FabSwingers.com > Forums > The Lounge > For those women who don't get hundreds of messages a day...
For those women who don't get hundreds of messages a day...
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
...like me.
Do you actually read and reply to all the ones you do get? Or do you, like me, just avoid the inbox unless you're expecting a message from someone or playing a forum game? (Or other reasons) |
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"...like me.
Do you actually read and reply to all the ones you do get? Or do you, like me, just avoid the inbox unless you're expecting a message from someone or playing a forum game? (Or other reasons)"
Over the last few days I have. I am no longer sent into panic by the yellow. Mainly because I get more messages from lovely forum friends than slide into DM types. 
J |
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I usually send a polite message back to anyone local and in my age range who's taken the time to read my profile and sent me a nice message, not just said 'hi'
Anyone suggesting a meet in say...5 minutes LOL I delete.
Depending on my mood, a sarcastic comment or two does occasionally slip from my fingers into some f*ckwit's Inbox in response to their inane message  |
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"...like me.
Do you actually read and reply to all the ones you do get? Or do you, like me, just avoid the inbox unless you're expecting a message from someone or playing a forum game? (Or other reasons)"
I check the profile before opening the message and if I see anything I don't like then I delete it. |
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Some are deleted on sight (all derivatives of 'how are you' and generic compliments)
Some are blocked on sight (crude lewd rude)
Some I respond to.
I've yet to secure a meet.
Send thoughts and prayers...(but not via the inbox ta) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I usually send a polite message back to anyone local and in my age range who's taken the time to read my profile and sent me a nice message, not just said 'hi'
Anyone suggesting a meet in say...5 minutes LOL I delete.
Depending on my mood, a sarcastic comment or two does occasionally slip from my fingers into some f*ckwit's Inbox in response to their inane message "
I do feel bad sometimes because surprisingly I get really nice messages, I can't actually remember the last time I got a horrible one (don't all rush to send me one!)
I know it isn't gonna go anyway, but if I sent a nice thank you reply, then they'd reply and I'd reply and they'd reply and where does it end!?!?!? Total madness that's where! |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
No I don't.
I'm going to start doing it but to be honest, and this might sound a tad cruel... when I don't have the headspace or energy to reply, I don't. So that might mean replying a week later or whatever. Sometimes I'm dickstracted and I'd rather channel my energy in that direction.
Sometimes I just think... why the fuck are they messaging me? I'm a little bit intense and crazy, far from the beautiful woman their penis is telling them I am. So I don't reply because I can't live up to that daft pedestal.
Anyway, I'll try and do fabmin this evening because I've been quite bad at it. And now feel guilty! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No I don't.
I'm going to start doing it but to be honest, and this might sound a tad cruel... when I don't have the headspace or energy to reply, I don't. So that might mean replying a week later or whatever. Sometimes I'm dickstracted and I'd rather channel my energy in that direction.
Sometimes I just think... why the fuck are they messaging me? I'm a little bit intense and crazy, far from the beautiful woman their penis is telling them I am. So I don't reply because I can't live up to that daft pedestal.
Anyway, I'll try and do fabmin this evening because I've been quite bad at it. And now feel guilty!"
Ok you said it better. |
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"I know it isn't gonna go anyway, but if I sent a nice thank you reply, then they'd reply and I'd reply and they'd reply and where does it end!?!?!? Total madness that's where! "
Shit, sorry. I’ll ignore your next one. That’ll end it. |
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Theres something in my profile text that needs to be referenced in the subject line... if its not someone I've interacted with in the past and if that thing isn't there its 99% certain that its getting deleted unread |
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"I usually send a polite message back to anyone local and in my age range who's taken the time to read my profile and sent me a nice message, not just said 'hi'
Anyone suggesting a meet in say...5 minutes LOL I delete.
Depending on my mood, a sarcastic comment or two does occasionally slip from my fingers into some f*ckwit's Inbox in response to their inane message "
Haha this is so me too!! Although I generally send a polite reply to anyone who’s taken the time to write a good first message (they can be really tricky to do after all!)  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm like Meli. I usually have a quick scan to see if there's any from friends I talk to semi regularly, but I usually just can't be bothered reading the rest 
In my defence that's when I turn messages off, so I like to think of that as a sign I'm not dealing with my inbox. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ooh this is me.
And no not really, I do scan them occasionally. See if anything pops out.
But not in a boing way..."
I save those in my "personal time" folder. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I avoid unless it's a friend or a forum thing.
Then I bulk delete. "
I might take a week to even look... unless it's a forum thing and I'm expecting it |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"...like me.
Do you actually read and reply to all the ones you do get? Or do you, like me, just avoid the inbox unless you're expecting a message from someone or playing a forum game? (Or other reasons)
Over the last few days I have. I am no longer sent into panic by the yellow. Mainly because I get more messages from lovely forum friends than slide into DM types.
J"
I still have the panic... I don't like it  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
"No I don't.
I'm going to start doing it but to be honest, and this might sound a tad cruel... when I don't have the headspace or energy to reply, I don't. So that might mean replying a week later or whatever. Sometimes I'm dickstracted and I'd rather channel my energy in that direction.
Sometimes I just think... why the fuck are they messaging me? I'm a little bit intense and crazy, far from the beautiful woman their penis is telling them I am. So I don't reply because I can't live up to that daft pedestal.
Anyway, I'll try and do fabmin this evening because I've been quite bad at it. And now feel guilty!
Ok you said it better. "
Stop being nice! You've got an image to maintain damn it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We don't get many messages. If it's people from the forum that are chatting then I usually reply. If it's someone not from the forums and we don't have any want to converse then we won't
F |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I usually send a polite message back to anyone local and in my age range who's taken the time to read my profile and sent me a nice message, not just said 'hi'
Anyone suggesting a meet in say...5 minutes LOL I delete.
Depending on my mood, a sarcastic comment or two does occasionally slip from my fingers into some f*ckwit's Inbox in response to their inane message "
I've been doing the sarcasm recently. It's been cathartic.
|
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"...like me.
Do you actually read and reply to all the ones you do get? Or do you, like me, just avoid the inbox unless you're expecting a message from someone or playing a forum game? (Or other reasons)
I check the profile before opening the message and if I see anything I don't like then I delete it. "
I absolutely do that too.
Although I did reply to one the other day with something like "ok... but what the hell is that in xx picture?" |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Some are deleted on sight (all derivatives of 'how are you' and generic compliments)
Some are blocked on sight (crude lewd rude)
Some I respond to.
I've yet to secure a meet.
Send thoughts and prayers...(but not via the inbox ta)"
Sending thoughts and prayers. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Absolutely not…
They’re still coming at me with their sausage out and asking to meet now so they can jog on."
They are?
But think of all the use your big knife could get with the sausages |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I avoid unless it's a friend or a forum thing.
Then I bulk delete.
I might take a week to even look... unless it's a forum thing and I'm expecting it"
To be honest it says on my profile I probably won't reply so I never feel bad about it.
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"It depends on the message, who’s sent it and what it says
If it’s something engaging I’ll reply
If it’s someone just trying their luck I’ll block and delete without opening "
I can't even be bothered to block more often than not. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I don't get a lot of messages. I usually don't even get one new one a day I've filters tighter than a ducks ass.
But no I don't reply to them all.If they cheat through my filters they just get deleted or if the profile who sent it really doesn't appeal or if they have messaged me before and I've told them no. (I keep notes on most who I have said no to).
Mostly though I will reply even if it's to say thanks but no thanks. And as I'm not doing new meets that is usually what my reply is. Unless it's something off the forums I'm replying to.
In saying that I often don't even look at my messages every day. |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"No I don't.
I'm going to start doing it but to be honest, and this might sound a tad cruel... when I don't have the headspace or energy to reply, I don't. So that might mean replying a week later or whatever. Sometimes I'm dickstracted and I'd rather channel my energy in that direction.
Sometimes I just think... why the fuck are they messaging me? I'm a little bit intense and crazy, far from the beautiful woman their penis is telling them I am. So I don't reply because I can't live up to that daft pedestal.
Anyway, I'll try and do fabmin this evening because I've been quite bad at it. And now feel guilty!"
I do just that. Except the guilt. I don't do that part. Except when I do. Which is sometimes.
But head space is important! |
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By *viatrixWoman
over a year ago
Redhill |
I read them, but don’t reply unless it’s a thought out message or I like the face photo attached to it AND they are tall enough. *shallow* I have zero interest in meeting right now, so anyone saying they want to meet in their first message I just ignore.
I mostly keep logged on FAB to communicate with my FWBs. So I do have to scan the old inbox once in a while… |
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"Absolutely not…
They’re still coming at me with their sausage out and asking to meet now so they can jog on.
They are?
But think of all the use your big knife could get with the sausages "
I can only dream 
These people feed the darkness. |
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By *edeWoman
over a year ago
the abyss |
Generally I only look in my inbox if it's a forum game or if I'm speaking to someone. Until the yellow starts to bother me.
I try to reply to people who have gone out of their way to message because I don't know why the hell they would! Especially if I can tell they have made the effort to read my profile.
When my head isn't really in it and so I do delete without even looking which does make me feel bad. I also delete the ones that I recognise as copy paste messages that have been sent several times over by the same profile.
Sorry   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It depends on the message, who’s sent it and what it says
If it’s something engaging I’ll reply
If it’s someone just trying their luck I’ll block and delete without opening
I can't even be bothered to block more often than not."
I love the block button!
Remind me what a yellow message is?
Is it like the 'yellow snow warning'? I always associate that with my dog having been out in the snow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Id rather get deleted than read and not replied, or unread.
That way all hope is removed and it's clear what the score is.
A reply is a rare gift to treasure |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
... I've filters tighter than a ducks ass... "
That is not true, I know at least two people on here who set their filters with an age range of 98-99 (or possibly worse). |
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"Sometimes I just think... why the fuck are they messaging me? I'm a little bit intense and crazy, far from the beautiful woman their penis is telling them I am. So I don't reply because I can't live up to that daft pedestal.
"
I think quite a few people here now know that I mainly think in song lyrics. I often get Billy Bragg's A New England in my head when I read some messages - "You put me on a pedestal, I put you on the pill..."
J |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
"
... I've filters tighter than a ducks ass...
That is not true, I know at least two people on here who set their filters with an age range of 98-99 (or possibly worse)."
Well they are right enough for me and as far as I'm concerned that's all that matters  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I think quite a few people here now know that I mainly think in song lyrics. I often get Billy Bragg's A New England in my head when I read some messages - "You put me on a pedestal, I put you on the pill..."
J"
I love Billy Bragg, often paste snippets of his lyrics as my status update. Always smile at Shirley lying back and thinking of England when she doesn't know who is in the team (that was clearly my girlfriend at Uni - many years ago) |
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Theres something in my profile text that needs to be referenced in the subject line... if its not someone I've interacted with in the past and if that thing isn't there its 99% certain that its getting deleted unread |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"Theres something in my profile text that needs to be referenced in the subject line... if its not someone I've interacted with in the past and if that thing isn't there its 99% certain that its getting deleted unread"
That's fair. I never put one of them in, I think a lot of people scan for those words and don't bother with the rest... |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I usually send a polite message back to anyone local and in my age range who's taken the time to read my profile and sent me a nice message, not just said 'hi'
Anyone suggesting a meet in say...5 minutes LOL I delete.
Depending on my mood, a sarcastic comment or two does occasionally slip from my fingers into some f*ckwit's Inbox in response to their inane message
Haha this is so me too!! Although I generally send a polite reply to anyone who’s taken the time to write a good first message (they can be really tricky to do after all!) "
I do try and do that. It might take a week or more... but I do |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"I'm like Meli. I usually have a quick scan to see if there's any from friends I talk to semi regularly, but I usually just can't be bothered reading the rest
In my defence that's when I turn messages off, so I like to think of that as a sign I'm not dealing with my inbox. "
I only do that when I hide. But I do also say I'm unlikely to answer in my profile... so I'd hope that's a sign. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
... I've filters tighter than a ducks ass...
That is not true, I know at least two people on here who set their filters with an age range of 98-99 (or possibly worse).
Well they are right enough for me and as far as I'm concerned that's all that matters "
Fair play - it is your profile and you have set reasonable filters, just thought I would comment light heartedly, cos at least one of my hotlist has the following (give it time I will be able to approach her!):
Looking For
Men
Aged from 98 to 99 only |
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"I think quite a few people here now know that I mainly think in song lyrics. I often get Billy Bragg's A New England in my head when I read some messages - "You put me on a pedestal, I put you on the pill..."
J
I love Billy Bragg, often paste snippets of his lyrics as my status update. Always smile at Shirley lying back and thinking of England when she doesn't know who is in the team (that was clearly my girlfriend at Uni - many years ago)"
His lyrics are so clever. He's amazing live too 
J |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
Ladies, gents, everyone who replies... please don't take it personally if I don't reply to your comment in this thread... I've got to head out and I'm already behind in replying.
I am reading and shall read every comment though, and I'm thanking you now for taking the time to leave them. |
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By *ad NannaWoman
over a year ago
East London |
"
... I've filters tighter than a ducks ass...
That is not true, I know at least two people on here who set their filters with an age range of 98-99 (or possibly worse).
Well they are right enough for me and as far as I'm concerned that's all that matters
Fair play - it is your profile and you have set reasonable filters, just thought I would comment light heartedly, cos at least one of my hotlist has the following (give it time I will be able to approach her!):
Looking For
Men
Aged from 98 to 99 only"
The age filter means she won't show on searches, thus saving having to ignore or block.
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"Ladies, gents, everyone who replies... please don't take it personally if I don't reply to your comment in this thread... I've got to head out and I'm already behind in replying.
I am reading and shall read every comment though, and I'm thanking you now for taking the time to leave them."
... If someone wants your attention, they'll just have to work a little harder to get it
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"...like me
I still don’t believe this.
I rarely send messages because I always assume you’re swamped with them. "
Only a few women get swamped. Many more not so much. |
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"I often get Billy Bragg's A New England in my head when I read some messages - "You put me on a pedestal, I put you on the pill..."
J"
"I love Billy Bragg, often paste snippets of his lyrics as my status update."
I bloody love that song too.
I saw two shooting stars last night.
I wished on them, but they were only satellites!
It’s wrong to wish on space hardware,
I wish, I wish, I wish you’d care. |
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"This thread was enlightening.  "
In what way Woody? Are you surprised that us amazing ladies aren't inundated? It's true for us although a lot of that is filters. But when they're dropped for forum games there's usually only a couple of unrelated messages.
J |
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"...like me
I still don’t believe this.
I rarely send messages because I always assume you’re swamped with them.
Only a few women get swamped. Many more not so much."
Filters, scary profile and being here so long that you’re not a novelty helps |
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By *eFCUKaLotCouple
over a year ago
somewhere close |
"Some are deleted on sight (all derivatives of 'how are you' and generic compliments)
Some are blocked on sight (crude lewd rude)
Some I respond to.
I've yet to secure a
Send thoughts and prayers...(but not via the inbox ta)"
I’m interested to know how you prefer someone to start a message? And no I’m not going to message you because you’ll just deleted it right |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"On a separate note, how many do I need before I can do one of those "sorry guys, bulk delete" statuses? "
none.
Same number to boost a reply in the "ask in private, post on public" threads. 
Fake social proof FTW.  |
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I check their profile (in Ninja mode) before I open the message and then 99% of the time, will delete the message unread because of something on their profile that’s put me off.
If they don’t have any public pics on their profile but have attached pics to the message, then I might sneak a look (with one eye open ) but it’s usually a dick pic so then they get immediately blocked |
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"I check their profile (in Ninja mode) before I open the message and then 99% of the time, will delete the message unread because of something on their profile that’s put me off.
If they don’t have any public pics on their profile but have attached pics to the message, then I might sneak a look (with one eye open ) but it’s usually a dick pic so then they get immediately blocked "
Did somebody mention ninja? |
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"Some are deleted on sight (all derivatives of 'how are you' and generic compliments)
Some are blocked on sight (crude lewd rude)
Some I respond to.
I've yet to secure a
Send thoughts and prayers...(but not via the inbox ta)
I’m interested to know how you prefer someone to start a message? And no I’m not going to message you because you’ll just deleted it right "
Couples are filtered out so I wouldn't worry about it.
In terms of the question though I think you should say what you like in a message... I mean make it personal to the recipient and all that but if I have to tell someone what to put into a message I might as well just talk to myself.
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"If you all didn't block me I would be sending 100's to each, copied and pasted because I'm thoughfull, with a cock pic as well because I know this turns you on. "
I'll take them |
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"Avoid the inbox altogether
It does make for a quiet life.
But there is a certain someone who I look forward to hearing from in there  "
It does, doesn’t it? I felt like that not long ago but thank God we graduated to mainly WhatsApp |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Tbh ..lm so glad I don't.....or ever will have that problem that ladies here have in receiving loads of messages, Wether they're in the hundreds or not, personally l don't know how they cope cause l couldn't..not in a million years could l ever go through what they do. .. facing a yellow wall everytime they log on ..lm very thankful for small mercies and little or a lot of the time.. there's no messages ...bliss !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I feel bad for you ladies that have lots of messages but how do we as lads stand out.
There is only so many ways to say hello to someone we have never met
I guess this is why i will forever stay yellow in all your inboxes lol |
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I have been on here for some time, I can't remember how many times I've tried to make contact with women who seem to be on the same page as me, but the sad truth is 99% of my messages have been ignored.a
couple have arranged to meet and not turned up, never to be heard of again.
I don't know how many messages people get but your getting a dam lot more than me.
but i live in hope, well I live in Cornwall but you know what I mean. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am not a fan of the colour yellow but I am training myself to ignore the unread messages. It's good for me.
I said I couldn't be arsed to reply on my profile. And I can't unless it's a forum person really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"This thread was enlightening.
In what way Woody? Are you surprised that us amazing ladies aren't inundated? …..
J"
Just the answers on what you guys think about all of this, and what you do I guess. |
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"This thread was enlightening.
In what way Woody? Are you surprised that us amazing ladies aren't inundated? …..
J
Just the answers on what you guys think about all of this, and what you do I guess. "
I think guys on here often forget that the women on the forum are not representative of most women on Fab. Or maybe we are. I'd say not from scanning local updates though.
J |
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By *otSoPosh OP Woman
over a year ago
In a ball gown because that's how we roll in N. Devon |
"This thread was enlightening.
In what way Woody? Are you surprised that us amazing ladies aren't inundated? …..
J
Just the answers on what you guys think about all of this, and what you do I guess.
I think guys on here often forget that the women on the forum are not representative of most women on Fab. Or maybe we are. I'd say not from scanning local updates though.
J"
I'd agree with Julie on this. It feels unlikely we are representative of most of the fab women. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Absolutely not…
They’re still coming at me with their sausage out and asking to meet now so they can jog on."
That's shocking. Whatever happened to the simple, traditional faf message?.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I think guys on here often forget that the women on the forum are not representative of most women on Fab. Or maybe we are. I'd say not from scanning local updates though.
J
I'd agree with Julie on this. It feels unlikely we are representative of most of the fab women."
It's quite an interesting thought. As a pure random guess maybe 1000 people use the forums (no science behind that!). But whenever I log on there are always over 30000 people online. So who are all the other people and what are they like..? Are they just getting on with meeting people? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I actually dread getting a message now, I just can't be bothered lol. I sometimes answer saying no thank you. I'm getting just too tired and don't have the energy anymore. Sorry guys! |
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"Wow great insight.
I am slightly sceptical that a lot of the women who have replied on this thread are not getting a 100 messages a day.
If they weren't I am sure they are now.
"
Yesterday our filters were dropped for a good 6 hours while I took part in the "What I like about you" thread. In that time we only got 3 thirsty messages that were nothing to do with the thread. We rarely have filters dropped after 10pm though which is when the horny FAF, wuu2 brigade seem to come out.
J |
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Depends on the content of the message if we get what you into or amazing tits we will usually just ignore it people who bother to use a braincell and write a full message will always get a reply it's just good manners even if we aren't interested |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it's obvious they have read my profile abd attached a picture then I always reply even if a no ty. If they are decent messages but no pic I may ask them for one. I don't bother with the hi how are you type messages though. I'm thinking of adding a bit on my profile just to get that crap out of the way haha. |
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I try my best to answer all the messages that we get, some people will try and take advantage of that, even after me saying that we aren't interested they still keep on messaging, then they don't get a reply back and if they persist or get angry I block them. |
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"...like me.
Do you actually read and reply to all the ones you do get? Or do you, like me, just avoid the inbox unless you're expecting a message from someone or playing a forum game? (Or other reasons)"
Now I'm sure I alone send you 100 a day |
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Just to save me time and pain and disappointment I may aswell just say to all the ladies here that you all have great profiles and you all look bloody lovely xxx
Might as well have a bulk rejection hete with no replies than send 100 msgs and get no replies.
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"This thread was enlightening.
In what way Woody? Are you surprised that us amazing ladies aren't inundated? …..
J
Just the answers on what you guys think about all of this, and what you do I guess.
I think guys on here often forget that the women on the forum are not representative of most women on Fab. Or maybe we are. I'd say not from scanning local updates though.
J
I'd agree with Julie on this. It feels unlikely we are representative of most of the fab women."
And I regard that as a positive thing. That’s not to say I have anything against anyone who doesn’t frequent the lounge, heck, for the longest time I didn’t. It’s more that I like being in the lounge because of the people here. These days I’d far rather message someone I know and like about a fun topic or for a flirt than try to make a connection with a ‘stranger’.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Wow great insight.
I am slightly sceptical that a lot of the women who have replied on this thread are not getting a 100 messages a day.
If they weren't I am sure they are now.
Yesterday our filters were dropped for a good 6 hours while I took part in the "What I like about you" thread. In that time we only got 3 thirsty messages that were nothing to do with the thread. We rarely have filters dropped after 10pm though which is when the horny FAF, wuu2 brigade seem to come out.
J"
…..bookmarking for later. …. |
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With my age filters being what they are for the last year … the only unsolicited messages I get are from people I’ve previously sent a “no thank you” to , and I don’t feel obliged to repeat myself.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Posh, thank you for another, genuinely interesting thread.
It's nice to have a slightly better understanding of what happens at the opposite side of fab. And whilst I'm not offended when a message of mine doesn't get read, it's good to have a grasp of why that might be. |
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