FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > Low self esteem and body image
Low self esteem and body image
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
Good morning all you glorious lounge lizards.
Who has or still does suffer from the above?
As many are aware I post a lot about mental health issues, and some know that I write a blog on this as well, I have done a post today on Low self-esteem and body image, it has self-help ideas as well as links to groups and organisations that support mental health.
I can not post the link here so if anyone would like a read drop me a DM and I will send you the link.
Have a great hump day love from me 
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
C is quite body conscious but I don’t think it’s really down to a mental health struggle. I just think she struggles to like her body.
I on the other hand have never really had any body confidence issues. I don’t know why, even when I was close to being obese I was just happy in my own skin.
Mr |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
It may not be a popular opinion but I really do think too much is put into the “mental health” bracket these days. I think there’s a danger of it sometimes taking it away from the importance of real diagnosed mental health problems. I know not all are diagnosed and believe me I know about mental health issues as I have an autistic child so I’m not undermining anything but I do feel this way. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It may not be a popular opinion but I really do think too much is put into the “mental health” bracket these days. I think there’s a danger of it sometimes taking it away from the importance of real diagnosed mental health problems. I know not all are diagnosed and believe me I know about mental health issues as I have an autistic child so I’m not undermining anything but I do feel this way. "
An ingrown toenail and cancer are both health problems, just wholly different magnitudes. Same applies to mental health (though I do think some over emphasise the severity of relatively moderate problems). |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It may not be a popular opinion but I really do think too much is put into the “mental health” bracket these days. I think there’s a danger of it sometimes taking it away from the importance of real diagnosed mental health problems. I know not all are diagnosed and believe me I know about mental health issues as I have an autistic child so I’m not undermining anything but I do feel this way.
An ingrown toenail and cancer are both health problems, just wholly different magnitudes. Same applies to mental health (though I do think some over emphasise the severity of relatively moderate problems). "
Yes if you look at it like that I guess it makes sense. I never comment on these threads, purposely, but seeing the body image thing I decided to. I have low self esteem sometimes and body issues but I’ve never thought oh I have a mental health issue because of it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
This site has helped (me at least). After years hating myself for not being tall and slim turns out short and thicc is actually ok. So I’ve learned to live with myself rather than blame myself. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"It may not be a popular opinion but I really do think too much is put into the “mental health” bracket these days. I think there’s a danger of it sometimes taking it away from the importance of real diagnosed mental health problems. I know not all are diagnosed and believe me I know about mental health issues as I have an autistic child so I’m not undermining anything but I do feel this way. "
I agree with you totally, there are some that use the terms to their advantage, I also have a daughter who will be 17 this year and was diagnosed with Aspergers at the age of 6, we all have mental health the same as we all have physical health, its just we are far more comfortable talking about the physical than the mental. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"It may not be a popular opinion but I really do think too much is put into the “mental health” bracket these days. I think there’s a danger of it sometimes taking it away from the importance of real diagnosed mental health problems. I know not all are diagnosed and believe me I know about mental health issues as I have an autistic child so I’m not undermining anything but I do feel this way.
An ingrown toenail and cancer are both health problems, just wholly different magnitudes. Same applies to mental health (though I do think some over emphasise the severity of relatively moderate problems).
Yes if you look at it like that I guess it makes sense. I never comment on these threads, purposely, but seeing the body image thing I decided to. I have low self esteem sometimes and body issues but I’ve never thought oh I have a mental health issue because of it. "
That is the thing Nora, I am not saying you or anyone else has a "mental health issue" but the body image feelings we all have be they negative or positive are in the mind and therefore part of our mental health. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I think having low self esteem and body image can exacerbate and be exacerbated by difficult mental health, but I dont think they are indicative of a mental health issue as such.
I have all of the above. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It may not be a popular opinion but I really do think too much is put into the “mental health” bracket these days. I think there’s a danger of it sometimes taking it away from the importance of real diagnosed mental health problems. I know not all are diagnosed and believe me I know about mental health issues as I have an autistic child so I’m not undermining anything but I do feel this way.
An ingrown toenail and cancer are both health problems, just wholly different magnitudes. Same applies to mental health (though I do think some over emphasise the severity of relatively moderate problems).
Yes if you look at it like that I guess it makes sense. I never comment on these threads, purposely, but seeing the body image thing I decided to. I have low self esteem sometimes and body issues but I’ve never thought oh I have a mental health issue because of it.
That is the thing Nora, I am not saying you or anyone else has a "mental health issue" but the body image feelings we all have be they negative or positive are in the mind and therefore part of our mental health. "
Yeah I suppose. See I don’t see it like that. Perhaps this is why I never join on these threads  . Perhaps I should stick to that in future  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"It may not be a popular opinion but I really do think too much is put into the “mental health” bracket these days. I think there’s a danger of it sometimes taking it away from the importance of real diagnosed mental health problems. I know not all are diagnosed and believe me I know about mental health issues as I have an autistic child so I’m not undermining anything but I do feel this way.
An ingrown toenail and cancer are both health problems, just wholly different magnitudes. Same applies to mental health (though I do think some over emphasise the severity of relatively moderate problems).
Yes if you look at it like that I guess it makes sense. I never comment on these threads, purposely, but seeing the body image thing I decided to. I have low self esteem sometimes and body issues but I’ve never thought oh I have a mental health issue because of it.
That is the thing Nora, I am not saying you or anyone else has a "mental health issue" but the body image feelings we all have be they negative or positive are in the mind and therefore part of our mental health.
Yeah I suppose. See I don’t see it like that. Perhaps this is why I never join on these threads . Perhaps I should stick to that in future "
But without different input it stays the same lol, you always add to threads you join in on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've been very fortunate to have been gifted a pretty good physique and a blatant disregard of other people's opinions of me 
Bad Bitch on the other hand has very low body confidence despite being hot as fuck. She gained huge confidence when three guys came and lavished her with alot of attention but it's always a work in progress |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I've struggled since age 13 with low self esteem and I have zero body confidence. It holds me back in many aspects of life, even now at 43. I'm not sure how to change it, so much contradictory shit is thrown at us... "lose weight, be fit, be healthy, get active" on one side... "love yourself the way you are, you are perfect, size gorgeous, embrace your body".... on the other side.... it's so overwhelming and absolutely takes a toll on Mental health.
And to be honest it has driven me into my shell so much that I regularly use the phrase: I'm allergic to men" ???? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *bi HaiveMan
over a year ago
Forum Mod Cheeseville, Somerset |
"It may not be a popular opinion but I really do think too much is put into the “mental health” bracket these days. I think there’s a danger of it sometimes taking it away from the importance of real diagnosed mental health problems. I know not all are diagnosed and believe me I know about mental health issues as I have an autistic child so I’m not undermining anything but I do feel this way.
An ingrown toenail and cancer are both health problems, just wholly different magnitudes. Same applies to mental health (though I do think some over emphasise the severity of relatively moderate problems).
Yes if you look at it like that I guess it makes sense. I never comment on these threads, purposely, but seeing the body image thing I decided to. I have low self esteem sometimes and body issues but I’ve never thought oh I have a mental health issue because of it. "
Some will have low self esteem due to body image and that's how it will reflect - just as low self esteem.
Others will start out that way and dependant on the reactions and interventions of others - family, friends and peers - it can evolve into either a positive outcome of increased confidence and self worth or the polar opposite of eating disorders, self harm and depression/anxiety.
Like sexuality mental health is a massive sliding scale, fluid and dependant on both personal feelings and external influences.
So impossible to categorise views on body image or say what should/shouldn't be classed as a mental health issue and whilst not ideal, probably the best approach to take. It's as dangerous to say someone is overplaying a concern as it is to label them in the first place.
I'd hate to have that task.
A |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Always struggled with confidence my generations the worst for it they all seem to prefer looks over personality  "
I watched Naked Education last night. At first I thought I wouldn't like it but I found bit an interesting concept and educational. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Always struggled with confidence my generations the worst for it they all seem to prefer looks over personality
I watched Naked Education last night. At first I thought I wouldn't like it but I found bit an interesting concept and educational. "
That’s the only thing though my generation everything has to be perfect muscles tattoos the lot they forget we all drop an inch as we get older.
I’ve always found humour and intelligence being the things I’m most attracted too.
Born 20 years too late I think? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It may not be a popular opinion but I really do think too much is put into the “mental health” bracket these days. I think there’s a danger of it sometimes taking it away from the importance of real diagnosed mental health problems. I know not all are diagnosed and believe me I know about mental health issues as I have an autistic child so I’m not undermining anything but I do feel this way.
An ingrown toenail and cancer are both health problems, just wholly different magnitudes. Same applies to mental health (though I do think some over emphasise the severity of relatively moderate problems).
Yes if you look at it like that I guess it makes sense. I never comment on these threads, purposely, but seeing the body image thing I decided to. I have low self esteem sometimes and body issues but I’ve never thought oh I have a mental health issue because of it.
Some will have low self esteem due to body image and that's how it will reflect - just as low self esteem.
Others will start out that way and dependant on the reactions and interventions of others - family, friends and peers - it can evolve into either a positive outcome of increased confidence and self worth or the polar opposite of eating disorders, self harm and depression/anxiety.
Like sexuality mental health is a massive sliding scale, fluid and dependant on both personal feelings and external influences.
So impossible to categorise views on body image or say what should/shouldn't be classed as a mental health issue and whilst not ideal, probably the best approach to take. It's as dangerous to say someone is overplaying a concern as it is to label them in the first place.
I'd hate to have that task.
A"
I know that and we’re all different. I don’t expect people to agree with me. Doesn’t change how I feel about it all though. I think it’s too easy to put things down to mental health issues and I don’t particularly thing it’s a good thing either. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I think we are conditioned to have negative thoughts about our body.
We are always told to love ourselves and when they do they get shit for it. Two posters I can think of carrack and Annie Wilkes when she was her. Both very confident in their looks and bodies but got all kinds of shit from people |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Good morning all you glorious lounge lizards.
Who has or still does suffer from the above?
As many are aware I post a lot about mental health issues, and some know that I write a blog on this as well, I have done a post today on Low self-esteem and body image, it has self-help ideas as well as links to groups and organisations that support mental health.
I can not post the link here so if anyone would like a read drop me a DM and I will send you the link.
Have a great hump day love from me
"
It’s an excellent blog darling |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It may not be a popular opinion but I really do think too much is put into the “mental health” bracket these days. I think there’s a danger of it sometimes taking it away from the importance of real diagnosed mental health problems. I know not all are diagnosed and believe me I know about mental health issues as I have an autistic child so I’m not undermining anything but I do feel this way. "
I totally agree, I see it every day in work where people claim mental health issues either to justify their behaviour or to try and get preferential treatment or something else.
I find they takes time and resources away from helping someone who is indeed suffering from a mental health crisis. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Always struggled with confidence my generations the worst for it they all seem to prefer looks over personality
I watched Naked Education last night. At first I thought I wouldn't like it but I found bit an interesting concept and educational.
That’s the only thing though my generation everything has to be perfect muscles tattoos the lot they forget we all drop an inch as we get older.
I’ve always found humour and intelligence being the things I’m most attracted too.
Born 20 years too late I think?"
This show seemed to be aimed at your generation and younger. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oofy321Man
over a year ago
moon base zero |
Hate my body and face,don’t like my picture taken,and in the past I have cut my stomach and chest
Feel uncomfortable wearing t shirts in public...dont think its a mental health issue...just fat x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
I would love to read your blog if you could send me the link please.
Low self esteem and body image have been my constant companions along with comparison since a young age and I'm not entirely sure why.
I'm not sure I would class myself as having metal health concerns, just really old habits that I seem to struggle to break properly 
One day though  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hate my body and face,don’t like my picture taken,and in the past I have cut my stomach and chest
Feel uncomfortable wearing t shirts in public...dont think its a mental health issue...just fat x"
See if you’ve cut yourself due to how you feel about yourself I do see that as a mental health issue. I don’t remember your body but for the record I think you have a lovely face. And you know I don’t bullshit x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"Guess I'll ask the question
People saying no confidence in body but can show it in pictures on here..how?
No criticism, just would like to know"
My body images are posed, lit and edited in a way that hides the majority of my issues, helps that I am pretty good with a camera |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"I think we are conditioned to have negative thoughts about our body.
We are always told to love ourselves and when they do they get shit for it. Two posters I can think of carrack and Annie Wilkes when she was her. Both very confident in their looks and bodies but got all kinds of shit from people"
I would send you the link to the post, but it seems we have gone from being friends to being blocked |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Always struggled with confidence my generations the worst for it they all seem to prefer looks over personality
I watched Naked Education last night. At first I thought I wouldn't like it but I found bit an interesting concept and educational.
That’s the only thing though my generation everything has to be perfect muscles tattoos the lot they forget we all drop an inch as we get older.
I’ve always found humour and intelligence being the things I’m most attracted too.
Born 20 years too late I think?
This show seemed to be aimed at your generation and younger."
Just remember TV is made to entertain you most things are fake scripted or they’re paid |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"Good morning all you glorious lounge lizards.
Who has or still does suffer from the above?
As many are aware I post a lot about mental health issues, and some know that I write a blog on this as well, I have done a post today on Low self-esteem and body image, it has self-help ideas as well as links to groups and organisations that support mental health.
I can not post the link here so if anyone would like a read drop me a DM and I will send you the link.
Have a great hump day love from me
It’s an excellent blog darling "
Thank you LB x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oofy321Man
over a year ago
moon base zero |
"Guess I'll ask the question
People saying no confidence in body but can show it in pictures on here..how?
No criticism, just would like to know
My body images are posed, lit and edited in a way that hides the majority of my issues, helps that I am pretty good with a camera"
So only parts of your body you struggle with? I still think using lights and angles is still having some confidence |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *j20Man
over a year ago
cheltenham |
"I would love to read your blog if you could send me the link please.
Low self esteem and body image have been my constant companions along with comparison since a young age and I'm not entirely sure why.
I'm not sure I would class myself as having metal health concerns, just really old habits that I seem to struggle to break properly
One day though "
it sounds like your brain has been wired to think like this constantly luckily you can retrain your brain to think differently it just takes time and patience madam |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I’m not very body confident but I don’t think it’s a mental health thing. I think that’s quite normal. how bad do you suffer with low self esteem if you dont mind me asking"
I don’t really want to discuss myself personally on here. I’m just talking generally. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Do you write a blog, OP? You should mention it more!
I don't have low self esteem, but I equally do not have high body confidence so I don't think the two necessarily go hand in hand (though I guess they often do).
I think most people will suffer with low (or lower) body confidence at some point - when you just feel a bit more 'meh'. But I also know it's often irrational and we worry about stuff that others don't even notice, so we are often our own worst enemy... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Guess I'll ask the question
People saying no confidence in body but can show it in pictures on here..how?
No criticism, just would like to know"
Its easy to make a picture look OK. Knowing your angles, what bits to hide and which bits to show, add in a filter. For every one photo I share there's 50 deleted.
I'm not body confident at all, infact I hate nearly every bit of me. That said I refuse to let it hold me back any longer. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"Do you write a blog, OP? You should mention it more!
I don't have low self esteem, but I equally do not have high body confidence so I don't think the two necessarily go hand in hand (though I guess they often do).
I think most people will suffer with low (or lower) body confidence at some point - when you just feel a bit more 'meh'. But I also know it's often irrational and we worry about stuff that others don't even notice, so we are often our own worst enemy..."
It is generally the self beliefs and internal thoughts |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I struggle with body confidence, now I always get knocked down apparently slim women aren't allowed to have body confidence issues these days
But anyway since having my second child the tiger strips and wobbly bits feel somewhat alien and is definitely taking some getting used to, looking in the mirror especially in a sexy sense or outfit it's difficult to feel sexy when what's looking back at you isn't you, it's different, I'm slowly getting better with it and the Mr definitely is enjoying some more curves and the boobs, but I do struggle at times.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Guess I'll ask the question
People saying no confidence in body but can show it in pictures on here..how?
No criticism, just would like to know
Its easy to make a picture look OK. Knowing your angles, what bits to hide and which bits to show, add in a filter. For every one photo I share there's 50 deleted.
I'm not body confident at all, infact I hate nearly every bit of me. That said I refuse to let it hold me back any longer. "
Totally agree with this too, for every photo I take I delete tons, I'll only have pics with the Mr because he's hot and makes me feel sexy most my favourite photos are in the moment feeling sexy with him and not having to look at myself and feel it so to speak.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *j20Man
over a year ago
cheltenham |
"Also I think lots of us are good at faking confidence "
true madam a lot of people do like to pretend they are confident and like to act brave but nobody really knows what goes through your head my policy is to be honest and open about things that way you never feel like need to be something your not and if your around the right people they will help your confidence instead of trying to pretend
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oofy321Man
over a year ago
moon base zero |
"Hate my body and face,don’t like my picture taken,and in the past I have cut my stomach and chest
Feel uncomfortable wearing t shirts in public...dont think its a mental health issue...just fat x
See if you’ve cut yourself due to how you feel about yourself I do see that as a mental health issue. I don’t remember your body but for the record I think you have a lovely face. And you know I don’t bullshit x"
Thank you Nora,I know your one of the few on here who doesn't bullshit lol x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have always struggled with my body image and low confidence levels. They have got better now I am with my man but I have always had issues with it. I don't see what he does when he looks at me.
My lady |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *j20Man
over a year ago
cheltenham |
"I struggle with body confidence, now I always get knocked down apparently slim women aren't allowed to have body confidence issues these days
But anyway since having my second child the tiger strips and wobbly bits feel somewhat alien and is definitely taking some getting used to, looking in the mirror especially in a sexy sense or outfit it's difficult to feel sexy when what's looking back at you isn't you, it's different, I'm slowly getting better with it and the Mr definitely is enjoying some more curves and the boobs, but I do struggle at times.
Mrs "
sorry to hear that you ever want to chat I’m here madam I want you to know that your not alone and even celebs don’t like there bodies at least you are getting better and you will Get there madam it just takes time |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Got a lot of experience with body dysmorphia. I've seen an emaciated young woman pin herself against a wall to let people by, because she believed she filled the corridor. Also another cut through her flesh with glass to see how much fat was there.
I have things I sometimes feel I should work on but that's mostly just because I'm a bit lazy. I know where that internal conversation goes, lazy will win 9/10.
Do I think I am attractive no not really. But I am who I am and I am lucky enough to be able to accept that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I’m aware that on here I’m lucky to a woman who’s into men. If I had my equivalent body as a man who was into women I wouldn’t get looked at twice. Is that low self esteem or simply a realistic appraisal? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hate my body and face,don’t like my picture taken,and in the past I have cut my stomach and chest
Feel uncomfortable wearing t shirts in public...dont think its a mental health issue...just fat x"
Sorry to hear you feel this way, SH is a mental health issue though and I would suggest having a word with your GP about it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oofy321Man
over a year ago
moon base zero |
"Hate my body and face,don’t like my picture taken,and in the past I have cut my stomach and chest
Feel uncomfortable wearing t shirts in public...dont think its a mental health issue...just fat x
Sorry to hear you feel this way, SH is a mental health issue though and I would suggest having a word with your GP about it."
Oh it was about 15 years ago, I know this might sound crass but I look back at it and laugh because it was a silly thing to do..laughing at it keeps it from resurfacing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"It may not be a popular opinion but I really do think too much is put into the “mental health” bracket these days. I think there’s a danger of it sometimes taking it away from the importance of real diagnosed mental health problems. I know not all are diagnosed and believe me I know about mental health issues as I have an autistic child so I’m not undermining anything but I do feel this way. "
I’ve had to deal with people with real serious issues and I think the danger is they get lumped in with people with all kinds of other issues, especially since COVID.
I think it’s important to distinguish between mental well-being , which is important for all of us, and needs good habits, friendship networks, healthy eating , exercise, mindfulness etc and mental illness which typically requires medication and/or professional therapy prescribed by a physician |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I suffer from negative body image, low self esteem and confidence issues. I've suffered with my mental health all my life. But I also have 'fuck the world, this is me' syndrome, and am an advocate of 'fuck it and fake it'. So you get both extremes, often at the same time.
I hate the way my body looks and feels. I hate being in pain. I've crash dieted, yo-yo dieted and make myself ill trying to fit a mould that wasn't made for me. I've had days where I literally just don't want to exist.
I constantly wonder what people actually see and think about me. I've torn myself apart worrying about being me, and that I wasn't good enough. I've hated myself for being me.
But yet, I have rode naked through London, done burlesque, walked on stage in front of 1000 people with 5mins notice and opened a fetish event, literally 'winging it', run events and talks about body positivity, walked on fire and 100s of other fun escapades.
Over the years, I've come to realise and slowly accept, that this is me. This is the way I am. It's not going to change. And I'm now at the age where I've grown into the grumpy old bitch I've been for years.
Doesn't matter who / what you are. Just be a first rate version of yourself and not a poor copy of someone else. Those that love you will love you regardless. Those that don't won't and nothing will change that.
Ps. Everyone is winging it. Some people don't admit it. Some don't realise. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I actually suffer for this massively like I always consider my self a 2 on a hotness scale and when I'm complimented or people say I'm hot I always say I aint hot tho and say that channing tatum is hot me am just meh |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"It may not be a popular opinion but I really do think too much is put into the “mental health” bracket these days. I think there’s a danger of it sometimes taking it away from the importance of real diagnosed mental health problems. I know not all are diagnosed and believe me I know about mental health issues as I have an autistic child so I’m not undermining anything but I do feel this way.
I’ve had to deal with people with real serious issues and I think the danger is they get lumped in with people with all kinds of other issues, especially since COVID.
I think it’s important to distinguish between mental well-being , which is important for all of us, and needs good habits, friendship networks, healthy eating , exercise, mindfulness etc and mental illness which typically requires medication and/or professional therapy prescribed by a physician"
Yes! You’ve hit the nail on the head for me. Mental well-being and mental illness. Two totally different things which I believe often get confused. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *j20Man
over a year ago
cheltenham |
"I suffer from negative body image, low self esteem and confidence issues. I've suffered with my mental health all my life. But I also have 'fuck the world, this is me' syndrome, and am an advocate of 'fuck it and fake it'. So you get both extremes, often at the same time.
I hate the way my body looks and feels. I hate being in pain. I've crash dieted, yo-yo dieted and make myself ill trying to fit a mould that wasn't made for me. I've had days where I literally just don't want to exist.
I constantly wonder what people actually see and think about me. I've torn myself apart worrying about being me, and that I wasn't good enough. I've hated myself for being me.
But yet, I have rode naked through London, done burlesque, walked on stage in front of 1000 people with 5mins notice and opened a fetish event, literally 'winging it', run events and talks about body positivity, walked on fire and 100s of other fun escapades.
Over the years, I've come to realise and slowly accept, that this is me. This is the way I am. It's not going to change. And I'm now at the age where I've grown into the grumpy old bitch I've been for years.
Doesn't matter who / what you are. Just be a first rate version of yourself and not a poor copy of someone else. Those that love you will love you regardless. Those that don't won't and nothing will change that.
Ps. Everyone is winging it. Some people don't admit it. Some don't realise."
sorry to hear that it isn’t easy dealing with mental health you ever want to chat your welcome to message me I have had my fair share of mental health problems and i can say those dark days has disappeared |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Hate my body and face,don’t like my picture taken,and in the past I have cut my stomach and chest
Feel uncomfortable wearing t shirts in public...dont think its a mental health issue...just fat x
Sorry to hear you feel this way, SH is a mental health issue though and I would suggest having a word with your GP about it.
Oh it was about 15 years ago, I know this might sound crass but I look back at it and laugh because it was a silly thing to do..laughing at it keeps it from resurfacing "
I'm glad that you are ok now and that its behind you though SH is a lot more prevalent in teens than anyone could imagine these days, unfortunately some take it further and that's so tragic.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
What I do find is there are some people who complain about not liking their body but then don’t do anything to try to rectify the bits they could improve on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"What I do find is there are some people who complain about not liking their body but then don’t do anything to try to rectify the bits they could improve on. "
I really really really want a six pack but I just ate a huge piece of mango and lime cheesecake. Reality - clearly I want the cheesecake more than the six pack - and I’m okay with that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *edfleetMan
over a year ago
covent garden |
This thread may me think about my self confidence. Never really cared how others view me or their thoughts about me.
Generally confident in life and at times probably over confident/ arrogant and maybe this is me working to hide the “real” me and the battles I’ve had to fight.
Going to give this more thought |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
"Also I think lots of us are good at faking confidence "
This is me - fake it until you make it! For every photo I upload there is probably 20 or 30 that horrify me and I delete. I also only ever take photos and upload when I'm feeling particularly good, these still often all end in the bin. Every now and then I think - that's an ok pic I'll upload that. I would also say that I detach myself from the photos - to me my face isn't there and so I can appreciate the photo more. If my face was on I'd probably hate it.
If that makes any sense or I'm just rambling  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Also I think lots of us are good at faking confidence
This is me - fake it until you make it! For every photo I upload there is probably 20 or 30 that horrify me and I delete. I also only ever take photos and upload when I'm feeling particularly good, these still often all end in the bin. Every now and then I think - that's an ok pic I'll upload that. I would also say that I detach myself from the photos - to me my face isn't there and so I can appreciate the photo more. If my face was on I'd probably hate it.
If that makes any sense or I'm just rambling "
This makes perfect sense & is totally me this is why I love our pics, my face isn't in them it's not me (I know it is but still) I'll still delete 100's
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
What I do find is that there are some people who make sweeping judgements about what others do or don't do to change themselves.
Perhaps if these people aren't aware of every detail of the unhappy person's health and life they shouldn't judge. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
Reading all the responses here I have started writing a post about Cultivating Self-Acceptance and Self-Love, in general I am of the not give a fuck what others think, if it is out of my circle of control it goes in the fuckit bucket though the bucket is more a small town landfill site. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"What I do find is that there are some people who make sweeping judgements about what others do or don't do to change themselves.
Perhaps if these people aren't aware of every detail of the unhappy person's health and life they shouldn't judge."
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What I do find is there are some people who complain about not liking their body but then don’t do anything to try to rectify the bits they could improve on.
I really really really want a six pack but I just ate a huge piece of mango and lime cheesecake. Reality - clearly I want the cheesecake more than the six pack - and I’m okay with that. "
This!
I could diet. I could spend hours in the gym but in reality,loosing weight would only shift my focus on to something else I feel insecure about. Plus I like cake and choose sleep over the gym.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
"Also I think lots of us are good at faking confidence
This is me - fake it until you make it! For every photo I upload there is probably 20 or 30 that horrify me and I delete. I also only ever take photos and upload when I'm feeling particularly good, these still often all end in the bin. Every now and then I think - that's an ok pic I'll upload that. I would also say that I detach myself from the photos - to me my face isn't there and so I can appreciate the photo more. If my face was on I'd probably hate it.
If that makes any sense or I'm just rambling
This makes perfect sense & is totally me this is why I love our pics, my face isn't in them it's not me (I know it is but still) I'll still delete 100's
Mrs "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
"What I do find is that there are some people who make sweeping judgements about what others do or don't do to change themselves.
Perhaps if these people aren't aware of every detail of the unhappy person's health and life they shouldn't judge."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rincipessaWoman
over a year ago
your wildest dreams, |
I think my self esteem is not bad. I know I’m a good person, I know my worth
But
Body confidence is something different all together and it’s kinda like a vicious circle. I take pics to show me as I would like to be seen. Then people like them, tell me they look good and I feel bad. Bad that I’m fooling people because they’re not seeing the bits I hate.
I have posted the occasional pic and video lately that shows more of what I think is the real me. I’ve someone encouraging me to love myself, not “accept” but actually love myself and it’s working.
Still thinking of liposuction though |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Also I think lots of us are good at faking confidence
This is me - fake it until you make it! For every photo I upload there is probably 20 or 30 that horrify me and I delete. I also only ever take photos and upload when I'm feeling particularly good, these still often all end in the bin. Every now and then I think - that's an ok pic I'll upload that. I would also say that I detach myself from the photos - to me my face isn't there and so I can appreciate the photo more. If my face was on I'd probably hate it.
If that makes any sense or I'm just rambling "
Totally agree. I'm the same. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"What I do find is that there are some people who make sweeping judgements about what others do or don't do to change themselves.
Perhaps if these people aren't aware of every detail of the unhappy person's health and life they shouldn't judge."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What I do find is there are some people who complain about not liking their body but then don’t do anything to try to rectify the bits they could improve on.
I really really really want a six pack but I just ate a huge piece of mango and lime cheesecake. Reality - clearly I want the cheesecake more than the six pack - and I’m okay with that. "
Yeah this is me. I’m overweight - it’s affected my confidence quite badly - I eat shit and haven’t been to the gym in ages - my fault.
I know it’s not the same for everyone and not everyone can do something about it etc. but I accept my issues are my own doing and I can do something about it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think my self esteem is not bad. I know I’m a good person, I know my worth
But
Body confidence is something different all together and it’s kinda like a vicious circle. I take pics to show me as I would like to be seen. Then people like them, tell me they look good and I feel bad. Bad that I’m fooling people because they’re not seeing the bits I hate.
I have posted the occasional pic and video lately that shows more of what I think is the real me. I’ve someone encouraging me to love myself, not “accept” but actually love myself and it’s working.
Still thinking of liposuction though "
I get this. I really worry that when I meet people they are so disappointed in the reality.
No one has run a mile yet but its always at the back of my mind.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I thought I was eating healthy when having fruit smoothies,turns out they are full of sugar,that's ok before I go swimming,but if your not burning the sugar it's not good |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
I also think that people often forget that it isn't just people who see themselves as overweight, fat, etc who have body issues.
I know people who are at the absolute opposite end of the scale to me who wish they could put on weight. Who feel judged by the words "skinny", "skeletal" and are often told they should eat more.
A hell of a lot fewer people would feel like crap about themselves if others would stop judging them.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rincipessaWoman
over a year ago
your wildest dreams, |
"I also think that people often forget that it isn't just people who see themselves as overweight, fat, etc who have body issues.
I know people who are at the absolute opposite end of the scale to me who wish they could put on weight. Who feel judged by the words "skinny", "skeletal" and are often told they should eat more.
A hell of a lot fewer people would feel like crap about themselves if others would stop judging them.
"
This is very true. I have a daughter who can’t always manage to fit into size 4 clothes. Some places, they just fall off her, and a lot of others don’t even start at a 4.
She has had so many tests, eats non stop to try to maintain weight nevermind putting it on. We go shopping together and she Ens up crying because she can’t get clothes to fit.
Has been called so many names and even had teachers at school called her anorexic |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It may not be a popular opinion but I really do think too much is put into the “mental health” bracket these days. I think there’s a danger of it sometimes taking it away from the importance of real diagnosed mental health problems. I know not all are diagnosed and believe me I know about mental health issues as I have an autistic child so I’m not undermining anything but I do feel this way.
An ingrown toenail and cancer are both health problems, just wholly different magnitudes. Same applies to mental health (though I do think some over emphasise the severity of relatively moderate problems).
Yes if you look at it like that I guess it makes sense. I never comment on these threads, purposely, but seeing the body image thing I decided to. I have low self esteem sometimes and body issues but I’ve never thought oh I have a mental health issue because of it.
That is the thing Nora, I am not saying you or anyone else has a "mental health issue" but the body image feelings we all have be they negative or positive are in the mind and therefore part of our mental health. "
I get this, I'm currently having negative thoughts about my body/image. Though I know it's in my mind. I'm in my best physical health that I have been in years though and feel good. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I also think that people often forget that it isn't just people who see themselves as overweight, fat, etc who have body issues.
I know people who are at the absolute opposite end of the scale to me who wish they could put on weight. Who feel judged by the words "skinny", "skeletal" and are often told they should eat more.
A hell of a lot fewer people would feel like crap about themselves if others would stop judging them.
This is very true. I have a daughter who can’t always manage to fit into size 4 clothes. Some places, they just fall off her, and a lot of others don’t even start at a 4.
She has had so many tests, eats non stop to try to maintain weight nevermind putting it on. We go shopping together and she Ens up crying because she can’t get clothes to fit.
Has been called so many names and even had teachers at school called her anorexic "
Appalling to speak to a child that way, I hope you reported them. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *otSoPoshWoman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I also think that people often forget that it isn't just people who see themselves as overweight, fat, etc who have body issues.
I know people who are at the absolute opposite end of the scale to me who wish they could put on weight. Who feel judged by the words "skinny", "skeletal" and are often told they should eat more.
A hell of a lot fewer people would feel like crap about themselves if others would stop judging them.
This is very true. I have a daughter who can’t always manage to fit into size 4 clothes. Some places, they just fall off her, and a lot of others don’t even start at a 4.
She has had so many tests, eats non stop to try to maintain weight nevermind putting it on. We go shopping together and she Ens up crying because she can’t get clothes to fit.
Has been called so many names and even had teachers at school called her anorexic "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rincipessaWoman
over a year ago
your wildest dreams, |
"I also think that people often forget that it isn't just people who see themselves as overweight, fat, etc who have body issues.
I know people who are at the absolute opposite end of the scale to me who wish they could put on weight. Who feel judged by the words "skinny", "skeletal" and are often told they should eat more.
A hell of a lot fewer people would feel like crap about themselves if others would stop judging them.
This is very true. I have a daughter who can’t always manage to fit into size 4 clothes. Some places, they just fall off her, and a lot of others don’t even start at a 4.
She has had so many tests, eats non stop to try to maintain weight nevermind putting it on. We go shopping together and she Ens up crying because she can’t get clothes to fit.
Has been called so many names and even had teachers at school called her anorexic
Appalling to speak to a child that way, I hope you reported them. "
I most certainly did |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I also think that people often forget that it isn't just people who see themselves as overweight, fat, etc who have body issues.
I know people who are at the absolute opposite end of the scale to me who wish they could put on weight. Who feel judged by the words "skinny", "skeletal" and are often told they should eat more.
A hell of a lot fewer people would feel like crap about themselves if others would stop judging them.
This is very true. I have a daughter who can’t always manage to fit into size 4 clothes. Some places, they just fall off her, and a lot of others don’t even start at a 4.
She has had so many tests, eats non stop to try to maintain weight nevermind putting it on. We go shopping together and she Ens up crying because she can’t get clothes to fit.
Has been called so many names and even had teachers at school called her anorexic
Appalling to speak to a child that way, I hope you reported them.
I most certainly did"
Good on you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *agnar73Man
over a year ago
glasgow-ish |
I find it difficult to find anything about myself. Sometimes posting photographs and seeing comments from others help, although I struggle to believe as I’m that much against myself
It’s an internalised self-hate and i know it’s not rational or what others might think, but it’s very hard to shake and think I’m ‘good enough’  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes & no,use to be about 16ish stone (worked out alot,had a barrel belly ) in my mid 20's.
Lost around 3 stone in about a month,then nearly another 2 stone over about 6 weeks.Pretty much made my stomach/moobs drop/sag a bit. Bad case of over active thyroid/stress induced.
38 now & fat now (c0vid binging & stopping weights) But I don't like taking my top of still,even though has I know the person can see I am big
 |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It may not be a popular opinion but I really do think too much is put into the “mental health” bracket these days. I think there’s a danger of it sometimes taking it away from the importance of real diagnosed mental health problems. I know not all are diagnosed and believe me I know about mental health issues as I have an autistic child so I’m not undermining anything but I do feel this way. "
I agree with what you're saying. Same with anxiety, a lot of general anxiety is very normal that we all suffer with. It's just when something is taking over your life and wellbeing is when it becomes a mental health diagnosis.
In terms of low self esteem, it is connected to our confidence and mood so it can have a knock on effect of how we feel about ourselves which ultimately does effect our mental health and happiness.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I also think that people often forget that it isn't just people who see themselves as overweight, fat, etc who have body issues.
I know people who are at the absolute opposite end of the scale to me who wish they could put on weight. Who feel judged by the words "skinny", "skeletal" and are often told they should eat more.
A hell of a lot fewer people would feel like crap about themselves if others would stop judging them.
"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *929Man
over a year ago
newcastle |
"I think most of us have doubts and have issues with our bodies I know myself and hubby both have body dysmorphia. Often lack self confidence to xx"
Body dysmorphia is a right twat of a thing especially when it disappears briefly and think look a half decent size usually during a good training session in the magic gym mirrors then it kicks back in and think look small/skinny again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it goes up and down. I know my body is perfectly fine I still have days where I look at myself and see places I could put more muscle or lose a bit of fat. I really struggled when I first joined Fab as I'd never taken photos of my body before and thought I was too slim to be manly. Luckily though, it's happened a lot less recently |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m on and off with my bod. I know it looks okay and gets me around daily. But it’s rare I want to share it or show it to someone.
I have good self esteem, actually really good self confidence. But, lately, not with my looks or body shape/size etc. it’s an odd one.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I spent years weighing 7st 3 and being a size 6.
The amount of grief I got for that was unbelievable. More often than not at medical appointments. I could tell you one story in particular where I actually lost my temper and was quite blunt when I complained about her for the whole clinic to hear. I'd get asked about my eating habits, asked if I had eating disorders, if I was bulimic, anorexic, how many times I made myself sick regulary.
Yet I ate whatever the hell I wanted to whenever I felt like it. Never had an eating disorder etc. It got so bad that I had a phase where I refused to go the bathroom after eating just so people would know I wasn't anorexic.
And as much as I hate to say this, women I worked with in various jobs that were older and bigger than me gave me a lot of grief. It made me quite distant from them. The classic line was. 'I only have to look at a mars bar and I gain weight and I bet you don't'. Quite often made to feel bad for not being heavier.
And this might be unpopular but so many women dream of being slim and tiny but it's really not as great as you think at all. And men will see the body and not see you. That in itself is quite horrible.
I'm 8st now and a size 8. With fat bits here and there, I can feel a wobble in places I never did before. But I can be just as insecure as any other woman. I don't have the figure I did. I'm seeing the changes as I age. And sometimes I can hate what I see that's different.
My photos on my profile, the act of taking them actually helps me learn to like what's in the mirror and note the good an bad and accept it and what's changed without seeing another body to compare to. It's just me, as I am. It's actually a good thing to do them for me regardless of what happens after I've taken them or posted on here.
I think everyone knows I had breast enhancements. That was because when I got dressed, being as slim as I was I just saw a flat chest that did not speak woman and if not leave the house because of it some days. That was my biggest body issue. Breast enhancements and I don't think twice about it. I rareky wore anything to show them off either. I just liked the fact I had bumps under my clothes and looked like a woman. And that was quite simply enough for me.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *4bimMan
over a year ago
Farnborough Hampshire |
Social media has a lot to do with how people feel about themselves.
The pressure to look a certain way or you feel like you don't fit in. This is a real problem because we see beautiful people advertised in the places we go and online.
Not tall enough, not muscular enough, loosing your hair etc the list goes on.
Women find it harder as they get older,enhance themselves surgically and various other treatments to defy the aging process.
Look how in just a few years all these protein products and male testosterone supplements have appeared. All because you are sold on an ad with a bodybuilder on it and that implies this is the way to look.
Be yourself first. Worry not about control, chances are you can't do anything about it but upset yourself in the process.
People will love you for being you. Artificial has never been good for anyone
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"What I do find is there are some people who complain about not liking their body but then don’t do anything to try to rectify the bits they could improve on. "
I see this, but don't think it's quite that black and white. You could have the "perfect" body and still not be confident about/with it. But I get your point; if, for example, you are conscious about your weight, there are practical steps you can take to change it. I guess it's where the mental meets the physical. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Most of days.
But not everyone knows exactly what includes “low self esteem “ and what comes with it.
Half of people don’t know how to dress appropriately to their body structure and there shows insecurities. Negative mind about what other people think increase this negative image in our mind what “I need to look like to be approachable “These days people desperately try to fit in, when they shouldn’t.
Each of their own.
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Most of days.
But not everyone knows exactly what includes “low self esteem “ and what comes with it.
Half of people don’t know how to dress appropriately to their body structure and there shows insecurities. Negative mind about what other people think increase this negative image in our mind what “I need to look like to be approachable “These days people desperately try to fit in, when they shouldn’t.
Each of their own.
Mrs"
Little add
It’s not people’s fault, it’s the society what makes it toxic and negative image about why we need to ashamed of our body,body hair, outdoor scent and lot more..
this is what we teach our next generation.. which is really depressing..
Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *rtyIan OP Man
over a year ago
Gateway to the Beacons |
"Most of days.
But not everyone knows exactly what includes “low self esteem “ and what comes with it.
Half of people don’t know how to dress appropriately to their body structure and there shows insecurities. Negative mind about what other people think increase this negative image in our mind what “I need to look like to be approachable “These days people desperately try to fit in, when they shouldn’t.
Each of their own.
Mrs
Little add
It’s not people’s fault, it’s the society what makes it toxic and negative image about why we need to ashamed of our body,body hair, outdoor scent and lot more..
this is what we teach our next generation.. which is really depressing..
Mrs "
I include a part about social media and the effect it has in my blog post |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oanne ETV/TS
over a year ago
Near Warrington |
I suffered quite badly with low self esteem post divorce (8 years ago) and always have been body conscious in male mode.
However since Joanne appeared my confidence has grown and I'm really comfortable with myself now. And I have some lovely admirers (well they want to shag me lol).
Like everybody I do have good and bad days but that's partly my choice as I live alone. Overall though I'm in a good place, however I do wish I had longer legs.
Talking is good, get it out there, it makes things better xxx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
