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By *ayHaych OP Man
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
I’m really curious to peoples thoughts on this.
Over the past few months I have got messages from a handful of women and couples (maybe 4 in total) which have started off with “Hi fatty” or “Hi chubby”. At the time nearly all my photos were public.
The thing is, the messages actually seem like their genuinely interested in chatting and not with any malicious intent. They haven’t mentioned anything to do with degradation fetishes, and even if so, that’s not in my profile so I would assume people wouldn’t dive straight in.
Interested in peoples thoughts on this or if people have experienced this? I’m comfortable and confident in myself but that could be upsetting to some people. Made me think, if it’s seen as alright for men but not for women? |
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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago
Ilkeston |
Noooooo huge red flags:
1 thats just horrible to say to someone. Would people say that at a bar? Probably not so why on here
2 if degradation is there kink they should know limits, boundaries and CONSENT. Which being in the first message isnt there
3 if thats all they got to say to begin with wheres it likely to stop in terms of name calling |
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For lots it's a positive kink and many don't take the word fat/chubby etc in any negative way.
It's actually a good filter for a first message, as the ones they are looking for, would respond in kind, or say get lost  |
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I'd say it's more often along slut line of derogatory terms, but there's the occasional chubby chaser appears with apparently no idea of how to approach people either.
None of them get a positive response from me  |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
Ignore, delete and block. Not worth the energy and certainly not worth getting upset by.
Why some people feel the need to intentionally upset others is beyond me. I always think they must be going through a really shitty time, down on themselves, miserable etc as there’s know other reason (prefer to assume no one’s just a complete cunt for no reason).
Anyway mucka don’t give it any thought and have the best bank hols.  |
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Seems rude.
I suppose most messages are like fishing. The person sending it may want a kind of Dom relationship with a "fatty". If they send enough messages like that then they'll get responses from the type of person they're looking for. So it's not aimed at you personally more at the person they're looking for.
Still fucking rude and inconsiderate though but that doesn't stop a lot of people these days. |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"For lots it's a positive kink and many don't take the word fat/chubby etc in any negative way.
It's actually a good filter for a first message, as the ones they are looking for, would respond in kind, or say get lost "
I never considered that actually. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
It wouldn't bother me if someone said hello fatty as my fat gives me a thick skin
I might be tempted to look at their profile and pick something to respond back with.
If there's nothing there I might say something like wassup numbnuts
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By *ayHaych OP Man
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
"Seems a bit odd to me in all honesty ..We’ve been on and off here and other sites for over 20 years and have never once had a message that starts with hi fatty  .."
I’ve been on fab since I was 18 and it’s only in the past few months haha. One way of measuring weight gain over time! |
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By *ayHaych OP Man
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
"For lots it's a positive kink and many don't take the word fat/chubby etc in any negative way.
It's actually a good filter for a first message, as the ones they are looking for, would respond in kind, or say get lost "
That’s what I was thinking tbh. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Tell them to fuck off. If they think that it is acceptable to use those terms when they don't know you how the fuck would they speak to you when they do?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get this all the time fab is fab
You’re dammed if you show pics
You’re dammed if you don’t
Think it’s outright rude what they said to you
Say thank you instant block
I know we hear for only one reason
But there is no need for comments such as this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never ever had any type of abusive messages here, and that’s with some ending up blocked for being pushy
Straight out block them they shouldn’t be doing that it’s definitely abusive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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But it may be seen by some as a term of endearment, but it takes a lack of empathy to realise not all see it that easy. So imo not on unless something in your profile suggested it was okay
(I have "hi shortie" to someone who mentioned height)
But a useful filter of miss matching views.
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"For lots it's a positive kink and many don't take the word fat/chubby etc in any negative way.
It's actually a good filter for a first message, as the ones they are looking for, would respond in kind, or say get lost
I never considered that actually."
There's a guy on here that does it on the threads, he absolutely adores bbw, and half the thread will be full of people who don't see it from his eyes, and the other half who love it
Different things offend different people in different ways |
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My response would be 'why don't you fuck right off'. Not being funny fella, but that's just disrespectful to you, and you don't need that.
If you're in a relationship and that's a bit of fun you've got going, then OK, but as an opening gambit, nah  |
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"I’m really curious to peoples thoughts on this.
Over the past few months I have got messages from a handful of women and couples (maybe 4 in total) which have started off with “Hi fatty” or “Hi chubby”. At the time nearly all my photos were public.
The thing is, the messages actually seem like their genuinely interested in chatting and not with any malicious intent. They haven’t mentioned anything to do with degradation fetishes, and even if so, that’s not in my profile so I would assume people wouldn’t dive straight in.
Interested in peoples thoughts on this or if people have experienced this? I’m comfortable and confident in myself but that could be upsetting to some people. Made me think, if it’s seen as alright for men but not for women? "
Its obviously affected you you've hidden your pics but introducing themselves by saying " Hi fatty" is extremely rude hope you blocked them all  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Every time someone attacks your appearance, it's with malicious intent whether they put it in a nice tone or not. Save your time for good people OP, move on from those conversations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even if it was someone's fetish, they've no right to assume you share it. It's liking writing to me and saying "Hi sub". And those men who do that get blocked because they're not respecting my boundaries. And not are those who write to you like that. Block.  |
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Odd and frankly unacceptable behaviour.
My understanding is people are lacking communication skills nowadays and and can’t tell the difference between supposedly “funny” and harmful way of talking.
Sorry to hear that happened to you OP, I use block button excessively for this reason. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m really curious to peoples thoughts on this.
Over the past few months I have got messages from a handful of women and couples (maybe 4 in total) which have started off with “Hi fatty” or “Hi chubby”. At the time nearly all my photos were public.
The thing is, the messages actually seem like their genuinely interested in chatting and not with any malicious intent. They haven’t mentioned anything to do with degradation fetishes, and even if so, that’s not in my profile so I would assume people wouldn’t dive straight in.
Interested in peoples thoughts on this or if people have experienced this? I’m comfortable and confident in myself but that could be upsetting to some people. Made me think, if it’s seen as alright for men but not for women? "
that's an odd one ..I think to just randomly say that to anyone is rude ....was it accompanied with a wink emoticon or anything ?
My ex used to call me 'fatty' but it was more of a term of endearment as I was really really skinny in my younger years and I tried really hard to put weight on...so when it finally stayed on I was over the moon ...so it was like hi there fatty wink wink 
Either way though OP don't let what ppl say affect your confidence ( I know easier said than done) .
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Could that be 1 arsehole who keeps getting banned and is starting new accounts?
I know there’s many unpleasant people out there, but there’s something about multiple accounts but using the same insult, that makes me think it could be the same person. |
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By *ayHaych OP Man
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
"I’m really curious to peoples thoughts on this.
Over the past few months I have got messages from a handful of women and couples (maybe 4 in total) which have started off with “Hi fatty” or “Hi chubby”. At the time nearly all my photos were public.
The thing is, the messages actually seem like their genuinely interested in chatting and not with any malicious intent. They haven’t mentioned anything to do with degradation fetishes, and even if so, that’s not in my profile so I would assume people wouldn’t dive straight in.
Interested in peoples thoughts on this or if people have experienced this? I’m comfortable and confident in myself but that could be upsetting to some people. Made me think, if it’s seen as alright for men but not for women? Its obviously affected you you've hidden your pics but introducing themselves by saying " Hi fatty" is extremely rude hope you blocked them all "
Oh no I just didn’t want any public pics on at the moment. Wasn’t because of their comments |
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"I’m really curious to peoples thoughts on this.
Over the past few months I have got messages from a handful of women and couples (maybe 4 in total) which have started off with “Hi fatty” or “Hi chubby”. At the time nearly all my photos were public.
The thing is, the messages actually seem like their genuinely interested in chatting and not with any malicious intent. They haven’t mentioned anything to do with degradation fetishes, and even if so, that’s not in my profile so I would assume people wouldn’t dive straight in.
Interested in peoples thoughts on this or if people have experienced this? I’m comfortable and confident in myself but that could be upsetting to some people. Made me think, if it’s seen as alright for men but not for women? Its obviously affected you you've hidden your pics but introducing themselves by saying " Hi fatty" is extremely rude hope you blocked them all
Oh no I just didn’t want any public pics on at the moment. Wasn’t because of their comments "
ok well a positive reaction why burn bridges |
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By *ayHaych OP Man
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
" Its obviously affected you you've hidden your pics but introducing themselves by saying " Hi fatty" is extremely rude hope you blocked them all
Oh no I just didn’t want any public pics on at the moment. Wasn’t because of their comments ok well a positive reaction why burn bridges "
I didn’t, I kept chatting to some of them. the messages were polite and pleasant but that’s why it was confusing haha. |
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" Its obviously affected you you've hidden your pics but introducing themselves by saying " Hi fatty" is extremely rude hope you blocked them all
Oh no I just didn’t want any public pics on at the moment. Wasn’t because of their comments ok well a positive reaction why burn bridges
I didn’t, I kept chatting to some of them. the messages were polite and pleasant but that’s why it was confusing haha. "
never allow people to be rude, check them on it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being a big woman and the fact that I'm very honest about it on my profile, I've had my fair share of guys asking to meet and when I (politely) say no thank you,the fat comments start. I simply block and thank my lucky stars I never need to set eyes on them.
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"I’m really curious to peoples thoughts on this.
Over the past few months I have got messages from a handful of women and couples (maybe 4 in total) which have started off with “Hi fatty” or “Hi chubby”. At the time nearly all my photos were public.
The thing is, the messages actually seem like their genuinely interested in chatting and not with any malicious intent. They haven’t mentioned anything to do with degradation fetishes, and even if so, that’s not in my profile so I would assume people wouldn’t dive straight in.
Interested in peoples thoughts on this or if people have experienced this? I’m comfortable and confident in myself but that could be upsetting to some people. Made me think, if it’s seen as alright for men but not for women? "
Bloody hell that's so rude.! If someone opened a message to me with that I'd tell them to fuck off... body shaming is never acceptable no matter the gender |
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I would only do that with someone when I knew that everyone was ok with it. I wouldn't accept it from a stranger, and I don't think people with other gender presentations/ identity should* either.
* People can, of course, do what they want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Woah! I find that extremely rude and I’d probably block them straight away. Fair enough if it’s someone you’re already comfortable around and they know your humour etc but not a complete stranger. That’s not ok. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
Like others said messages like that would not even be opened,they would just get deleted unread and either a note on the profile saying what they said and to ignore any more messages or a block. More than likely the first option though. |
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By *nkyCplCouple
over a year ago
Northampton |
"I just privately replied to someone who posted on this thread so that ‘hi fatty’ comes up in the subject line.
If I don’t make it to see 6pm, it’s been a pleasure knowing you all  "
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha well played |
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By *oo..Woman
over a year ago
Boo's World |
"I just privately replied to someone who posted on this thread so that ‘hi fatty’ comes up in the subject line.
If I don’t make it to see 6pm, it’s been a pleasure knowing you all "
You play dangerous games Gatekeeper, you may find that key shoved up your arse in 2 weeks time!
Thats another Malibu you owe me... |
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» Add a new message to this topic
I certainly wouldn't be happy with or respond to an opening message like that. I'm very aware that I'm on the chunky side, but I'd hate a complete stranger pointing it out.
Beth x
