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Spoil a chat-up line

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By *odgerMoore OP Man over a year ago

Carlisle

So that it is guaranteed to crash & burn… yes… im bored… how did you know??

Hey - did you hurt yourself when you fell from heaven angel? - and landed on your face!

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put "u" and "i" as far apart as possible

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By *nliveneTV/TS over a year ago

Selby

After Monday is Tuesday

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By *nightsoftheCoffeeTableCouple over a year ago

Leeds

Is that a mirror in your knickers because I can definitely see it needs a wipe.

The mr

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By *.T.Man over a year ago

Belfast

I see there's a ladder in your tights. Is that an escape route?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Fancy a fudge

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By *elix SightedMan over a year ago

Cloud 8

Get your coat, love.

And go away.

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By *odgerMoore OP Man over a year ago

Carlisle

I knew My effort to type This thread would be rewarded

some classics already

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By *oubletroubleCouple over a year ago

South West

Hi I'm new to FAB please find attached a picture of my cock over an open toilet.

John x

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By *oubletroubleCouple over a year ago

South West

Here's 10p now phone your mum and tell her you need picking up.

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By *elix SightedMan over a year ago

Cloud 8

Hey, are your feet tired?

Because they stink.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Has anyone ever told you have beautiful you look? .

Good cause they'd be FUCKING lying

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By *.T.Man over a year ago

Belfast

You are only 12 pints from being my type...

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By *irty-pairCouple over a year ago

South Essex

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you kick me in the balls and tell me to fuck off?

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By *odgerMoore OP Man over a year ago

Carlisle

You look the image of my first girlfriend… we met when I rescued her from a chip pan fire ..

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By *elix SightedMan over a year ago

Cloud 8

You took my breath away!

But I’ve finished vomiting now.

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By *idlandiaMan over a year ago

Birmingham

My friends bet I can’t talk to the prettiest girl in the club. did you see where she went?

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By *avinaTVTV/TS over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

Nice shoes!

Wanna fuck... off?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Nice body

Shame about the face

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By *elix SightedMan over a year ago

Cloud 8

Wow - you’ve got a body from Baywatch!!

Shame about the face from Crimewatch…

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By *avinaTVTV/TS over a year ago

Transsexual Transylvania

I feel that we must have known one another in a previous life.

Were you a smelly peasant I once rode past when I was a king?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Those boots were made for walking

I suggest you take a hike

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

Is your father a thief? Because he looks like a thieving little b*stard

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By *ubwife4uCouple over a year ago

Kent

Wow, was you born like that …

…or struck by lightning?

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By *ickshawedCouple over a year ago

Wolverhampton

Do you believe in love at first sight? Because I now know disgust at first sight is real.

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By *inkyropecoupleCouple over a year ago

carluke

You’re nice…..but not that nice, I’m away for a kebab

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got shitty day written all over you.

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Your eyes are like spanners... Every time I look at you I wish you'd stop 'torquing'

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By *oshnbex30Couple over a year ago

yorkshire

Hahaha these are so funny

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By *ulieAndBeefCouple over a year ago

Manchester-ish

Are you a WiFi Hot-spot? Because you look unstable...

J (I'm having too much fun with these)

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By *istyPeaksCouple over a year ago

braintree

One I actually had

On a nightclub dance floor

“Wow - you don’t sweat much for a fat lass”

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By *C79Man over a year ago

Caterham

It must have really hurt when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down

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By *drian HardthrobMan over a year ago

Worcester

How do you like your eggs in the morning... Fertilised?

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By *odgerMoore OP Man over a year ago

Carlisle

Me: did you used to work in the fireworks factory?

Her: why? Do i look like im dynamite?

Me: no - it looks like a banger went off in your mouth !!

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By *odgerMoore OP Man over a year ago

Carlisle

"One I actually had

On a nightclub dance floor

“Wow - you don’t sweat much for a fat lass”"

Did he have a guide dog?? You’re bloody lovely xx

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By *ez669Man over a year ago

East Kilbride

Marks out of 2 id give you 1

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By *istyPeaksCouple over a year ago

braintree

"One I actually had

On a nightclub dance floor

“Wow - you don’t sweat much for a fat lass”

Did he have a guide dog?? You’re bloody lovely xx"

You’re a gent x

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By *ez669Man over a year ago

East Kilbride

"One I actually had

On a nightclub dance floor

“Wow - you don’t sweat much for a fat lass”"

He clearly lost his nerve and jusg. Blurted out lies

Pa did it work?

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By *r_PinkMan over a year ago

london stratford

I admit, you aint no oil painting but I would still fuck ya!

shall we?

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By *istyPeaksCouple over a year ago

braintree

"One I actually had

On a nightclub dance floor

“Wow - you don’t sweat much for a fat lass”

He clearly lost his nerve and jusg. Blurted out lies

Pa did it work?

Did it feck

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By *ig_eric_tionMan over a year ago

IPSWICH

Is that a ladder in your tights or the highway to hell? .... hold on that's not right.

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

"Hey lady, ever had your ass hole licked by a fat man in an overcoat?"

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By *ez669Man over a year ago

East Kilbride

Do you fuck on first dates? No. Well what about the morning after

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By *tar80sWoman over a year ago

Southampton

Roses are red, violets are black, why is your chest as flat as my back?

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By (user no longer on site) over a year ago

You had me at ‘goodbye’.

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By *odgerMoore OP Man over a year ago

Carlisle

Wow… I’d give you one

Oh would you now?

Yes.. it’s out of 100 mind you!!

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By *ez669Man over a year ago

East Kilbride

Thats not a bra you need for them bee stings its ointment

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By *intiemintieWoman over a year ago

Scottish Borders

Send me a pic so I can show Santa what I (dont) want for Christmas ; )

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By *partharmonyCouple over a year ago

Ruislip

Your teeth are like stars. They come out at night.

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By *r_PinkMan over a year ago

london stratford

All of this reminds me of years ago at a swingers social I went to in Essex.

This Scotish "Unicorn" slagged me off in front of everyone all night and I mean really slagged me off. saying I was a short arse, Thick, little man must have little cock and so on and so forth in front of everyone. The end of the night comes and she had the audacity to TELL ME "right you coming back to my room then?" and was honestly shocked when I told her to fuck off. Later, I got told by her friend that once I left she moaned that I teased her all night.... Her friend told me she stuck up for me and told the woman what a total twat she was to me.

Suffice to say, I never saw her again.

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