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Bystander apathy - has it got you?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So this morning I’ve been woken up by a man screaming and shouting somewhere in the locality, screaming for people to get off, followed by loud thuds. I looked out in the street and saw nothing. However the noise and shouts continued, so I put on some shorts, and a running hoodie, and went looking, and found the guy (clearly worse for wear) shouting at no one and booting a football against a wall, (5am).
No one else opened their doors, or looked through their windows, yes it’s early but the noise was very loud, the question being do people not want to get involved because of fear, or it’s not my business?
What would people here have done? |
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By *iasubTV/TS
over a year ago
Ilkeston |
For me as someone who isn’t particularly built for confrontation, I wouldn’t have gone out because you dont know what that person/group is capable of. It could very easily turn very dangerous if they have a weapon ect. You just dont know and that risk for me has to be outweighed by the benefit of me going.
If something happened in front of me say in the town centre for example I would help but if in your situation probably not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends really.
Where I live that's not common, so being nosey like I am i would of looked for sure, again depending what i saw I may have even gone out. But that is only based on where I live and knowing my neighbours.
If I lived somewhere busier and didn't know my neighbours then no I wouldn't.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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There is no right or wrong answer on this, it’s just a general question,, there are consequences for both actions, and putting yourself in danger is always the biggest risk, and can have devastating outcomes with cases in recent years showing.
I’m just wondering now I’m sat having a brew what others would have done, or have done in circumstances where something has happened, or am I just a idiot for wanting to assist someone in need in the current climate.
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"So this morning I’ve been woken up by a man screaming and shouting somewhere in the locality, screaming for people to get off, followed by loud thuds. I looked out in the street and saw nothing. However the noise and shouts continued, so I put on some shorts, and a running hoodie, and went looking, and found the guy (clearly worse for wear) shouting at no one and booting a football against a wall, (5am).
No one else opened their doors, or looked through their windows, yes it’s early but the noise was very loud, the question being do people not want to get involved because of fear, or it’s not my business?
What would people here have done?"
Put my ear defenders on its common in Torquay late at night  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are some interesting studies that have been done over the years by sociologists, the results show that a lone person is more likely to intervene in something bad/scary than a whole bunch of people together who all see/hear the same thing. Also there’s a huge element of ‘someone else will deal with it’ |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
The last time I got involved with someone else’s troubles by trying to help them, it resulted in my then boyfriend getting arrested and spending the night in the cells, because he had to intervene to protect me.
Luckily he was released without charge, but I learn’t my lesson. I’ll phone the Police, of course. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are some interesting studies that have been done over the years by sociologists, the results show that a lone person is more likely to intervene in something bad/scary than a whole bunch of people together who all see/hear the same thing. Also there’s a huge element of ‘someone else will deal with it’ "
I've read about this too ^^
I'd have gone out I'm afraid but as said above ... where I live it's just easier |
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"I guess I’m pretty reckless even still. So yes even as an ageing guy is still think someone might need help… not necessarily mine lol but I’d still go. "
Me too. I thought that was something people just did |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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“A lack of love can cause people to have no help when they need help, no friends when they need a friend,” Karmapa said. “So, in a sense, the most dangerous thing in the world is apathy. We think of weapons, violence, warfare, disease as terrible dangers, and indeed they are, but we can take measures to avoid them. But once our apathy takes hold of us, we can no longer avoid it.” |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We live in a small village and that would be really out of the ordinary! So I think we would see what’s going on but I don’t think either of us would go out into the night to try and find the cause of the noise.
Definitely not worth it when you can end up the one in the wrong. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Given my job I'd have no hesitation in going out as my first thought would have been its a vulnerable person who needs help.
However I totally understand why others wouldn't do that.
At the very least I'd hope people would show enough concern to call the police to let them check it out.
Sadly I expect not many would have which is really sad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So this morning I’ve been woken up by a man screaming and shouting somewhere in the locality, screaming for people to get off, followed by loud thuds. I looked out in the street and saw nothing. However the noise and shouts continued, so I put on some shorts, and a running hoodie, and went looking, and found the guy (clearly worse for wear) shouting at no one and booting a football against a wall, (5am).
No one else opened their doors, or looked through their windows, yes it’s early but the noise was very loud, the question being do people not want to get involved because of fear, or it’s not my business?
What would people here have done?"
I would of gone looking like you O.P, couldn't live with myself if anything bad had happened. |
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You look at person wrong way in London you're get stabbed its as simple as that, so way up options before running in like captain caveman if its safe absolutely intevene. Your taxes pay for the police there trained and got body armour call them, but if a life is at threat pick up nearest weapon and whack the cunt lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would have gone out so far as to try and see where it was coming (enough to give the police information) then called them if warranted. I wouldn’t get directly involved unless it was someone close to me in which case frankly I’d grab something to use and pile in. |
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By *ayHaychMan
over a year ago
Leeds (Home) / Sheffield (Work) |
It’s nothing new at all. Studies on conformity and diffusion of responsibility are eye opening.
A prominent psychologist did workshops for parents and kids to be “super heros” and the basis of the work was not conforming to social norms. |
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I've intervened in the past when I've known the people involved but after a friend stepped in to protect a woman who was fighting with her partner and then became the focus of attack from both of them I prefer not to get involved with random strangers.
He ended up having to get stitches in his head and was off work for a week as a reward for being a good Samaritan.
It all depends on the circumstances though.
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"There are some interesting studies that have been done over the years by sociologists, the results show that a lone person is more likely to intervene in something bad/scary than a whole bunch of people together who all see/hear the same thing. Also there’s a huge element of ‘someone else will deal with it’ "
That makes a lot of sense when you think about it. You see this often in situations on public transport |
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"The last time I got involved with someone else’s troubles by trying to help them, it resulted in my then boyfriend getting arrested and spending the night in the cells, because he had to intervene to protect me.
Luckily he was released without charge, but I learn’t my lesson. I’ll phone the Police, of course. "
This is actually a big concern/fear of mine |
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"The last time I got involved with someone else’s troubles by trying to help them, it resulted in my then boyfriend getting arrested and spending the night in the cells, because he had to intervene to protect me.
Luckily he was released without charge, but I learn’t my lesson. I’ll phone the Police, of course. "
Once I ended up with a fractured jaw from intervening, I should have learned my lesson from trying to intervene on my own against the proverbial brick ____ house weeks before.
Easy x |
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"I’d have probably opened a window, shouted “shut the f*uck up” then gone back to sleep
I’m grumpy when woken at stupid o’clock
lol that’s what my old apartment block usually did with people  "
 it does work sometimes
Thankfully I’m in a quiet neighbourhood and have only had to do it once |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Concidering I’m holding a bit of a hero status at the moment  *true story. Probably go and take a look like you op.
It you can’t predict these things, so I don’t know how you’d react at that moment. I’d like to think yes. But pitch darkness and nobody to help if there was trouble?? I’d probably phone the police. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've jumped in a few times - glad i did it, but afterwards I've realised how stupid it was, shaking with adrenaline. It stopped the other people being battered though so I'm glad i did |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There have been a few times when I’ve been rounded on by a group of guys and really appreciated someone (usually much physically larger than me) stepping in. So I do feel morally obliged to reciprocate if I had to. |
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On a different scenario where it’s not waking me up and I’m watching things go on say, in the street. I’m in the middle. I can take a punch pretty well and will do if it saves someone else getting it
Like a sacrificial lamb |
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I've helped people on a few occasions.
When we lived in London a taxi driver was being mugged and attacked by some lad who he had picked up.
I ran out Mrs called the police, dragged the lad out of the car as he was strangxxxg the driver with his seatbelt.
Needless he ran off pretty sharp.
Police arrived shortly after.
Another time my neighbour was getting attacked by a bunch of lads who where upto no good, trying to make trouble in our neighborhood,I got into one little fight and my wife got scared she said
"Your moving with your auntie and uncle in Wolverhampton. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Concidering I’m holding a bit of a hero status at the moment *true story. Probably go and take a look like you op.
It you can’t predict these things, so I don’t know how you’d react at that moment. I’d like to think yes. But pitch darkness and nobody to help if there was trouble?? I’d probably phone the police. "
Why are you a hero? |
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