FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Disability doesn't matter but at least tell people !!
Disability doesn't matter but at least tell people !!
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We was going to meet this couple (who I won't name)but then found out that the guy has only one leg....not a problem but why not put it on your profile it's deceitful for people who it does bother....not meeting because he has one leg but the fact they don't tell anyone untill they have a proper naughty meet....your thoughts guys right or wrong??  |
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think you made too much of it tbh..
why not meet them socially and if you all get on and want to, you may have had some good fun..?
if folk turn up at a social and they are plainly not whom they said they were or looked in pictures exchanged etc thats different..
think you have over reacted on that particular 'issue'.. |
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I'm not over reacting I just think if your upfront about it fine....why not put on your profile though....they have a profile essay size of dos and don'ts and even mention the word honest in there....but where is there honesty huh??  |
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"I'm not over reacting I just think if your upfront about it fine....why not put on your profile though....they have a profile essay size of dos and don'ts and even mention the word honest in there....but where is there honesty huh?? "
its a leg..
you may not even notice it depending on the phrosthetic etc..
if the guy had a syrup and never said so which then fell off at an inconvenient time then yes that would be a 'ah moment'..
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"I'm not over reacting I just think if your upfront about it fine....why not put on your profile though....they have a profile essay size of dos and don'ts and even mention the word honest in there....but where is there honesty huh??
its a leg..
No a do you need to tell people your disabled....it's quite a important thing to mention don't you think.....I use to be on dialysis and had a tube hanging from my stomach and I defiantly mention it on my profile to cause any awkwardness too the other couple !!
you may not even notice it depending on the phrosthetic etc..
if the guy had a syrup and never said so which then fell off at an inconvenient time then yes that would be a 'ah moment'..
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"id prefer to know this kinda information up front yes"
so would i
is not telling someone you only have one legs before you meet any different to sending out a pic thats 20 year old?
i see them as the same, both not giving a true image of yourself |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
did you meet them?
if they told you before the meet, they were honest.
you may have preferred it on the profile and as most threads on the profile subject 'their choice' |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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you said you found out. how? presumably they told you. so no one was deceiving you about anything. you then made a decision based on what you had been told,ss is your right.
So what exactly is the problem? |
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"you said you found out. how? presumably they told you. so no one was deceiving you about anything. you then made a decision based on what you had been told,ss is your right.
So what exactly is the problem?"
The problem is having sex against the wall at forty five degrees |
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I agree that this isnt an over reaction. If it isnt on the profile at least tell people at early stages. People shouldnt leave it until the meet is arranged and suddenly pop up with "oh and by the way....."
I would prefer to know in advanced so that I can make an informed choice.
Plus the guy with one leg is also setting himself up for a lot of disappointment if he doesnt tell people, they turn up then get annoyed or he finds out that a one legged man isnt their cup of tea.
Logic and common sense say that it is something that should be upfront. |
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By *xodussxMan
over a year ago
sheffield |
There is a thread "Disabled wud u fuck?" Right now in the lounge where almost everybody is "pretending" to accept sleeping with a disabled person with no problem. Now this thread asking to put on our profile how many legs or arms we have. Double standard???? |
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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
What do you omit on your profile to increase your chances of meeting? Talk to people, meet socially and then play if there is an attraction.
It may not be something that they even consider.
I agree that people should give an accurate and uptodate image of themselves but we also have a responsibility to ask what is important for our own fun. |
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"There is a thread "Disabled wud u fuck?" Right now in the lounge where almost everybody is "pretending" to accept sleeping with a disabled person with no problem. Now this thread asking to put on our profile how many legs or arms we have. Double standard????"
No...double legs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
I think id be more offended by a bad syrup than a false leg
If I had one leg id say so,it can make a huge difference to some people and not a bit of difference to others,but at least you have a choice
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There is a thread "Disabled wud u fuck?" Right now in the lounge where almost everybody is "pretending" to accept sleeping with a disabled person with no problem. Now this thread asking to put on our profile how many legs or arms we have. Double standard????
No...double legs"
Wow , you're full of them today... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We was going to meet this couple (who I won't name)but then found out that the guy has only one leg....not a problem but why not put it on your profile it's deceitful for people who it does bother....not meeting because he has one leg but the fact they don't tell anyone untill they have a proper naughty meet....your thoughts guys right or wrong?? "
They were honest though as they told you before you met !!!
I have a disablity but if i met someone at Chams while in the jacuzzi they would have no idea about it so i dont include it on my profile (only meet at Chams)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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On the one hand, I do feel slightly that they should have made this clear in the early stages of chatting, but you do seem to be continuing to talk to this couple - have I understood that right?? If so, i don't feel it's right to discuss this in the forums tbh - something just doesn't feel right about doing it.
It must be hard enough for them to swing with a handicap anyway. Don't honestly feel this is helping them. If you have a problem with it, then that is for you to overcome, isn't it...?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
Forum Mod |
Ok quite rightly as the discretion thing has reared it head after a certain post on this thread I have to agree that its not fair to discuss other people and their meets in public,as funny as I found the post to be,and still do as I have a morbid nurses sense of humour 
If ive taken posts off its because they're not really fair to someone that is'nt on here to have their say too |
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They haven't told us that's exactly it we've heard from another couple who was put in a predicament with it....were not meeting this couple now but not for the disabled reason more of the deceitful reason....if you was pregnant ladies and on the site don't you
Think you would need to mention that too??  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"They haven't told us that's exactly it we've heard from another couple who was put in a predicament with it....were not meeting this couple now but not for the disabled reason more of the deceitful reason....if you was pregnant ladies and on the site don't you
Think you would need to mention that too?? "
Put yourselves in their shoes. What you see as deceit, they may read as embarrassment, shame or fear of rejection on their part. If it's a no-no for you because you can't cope with the thought of a one-legged guy, then fair enough, but please don't shroud it in something else.
We don't meet people in wheelchairs - not because we have anything against them, but Cracklings daughter uses a wheelchair and when we meet, she wants to get away from her 'normal' world and not be reminded of it. BUT... we have told the small number of wheelchair users who have approached us on Fabs exactly why and they have been fine with it and understood.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You could of course complain to Site Admin.....personally I don't think you would have a leg to stand on though"
Seriously though - if it was me and it was the female with only one leg - unless I was in serious need of a footjob it wouldn't bother me one bit! |
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"You could of course complain to Site Admin.....personally I don't think you would have a leg to stand on though
Seriously though - if it was me and it was the female with only one leg - unless I was in serious need of a footjob it wouldn't bother me one bit! "
A leg over is a leg over.....whether it is an artificial leg or not.
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"You could of course complain to Site Admin.....personally I don't think you would have a leg to stand on though
Seriously though - if it was me and it was the female with only one leg - unless I was in serious need of a footjob it wouldn't bother me one bit!
A leg over is a leg over.....whether it is an artificial leg or not.
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Hehe |
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"They haven't told us that's exactly it we've heard from another couple who was put in a predicament with it....were not meeting this couple now but not for the disabled reason more of the deceitful reason....if you was pregnant ladies and on the site don't you
Think you would need to mention that too??
Put yourselves in their shoes. What you see as deceit, they may read as embarrassment, shame or fear of rejection on their part. If it's a no-no for you because you can't cope with the thought of a one-legged guy, then fair enough, but please don't shroud it in something else.
We don't meet people in wheelchairs - not because we have anything against them, but Cracklings daughter uses a wheelchair and when we meet, she wants to get away from her 'normal' world and not be reminded of it. BUT... we have told the small number of wheelchair users who have approached us on Fabs exactly why and they have been fine with it and understood.
"
What about the couple being embarrested though....as I said I've been on dialysis had a tube sticking out my stomach and for me personality I didn't like it and was embarrested to show anyone but would be more embarrested if I got down and dirty and felt the awkwardness because I hadn't told them before hand  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We was going to meet this couple (who I won't name)but then found out that the guy has only one leg....not a problem but why not put it on your profile it's deceitful for people who it does bother....not meeting because he has one leg but the fact they don't tell anyone untill they have a proper naughty meet....your thoughts guys right or wrong?? "
The question i would be asking was if they were deceptive like that what else could they be lying about.
Its something i would want to know about along with if some was D&D clean, married, borne a woman and many others. I was told swinging was supposed to be about being honest with people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think we all know what's going to happen/not happen at a first meet from the general gist of the conversation before the meet takes place. If play is expected then I think having one leg is quite pertinent and it should be mentioned. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think they should have said in a message, that way you would have had the chance to say that you either were still interested or not. I wouldn't say its particularly deceitful though unless you asked him if he had a head, 2 arms and 2 legs and he lied, then yes that would have been deceitful.
I prefer to meet socially first so I would have known then, at that point, I could then decide on whether to meet again or not based on what the couple are like, rather than turning them down at a play meet because he didn't mention he only had one leg |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its the same story with most profiles you browse. not descriptive enough about physical appearance and the pics show you a even less "
But the same could be said of yours. From your pictures and profile I have no idea how many legs you have... |
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"its the same story with most profiles you browse. not descriptive enough about physical appearance and the pics show you a even less
But the same could be said of yours. From your pictures and profile I have no idea how many legs you have..."
He has Three legs, and the middle one is just a tiddler! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As long as they told you before you met them
They DIDN'T tell us....that's the point I'm making....if it's on there profile like I've seen a few like that then fair enough nothing to hide "
Then how did you find out, your first post says you never met them? |
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"As long as they told you before you met them
They DIDN'T tell us....that's the point I'm making....if it's on there profile like I've seen a few like that then fair enough nothing to hide
Then how did you find out, your first post says you never met them?"
I found out by another couple we had met I did add that lol |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"As long as they told you before you met them
They DIDN'T tell us....that's the point I'm making....if it's on there profile like I've seen a few like that then fair enough nothing to hide
Then how did you find out, your first post says you never met them?
I found out by another couple we had met I did add that lol "
what did the couple say when you said you weren't meeting due to his lack of honesty re his disability |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"its the same story with most profiles you browse. not descriptive enough about physical appearance and the pics show you a even less
But the same could be said of yours. From your pictures and profile I have no idea how many legs you have...
He has Three legs, and the middle one is just a tiddler!"
Have you been peeking again young lady   |
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"As long as they told you before you met them
They DIDN'T tell us....that's the point I'm making....if it's on there profile like I've seen a few like that then fair enough nothing to hide
Then how did you find out, your first post says you never met them?
I found out by another couple we had met I did add that lol
what did the couple say when you said you weren't meeting due to his lack of honesty re his disability"
I just said that we are busy....but feel like I should say something just worried that might report us for discriminating them |
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"As long as they told you before you met them
They DIDN'T tell us....that's the point I'm making....if it's on there profile like I've seen a few like that then fair enough nothing to hide
Then how did you find out, your first post says you never met them?
I found out by another couple we had met I did add that lol
what did the couple say when you said you weren't meeting due to his lack of honesty re his disability
I just said that we are busy....but feel like I should say something just worried that might report us for discriminating them "
You have said something....To everyone who reads the forum, when you could have said a little discreet something to the couple in question |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As long as they told you before you met them
They DIDN'T tell us....that's the point I'm making....if it's on there profile like I've seen a few like that then fair enough nothing to hide
Then how did you find out, your first post says you never met them?
I found out by another couple we had met I did add that lol
what did the couple say when you said you weren't meeting due to his lack of honesty re his disability
I just said that we are busy....but feel like I should say something just worried that might report us for discriminating them "
Well you have told the whole forums!
Perhaps you should have been honest with the couple as to why you didn't want to meet, and you could have descretly told them via pm! |
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By *iewMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Angus & Findhorn |
"As long as they told you before you met them
They DIDN'T tell us....that's the point I'm making....if it's on there profile like I've seen a few like that then fair enough nothing to hide
Then how did you find out, your first post says you never met them?
I found out by another couple we had met I did add that lol
what did the couple say when you said you weren't meeting due to his lack of honesty re his disability
I just said that we are busy....but feel like I should say something just worried that might report us for discriminating them "
they would have been my first and only port of call and I would have been honest. I would have asked the other couple too, if they had been honest to them as well.
You can be honest but not offensive
good luck |
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"
I just said that we are busy....but feel like I should say something just worried that might report us for discriminating them "
respect we differ on what we both see as relevant to being told etc..
but are you saying you hav'nt discussed the real reason with them why you felt unable to meet..?
if that is how i read it..
try putting yourself in their position if you logged on and read the actual reason...
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"id prefer to know this kinda information up front yes"
Yes Agreed. We initially only told people when they messaged us!
After a while we decided to just put it honestly on our profile.
The _iews/perceptions of people on here & in general is people are much more accepting day by day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"id prefer to know this kinda information up front yes
Yes Agreed. We initially only told people when they messaged us!
After a while we decided to just put it honestly on our profile.
The _iews/perceptions of people on here & in general is people are much more accepting day by day. "
Love your profile. Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I just said that we are busy....but feel like I should say something just worried that might report us for discriminating them "
when it comes to sex and your body you have every right to be discriminatory so i wouldn't worry about the admin kicking you out for choosing not to meet someone for whatever reason you choose.
As for if you are overreacting im a little on the fence about it.It would depend on how far along in the "get to know you" messages you were. I don't think it needs to be in the profile or in the initial message but it should come up in the "tell me about yourself?" messages. |
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"id prefer to know this kinda information up front yes
Yes Agreed. We initially only told people when they messaged us!
After a while we decided to just put it honestly on our profile.
The _iews/perceptions of people on here & in general is people are much more accepting day by day.
Love your profile. Xx"
Thank You |
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By *ezebelWoman
over a year ago
North of The Wall - youll need your vest |
"id prefer to know this kinda information up front yes
Yes Agreed. We initially only told people when they messaged us!
After a while we decided to just put it honestly on our profile.
The _iews/perceptions of people on here & in general is people are much more accepting day by day.
Love your profile. Xx"
 |
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agree with the op, having a leg missing is a fairly large thing.
if open about it then fine, im sure many people wouldnt mind, we prob wouldnt, but to turn up to a meet and find out then would be a shock.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We was going to meet this couple (who I won't name)but then found out that the guy has only one leg....not a problem but why not put it on your profile it's deceitful for people who it does bother....not meeting because he has one leg but the fact they don't tell anyone untill they have a proper naughty meet....your thoughts guys right or wrong?? "
Just watched a show on tv called sex on wheels.
Mixed thoughts.
Honesty is essential.
Yet so many judge with giving a person the chance.
I'm pants putting words into context but on a meet ive never faced an issue.
One leg so what better than an abusive disorder or violence.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We was going to meet this couple (who I won't name)but then found out that the guy has only one leg....not a problem but why not put it on your profile it's deceitful for people who it does bother....not meeting because he has one leg but the fact they don't tell anyone untill they have a proper naughty meet....your thoughts guys right or wrong?? "
I don't understand why you would call the meet off if it didn't bother you, personally I think it does bother you but you don't want to admit is in fear of looking shallow
If I really liked someone and wanted to meet them I wouldn't call off the meet because I found something out that didn't bother me anyway because it may bother someone else |
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Shouldn't make a bit of difference. But its like being fat. It does make a difference and people will pick up on anything they have a problem with. I'm fat, I have spinal nerve damage and a whole host of other medical problems. Nothing contagious but I guarantee people will read that and pass me by because of it. Its just life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry guys but I spent 15 years working witht the armed forces & know many soldiers & royal marines that have come back from Afghanistan with whole or partial limbs missing.
These guys are hero's to me, and I know that soem will find their disability a turn off but I for one would not.
So as long as you ar told before meet that they have a limb missing or a disability then what difference does it make. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sorry guys but I spent 15 years working witht the armed forces & know many soldiers & royal marines that have come back from Afghanistan with whole or partial limbs missing.
These guys are hero's to me, and I know that soem will find their disability a turn off but I for one would not.
So as long as you ar told before meet that they have a limb missing or a disability then what difference does it make. xx"
I am a pacifist and would never meet someone in the armed forces anyway. Damn waste of a good fit body, blindly following orders if you ask me. |
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"We was going to meet this couple (who I won't name)but then found out that the guy has only one leg....not a problem but why not put it on your profile it's deceitful for people who it does bother....not meeting because he has one leg but the fact they don't tell anyone untill they have a proper naughty meet....your thoughts guys right or wrong??
Just watched a show on tv called sex on wheels.
Mixed thoughts.
Honesty is essential.
Yet so many judge with giving a person the chance.
I'm pants putting words into context but on a meet ive never faced an issue.
One leg so what better than an abusive disorder or violence.
"
As I put playmates in brackets, a big "so what" for me if there's no leg to shackle! |
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"Shouldn't make a bit of difference. But its like being fat. It does make a difference and people will pick up on anything they have a problem with. I'm fat, I have spinal nerve damage and a whole host of other medical problems. Nothing contagious but I guarantee people will read that and pass me by because of it. Its just life."
I hang playmates from hooks, shackle them to wall brackets. It would be off putting having to conduct a medical questionnaire and risk assessment before playing. |
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I agree with the op. They should mention this on their profile then people can make their own choice. The couple obviously know some people wouldn't like it and that's probably why they don't mention it. I feel they should be honest about it and in my opinion you are not over reacting. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I am a pacifist and would never meet someone in the armed forces anyway. Damn waste of a good fit body, blindly following orders if you ask me."
The irony is that its only the willing endeavours of non pacifists that enables you to freely hold and voice that opinion |
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