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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It would be a foreign arty black and white film.
Rihanna would play me and I'd play her personal assistant/sex slave.
There wouldn't be much dialogue but random locations including the Maldives, the Seychelles, Hawaii, Thailand and Skegness, and a fair amount of gratuitous nudity. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mine would be a rom/com and would be something like shallow hal where some gorgeous guy falls in love with me and over time i learn to respect and fall in love with him too
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mine would shot in the style of a Hong Kong action movie with limited budget, average sets and poorly overdubbed into English.
The film would feature a lot of Kung Fu, Ninjas and at least one very large laser.
I would be played by Jeremey Spakes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It'd be one hard to understand unless you pay attention. Also a horror comedy
Soundtrack contains portishead, massive attack, Muse, rob Zombie, metallica, slipknot, johnny cash, QOTSA |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It'd be a drama, one with lots of tears but lots of giggles too at and with me. There'd be a host of romantic interest in the early years and then most recently bog all through the lead characters choice... |
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Mine would be about time travelling ninjas who play rock guitar and have the blackest boners.
Here is a screenplay I have been working on with my friend Mark (who is a ninja). Obviously Mark and I would take the lead roles.
Scene 1:
Ninjas walk down street to go eat some food. Ninjas are all wearing black and looking totally sweet. There is some awesome music playing in the background to get the audience really pumped. Then some dude jumps out of nowhere. The ninjas start beating this guy's ass bad. Then the dude starts trying to run away, but one ninja pulls out a ninja star (ninja weapon) and throws it at the dude. The ninja star cuts the guy's head totally off. The head rolls over near this old dog that looks at the head and barfs all over the place, including the camera, which is awesome. The ninjas start flying and everybody starts screaming. Then the scene ends.
Scene 2:
A ninja is sleeping at his house. Some idiot walks by singing a super annoying song. Then the ninja wakes up super pissed and ready to rock. The guy just keeps walking and singing, while the ninja starts cutting down a building. When the guy walks by the building, it falls on him. (When the building is falling, a guitar will be wailing hard in the background.) There will be a close up of the dude's feet sticking out from under the building. The feet explode all over the place, because of blood pressure. Then we see that the ninja was playing the guitar. Then all these babes start coming out of nowhere and the ninja starts wailing ever harder (if that's even possible). Then the camera starts fading out and then explodes.
*Please note that I was so pumped after writing this that I punched my dog right in the face. |
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It would be an action/buddy type movie, the type where the lead actor plays a bad guy gone good, probably saving a convent full of nuns, and kittens, it would have lots of things blowing up, car stunts and impossible near-misses, and the young Rutger Hauer would play me.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Drama/Film Noir
A touching portrayal of a genius trapped in the body of a greek god and his inability to choose between his two loves.
It would be set in 1950's Paris. Most of the film would centre around the fight that would take place between Catherine Deneuve (Played by Emmanuelle Béart) and Marilyn Monroe (played by Emma Stone) over access to my mind and body, ultimately realising the only way forward is to share me equally. I would do all of my own stunts (sex scenes)for artistic integrity
I envisage this being a R rated film |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Mine would be about time travelling ninjas who play rock guitar and have the blackest boners.
Here is a screenplay I have been working on with my friend Mark (who is a ninja). Obviously Mark and I would take the lead roles.
Scene 1:
Ninjas walk down street to go eat some food. Ninjas are all wearing black and looking totally sweet. There is some awesome music playing in the background to get the audience really pumped. Then some dude jumps out of nowhere. The ninjas start beating this guy's ass bad. Then the dude starts trying to run away, but one ninja pulls out a ninja star (ninja weapon) and throws it at the dude. The ninja star cuts the guy's head totally off. The head rolls over near this old dog that looks at the head and barfs all over the place, including the camera, which is awesome. The ninjas start flying and everybody starts screaming. Then the scene ends.
Scene 2:
A ninja is sleeping at his house. Some idiot walks by singing a super annoying song. Then the ninja wakes up super pissed and ready to rock. The guy just keeps walking and singing, while the ninja starts cutting down a building. When the guy walks by the building, it falls on him. (When the building is falling, a guitar will be wailing hard in the background.) There will be a close up of the dude's feet sticking out from under the building. The feet explode all over the place, because of blood pressure. Then we see that the ninja was playing the guitar. Then all these babes start coming out of nowhere and the ninja starts wailing ever harder (if that's even possible). Then the camera starts fading out and then explodes.
*Please note that I was so pumped after writing this that I punched my dog right in the face."
I'm glad you got a few explosions in there! It almost wasn't awesome enough! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm glad you got a few explosions in there! It almost wasn't awesome enough!
Yeah I was concerned it was a bit slow! Scene 3 is going to have more babes and some exploding boners in it.  "
You ARE Chuck Norris and I claim my five pounds!
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"I'm glad you got a few explosions in there! It almost wasn't awesome enough!
Yeah I was concerned it was a bit slow! Scene 3 is going to have more babes and some exploding boners in it.
You ARE Chuck Norris and I claim my five pounds!
"
I wish I was the C:Dogg he is like only 3ft tall or something but could kill a whale with his boner! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Someone wants to make a film about you. What genre would you make it and what would it be about?Horror and suspense and it would be about horror and suspense.  "
Oh youuu, I see what you did there :p |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Mine would shot in the style of a Hong Kong action movie with limited budget, average sets and poorly overdubbed into English.
The film would feature a lot of Kung Fu, Ninjas and at least one very large laser.
I would be played by Jeremey Spakes. "
Brilliant... I will tell John Woo |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Mine would be a disaster comedy by Mel Brooks about a retard (me) that does the total opposite of Forrest Gump and causes epic catastrophes and misery by trying to be helpful!  |
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