FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > When things end with a partner.
When things end with a partner.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I'm talking sexual partners. Not those relationship ones.
When one decides they can't continue anymore, or its just run it's course, or its not working, or life circumstances dictate it.
How do you end things?
How have people ended things with you?
I've noticed that all too often it's just one straight block or blunt message and this can leave people feeling rather down and upset or just plain used. And I've heard of this happening to men more as I generally speak to men most.
Does it happen both ways? Do women experience a sharp exit with little context?
Guys what do you experience?
We see threads on being ghosted and blocked a lot but not always relating to ending something that been going on for months or more.
What have your experiences been? |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"I'm talking sexual partners. Not those relationship ones.
When one decides they can't continue anymore, or its just run it's course, or its not working, or life circumstances dictate it.
How do you end things?
How have people ended things with you?
I've noticed that all too often it's just one straight block or blunt message and this can leave people feeling rather down and upset or just plain used. And I've heard of this happening to men more as I generally speak to men most.
Does it happen both ways? Do women experience a sharp exit with little context?
Guys what do you experience?
We see threads on being ghosted and blocked a lot but not always relating to ending something that been going on for months or more.
What have your experiences been? "
just block no explanation because no explanation is due and last message ' thanks but no thanks'  |
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We have been bluntly ghosted by friends and sexual partners more times than I can count. Some were intense but short lived relationships, others lasted close to a year. In all cases it made us feel used. Seems to be a pretty normal way for people to behave these days. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Often things fizzle out, or the door is still open just life has gor in the way. Personally I try to be kind if I have no intention of having sex with them again then I will say. I will only ghost if there is something else in their behaviour like not taking no for an answer. Often though I still speak to some people from time to time. |
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We slow fade and stop making plans with each other. The veris from others Starr stacking up and that draws a happy line underneath it. We still chat occasionally, but into the friendzone we both put it 
Ironically it's the ones who I've sex chatted with but never met that do the ghosting, and that goes for couples and single men |
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To be honest when I was meeting some would just fizzle out.
But the long term ones we just carried on seeing each other. Seemed like forever. When I stopped meeting altogether I explained to them. They knew I'd been having difficulties so don't think it came as a shock. I still chat to them but it's just as friends now and one still wants to come and see me as friends but I'm not ready for that. |
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I'm a N/A here but what it's worth if you mean on here isn't that what it's about it's just meet up don't get to close especially to any couples as there couples your not gonna be meeting him or her for coffees or whatever alone, and people have stranger sex meets so there is zero connection there, now your conventional sites that's tougher to get a knock back but it happens just brush it off and go again, life to short to waste on people who don't want you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If things have run their course and fizzled you both normally know. I've been exceptionally lucky to keep all my past playmates as friends too by having an adult conversation about where we both see things going.
It can be a bit damn awkward for a while but if I've liked someone enough to want to be intimate it's because I like the person and wouldn't want them completely out of my life unless that's what they need/want.
E xx |
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That's good way too see it  but this more for the couples. What if say the man or woman would absolutely love to see this person again really would but your partner whoever it be the man or woman says absolutely no bloody chance, how do you solve problem toss a coin? No on serious point thar must of happened odd few times, very tricky. |
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I'd rather the bluntest of messages than a slow fade.
I am not great at picking up on hints so I'll continue to message until I realise I've been talking to myself for months, then I get embarrassed and angry with myself for not seeing it sooner and making a nuisance of myself.
Just tell me, however bluntly, I'm a grown-up and can cope! Even if telling me is by way of blocking me, at least it's a clear signal.
I've only ended things with a FB/FWB twice. Once was when I was giving monogamy a go, so that was the message I sent (it had been building for a while so was half-expected), and once when things had been getting steadily more stressful and less fun for a while, when I met him for a coffee and talked it over and we decided to call it quits while we were still on friendly terms. |
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By *aui.Man
over a year ago
around here |
If its someone I've been meeting regularly I'd expect more than just to be blocked. I'd be pretty disappointed in my own character judgement if that was the case.
If everyone is clear about the boundaries and what the relationship is then there is no reason why it can't just be a simple chat. I find that if feelings have crept in for one or both parties things can be more difficult. |
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If it's an actual friendship with benefits that's failing for some reason then that's a definite conversation for me.
If it's just a fuck buddy where the chemistry has fizzled out I'd probably just leave it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If its someone I've been meeting regularly I'd expect more than just to be blocked. I'd be pretty disappointed in my own character judgement if that was the case.
If everyone is clear about the boundaries and what the relationship is then there is no reason why it can't just be a simple chat. I find that if feelings have crept in for one or both parties things can be more difficult. "
I'm with you on this.
I just see examples of people that have a friendship alongside the sex but with no feelings drop people without any decency and I find it quite harsh. Especially when you see the effect it has had on some people. And especially when people get dropped for another. |
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"I'm talking sexual partners. Not those relationship ones.
When one decides they can't continue anymore, or its just run it's course, or its not working, or life circumstances dictate it.
How do you end things?
How have people ended things with you?
I've noticed that all too often it's just one straight block or blunt message and this can leave people feeling rather down and upset or just plain used. And I've heard of this happening to men more as I generally speak to men most.
Does it happen both ways? Do women experience a sharp exit with little context?
Guys what do you experience?
We see threads on being ghosted and blocked a lot but not always relating to ending something that been going on for months or more.
What have your experiences been? "
Do I need to answer this one honestly 
Yes we do experience this  |
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"If its someone I've been meeting regularly I'd expect more than just to be blocked. I'd be pretty disappointed in my own character judgement if that was the case.
If everyone is clear about the boundaries and what the relationship is then there is no reason why it can't just be a simple chat. I find that if feelings have crept in for one or both parties things can be more difficult. "
Exactly. And losing faith in your character judgement leads to being cynical about every new person you meet, which is not a healthy place to find yourself. Can take a while to find a way out of it. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'm talking sexual partners. Not those relationship ones.
When one decides they can't continue anymore, or its just run it's course, or its not working, or life circumstances dictate it.
How do you end things?
How have people ended things with you?
I've noticed that all too often it's just one straight block or blunt message and this can leave people feeling rather down and upset or just plain used. And I've heard of this happening to men more as I generally speak to men most.
Does it happen both ways? Do women experience a sharp exit with little context?
Guys what do you experience?
We see threads on being ghosted and blocked a lot but not always relating to ending something that been going on for months or more.
What have your experiences been?
Do I need to answer this one honestly
Yes we do experience this "
Honesty is always good. Isn't it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My experience recently was I could tell he was drifting away and not talking much so I was the one that actually asked him out right been seeing each other for 3 years just about. Now just good friends that know alot about each other and chat from time to time seeing how each other are getting along that kinda thing. Did bother me at first but you just move on x |
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Honesty is always the best policy....
Especially if something has been a little more than just sex.
I'm quite sensitive, and generally care about everyone in life, not just those I dance the dirty tango with, so when I was ghosted by someone who was alittle more than a FB (I did consider him more of FWB, there was daily conversations, about everythin from life in general, to filth etc)
it was an absolute mind fuck,
I was genuinely really worried about them.
Then I managed to move along n almost forget them,
Only for them to drop me a message, just to reignite the mind fuckery.
And then disappear again!
Mind fuckery level 100 was reached by that point!
Id of appreciated a 'i just don't wanna play anymore' message as opposed to being left guessing!
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By *ycom72Man
over a year ago
Birmingham |
"Honesty is always the best policy....
Especially if something has been a little more than just sex.
I'm quite sensitive, and generally care about everyone in life, not just those I dance the dirty tango with, so when I was ghosted by someone who was alittle more than a FB (I did consider him more of FWB, there was daily conversations, about everythin from life in general, to filth etc)
it was an absolute mind fuck,
I was genuinely really worried about them.
Then I managed to move along n almost forget them,
Only for them to drop me a message, just to reignite the mind fuckery.
And then disappear again!
Mind fuckery level 100 was reached by that point!
Id of appreciated a 'i just don't wanna play anymore' message as opposed to being left guessing!
"
Not worth the mind fuckery wasted 5yrs of my life doing that .. move on and stay away for your own sanity no how good the sex is |
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"I'm talking sexual partners. Not those relationship ones.
When one decides they can't continue anymore, or its just run it's course, or its not working, or life circumstances dictate it.
How do you end things?
How have people ended things with you?
I've noticed that all too often it's just one straight block or blunt message and this can leave people feeling rather down and upset or just plain used. And I've heard of this happening to men more as I generally speak to men most.
Does it happen both ways? Do women experience a sharp exit with little context?
Guys what do you experience?
We see threads on being ghosted and blocked a lot but not always relating to ending something that been going on for months or more.
What have your experiences been?
Do I need to answer this one honestly
Yes we do experience this
Honesty is always good. Isn't it? "
Suppose I was a little gutted when a previous partner ended it suddenly but all for the best i guess .. the sex was amazing tho and I think that’s why I was annoyed the most |
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I've got to an age now where things are going to end because I haven't woken up one morning, or have come out of hospital in a box.
I won't be around to know how the other parties deal with it ending! |
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By *4bimMan
over a year ago
Farnborough Hampshire |
Never block at first.
If something wasn't working for me id message them first and ask if I can speak to them.
Explain myself calmly, be polite and explain the reason why.
She can call me all the names under the sun, block me whatever.
That wouldn't stay with me. But hopefully I'd have some fond memories of her to think about sometime.
And you know what. A few women I've met and then for whatever reason we have stopped meeting I'm still in contact with and they call now and then to see how life is.
Never hate them. You share good times together and they are rare in life.
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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With both my past fwb it was understood that they were just marking time with me until the opportunity for someone more permanent came along. It was all very civilised, and meant we could have fun and enjoy each other’s company without any unreasonable expectations. When that happened for them, we parted on good terms, like a friend emigrating for good. |
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I find it better not to leave loose ends, it isn't always possible though. Takes two to talk.
Varied responses from women tbh, I don't think it can be generalized. I find with sexual partners, one or both eventually catches the feelies, if enough time passes.
So I'm not sure I can consider the two as mutually exclusive, as distinctly as your good self. |
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"I'm talking sexual partners. Not those relationship ones.
When one decides they can't continue anymore, or its just run it's course, or its not working, or life circumstances dictate it.
How do you end things?
How have people ended things with you?
I've noticed that all too often it's just one straight block or blunt message and this can leave people feeling rather down and upset or just plain used. And I've heard of this happening to men more as I generally speak to men most.
Does it happen both ways? Do women experience a sharp exit with little context?
Guys what do you experience?
We see threads on being ghosted and blocked a lot but not always relating to ending something that been going on for months or more.
What have your experiences been? "
I have and still remain friends with all of my FB even though sex isn't involved. Started off as friends don't see why you can't remain friends. |
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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
Usually just some straight forward but sensitive messages. I did one time get a coffee and a chat with someone but that’s because we did a few socials anyways. Ghosting and blocking just feels rude when a few messages suffice. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My last FWB ghosted me. We've shared a lot of time together on and off over nearly four years of friendship. That stung.
I'm still ok with other longer-term sexual partner. Parted on good terms. |
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"One of mine just didn't turn up for a meet and went AWOL. Not a word. That was really quite hurtful.
I usually tell someone I'm just not feeling it and don't wish to continue. "
It’s not nice is it , I’ve been ghosted but told it was over a few days after a great weekend, didn’t see it coming at all .. you just never know sometimes |
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