FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > It’s been 2 weeks
It’s been 2 weeks
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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…Since I had sex.
I might explode in a big goeey mess.
It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.
Orgasms you give your self are not the same.
Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations  |
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"…Since I had sex.
I might explode in a big goeey mess.
It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.
Orgasms you give your self are not the same.
Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations "
Umm, I'm happy to help  If only for the Stegosaurus! Where was that when I was coming up with my hot pics scavenger hunt!
J |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I've heard Fifty Shades of Grey is a good book and film, not sure what it's about though."
That is a cruel, cruel punishment. I shall explode into an icky gooey mess before I go there. |
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I'm just about to finish the Divine Comedy (4 cantos of Paradisio to go,thankyouforasking). It has been by turns breathtaking, stimulating, awe-inspiring, long, imaginative, occasionally painful, often ecstatic, and overall a spiritual journey ending in surpassing joy and utter respect and admiration for the person who took me on such an astounding voyage of discovery.
Which, luckily, is just how I like my sex. So I can definitely recommend it as a substitute.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"…Since I had sex.
I might explode in a big goeey mess.
It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.
Orgasms you give your self are not the same.
Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations
Umm, I'm happy to help If only for the Stegosaurus! Where was that when I was coming up with my hot pics scavenger hunt!
J"
I bloody love dinosaurs. An embarrassing amount of my photos have dinos in them somewhere |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Oh god such beautiful women too, it can't be from lack of offers"
No, major surgery gets in the way of my sex life.
Also side note, looks have nothing to do with it. I could be a massive cunt. Or it could be that I chose my partners rather than take every offer. |
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"…Since I had sex.
I might explode in a big goeey mess.
It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.
Orgasms you give your self are not the same.
Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations
Umm, I'm happy to help If only for the Stegosaurus! Where was that when I was coming up with my hot pics scavenger hunt!
J
I bloody love dinosaurs. An embarrassing amount of my photos have dinos in them somewhere "
Actually, that's my recommendation. Go zooming in on hot pics for random objects! Depending on how hot they are they might not have the desired effect though.
J |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"…Since I had sex.
I might explode in a big goeey mess.
It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.
Orgasms you give your self are not the same.
Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations "
I'd really like to help with the recommendations. I'll DM you. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm just about to finish the Divine Comedy (4 cantos of Paradisio to go,thankyouforasking). It has been by turns breathtaking, stimulating, awe-inspiring, long, imaginative, occasionally painful, often ecstatic, and overall a spiritual journey ending in surpassing joy and utter respect and admiration for the person who took me on such an astounding voyage of discovery.
Which, luckily, is just how I like my sex. So I can definitely recommend it as a substitute.
"
This is a wonderful recommendation, thank you |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sometimes in life you have to go without for a while so that you don't take it for granted and then really appreciate and enjoy the fuck out of it next time you have it... This is one of those times |
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Struggling to have sympathy for you. It was a year for me.
I hear you on the orgasms though. I usually get bored by myself. Although, I have had some inspiring conversation recently.
A caucasian I find to be good for what ails you. |
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"Pffft try over a year.
I heard it grows a scab and heals up at 18months "
I auction off my hymen every year to kinky Saudi princesses in a bidding war just before Riyadh's main wedding fair.
It helps pay for my daily therapy sessions. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes in life you have to go without for a while so that you don't take it for granted and then really appreciate and enjoy the fuck out of it next time you have it... This is one of those times"
shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes in life you have to go without for a while so that you don't take it for granted and then really appreciate and enjoy the fuck out of it next time you have it... This is one of those times
shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time."
I could come and give it a kiss to make her feel better |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes in life you have to go without for a while so that you don't take it for granted and then really appreciate and enjoy the fuck out of it next time you have it... This is one of those times
shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time."
You're right, I'm sorry. How insensitive of me. Tell your vagina that my emotional support lines are closed atm due to the Bank Holiday but will open again at 8am on Tuesday and can provide all the comfort and support she needs. Hang in there!   |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you come and rub my back I'll get Mr to rub yours. That'll keep you occupied
F"
That would be very entertaining and something I may take you up on when I’m recovered. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes in life you have to go without for a while so that you don't take it for granted and then really appreciate and enjoy the fuck out of it next time you have it... This is one of those times
shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time.
I could come and give it a kiss to make her feel better "
Hmm I searched, didn’t see that as a tv recommendation |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Pffft try over a year.
I heard it grows a scab and heals up at 18months
I auction off my hymen every year to kinky Saudi princesses in a bidding war just before Riyadh's main wedding fair.
It helps pay for my daily therapy sessions."
As a man growing a hymen each year I feel you could get much more money for this. |
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"Pffft try over a year.
I heard it grows a scab and heals up at 18months
I auction off my hymen every year to kinky Saudi princesses in a bidding war just before Riyadh's main wedding fair.
It helps pay for my daily therapy sessions.
As a man growing a hymen each year I feel you could get much more money for this."
Marketing is very much not in my skillset, as a brief perusal of my profile would attest. |
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"shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time."
This doesn’t help you one little bit but I’m now wondering which member of my harem* I should nickname ‘my emotional support vagina’.
*I don’t actually have a harem. Chance would be a fine thing. |
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"…Since I had sex.
I might explode in a big goeey mess.
It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.
Orgasms you give your self are not the same.
Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations "
I’ve been asking for the same and someone recommended me Grey’s Anatomy. Have you seen that?
One of these days I’m going to be brave and tackle reading Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit.
Short of that, smash through the catch up service archives. I’m finding all sorts of good stuff!!
Will you be up to gardening? Need to keep the front garden tidy |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time.
This doesn’t help you one little bit but I’m now wondering which member of my harem* I should nickname ‘my emotional support vagina’.
*I don’t actually have a harem. Chance would be a fine thing."
I would love a harem |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"…Since I had sex.
I might explode in a big goeey mess.
It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.
Orgasms you give your self are not the same.
Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations
I’ve been asking for the same and someone recommended me Grey’s Anatomy. Have you seen that?
One of these days I’m going to be brave and tackle reading Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit.
Short of that, smash through the catch up service archives. I’m finding all sorts of good stuff!!
Will you be up to gardening? Need to keep the front garden tidy "
Crutches and gardening don’t go so well.
I forgot about greys, it’s one of those ones I wanted to watch but when it first came out I was in multiple countries and everywhere was on different series and episodes and it just got too confusing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I would like to enquire from whence you procured that monochromatic Elephantine shirt? It would go rather well with my green skinny Corduroys."
Unfortunately for you it’s a wrap dress. Banana Republic |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time.
This doesn’t help you one little bit but I’m now wondering which member of my harem* I should nickname ‘my emotional support vagina’.
*I don’t actually have a harem. Chance would be a fine thing."
That's my next fab username  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time.
This doesn’t help you one little bit but I’m now wondering which member of my harem* I should nickname ‘my emotional support vagina’.
*I don’t actually have a harem. Chance would be a fine thing.
That's my next fab username "
It would be a cracking name |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"OP - We could but a cake recipe book and get really messy in the kitchen "
This sounds like a potential slip hazard. Let’s pencil it in for 8 weeks when I’m not a hop along. |
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"OP - We could but a cake recipe book and get really messy in the kitchen
This sounds like a potential slip hazard. Let’s pencil it in for 8 weeks when I’m not a hop along. "
Oops I meant buy, not but (damn red wine).
8 weeks pencilled in. Get well soon btw |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sometimes in life you have to go without for a while so that you don't take it for granted and then really appreciate and enjoy the fuck out of it next time you have it... This is one of those times
shoo you. I’m after support, empathy, my vagina requires emotional support through this difficult time.
I could come and give it a kiss to make her feel better
Hmm I searched, didn’t see that as a tv recommendation "
It’s a tv show on sky |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What kind of books do you enjoy? I can normally come up with a list"
All sorts. The last 5 I read to show you a random snap section,
Entangled life. Merlin Sheldrake
Jitterbug perfume - Tom Robbins
The Eyes of Darkness - Dean Koontz
The Body - Bill Bryson
Llama Drama Anna McNuff |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We get withdrawal symptoms after a few days so two weeks would be hell on earth 
In fact it's been since Monday morning and we have to wait until tomorrow afternoon to see each other naked and the turkey's starting to get a bit cold already. |
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By *ack688Man
over a year ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
"What kind of books do you enjoy? I can normally come up with a list
All sorts. The last 5 I read to show you a random snap section,
Entangled life. Merlin Sheldrake
Jitterbug perfume - Tom Robbins
The Eyes of Darkness - Dean Koontz
The Body - Bill Bryson
Llama Drama Anna McNuff "
That’s a nice eclectic mix, maybe try
Bunny - Mona Awad
The starless sea - Erin Morgenstern
I’m glad my mom died -Jeanette McCurdy
I who have never known men - Jacqueline Harpman
Wild - Cheryl Strayed
The song of Achilles - Madeline Miller |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"What kind of books do you enjoy? I can normally come up with a list
All sorts. The last 5 I read to show you a random snap section,
Entangled life. Merlin Sheldrake
Jitterbug perfume - Tom Robbins
The Eyes of Darkness - Dean Koontz
The Body - Bill Bryson
Llama Drama Anna McNuff
That’s a nice eclectic mix, maybe try
Bunny - Mona Awad
The starless sea - Erin Morgenstern
I’m glad my mom died -Jeanette McCurdy
I who have never known men - Jacqueline Harpman
Wild - Cheryl Strayed
The song of Achilles - Madeline Miller"
Fantastic, thank you so much. I’ve added them to my shopping list |
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By *ack688Man
over a year ago
abruzzo Italy (and UK) |
"What kind of books do you enjoy? I can normally come up with a list
All sorts. The last 5 I read to show you a random snap section,
Entangled life. Merlin Sheldrake
Jitterbug perfume - Tom Robbins
The Eyes of Darkness - Dean Koontz
The Body - Bill Bryson
Llama Drama Anna McNuff
That’s a nice eclectic mix, maybe try
Bunny - Mona Awad
The starless sea - Erin Morgenstern
I’m glad my mom died -Jeanette McCurdy
I who have never known men - Jacqueline Harpman
Wild - Cheryl Strayed
The song of Achilles - Madeline Miller
Fantastic, thank you so much. I’ve added them to my shopping list "
I always love chatting about books so let me know what you think of any you read. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"…Since I had sex.
I might explode in a big goeey mess.
It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.
Orgasms you give your self are not the same.
Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations "
I definitely find that the more that I have, the more that I want.
My thoughts are with you in this trying time as I’m feeling rather similar to yourself… |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you're into scifi then I'd highly recommend Altered Carbon on Netflix. Or The Witcher if you fancy some fantasy and Henry Cavill in a bath "
I couldn’t get on with The Witcher, as hot as he is I just couldn’t get into it.
I’ve not heard of Altered Carbon I will add it to the watch list.
Thank you |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Book - prisoners of geography
Film - the last kingdom film
TV the last kingdom "
I saw the movie Last kingdom, I didn’t know there was a tv show also. I will add it to my list |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"…Since I had sex.
I might explode in a big goeey mess.
It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.
Orgasms you give your self are not the same.
Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations
I definitely find that the more that I have, the more that I want.
My thoughts are with you in this trying time as I’m feeling rather similar to yourself… "
Eek Go get em. Flutter those lashes get those orgasms |
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Other books really worth reading:
The Right to Sex by Amia Srinivasan, which is simultaneously serious and fun, important and light.
The Left Hand of Darkness, by Ursula Le Guin - I recommended this to a boy the other day and he came up to me, voice actually shaking, and said 'It's SO, SO good.'
Piranesi, by the ridiculously talented Susannah Clarke. |
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By *ea monkeyMan
over a year ago
Manchester (he/him) |
"…Since I had sex.
I might explode in a big goeey mess.
It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.
Orgasms you give your self are not the same.
Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations
I definitely find that the more that I have, the more that I want.
My thoughts are with you in this trying time as I’m feeling rather similar to yourself…
Eek Go get em. Flutter those lashes get those orgasms "
If I flutter them at you, will that help both of us? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"…Since I had sex.
I might explode in a big goeey mess.
It’s going to be a gazillion years (several weeks) until I can have sex again. **clutches pearls… falls to the sofa** I might die from lack of orgasms. I’m sure this is actual factual science.
Orgasms you give your self are not the same.
Keep me distracted Fab, tell me TV, movie, book recommendations
I definitely find that the more that I have, the more that I want.
My thoughts are with you in this trying time as I’m feeling rather similar to yourself…
Eek Go get em. Flutter those lashes get those orgasms
If I flutter them at you, will that help both of us? "
Oh flutter away
It won’t help me however I’ve got a Doctors note telling me to behave myself and wobble about on crutches for a few weeks. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I highly recommend an arrow word book. You can get them fairly cheap at any local news agent. I think you need the most non sexual activities. How about crochet? Bird watching? Curtain twitching? "
Someone else recommended crochet, I’m not sure I have the attention span for it  |
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"Good things come to those who wait...."
but I don't drink Guinness 
