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The last time...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Would it have made a difference knowing that it was the last time?
Last time you saw that someone.
Last time you held their hand.
Last time you spoke to them.
The last message you sent.
The last time you felt their lips on yours.
There's a lot of things we do and we don't realise at the time that that's the last time we'll ever do that.
Would you of changed things if you'd known? Spent a little longer writing that message knowing they'd never read another.
When you kissed them goodbye, if you knew it was the last time would you have a kissed them a little longer.
Not knowing it's the last time, a blessing or a curse?
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
This is why I will always hug and say something to the people I'm closest with. I always want them to know how much they mean to me no matter what.
Even my son when he's being a gurney shit leaving for work in the morning - I will shout 'love you' and he will grumble it back  |
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That's very deep, and as much as if I overthink maybe I'd do things differently in some situations but me thinking about stuff that I have zero control over and won't change anything I try my very best not too.
That doesn't mean to say loved ones that have passed I wouldn't have liked to hug them a little longer and tell them how amazing they were.
As a huge overthinker it's taken time but I do try my best not to think or worry about what I can't control.
Hope your ok Raven.
Mrs |
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This is very close to my heart. The last time I saw my late beloved I didn't know it was going to be the last time. We had a perfect day and I wouldn't have changed anything. It's a memory I hold dear.
The very last time I spoke to him on the phone was just a quick call to tell me something. I wish the call had been longer. We always ended our calls with I love you so that is the very last words we said to each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I beat myself up about this all the time thinking I could have done more, could have spent more time with them if I knew just how quick they’d be taken away. I got to say my goodbyes and be with them until the end though so I’ll always cherish that time I got the spend with them.
I hope you’re ok |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
Hey Raven, hope you're okay. x
No, it wouldn't. I overthink at the best of times and I don't want to be thinking about my every action, tailoring it.
I'd hope that those who've died or I've lost contact with or finished a relationship with knew that my feelings were real. Strong. But life happens.
I think because I've lost some people who were very dear to me, I do try and show people how much they mean. If anything ever happened, for whatever reason, I'd want them to know that. Not those last moments we had together but the many memories we've shared. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Id like to say yes but I think if I thought about it and i knew it was going to be the last time then I wouldn't let them go so I could protect them and that isnt right is it xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"This is very close to my heart. The last time I saw my late beloved I didn't know it was going to be the last time. We had a perfect day and I wouldn't have changed anything. It's a memory I hold dear.
The very last time I spoke to him on the phone was just a quick call to tell me something. I wish the call had been longer. We always ended our calls with I love you so that is the very last words we said to each other."
Ouch. But beautiful. |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"Would it have made a difference knowing that it was the last time?
Last time you saw that someone.
Last time you held their hand.
Last time you spoke to them.
The last message you sent.
The last time you felt their lips on yours.
There's a lot of things we do and we don't realise at the time that that's the last time we'll ever do that.
Would you of changed things if you'd known? Spent a little longer writing that message knowing they'd never read another.
When you kissed them goodbye, if you knew it was the last time would you have a kissed them a little longer.
Not knowing it's the last time, a blessing or a curse?
"
We are none of us here forever we have memories i guess that will have to do  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I didn't read it as being the last time before someone died  "
It wasn't meant that way, well not completely. My references were in relation to people that did die but also ones I've just lost touch with. It could relate to a number of situations really. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I didn't read it as being the last time before someone died
Me neither. I wouldn’t have been so flippant. I’m so sorry for my comment if it was. I’d never have done that x"
I'm not easily offended!  |
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"I didn't read it as being the last time before someone died
Me neither. I wouldn’t have been so flippant. I’m so sorry for my comment if it was. I’d never have done that x
I'm not easily offended! "
I know. But even so….. xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think sometimes ignorance is bliss. I knew the last time I saw my mum, I didn't know the last time I saw my dad. I know which feeling I preferred.
With relationships its difficult. I think looking back at some, I wish I'd got another chance to say goodbye to them properly before it was over.
Others not really so much.
I do make a point of telling people how I feel and I try really hard never to go to sleep on an argument because that's important.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I didn't read it as being the last time before someone died
Me neither. I wouldn’t have been so flippant. I’m so sorry for my comment if it was. I’d never have done that x"
I am not sure it was meant in that way, but only Raven can answer (and it's probably "read it how you like").
For me there are certain people that I am glad my last conversation was aggressive (certain politicians and clients), but for someone close like my daughter, I have no idea why my last conversation was the last one (it was "goodbye, love you") and why there has been no other since. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The busyness of our lives makes us forget that it can all change in a split second. Value every day and make time for people you really care about and let them know you care |
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"Would it have made a difference knowing that it was the last time?
Last time you saw that someone.
Last time you held their hand.
Last time you spoke to them.
The last message you sent.
The last time you felt their lips on yours.
There's a lot of things we do and we don't realise at the time that that's the last time we'll ever do that.
Would you of changed things if you'd known? Spent a little longer writing that message knowing they'd never read another.
When you kissed them goodbye, if you knew it was the last time would you have a kissed them a little longer.
Not knowing it's the last time, a blessing or a curse?
"
Its both, depending on your perspective. And who its the last time with and why.
But those feelings are what you put on yourself and can change over time, so maybe live with them for a while, and be kind to yourself. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The last time I spoke to my Dad was via phone all, I rang him to tell him I had some exciting news and that I would be down to see him on the Saturday...
He died before I got to tell him I was pregnant. I told him in the Chapel of Rest, I just hope he heard me
Do I regret not telling him in that moment or not seeing him sooner, hell yes and it still haunts me 28 years later 
I learnt that day that life is short, tell people what you want them to know in the now, that moment. Don't wait, you just don't know what is round the corner
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By *linyMan
over a year ago
Manchester/London |
I heard one on the radio a while ago and it stuck with me. When you were a child and your parent/parents carried you around and then when you walked they’d sometimes pick you and carry you, throw you around in the pool maybe. At some point it was the LAST ever time they picked you up in their arms! I nearly burst into tears at the steering wheel ha ha |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think sometimes ignorance is bliss. I knew the last time I saw my mum, I didn't know the last time I saw my dad. I know which feeling I preferred.
With relationships its difficult. I think looking back at some, I wish I'd got another chance to say goodbye to them properly before it was over.
Others not really so much.
I do make a point of telling people how I feel and I try really hard never to go to sleep on an argument because that's important.
"
You always think there's gonna be another time, another day to say what you want. Sometimes, for different reasons, that day never comes.
But yeah looking back I think I'd rather not know, even though you're left with things you wish you'd said/done. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I didn't read it as being the last time before someone died
Me neither. I wouldn’t have been so flippant. I’m so sorry for my comment if it was. I’d never have done that x
I am not sure it was meant in that way, but only Raven can answer (and it's probably "read it how you like").
For me there are certain people that I am glad my last conversation was aggressive (certain politicians and clients), but for someone close like my daughter, I have no idea why my last conversation was the last one (it was "goodbye, love you") and why there has been no other since."
Yeah, it relates to different situations.
That made me |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
If I had known the last cup of tea and chat I had with my mum was going to be the last, I'd have sat for longer.
She died 11 days later; a day after I returned from a holiday.
If I hadn't have gone away I'd have been to visit her before she was taken ill.
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
I don't think so. I know it’s cliche but I really do try to live everyday like it’s my last. I woke up at 5am today thinking about a friend in the uk and knew I had to call him. I waited till 8am and called him, 5am his time Sunday morning and chatted for an hour!
The conversations I had this weekend & today , I’m ok if they had to be the last. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Would it have made a difference knowing that it was the last time?
Last time you saw that someone.
Last time you held their hand.
Last time you spoke to them.
The last message you sent.
The last time you felt their lips on yours.
There's a lot of things we do and we don't realise at the time that that's the last time we'll ever do that.
Would you of changed things if you'd known? Spent a little longer writing that message knowing they'd never read another.
When you kissed them goodbye, if you knew it was the last time would you have a kissed them a little longer.
Not knowing it's the last time, a blessing or a curse?
"
Been quite fortunate or unfortunate in respect of most of above my mother when she passed away with cancer she knew she was dying held her hand kissed her goodbye and my wife when she passed away with cancer nursed her at home when she passed held her all night till she passed away in the morning my mum and my wife I miss terribly
Life is fleeting enjoy life when you can all you can |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I worry that if something happened long term partner I wouldn't know.
He'd just be gone, with no explanation. "
This is the worst. The no explanation part.
There's someone I was once really close to, and now, I don't even know if they're alive or dead. Sounds dramatic but it's a reality.
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Sometimes we get the chance to show how much we love someone and sadly sometimes we don’t. Sometimes the words, the kisses, the hugs can never feel enough. We could cling on to someone for hours, even days and would still regret ever letting them go. Love is carried in our hearts and if we truly love someone, they will know, even if we didn’t get a last opportunity to show it |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"…
Not knowing it's the last time, a blessing or a curse?
"
A blessing, because I’d probably not do it. if I knew, I’d be a coward and turn from it. I don’t like things ending that are wonderful and something or someone that brings me joy. I couldn’t bear being in the moment I know would be my last. I’d rather not do it than go through that pain.
And I’d miss out on that one more time I always wanted. I would miss out on that, one more time with them.
I’d rather not know, it was it was, and there’s nothing I can do about it other than remember the best moments I’d had that way.
I hope that makes sense.
*im going to have a double run now.  |
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It's an interesting topic, I'm torn between having foresight or living in ignorance, Raven. How do I even begin to answer this?... I would feel that the "not knowing" would be a blessing because we live each day with the appreciation and knowledge that it's not our last day with someone or something, and therefore we are at our most comfortable, natural and genuine state, with the expectation that there will be more to come. To have the cognisance of 'knowing' would potentially change my stance to a fallacy and make me become unnaturally obsessive or contrived. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"…
Not knowing it's the last time, a blessing or a curse?
A blessing, because I’d probably not do it. if I knew, I’d be a coward and turn from it. I don’t like things ending that are wonderful and something or someone that brings me joy. I couldn’t bear being in the moment I know would be my last. I’d rather not do it than go through that pain.
And I’d miss out on that one more time I always wanted. I would miss out on that, one more time with them.
I’d rather not know, it was it was, and there’s nothing I can do about it other than remember the best moments I’d had that way.
I hope that makes sense.
*im going to have a double run now. "
It does
Though personally I'd have a double rum not run. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"I worry that if something happened long term partner I wouldn't know.
He'd just be gone, with no explanation.
This is the worst. The no explanation part.
There's someone I was once really close to, and now, I don't even know if they're alive or dead. Sounds dramatic but it's a reality.
"
It's not dramatic.
If they aren't on any of your Social Media networks and their family and friends don't know to tell you anything you won't know what's happened.
I started thinking about it when he came to see me after taking a corner too fast on his motorbike and being slammed into a hedge.
It dawned on me that if he'd have died no one would know to tell me, unless they got access to his phone and he kept our messages. Even then I don't know if they would bother.
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"It's an interesting topic, I'm torn between having foresight or living in ignorance, Raven. How do I even begin to answer this?... I would feel that the "not knowing" would be a blessing because we live each day with the appreciation and knowledge that it's not our last day with someone or something, and therefore we are at our most comfortable, natural and genuine state, with the expectation that there will be more to come. To have the cognisance of 'knowing' would potentially change my stance to a fallacy and make me become unnaturally obsessive or contrived."
I'd spend my life waiting for a message from him.
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
A person dying then yes, when my grandfather died it broke me as a kid as he was my hero and to have time with him as a teenager and an adult, I would have loved to have his advice, his time.
Friends come and go, I know people have lives as do I and people have their roads to travel, sometimes those oads cross, sometimes they deverge away from each other.
Relasionships no, because I have been emotionaly betrayed too many times that I wish they had left sooner.
A beautiful post Raven. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"Sometimes we get the chance to show how much we love someone and sadly sometimes we don’t. Sometimes the words, the kisses, the hugs can never feel enough. We could cling on to someone for hours, even days and would still regret ever letting them go. Love is carried in our hearts and if we truly love someone, they will know, even if we didn’t get a last opportunity to show it "
This is beautiful Samantha, x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it makes a huge difference. Which is why I try to never part with someone I care about on bad terms, even if we have disagreed, because I don’t want that to be the last memory of them, or for them of me.
Fortunately there are very few people I care about. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Sometimes we get the chance to show how much we love someone and sadly sometimes we don’t. Sometimes the words, the kisses, the hugs can never feel enough. We could cling on to someone for hours, even days and would still regret ever letting them go. Love is carried in our hearts and if we truly love someone, they will know, even if we didn’t get a last opportunity to show it "
This.....
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It most definitely would…. I’ve only ever really had it happen to me suddenly like that
I was 19 and serving in Northern Ireland spoke to my dad on the Friday and talked for a while all pre mobile phone. And was told on the Sunday morning he had died the night before from a massive heart attack
He was 47 my life changed that day
I regret not spending more time with him, but at 19 you don’t feel you need any advice
I’d love him to be around now to see his grand daughter, to go for a beer with and ask him his advice on things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It most definitely would…. I’ve only ever really had it happen to me suddenly like that
I was 19 and serving in Northern Ireland spoke to my dad on the Friday and talked for a while all pre mobile phone. And was told on the Sunday morning he had died the night before from a massive heart attack
He was 47 my life changed that day
I regret not spending more time with him, but at 19 you don’t feel you need any advice
I’d love him to be around now to see his grand daughter, to go for a beer with and ask him his advice on things. "
I now tell those close to me everyday I love them, and I never go to bed on a bad word.
I’d sooner eat humble pie and apologise first and end the night friends and no cross words |
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"Sometimes we get the chance to show how much we love someone and sadly sometimes we don’t. Sometimes the words, the kisses, the hugs can never feel enough. We could cling on to someone for hours, even days and would still regret ever letting them go. Love is carried in our hearts and if we truly love someone, they will know, even if we didn’t get a last opportunity to show it
This is beautiful Samantha, x"
Unfortunately, I’ve had my fair share of loss, both sudden and expected and I would say they’re equally awful in different ways x |
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"Sometimes we get the chance to show how much we love someone and sadly sometimes we don’t. Sometimes the words, the kisses, the hugs can never feel enough. We could cling on to someone for hours, even days and would still regret ever letting them go. Love is carried in our hearts and if we truly love someone, they will know, even if we didn’t get a last opportunity to show it
This.....
"
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By *929Man
over a year ago
newcastle |
Definitely would in a lot of situations, more so with my dad had I known he would only live 5 weeks from his cancer diagnosis I’d have spend every day with him instead I convinced myself he would be around years didn’t do all I should with him |
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That's pretty deep.
Two moments pop into my mind. Probably the two women I have loved the most.
My wife, she went to the GP with a headache. Next time I saw her she was on life support in ICU. Still remember the last moment like yesterday. I was hanging some stupid blinds. I said do you want me to come with you. She said no she would be fine. Wish I had gone, maybe I could have said goodbye then.
Second an absolute whirlwind of a scouser. She asked me to leave my wife for her, I said no. She went for me. She was only little 5' 2" but she punched like Chun li! I had her at arm's length whilst she was flailing at me, then she bit my wrist deep man locked on like a pitbull. Wife came home like wtf. She stormed out. Looked back at me from the bottom of the stairs, like this is it. Told her to fuck off. Wish I hadn't done that. She called me months later said she still loved me. Never heard from or saw her again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Sometimes we get the chance to show how much we love someone and sadly sometimes we don’t. Sometimes the words, the kisses, the hugs can never feel enough. We could cling on to someone for hours, even days and would still regret ever letting them go. Love is carried in our hearts and if we truly love someone, they will know, even if we didn’t get a last opportunity to show it
This.....
"
Yep exactly this |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"A person dying then yes, when my grandfather died it broke me as a kid as he was my hero and to have time with him as a teenager and an adult, I would have loved to have his advice, his time.
Friends come and go, I know people have lives as do I and people have their roads to travel, sometimes those oads cross, sometimes they deverge away from each other.
Relasionships no, because I have been emotionaly betrayed too many times that I wish they had left sooner.
A beautiful post Raven."
Those you lose, they're the hardest. There's nothing you can do.
I have one relationship I wish had left sooner!
I can be thoughtful, sometimes. |
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"Would it have made a difference knowing that it was the last time?
Last time you saw that someone.
Last time you held their hand.
Last time you spoke to them.
The last message you sent.
The last time you felt their lips on yours.
There's a lot of things we do and we don't realise at the time that that's the last time we'll ever do that.
Would you of changed things if you'd known? Spent a little longer writing that message knowing they'd never read another.
When you kissed them goodbye, if you knew it was the last time would you have a kissed them a little longer.
Not knowing it's the last time, a blessing or a curse?
"
Quite simply.....yes  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"That's pretty deep.
Two moments pop into my mind. Probably the two women I have loved the most.
My wife, she went to the GP with a headache. Next time I saw her she was on life support in ICU. Still remember the last moment like yesterday. I was hanging some stupid blinds. I said do you want me to come with you. She said no she would be fine. Wish I had gone, maybe I could have said goodbye then.
Second an absolute whirlwind of a scouser. She asked me to leave my wife for her, I said no. She went for me. She was only little 5' 2" but she punched like Chun li! I had her at arm's length whilst she was flailing at me, then she bit my wrist deep man locked on like a pitbull. Wife came home like wtf. She stormed out. Looked back at me from the bottom of the stairs, like this is it. Told her to fuck off. Wish I hadn't done that. She called me months later said she still loved me. Never heard from or saw her again."
Normal service will resume soon, promise.
You just never sometimes though. I think on the whole it's better to not know, but then in certain situations it's just utterly heartbreaking.
Life can be cruel at times.
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"This made me instantly think of my dog who I had to put to sleep 3 weeks ago it broke me and when i took him in didn’t even get to cuddle and say goodbye properly
Why not? "
Becuase they took him away for checks not knowing how bad it was, next time I see him to put him to sleep he didn’t know I was there |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"This made me instantly think of my dog who I had to put to sleep 3 weeks ago it broke me and when i took him in didn’t even get to cuddle and say goodbye properly
Why not?
Becuase they took him away for checks not knowing how bad it was, next time I see him to put him to sleep he didn’t know I was there"
Oh no, I'm really sorry you had to go through that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"This made me instantly think of my dog who I had to put to sleep 3 weeks ago it broke me and when i took him in didn’t even get to cuddle and say goodbye properly"
I hady dog put down 2 years ago and I still remember every second. |
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"This made me instantly think of my dog who I had to put to sleep 3 weeks ago it broke me and when i took him in didn’t even get to cuddle and say goodbye properly
I hady dog put down 2 years ago and I still remember every second. "
To be honest it’s the hardest coming home and him not being here, broke me |
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"This made me instantly think of my dog who I had to put to sleep 3 weeks ago it broke me and when i took him in didn’t even get to cuddle and say goodbye properly
I hady dog put down 2 years ago and I still remember every second.
To be honest it’s the hardest coming home and him not being here, broke me "
Or coming home and the other one is wondering where he is |
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I wish in the final year of my Grandad's life, I'd been able to spend more time with him. The COVID pandemic saw that off. At least I was able to spend half a day in the hospital on the day before he died. However, having to wear full PPE meant I couldn't physically touch him and that was horrible |
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By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Would it have made a difference knowing that it was the last time?
Last time you saw that someone.
Last time you held their hand.
Last time you spoke to them.
The last message you sent.
The last time you felt their lips on yours.
There's a lot of things we do and we don't realise at the time that that's the last time we'll ever do that.
Would you of changed things if you'd known? Spent a little longer writing that message knowing they'd never read another.
When you kissed them goodbye, if you knew it was the last time would you have a kissed them a little longer.
Not knowing it's the last time, a blessing or a curse?
"
Ive always spent the time in doing as much as possible but no longer a door mat. It's only a blessing if you let them in again but a curse they have to live with if not is it worth it |
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"That's pretty deep.
Two moments pop into my mind. Probably the two women I have loved the most.
My wife, she went to the GP with a headache. Next time I saw her she was on life support in ICU. Still remember the last moment like yesterday. I was hanging some stupid blinds. I said do you want me to come with you. She said no she would be fine. Wish I had gone, maybe I could have said goodbye then.
Second an absolute whirlwind of a scouser. She asked me to leave my wife for her, I said no. She went for me. She was only little 5' 2" but she punched like Chun li! I had her at arm's length whilst she was flailing at me, then she bit my wrist deep man locked on like a pitbull. Wife came home like wtf. She stormed out. Looked back at me from the bottom of the stairs, like this is it. Told her to fuck off. Wish I hadn't done that. She called me months later said she still loved me. Never heard from or saw her again.
Normal service will resume soon, promise.
You just never sometimes though. I think on the whole it's better to not know, but then in certain situations it's just utterly heartbreaking.
Life can be cruel at times.
"
I expect you to be tearing my heart out and my last moments are witnessing you eat it, by tomorrow. 
I agree with you on the whole. And yes life can be vicious. Joyful too with a bit of  |
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I think it could be a blessing.My mum died suddenly and i hadnt seen her for a few days.You do feel guilty even when you couldnt have known.
When my dad was dying I knew and was able to spend lots of time with him and be there at the end.
I think maybe we should try & remember we could lose somebody at anytime.
I read on fb a meme that said something similar to:Always speak to people in a way that you'd be happy with ,in case it was the last time you saw them.
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"This is very close to my heart. The last time I saw my late beloved I didn't know it was going to be the last time. We had a perfect day and I wouldn't have changed anything. It's a memory I hold dear.
The very last time I spoke to him on the phone was just a quick call to tell me something. I wish the call had been longer. We always ended our calls with I love you so that is the very last words we said to each other."
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A person dying then yes, when my grandfather died it broke me as a kid as he was my hero and to have time with him as a teenager and an adult, I would have loved to have his advice, his time.
Friends come and go, I know people have lives as do I and people have their roads to travel, sometimes those oads cross, sometimes they deverge away from each other.
Relasionships no, because I have been emotionaly betrayed too many times that I wish they had left sooner.
A beautiful post Raven.
Those you lose, they're the hardest. There's nothing you can do.
I have one relationship I wish had left sooner!
I can be thoughtful, sometimes. "
You'll be fine when the rum's gone.. |
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"Would it have made a difference knowing that it was the last time?
Last time you saw that someone.
Last time you held their hand.
Last time you spoke to them.
The last message you sent.
The last time you felt their lips on yours.
There's a lot of things we do and we don't realise at the time that that's the last time we'll ever do that.
Would you of changed things if you'd known? Spent a little longer writing that message knowing they'd never read another.
When you kissed them goodbye, if you knew it was the last time would you have a kissed them a little longer.
Not knowing it's the last time, a blessing or a curse?
"
I knew it was the last time the morning I woke up with my head on my husbands chest, him intubated on a hospital bed. Knowing the night before the doctors had said they could do no more.
I knew what was coming, I knew his machines would be switched off. In the few days before I’d squeeze his hand to see oh he squeezed back. He did once.
I held on tight.
I got close to his ear and told him how happy he had made me, how much I loved him, I played him videos so he could hear the kids voices on it, told him we would never stop talking about him.
The last time I spoke to him was four days prior. I’d been in to see him already that day but had a feeling I just wanted to go back. The nurses said they were asking him if he wanted any food, any water, and he just said ‘where’s my wife’
I tried to help him feel comfortable. Helped him sip his water. We both laughed when he had to wear this cpap head thing, he said take a pic- as we thought we could laugh about it once he was home.
I told him I loved him, he told me.
The next day he was intubated so un conscious when I got there. Stupidly I didn’t realise he would be unconscious. Maybe I would have said more the night before.
I don’t know if knowing it was all the last time was a blessing or a curse. My heart breaks with the memories, I’m sobbing as I type. It’ll never, ever leave me.
The last kiss was after I’d watched him die.
We left the room and they cleared away all the machines and equipment. We went back in and he still had a tube up his nose but it was clipped. They had to keep it there as we wanted a post mortem.
When I kissed him I could smell the tube. He always had the softest lips.
I couldn’t believe he was lying there, not moving but still warm.
Tell the people you love that you love them - how much they mean to you. Say it again, and again, over and over |
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"Would it have made a difference knowing that it was the last time?
Last time you saw that someone.
Last time you held their hand.
Last time you spoke to them.
The last message you sent.
The last time you felt their lips on yours.
There's a lot of things we do and we don't realise at the time that that's the last time we'll ever do that.
Would you of changed things if you'd known? Spent a little longer writing that message knowing they'd never read another.
When you kissed them goodbye, if you knew it was the last time would you have a kissed them a little longer.
Not knowing it's the last time, a blessing or a curse?
"
Yes. Too many last times with hindsight.
Now, every time I say goodbye to my family I fear it’ll be the last time. When Ailsa and our child go out for the day, I watch them drive away and I say a little prayer that they’ll both come back (I’m not religious, but I do it anyway). |
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By *lynJMan
over a year ago
Morden |
Exactly a year ago today, my beloved was taken into hospital after fainting. She'd had seizures before and the paramedics took her in just before midnight on 30th April. I spoke to her later after she had been admitted.
The next morning, 1st May, I went into visit her, she was in the critical care unit - ICU by another name. I spent a couple of hours there and arranged to come back later because a Tesco delivery was due. As I left we exchanged our usual words of endearment. She'd just ordered fish pie for lunch.
I'd barely been home 10mins when I got a call to say I should get back to the hospital as soon as I could.
When I got there, they told me she'd had a cardiac arrest but they had got her back but she was on a ventilator, and unconscious. I remember seeing the fish pie on a table at the side of the room.
I called her children and sister so they could be there too.
She didn't recover consciousness and the life support was turned off at about 11:45 that evening.
We always said how much we loved each other but I wish I hadn't left to be there for the delivery. I don't know if that would have made any difference though. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Exactly a year ago today, my beloved was taken into hospital after fainting. She'd had seizures before and the paramedics took her in just before midnight on 30th April. I spoke to her later after she had been admitted.
The next morning, 1st May, I went into visit her, she was in the critical care unit - ICU by another name. I spent a couple of hours there and arranged to come back later because a Tesco delivery was due. As I left we exchanged our usual words of endearment. She'd just ordered fish pie for lunch.
I'd barely been home 10mins when I got a call to say I should get back to the hospital as soon as I could.
When I got there, they told me she'd had a cardiac arrest but they had got her back but she was on a ventilator, and unconscious. I remember seeing the fish pie on a table at the side of the room.
I called her children and sister so they could be there too.
She didn't recover consciousness and the life support was turned off at about 11:45 that evening.
We always said how much we loved each other but I wish I hadn't left to be there for the delivery. I don't know if that would have made any difference though. "
Fuck Glen. I thought a woman could only make me cry. Dude. *bro hug. |
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By *lynJMan
over a year ago
Morden |
"Exactly a year ago today, my beloved was taken into hospital after fainting. She'd had seizures before and the paramedics took her in just before midnight on 30th April. I spoke to her later after she had been admitted.
The next morning, 1st May, I went into visit her, she was in the critical care unit - ICU by another name. I spent a couple of hours there and arranged to come back later because a Tesco delivery was due. As I left we exchanged our usual words of endearment. She'd just ordered fish pie for lunch.
I'd barely been home 10mins when I got a call to say I should get back to the hospital as soon as I could.
When I got there, they told me she'd had a cardiac arrest but they had got her back but she was on a ventilator, and unconscious. I remember seeing the fish pie on a table at the side of the room.
I called her children and sister so they could be there too.
She didn't recover consciousness and the life support was turned off at about 11:45 that evening.
We always said how much we loved each other but I wish I hadn't left to be there for the delivery. I don't know if that would have made any difference though.
Fuck Glen. I thought a woman could only make me cry. Dude. *bro hug. "
Thanks Woody |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Reading through the thread about the losses people have experienced. I'm sorry
Raven, you may go back to your usual acerbic self tomorrow. We won't forget though.  |
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I'm am eternal pessimist. I often believe that when I part ways with someone with the intention of it being temporarily it may always be the last time I see them. Because sometimes life works that way.
I hold every moment with the people I adore very close to my heart. I try to make sure every second I spend with them is one I'll never regret. That they always know how I feel about them even if my expressions are less than traditional.
All of my memories are in sensation and emotion rather than images and sound. Parting on a negative weighs very heavily on my soul and is something I truly try to avoid. |
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I wouldn’t want to know.
I live my life & make my decisions based on my current feelings & knowledge.. they’re not always right. But they are always genuine, heartfelt & real. And that’s me. And how I want to live.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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God damn, this is way to heart breaking to think about. I think that's why I try not to let arguments liger with family as you never know what their last impression of you is. And it's probably why I'll always sign off a call with a quick "love you" regardless of if it's my Mum, Dad, brother, sisters. It's important that they know that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My simple answer is no.
Things happen for a reason and I dont believe I have any control over that.
I try not to worry about things I can not control, there is no point. |
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Only joking.