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People's attitudes to people
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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There is a bit of a resurgance in the 'men be like' and 'women be like' threads. It's exasperating.
Am I naive in trying to see the world in terms of people? Just that? Not women, men, black, brown, penis lovers, vagina lovers etc etc.? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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An idealist maybe? This is how I try to see people, just as that, people/humans/mammals.
I try not to put people into categories as I think it's leads to narrow ideas. |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"There is a bit of a resurgance in the 'men be like' and 'women be like' threads. It's exasperating.
Am I naive in trying to see the world in terms of people? Just that? Not women, men, black, brown, penis lovers, vagina lovers etc etc.?"
While I'd love to be able to say you're not naive and that's how we should see the world I've been doing some learning and personal growth and realised that often when we say we just want to see people, what that often means is that we don't want to see inequality that arrises from being in a minority group.
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By *rder66Man
over a year ago
Tatooine |
"There is a bit of a resurgance in the 'men be like' and 'women be like' threads. It's exasperating.
Am I naive in trying to see the world in terms of people? Just that? Not women, men, black, brown, penis lovers, vagina lovers etc etc.?"
I agree 100% |
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"If a person speaks about what they have experienced, why would it offend those here who haven't done anything to the person posting their experiences in society so far?"
A reply from someone active on the thread please
Why is a generalised statement taken personally if you haven't done anything to a person? |
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By *TG3Man
over a year ago
Dorchester |
"There is a bit of a resurgance in the 'men be like' and 'women be like' threads. It's exasperating.
Am I naive in trying to see the world in terms of people? Just that? Not women, men, black, brown, penis lovers, vagina lovers etc etc.?"
Well you're on the fence albeit a feathered edge one  |
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"No, not nieve at all. People are people, some are lovely, some are arseholes.
Pxx"
 that's right and sadly the one thing a person does which one or a few finds offensive they'll view them as an asshole over that one thing
It amazes me considering people shout all day long no one is perfect |
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I think this it's not surprising when a huge proportion of the population identify as male or female and in gerneral there are prominent differences societal attitudes and norms between men and women. Yes we are all individuals and many of us with a huge spectrum of opinions, behaviours, outlooks, history, heritage and genders etc. But for most they just talk about things that are generally specific their identity, their own reality and how they experience the world. And obviously for the vast majority of people this is similar and they recognise the same things.
Personally I get what your saying. I like to take people individually as I find them without preconceptions. And some of this men be like and women be like stuff is BS and toxic to society. For example I find that new Meghan Trainor song Mother a bit toxic and reinforcing negative stereotypes about men and encouraging toxic attitudes towards men (but also annoyingly catchy). However we have to also be nuanced enough to understand there are prevalent trends, attitudes, experiences and behaviour in society regarding the traditional sex divide. Simply the traditional male experience is different from the traditional female experience. So although I don't think you should say all men be like and all women be like you can talk in terms of things that can generally be identified in the male and female population and experience.
I think there is also a tendency to get you back up when people talk about your sex negatively in a way you don't identity with. I get when people say be be like this, but I thinking I'm nothing like this. However then you have to remember the world doesn't revolve around you or is about you. Then you can take yourself out of the equation as an individual and look to see if the point being made about the general male population is valid or not. An observation of general trends is not an attack on you or makes you less valid as an individual.
So to me to just say we are all individual and there is no prevalent general differences between the sexes is just a inaccurate and disingenuous as to say all men and women be like this. I think our understanding of society needs to both understand prevalent trends/attitudes between the vast majority of men and women while also recognising the individual and huge spectrum of differences in or society. What most important is to give credit to stuff being said that has validity and to ignore the stuff that just rubbish.
Mr |
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"There is a bit of a resurgance in the 'men be like' and 'women be like' threads. It's exasperating.
Am I naive in trying to see the world in terms of people? Just that? Not women, men, black, brown, penis lovers, vagina lovers etc etc.?
While I'd love to be able to say you're not naive and that's how we should see the world I've been doing some learning and personal growth and realised that often when we say we just want to see people, what that often means is that we don't want to see inequality that arrises from being in a minority group.
"
I both agree and disagree with this but can't verbalise exactly my feelings. But yes. And no. Sorry if that's confusing 
Example. I use a wheelchair. I'm in the "minority" of being disabled. But I don't want being a wheelchair user to be the first thing that people see and act upon, when they meet me. Yes, we'll need to be sure we meet in a wheelchair accessible space etc, BUT what a lot of people do is make assumptions based on stereotypes or ignorance, and try to impose their version of "help" upon me. Which is annoying.
What I'm trying to explain is I don't want to be viewed as a white, disabled female. I want to be viewed as a human being and for people to find out my specific needs and wants before acting upon anything.
Does that make any sense at all?! |
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People are great. But they’re also crap. We contain multitudes.
Generalisations can be a useful tool for talking about stuff. I guess we just always need to keep in mind that they’re just that - generalisations. And try not to overuse them. Or believe they’re some sort of concrete truth when they ain’t.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If a person speaks about what they have experienced, why would it offend those here who haven't done anything to the person posting their experiences in society so far?"
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"People are great. But they’re also crap. We contain multitudes.
Generalisations can be a useful tool for talking about stuff. I guess we just always need to keep in mind that they’re just that - generalisations. And try not to overuse them. Or believe they’re some sort of concrete truth when they ain’t.
"
Precisely if a person speaks from their experience that is their experience we all have our own journey in life even if we are in the same place at once at a time.
There would have been times where a person did their journey and path before we met each other on the fab forums 
I wouldn't frown on anyone here unless they constantly show their negative, they can never try uplift another soul here or try get involved in the fun and games that goes on in the forums too
Its not all negative in the forums even if the negative overshadows the good on here |
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