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Interest...
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
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So, a *wise* old man told me today that apparently the less interested you are in someone, the more they want you. Apparently the "not that bothered" approach is an aphrodisiac.
Is that true for you? Are you the sort of person to be cool and collected or more of a heart on the sleeve sort of person? |
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By *evonrobMan
over a year ago
Kingsbridge |
"So, a *wise* old man told me today that apparently the less interested you are in someone, the more they want you. Apparently the "not that bothered" approach is an aphrodisiac.
Is that true for you? Are you the sort of person to be cool and collected or more of a heart on the sleeve sort of person? "
I’m not in the least but interested in you! ( he lied) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, a *wise* old man told me today that apparently the less interested you are in someone, the more they want you. Apparently the "not that bothered" approach is an aphrodisiac.
Is that true for you? Are you the sort of person to be cool and collected or more of a heart on the sleeve sort of person? "
This is actually very true.
Sure fire way to get a guy liking you, ignore them.
Though have to say works on me aswell. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, a *wise* old man told me today that apparently the less interested you are in someone, the more they want you. Apparently the "not that bothered" approach is an aphrodisiac.
Is that true for you? Are you the sort of person to be cool and collected or more of a heart on the sleeve sort of person? "
I'm wear your heart on your sleeve kind of woman.
And it never ends well.
I always say I shall change, but the reality is I couldn't play games even if I wanted to.
I'm just more guarded instead now. |
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"So, a *wise* old man told me today that apparently the less interested you are in someone, the more they want you. Apparently the "not that bothered" approach is an aphrodisiac.
Is that true for you? Are you the sort of person to be cool and collected or more of a heart on the sleeve sort of person? "
This doesn’t work for us at all. If we think someone isn’t that bothered, we will just leave them be. |
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"I do think you can be over eager. I think over the years on here I've played it pretty cool. If their interested their interested I've never gone out of my way to get a man's interest"
Yeah, over eager isn't good. But I'd never pretend not to be interested just to seem more desirable.
J |
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If someone isn't interested in me I find it pretty easy to stop wasting their time with my presence. Not because I don't enjoy the chase or whatever, but because if the energy doesn't match then it's just not fun.
I know how much I loathe feeling obliged to spend time with someone who doesn't excite me. I wouldn't want to put that on someone else just for my own benefit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m definitely a heart on my sleeve guy, I’m not cool enough to play it cool,
If I like someone I tell them, I’m a realist though and know it doesn’t always work |
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"I do think you can be over eager. I think over the years on here I've played it pretty cool. If their interested their interested I've never gone out of my way to get a man's interest
Yeah, over eager isn't good. But I'd never pretend not to be interested just to seem more desirable.
J"
I don't pretend to not be interested I just don't go gushing over people. I don't play games but I would say I used to play it cool |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, a *wise* old man told me today that apparently the less interested you are in someone, the more they want you. Apparently the "not that bothered" approach is an aphrodisiac.
Is that true for you? Are you the sort of person to be cool and collected or more of a heart on the sleeve sort of person?
This is actually very true.
Sure fire way to get a guy liking you, ignore them.
Though have to say works on me aswell. "
It's not a deliberate thing.
Or maybe it is.
I don't show my feelings very well, or at all in fact. I do deliberately keep guys at arm's length.
Also, guys telling me they like me just freaks me out, which is why them acting like they don't attracts me.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, a *wise* old man told me today that apparently the less interested you are in someone, the more they want you. Apparently the "not that bothered" approach is an aphrodisiac.
Is that true for you? Are you the sort of person to be cool and collected or more of a heart on the sleeve sort of person? "
Is this why we have to use the block button after so many deletes?
I usually usually just see if it all flows nicely and naturally and go with it if I'm interested. Or it just doesn't flow and then leave them be. Hough I think I'm pretty obvious when I like someone. Maybe a bit too obvious. |
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"So, a *wise* old man told me today that apparently the less interested you are in someone, the more they want you. Apparently the "not that bothered" approach is an aphrodisiac.
Is that true for you? Are you the sort of person to be cool and collected or more of a heart on the sleeve sort of person? "
Heart on sleeve everytime |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"So, a *wise* old man told me today that apparently the less interested you are in someone, the more they want you. Apparently the "not that bothered" approach is an aphrodisiac.
Is that true for you? Are you the sort of person to be cool and collected or more of a heart on the sleeve sort of person? "
Something tells me he's not actually that wise.
A cynic would say that any guy who thinks that way assumes has a really good get out of jail free card up his sleeve when he gets told to fuck off and leave someone alone. 
"Oh sorry, I only kept pestering you cos you were playing hard to get!" 
It's also a real ego saver when someone gets ignored constantly. 
A |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I need to be told that you like me or I’m just going to think that you don’t. I don’t do all that playing hard to get stuff.
I like you.
(This flirting stuff’s dead easy.)"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm 100% a 'heart on my sleeve' person. If I like someone, I'll tell them. If someone is interested in me, I expect them to tell me. I can't be arsed with mind games
Mrs |
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"So, a *wise* old man told me today that apparently the less interested you are in someone, the more they want you. Apparently the "not that bothered" approach is an aphrodisiac.
Is that true for you? Are you the sort of person to be cool and collected or more of a heart on the sleeve sort of person? "
No anytime does anything other than be authentic to get my interest, I switch off.
Maybe it works but the people it works on won't be for me. |
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"Well, my profile tagline literally say I'm not meeting. How many guys do you think regularly message me to ask if I'm meeting yet?
"
Is it 7?
It’s 7 isn’t it?
Wait. Is this one of them prehistorical questions? |
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"So, a *wise* old man told me today that apparently the less interested you are in someone, the more they want you. Apparently the "not that bothered" approach is an aphrodisiac.
Is that true for you? Are you the sort of person to be cool and collected or more of a heart on the sleeve sort of person? "
You give me blue balls |
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"So, a *wise* old man told me today that apparently the less interested you are in someone, the more they want you. Apparently the "not that bothered" approach is an aphrodisiac.
Is that true for you? Are you the sort of person to be cool and collected or more of a heart on the sleeve sort of person?
You give me blue balls "
That was meant to be more smiley  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm always surprised when someone is in to me, flattered in fact. So I respond positively. Only have had one girlfriend/lover use the "treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen" approach, and with hindsight I can see she was just liked the hurt it caused. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I'm heart on sleeve. I think if you have good feelings about someone then you should tell them.
It's nice to be told that someone has good feelings about you, after all.
Those feelings should never be given with strings though.
I don't like when people play games. I have enough of a problem believing someone likes me when they show it. If they seem not to then I just assume they don't, and have no interest in trying ro change their mind. |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
Noooo not for me. If I don't think someone is fussed at all I will completely pull away. I don't have the confidence or the energy to entertain the fact they may be playing hard to get  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, a *wise* old man told me today that apparently the less interested you are in someone, the more they want you. Apparently the "not that bothered" approach is an aphrodisiac.
Is that true for you? Are you the sort of person to be cool and collected or more of a heart on the sleeve sort of person? "
I find the more disinterested i am, the more alluring i become  |
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If someone feigns lack of interest, or doehave interest in me, then I grow colder. Relationships need honesty as well as investment from each partner.
Any hints of game playing, trying to coercively manipulate someone to possibly become more dependent or something similar, is both desperate and dishonest.
I've had a couple of experiences where someone has been suspect and I've called them out on their behaviour and moved on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think I am quite a 'not that bothered' person, but I don't mean anything bad by that or take any pride in hurting anyone's feelings. I think I'm pretty clear with anyone from Fab that I'm not gonna be interested in anything more than super casual hook-ups, yet it has become an issue when they suddenly start wanting more (probably purely because I don't!) |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
"No.
I want to feel wanted and desired. I also want to make them feel that way too.
Now have this in my head https://youtu.be/-qgpewMCVjs
Before I even opened the link that was the song that popped into my head
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I hate game playing of any sort, if I feel like someone is doing this to me ill shut down. Men think makes you want them more but it just has the opposite effect. |
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"So, a *wise* old man told me today that apparently the less interested you are in someone, the more they want you. Apparently the "not that bothered" approach is an aphrodisiac.
Is that true for you? Are you the sort of person to be cool and collected or more of a heart on the sleeve sort of person? "
No that is not true for me. I don't find aloof people attractive and if I realised that they were being aloof on purpose , i'd find that manipulative.
I'm direct - not blunt but direct so if that unnerves someone then one of two things will happen; either we will never be or we will warm to each other in time
I'm not into 'tricks' / 'bait'/ traps - they only land fish that should not have been caught.
I'm me and I am open and honest. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"I think I'm alone in how I am "
No, I don't think so. I'll reply to other posts soon but I don't think you're alone in that train of thought. Not from conversations with friends etc. |
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By *eli OP Woman
over a year ago
. |
"Treat 'em mean, keep' em keen has never worked for me. Playing games with people just isn't me.
J"
It can be game playing. I think some people naturally are a bit more... guarded. Less prone to saying how they feel etc. But yes, the game playing doesn't really work for me. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
If someone is acting like they aren't interested I take it as they aren't so won't bother chasing them. It's the same for me if I'm interested they will know. I don't see the point in playing games and I won't tolerate someone doing it to me either. And I don't see any point in being interested in meeting someone who isn't actually into you that is just setting yourself up for dissappointment. |
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By *rKnowMan
over a year ago
Bristol & Exeter |
I think there’s a difference between game playing and being cautious. For me, if I’m attracted to someone then I’ll show I’m interested, if they reciprocate then great, if it’s a straight ‘nope’ then I take it at face value. But there are always shades of grey. I think text only media make that harder |
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If someone isnt consistent in their interest in me then i will assume they arent interested and move on. I tend to be pretty obvious if i like someone, but only if its reciprocated. Cant be doing with people who breadcrumb x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Treat 'em mean, keep' em keen has never worked for me. Playing games with people just isn't me.
J
It can be game playing. I think some people naturally are a bit more... guarded. Less prone to saying how they feel etc. But yes, the game playing doesn't really work for me."
And I think many people are guarded because of bad experiences. I'm not a naturally guarded person, but I'm pretty cautious these days. I explain that, but some still take offence and that's their call. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well, my profile tagline literally say I'm not meeting. How many guys do you think regularly message me to ask if I'm meeting yet?
"
If you untick everything on your Looking For list it takes you off the searches.
Otherwise your profile shows up as Looking....  |
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"Treat 'em mean, keep' em keen has never worked for me. Playing games with people just isn't me.
J
It can be game playing. I think some people naturally are a bit more... guarded. Less prone to saying how they feel etc. But yes, the game playing doesn't really work for me.
And I think many people are guarded because of bad experiences. I'm not a naturally guarded person, but I'm pretty cautious these days. I explain that, but some still take offence and that's their call. "
That's so true. I think because I'm already in a relationship it affects my answers. If I were single I also would be much more guarded.
J |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So, a *wise* old man told me today that apparently the less interested you are in someone, the more they want you. Apparently the "not that bothered" approach is an aphrodisiac.
Is that true for you? Are you the sort of person to be cool and collected or more of a heart on the sleeve sort of person?
Something tells me he's not actually that wise.
A cynic would say that any guy who thinks that way assumes has a really good get out of jail free card up his sleeve when he gets told to fuck off and leave someone alone.
"Oh sorry, I only kept pestering you cos you were playing hard to get!"
It's also a real ego saver when someone gets ignored constantly.
A"
 |
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"Treat 'em mean, keep' em keen has never worked for me. Playing games with people just isn't me.
J
It can be game playing. I think some people naturally are a bit more... guarded. Less prone to saying how they feel etc. But yes, the game playing doesn't really work for me.
And I think many people are guarded because of bad experiences. I'm not a naturally guarded person, but I'm pretty cautious these days. I explain that, but some still take offence and that's their call.
That's so true. I think because I'm already in a relationship it affects my answers. If I were single I also would be much more guarded.
J"
I think it's possible to be guarded without appearing disinterested |
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By *KloganMan
over a year ago
Ramsbottom |
It’s interesting to see so many different and opposing views on this. It sure does make the reading of a bio pretty important and this site a minefield when interacting.
Do you change how you act to suit someone? Or do you stick to your guns, be yourself? I like to think I’d wear my heart on my sleeve but I’m also respectful of how people want to interact. (Sometimes) |
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That would be the quickest way to make sure I walked away and never looked back. I don't even really go on words. Words are too easy to say even when you don't really mean them. Actions matter. Show me you like me, as I'll show you I'm interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone says that they’re not bothered then I just move on, simples"
This is it for me, even if show little interest. I’ve spent so much energy chasing something that wasn’t supposed to be, I could have given that energy to myself or my friends.
Someone took my attention for granted, and it drained me. Sadly others are now paying for it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I haven't had interest on here forever...people used to message me all the time like I'm sure you do or I know loads do but it never materialised so I think it was a load of shit? Haha
But no, on a forum where we mainly don't know each other I don't think people hide being attracted to people. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Treat 'em mean, keep' em keen has never worked for me. Playing games with people just isn't me.
J
It can be game playing. I think some people naturally are a bit more... guarded. Less prone to saying how they feel etc. But yes, the game playing doesn't really work for me.
And I think many people are guarded because of bad experiences. I'm not a naturally guarded person, but I'm pretty cautious these days. I explain that, but some still take offence and that's their call.
That's so true. I think because I'm already in a relationship it affects my answers. If I were single I also would be much more guarded.
J"
Knowing that someone has your back and will protect you makes a big difference. Absolutely. |
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I don't really do the 'not that bothered' approach, if I like someone I want them to know.
On the flip side of that, if when I feel someone is not that bothered about me, then I would never try and pursue anything with them |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
Wales |
I prefer men to be a bit aloof as opposed to too keen.
Too keen gets me running for the hills, as I feel suffocated. I like space.
I have been told in the past that I have a knack of giving off “not bothered” vibes which isn’t my intent, I just like emotionally self sufficient men.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I prefer men to be a bit aloof as opposed to too keen.
Too keen gets me running for the hills, as I feel suffocated. I like space.
I have been told in the past that I have a knack of giving off “not bothered” vibes which isn’t my intent, I just like emotionally self sufficient men.
"
I've come to realise I am the same. I'm quite wary of "love bombing" approaches as in my experience it dies off quickly. |
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If we genuinely like someone we’ll tell them that but we’re not for chasing.
As our profile has stated for a long time, we’ll put as much effort into you as you put into us.
Also, generally you can’t control how others react to your natural aloofness/personality.
It’s a bit like the good looking famous people who’s names get banded around as massively desirable, they can’t control that you find their appearance desirable. They didn’t directly encourage the desire. |
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"I prefer men to be a bit aloof as opposed to too keen.
Too keen gets me running for the hills, as I feel suffocated. I like space.
I have been told in the past that I have a knack of giving off “not bothered” vibes which isn’t my intent, I just like emotionally self sufficient men.
I've come to realise I am the same. I'm quite wary of "love bombing" approaches as in my experience it dies off quickly. "
Why does it have to be one or the other.
Some people are well balanced in their approach to relationships however fleeting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Being a little bit "not interested" is what Bad Bitch found refreshing about me when we met. I wasn't playing games, I'd just decided that chasing a new relationship was something I wanted a break from as I had finally come to terms with the horrible breakup of my marriage and realised that I didn't need a relationship to validate myself.
One perfectly placed whisper in her ear of "I love you" as I got in the taxi and drove away after her birthday party was the blue touch paper that lit the explosion that is the most intensely loving relationship I've ever experienced in my life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I prefer men to be a bit aloof as opposed to too keen.
Too keen gets me running for the hills, as I feel suffocated. I like space.
I have been told in the past that I have a knack of giving off “not bothered” vibes which isn’t my intent, I just like emotionally self sufficient men.
I've come to realise I am the same. I'm quite wary of "love bombing" approaches as in my experience it dies off quickly.
Why does it have to be one or the other.
Some people are well balanced in their approach to relationships however fleeting."
Well-balanced is good. Not sure it describes a lot of people on the site |
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"I prefer men to be a bit aloof as opposed to too keen.
Too keen gets me running for the hills, as I feel suffocated. I like space.
I have been told in the past that I have a knack of giving off “not bothered” vibes which isn’t my intent, I just like emotionally self sufficient men.
I've come to realise I am the same. I'm quite wary of "love bombing" approaches as in my experience it dies off quickly.
Why does it have to be one or the other.
Some people are well balanced in their approach to relationships however fleeting.
Well-balanced is good. Not sure it describes a lot of people on the site "
I'm bloody sure it doesn't  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's quite a competitive environment especially for single males so I can sort of get that some would put in efforts that could be viewed as over the top.
My brief attempts at swinging as a single male showed me that I was way too backwards at coming forward and had very little of the other attributes that make for a successful single male - I'm way too engineer |
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If someone shows no interest in me,I usually don`t pay none in them 
