FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Why do some people go back to their ex?
Why do some people go back to their ex?
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
I watched a movie and she regretted splitting up with her husband and many years later they accidentally met in a bar and they talked abit and she said in the end how she missed him and wanted to start over, he wasnt sure about what to do as it was she that left him.
Wat is your view shout it, is it regret or that they might not have found anyone else?  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think it’s a dicy area to go backwards not forwards.
Though some people perhaps for a reason that can be resolved like a career choice that meant moving away
If it’s a non entity reason like cheating / bored / didn’t feel right etc then I would say it’s pointless personally |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sometimes things happen that come between people and it doesn’t mean they wouldn’t be blissfully happy if that thing is removed.
So I wouldn’t say it’s ALWAYS a bad idea.. just most of the time 
Mr |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Shag that sounds like my life, she'd always try and keep contact in the hope that things could possibly go back the way they were before even after years later receiving the odd call or message. Mind you we did have something special until she ruined it. So I moved on as well |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I moved all the way back from Wales to Eastbourne when a ex begged me to get back with her after a few years apart. Was a huge mistake and I'd never go back to a ex again after that.
Sometimes people have a spell on you because of good things in the past. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
Every relationship is unique. Onmy the two people involved know what their dynsmic is, and whether it's in them to give each other another chance. There's plenty of received wisdom about breakups, and people are also influenced by their own experience; which is understandable.
My own opinion is that if you know reach other well, and are genuine, you both deserve to give each other a chance to make your relationship work.
Ultimately, it's up to the couple. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Shag that sounds like my life, she'd always try and keep contact in the hope that things could possibly go back the way they were before even after years later receiving the odd call or message. Mind you we did have something special until she ruined it. So I moved on as well "
I see, yes, so the best way there was to move on too  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *elloWoman
over a year ago
alpha centauri |
6 years ago very briefly I tried things again with an ex, thought that after 12 years I'm no longer the same person so he probably isn't either, thought maybe he'd grown as a person.
But nope still the same controlling abusive twat, and it reassured me that I definitely made the right decision all those years ago.
I'm actually meeting up with an ex next month for some daytime fun, we haven't seen each other for 8 years but message each other very often, and talk about who we've been seeing and send eachother filthy photos so I guess we're friends with benefits rather than a couple now. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"6 years ago very briefly I tried things again with an ex, thought that after 12 years I'm no longer the same person so he probably isn't either, thought maybe he'd grown as a person.
But nope still the same controlling abusive twat, and it reassured me that I definitely made the right decision all those years ago.
I'm actually meeting up with an ex next month for some daytime fun, we haven't seen each other for 8 years but message each other very often, and talk about who we've been seeing and send eachother filthy photos so I guess we're friends with benefits rather than a couple now."
Hi, that is good that you made the right decision there and that sounds good to me that you will meet up with an ex next month too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
Never go back k, never take anyone back who's dumped you. I am around a lot of women with my dance hobby and 70% of them are divorced and freely admit to being the ones who initiated it.
Main reasons being they were bored and wanted to see what was out there. Most are now saying they regretted it and want their ex back because they cannot find men. Yes they can find men for sex but not for committed relationships. They have also done very well out of divorce getting an entire house and still getting maintainence payments even though ther kids are adults. This makes a lot of men including
myself very wary of commitment. I worked extremely hard and had a lot if struggles teyinb to keep my home and I would be reluctant to risk losing it. Sorry this is not going to make me hugely popular and indeed there are exceptions but these are not the general rule. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *host63Man
over a year ago
Bedfont Feltham |
Never go back k, never take anyone back who's dumped you. I am around a lot of women with my dance hobby and 70% of them are divorced and freely admit to being the ones who initiated it.
Main reasons being they were bored and wanted to see what was out there. Most are now saying they regretted it and want their ex back because they cannot find men. Yes they can find men for sex but not for committed relationships. They have also done very well out of divorce getting an entire house and still getting maintainence payments even though ther kids are adults. This makes a lot of men including
myself very wary of commitment. I worked extremely hard and had a lot if struggles trying to keep my home and I would be reluctant to risk losing it. Sorry this is not going to make me hugely popular and indeed there are exceptions but these are not the general rule. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I was dating a bloke last year, who dumped me for his ex from 25 years ago. She had gone off with someone else and broken his heart.
I think he had never got over it and had spent the last 25 years pining for her, (we went to dinner at the pub they had as a couple).
It's quite sad really, I don't think it worked out and he is all sad and lonely now.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *red333Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"I watched a movie and she regretted splitting up with her husband and many years later they accidentally met in a bar and they talked abit and she said in the end how she missed him and wanted to start over, he wasnt sure about what to do as it was she that left him.
Wat is your view shout it, is it regret or that they might not have found anyone else? "
Because they left for sex  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think some people give up on a relationship too easily. Time goes by and one or both realise this and decide to give it another go, older and possibly wiser.
Or they're lonely, not getting any sex and regretting leaving |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
My ex and I managed to end our relationship amicably and we still have the same deep bond and love towards each other now.
But I have come to realise that I don’t think I can ever replicate the same kind of relationship again with anyone else, the deepness of love and trust and the admiration I have for my ex, and so I will likely remain single now.
We have often wondered if we’d ever get back together again so maybe that’s how it happens.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"I think some people give up on a relationship too easily. Time goes by and one or both realise this and decide to give it another go, older and possibly wiser.
Or they're lonely, not getting any sex and regretting leaving "
Yes. I think so, there are different reasons for it too |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Depends on why you split up and why you're getting back together.
If you split up because you couldn't bear each other and nothing has changed, then nothing has changed!
If you're looking back with a heavy dose of nostalgia and forgetting the reality, or if single life has you dropping your standards to the point that you think "fuck it, they were better than nothing" then it's also highly unlikely to last.
I have one ex who moved to another country with work. We had a great thing going but neither of us are suited to long distance, so we split up.
If he came back to the UK I'd be more than happy to give it another go, but that's because the relationship was intrinsically sound when we ended it. We might have grown apart and no longer be compatible, but I'd certainly try. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *ucka39Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
"Perhaps because they have changed and feel it's the right thing to do do.
"
This i some what agree people can learn from their mistakes and better themselves as well as regreting their ways feeling guilty realising they had something special which is very rare especially when a person sticks around through all the rough patches where many would run |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *929Man
over a year ago
newcastle |
I went back to my ex back in 2014 after she had left 6 weeks earlier so my kids could have still a family as they were just young and put my feelings aside it didn’t work out in end but got 7 more years of living with my kids |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
If we stopped seeing each other because of circumstances and situations then in happy to take people back into my life when things have settled down again.
If it ever got to the point where it was decided we were over because of actions or behaviours, that's a forever ex. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Depends on why you split up and why you're getting back together.
If you split up because you couldn't bear each other and nothing has changed, then nothing has changed!
If you're looking back with a heavy dose of nostalgia and forgetting the reality, or if single life has you dropping your standards to the point that you think "fuck it, they were better than nothing" then it's also highly unlikely to last.
I have one ex who moved to another country with work. We had a great thing going but neither of us are suited to long distance, so we split up.
If he came back to the UK I'd be more than happy to give it another go, but that's because the relationship was intrinsically sound when we ended it. We might have grown apart and no longer be compatible, but I'd certainly try."
Yes, that is right, it also depends how you split up as well |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"I watched a movie and she regretted splitting up with her husband and many years later they accidentally met in a bar and they talked abit and she said in the end how she missed him and wanted to start over, he wasnt sure about what to do as it was she that left him.
Wat is your view shout it, is it regret or that they might not have found anyone else? "
People get married for a good reason, often because they are convinced they found that one in a million, soul mate etc
Not all marriages end badly with abuse, cheating , or if there is someone else else it’s often a one off mistake and can be forgiven but can take a long time to get over and realise.
Sometimes couples split up and years later remember why they got marked and having checked out the alternatives, realise they made the right decision first time around.
Friends of mine got divorced and then remarried a couple of years later! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"Right person. Wrong time.
Yes that's definitely a reason "
Had a few of those ! I spent about 5 years mourning one woman from my early 20s , but we met 20 years later and it was all gone thankfully, had sex a few times then parted again. Felt good to finally close that door! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
There’s no one size fits all, however I’m a forgiving person who doesn’t think they’re perfect either, so I’d be inclined to want to try and resolve whatever it is and help each other be better people. But it takes two to tango so it depends on the specifics of what went wrong and how the other person acts. I’m not a mug. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Sometimes things happen that come between people and it doesn’t mean they wouldn’t be blissfully happy if that thing is removed.
So I wouldn’t say it’s ALWAYS a bad idea.. just most of the time
Mr"
Yes, sometimes things happen that come between people, but yes, if they both feel they want to start over, that is also fine |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Think it depends on why or how you finished added to the fact that right person wrong time
There's no right or wrong answer but never would get back together just because the sex was great ... there's plenty of great sex to explore without any complications |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hagTonight OP Man
over a year ago
From the land of haribos. |
"Think it depends on why or how you finished added to the fact that right person wrong time
There's no right or wrong answer but never would get back together just because the sex was great ... there's plenty of great sex to explore without any complications "
Yes, it also depends on why they finished as well. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
