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Is it gay to fantasize dressing up as sissy n getting pegged and anal sex with guy
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What do women think about it??
I am straight, have a partner and fancy women but got this kink...trying to male sense of it.
Partner knows and very supportive but not into it.  |
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By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"Does it matter if it is "gay" or not? If it’s your fantasy and you want to do it, and you're not hurting anyone... you go for it."
This. 
If you're getting pegged by a woman how can it be 'gay' ?
If you're having anal with another man but you're still married to your wife and attracted to women then it's bi, not gay.
If you’re not hurting anyone then crack on. Who cares what others think? It's your life and your enjoyment so don't make decisions asked on the thoughts of others.
A |
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"Does it matter if it is "gay" or not? If it’s your fantasy and you want to do it, and you're not hurting anyone... you go for it."
Exactly this, OP. Don’t not do it because you think it’s gay. Whether or not it is, it doesn’t matter.
Enjoy! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I hard to mention it here but the issue is that I had a traumatic sexual experience as a young child abd i only have these thoughts when i am off my face.
So I wonder it comes from a very dark place.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I hard to mention it here but the issue is that I had a traumatic sexual experience as a young child abd i only have these thoughts when i am off my face. And when i am back to my senses dont have these fantasies and the guilt takes over.
So I wonder it comes from a very dark place.
What do you guys think about it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I hard to mention it here but the issue is that I had a traumatic sexual experience as a young child abd i only have these thoughts when i am off my face.
So I wonder it comes from a very dark place.
"
So sorry to hear that OP. That must be incredibly tough for you. Have you thought about getting some talking therapy to explore those feelings more? It might be helpful for you. I’ve definitely found therapy has helped me enormously.
As far as the sexual interest you’ve described - you like what you like, why assign a label to it?  |
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Labels are for things that might get lost.
((When I thought of that it sounded really profound in my head, but it doesn’t make sense and I’m not sure of it’s purpose, but I’m trying to contribute so 5pts Mufflepup)) |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have actually signed up for therapy but i need to learn to live with the traumatic past and what comes with it.
When i m under the influence its like I am trying to relive that experience from my childhood, dressing up and getting nailed.
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Labels are for things that might get lost.
((When I thought of that it sounded really profound in my head, but it doesn’t make sense and I’m not sure of it’s purpose, but I’m trying to contribute so 5pts Mufflepup)) "
That was very profound indeed. |
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By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I have actually signed up for therapy but i need to learn to live with the traumatic past and what comes with it.
When i m under the influence its like I am trying to relive that experience from my childhood, dressing up and getting nailed.
"
Therapy could be very helpful. If you believe the desire comes from your past then it could be a good idea to try and deal with that experience before attempting to fulfil the fantasy.
Some people find that acting out such things in a safe and controlled environment is useful, but not everyone does. So I would never suggest that would be a good idea. |
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"I have actually signed up for therapy but i need to learn to live with the traumatic past and what comes with it.
When i m under the influence its like I am trying to relive that experience from my childhood, dressing up and getting nailed.
Therapy could be very helpful. If you believe the desire comes from your past then it could be a good idea to try and deal with that experience before attempting to fulfil the fantasy.
Some people find that acting out such things in a safe and controlled environment is useful, but not everyone does. So I would never suggest that would be a good idea."
What Posh says, I'll admit I went down that route. And it's unbottled a whole heap of repressed emotions. So I genuinely think it can be a very dangerous thing, especially without support. |
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Why do you need to label it ?
Why can’t you just be a bloke who likes getting fucked in the arse while wearing a dress ?
So just do what you enjoy, doesn’t need to be anything more than something you’re into.
The mr |
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It's your bum,your choice what you put in there 
If it was a man,would say BI.
But does it really matter what the label is,if it's two consenting adults.
Life's short,have fun doing the things you want to do |
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Are you fearful of being branded as homosexual? What precisely constitutes a label, and why bother trying to label it?
If your kink causes no harm to anyone, embrace it. It does not shape your identity |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Yeah ofcourse I do fear assumptions people have and how people or even your partner can have thoughts that are not true,
As obviously men dressing up in lingerie is nit socially acceptable still and comes with labels like sissy or femboy n so on
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One of the most rewarding decisions I made was to stop concerning myself with other people's opinions. I know it's not easy, but honestly, if you manage to do it your whole world will change. If you want to ease into something like this, consider meeting individuals who share similar interests. You might be astounded by the number of guys who can relate to your situation. In clubs I have met heterosexual guys in lingerie, married to beautiful women who accept them for who they are. |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"Thanks, I do think you are right but I guess under the influence the urge takes over which ends up making bad decisions."
If you suspect that you have mental health issues brought on by unprocessed childhood trauma, or any other unresolved or unexplored issues, then a referral to a mental health professional is something that you should explore. Depending on how deep-seated and damaging it is, and what modality you respond best to, the process may vary from short, sharp cognitive therapy to something more protracted. You may require medication, if that's indicated. There's no convenient, quick way past this, if that's your situation. Honestly, the best advice you'll get here, is not to take advice here (he said, giving advice). |
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By *avinaTVTV/TS
over a year ago
Transsexual Transylvania |
"Thanks, I do think you are right but I guess under the influence the urge takes over which ends up making bad decisions."
If you suspect that you have mental health issues brought on by unprocessed childhood trauma, or any other unresolved or unexplored issues, then a referral to a mental health professional is something that you should explore. Depending on how deep-seated and damaging it is, and what modality you respond best to, the process may vary from short, sharp cognitive therapy to something more protracted. You may require medication, if that's indicated. There's no convenient, quick way past this, if that's your situation. Honestly, the best advice you'll get here, is not to take advice here (he said, giving advice). |
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"Eating salad for a day doesn't make you vegan...
So... a fantasy isn't going to give you a badge or stamp or title either."
Even thinking or fantasising about eating salad all day doesn't make you a vegan!
I think it's having actual sex with a man puts someone on that spectrum. |
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"What do women think about it??
I am straight, have a partner and fancy women but got this kink...trying to male sense of it.
Partner knows and very supportive but not into it. "
Is anal sex with another guy "gay"? Maybe a little. |
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A fantasy often comes from something you’ve seen or had some previous pleasurable experience with.
However if you believe it comes from trauma that’s a different matter altogether. I would seek advice from a professional either a Doctor or Therapist as it could, if you actually went through with the fantasy, make things worse. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There are too many definitions out there. Just be yourself and enjoy yourself.
But to me gay means you are attractive to the same sex person. And enjoying anal does not make you gay. "
This.
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"I hard to mention it here but the issue is that I had a traumatic sexual experience as a young child abd i only have these thoughts when i am off my face.
So I wonder it comes from a very dark place.
"
Yes the way you are sexualised through CSA can lead to you being turned on by similar acts or behaviours.
It can also be re-traumatising and leave you experiencing hypo-arousal freeze responses. Which can leave you in very vulnerable situations.
Therapy is probably a good idea it will help you determine what is genuinely a sexual desire and what is a trauma artefact. |
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