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Free Friday Clinic
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dr L Splits is available in the clinic today.
No problem too big or too small."
It's snowing, I'm stuck at home and running out of cigs. I'm also hungry.
Just dialled a local takeaway as they also deliver fags and beer but they say they can't get to me due to the weather!
Is it unreasonable of me to expect them to walk through several miles of snow and then give me a huge discount due to my food being cold? 
And should I sue them? |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"where do I get reading glasses for short sightedness  "
There are three things you can do here:
1. Check the house and see if there are any lying around;
2. Go to an opticians, get tested and find out what your prescription is and then purchase a pair of glasses;
3. Go to one of these spinning display stands and try on lots of glasses for £1 upwards and see which ones help you to see.
Good luck with this. Sight is important and may help with your swinging choices. |
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Dear Dr L..
will be going for a long walk in the snow with our 2 dogs later, knowing me i am bound to want to pee at some point..
should i do so and leave the lovely pristine snow a yellow colour or should i plan the route via the really nice pub we sometimes frequent..? |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Dr L Splits is available in the clinic today.
No problem too big or too small.
It's snowing, I'm stuck at home and running out of cigs. I'm also hungry.
Just dialled a local takeaway as they also deliver fags and beer but they say they can't get to me due to the weather!
Is it unreasonable of me to expect them to walk through several miles of snow and then give me a huge discount due to my food being cold?
And should I sue them? "
It depends. If they are offering all weather, all conditions delivery then sue the arse off them.
If you are so hungry and desperate for a fag that you need them then be grateful and zap the food in the microwave.
Whatever you do, keep warm. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"My erm... thingymedooda has an essence of burger. Jeys fluid won't shift it. Can you recommend anything?"
Is it an unpleasant smell? Have people been wrinkling their noses? Vets and pet shops sell a product called something like UrineOff - search the internet for BurgerOff and you might find what you seek. Alternatively, a long soak in lemon juice should do the trick. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I am shortly going to be going out in my car .............. do u think this is a good idea ???   "
I cannot stress this strongly enough... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Do not leave the sofa. Stay away from the car. This is to protect the people of Sussex. Sacrifice your needs for the greater good. |
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"My erm... thingymedooda has an essence of burger. Jeys fluid won't shift it. Can you recommend anything?
Is it an unpleasant smell? Have people been wrinkling their noses? Vets and pet shops sell a product called something like UrineOff - search the internet for BurgerOff and you might find what you seek. Alternatively, a long soak in lemon juice should do the trick."
Hahahha x |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Dear Dr L..
will be going for a long walk in the snow with our 2 dogs later, knowing me i am bound to want to pee at some point..
should i do so and leave the lovely pristine snow a yellow colour or should i plan the route via the really nice pub we sometimes frequent..?"
After careful consideration I think you should plan your route with a known landmark. All the snow can create a sense of confusion and you may lose your way. Stopping off to check in with others ensures your safety. As an additional measure, I suggest you also leave a yellow trail in the snow so that the dogs have a scent to follow should you get lost. |
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By *oodmessMan
over a year ago
yumsville |
"where do I get reading glasses for short sightedness
There are three things you can do here:
1. Check the house and see if there are any lying around;
2. Go to an opticians, get tested and find out what your prescription is and then purchase a pair of glasses;
3. Go to one of these spinning display stands and try on lots of glasses for £1 upwards and see which ones help you to see.
Good luck with this. Sight is important and may help with your swinging choices."
the problems changed to longsightenss now  |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"My erm... thingymedooda has an essence of burger. Jeys fluid won't shift it. Can you recommend anything?
Is it an unpleasant smell? Have people been wrinkling their noses? Vets and pet shops sell a product called something like UrineOff - search the internet for BurgerOff and you might find what you seek. Alternatively, a long soak in lemon juice should do the trick."
Burger smells are never unpleasant. However I was hoping to arrange a meet with a veggie. I have used that Urine Off before (not on my thingymedooda. I use the bath for that)Thanks for the advice |
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"Dear Dr L..
will be going for a long walk in the snow with our 2 dogs later, knowing me i am bound to want to pee at some point..
should i do so and leave the lovely pristine snow a yellow colour or should i plan the route via the really nice pub we sometimes frequent..?
After careful consideration I think you should plan your route with a known landmark. All the snow can create a sense of confusion and you may lose your way. Stopping off to check in with others ensures your safety. As an additional measure, I suggest you also leave a yellow trail in the snow so that the dogs have a scent to follow should you get lost."
good advice but will be carefull of frost nip in leaving the trail... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am shortly going to be going out in my car .............. do u think this is a good idea ???
I cannot stress this strongly enough... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Do not leave the sofa. Stay away from the car. This is to protect the people of Sussex. Sacrifice your needs for the greater good."
But I might not have explained the problem in depth enough ......... I HAVE to go out in my car ......... as my need is greater than theirs lol |
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"I am shortly going to be going out in my car .............. do u think this is a good idea ???
I cannot stress this strongly enough... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Do not leave the sofa. Stay away from the car. This is to protect the people of Sussex. Sacrifice your needs for the greater good.
But I might not have explained the problem in depth enough ......... I HAVE to go out in my car ......... as my need is greater than theirs lol "
If you're starting on snow consider starting off in second gear.
When travelling over snow/compacted snow keep in a higher gear and keep a steady but gentle pressure on the gas pedal.
DO NOT brake or release the gas suddenly/sharply.
If you start to skid steer into it and the car will stop itself - you'll turn too tightly.
Keep more than double your usual stopping distance. If anyone is driving like a numpty safely give them the opportunity to get past you and away from you.
Steer with very small and smooth movements, steering too sharply can lead ti skidding.
Good luck.
Oh, and consider taking the bus.  |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"where do I get reading glasses for short sightedness
There are three things you can do here:
1. Check the house and see if there are any lying around;
2. Go to an opticians, get tested and find out what your prescription is and then purchase a pair of glasses;
3. Go to one of these spinning display stands and try on lots of glasses for £1 upwards and see which ones help you to see.
Good luck with this. Sight is important and may help with your swinging choices.
the problems changed to longsightenss now "
If the problem keeps shifting between long and short I suggest you just adjust where you stand when looking at things. At some point it will meet in the middle and everything will be clear. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I woke up this morning with a stiff neck and shoulders, can't tilt my head backwards or move it from side to side. Can you recommend a good massure? "
I suggest a large one of brandy and if that doesn't work have another one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am shortly going to be going out in my car .............. do u think this is a good idea ???
I cannot stress this strongly enough... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Do not leave the sofa. Stay away from the car. This is to protect the people of Sussex. Sacrifice your needs for the greater good.
But I might not have explained the problem in depth enough ......... I HAVE to go out in my car ......... as my need is greater than theirs lol
If you're starting on snow consider starting off in second gear.
When travelling over snow/compacted snow keep in a higher gear and keep a steady but gentle pressure on the gas pedal.
DO NOT brake or release the gas suddenly/sharply.
If you start to skid steer into it and the car will stop itself - you'll turn too tightly.
Keep more than double your usual stopping distance. If anyone is driving like a numpty safely give them the opportunity to get past you and away from you.
Steer with very small and smooth movements, steering too sharply can lead ti skidding.
Good luck.
Oh, and consider taking the bus. "
I will be fine, I am not going very far xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am shortly going to be going out in my car .............. do u think this is a good idea ???
I cannot stress this strongly enough... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Do not leave the sofa. Stay away from the car. This is to protect the people of Sussex. Sacrifice your needs for the greater good.
But I might not have explained the problem in depth enough ......... I HAVE to go out in my car ......... as my need is greater than theirs lol
If you're starting on snow consider starting off in second gear.
When travelling over snow/compacted snow keep in a higher gear and keep a steady but gentle pressure on the gas pedal.
DO NOT brake or release the gas suddenly/sharply.
If you start to skid steer into it and the car will stop itself - you'll turn too tightly.
Keep more than double your usual stopping distance. If anyone is driving like a numpty safely give them the opportunity to get past you and away from you.
Steer with very small and smooth movements, steering too sharply can lead ti skidding.
Good luck.
Oh, and consider taking the bus.
I will be fine, I am not going very far xx "
In fact I will put a post up if u like to say I got there safely lol |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I am shortly going to be going out in my car .............. do u think this is a good idea ???
I cannot stress this strongly enough... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Do not leave the sofa. Stay away from the car. This is to protect the people of Sussex. Sacrifice your needs for the greater good.
But I might not have explained the problem in depth enough ......... I HAVE to go out in my car ......... as my need is greater than theirs lol
If you're starting on snow consider starting off in second gear.
When travelling over snow/compacted snow keep in a higher gear and keep a steady but gentle pressure on the gas pedal.
DO NOT brake or release the gas suddenly/sharply.
If you start to skid steer into it and the car will stop itself - you'll turn too tightly.
Keep more than double your usual stopping distance. If anyone is driving like a numpty safely give them the opportunity to get past you and away from you.
Steer with very small and smooth movements, steering too sharply can lead ti skidding.
Good luck.
Oh, and consider taking the bus.
I will be fine, I am not going very far xx
In fact I will put a post up if u like to say I got there safely lol "
Check in regularly, but only when it is safe to do so. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Went on xmas night out in december and ended up taking home a fairly unnatractive woman, she insisted I fucked her up the ass, which I did, should I tell the wife ??? X |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Went on xmas night out in december and ended up taking home a fairly unnatractive woman, she insisted I fucked her up the ass, which I did, should I tell the wife ??? X"
Yes, you deserve the flak! Why weren't you with your wife on Christmas night? The woman couldn't have been that unattractive as you managed to fuck her.
Alternatively, don't tell you wife as why should she be hurt? Instead, book a trip to Venice for the pair of you, buy a strap-on and ask your wife to fuck you up the arse. Everyone will be happy then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Went on xmas night out in december and ended up taking home a fairly unnatractive woman, she insisted I fucked her up the ass, which I did, should I tell the wife ??? X
Yes, you deserve the flak! Why weren't you with your wife on Christmas night? The woman couldn't have been that unattractive as you managed to fuck her.
Alternatively, don't tell you wife as why should she be hurt? Instead, book a trip to Venice for the pair of you, buy a strap-on and ask your wife to fuck you up the arse. Everyone will be happy then."
  |
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I got sent home from work cos of the snow, however, some work followed me by email. Should I be conscientious and do it today as I should have done had I been in the office or should I shout 'fuck off' at the email and be here instead? |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I have a red sore belly button  I've googled it and it comes up with allsorts lol x "
I do apologise for the delay in dealing with your belly button query. I had to check whether the belly button specalist was available if I had to refer you. He's not.
Are you an inny or an outty? Have you been poking anything into the belly button or is the redness on the outside? Have you had any strange substances in or around the belly button?
Whilst I seek the correct diagnosis, seal off the area. Do not enter the belly button and keep it away from other people. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I got sent home from work cos of the snow, however, some work followed me by email. Should I be conscientious and do it today as I should have done had I been in the office or should I shout 'fuck off' at the email and be here instead? "
Do both. It's what I am doing. |
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"I got sent home from work cos of the snow, however, some work followed me by email. Should I be conscientious and do it today as I should have done had I been in the office or should I shout 'fuck off' at the email and be here instead?
Do both. It's what I am doing."
I will then.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I am shortly going to be going out in my car .............. do u think this is a good idea ???
I cannot stress this strongly enough... NOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Do not leave the sofa. Stay away from the car. This is to protect the people of Sussex. Sacrifice your needs for the greater good.
But I might not have explained the problem in depth enough ......... I HAVE to go out in my car ......... as my need is greater than theirs lol
If you're starting on snow consider starting off in second gear.
When travelling over snow/compacted snow keep in a higher gear and keep a steady but gentle pressure on the gas pedal.
DO NOT brake or release the gas suddenly/sharply.
If you start to skid steer into it and the car will stop itself - you'll turn too tightly.
Keep more than double your usual stopping distance. If anyone is driving like a numpty safely give them the opportunity to get past you and away from you.
Steer with very small and smooth movements, steering too sharply can lead ti skidding.
Good luck.
Oh, and consider taking the bus.
I will be fine, I am not going very far xx
In fact I will put a post up if u like to say I got there safely lol
Check in regularly, but only when it is safe to do so."
I will do - its stopped snowing here now - there is a god !!!!! xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a red sore belly button I've googled it and it comes up with allsorts lol x
I do apologise for the delay in dealing with your belly button query. I had to check whether the belly button specalist was available if I had to refer you. He's not.
Are you an inny or an outty? Have you been poking anything into the belly button or is the redness on the outside? Have you had any strange substances in or around the belly button?
Whilst I seek the correct diagnosis, seal off the area. Do not enter the belly button and keep it away from other people."
Lmfao its a inny and red inside  and no its had no poking  |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"I have a red sore belly button I've googled it and it comes up with allsorts lol x
I do apologise for the delay in dealing with your belly button query. I had to check whether the belly button specalist was available if I had to refer you. He's not.
Are you an inny or an outty? Have you been poking anything into the belly button or is the redness on the outside? Have you had any strange substances in or around the belly button?
Whilst I seek the correct diagnosis, seal off the area. Do not enter the belly button and keep it away from other people.
Lmfao its a inny and red inside and no its had no poking "
Is it itchy, sore or just red? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I have a red sore belly button I've googled it and it comes up with allsorts lol x
I do apologise for the delay in dealing with your belly button query. I had to check whether the belly button specalist was available if I had to refer you. He's not.
Are you an inny or an outty? Have you been poking anything into the belly button or is the redness on the outside? Have you had any strange substances in or around the belly button?
Whilst I seek the correct diagnosis, seal off the area. Do not enter the belly button and keep it away from other people.
Lmfao its a inny and red inside and no its had no poking
Is it itchy, sore or just red?"
Just red which is wierd but I've put some Sudacrem in for now |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
Whilst I seek the correct diagnosis, seal off the area. Do not enter the belly button and keep it away from other people.
Lmfao its a inny and red inside and no its had no poking
Is it itchy, sore or just red?
Just red which is wierd but I've put some Sudacrem in for now "
Have you changed your washing powder/liquid? It may not be irritating the rest of your skin but as the belly button is recessed it may be a little more sensitive. If it gets itchy or flaky get to the chemist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Still shivering after last nights swim, can you warm me up please doc 
You went swimming last night? Come and cuddle up under my blankey, baby boy."
Yeah thanks to some pisshead.
Ooo cuddles are good |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"Still shivering after last nights swim, can you warm me up please doc
You went swimming last night? Come and cuddle up under my blankey, baby boy.
Yeah thanks to some pisshead.
Ooo cuddles are good "
It's important to defrost slowly. |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"
Whilst I seek the correct diagnosis, seal off the area. Do not enter the belly button and keep it away from other people.
Lmfao its a inny and red inside and no its had no poking
Is it itchy, sore or just red?
Just red which is wierd but I've put some Sudacrem in for now
Have you changed your washing powder/liquid? It may not be irritating the rest of your skin but as the belly button is recessed it may be a little more sensitive. If it gets itchy or flaky get to the chemist."
Let me handle this one Dr. Splits
You are having an allergic reaction to your belly button fluff. Stop wearing woolly jumpers. |
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By *icketysplits OP Woman
over a year ago
Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound |
"
Whilst I seek the correct diagnosis, seal off the area. Do not enter the belly button and keep it away from other people.
Lmfao its a inny and red inside and no its had no poking
Is it itchy, sore or just red?
Just red which is wierd but I've put some Sudacrem in for now
Have you changed your washing powder/liquid? It may not be irritating the rest of your skin but as the belly button is recessed it may be a little more sensitive. If it gets itchy or flaky get to the chemist.
Let me handle this one Dr. Splits
You are having an allergic reaction to your belly button fluff. Stop wearing woolly jumpers. "
It's always good to have a specialist involved in cases. Your office was closed when I knocked earlier. |
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By *Ryan-Man
over a year ago
In Your Bush |
"
Whilst I seek the correct diagnosis, seal off the area. Do not enter the belly button and keep it away from other people.
Lmfao its a inny and red inside and no its had no poking
Is it itchy, sore or just red?
Just red which is wierd but I've put some Sudacrem in for now
Have you changed your washing powder/liquid? It may not be irritating the rest of your skin but as the belly button is recessed it may be a little more sensitive. If it gets itchy or flaky get to the chemist.
Let me handle this one Dr. Splits
You are having an allergic reaction to your belly button fluff. Stop wearing woolly jumpers.
It's always good to have a specialist involved in cases. Your office was closed when I knocked earlier."
That's because I took your advice |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
Whilst I seek the correct diagnosis, seal off the area. Do not enter the belly button and keep it away from other people.
Lmfao its a inny and red inside and no its had no poking
Is it itchy, sore or just red?
Just red which is wierd but I've put some Sudacrem in for now
Have you changed your washing powder/liquid? It may not be irritating the rest of your skin but as the belly button is recessed it may be a little more sensitive. If it gets itchy or flaky get to the chemist.
Let me handle this one Dr. Splits
You are having an allergic reaction to your belly button fluff. Stop wearing woolly jumpers.
It's always good to have a specialist involved in cases. Your office was closed when I knocked earlier.
That's because I took your advice "
I've not worn anything wooly must be my cotton vest lol x |
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