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The one that got away…
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So, a slightly self-reflective, heartfelt and unusual post from me, but I've had a few sherries at my second street party of the weekend (that's how I roll when it's a Coronation).
Have you ever had a 'one that got away'?
I spent an amazing summer working on Long Island and fell head over heels with an American girl. She was 19 and just finished high school, I was 21 and on a working holiday. It was a wonderful time, working together and hanging out at the beach (like Sandy and Danny but with worse music and a lot of Coors), going to clubs in New York (not those types!), she invited me at the end to come and stay at her parents place in California for a few weeks but I had commitments at home. We kept in touch for a bit after but actually never saw each other again.
I looked her up a few years ago, happily married with kids, successful career etc. Which made me smile but also at the same time think 'what if'...
Do you have a 'one that got away' story and if so I'd love to hear them... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I do sort of.
One man I fancied like hell in my teens. And spent the night with him at one point. Then years later he travelled many miles several times to see me.
And even now he still contacts me randomly. He writes stories of me and him naked and he's very good at them.
I do sometimes wonder if I missed on a chance with him. |
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Yes, one such creature at University, who would always smile at me and twice she tried to strike up a conversation at the student union bar. I would simply clam up in hopeless nervousness offering polite interjections.
Her name was Phoenix.
And now I only have the ashes of my memory to remind me of her. |
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It's definitely not a 'one that got away', more I wonder what might've happened if I hadn't been so dense.  A lad who I sat next to in college - we had good-natured arguments and one-upmanship all through our A-levels. We ended up at the same Uni with the same friend group. I had such a crush on him by that stage. He invited me to his room and he played his guitar and sang. And I swooned inwardly and then left. With hindsight there was invitation there that I was too scared of rejection to admit at the time.
J |
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By *rincipessaWoman
over a year ago
your wildest dreams, |
Yes, we’d been very good friends for years but just friends. My 18th birthday was his last night in our home town. He was moving to London for work. We talked, we kissed, we cried, wished we’d gotten there sooner and we’d get it together in the future. It never happened. I moved, he came back, he went, I came back and well life just continued |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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First term of university I went back to a girls room after a night out, to find that her floor were all in there for afters...
We sat and drank with them for a while and things fizzled out and never quite picked back up. Had a couple of other nearlys later in the term before both started dating other people. She was great looking and do wish we had had the chance to fuck... |
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I have one who got away. No regrets - I’ve had a wonderful life without her in it - but she’s definitely the one ‘what if’ in my past. The one who could have led to a different life. And I wonder what that life might have looked like, even though I don’t envy it at all.
I was only 18, spending my last summer in my home town before moving away to art school. I met her in a nightclub. Taller than me. A little older. Fucking *gorgeous* and just achingly cool. After closing time we snogged outside, while the rest of the clientele tried to hail taxis.
We spent that entire summer together. Then we said a tearful goodbye and she went to Goa. We agreed it had been amazing but it had to end. Our lives were diverging.
When she got back, I’d already gone to art school. She went back to finish hers, to do her final year in a different city. But … it kind of wasn’t as over as we’d said it was. She came to visit me. I spent weekends at hers. But then, one day, I was on the payphone to her, planning to go see her again … and she told me she’d met someone else. A guy who lived where she did. That felt like more of a future.
I went to see her anyway, just for a couple of hours. We walked. Held hands. Hugged. Stopped ourselves from kissing. And that was that.
I’ve fallen in love so many times over so many years. But she’s the one I still think of, just sometimes. A tall, beautiful hippy chick with high cheekbones, a pointed nose and freckles. Cropped brown hair, long patterned skirts and sandals she used to slip off to drive barefoot.
A few years later I heard her voice, on TV. I had my back to the telly but I recognised her instantly. One of those daft street date kind of shows. Some contestant had to collect an outfit for a date by stopping strangers in the street and borrowing their clothes. I turned round to watch and it really was her, demanding a kiss from the contestant in exchange for her shoes.
She still looked like my idea of heaven. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes. It was chemistry like I've never known. He was my ideal in so many ways from the very first moment we met. He would write our stories and would see me in ways no one else ever has or probably will.
He was complicated, which in many ways made me love him all the more.
He took me completely by surprise when I least expected it and and I've a heart full of memories of us.
Despite his lies, the heartache and the pain. I forgave him time after time. I couldn't not. There was without doubt some force pulling us together but equally tearing us apart. In the end we were breaking each other. He moved away in 2021. I've seen him twice since then and the feelings still remain for us both. The chemistry is still off the scale and I think we would probably agree that had we met ten years sooner, we would have been blissfully happy together.
I still think of him most days but we agreed last at the start of this year, it was better for us both to not stay in touch.
We have said this many times over the last couple of years but I feel this time we have meant it.
I don't believe you only have one great love in your lifetime, I've fallen in love a few times, and I know I will again. Maybe I love love too much. He's definitely the one who will always make me wish things had been different though. |
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By *929Man
over a year ago
bedlington |
Thinking about it logically no I never have. I thought I had with the lass that ended my 15 year relationship without actually doing anything but I realise it was just over reacting to someone showing an interest after a long relationship of being made to feel chit, being cheated on and left for someone else ect all I did was talk it was last night in Kent being there for work came away thinking turning her down was the biggest mistake of my life and thst she would have been the one to “fix” everything. Looking back I was just being ridiculous and let it go to my head |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I met a guy when I first moved to london, lived together 3 years but it disintegrated gradually. Sone years later I get in the tube, not paying attention, he’s sat opposite me. We just looked at each other, saying nothing. I got off at my stop. I think part of me was still in love with him, cause it hurt like hell when the train left the station. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There was this one time .. I never thought it would happen with me and this girl from Clapham, we met on this windy common and that night I won’t forget. with lots of passion,
I said, "You are a lady" and she replied -"Perhaps, I may be". She was hot!
We moved into a basement with thoughts of our engagement we watched lots of Telly even though the room was a little smelly, but we couldn’t stop kissing and love had got us hooked.
I got a job with a guy called Stanley as a handyman, and started on Monday, so I had a bath on Sunday. I worked eleven hours & bought my girl some flowers. She deserved it.
And then after s visit to a doctor…we were having s baby.
I worked all through the winter…and she sat at home feeling the baby start to kick as the pregnancy went along.
Then, one morning at four-fifty we headed to hospital. Where thirty minutes later
She gave birth to a daughter. Within a year a walker, and she looked just like her mum.
And then when she was two years older, her mother got with a soldier
She left me when my drinking, became a proper stinging….
Yeh, she got away. |
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"There was this one time .. I never thought it would happen with me and this girl from Clapham, we met on this windy common and that night I won’t forget. with lots of passion,
I said, "You are a lady" and she replied -"Perhaps, I may be". She was hot!
We moved into a basement with thoughts of our engagement we watched lots of Telly even though the room was a little smelly, but we couldn’t stop kissing and love had got us hooked.
I got a job with a guy called Stanley as a handyman, and started on Monday, so I had a bath on Sunday. I worked eleven hours & bought my girl some flowers. She deserved it.
And then after s visit to a doctor…we were having s baby.
I worked all through the winter…and she sat at home feeling the baby start to kick as the pregnancy went along.
Then, one morning at four-fifty we headed to hospital. Where thirty minutes later
She gave birth to a daughter. Within a year a walker, and she looked just like her mum.
And then when she was two years older, her mother got with a soldier
She left me when my drinking, became a proper stinging….
Yeh, she got away. "
I sorry to assume but it sounds like you're really up the junction 
J |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I don’t really. Not from someone that I’ve dated anyway.
I used to have a massive crush on my boss at my last place of employment. He was newly married and adored his wife and was just the loveliest bloke ever, but hot damn if he had been free and single I’d have been on him like a seagull on chips. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
More of story of me getting away
Absconded from a Bernardo’s home at let’s say a young age
Jumped the train at bank quay station in Warrington down to London then jumped two more trains to Dover
Then jumped the ferry to France was nearly at the port of Calais and studious member of staff asked was I on my own I said Naaa parents are on the deck smoking
French police got me at Calais
Always wondered
What if I got to Calais and got away
France Belgium
Who knows  |
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Not much as one that got away, but have others have said a what if. Really can't go into the details as she's on here and used to post on the Forums. Not that I've seen her post since I've been back on here
XX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some lyrics from one of my fave songs seem pertinent here:
"And I remember how you told me
All that you wanted to do
The dream of Paris in the morning
Or a New York window view
And I can see it now you're married
And your wife is with a child
And you're all laughing in the garden
And I'm lost somewhere in your mind
If you've got visions of the past
Let them follow you down
For they'll come back to you someday"
Here's the song if you're interested
https://youtu.be/2BKUjnyf8uY |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"There was this one time .. I never thought it would happen with me and this girl from Clapham, we met on this windy common and that night I won’t forget. with lots of passion,
I said, "You are a lady" and she replied -"Perhaps, I may be". She was hot!
We moved into a basement with thoughts of our engagement we watched lots of Telly even though the room was a little smelly, but we couldn’t stop kissing and love had got us hooked.
I got a job with a guy called Stanley as a handyman, and started on Monday, so I had a bath on Sunday. I worked eleven hours & bought my girl some flowers. She deserved it.
And then after s visit to a doctor…we were having s baby.
I worked all through the winter…and she sat at home feeling the baby start to kick as the pregnancy went along.
Then, one morning at four-fifty we headed to hospital. Where thirty minutes later
She gave birth to a daughter. Within a year a walker, and she looked just like her mum.
And then when she was two years older, her mother got with a soldier
She left me when my drinking, became a proper stinging….
Yeh, she got away.
I sorry to assume but it sounds like you're really up the junction
J"
 |
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Oh yes in triplicate.
I met her at uni, Claire, she was so chill. The comfortable silence was there from day 1. We binned the Freshers pub crawl off after the second pub. Her room was like a bomb site! Then I met her bf and he was sound. Even though they were having issues, I felt like I had to wait till that was resolved, so I backed off.
During that time I got with someone else. And ended up with her for 3 years. We were having one of those make or break arguments in the Library at the end of uni. Then I saw Claire again, first time in 3 years. Instant reconnection. My gf just fumed and stormed off. Claire said shouldn't you go after her? I said probably, but I don't want to. A brief dalliance that got cut short because uni ended.
We stayed in touch writing to each other. And then there was lull. I had just got with my future wife, first time she met my mother and there was postcard for me, from Claire, on the mantle-piece. Saying how much she missed me and loved me. Made me cry, took some explaining that one.
She looked me up on Facebook about 5 years ago. Married, kids all of that stuff. We talked for a while and then realised there was no chance we could ever just be friends.
Still a messey-haired hippy with dazzling blue eyes.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
my parents didn't like him for me but I always did ..... he left our home town for the land of the free (so they say) ...I followed him there to visit but by then I was too damaged in my mind to let us be . He got married and so did I....when we see each other we still clam up like when we were kids ...we talk ever so often and make plans to meet halfway someday knowing full well we never will.
It's been 30 years from the first time we sat next to each other each church and no one has ever made my heart beat like that.
He will always say 'I am here if you ever need me ' but he knows I would never say even if I did ..I respect his wife and his kids. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This has surprised me to say, but no. I don’t have one.
The last guy, I still think about him, but I’m secure in my decision not to have him in my life, even though we were great friends. It was important,
for me, to say goodbye and move on.
That was helpful to realise that, actually! No regrets |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I met someone from here in 2019, things were going well and then I messed things up. I do wonder what if sometimes but he’s happily in a relationship now probably with someone better suited to him so good for him. I’ve not met anyone since that I’ve had that chemistry or connection with. Yet. |
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By *ornycougaWoman
over a year ago
Wherever I lay my hat |
He was an Aussie. We were besties but despite all our friends telling me he was in love with me - I didn't believe it. Unknown to him I dated his cousin instead. When he found out he professed his undying love. I sometimes wonder what life would have been like if I'd stayed in Sydney with him back in the early 90s |
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By *offee27Man
over a year ago
Wiltshire |
I think a lot about an ex from my early 20's lovely girl, great in bed, had some amazing times and travels. Unfortunately I wasn't always in the best place mentally and eventually pushed her away.
Shame really but I looked her up on Facebook and she's looking amazing and in a great place, makes me glad to see that but don't think I could ever bring myself to message her as I don't want to ruin her life again and want her to be happy |
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I'm on good terms with my exes.
But wouldn't go back
Except for one.
We met on a dating site.
She looked at my profile, I looked at hers.
I thought, too young (24 to my 36), too far away (90 miles), and a smoker.
But she messaged me and we connected.
Got to know each other through emails and Skype.
I drove up to her town and met her, and the chemistry was amazing.
She ended up moving in with me, getting a job, and being the sexiest woman I know. A former Vegas showgirl. Her Uni thesis was on BDSM.
Our kinks and interests were in synch.
But she was a free spirit, who wanted to live abroad again.
We've reconnected on social media and I'd take her back, but the timing has never been right...
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"I do sort of.
One man I fancied like hell in my teens. And spent the night with him at one point. Then years later he travelled many miles several times to see me.
And even now he still contacts me randomly. He writes stories of me and him naked and he's very good at them.
I do sometimes wonder if I missed on a chance with him. "
You missed out big time |
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By *tar80sWoman
over a year ago
Southampton |
Some beautiful stories here!
I will always wonder where that boy may be who danced one song with me before the lights came on.
That same boy, became a man, hardened and tanned, who had me for 2 weeks to himself, several years later but for no more than that.
Everytime my heart breaks, I wonder where he is and if he thinks of me. Does he pause everytime that song comes on that we danced to. I sometimes fantasize how we might find each other. I still catch familiar scents of his cologne in the air.
Am I the one to him that got away? Or was it him? I'll never be sure. I just know there was magic. I just know there was passion. And I just there was.....more. |
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I’ve got two of these. The only times I’ve truly been in love in my life.
You might think this first one is a bit silly, but it isn’t to me. It’s the only reason I believe in love at first sight.
When I was 12 and went to big school, I went to a birthday party of a girl whose birthday was about two weeks into the winter term. She invited the whole class and, when I arrived, I clapped eyes on the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen in my life. And this was before I knew what girls were for!
She was from a different middle school and I’d never met her before. I can still remember exactly how I felt - instant attraction, heart beating fast and, due to crippling shyness, a total inability to even say hello. But I couldn’t take my eyes off her all night.
We played spin the bottle and I got her!! I was tall for my age and age was short and the clown in me came racing to the surface. I just knelt down by her and presented my cheek. What a dick!!
From that night onwards, I was besotted with her. It didn’t help that my best friend started going out with her for a couple of years. They even set me up with her best friend (who was really hot) but that was never going to work.
Eventually, after she and my mate separated, it got out that I fancied her and we hooked up at a party. The only thing that happened was a slow dance (to Madonna’s Crazy For You - I was so happy it was that and it’s still one of my favourite soppy songs to this day, purely for that reason), a snog and a d*unken fumble.
My best mate was gutted because, in his exact words “She had tits by then!” And they were corkers haha.
About two weeks later we finished big school and her family moved away to Essex. I never believed I’d see her again but randomly bumped into her in a nightclub in Ibiza! I can still remember my heart leaping into my mouth when a friend told me he’d seen her. We chatted for a while (but I was still painfully shy and couldn’t talk to women), but agreed to meet the following night in a place called Gorm’s Garage. Isn’t amazing the stupid stuff one can remember 30 years on, provided it’s a strong enough connection.
I made all eight of our crew go there so I could meet her, but she didn’t show up. I have never spoken to her since and will never know if that was deliberate, she just forgot or it was the opposite to me - her friends made her go somewhere else. Obviously this was well before the internet.
She could be living anywhere now. Married, kids, anything. I would dearly, dearly love to see her again. To talk to her as the adult who is now confident around women and ask about her life. Tell her how I felt.
Tell her how I feel. I can’t help but think she looks exactly the same, just 30 years older. Wow.
Ok - I’m off for a little cry. |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
"I’ve got two of these. The only times I’ve truly been in love in my life.
You might think this first one is a bit silly, but it isn’t to me. It’s the only reason I believe in love at first sight.
When I was 12 and went to big school, I went to a birthday party of a girl whose birthday was about two weeks into the winter term. She invited the whole class and, when I arrived, I clapped eyes on the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen in my life. And this was before I knew what girls were for!
She was from a different middle school and I’d never met her before. I can still remember exactly how I felt - instant attraction, heart beating fast and, due to crippling shyness, a total inability to even say hello. But I couldn’t take my eyes off her all night.
We played spin the bottle and I got her!! I was tall for my age and age was short and the clown in me came racing to the surface. I just knelt down by her and presented my cheek. What a dick!!
From that night onwards, I was besotted with her. It didn’t help that my best friend started going out with her for a couple of years. They even set me up with her best friend (who was really hot) but that was never going to work.
Eventually, after she and my mate separated, it got out that I fancied her and we hooked up at a party. The only thing that happened was a slow dance (to Madonna’s Crazy For You - I was so happy it was that and it’s still one of my favourite soppy songs to this day, purely for that reason), a snog and a d*unken fumble.
My best mate was gutted because, in his exact words “She had tits by then!” And they were corkers haha.
About two weeks later we finished big school and her family moved away to Essex. I never believed I’d see her again but randomly bumped into her in a nightclub in Ibiza! I can still remember my heart leaping into my mouth when a friend told me he’d seen her. We chatted for a while (but I was still painfully shy and couldn’t talk to women), but agreed to meet the following night in a place called Gorm’s Garage. Isn’t amazing the stupid stuff one can remember 30 years on, provided it’s a strong enough connection.
I made all eight of our crew go there so I could meet her, but she didn’t show up. I have never spoken to her since and will never know if that was deliberate, she just forgot or it was the opposite to me - her friends made her go somewhere else. Obviously this was well before the internet.
She could be living anywhere now. Married, kids, anything. I would dearly, dearly love to see her again. To talk to her as the adult who is now confident around women and ask about her life. Tell her how I felt.
Tell her how I feel. I can’t help but think she looks exactly the same, just 30 years older. Wow.
Ok - I’m off for a little cry."
Felix!! I did not need to cry today 
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"I’ve got two of these. The only times I’ve truly been in love in my life.
You might think this first one is a bit silly, but it isn’t to me. It’s the only reason I believe in love at first sight.
When I was 12 and went to big school, I went to a birthday party of a girl whose birthday was about two weeks into the winter term. She invited the whole class and, when I arrived, I clapped eyes on the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen in my life. And this was before I knew what girls were for!
She was from a different middle school and I’d never met her before. I can still remember exactly how I felt - instant attraction, heart beating fast and, due to crippling shyness, a total inability to even say hello. But I couldn’t take my eyes off her all night.
We played spin the bottle and I got her!! I was tall for my age and age was short and the clown in me came racing to the surface. I just knelt down by her and presented my cheek. What a dick!!
From that night onwards, I was besotted with her. It didn’t help that my best friend started going out with her for a couple of years. They even set me up with her best friend (who was really hot) but that was never going to work.
Eventually, after she and my mate separated, it got out that I fancied her and we hooked up at a party. The only thing that happened was a slow dance (to Madonna’s Crazy For You - I was so happy it was that and it’s still one of my favourite soppy songs to this day, purely for that reason), a snog and a d*unken fumble.
My best mate was gutted because, in his exact words “She had tits by then!” And they were corkers haha.
About two weeks later we finished big school and her family moved away to Essex. I never believed I’d see her again but randomly bumped into her in a nightclub in Ibiza! I can still remember my heart leaping into my mouth when a friend told me he’d seen her. We chatted for a while (but I was still painfully shy and couldn’t talk to women), but agreed to meet the following night in a place called Gorm’s Garage. Isn’t amazing the stupid stuff one can remember 30 years on, provided it’s a strong enough connection.
I made all eight of our crew go there so I could meet her, but she didn’t show up. I have never spoken to her since and will never know if that was deliberate, she just forgot or it was the opposite to me - her friends made her go somewhere else. Obviously this was well before the internet.
She could be living anywhere now. Married, kids, anything. I would dearly, dearly love to see her again. To talk to her as the adult who is now confident around women and ask about her life. Tell her how I felt.
Tell her how I feel. I can’t help but think she looks exactly the same, just 30 years older. Wow.
Ok - I’m off for a little cry."
Awwww that’s so sweet |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have one, we were both about 18 at the time and it fizzled out but I never forgot her (Helen).
About 10 years ago her Brother added me on Facebook (back when I used socials) and then she added me! The subsequent years had obviously changed both of us - she'd had 4 kids and was not the 18 year old I remembered.
Dreams can be shattered in a moment. |
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I have one that I should have let get away!
While at school this boy and I flirted a lot, but he'd been my friend's boyfriend (and I had a boyfriend) so I never went there.
Jump a few years and I'd just split with said boyfriend and was out with a friend when who should be in the pub, but this guy from school. He walked me home that night and we were together for nearly a year before it all fizzled out. I then married his mate.  Mrs NC |
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They've all got away so far ..apart from the last but one one ..who sent me away to look after my mum and it just fizzled out because of the distance and age gap....however...I'm sticking to the most recent one like glue and she's doingthe same with me...we're not even on the swing scene...I've just come for a quick visit ...regrets and ladies ..I've had a few ....and they've all been gorgeous....and I've done it my way  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yeah I've got one, she's on here, she still is. Ok it may not have ended being a big romance, it may have not been a love story of the age.
But it could have been something special for a time.
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There is one and it's still recent. We worked together, both were recently single. She was perfectly perfect. We dated but timing was all wrong and I was confused and not experienced enough in relationships to know how to deal with it. Got bit scared when she told me she loved me. I didn't feel good enough for such a perfect woman. I rashly finished it. We stayed "friends" and always ended up in bed everytime we met. She would say one day I'll give in and we'll be together. My life got sorted and seeing her in a more relaxed way I started to really fall in love with her. Unfortunately she got bored waiting for me and met someone else. I never told her my feelings and stepped aside to let her be happy. She stopped talking to me and it was torture seeing her at work. Fortunately I got made redundant recently and moved job. I'm ok with losing her but I'm really sad at losing someone who was such a good friend too. |
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OP whatever you do, don't listen to Snow Patrol - You Could Be Happy.
I had an ex-gf (I was saving up for a ring but that's another story) who loved Snow Patrol, this song happened to come on Spotify one day and brought everything back. |
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Yes. We were married, then divorced in 1998. I missed him terribly and tried to find him again to no avail. Made one last random attempt last summer and literally bumped into him as I came out a shop that he used to frequent. He didn’t stay in the area any more and was only up for the day. We hugged, had coffee, exchanged numbers. Unfortunately he was in a new relationship. I messaged him twice, once to say it was lovely seeing him, and once to wish him a happy birthday. No reply to either. So I deleted his number. I will need to just get over him. |
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J
