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Knee trembling...

By *eli OP Woman over a year ago

And sex.

That first time you have sex with someone is always rather exciting isn't it? A new person, a new body to discover and learn.

But... is it as good as when you've met someone a few times? Have you ever been surprised by how intense/good it can be? Do you find the orgasms are easier/better when you know someone well?

What makes you think, yep, I'd like to do that again? Because I've heard stories from friends of lacklustre sex, not particularly satisfying and yet they return.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

All the sex I've ever had is lack lustre, none stand out as knee trembling. Yes I realise that it is probably me.

Yet I still try for more.

I think it's a form of self punishment.

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By *rder66Man over a year ago

Tatooine

"All the sex I've ever had is lack lustre, none stand out as knee trembling. Yes I realise that it is probably me.

Yet I still try for more.

I think it's a form of self punishment.

"
Morning Raven

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"But... is it as good as when you've met someone a few times? Have you ever been surprised by how intense/good it can be? Do you find the orgasms are easier/better when you know someone well?"

Absolutely! 10 years on it is still incredible.

I'm not surprised by it but I do sometimes wonder why he hasn't done it 'like that' before

I do find they're easier and better as he knows my body language down to a T. The guys we've met and had sex with, yes they're still great and understand my body language but there's something about having sex with the same person that is magical. We've been together almost 10 years and I love having sex with him, knowing he'll blow my mind over and over

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All the sex I've ever had is lack lustre, none stand out as knee trembling. Yes I realise that it is probably me.

Yet I still try for more.

I think it's a form of self punishment.

Morning Raven

Good morning

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All the sex I've ever had is lack lustre, none stand out as knee trembling. Yes I realise that it is probably me.

Yet I still try for more.

I think it's a form of self punishment.

Good Morning, I thought you were writing a post for me there for a second

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By *eli OP Woman over a year ago

"All the sex I've ever had is lack lustre, none stand out as knee trembling. Yes I realise that it is probably me.

Yet I still try for more.

I think it's a form of self punishment.

Masochism is hot.

No, being serious Raven, has it all really been lacklustre or is that your current mood rather than reality?

I think sex is something the majority of us try to experience. Again and again. Successfully or not. Hopefully you'll find that lustre in sex soon - say yes to the weekend. Do it. x

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

This is how we’ve always been! We met with the intention of being fwb but it just kept getting better and better and we got closer and closer.

That was 7 years ago and it’s still getting better now!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All the sex I've ever had is lack lustre, none stand out as knee trembling. Yes I realise that it is probably me.

Yet I still try for more.

I think it's a form of self punishment.

If only you agreed to one night with us we can show you that all your other meets were full of lust

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All the sex I've ever had is lack lustre, none stand out as knee trembling. Yes I realise that it is probably me.

Yet I still try for more.

I think it's a form of self punishment.

Masochism is hot.

No, being serious Raven, has it all really been lacklustre or is that your current mood rather than reality?

I think sex is something the majority of us try to experience. Again and again. Successfully or not. Hopefully you'll find that lustre in sex soon - say yes to the weekend. Do it. x "

Are you saying I'm never serious on here?

But no, in all honesty, I've met guys I fancy like mad obviously, but there is no stand out amazing sex. It's always just, meh, alright. I think I missed the boat on the amazing sex and multiple orgasms.

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By *hampagnesteveMan over a year ago

Wimbledon

"All the sex I've ever had is lack lustre, none stand out as knee trembling. Yes I realise that it is probably me.

Yet I still try for more.

I think it's a form of self punishment.

Masochism is hot.

No, being serious Raven, has it all really been lacklustre or is that your current mood rather than reality?

I think sex is something the majority of us try to experience. Again and again. Successfully or not. Hopefully you'll find that lustre in sex soon - say yes to the weekend. Do it. x

Are you saying I'm never serious on here?

Maybe it's time to meet men you don't fancy lol. I am here whenever you need. Totally unfanciable

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By *rder66Man over a year ago

Tatooine

"All the sex I've ever had is lack lustre, none stand out as knee trembling. Yes I realise that it is probably me.

Yet I still try for more.

I think it's a form of self punishment.

Masochism is hot.

No, being serious Raven, has it all really been lacklustre or is that your current mood rather than reality?

I think sex is something the majority of us try to experience. Again and again. Successfully or not. Hopefully you'll find that lustre in sex soon - say yes to the weekend. Do it. x

Are you saying I'm never serious on here?

"
Don't worry, there is still time Raven, perhaps you need to meet someone with a slightly different approach and mindset about sex

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By *rancois Du BoisMan over a year ago

Down the back of the sofa.

"And sex.

That first time you have sex with someone is always rather exciting isn't it? A new person, a new body to discover and learn.

But... is it as good as when you've met someone a few times? Have you ever been surprised by how intense/good it can be? Do you find the orgasms are easier/better when you know someone well?

What makes you think, yep, I'd like to do that again? Because I've heard stories from friends of lacklustre sex, not particularly satisfying and yet they return. "

When I’m with Kitty it can just hit right. Maybe we’ve been teasing each other all day, maybe it’s just the right time for both our hormones, or maybe it’s the setting but sometimes it’s just so intense.

Yesterday was 13 years since she became my girlfriend

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think the first time is exciting. The anticipation, the build up, the newness. All those unseen but hinted at things to discover and explore.

However it can also be awkward,let's be honest the first time you know someone is going to see you naked can be quite daunting (at least it is for me) there's always nerves with the excitement and I guess niggling worries that I might be a bit of a let down (oddly I never think they could be)

Its still fun though, its full of possibilities and potential, novelty and lust.

Familiar sex is different but no less exciting. You've got to the point where you're no longer worried about how your sex face looks in the moment, you've learnt each other and boundaries shift and you discover new and exciting all over again.

Regardless of it being the first or the twenty first time, if it's the right person it will be great. If its not you're probably not going to get past a third time.

As it's so often mentioned, communication is everything. People aren't mind readers. Talk about what works and doesn't and don't be shy about what you need.

Holding back is not fun.

Half hearted is not fun.

I've now written so much, I can't remember the question

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I had mediocre sex until I hit my 40s , now I'm not settling. I tend to stick with the same fuck buddies now and whilst it's not a relationship thr sex does get better as I'm human and still feel things lol. Doesn't need to be love. There is fondness, attraction, lust and passion

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By *eli OP Woman over a year ago

"But... is it as good as when you've met someone a few times? Have you ever been surprised by how intense/good it can be? Do you find the orgasms are easier/better when you know someone well?

Absolutely! 10 years on it is still incredible.

I'm not surprised by it but I do sometimes wonder why he hasn't done it 'like that' before

Awww F that's so lovely! 10 years on. Gosh, that's such a long time (she types even though she'll soon be hitting the ten year anniversary with the fiancé).

Yes, sex with other people can be fantastic, really hot. I think when someone knows you, learns exactly your responses, rejoices in that it's truly something mindblowing.

Do you think you'll reach the point where you're a bit bored of it ever?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think the first time is exciting. The anticipation, the build up, the newness. All those unseen but hinted at things to discover and explore.

Its still fun though, its full of possibilities and potential, novelty and lust.

Regardless of it being the first or the twenty first time, if it's the right person it will be great. If its not you're probably not going to get past a third time.

As it's so often mentioned, communication is everything. People aren't mind readers. Talk about what works and doesn't and don't be shy about what you need.

Holding back is not fun.

Half hearted is not fun.

I've now written so much, I can't remember the question

Looking at your pictures I can't either

But the answers yes, whatever the question was that you asked, the answers yes

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All the sex I've ever had is lack lustre, none stand out as knee trembling. Yes I realise that it is probably me.

Yet I still try for more.

I think it's a form of self punishment.

Masochism is hot.

No, being serious Raven, has it all really been lacklustre or is that your current mood rather than reality?

I think sex is something the majority of us try to experience. Again and again. Successfully or not. Hopefully you'll find that lustre in sex soon - say yes to the weekend. Do it. x

Are you saying I'm never serious on here?

If you're ever desperate I'll show you the less good looking ones are no different

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By *hrista BellendWoman over a year ago

surrounded by twinkly lights

Yeah I've done that. But I enjoyed the time spent with him, so that's why I kept going back. If we were sexually incompatible into the friendzone it would go.

I've only met a few knee tremblers and typically distance is a major factor In our available time together

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All the sex I've ever had is lack lustre, none stand out as knee trembling. Yes I realise that it is probably me.

Yet I still try for more.

I think it's a form of self punishment.

Are you sure you were not a cistercian monk in a former life (not that they believe in reincarnation, but they were big on self flagellation).

Mwah xx

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Awww F that's so lovely! 10 years on. Gosh, that's such a long time (she types even though she'll soon be hitting the ten year anniversary with the fiancé).

Yes, sex with other people can be fantastic, really hot. I think when someone knows you, learns exactly your responses, rejoices in that it's truly something mindblowing.

Do you think you'll reach the point where you're a bit bored of it ever? "

I know I won't ever get bored of it. He makes sure of that

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By *eli OP Woman over a year ago

"This is how we’ve always been! We met with the intention of being fwb but it just kept getting better and better and we got closer and closer.

That was 7 years ago and it’s still getting better now!

Adorable.

It's still getting better now? Yep, you've found a keeper in each other. That's so lovely! I've sometimes found that sex with people can be great but then that chemistry fizzles and it's not... as exciting as the first few times. It can peak too early. So then I fizzle things out. Politely. While maintaining friendship.

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By *MandMMCouple over a year ago

Welwyn garden city

23 years in, and we still have knee trembling sex.

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By *eli OP Woman over a year ago

"All the sex I've ever had is lack lustre, none stand out as knee trembling. Yes I realise that it is probably me.

Yet I still try for more.

I think it's a form of self punishment.

Masochism is hot.

No, being serious Raven, has it all really been lacklustre or is that your current mood rather than reality?

I think sex is something the majority of us try to experience. Again and again. Successfully or not. Hopefully you'll find that lustre in sex soon - say yes to the weekend. Do it. x

Are you saying I'm never serious on here?

Ha, I'd never make such an accusation.

Meh alright but you enjoyed it nevertheless? That's important. You can enjoy spending time with someone, the sex can be good but not fireworks explosive and that's okay. Sex can be fun and doesn't have to be all multiple orgasms to make it worthwhile doing.

I hope you meet a man you fancy like mad soon Raven. I enjoy your erm... friskier posts.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Sometimes it just comes down to chemistry. If you have that lust for someone, it can override the technicalities of what makes sex amazing. Being in tune with each others bodies and knowing what buttons to press can only come from a regular partner though but as you get to know a person, it can change that dynamic somehow.

If someone blew my mind then of course I'd wanna see them again but for now I'll just settle for the lust of a stranger that disappears into the night.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Overshare time? Possibly. I have had PIV sex with precisely 3 people. So perhaps not enough to make any observations statistically significant but anyway...

In my early twenties I decided I was too old to still be a virgin so I had a one night stand on one of my trips as cabin crew. Whilst he was very sweet, in my head I was thinking 'oh, well that wasn't worth waiting for'. No knee trembling, no lustre but that was probably as much to do with me not knowing what I was doing.

Soon after I met B. Don't remember much about the first time as we were both tipsy. I do remember that I had to meet his parents for the first time the next morning. Would not recommend meeting future in-laws like that. Over the last 20 years there has been incredible sex and I would say it's still getting better and tremblier.

There has been sex with each other in a few clubs since we started exploring and one time involved a swap. I'm still (months later) overthinking it but much of the horniness came from the novelty and the exploring together. Knees didn't tremble but it was good.

I'll hit post and decide whether the to delete this essay for a few minutes.

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By *ansoffateMan over a year ago

Sagittarius A

I do like your posts Meli, they are thought provoking.

I kind of look at the first time more like testing the water, if I'm honest. Takes time to get attuned to each other sometimes so if it's not amazing I won't necessarily write it off.

On the occasions where it has been then awesome from the start then woohoo!

I think there can be a habit these days with the whole online thing to build it up in your heads. And then the weight of expectation can set in. Can make it hard to get in the moment sometimes, if you are living in your head.

Sometimes if the first time is good then it's more complicated. Feelies kick in and you got to work out what to do with that.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

There are times in my past where I would of said sex with the same person can get monotonous and unsatisfying and just going through the motions.

But here I am, 20 years on with my husband, still having amazing sex with the most intense orgasms which leave me weak and jelly legged. All the emotions that are there go alongside the physical act and enhance the sex. So yes, sex can definitely be as good/better with the same person as what it can with someone new.

I still do thoroughly enjoy the buzz and excitement and orgasms from being with someone new too. Variety is the slice of life.

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By *bi HaiveMan over a year ago
Forum Mod

Cheeseville, Somerset

"All the sex I've ever had is lack lustre, none stand out as knee trembling. Yes I realise that it is probably me.

Yet I still try for more.

I think it's a form of self punishment.

You have to fuck a lot of frogs to find a horny toad though.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple over a year ago

Manchester-ish

As I've left it too late to delete I'll add more. Familiarity can also breed laziness. Without effort, regular sex with the same person can become pedestrian and basically just dialling it home. We went through a phase where we were both unhappy. I thought he didn't fancy me anymore, B thought I was no longer attracted to him. It has taken a lot of hard work to repair our relationship. There has to be an effort to let each other know you still fancy each other, to continue to find out what gets each other off because this does change over time.

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By *reyToTheFairiesWoman over a year ago

Carlisle usually

I'm very easily pleased. I've never had consensual sex without an orgasm. I know I'm lucky.

That first time I'm often too in my own head though. Too worried about all the potential and possibilities and what could go wrong. Too tied up in silly sabotaging thoughts.

When it's pointless hedonism at a club I ease into it better, but that's not my preferred style.

The first time is enough for me to know if I want more though. The best sex I have is with the people who know me truly, with that connection and what builds up over time.

I'd take a knee trembling session with one of my partners over a random but enjoyable lay with something pretty any day.

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By *inkyfun2013Couple over a year ago

lewisham

We've been together 15 years and it is still sometimes Earth shatteringly hot.

There are people we've been playing with for maybe 10 years and that's hot too.

And fucking a stranger you only met an hour ago and don't even know their real name can be glorious.

It's all good! Bring it on!

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple over a year ago

Leeds

"And sex.

That first time you have sex with someone is always rather exciting isn't it? A new person, a new body to discover and learn.

But... is it as good as when you've met someone a few times? Have you ever been surprised by how intense/good it can be? Do you find the orgasms are easier/better when you know someone well?

What makes you think, yep, I'd like to do that again? Because I've heard stories from friends of lacklustre sex, not particularly satisfying and yet they return. "

I find I gets better after a few times once you learn to know each others bodies and likes, I rarely orgasm on a 1st meet, yes the excitement is there but I find things get better as they go.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"As I've left it too late to delete I'll add more. Familiarity can also breed laziness. Without effort, regular sex with the same person can become pedestrian and basically just dialling it home. We went through a phase where we were both unhappy. I thought he didn't fancy me anymore, B thought I was no longer attracted to him. It has taken a lot of hard work to repair our relationship. There has to be an effort to let each other know you still fancy each other, to continue to find out what gets each other off because this does change over time.

J, that is beautiful, thank you for sharing

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By *eli OP Woman over a year ago

"When I’m with Kitty it can just hit right. Maybe we’ve been teasing each other all day, maybe it’s just the right time for both our hormones, or maybe it’s the setting but sometimes it’s just so intense.

Yesterday was 13 years since she became my girlfriend

13 years!

You two are perfectly suited so I can see how the sex would be very intense. I do think there's something that happens over time where it hits more of your wants. Not just physically. Emotionally.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"All the sex I've ever had is lack lustre, none stand out as knee trembling. Yes I realise that it is probably me.

Yet I still try for more.

I think it's a form of self punishment.

Maybe just optimism..?

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By *ris GrayMan over a year ago

Dorchester

"And sex.

That first time you have sex with someone is always rather exciting isn't it? A new person, a new body to discover and learn.

But... is it as good as when you've met someone a few times? Have you ever been surprised by how intense/good it can be? Do you find the orgasms are easier/better when you know someone well?

What makes you think, yep, I'd like to do that again? Because I've heard stories from friends of lacklustre sex, not particularly satisfying and yet they return. "
I've had really exciting sex with women who've surprised me, i haven't had lacklustre sex with too many really I'd say 2

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

That connection!

If I'm relaxed and there's that chemistry, I'll meet with them again (if they want to haha).

Generally don't go back to someone if the sex is average or if we just don't click properly or I can't relax fully.

100% love a regular

the more you meet the more intense it can get and the trust gets built more meaning you can explore more.

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By *egDaySkipperMan over a year ago

Liverpool

I find repeat meets get better with each time. Plus you can go exploring on second, third, fourth meets!

Weekend getaways, hiking trips, airbnbs with a hot tub

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

In terms of knee trembling sex, there is only one woman I have known that happen to when we were having sex. Most of my experiences have been average (my fault), though I can think of two different occasions (with two different partners over the years) where the sex was knee trembling for me.

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By *aui.Man over a year ago

around here

From personal experience I find it does get better over time but that's not to say the first time can't be amazing.

Usually if the first time is good I would be interested in exploring further (if the other person is too). If its not great then I don't really see the point in meeting again to be honest.

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Regardless of it being the first or the twenty first time, if it's the right person it will be great. If it’s not you're probably not going to get past a third time."

I love how specific you’ve been there with ‘third time’. Three strikes and you’re out.

"But... is it as good as when you've met someone a few times? Have you ever been surprised by how intense/good it can be? Do you find the orgasms are easier/better when you know someone well?"

I feel like this thread talks a lot about first times and about long-time lovers, but nobody’s really mentioned the bit in-between. And I think that hinterland deserves a little love.

Because MsWyld’s right about the first time being just as full of nerves as it is thrills. In a good way, but there’s undeniably a bit of fear and self-doubt involved. Body image, performance anxiety, the whole package.

But get past that, and there’s something freeing on the other side. Those next few times, when it’s still new and experimental but it’s a little more relaxed. And maybe that’s all during the same long night together! Or maybe it’s over the next few weeks or months. But that sense of feeling comfortable with each other and able to really let go is quite something.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Regardless of it being the first or the twenty first time, if it's the right person it will be great. If it’s not you're probably not going to get past a third time.

I love how specific you’ve been there with ‘third time’. Three strikes and you’re out.

But... is it as good as when you've met someone a few times? Have you ever been surprised by how intense/good it can be? Do you find the orgasms are easier/better when you know someone well?

I feel like this thread talks a lot about first times and about long-time lovers, but nobody’s really mentioned the bit in-between. And I think that hinterland deserves a little love.

Are you getting nervous now

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"Are you getting nervous now

Yes! But I made friends with nerves like these long ago. I recognise them as a sign that I really want this. You. That I give a damn about what you think.

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By *rHotNottsMan over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I prefer to wait a while, not because I don’t think it will be great but I want to be sure it’s not going to be a one off. I’d rather do that sorry not for me conversation pre sex

There’s a few exceptions, forgive me

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Are you getting nervous now

Yes! But I made friends with nerves like these long ago. I recognise them as a sign that I really want this. You. That I give a damn about what you think.

Nerves are great.. Kisses to ease them are better

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By *eli OP Woman over a year ago

"I think the first time is exciting. The anticipation, the build up, the newness. All those unseen but hinted at things to discover and explore.

Its still fun though, its full of possibilities and potential, novelty and lust.

Regardless of it being the first or the twenty first time, if it's the right person it will be great. If its not you're probably not going to get past a third time.

As it's so often mentioned, communication is everything. People aren't mind readers. Talk about what works and doesn't and don't be shy about what you need.

Holding back is not fun.

Half hearted is not fun.

I've now written so much, I can't remember the question

Oh I like your waffle! They were more general prompts rather than questions to be strictly answered.

Yeah, I never think "oh the other person might be not that great/as I imagine" but I do have those fleeting thoughts of... "maybe my oral will bore them". Or "do they really want to see me naked". It's daft really.

I love lust. I'm a tad addicted to it, to the point where a dear friend messaged me on WA saying 'Spill the beans Meli, who's ignited that lust?' after reading my posts lately.

I think I prefer when lust becomes desires though. That sort of deeper sexual attraction, not my initial yep, I would feeling.

Communication is important whether it's a first time partner or a more established one.

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By *eli OP Woman over a year ago

"I had mediocre sex until I hit my 40s , now I'm not settling. I tend to stick with the same fuck buddies now and whilst it's not a relationship thr sex does get better as I'm human and still feel things lol. Doesn't need to be love. There is fondness, attraction, lust and passion

Oh don't settle! Why put up with mediocre sex? It doesn't really leave you satisfied, sometimes you can feel a bit used and hollow after. It's just a bit pointless really.

No, it doesn't need to be love to be fantastic sex. It's such a personal thing. Like you, I need that fondness, attraction and passion though. If it isn't quite there I'm probably not going to do it.

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By *eli OP Woman over a year ago

"Yeah I've done that. But I enjoyed the time spent with him, so that's why I kept going back. If we were sexually incompatible into the friendzone it would go.

I've only met a few knee tremblers and typically distance is a major factor In our available time together

Time spent with someone is important isn't it? The sex doesn't have to be some epic fuckfest - you can have fun and just enjoy it without thinking about too much else.

Knee tremblers are a rare, irksome breed. Sometimes I wonder why I'm so sexually compatible with someone even though they're a bit of a dick. But that sort of sex isn't something you come across often is it? Add in distance and it can be a bit of a pain.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I’ve had a few intense moments during sex and a lustful embrace.

There’s none more memorable than a my wedding night. (Happy memories). I’ve also been so lost in the moment of passion where I’ve cried *true story, full filled with intense happiness whilst making love to each other.

I’ve heard myself growl, when I get all frisky, and that was when I really let myself go.

Getting lost in the moment so much you have multiple orgasms….

It’s all to do with how much I think they are into it though, if I feel the attraction is both ways and at the same level, I’m happy to be wherever it takes us.

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By *eli OP Woman over a year ago

"Sometimes it just comes down to chemistry. If you have that lust for someone, it can override the technicalities of what makes sex amazing. Being in tune with each others bodies and knowing what buttons to press can only come from a regular partner though but as you get to know a person, it can change that dynamic somehow.

If someone blew my mind then of course I'd wanna see them again but for now I'll just settle for the lust of a stranger that disappears into the night. "

Yes, I know what you mean about that dynamic changing. It does. We change and sex can be... complicated.

I think someone can naturally be in tune with your body or quickly pick up what you like, how your body responds to certain stimuli. That isn't just something that comes with time. I've had some very amazing sex when it's been the first time. It's just worked.

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By *uriousscouserWoman over a year ago

Wirral

First times for me are exciting but very rarely mind-blowing. There is always a level of nerves and a slight awkwardness until you knock off some of the pointy corners and understand what does and doesn't work between you.

The most mind-blowing, knee-trembling sex I've had is almost always the last sex I've had (I have a short memory), but my best experiences have tended to be with people I've known and have had sex with for a good while.

The less nervous and awkward I feel, the less inhibited I am and the more I can let myself go and revel in feelings rather than thoughts.

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By *elvet RopeMan over a year ago

by the big field

"And sex.

That first time you have sex with someone is always rather exciting isn't it? A new person, a new body to discover and learn.

But... is it as good as when you've met someone a few times? Have you ever been surprised by how intense/good it can be? Do you find the orgasms are easier/better when you know someone well?

What makes you think, yep, I'd like to do that again? Because I've heard stories from friends of lacklustre sex, not particularly satisfying and yet they return. "

Pretty much all but a few meets in this world have been at least excellent and often fan-fucking-tastic! Probably because I’ve spent a while chatting before, doing the flirt, building the ant……icipation- so when you do finally meet, it just needs those neck kisses, a few words of filth, a little growling and some well placed hands or fingers and I usually find the interaction in return is just as intense

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By *eli OP Woman over a year ago

"Overshare time? Possibly. I have had PIV sex with precisely 3 people. So perhaps not enough to make any observations statistically significant but anyway...

I'll hit post and decide whether the to delete this essay for a few minutes.

Julie?

It's not an essay. And being this authentic, this open? It's a beautiful thing, thank you for sharing.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

[Removed by poster at 25/04/23 13:20:25]

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By *eli OP Woman over a year ago

"I do like your posts Meli, they are thought provoking.

I kind of look at the first time more like testing the water, if I'm honest. Takes time to get attuned to each other sometimes so if it's not amazing I won't necessarily write it off.

On the occasions where it has been then awesome from the start then woohoo!

Sometimes if the first time is good then it's more complicated. Feelies kick in and you got to work out what to do with that."

Aww thank you! I waffle on but I don't know. I like the myriad of responses they receive. Makes me see things in a different light sometimes, consider how others might view it. Generally they're very much from situations or conversations that I think.. yep. This might work.

Testing the water is a nice way of looking at it, removes some of the pressure. I've not had anything less than very good first time sex for years. A decade now! I think I'm at the point where unless everything else was compatible and I loved their company... I might stick with their friendship.

It's not just online that adds up to expectations building. People are far more likely to discuss sex. Especially if you meet from a site like this, sometimes people expect the full works to rival the best, all holes access porn.

Feelies? Such a cute word. Feelies aren't a bad thing are they though? You just have to try and be sensible. Calm. Rational(ish).

Enjoy it for what it is.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman over a year ago

little house on the praire

Hi Meli. Here's my essay.

In my life I've had crap sex where no matter what you do your incompatable. I've also had mind blowing sex as a one off or first meet.

I remember meeting a young lad in a club once which wasn't my norm and wow did the sparks fly. We high fived each other after

Never saw him again or remember his name but is a good memory.

I do generally agree though that sex does get better the more you know someone. It becomes easy you both automatically know how to please each other. Even with just gentleman friends have to continue to put the effort in other wise it can get boring. I remember being with a long term friend who I always had amazing sex yet one time it just didn't work we just seemed to not be able to get it together. Afterwards we both said it was crap. But I went back as I know we where just having a bad day.

Even in longterm relationships I don't think it can be perfect everything.

I don't really have one stand out memory as being the best ever as I said I've had some amazing one of sex. Sometimes I think it's best to leave it there on a high.

I've never had bad sex with someone from fab. I've always talked to them for a while first. I've always gone for quietly confident guys. I can't bare guys that big themselves up your heading to be let down. Guys who don't even have to talk about sex but reading between the lines in general conversation you know it's going to be good and I've never been let down.

I would say in my life I've had far far more better sex than I have had bad sex. I can't remember the last time I had bad sex it's been so long. But I am a good communicater.

One thing I have to say to end this waffle is that lying in bed with Jay after we made love he always said it was like the first time

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By *ansexualPandaMan over a year ago

Near You

As a guy, the only time I've had knee-trembling sex is when I've had a "hands-free" or prostate orgasm.

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By *ansoffateMan over a year ago

Sagittarius A

"I do like your posts Meli, they are thought provoking.

I kind of look at the first time more like testing the water, if I'm honest. Takes time to get attuned to each other sometimes so if it's not amazing I won't necessarily write it off.

On the occasions where it has been then awesome from the start then woohoo!

Sometimes if the first time is good then it's more complicated. Feelies kick in and you got to work out what to do with that.

Feelies? Such a cute word. Feelies aren't a bad thing are they though? You just have to try and be sensible. Calm. Rational(ish).

Enjoy it for what it is."

By all means please be verbose, your use of language has a natural elegance.

I agree, friendship is a beautiful thing. Not to be undervalued. If there's natural chemistry sometimes it's better than all holes accessed porn. Those conversations are a great way to learn about each other though and fun.

Feelies (lol yeah, I like cute) are wonderful they can change things though. Open communication all the way, is the answer for me. Sometimes situations make what it is impossible, that's happened to me today. She was upset, I feel shit when that happens. But it seems like we are going to stay friends

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By *ose-tinted GlassesMan over a year ago

Glasgow / London

"One thing I have to say to end this waffle is that lying in bed with Jay after we made love he always said it was like the first time"

Diamond, that’s beautiful.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"I think the first time is exciting. The anticipation, the build up, the newness. All those unseen but hinted at things to discover and explore.

Its still fun though, its full of possibilities and potential, novelty and lust.

Regardless of it being the first or the twenty first time, if it's the right person it will be great. If its not you're probably not going to get past a third time.

As it's so often mentioned, communication is everything. People aren't mind readers. Talk about what works and doesn't and don't be shy about what you need.

Holding back is not fun.

Half hearted is not fun.

I've now written so much, I can't remember the question

Looking at your pictures I can't either

But the answers yes, whatever the question was that you asked, the answers yes

A Cornish one on here? No way

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

I think the first time with someone is exciting yes but not always a knee trembler just because of the reasons mentioned about learning about what makes each other tick and that takes time. Liking the person enough and knowing you want to explore them, would make me want to go back and make it better each time. I think I must be dead inside though as I am trying hard to remember those days when you are weak from the feelings of having great sex. I must have at some point or I would have taken up knitting by now and not be here patiently waiting.

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By *eli OP Woman over a year ago

"There are times in my past where I would of said sex with the same person can get monotonous and unsatisfying and just going through the motions.

I still do thoroughly enjoy the buzz and excitement and orgasms from being with someone new too. Variety is the slice of life."

Oh Ruby. This really makes me happy to read.

One, because it's you and I talking about this sort of thing, like this, now. It's so lovely reading your happy.

Variety can be a brilliant thing can't it? It doesn't necessarily mean orgasms are less intense, sex with someone else is better... it's just different.

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By *eli OP Woman over a year ago

Oh I agree wholeheartedly.

I think sometimes we get so caught up in life we can stop making an effort with a person who we're in a relationship with to let them know they're still desired. Whether that's through physical intimacy (not sex!), flirty messages. Things that say 'hey you, I do fancy you'. It's important.

And there is a sort of laziness that happens. More often than not, it's part of why I let things fizzle with sexual partners. There's just not that feeling of being wanted by the other, my little flirty messages are ignored, it ends up feeling like I'm not particularly desired and then I start losing interest in them. Someone else reminds me that I'm a sexual being, a desirable one. And even if the first person does still want me, they don't show it.

Unable to discuss it, I fizzle. It's easier.

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