Don't you hate it when people ask that after a message or two? I would assume everyone would have limits and of course context always matters. Why not wait and find out rather than plan everything in the minutest detail. Silly question or justified? I am sure opinions will differ but that's just mine  |
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I don't think there's anything wrong with asking beforehand. You don't want to be in the throws of passion, try something they really don't like and kill the mood. Establishing boundaries in advance is important.
Beth x |
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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago
Ilkeston |
It all depends on what sort of play you are into if its particular kink that they after it makes some sense as if its not what your into then i suppose theres no point in continuing the conversation. But in general i would be the same i would want to have more chat first |
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"Don't you hate it when people ask that after a message or two? I would assume everyone would have limits and of course context always matters. Why not wait and find out rather than plan everything in the minutest detail. Silly question or justified? I am sure opinions will differ but that's just mine "
'Wait to find out' is definitely easier as a guy. I'm more than happy to go with the flow but can completely understand a woman setting boundaries before a meet. Drawing a boundary isn't planning a meet in detail. It's a basic list of 'do not likes' |
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
I think its a fair question. I have them and if someone wants to know to help establish if we have the same turn ons then ask away.
Just for the record mine limits are:
Daddy
pee
poo
pain and blood.
I only share my cheesecake with a limited few. |
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"It all depends on what sort of play you are into if its particular kink that they after it makes some sense as if its not what your into then i suppose theres no point in continuing the conversation. But in general i would be the same i would want to have more chat first "
Yes, that's exactly what I meant. Asking that after the first message or two before a but more of a chat just seems a bit weird though I do appreciate people saying that is good to establish boundaries etc. Timing is important, me thinks  |
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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago
Ilkeston |
"It all depends on what sort of play you are into if its particular kink that they after it makes some sense as if its not what your into then i suppose theres no point in continuing the conversation. But in general i would be the same i would want to have more chat first
Yes, that's exactly what I meant. Asking that after the first message or two before a but more of a chat just seems a bit weird though I do appreciate people saying that is good to establish boundaries etc. Timing is important, me thinks "
It’s difficult one as everyone is different and no one shape fits all holes.
Theres been times im glad it was early as we wanted different things and thats fine it meant the expectations were clear and it went no where because we knew that.
But then its how early is too early |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Planing out saves time
Saves people time being wasted
If say they in to something I am not
Or in saves a bad experience if say someone assumes someone is in to something and they not
Go to try mid meet and the other person stops play
Can lead to dangers things or uncomfortable or one person felling disatfide with the meet
So it’s best to get compatibility out the way and gude lines drawn as early as possible that way
Both parties times aren’t being wasted if say there’s a blocker or a sticking point
Yous can part ways ither as pen pals and drop a hello how are you doing ever now and then
Or just part was never to speak again
|
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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago
Ilkeston |
"Planing out saves time
Saves people time being wasted
If say they in to something I am not
Or in saves a bad experience if say someone assumes someone is in to something and they not
Go to try mid meet and the other person stops play
Can lead to dangers things or uncomfortable or one person felling disatfide with the meet
So it’s best to get compatibility out the way and gude lines drawn as early as possible that way
Both parties times aren’t being wasted if say there’s a blocker or a sticking point
Yous can part ways ither as pen pals and drop a hello how are you doing ever now and then
Or just part was never to speak again
"
Exactly that its always good to know from the onset even if its not a detailed list |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Planing out saves time
Saves people time being wasted
If say they in to something I am not
Or in saves a bad experience if say someone assumes someone is in to something and they not
Go to try mid meet and the other person stops play
Can lead to dangers things or uncomfortable or one person felling disatfide with the meet
So it’s best to get compatibility out the way and gude lines drawn as early as possible that way
Both parties times aren’t being wasted if say there’s a blocker or a sticking point
Yous can part ways ither as pen pals and drop a hello how are you doing ever now and then
Or just part was never to speak again
Exactly that its always good to know from the onset even if its not a detailed list "
Yes it is that it
It’s the reason my profile is a wall off text set out so that I am cutting down on things before they even message me |
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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago
Ilkeston |
"Planing out saves time
Saves people time being wasted
If say they in to something I am not
Or in saves a bad experience if say someone assumes someone is in to something and they not
Go to try mid meet and the other person stops play
Can lead to dangers things or uncomfortable or one person felling disatfide with the meet
So it’s best to get compatibility out the way and gude lines drawn as early as possible that way
Both parties times aren’t being wasted if say there’s a blocker or a sticking point
Yous can part ways ither as pen pals and drop a hello how are you doing ever now and then
Or just part was never to speak again
Exactly that its always good to know from the onset even if its not a detailed list
Yes it is that it
It’s the reason my profile is a wall off text set out so that I am cutting down on things before they even message me "
That’s actually a pretty good idea may have to do it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Well a conversation first before a social, then limits discussed before things go further. Though through conversation you should have covered the basics anyway.
Asked in messages too soon puts me off someone. Limits are or can be very personal to people. |
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"Well a conversation first before a social, then limits discussed before things go further. Though through conversation you should have covered the basics anyway.
Asked in messages too soon puts me off someone. Limits are or can be very personal to people. "
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Planing out saves time
Saves people time being wasted
If say they in to something I am not
Or in saves a bad experience if say someone assumes someone is in to something and they not
Go to try mid meet and the other person stops play
Can lead to dangers things or uncomfortable or one person felling disatfide with the meet
So it’s best to get compatibility out the way and gude lines drawn as early as possible that way
Both parties times aren’t being wasted if say there’s a blocker or a sticking point
Yous can part ways ither as pen pals and drop a hello how are you doing ever now and then
Or just part was never to speak again
Exactly that its always good to know from the onset even if its not a detailed list
Yes it is that it
It’s the reason my profile is a wall off text set out so that I am cutting down on things before they even message me
That’s actually a pretty good idea may have to do it "
It is if they read I find only like 20% read but it’s still there to help guide others |
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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago
Ilkeston |
"Planing out saves time
Saves people time being wasted
If say they in to something I am not
Or in saves a bad experience if say someone assumes someone is in to something and they not
Go to try mid meet and the other person stops play
Can lead to dangers things or uncomfortable or one person felling disatfide with the meet
So it’s best to get compatibility out the way and gude lines drawn as early as possible that way
Both parties times aren’t being wasted if say there’s a blocker or a sticking point
Yous can part ways ither as pen pals and drop a hello how are you doing ever now and then
Or just part was never to speak again
Exactly that its always good to know from the onset even if its not a detailed list
Yes it is that it
It’s the reason my profile is a wall off text set out so that I am cutting down on things before they even message me
That’s actually a pretty good idea may have to do it
It is if they read I find only like 20% read but it’s still there to help guide others "
That is very true! If only there was a way to make sure people actually read it |
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I hate it when people ask that after a message or two as well.
I have different limits depending on who I'm with for example, I would not do breath play with someone I have only just meet, but someone I trust over year of playing then I would.
Again bondage I would only do little bondage with some new e.g. my cuffs that I can get out of.
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Planing out saves time
Saves people time being wasted
If say they in to something I am not
Or in saves a bad experience if say someone assumes someone is in to something and they not
Go to try mid meet and the other person stops play
Can lead to dangers things or uncomfortable or one person felling disatfide with the meet
So it’s best to get compatibility out the way and gude lines drawn as early as possible that way
Both parties times aren’t being wasted if say there’s a blocker or a sticking point
Yous can part ways ither as pen pals and drop a hello how are you doing ever now and then
Or just part was never to speak again
Exactly that its always good to know from the onset even if its not a detailed list
Yes it is that it
It’s the reason my profile is a wall off text set out so that I am cutting down on things before they even message me
That’s actually a pretty good idea may have to do it
It is if they read I find only like 20% read but it’s still there to help guide others
That is very true! If only there was a way to make sure people actually read it "
There is a way hide a key in the wall off text somewhere
Like if messages me headline should be cookies cake apple or something then you know before the message if the heading to the message is the key word they have read it if not then it’s obvious they didn’t |
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