic when there's a lull in that feedback. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
Great question and it’s be debated before, a lot!
I think that everyone on here is looking for attention of some sort, if they weren’t then they wouldn’t have a profile or post anything ever.
The issue always seems to be where people judge others on the level of attention seeking, where they draw a personal line as to what they consider ‘too much’ and if others step over that line, then decry that behaviour.
It’s another case of personal morality being used as a stick to judge everyone else by and expecting everyone to adhere to our own personal standards, which never happens.
Live and let live is the simple answer, if no one is being hurt, then what does it matter? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Good question and the answer is yes, that’s what draws me back in every now & then, some attention / validation.
There’s definitely levels of attention seeking on the site & I don’t see anything wrong with it, although some can get a tad cringe at times. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm very subtle in the ways I seek attention. A ninja attention seeker, if you will. You ain't seen me, right? 
We all have our own story and reasons for being here. I don't see attention seeking as a negative thing. Crack on and do what you have to do. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"attention.
Yep, it's inspired by another thread.
I think we all seek attention to some degree or another on here. Whether via photos, statuses, forum posts/threads. Is it a bad thing in your eyes? Do you seek attention? Are you aware when you're doing it? "
Hello Meli , fabbers …
Yeah 100% fully aware of it . most of it is more missing meet and have someone then sex itself . |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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"I always find the realisation that we can judge people for judging others to be the moment that cracks me up "
We all judge don't we? I think we can be comfortable in that knowledge, accepting of that fact without sharing that judgement unfairly.
A myriad of things can make someone eyeroll on here. It could be someone's way of seeking attention doesn't align with their own. Heck, it could be my waffle (it has been undoubtedly). I think the way things are handled is the most telling thing. |
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I don’t actively seek attention. I’d rather sit at the back and watch. But it’s nice when you make the effort ( I.e the photos ) and you get the appreciation. But doing the photos we do draws attention I may not like it to a certain extent but there’s no escaping it really.
The mr |
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I used to when I was first on here, seeking what I didn't get in real life, it dodnt put me in a great place at times if it didnt happen.
Now I do because I feel like it, if I think I look good in a pic I'll post it, if I feel like commenting something on a thread I will, and not much care is given on the response I get to them.
Tinder x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m needy.
Damn, I’m happy shouting one lines and quick replies from the sidelines, but fab is much more enjoyable with interactions. Who is in here without the need for attention, or doesn’t want attention should go and find a hobby. *just my opinion. Because I don’t see what you’d get out of it.
I want attention, from 4 hot women, I wish they’d call me 
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I’m fine with it, though I do cringe at a lot of updates. I think the main thing is to know when you are seeking attention, and to also know why you are doing so. In short, it’s important to be ‘conscious’ about your attention seeking-since you will learn more about yourself. |
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"I always find the realisation that we can judge people for judging others to be the moment that cracks me up
We all judge don't we? I think we can be comfortable in that knowledge, accepting of that fact without sharing that judgement unfairly.
A myriad of things can make someone eyeroll on here. It could be someone's way of seeking attention doesn't align with their own. Heck, it could be my waffle (it has been undoubtedly). I think the way things are handled is the most telling thing."
I think we view the world through the lens of our emotions. We just tend to be in our brains so much, we forget that and fall into the trap of thinking we are objective.
I agree, it is the way we handle it. I would say also though, if someone fumbles the ball and has a meltdown - that's very human. If we show acceptance - the vast majority of people will own their feelings.
Odd creatures you humans - sometimes I'd almost like to be one myself... Almost. |
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Generally if I catch myself seeking attention, it's more with the aim of getting the attention of certain people, with the cost of dealing with whoever else's attention it attracts.
I don't think it's a bad thing in itself. But it depends on how people go about it and how often. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Generally if I catch myself seeking attention, it's more with the aim of getting the attention of certain people, with the cost of dealing with whoever else's attention it attracts.
I don't think it's a bad thing in itself. But it depends on how people go about it and how often."
I see you |
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Anything else is a bonus 